things that are actually funny on purpose

The Element EVERYTHING in Your Story Needs

To all the writers who have ever felt lost, alone, and completely confused during the labyrinthine journey that is writing anything, and felt like screaming this at your story …

There’s hope.

There’s a light at the end of that darn tunnel. First, let me describe how I used to fight my way out of these periods of confusion and hopelessness. 

Usually, I would try to force myself to get back into the groove of the story. I would reread it, and be yelling at myself in my head, “Remember why you love it! LOVE your book again! Keep reading and FALL IN LOVE, damn it!” I’d go over descriptions, bits of dialogue, banter between the characters. I’d go over settings and imagery, and try to make myself remember how much they’d once excited me. I’d read things that had made me laugh when I typed them, sentences that I was particularly proud of, paragraphs that made me feel particularly clever. But the thing was, it didn’t work. 

I didn’t care.  

What was the problem? The problem was some of those descriptions, settings, images, and witty episodes of bantering had no Story Reason to be there. They were just there because they amused me. Just because I found the imagery beautiful. Just because I found a sentence or joke really clever and wanted to share my wit with the world. But the world didn’t care about my wit. Because the world (the people reading my book) knew subconsciously that there was no story to give that so-called witty sentence substance and meaning. I could create the most breath-taking images, I could make the most well-rounded living and breathing character, I could make a setting that you wanted to run away from home and live inside … and it didn’t matter. If the thing didn’t have a purpose for being there within the narrative, nobody cared. And I didn’t either. 

So what is a Story Reason? 

Everything in a story exists to support one of three things. 

1. The A-story: The surface plot, the quest of the main character to achieve a specific tangible goal. What the story is about on the surface. 

2. The B-Story: The love story, or relationship of the thing. Usually this relationship is instrumental in causing the third element, which is …  

3. The Character Arc. The theme of the story, the purpose, the piece of truth the story seeks to prove to the main character and the audience. 

If something in a story doesn’t contribute to the progress of these three, there’s no reason we should care about it. It has no point. Because in the end, all we care about is the story!

When it comes to scenes, story reason means continuity. It means the way the story unfolds logically. If every scene is there for a darn good reason, the scenes after and before will make total sense, they’ll connect seamlessly, a steady progression of events. Every scene’s turn triggers the next scene. 

And to do this, every scene must be able to be linked with three words: Because of that.

Because of the turn of one scene … 

The next scene happens. 

And because of the turn of that scene the next scene happens.

To illustrate how this works, let’s look at a small movie you might have heard about called Zootopia. (Thanks to @inked-withlove for the movie suggestion!)

So let’s start at this point, the turn of the scene with Clawhauser and Judy searching the file on Emmitt Otterton. 

Turn: “I have a lead." 

Because of that …

Judy has to get Nick to tell her what he knows about Otterton.

Turn: It all goes poorly, and now Nick and Judy are stuck together by an incriminating adorable carrot recorder. (The B Story, the relationship, has intertwined with the A Story.)


Because of that …

Nick takes Judy to the place he saw Otterton go, a place he thinks will cause her to give up. 

Turn: She doesn’t quit, she marches right in. (B Story: Nick sounds surprised, and a little impressed, that she didn’t back down.)

Because of that … 

She has to question a rude yoga-performing elephant. 

Turn: Though the elephant is absolutely no help, the seemingly addled yak is more than helpful – he even remembers the license plate number of the car Emmitt left in. 

Because of that …

Nick thinks his part in this endeavor is complete. But Judy remembers that she’s not in the system yet, and thus can’t run a plate. Nick, however, can. And he’s going to, or else. 

Turn: It just so happens that he has a pal at the DMV. 

Because of that …

Sloths. He takes her to a DMV run by sloths and wastes as much of her precious dwindling time as he can.

Turn: “It’s night?!”

Because of that …

Legitimate Enterprise Car Service (at least that’s what it’s called in the screenplay) is closed. Judy doesn’t have a warrant and Nick is enjoying her suffering tremendously. After a spat, she tosses the carrot over the fence instead of handing it to him.

Turn: Because she has now seen a shifty low-life climbing the fence, she has probable cause, and doesn’t need a warrant. She can go in. (B Story: Nick is looking at her with more respect.)

Because of that …

They find the car and begin investigating. The car is a crime scene; claw marks everywhere, the missing otter’s wallet … and a cocktail glass etched with a "B”.

Turn: And it all adds up for Nick. This car belongs to Mr Big, a notorious crime boss. And his polar bear henchman are right outside. They grab Judy and Nick and yank them off screen. 

Because of that  …

Judy and Nick are wedged between the bear henchman, on their way to face Mr Big. 

Turn: Nick sold him a very expensive rug that happened to be made from the fur of a skunk’s butt. Or in other words, Mr Big really doesn’t like Nick.

Because of that …

They wait fearfully for Mr Big to appear, and even when he’s revealed to be a tiny shrew, Nick still launches into obsequious and panicked mode. He tries talking his way out of it, but Mr Big really REALLY doesn’t like him. And when Judy shouts at him that she’s a cop and she has evidence on him –

Turn: “Ice ‘em.”

Because of that …

“No icing anyone at my wedding!” Fru Fru Shrew is not a happy camper. Father and daughter bicker about his promise of no murder on her wedding day, and the fact that “I have to, baby. Daddy has to.” Until – 

Turn: “She’s the bunny who saved my life yesterday. From that giant doughnut!” Well, Judy is now in Mr Big’s good books. He’s going to pay her kindness forward. Nick is floored. 

I’m gonna stop there.

SO! After going through that analysis of how the scenes are linked together, let’s abandon the “everything needs a story reason to be in there” rule, and see what happens. 

After the scene where Judy and Nick reluctantly join forces, we could add a scene where Nick is trying to remember the name of the place, and where it is. Then we could have them asking around, searching the city, refusing to ask for directions, lots of banter. THEN we can finally get to The Mystic Springs Oasis.

And after they get the plate number, maybe Nick grabs the carrot pen and makes a run for it. Then we can have a chase scene, but he gets away. Then we can have Judy trying to run the plate on her own, before realizing she isn’t in the system, and failing. Then we can have a scene where she has to track down Nick again. Then a scene where she figures out how to blackmail him into it. THEN they finally get to the DMV. 

And you know what would have happened then?

Zootopia would have made everyone bored. 

All of these inserted scenes are unnecessary. Sure, they might add conflict, add complications to Judy’s quest, but they’re ultimately just filler. They’re just there for the sake of bulking out the story. This is why that tip I hear so often in writing circles always perplexes me: “Figure out the worst possible thing that can happen to your character, then do that.” If people went with this rule, they’d just keep throwing terrible things at the characters for no apparent reason, one after another, and the reader or audience would be expected to be entertained by it (but wouldn’t be). It would be like cartoons before Mickey Mouse came along and applied story to animation: before, cartoons were just gag after gag, slapstick situations mashed together like a funny video compilation. Except with books and movies, it would just be conflict-heavy situations strung together, taking an inordinate amount of time to make any actual progress.  

Once you make sure everything has a purpose within the narrative, things get so much better.  And I find, when I reread my work I don’t have to scream at myself to “love your book or else” if everything has a reason for being there. And instead of feeling like yelling at my story like an angry overworked crab, I feel a lot more like this gif.

I hope it works for you too.

