things that are happening and i am freaking out about

I’m on standby today, which means I don’t have to go to work unless they call me in. Given that my neighborhood is still the next best thing to an outdoor ice rink, I’m reeeeeeally hoping that doesn’t happen

Anyway, I’ve decided to spend the day watching that Gay Skating Anime Everyone Is Freaking Out About and maybe getting some writing (!!!!!!) in, and let me tell you folks, I am fucking CHARMED by this show so far. CHARMED!!!

ansilknomad replied to your post “a quick question to my fellow poc’s, I’ve been thinking a lot about…”

Definitely! As a brown woman, I am telling you. It’s there…and the most fucked up thing about it that you don’t even realize it that you are doing it until someone points it out at you and then you become conscious of it, then its your choice to change it in healthy way or unhealthy way. I noticed this so much about me as a 12yrs FOB, and I had no idea the damage I was suffering, by hands by my own ppl too! Not just media. I was so freaking insecure and I am dealing it I completely agree with you, it just happens so naturally, you don’t even realise that you’re being a racist to your own skin let alone anyone elses. And then like you said it’s about changing that mindset and dealing with it in the best possible way.

The moment you feel ashamed of practicing your cultural parts or your roots because you are afraid to be judged…you know it’s happening. I still feel guilty about the younger me who would lash out at my mom, who wouldn’t want to bring ethnic food, who would try to acclimate and stop speaking bc of accent, who dared doubted intelligence of my parents bc they had trouble with English.All these little things adds up. I still apologize to my parents, accept myself. I’m crying right not because it just hit me that I did this. My dad has a strong accent and I used to always be embarrassed and tried to get him to stop speaking and it just…I love my dad so much and am so disappointed in my younger self for having this internalized racism that I did nothing to stop it. 

It’s an ongoing process…but there definitely is internalize racism. One of the ways when it gets better is through representation. So much representation that you don’t doubt yourself, and your roots. < that is so so important. Thank you so much for your reply, it really resonated to me. One day I won’t care what other’s think of my skin tone or what I used to care, i’ll just be happy with my colour and ethnicity. 

Today, I fucked up... by asking a girl out

So there’s some things you have understand before I start this story. I’m in grade ten of high school (this happened in June, so about a month ago). I am an incredibly anti-social person. Up until this point I have never even tried to ask a girl out. This was my first time EVER. So I walk up to her, absolutely terrified, and just before I say anything, I trip on a crack in the side walk and land right on my face. I get up instantly and try to play it off, blood gushing out of my nose. She is freaking, and I’m stumbling around mumbling “its okay, I’m fine, I’m fine” when I fall for a second time, this time backwards, cracking the back of my head against the sidewalk, knocking me out cold. I wake up in the hospital a few hours later, luckily with no serious injuries, except maybe my pride.

TL;DR Tried to ask a girl out, ended up in hospital

Check out more TIFU: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

Five Things that Happen to ALL Music Majors
  1. Freaking out about music theory homework. EVERYBODY does it. The freaking out, I mean. Some people don’t do the homework, but that is not a Successful Strategy. That is how you get to take even more music theory because you didn’t pass. And the thought of not passing is what is causing you to gently hyperventilate when you stare at your worksheet, wondering who the hell is Tristan and what does he have to do with these Germans you teacher was talking about during your 8 am. (It was early, you weren’t paying very much attention.) 
  2. Crying in a practice room. Practice rooms are theoretically soundproof, they have no windows or windows that are easily covered, and no one questions why you’d be alone in there for a while. Whether it be a few tears of frustration or an actual, bawling, red-eyed, messy tantrum, every music major will cry in a practice room at some point. 
  3. Performing a concert when you should honestly probably be hospitalized. I once sang in a composition recital with a compress still around my arm from the antibiotic IV I’d been on 45 minutes ago. Was this a good plan? Probably not! Eventually you will have undiagnosed walking pneumonia, or awful tonsilitis, or an ankle that’s so twisted it’s almost on backwards, and you’ll do a concert anyway. It’s best to do this during your undergrad, so your teacher can yell at you and shame you into not doing it again.
  4. Teaching your first student and having NO CLUE what you’re doing. So! Students are weird and not at all as simple as your pedagogy class led you to believe! Fear not, though, brave musician, for everyone who now teaches had a first student too. And honestly, everyone else was confused too.
  5. Knowing what probably caused those stains in the music lounge and falling asleep there anyway. Seriously, they’re a weird kind of tan-ish brown, they’re on the couch and the floor, and just. Just gross. So gross. And yet, the couch is disgustingly comfortable, you’re running on four hours of sleep because of your theory homework, you’re fighting off a cold so you aren’t sick for a concert, you’ve already taught a lesson today, and if you don’t sleep Bach is going to make you cry. So you fall asleep on the sketchy couch anyway. Congratulations, you’re now officially a Music Major.
REASONS I AM NOT MASSIVELY FREAKING OUT OVER THE END OF EPISODE 10

