things nobody told me

Things People Don’t Tell You about Pet Birds

Here’s a list of things nobody told me before I got my bird.  You’re welcome to fact check and add your own experiences!  I hope this helps someone!

Possibly disturbing images of animal neglect below.

NEVER get a pet bird who lives alone a mirror for their cage.  They can choose their own reflection as a mate, which needless to say isn’t healthy and can be extremely sexually frustrating.  It’s much healthier to get even small birds foraging toys to entertain them.

BAD!

GOOD!

ALL birds need lots of social interaction if they’re going to remain mentally healthy!  This is especially important for birds that live in large groups in the wild like cockatoos, finches, and parakeets, but also true for “loner” birds like Senegals and African Greys.  Without the proper social interactions (hours a day with people or other birds) birds can get bored and pick up destructive habits like feather pulling, biting, and screaming, and even develop mental illnesses like depression or anxiety.  Yes, even parakeets.

Feather pulling removes a bird’s main way of staying warm, which can lead to life threatening things like hypothermia.

Parrot’s body temperatures are around 103 degrees Fahrenheit, much higher than humans, and largely thermoregulate through their feet.  Because of that and their small body size, they can get hyper or hypothermia fairly easily when compared to humans.  In hot months it’s important to provide them with a shallow dish of water they can cool off in, and in cold months, a heating pad or perch they can sit on to keep warm.  Parrots do best in a stable, relatively warm environment; while they can take slight changes, drastic changes in temperature can be very detrimental. Non-tropical/arid birds are a bit different from what I hear, so can’t really talk about them.

Parrot beaks constantly grow, so it’s important to provide lots of chewing fodder (I like to call them sacrifices) for your parrot to chew on or get their beaks trimmed by a professional.  

These can be hard calcium treats, wood, and other natural materials.  Some can be plastic but I wouldn’t recommend those as they can be swallowed and impede digestion or become a choking hazard.

Birds are prey animals!  They’re typically very nervous because they’ve been hardwired for centuries to be on the lookout for things that want to eat them.  They’ll get nervous around new things, strange noises, and new people.  They can learn to overcome some fears by careful desensitization, lots of social interaction, and a calm, careful owner.  It’s VERY important to keep them away from predatory animals (dogs, cats, etc.), as it can cause unnecessary stress on the animals.  If they absolutely have to interact, do so in a controlled environment and with one or both in separate carriers, cages, or pens.  Know your animals, pay careful attention to their body language, and be prepared to step in if either looks stressed or aggressive.

My parrot Apollo meeting my friend’s cat, the right way.

Just like humans, birds have dietary needs that must be met if they’re to remain healthy.  A few of the most important are Vitamin D (sunlight!), calcium (especially important in hens), and protein (required to grow healthy beaks, claws, and feathers).  The easiest ways to take care of the first two is to provide your bird with lots of sunlight (direct or indirect depends on the bird) and a constant supply of cuttlebones or calcium treats.  There are several different diet plans out there for all kinds of birds, but all agree that birds CANNOT live off nothing but seeds.  This can cause fatty liver disease and early death, even in otherwise healthy birds.  All parrots are usually fed a diet of pellets, fruits, and vegetables, but the ratios really depend on who you ask.

Here’s a few food pyramids for parrots:

Birds absolutely CANNOT be fed:

  • Avocados
  • Caffeine
  • Chocolate
  • Any greasy, salty chips/popcorn or any processed “human food” 
  • Dairy
  • Alcohol (I shouldn’t have to say this)
  • Apple seeds
  • Feel free to add on

Before you feed your bird ANYTHING, please look it up and make sure it’s safe!

There is a strange sort of unspoken theory that once a woman has been raped, sex is no longer a viable option for her. Sex has been replaced by trauma, fear, pain, and anxiety. I’m not saying this is never the case. Every survivor’s story and experience is different, but too often the assumption is that if you have been raped, you are sexually broken and forever unfixable. That sort of discourse is not healthy or empowering or even sympathetic. What I want to say is what I wish I had been told: rape is not a form of sex, it is a form of assault. Sex feels good. Assault is traumatizing. It is possible for sex to exist after rape because they are different experiences, just like it’s possible for you to still enjoy going out to eat even if you got food poisoning once. You might never go back to that restaurant again, but it doesn’t mean you will get food poisoning every time you go out.