The Wrath of a short woman - Bruce Wayne x Reader

So it’s late and I’m quite tired but I really wanted to write this so…Yeah. Written in 7 minutes (in two part, like I started to wrote it late at night yesterday, finished this morning), by a very tired Ella (you know I’m tired when I’m referring to myself with the third person), I hope you’ll like it, especially you @homework-is-the-real-killer

Warning : tiny bit TINY bit NSFW 

Yes I know he’s more around 6′2″/6′3″ in the comics, changed it for a few reasons, the first one because I wanted the reader to really be average sized, cause I think it’s funny that they’d all call her “short” when she really isn’t HOWEVER I’ll write a story soon with his actual height and and actual really short reader, like around 5′0″ or under :-). Boom. 

My masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com

__________________________________________________

-You can’t fight me, you’re miniature. 

As soon as those words get out of his mouth, he regrets it. Oh and by the look on your face, he knows he’s right to…

-What did you say ? 

-I mean…You…I…Hum….

The Batman is nervous. You made the Batman nervous, with your glare and the hint of danger in your eyes. You approach him. Him and his damn giant frame. 

He’s not wrong, of course. You are miniature. At least compared to him. With his 6 foot 7, he’s towering quite high above you but…he’s not entirely right. 

You can totally fight him, and oh you will.

************

You know you’re short. 

Well…That’s not exactly true. 

You know you’re short compared to your husband and sons. 

Hell, even compared to Alfred. The butler was actually quite tall. You always had to twist your neck up to look at him in the eyes while talking to him.  

Your height is actually average for a woman, but your husband is a damn giant, and your sons are too. 

Bruce is over a good foot taller than you, and so is Jason. Dick is exactly 10 inches taller, and Tim around 7. But it’s really when your youngest son, Damian, your baby, your eleven years old little boy started to rise above you of almost 2 inches that you realized that…Well, yes. 

In this family, you were a short one.  

This spurred a few teasing, and some “you’re so cute my tiny mom/wife” but nothing more (mostly because your sons and husband were afraid of your sarcasm and wits), just nice little jokes that made you feel loved for your shortness…

But you had to admit that sometimes, them being so tall and you not being a supermodel sized woman…could make things a bit awkward. 

You were thinking about that, sitting in the Manor’s library. 

About how Bruce always had to bend down to kiss you, and you had to go on your tip toes to be able to reach when he bend down. 

How when paparazzis were taking pictures sometimes you wouldn’t even be on it because they only had Bruce’s back and he was somehow shielding you with his massive frame (that, was a good thing)…

How even when you had high heels on, you still wouldn’t be tall enough. 

Keep reading

Amortentia - Drarry

summary: “Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what attracts them.”

“This reeks of your smell, Potter. How disgusting.”

“Funny you should say that, Malfoy. This, smells of you, you’re disgusting.”

words: 1785

pairing: drarry

genre: fluff

rating: t

note: inspired by a picture of a drarry prompt you could literally find everywhere.

… 

Hordes of students pushed their way through the small entrance of the cold dungeon. Potions class, it was the class most students dreaded. Even some Slytherins did, who were known to be favored by the intimidating black clad professor.

But Harry Potter had certain mixed feelings towards it. He got picked on by Snape a whole lot, if not every time the man had the chance to do so. Even if he wasn’t in the reach of being publicly humiliated. Snape was always sending such terrifying and chill inducing glares and stares.

There was a whole list of reasons on why Harry should’ve absolutely hated his class. But a certain someone somehow prevented him from using the word to describe how he felt.

Indeed, a certain someone.

Specifically someone that has platinum blond locks of hair and sharp silver eyes.

They both weren’t on very good terms, they wouldn’t consider each other friends nor acquaintances. But the pleasant warm feeling that starts to spread through Harry’s chest whenever he laid his eyes upon him was not something to be ignored.

Whether it was his unfortunate or good luck, Gryffindors always shared classes with Slytherins.

And he doesn’t know if the universe had played a sick joke on him right on this day. As he plopped down on his seat beside Ron Weasley, not to mention a minute late. The professor in front snapped at him and told him that he was not allowed to pair up with the tall ginger.

Instead, he was going to pair up with Draco.

The usual sneer on the young boy’s face dispersed when the words reached his ears. Whipping his head towards Snape in a surprised fashion, he opened his mouth to protest on his wishes but was hushed quiet.

The messy haired boy picked up his things from the wooden desk and stomped over to Draco’s direction. The other had been grumbling to himself and had his arms crossed against his chest. He refused to meet eyes with Harry, the latter doing the same for him.

Draco secretly thought that Potter wasn’t so bad. But he was a Malfoy, he had a status and reputation to uphold. Plus, Potter is a Gryffindor and he’s a Slytherin, their houses are rivals and he was not going to look pass such stereotypical labels. This was something he had grown up to believe.

That being said, Lucius Malfoy found it to be odd that his son talked so much about wonderful Potter. When he never spoke a word regarding his friends.

Harry settled on the seat beside Draco and dropped his things on top of the table with a loud thump, which elicited a look from Snape. Without acknowledging his new class partner, he looked straight ahead towards the professor with narrowed eyes.

Snape paced in front of the students and gave out instructions on what they had to do. Eventually, he halted his steps and stood facing the whole class. His gaze swept over each student, most bowed their heads down to avoid his eyes.

“I’m assuming that there are no more questions left to be asked?” He shifted his gaze towards a certain bushy haired girl who sat quietly on her seat. “Ms. Granger?”

Hermione shook her head at him and proceeded to look down at her hands on top of her lap.

Snape turned to walk towards his desk, his dark robes bellowing behind him. He spoke without sparing a glance at the students whose eyes followed his movements. “Then you shall start brewing.”

The students sprung to action immediately. Half of them reached for their text books and other half quietly observed the ingredients to know which is which.

Draco sighed and his eyes shifted to settle on the boy sat beside him.

It was the first time Draco had glanced at Harry, who was, in turn, also staring right at him. A scowl appeared on his face and his eyes narrowed down into a glare.

“Do not mess this up, Potter.”

“Shut up, Malfoy.” Harry scoffed and reached for his own text book with a frown.

Both worked quietly and refused to speak to each other for the most part of the class. Draco gibed at Harry countless of times during the entirety of their time working. Whom retaliated and spat back equally offensive insults.

In the end, they had managed to have done the first part of brewing perfectly, despite the circumstances. Neither didn’t want to admit, but they do work quite well together.

Snape walked around the room to look at everyone’s works, nodding at some and sighing in disappointment at most. At last, he reached the desk Harry and Draco occupied. His eyebrows had risen a bit, almost going unnoticeable, and he nodded his head at them.

“Well done, Mr. Malfoy.” He praised Draco, whose lips lifted into a smirk, he glanced at Harry. “And Mr. Potter, surprisingly enough.”

The latter ignored the additional comment and gave a polite nod of his head. Tempted to roll his eyes but held back as he didn’t particularly enjoy spending the rest of the week inside Snape’s office cleaning shelves.

Snape returned to his place in front, commenting on how everyone did. Not missing a beat to mention how Ron had completely ruined the cauldron he was using. The said boy flushed a deep shade of red, his face almost matching the red on his hair.

Silence filled the room when Snape stalked over to his desk to retrieve his wand inside one of the drawers. With a flick of his wand a sturdy looking table appeared with a golden cauldron sitting on top of it, spiral wisps of smoke came from the liquid inside.