We all knew it was going to bloody happen, realistically. If you’d read the books you definitely knew it was going to happen; if you hadn’t read the books you could probably make an educated guess. 

But much more majorly - there is OVERWHELMING evidence to me anyway that there’s no way Jon has actually been killed. 

1) There’s a whole thing about him being Azor Ahai reborn; Melisandre thought he was Stannis, and got frustrated when all she saw in the flames was Jon Snow. Therefore, he will be reborn by the fire within him (song of ice and fire? There’s many reasons Jon fits this title, and this is yet another; a man of fire living at a wall of ice. And I’m not even talking about the Targaryen thing atm)

2) Melisandre appearing at The Wall - yeah OK, so she doesn’t exactly have anywhere else to go, but equally I think this feeds very neatly into the first theory really; that she has eventually found the man she is meant to serve

3) Vaguely mentioned the whole Targaryen thing so let’s go there - we still haven’t heard Jon Snow’s real parentage. GRRM says it will eventually be revealed. What’s the point of revealing it if Jon isn’t alive? I mean, it COULD be revealed but it would be an utterly pointless piece of information if it can’t affect Jon in any way whatsoever. 

4) GRRM never minces words when he kills characters. If they’re dead they’re dead. He’s always been charming like that. In the books, it is said that Jon feels ‘cold… cold… cold…’ and then shuts like that. We are never told he dies. You could say I’m clutching at strings here, but in all honesty no; GRRM’s writing style gives me enough to believe there is a REASON he didn’t bluntly say that Jon died. 

5) Speaking of writing, and here comes my most major reason; they are utterly fucked if Jon dies. I don’t just mean against the White Walkers and Wights, although that is very true - I mean from a storytelling perspective. Think about it. The only two viewpoints from The Wall are Sam’s and Jon’s. Sam isn’t at The Wall anymore. We can only know what’s happening there if Jon is alive and viewing the happenings. We all know Winter has approached at extreme speed, and there’s a massive story unfolding there; without Jon, it just can’t be told. As an audience, we simply don’t have the attachment to any character up North to tell the story in a way we would care. As more time goes by, I’m beginning to appreciate that Jon is THE central character to the GoT universe; if you kill off any other character, beloved or not, yeah it sucks, but the story can go on, just about. Even Daenerys; she goes, that’s just a storyline of invasion gone. If Jon’s out, that’s a VERY huge and integral storyline that simply can’t be told. He’s the only character who if he’s killed off, the writing has a massive continuity problem.

6) And finally, most importantly, Kit Harington has been signed on for Season 6 so I think we can safely say that he’ll be making an appearance i.e he ain’t dead people

hi this is important so please read

my name is seth vxcesandvirtues. i am 14 years old, and im a minor.

last night, as you can see from the screenshot, i got a voicemail from an unknown caller last night at 10:11 PM (22:11).

i listened to it, and im really freaking out? while i dont believe one of the members of 5sos would have my number, because why would they, im a little concerned that someone has shared my number. ridiculous as it sounds, this is what the voicemail said:

“i’m really hurt, that, that uh - that you said that stuff online about me. um, being in 5sos is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. and uh, you’re trashing us because you like uh, whats that band called - fall out boy? yeah, i hate them.”

and this is NOT cool. i am FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. i am a MINOR.