Seeing the confusion in everyone’s eyes, besides Hermione Granger’s who must’ve known what it was already, he started to explain.

He walked towards the cauldron with both his arms folded behind his back. “This is a finished and perfectly brewed Amortentia. Now, I want everyone to get in a line with your pair and take a quick smell of it. Afterwards, I want you to write what it smelled like on a parchment, which you’ll have to pass.”

Draco gave a shrug of his shoulders with a smug grin and raised eyebrows while Harry looked like he couldn’t care less. They both got in line, though a small distance was kept between the two of them and the glares they shot each other cannot be missed.

Students after students walked towards the desk, each one having a smile on their faces after smelling the liquid. Everyone but Malfoy who had something different to say, after forcefully pushing Harry aside to go first.

“This reeks of your smell, Potter. How disgusting.” Malfoy grimaced after taking a quick whiff of the oddly colored liquid.

Harry glared at him at the corner of his eyes and a frown found its way onto his face. Taking a step forward towards the cauldron, he tilted his head down to try to figure out if what the other boy said was true.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, he was hit with something different. The potion smelled nothing like him, instead it smelled of the blond boy who was standing not too far from him.

Confused he turned towards Draco, he cocked his head to the side and retorted back with a small smug grin. “Funny you should say that, Malfoy. This, smells of you, you’re disgusting.”

Draco stared at him in pure confusion, a frown edging on his lips and his eyebrows scrunched together.

“Have you actually lost your sense of smell? Or are you this much of an idiot?”

Pretending to not have heard his insulting words, the raven haired boy proceeded to take steps away from him. Draco glared at his back but nonetheless followed him to the desk they shared.

Draco sat down on his chair and pulled a parchment to write the things he smelled. He purposely skipped over the part of catching the scent of Harry in the potion. Harry who was scribbling on his paper had done the same.

Both sat in silence, pieces of paper held in their hands as they waited for the others to finish their turns and for Snape to start collecting the papers.

After a while, every student had scribbled down things on their parchment. Snape had started to collect the papers, not even sparing a glance on what was written on them as his usual stoic expression remained.

He walked towards his desk and stacked the papers neatly on top of it. Turning to face the class, he talked in his usual drawl. “Now class, can anyone tell me what Amortentia is?”

A hand shot up to the air, belonging to an eager looking Hermione amidst the seated bored students. Snape’s eyes glanced over to her direction, before he nodded and called her. “Yes, Ms. Granger?”

“Amortentia, sir. The most powerful love potion that smells of what you’re attracted to.” Hermione recited in a confident voice before once again taking her seat.

Slowly, the information they received sunk in. Realization hitting the both of them like a bag of bricks.

Harry and Draco both held horror stricken faces, glued to their seats, feeling as if the world froze around them. Draco’s eyes were wide open, so was Harry’s.

Snape dismissed the class and students hurriedly jumped off from their seats. But both stayed put on their chairs.

Draco shifted in his seat to face Harry, who had done the same thing as him. The usual sneer appeared on his face, while a frown was etched on Harry’s face.

“You do not speak of this to anyone. Do you understand? No one.” Draco hissed at him, venom dripping from his voice.

Harry gritted his teeth. “We’re on the same boat, Malfoy. It’s as bad for me as it is for you. I wouldn’t dare speak of it.”

Ron and Hermione suddenly appeared behind Harry’s seated figure, both looking like his bodyguards, standing on his either sides. Draco eyes shifted upwards to look at them, he shot them a glare before abruptly standing up with his things in hand.

“You better stick to your word, Potter.” He spat bitterly before turning around and taking his leave.

Ron squinted his eyes at his retreating form and crossed his arms. Hermione looked between Harry and Draco before her eyes lingered on her friend.

“What was that, Harry?” She inquired, her gaze never leaving him.

Harry stood up and slung his bag across his back, his eyes met hers and then Ron’s. The three of them walked towards the doorway where a few of the students remained.

“It’s nothing.”

(as promised!) bonus:

Harry was sat between Fred and George Weasley who were cheerfully telling him an embarrassing story of Ron. He stretched his arm to grab his drink when he felt someone’s burning gaze on the side of his face. In a daze, he unconsciously glanced towards the Slytherin table.

Draco Malfoy was looking right at him.

The blond boy’s shoulders jolted in his obvious surprise, he quickly shifted his gaze towards another direction. He pretended to not have not been staring at the boy who lived, who had caught him right on the act.

A smile stretched Harry’s lips at the unmistakable tint of pink on Draco’s cheeks, he shook his head and a chuckle escaped him. Fred stopped at the middle of his story after noticing that Harry’s attention wasn’t on him and his brother.

George gave a pointed look towards his twin, both edged closer to Harry who was still smiling.

“What happened?” Came from George.

“You alright?” Came from Fred.

“I’m alright.” Harry hummed, his smile didn’t falter one bit and there was hint of pink on his own cheeks.

“Great, actually.”

fight-me-boi  asked:

Connor from dear Evan Hansen headcanons?

AHYESMYBOY.

Connor Murphy (random headcanons): 

  • Doesn’t drive, he was caught with weed and had his license suspended. Zoe has ‘his’ car now, and she is usually in charge of driving him around. 
  • Smart Connor, I am a firm ass believer Connor is extremely well read (made a post about his possible reads and it took off well The Connor Murphy Bookclub )
  • Might look like a cat man but doggos would be best. Something to give him purpose and responsibility. Plus constant need for attention would do well when he’s going through a low. 
  • Connor Murphy sketches. His favorite reference are birds and nature so…
  • Connor Murphy doesn’t play many video games but is pretty damn good at Smash bros. He may or may not have beaten Jared. Connor doesn’t talk about it and Jared denies ever being beaten.
  • He’s actually a really good cook, he bakes when he’s baked. (haha, I’m not funny)

PLEASE ANYONE, EVERYONE ASK ME ABOUT ALL THE DEH THINGS

Random Headcanons for MTMTE

Y'all really liked the tfp ones so I thought why not. SORRY FOR ANYONE THAT LIKED THE FIRST ONE LMAO.

Rodimus is pretty good at singing, he’s got a nice voice and it’s pleasant on the ears/receptors, but he’s really good at rapping. It surprises everyone, including himself.

Drift, obviously, does yoga, but because he’s so bulky he has to avoid certain positions. He also loves flower crowns and you bet your ass if he found some large enough on a planet he’d wear them.

Ultra Magnus actually really likes nicknames people give him that are actually nice, and some of the meaner ones because they’re so damn funny, but he’d never admit to this due to his image. His favorite is Mags.

Megatron likes classical music, but I also think he has a guilty pleasure both for heavy metal, like Led Zeppelin, and classic rock, like KISS.

Rung doesn’t keep just snacks in those little pockets and spaces of his, he keeps other things for therapeutic purposes. Such as; Dolls, stress balls of all sizes, different iPod like things with music programmed on them for specific bots, yes they are labeled with the correct bots name. Red Alert has his own on him, but Rung still has a copy on his person just in case. He has /thousands/ of extra, blank ones in his office.

Ratchet pretends it’s a pain in his aft, but he actually likes the things Drift gives him and keeps them in a box in his habsuite.

Chromedome and Rewind really do want to settle down and take care of a sparkling or just be a family, especially Rewind. Neither are particularly vocal about this.

As we all know Swerve isn’t actually as confident as he makes himself out to be, sometimes he cries himself into recharge and sometimes Skids catches him. They spend a good hour or so together with Skids just letting him talk or lean on him, or whatever Swerve needs, Skids is there for him.

I like to think Whirl is actually a big softy sometimes, even though he’s really not that soft. That being said, sometimes, in little ways, he tries to help Cyclonus with his self-destructive habits like clawing his face. These little ways include telling him things like “Those marks on your face look stupid, you should fix them.” “Maybe you should dull those claws, they’re not as ‘aesthetic’ as you think.” It’s always insulting.

On the subject of Cyclonus, he’s whole heartedly afraid of loving Tailgate, not because he doesn’t think he can or because he feels Tailgate doesn’t feel the same, but because Tailgate deserves someone better. This has been touched on a bit in the comic, I think. But I think this also translates into trying to find someone worthy of Tailgate.

Tailgate’s legs sometimes won’t move correctly, stiff and locked is the best way to describe the way they do move. It’s scary for him and he might start to panic and sometimes bots notice and that’s why he’s so often on someone else’s shoulders.

Skids is really in tune with how others feel, but especially with how Swerve is feeling. Sometimes he won’t say anything, but sometimes he’ll straight beat someone if they’ve hurt Swerve. He might end up in the brig.

First Aid has nightmares about shooting Pharma and sometimes has to take Rung’s iPod for him so he can get to sleep.

Ambulon picks at his paint out of a nervous habit and sometimes scratches it too.

Red Alert often uses his iPod at night because HOLY FRAG YOU FUCKERS ARE GROSS AND LOUD SHUT. UP.

Ok so yesterday I wore this shirt right. It says in rainbow writing “Girls Love Girls and Boys”, but I tied it up to where the only words visible were “Girls Love Girls”. Not really a big deal I thought. It was cute and I felt confident in it.

Well the county Ilive in is pretty open and full of some really nice accepting people (most of them are republicans but the cool republicans that aren’t like OMG HOW DARE YOU ISNCUIDBEBW HXUCBBEJSUDBD AAAAAAAAAAAH)). However yesterday I spent the day with my cousin.

The county she lives in is full of rednecks and isn’t the most inclusive county in Georgia. But hey I didn’t really think anything of it and it honestly didnt cross my mind.

She and I had to go run some errands for her mother in law and went grocery shopping and stuff. Well first we went to food depot. Quite literally the moment I stepped in almost everyone, employee and customer alike, stopped what they were doing and stared at us walking in. I thought “hey, maybe I look that cute today that I’m turning heads,” until my cousin pointed out what my shirt said and reminded me what county we were in. I just waved it off and dismissed the idea witha laugh.

After that we left and ran a few more errands. Well turned out we forgot some stuff at food depot so we went back, only for work to halt once more. We ignored it and continued to walk around until one of the employees walked up to us and started talking to us. The conversation went a bit like this.

Him: “Hey you two are back!”

My cousin: “yeah we forgot a few things so we came back.”

Him: “yeah I recognized the…. Uh… Black shirt.” Proceeds to realize we are both wearing black shirts. “I mean the…. Uh…. The uh…. Gay shirt.”

I have never…. NEVER wanted to break down laughing so hard in my life. Instead I let out a small giggle and replied with a yeah I figured I would show some pride today.

Well after food depot we ran into family dollar (not without me almost killing my cousin with my jokes about ruining family values single handedly with my shirt). As we’re walking in two older women are walking out and, me being the person I am, went to hold the door for her. On of the women smiled at me and thanked me but then prpceeded to stop in the doorway, read me shirt, look at me and with a huge smile say “what a sweet lesbian.”
Y'all…. I had to hold my laughter until we got in the store and dear god…. I could not breathe y'all. My cousin and I were actually dying from lack of oxygen from laughter.

Needless to say I am going to wear this shirt whenever I come to visit her for the soul purpose of causing more mayhem and funny comments.


I want to make it clear that the only hateful/disrespectful things that happened in this shirt were grown ass men looking at me like a piece of meat which resulted in my cousin almost commuting murder, but I didn’t get any disrespect for showing pride. Everyone else was very kind. There were just some really funny reactions that I felt like sharing.


HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!

On one hand I am slightly annoyed at how a lot of posts about Robert depict him as this goofy over-the-top tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist when it’s pretty clear in-game that he’s actually really somber and mostly just tells people outrageously crazy stories to fuck with them and amuses himself by seeing just how gullible people are while being totally aware that none of it is legit (as evidenced by the fact that calling him out on his bullshit stories is one of the best ways to make him like you), plus two or three times where he outright admits the whole thing is an act


But on the other hand….it’s fucking funny

3

I don’t know if this was just me, but whenever there is a character like Yosuke (Persona 4) or Ryuji (Persona 5) that are usually there for comedy purpose, I like to make a deeper headcanon/theory about them. Everytime I would hang out with Ryuji or if he would be around I would always look at his interactions with others and I would always notice how everyone is constantly calling him stupid or something like that so I made a headcanon about Ryuji actually being depressed. He was always a really happy and funny character, but many people who suffer from depression are like that too and I liked to thing he wear that as a mask.
Even if he gets angry when someone calls him stupid I think he uses that to hide it hurt him, he would maybe later go home and sit there thinking about it, but he still doesn’t complain because Phantom Thief’s is the only light he has now and he doesn’t want to scare them away with it.
I just like to think that he’s in a similar situation like Shiho, Mishima and Futaba, but he just doesn’t show it thinking he’ll be a bother and maybe one day he’ll snap.
I thought this was a possibility because he’s such a sweet person down inside and he’s my favourite because of it.

This was just my dumb headcanon I made for fun and it’s fine if you don’t like it.

Favorite First Lines

I love good opening lines. It’s almost funny to look back on an old favorite and see what the first sentence actually was. Sometimes it feels fitting that that was how the book began, or it shows some lofty purpose the book was intended for. Either way, here are a few I love to spark some inspiration. 

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super-virgin│l.h

credit to orginal owner of this gif

Requested: no

Pairing: Luke x Reader

Series: The Purpose of Love - Bittersweet Generation

Description: Y/N accidently spills her biggest secret to a well-known stranger and it ends up getting a bit heated than intended.

The TV was on. Muted, but it was turned on. It was the first thing Calum had done as soon as you had walked into the room with your friend. He had turned on the TV and muted it as if no one were actually going to look at the giant screen. And no one did. Everyone started to talk, instantly.

It was a funny scene if you thought about it. Five people seated around a coffee table with snacks and a muted TV. Three of those people were famous - Calum Hood, Luke Hemmings and Michael Clifford - and the fourth of those five was your out-going friend who seemed to know everyone in the city of Los Angeles.

And then there were you. The quiet, anti-social and smart girl. The girl who liked the rain more than the sun, the girl who liked the book more than the movie, the girl who liked the calls more than the texts. That girl was you.