i dont want to accuse people. i dont want to disturb friendships. the only people online who have my number are spencejsmith actualbrendonurie cvllarfull hurleyfucker theatraladeux and littlesnowpeafics 

so if you guys know anything about this… please tell me. and in case any of you people dont believe me - tell me how to upload an audio clip from my phone to my mac and i will.

what happened to prisoner!america???????

because imagine rusame prison au 

where Alfred and Ivan are cellmates and Al is Ivan’s new cellmate. And one day Alfred asks Ivan what he’s in for and Ivan says “nothing because i am innocent” and proceeds to tell Alfred how he was framed for something he never did and mentally Alfred is freaking out because he knows exactly what Ivan is talking about because it was hIM who did it

Al never says anything at first though (bc Ivan is kinda scary looking) and eventually the two end up ‘a thing’ but Alfred comes clean one day bc a secret that big from your s/o is sure to cause a hell of a lot of stress and Ivan is suuper pissed and hgnnghhhhhhh

THey’d still be sharing a cell though and there’d be tension and fights and probably end up with a steamy sort of hatesex thing and 

oh man prisoner!Al needs to be a thing again

Two Roads Meet - Chapter 16

A/N: I’M SORRY THIS IS LATE BUT IT’S A LOT LONGER THAN I INTENDED SO I HOPE THAT MAKES UP FOR IT ALso i’m beginning to wrap the storyline up so hang in there something Big is about to happen towards the end no spoilers but

Summary: Phil Lester, a shy, poetic hipster, is talented at a lot of things; social interaction not being one of them. But when his best friend Tom, a popular socialite, wins a competition for a Road Trip, Phil suddenly finds himself meeting a whole new group of friends, including the total stud Dan Howell; a flirt-machine in a leather jacket. But will Phil’s awkwardly interesting personality intrigue Dan, or completely freak him out?

DISCLAIMER: Obviously (and unfortunately) everything I have written is entirely fictional. I am not claiming Phan is real

LINK TO THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

——————————————————

Dan told me he lived by fate, under the rules of the stars. I scribbled into today’s page.
He’d described his perception of fate to me when we were on the road, staring out into the seemingly infinite stretch of land ahead of us.
He’d told m whispered to me (we didn’t want to wake anyone) that he viewed fate, and human life as a road.
He’d said that even though the road may look as if any kind of end is an impossibility, the fact remains that it’s uncertain where, or when the inevitable will appear. I think he was trying to describe human death. I swallowed nervously.
I remember my gaze travelling to the window either side of us, staring in enchantment as the hundreds of trees, lights, and civilization rushed past us within milliseconds. Dan started using them to represent the hundreds of opportunities we come across every single day of our lives, and how humans either ignore, or reject these opportunities for fear of consequences.
I remember him staring at me in the pause after his small monologue, and reminding me that the majority of the time, the consequences of either rejecting or passing on opportunities can be worse than those of taking the opportunity when its available.
I guess that’s why they say you regret the words you didn’t say when you had the chance, more than the words you did.
Because fate waits for no-one.

Keep reading

i meant to only respond to the first anon with this, but i may as well unload a few other questions, too.

Anonymous said: The love you have for your au & ocs inspired the heck outta me.

n’aww, thank you!

it’s been almost a year but i’m still goin’ strong, haha. i just love thinking about their story so much, it’s silly.

Anonymous said: hey bali, mind if i do a quick complain? because ive been drawing and redrawing and redrawing this freaking thing (mostly the hands tbh fuck hands!) since thursday and i am sO PISSED it never comes out right! i NEED to draw hands that don’t look like badly sharpened pencils oTL. anyway sorry for taking up space in ur askbox

that shit happens, bud. if you’re really that frustrated with it, maybe take a break from it for a few days and look at it again with fresh eyes? it might help to look at some references, too–i should have some hand-specific ones in my reference and/or references tags!

stay determined!!

Anonymous said: guidance seems to scream Chara tbh. (just to be clear this is not a request)

oh, yeah, for sure.