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anonymous asked:

Can I ask why you didn't like tom's sketch?

it just wasn’t funny to me!!!! idk, the jokes were like ridiculously over the top and unfunny bc of that, i thought dan’s role seemed like a last minute addition or something, his character was completely superfluous and unnecessary for the overall plot to happen (and his jokes were just v stale trope-y things from a guy famous for being super Relatable™ and Awkward™) and also i just didn’t get the point of the whole thing in general? why the casual groping of the woman??? why the constant harassment w dumb pick up lines? idk, like, if the joke is “ha ha ha look at me i’m awkward and idk how to talk to women” … i’m not impressed. what is funny about that? if the purpose is to be like “this is how NOT to pick up a woman” well uh,, wtf is the point of acting out the things u r trying to say are harmful/bad? idgi hahaha. i mean comedy is subjective, and i appreciate that tom seemingly went thru a ton of trouble getting this sketch out and the script had to be re-written a bunch, but this resulting product was so dull and at times actually irritating to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

♡lion-squad’s Klance Fanfic Rec♡

As of January 6th 2017, these are my all time favorite klance fanfics. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did <3

My Top Favs™ (aka so good I cry thinking about them):

You Never Stood A Chance by Kagoshima

lance to hunk ♡
>i’m gonna fukin die hunk oh mygod i sent
>keith a work out selfie that i wan supposed to fcukin send to you and you know what it said
>”BET YOU WANNA LICK THESE NIPS”
>HUNK I WILL NEVE BE ABLE TO FCE HIM AGAIN I WANT TO DI E

(Or, Keith is beautiful, Lance has a crush, and there’s lots of shirtless selfies)

Pepsi cola- by stalemateBecks

It starts like this: Lance looking up at the scoreboard only a few days into his Garrison training and muttering to himself, “What the hell kind of a name is Keith?”

I can’t help but want- by aknightly

Lance deals with the aftermath of being sucked into a black hole and stranded on an alien planet. When Lance wakes up, all he can see is blue.

Cause you’re learning me(WIP)- by Safra

Here’s what Lance knows about his mysterious flatmate:

1. His name is Kevin. Or Keith. Or something like that.
2. He’s studying astrophysics which, honestly, is pretty cool.
3. He doesn’t know how to use the washing machine.
4. He can’t cook. Like— At all.
5. And— Well. And that’s about all Lance knows about the mysterious Kevin/Keith because, after nearly two months of living together - after almost two months of sharing a bathroom and a kitchen and all the other things that come with being flatmates - Lance has never, not even once, actually seen him.

Call me beep me- by Safra 

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes could very easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck???
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!

where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

The little things- by fairietailed

On Friday Hunk can hear the two of them behind him as they walk to the control room, and he swears he hears something akin to a kiss, and Keith whispering.“That’s 10-7, Cargo Pilot. Try catching up.”

When Hunk turns around Lance is bright red, and there’s a foot of space between him and Keith. Or maybe he’s imagining things?

Nightmares- by trashness

Lance’s nightmares are getting out of control. It’s effecting his and the team’s performance, but he’s at a loss for how to fix this.Apparently sleeping next to a warm body helps.

In a hundred lifetimes (I’d find you and I’d choose you)- by ashtxns

It happens to him and he’s alright with that. But ever since Keith started appearing in the other versions, Lance can’t help but think that the universe is trying to tell him something.

Or, Lance travels to different versions of his life. The only constant is Keith.

Sight for sore eyes- by Writewild

Photographer!Lance’s deadline for the magazine he works on the side for is coming up really soon, and has to search last-minute photo opportunities soon. One boy catches his eye.

Altea school of witchcraft and wizardry (WIP)- by yeah_no_sorry

Some kids go to Altea (magic school) and learn a lot about both themselves and each other as they struggle through magical homework, detention, and battling the dark wizard Zarkon and his evil forces. (Harry Potter!AU)

The bruises and contusions will remind me what you did when you wake(SERIES)- by asexualrey                                                                              a series of one shots centered around the paladins and hurt/comfort

You Don’t Wanna Be AloneThe very last thing Keith wants is for anyone to make a big deal over this when he’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

My Head is Dizzy NowAllura had better get there soon. He doesn’t want to be responsible for Lance dying just because he’s completely useless.

Weak linkThe one thing he always wants when he doesn’t feel well is his mom, and she’s…god knows how far away she is. She probably thinks he’s dead.
In this moment, he almost wishes he was.


Other really good ones I like:

Whiskey (part ½ of Whisky)(smut)- by Redburn

What’re you drinking?” the sultry voice asked.

Keith glanced up, momentarily shocked into silence. The guy - not even kidding - was fucking stunning.

champagne supernova (part 2/2 of whisky)(not smut)- by Redburn

Keith tries to ask Lance to marry him. Then he tries to ask him again. And then he tries again-By the forth time he’s pretty sure the universe is just fucking with him now.

The greater enemy- by genericfanatic

Lance is displeased when he finds out his crush and childhood friend is dating Takashi Shirogane. Keith is displeased when he finds out his foster brother is dating Princess Allura. Both are equally displeased that this means they end up having to live together. So they decide to do something about it.

In the silence of a safe place- by sassively

When it all gets to be too much, Lance stops time. Keith stays with him until Lance feels ready to start the world again.

And I’ll keep you a daydream away- by ashtxns

But, I mean, y’know, am I gay for Keith? You – Wait. What?”

He stares at the camera.

“Oh my God. I am gay for Keith.” (parks and rec! Au)

Found in translation- by princevince

Lance and Keith are on a stargazing date in the Castleship’s smallest observation deck. The stars help to shed some light on a few things.

Squeezing my heart- morvish

5 times they kissed, and 1 time they talked about it.

Alternatively: Lance and Keith don’t start off with the best communication strategy.

3 words or less- by fairietailed

Keith,” Pidge says, resting their elbow on the table and their chin on the palm of their hand. “Describe Lance in three words or less.”

“Who?

”Lance lets out a squawk of protest. “What are you even talking about?! You know exactly who I am!”

Keith doesn’t look at him. “I’m unfamiliar with the name.”

Sweet quiznak- checkeredcloth

You’re really into him,“ Hunk mutters, and wow, Lance’s face is on fire. Hunk is killing him.”

Look, read into how you like, Freud, just make sure that if I die Keith knows I totally would’ve mowed his ass like grass. That way, I can laugh hysterically at his emotionally-constipated expression from the afterlife.“

Or: Lance is badly injured and has a few skeletons in his closet. Or maybe just the one.

Eyes wide to you with wonder- aknightly

Keith doesn’t dislike his job, but he definitely dislikes Lance. Probably. Maybe.

“Coran thinks you’ll bang at the Christmas party but I think that’s giving you guys way too much credit,” Pidge says thoughtfully. “Hunk is a romantic. He thinks Lance is gonna ask you out any day now. I think he’s got a week or so before he owes me like a hundred bucks.”

“Pidge, what the fuck?” Keith says, flustered. He nudges them again with his foot, this time slightly harder. They scowl at him, swatting him away. “Why would you bet on me and Lance?”

Cut from the same stubborn cloth- by genericfanatic

Keith is keeping a secret from Lance. Shiro knows everyone looks up to him, but doesn’t feel that he deserves it. They both feel that they’ve been hurting their loved ones.

We don’t need to keep it hush- by jojotxt

snuggle muffin (6:38): haha i know right
snuggle muffin (6:38): i love you too

Pidge’s eyes widened, and she audibly gasped. No fucking way.

Bottle episode- themoistplinth

Everyone is sick of Keith and Lance’s constant bickering yet they still insist that they’re friends. The gang bet that Keith and Lance couldn’t spend three days locked in a room together without hurting each other, and they’re not entirely wrong

All we have to do- by aknightly

Keith gets hurt during a mission, and Lance is not sure how to handle that.

Lance wakes up on the floor outside of the medical bay, jerking wildly, body a mess of aches and twinges.

(UPDATE: now with links and descriptions!)

anonymous asked:

google jay smooth "how to tell someone they sound racist." you focused on "they ARE homophobic" and derail the entire conversation bc of it. now the video is focused on strategy to avoid pitfalls with an 'adversary', but i want your takeaway to be YOU are doing this to the internal queer convo too. 'phobic actions vs h'phobe not imp distinction to me, but YOU are making it the most important. just as focused as str8 ppl on labeling the incident instead of fixing problems.

It took me a while to get to this ask, so the context has changed a bit.

I think now, if you’re on tumblr at all, you probably know that Melissa is very actively being called homophobic. 

People aren’t just saying “this action was homophobic” but “Melissa Benoist is a homophobe.”

When I initially prepared for this ask (I hadn’t watched the video so I couldn’t respond just yet, but I wrote a couple points and saved it as a draft) people were already saying this, but you might not have seen it.

People were saying it initially, before I had time to even wrap my head around the issue. 

So I could have been addressing these comments. I could have been saying “these comments don’t make Melissa homophobic!”

I could have been thus replied to you, “I didn’t derail the conversation to if the cast is homophobic, they did!” or something of the like.

But the truth is, it’s a different matter entirely.


I understand that saying “they’re not homophobic” after a homophobic statement is missing the point, and often shifts the blame from the person who said the homophobic statement to the person who is telling them that they did. They’re ‘attacking their character’.

And you saw me discussing Melissa and Jeremy’s intensions, and perhaps thought I was saying something along the lines of “They’re not homophobic, so they can’t say homophobic things!” or even just, “What, are you saying they’re homophobic???? That’s not true!”

But neither hit the mark.

I already hold the belief that someone can say something mildly homophobic without the “label” of homophobe really applying to them and without them necessarily being bad people. 

So I’d probably be making that point if I thought they said something mildly homophobic.

But I don’t think they did.

And I already know that people who have no ill will toward gay people can say and believe homophobic things.

The difference is, my assessment of this situation is that the appearance of the homophobia in the phrase, “They’re not gonna get together, they’re only friends” depends on what the speakers were thinking when they said it.

i.e. There is nothing innate in that phrase or it’s delivery, when separated from intent, that is homophobic.


The first thing you need to realize is that every accusation of homophobia from someone who is gay is not necessarily accurate.

Gay people have a wildly better understanding than straight people of what homophobia is, and should always be trusted and listened to, but every gay person is not always going to be right about this. This is why, within our own community, we’re arguing about this. We, as gay people, do not have an infallible understanding.

So now, let me propose a scenario in which something is interpreted as homophobic, but is not actually homophobic:

Someone walks in on their friend making out with someone of the same gender, and very emphatically exclaims, “gross!”

The gay friend, who hadn’t yet told their friend that they’re gay, reasonably supposes that this is in response to the kissers both being the same gender. It’s not the first time they’ve gotten this reaction to making out with the same gender, and it really just makes them feel like utter shit.

Later, the gay friend confronts their friend for saying that her making out with someone of the same sex is “gross.”

The friend then explains that they weren’t saying it as a response to them being the same gender, but because they see the gay friend like a sibling, and witnessing them making out with someone was gross for that reason. 

They’re sorry it stirred up bad feelings in the gay friend (and probably should have realized that they might feel this way in the first place and then controlled their reaction), but they claim that they didn’t actually say anything homophobic.

But a gay person’s feelings were hurt because they’re gay and because of the larger state of society, and ‘people can say homophobic things without intending to’, so it can be confusing to people who are trying to figure out if the instance was, in fact, homophobic.

So if you’re still not convinced, let’s change the friend’s response to the confrontation.

Instead of “you’re like my sibling,” the friend says, “I’m a sex-repulsed asexual, so that kind of stuff really grosses me out.”

Pretty clearly just a misunderstanding, right? Calling the instance homophobic would seem pretty of out of touch with what happened.

So in these two kissing scenarios, the initial reaction of the friend to the kiss was the same, the feelings of the gay person after hearing the reaction were the same, the greater context in society was the same, and neither the ‘sibling’ friend nor the ace friend said “gross” because the kiss was between two people of the same gender.

So why is one so clearly a misinterpretation of what happened and the other still a difficult question to answer? What’s the real difference? What changed?

…Your trust.

You’re reasonably sure that the ace friend isn’t lying about being ace and you’re reasonably sure that the ace friend really knows their own feelings about the situation. That they didn’t say “gross” because they don’t like gay people and then misinterpret their own feelings as something else.

But with the non-ace friend, those doubts still lurk.

What changed was your interpretation of if the friend might have had homophobic thoughts.

If they did say “gross” because they don’t like seeing two people of the same gender kiss, even if they didn’t really mean to offend anyone, even if they don’t think that “not wanting it in their face” is homophobic, the instance was homophobic.

If they said “gross” and it had nothing whatsoever to do with the kissers being gay, it wasn’t.

In this situation, intention doesn’t matter, the not-gay friend’s opinion of what thoughts are homophobic doesn’t matter, but whether or not the friend has thoughts that are homophobic, does.

Of course, which thoughts concerning gay people are homophobic is not for straight people to decide.

Straight people don’t get to say, “Not wanting to see two girls kiss isn’t homophobic!”

But a straight person is allowed to say, “Not wanting to see my friend make out with someone isn’t homophobic,” because there is no conception or opinion of gay people involved.

Now, if there were other signs that pointed to the straight friend not liking gay people, one might conclude that the sibling thing is a cover.

But the nature of the event is still dependent upon if the person in question has homophobic thoughts.

Essentially: We get to decide what kinds of thoughts about gay people are homophobic, but we can’t always tell if someone actually thinks those thoughts. 

We can determine that the thought, “two girls kissing is gross” is homophobic, but not whether or not someone has thought it.

And thus, because communication is complicated, certain phrases and actions can be read to mean something homophobic, but actually mean something entirely unrelated to same-gender attraction.

And this brings me to the situation at hand.

People have been interpreting the yelling of “They’re only friends! They’re only friends! They’re not gonna get together, they’re only friends.” as “You’re ridiculous for thinking that two women should be together.”

But that is a thought that is not actually expressed.

No ideas about the concept of wlw or wlw pairings were actually said. 

All that was definitely said was that Lena and Kara aren’t going to get together.

There are interpretations of the event that give it a tint of homophobia. Such as the theory that the shout-y way it was said was their backlash to being uncomfortable with wlw content.

But it’s just a theory. We can’t call the actual event homophobic without knowing the truth.

And my personal read of the situation goes like-

Jeremy was responding to the crazy amount of attention the fanbase has given this romantic pairing that they’re not actually trying to make in a possibly frustrated (and attempting to be funny through purposeful over-reaction) manner. I also think the fact that he was putting on a show added to his urge to over dramatically yell something. I can kinda picture him doing the same thing to a different plot line that isn’t going to happen but is discussed non-stop, though I don’t think a similar situation would be very likely to occur for him to react to.