A good friend of mine tweeted this. It’s a simple thing that I’ve been seeing a lot of lately, and it’s starting to get on my last nerve.
if I see one more person say that feminism is stupid or shouldn’t be argued about and that everybody needs to calm down I am going to freak out
when are people going to realize them feminism isn’t about women hating men it is about equality of men and women in the workplace and in general
it is about getting rid of double standards
“Sam Smith wrote a whole album about his ex boyfriend and was applauded for it while Taylor Swift did the same and was criticized”
it is these things that we are trying to get rid of.
it is acknowledging that rape in men and women does happen and does not receive the consequences that it should. i.e. “women are asking for it with the clothing they wear.” “you shouldn’t have led him on.” “but you two are dating, or you two are married, so what” so what is women and men have a right to their own bodies and nobody else has the right to touch, enter, or make decisions for your body but you. Rapists do not get the punishment they deserve. “Well he said he didn’t do it so there’s nothing we can do.”
Feminism is about body positivity and realizing that women do not have to look a certain way or dress a certain way or be a certain skin tone to be considered women, or to be considered beautiful. Men and Women are allowed to be virgins without, Men and Women are allowed to be sexually active. These are things that should not be shamed. Bodies are not something that should be shamed or taken advantage of. We have a right to our bodies we have a right to our jobs and our equal pay. Women are allowed to be powerful. Women are allowed to live without being sorry for everything they do. Being feminine is not an insult. Being manly is not an insult to women. Being who you are should not be put to shame, it should be celebrated. I haven’t even hit every point that has to do with what feminism represents. I am done with the ignorance. Just because you may not be a victim or may be more privileged than others does not mean these issues do not exist. Grow up.

youtube

so many things happened in this vlog i just really had to make a post about it…

first is obviously the beginning, which is my absolute favorite jaspar moment ever, because look at how CUTE AND SHY JOE IS HE’S LITERALLY SMILING THE ENTIRE TIME HE WAS TALKING. not to mention Caspar’s massive display of heart eyes. idk they’re just so cute i literally felt my heart do a cartwheel.

of course we can’t leave out jaspar in a pool. i mean, come on…

Keep reading

OPEN RPG (What happened...?)

In a moment I was just haging out with April, I think it was snowing… But now I am…

“Do you remember your name?”

“… Irma Langinstein.”

“How many months have a year?”

“Twelve months. 365 days per year.”

“Who’s the president of the United States?

“Barack Obama.”

“Show me how you hold a pen, if you don’t mind”

I don’t know how it happened… Just a few moments I was talking with April, and suddenly I am in the hospital. They told me that I was found in a comatose state; I’ve been questionated by the doctors and the police since I woke up. The psychiatrist asked me simple things about my basic knowledge and about what I remember…

“Do you know what happened to you?”

“… No… I don’t know.”

Truly don’t know. In fact, I was freaking out when I woke up at the hospital. And the police aren’t making me feel better. Even if they don’t mean to… They said for the beggining that they found out about my incident, but the case has been closed. Why?! No idea! How can they close a case about kidnapping? How can they just tell me that I was lost and then found on a van in a dark alley?

“Is there anything that you can recall?”

“…”


Pink… Why is everithing so brillant and pink?… Cold… And that sound… Where I am?… Who   Who is there?! My head… Hurts…

Waking up as become quite tiresome for Irma latetly… Nightmares that she can’t remember later. A slight pain on her mind. The stress of what happened… 

The only thing that she wanted was to keep going with the life she had and still remember. And the first thing to do it’s to keep going with her studies.

Irma may don’t remember the last months but at least she still remember her locked combination adn everithing that she had put inside of it… Except for a envelope. On the top of her books…

“Did someone put it in here?”

No name on it… She just opened to figure out what kind of letter was. 

 I know who took you.

The first letters made her eyes open wide.

You’ll remember it in time. You’ve seen things that you shouldn’t.

“What… is it?”

They might come to get you for this, that’s why you must to be warned.

Her heart was beating so fast… She could feel a knot on her throat… Was she really being… threated?!

They may look trustfull but they would fool you.

“Who…? Who would…?”

Keep away from any freak.

“Well, duh! Obiously…”

Don’t get any near of April O’Neil or her friends

“Huh?!” Now why it’s her best friend mentionated on the letter… She could feel her anxiety invading her stomach. That annonymous letter was freaking her out. Every sentence… The name of April on it. Who would send her that note? And how that writer about her? And why it would write her saying, well marked, that she should…?