Melissa didn’t bring it up, and I don’t really see any hidden meanings in her going along with the perceived harmless joke. To me, it looked like she joined in with ‘We’re only friends!’ to play along in kind of a “I’m Kara and people keep asking me if I’m dating Lena but I’m not, GOSH,” way.

Later when they discussed the backlash Jeremy would get, they thought the fans would be angry because their ship wouldn’t be canon like any fans for ships that don’t work out are, not because the fans would think they’re homophobic. How utterly they missed that possibly just affirms, to me, that they weren’t even thinking of it that way- “this is a gay pairing”.

Plus there’s just no way they’d yell that in an interview if they legitimately thought that the ship being two women was weird. If you have ideas that are obviously not ’politically correct’ you know that they aren’t politically correct and are careful with how you present them.


The point is, that if (as we have established) the homophobia of the moment depends on if they had homophobic thoughts, if we don’t know that they did have homophobic thoughts, and if there are other reasonable explanations for their behavior, why is the default to assume that they were being homophobic?

The way I see it, we have absolutely no reason to consider this moment, or Jeremy and Melissa themselves, to be homophobic. 

was-psychoticwesninski  asked:

So I scrolled through your ENTIRE Kayleigh lives au tag and at some point you said Riko and Nathaniel bicker a lot and Jean and Kevin have to occasionally separate their smols- and I know it was meant to be semi-serious actual fighting but all I can picture is them fighting about the best things. "You are not buying those Nathaniel" "Riko shut up they're combat boots just like yours-" "yeah but they aren't /real/ there's a zipper" "I'm not spending five fucking hours lacing them oh my god-" +

//// “did you seriously buy the blue hat” “Riko-” “the raven colors are red and black Nathaniel WHY IS YOUR HAT BLUE GIVE IT-” //// “we should surprise Kevin for his birthday with Jeremy Knox” “for what purpose” “to watch him have a stroke” “Nathaniel I actually want Knox on our court-” “-but it would be so funny-” “-and he would /never speak to us again we have a reputation/” //// - “I want Andrew Minyard” “he’s already on our team?” “Riko” “oh-… nathaniel you should totally do that” “are you using reverse psychology?” “No what-” cause it isn’t working" “damn”

>> The Kayleigh Lives AU <<

OMG all of these are GOLDEN thank you so much (and i’m with Nathaniel for the combat boots lmao i don’t even untie my sneakers’ laces do u think i have time for combat boots laces–)

Also. On the subject of the smols arguing. Please consider:

Exy European Championships

There’s no mercy in this household

Batman Rogues - Bowling Night

So yeah, I ended up going bowling with friends yesterday and I just came up with this scenario when I got home. Just something silly and fun to think about ^v^

- The whole thing is the Joker’s idea of course, with the excuse that he wants to ‘mix things up’ from their usual occasional villain team-up/card night. The others pretty much just go along with it because refusing isn’t worth the trouble when it comes to the Joker.

- After about fifteen minutes of arguing, the group decides to get two large pizzas, a personal-sized anchovy pizza for Penguin, a basket of fries, and three pitchers of drinks (at least one of those pitchers belongs solely to Killer Croc). They get their food free of charge, of course.

- When they get to the alley, the Joker purposely gets shoes that are at least two sizes too big for him. While there, he makes plenty of bowling puns and likes to distract the other villains when it’s their turn (especially if it’s during one of the final frames of the game). He’s also the kind of guy who laughs when someone accidentally drops their ball or slips on the lane.

- Harley probably has the most fun out of all of them, just sitting back and enjoying the music and conversation. She’s also the type of player who will just throw her ball without aiming really and still hit most, if not all, of the pins. She also tends to use her hammer to help knock down any wobbly pins.

- Killer Croc tends to throw the ball a lot. If it weren’t for the fact that the alley’s managers were all scared of them, he probably would have gotten the group kicked out before they even finished their first game.

- Scarecrow is able to perfectly calculate the force, speed and angle needed to get a perfect strike each time. …Unfortunately for him, he lacks the actual physical skills to actually put the calculations into action, which frustrates him to no end.

- *after Two-Face gets his twelfth 7-10 split of the night* “…You know, Harv, normally I’d call this funny. Hilarious, even! But considering who’s throwing the ball, I’m starting to think you’re just doing it on purpose.” (When he’s not getting splits, Two-Fave can usually get a strike, so his scores are pretty even with Harley Quinn)

- Because of his webbed hands, Penguin has to do that thing where you crouch down and roll the ball with both hands instead of using the finger holes. His score is still better than Scarecrow’s.

- Riddler only plays one round before getting bored and deciding to spend the rest of the night in the bowling alley’s arcade. By the time the others have finished playing, he’s beaten every arcade game there. Twice.

- Of course Batman eventually shows up, but when he sees that they aren’t really doing anything wrong, he lets them finish their game before trying to take them back to Arkham. He also secretly gives the bowling alley enough money to make up for any lost revenue/property damage.

biggu-bossu-aru  asked:

whats the sea pyramids purpose/ thing what makes it special other than looking funny?

She’s supposed to fill the role battleships used to hold, shore bombardment/amphibious landing fire support, with a combination of guns, the biggest put on any modern warship today at 155mm, and a ridiculous amount of land-attack missiles, at 80 vertical launch cells capable of housing up to one missile each (although AA missiles for self-defense have to be carried, so the actual number is smaller), and so her gorgeous hull shape stems from the need of remain as much of a hard target to lock on as possible, since in her role she has to be closer to the shore than any other warship in a normal naval combat scenario.

the signs as people i know
  • aries: kind of cool but usually has a superiority complex. love arguing. i've had a crush or something close to one on every aries i know i think. they're super passionate about the things they love! and i think they seem to be very mature.
  • taurus: i always get close to them (and then they hurt me lol). they're usually really easy going people, but getting them angry is a no. self centred way of thinking when they're upset. the first boy i ever fell in love with was a taurus and he was so cool and he loved music and working out. was obviously pretty insecure. and one of my best friends is a taurus and he can make me angry like no one else on this planet. the stubborn stereotype is very true. bottle things up often. but yea when they're in a good mood they're so chill and just love to feel full of love and life. creative.
  • gemini: so many conflicting feelings about these guys. one of my best friends is a gemini and he's so funny and smart! and just generally a sweet kid who loves people and life. but he's also insensitive when it comes to his humour sometimes. my grandma was a gemini and i loved her with all my heart but after she died i found out she was very manipulative. and then when i was in a relationship, a gemini guy kind of wiggled his way into my heart and he was really kind and sweet but ruined my first relationship ever aha. gemini's definitely love up to the "two-faced" stereotype for me, but not necessarily in a bad way. it's just that you don't get to see all of their sides. they have big plans and they love to learn. they're wise and somehow always know the right thing to say (to me at least)!!
  • cancer: again, very conflicted about these signs. the first boy who ever had a crush on me was a cancer. he was very troubled and addicted to drugs already in elementary school. but he was wise in a way and very emotional. actually all cancer boys i know are very troubled. they're insecure but they hide it by being weird on purpose. the cancer girls i know are very sweet. i have a giant crush on one, she's very shy and soft but really funny. both of the cancer girls i know are funny and have nice senses of style! and they're just sweethearts. they're also easily distracted and don't like school.
  • leo: ugh. i'm biased here because my ex was a leo. she was a lot. i think all leo's i know are just /a lot/. not in a bad way but if you get involved with them they're going to be a big part of your life, they won't be background characters. very generous people. most of them that i know are very conscious of their outward appearance, and work to create aesthetics for themselves. opinionated but open minded.OH and one of my very sweet internet friends is a leo, she's funny and charismatic and creative! i think leos like to share what their world looks like through art?
  • virgo: hey it's me. i know like 4 other virgos though. they're all very likeable people. virgos can be either introverted or extroverted but they give off the same vibe either way? usually teachers favourites, even if they don't mean to be. they just seem easier for adults to approach than other teenagers for some reason? also they are really clever at getting out of things they don't want to do. usually a lot of people know their name but don't really /know/ them. they putter at small tasks when nervous. messy rooms but like everything else to be tidy.
  • libra: two of my best friends are libras! they're TOTALLY natural flirts omg they love it. very very funny. quick thinker. hates making people upset at /them/ but isn't the most sympathetic person and can be blunt. little bit of a victim complex, but that's really how things feel to them. hates stupid people. obsessed with love and relationships and feeling wanted. things are very black and white until it's about them self. super sweet when they want to be. they like writing and always have a lot of ideas! and they get really dedicated to the things they're interested in.
  • scorpio: my brother and my best friend's sister are scorpios. also a few people i know in school. they're funny. the boys are very sensitive, maybe the girls are too but they don't show it as much. thinking before acting? they don't know her. they have wicked smiles. like to make people feel stupid. they do not ever get embarrassed!
  • sagittarius: tbh i only know two of u. had a crush on both but didn't know them toooo well. they're really funny! and passionate. also really chill unless you insult someone they love? honestly they just love to have a good time! sorry that this ones short :(
  • capricorn: one of my kind of close friends is a capricorn. she's super strange and she has adhd. she used to be bullied a lot and i stood up for her but then she turned around and bullied me? we were still tight though. she is super passionate about about gymnastics and hairstyling and that's what she dedicates her entire life to. in high school we became better friends with no bullying involved and im honestly just so proud of her for continuing to work hard through all of her struggles. also she's a hoe and has a lot of fun with that. opinionated and mature in a unique way. like they aren't gonna do stupid embarrassing shit so they're mature like that, yet childish when it comes to controlling them self and understanding their own emotions
  • aqaurius: my parents are both aqaurius and my ex best friend was one and a boy i was in love with was one and one of my close pals is one. passive aggressive as FUCK. major god complex. awful senses of humour but they're still funny. emos cuz they feel like they're different than other people, and they usually are. theyre cool and inspire me. afraid of real emotions but they feel a lot of them. probably have had an encounter with a ghost or UFO
  • pisces: you little fuckers. i can't meet a pisces without getting a crush on them. they're soft. very unique compared to the people they hang with. they have huge beautiful minds and you will feel SO special when you get to witness their thoughts.honestly just the cuddliest looking people. thinking about them hurts my heart. i think my soul mate is probably a pisces. they probably love music and sunrises.
please think about ushiwaka trying to seduce tsukki
  • ok so he totally has a crush on karasuno’s cute first year that blocked him
  • his teammates are trying to be encouraging but let’s face it the wide majority of them have prolly never come within 100 ft of a romance the only thing they can bank on is that karasuno’s salty french fry probs hasn’t either
  • everybody knows abt the crush. ushijima cannot be trusted to keep secrets.
  • tendou
  • T E N D O U
  • he’s so unhelpful it’s not even funny. he’s unhelpful on purpose ofc, but even when he’s actually trying to be a good pal he’s still no help.
  • the only thing that ushijima gets is that he needs to be subtle about his affections (his teammates were actually trying to let him know that he can be too intense sometimes and that can come across wrong)
  • (unfortunately even ushi’s subtle is rather intense)
  • every single one of ushijima’s flirtations comes off sounding like a threat
  • it’s his face
  • and his eyebrows
  • and his frown
  • and his… him-ness
  • “I hope your finger has healed. It would be a shame if you never played again. I enjoyed your playing.” *glaring and pushing tsukki against a wall*
  • tsukki legitimately thought he was gonna be killed for a good month
  • he tries giving tsukki a revised version of the “good soil” speech and is lowkey trying to compliment him. tsukki pauses for five seconds before going “ did u just dead ass compare me to dirt?”
  • “… no it was… a metaphor…”
  • tsukki leaves
  • hinata’s actually the one who figures it out and is like “um ushijima-san do you maybe have a crush? on tsukishima????”
  • “yes but please do not tell him. i am being subtle.”
  • ok but tsukishima’s not a moron. it took him a bit because he’s never been flirted with like this and tbh ushi’s just really really bad at flirting but he did still figure it out before hinata. thing is that tsukki is also very good at the art of Living in Denial. he hopes that if he pretends hard enough that the problem doesn’t exist that it will actually cease existing.
  • meanwhile ushijima keeps leaving him notes scribbled on volleyballs in his gym bag
  • ushijima keeps using weird metaphors to try to convey his love
  • tsukishima keeps leaving before he gets to finish talking about good dirt
  • it’s a disaster
What I Want People Without ADHD To Understand About ADHD...

1. I don’t do things for the obvious reason.

Your mind goes A, B, C, D. Mine goes B, 5, X, cucumber. Don’t try to guess my motivations because you’ll get it wrong and I won’t know how to correct you.

2. I’m deeper than I seem.

My hyper appearance always makes me look superficial. I’m not. I’m a deep thinker.

3. I don’t know how to say my thoughts.

I speak brokenly. Punctuated with “uh, um, like” , and mumbled segments, I speak too fast and rarely communicate what I mean. It’s frustrating.

4. I do not overreact or underreact. I process things wrong.

My brain doesn’t understand the hierarchy of reactions, which is why I’ll calmly talk about how my friend completely dissed me, and then freak out for hours if I get a C on a paper.

5. I feel more than you do.

Are you distracted by humming lights? Will a leaf blowing across your peripheral vision break your train of thought? When was the last time you had to unplug your phone because it was making too much noise while charging? Right now, there’s a clock ticking somewhere, and it isn’t in my room.

6. You will never see things the way I do.

And I’ll never see things the way you do.

7. It’s not on purpose.

I jump from conversation to conversation. I interrupt or ignore by accident. I’m sorry.

8. I have static in my head.

You know those ADHD tests that ask if there is static or “noise” in your head? That’s not a trick. Some of us do have actual static.

9. My thoughts are truly distracting.

When I try to sleep, I hear music in my head that’s so loud it hurts my ears. I’m serious. It’s not even funny.

10. I’m good at a lot. I’m not “lucky,” it really just levels the playing field.

If I was at your level of brain power, I would not function. All of it would be spent on the little focus I have now. I’m wicked smart, yeah. I also couldn’t organize anything if I wanted too and paying attention in class…well…anywhere…

Art of Living (Plot)

I’m going to probably revisit this one day as a real fic, but right now, I don’t believe in myself at all to get this thing done. I really liked this idea and didn’t want it to die, so here is the plot in its entirety with snippets of writing that just couldn’t come together. Hold onto your pants, this is going to get long.

Basically, it’s a Soulmate!AU where injuries can get shuffled off to your soulmate. A Reaper x Reader. 

Chapter one is here: Link


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