Trust no one!


“Irma?”

That voice that called her on her back made her jolt. She fastly let fall the paper inse and closed her locked with a strong metallic slam. And as she did, Irma turned around, to see that persone who apperently knows her.

3

Before I go off to sleep I must speak of my adventure today…
Vanessa and I were the first ones there, we got to hot topic at 6 am and the signing wasn’t till 12. The whole time we were waiting in line and meeting new people I was starting to freak out. I WAS GOING TO MEET GERARD FUCKING WAY!
As the time got closer I swear I started like having an anxiety attack because I was about to meet the man who is the reason for many things in my life…I was about to meet my maker so to speak. After I got my wrist band I started freaking out more because it meant it was actually going to happen. That it WAS actually happening.
I was number 13 when the signing finally began. We were led inside the store to meet him and I couldn’t see him but I could hear his voice, I even saw Lola so I snapped a picture. I started hyperventilating and shaking uncontrollably the closer I got. It got to the point where the ladies in front of me let me go ahead of them in case something happened they would still be there.
When it was finally my turn I walked up to him and just stared for about a second. The first thing out of my mouth was “oh my god, you’re real.” and I started crying. I handed Gerard my letter for him to which he said “aww thank you so much” then he asked me my name, how I was doing and what I wanted signed.
As he signed my CDs I babbled about how much he meant to me and what he’s done for me. He smiled at that…then when he finished I asked if I could have a hug.
He looked around and said sure and stood up and leaned over the table to hug me. I hugged him. I HUGGED GERARD! AND IT WAS FUCKING FABULOUS! I DIDNT WANT TO GO!
Afterwards I got a picture with Lola then went straight to Vanessa…the first thing I did was tell her everything. A lady who was standing pretty close to us and came over…she was wearing a yellow wrist band so she was a part of the event…mine was green.
She looks at me and said “wow he hugged you? You must have made an impression, he wasn’t supposed to hug anyone today.”
I MADE AN IMPRESSION ON GERARD! WHAT THE HELL!!
At that point I just started bawling even more. I still haven’t come to grips with it! I’m still freaking out! I’m so fucking looking forward to seeing him in concert now though!

So like, I know everyone is freaking out about Creek being a thing that happened on national television. And so am I.

But…

Did anyone else notice how Stan and Kyle looked at each other when the boys were talking about being gay?

‘Like, dude. What if we’re gonna be gay?’ ‘Dude. What if we already are?’

Fucking gay, amirite. I love it.

so i’m in class and my group is sharing a google doc for a project thingy

and i needed to copy and paste stuff in it

i guess i didn’t actually copy that thing so when i hit paste! it pasted the last thing i had copied

an extreme graphic daddy!kink smutfic i wrote about myself, a tumblr person, and jared padalecki doing some fucked up fetish shit

i hit undo so fucking fast and then deleted the entire document. when my group freaked out i pretended i had no idea what happened. i am a terrible human being. but i’d endure satan for millennia before my classmates read about my fantasy of choking on the cum of a 32 yr old celebrity.

Can't get over the promo

Am i the only one who thinks that this scene comes after Oliver asks Felicity out?

I can picture something like this:

She says “Pick me up at 7” and then gives him an incredibly cute look and leaves the lair to get prepared for the big night.

And the way Oliver is eyeing her kills me. He looks so freaking happy. He’s like “i can’t believe i’m finally going out with Felicity Smoak!”

Gif by: no-one-seesyou-likeido

Next Week’s Prompt Theme Chosen!

Let me run you through my mental process, okay? So, while looking over the submissions I found that the four above jumped at me. You see, our culture is not new to the idea of the end of the world, or aliens being the ones looking to make extinction a thing… what made me jump was the idea of ‘Freaks of Nature’ and 'Hivemind.’

I began to think about Tyranid-like creatures invading Earth, and actually winning. What happens then? No one ever considers an apocalypse where Aliens won. It’s always radiation, or zombies, or vampires who look like zombies. Why not aliens? And then my writerly senses began tingling.

Yes. This will do.

Next week’s theme is going to be: The Aliens Won.

Thank you (so much) to everyone who participated! Don’t forget to tune-in next Saturday morning for another poll~ ♥︎

Olivia's So-Called "PTSD"

Am I really supposed to believe that Olivia has PTSD?  From what?  She had the most laidback kidnappers I’ve ever seen on TV.  She was fed regularly, allowed to go the bathroom by herself,…and later on, she was even given new clothes and her hair was done.  What is she freaking out about?  Practically the only thing that didn’t happen to her (that would've happened to any other female captive) was that she wasn’t ra–.  Oh.  I see.  If anything I thought she would be constantly reminded that she shot a guy in the head, but I guess that’s nothing compared to what should’ve but didn’t happen. 

Chasefield: Tremble

“You fucking bitch.”

I know she doesn’t expect it at all - she probably doesn’t think I even have a limit for her bullshit. But right there, I hit it.
Her eye shoot open in shock as my hand finds her sternum and her back slams into the wall. She looks down the hallway on either sides, but there’s no one coming around the corner, and by the time she thinks to cry out, my arm is pressed against her throat. She may still be able to breath, but I think she’s immediately aware of what happens if she makes a sound.

“Oh my god,” she breathes, barely above a whisper. “You really are a freak, Max.”
Her chest rises and falls rapidly under my hand, but even as she struggles, she realizes she can’t force my hand away.

“You have no idea what I am, Victoria. You’ve never known a thing about me. And that’s just really fucked with your head, huh?” I let up on her chest just enough to shove her against the wall again. “You couldn’t make me your little pet, and I’ve had to deal with all your petty vengeance.”

She’s trembling a little under my fingers, and I know a smirk must be forming on my face. The way her lips struggle to find the right things to get away, the way they purse as she swallows, trying to sound brave. It’s perfect.
“Max - what the fuck was I supposed to think? You came out of the woods fucking naked. You were either fucked up in the head or …” She trailed off, afraid to actually gesture at me.

“Well, ding ding ding, you got me. And I’ve got you.” The smirk turns into a full grin, and I think for the first time Victoria can see my incisors.

She swallows again, wetting her perfectly glossed lips. Her voice is even weaker. “What do you want, Max?”

Her heartbeat thrums like crazy underneath my fingers, her pupils are dilated, her skin is so warm I can feel it everywhere we touch. She’s afraid. This is how she wanted me for so long. She wanted to pin me however she could. But she never could. She would never tame me like she tamed this school.

She has no power to hurt me for my honesty, so I drop my arm from her throat, instead tracing a finger down the side of her neck. “Isn’t it obvious?” I almost purr. “I want you.”

There’s seconds of silence where she just breathes in and out, frozen in place, even though I’m not forcing her still anymore. Her eyes are locked on mine, but I just watch her lips, waiting for her confusion to manifest into words, or for her to finally bolt away.

That’s not what I get. Instead, she brings a hand up to my wrist, and twists it off of her. I’m so surprised at it that I don’t even resist it, and before I know it, I’m the one shoved up against the wall, Victoria’s long fingers loosely wrapped around my neck.

Then, finally, her lips form words, angry, angry words. They mirror my own.
“You’re a fucking bitch, Max.”
And I can only sneer at that.

Then her lips are on mine, firm and hot, none of that trembling anywhere. She towers over me like this, forcing my face up to hers. My hands fall to her waist, and I pull myself up straight while digging my nails into her skin. She doesn’t moan, but her breath catches as they rake down her, and as we kiss again, I bite on her lip, rolling it almost gently between my teeth.

We’re both breathless when she pulls away, although it’s just enough for us to lean our foreheads together.

“What the fuck are you?” She says, barely above a whisper.

Has she still not figured it out? I hardly feel like spoon-feeding it to her.

I snake head around the side of her face, but she doesn’t move as I plant a kiss on her neck, glistening with sweat and red from where my arm was. I let out a throaty laugh, even if it’s fake. “That’s the wrong question, Vicky.”

She offers no response, no guess at the correct question.
“The right question is: now that you know, what do you think I’m going to do to you?”

She shivers as I bite down on the tendons of her neck.