Admittedly, I don’t know what sex before rape is like. I lost my virginity to rape at 14. People are willing to give a lot of guidance on what a survivor is supposed to do after her rape. Do not change clothes. Do not shower. Have someone you trust take you to the hospital. Report it immediately to law enforcement. Reach out to loved ones, find a therapist, become an advocate for other survivors. But these are the things nobody told me about sex after rape:

1. Nobody tells you that you’ll feel guilty the first time you have a crush on a guy after your rape. Aren’t you supposed to hate men now? I mean, ugh, penises are evil and one ruined your life. You shouldn’t even be thinking about boys. That’s what got you in trouble in the first place. (Oh, hey rape culture, how’d you get here?)

2. Nobody tells you that you’ll be called a tease when you draw the line at making out. Even though you’re pretty proud of yourself for this minor victory on your path to regaining any confidence in expressing your sexuality, some people will think you’re a prude because you won’t take off your pants.

3. Nobody tells you that the first time you do take off your pants in front of a potential partner you’ll cry almost immediately and put them back on, leaving without an explanation. You’ll feel embarrassed and stupid and you’ll wonder if you’re ever going to be capable of intimacy ever again.

4. Nobody tells you that masturbation is a healing practice (OK, maybe your therapist suggested it once or twice) and that realizing you’re capable of sexual satisfaction after rape is an incredible, powerful feeling. Sometimes it takes a while to feel wholly reunited with your body in this way, and you’re allowed to take all the time you need. Sexual exploration is a journey, not a destination.

5. Nobody tells you that your PTSD symptoms will be scoffed at. Your boundaries will be called “arbitrary” and you will be accused of “wielding sex as a weapon” and “putting yourself on a pedestal.” Someone should tell you that people who say these things are the worst type of people to be around. They have no right to make you feel ashamed, but they will. If they have the potential to get angry about the choices you make about what you do with your body, they are not worth your time or energy or thought or love. But nobody tells you that.

6. Nobody tells you that the ‘rape talk’ will be a thing that has to happen before any romantic relationship gets too serious. Nobody lets you know that immature men will freak out and refer to your rape as “baggage” when they cut things off. And unfortunately, nobody mentions that some men will hold your hand and weep with you when you tell them, because they can’t believe anyone would be capable of hurting you.

7. Nobody tells you that there are men who are patient and kind. Some men will listen and support you and they will read and research and seek to understand. They will ask you what you like and what you don’t like, they will be explicit about their concerns, and they will treat you with respect and dignity.

8. Nobody tells you that the first few times you try sex again it might not go well. You might have a panic attack or a flashback, and you might scream or shake or cry or throw up or all of the above. What they should tell you is that the right partner will stroke your back or make you tea or hold your hair back for you. He’ll leave if he’s asked and he’ll keep his phone on him so you can talk if you need to.

9. Nobody tells you that the first time you successfully, enjoyably have sex again is empowering, and freeing, and overwhelming. Even if it only lasts two minutes, it will feel like an enormous victory. You will be happy in a way you weren’t sure you would be happy again.

10. Nobody tells you that it doesn’t work that way every time. PTSD isn’t cured by one blissful experience, and anxiety is a bitch. Sometimes you will burrow down deep in your comforter and wish you could just be NORMAL and have NORMAL sex like a NORMAL person. And it is frustrating. But you will remember that one bad experience does not negate your ability to have future good experiences. And you will drink your tea and feel better.

11. Nobody tells you that people are capable of loving you after you’ve been raped, and that you are capable of loving back. You are allowed to give yourself to someone completely. Likewise, you are allowed to hold back. You are allowed to be fearful but you are also allowed to trust again. Your healing process is your own and regardless of how you get there, know that as long as you are taking care of yourself, nobody has any right to tell you differently.

12. Nobody tells you that just because he’s the first boy you slept with since your rape doesn’t mean you have to fall in love with him. You don’t “owe” anyone else your love or happiness or body. You can be thankful and appreciative and comfortable, but if he’s not “the one,” don’t settle just because he treated you better than your rapist.

You’re going to have good days and bad days. You’re going to have good sex and bad sex. But you’re still alive, and I just thought maybe someone should tell you.

—  12 things no one told me
for you ladies.....don't trust a man when they say they love you

My last relationship drove me to the ground, but i still managed to move on and live my life. I had to be strong and encourage myself and i had to pray for myself so hard. I was with a man, that didn’t know himself. He played with me like a yoyo. He lived with me for several months, we had sex everyday, we went on dates as if we were together, i’d make him food everyday, draining my energy and my self being. Everyday he was with me but i wouldn’t trap him into staying in the house or anything, i knew he needed his freedom to make his money or go out with his friends. I made this guy money just for him to spend on another woman. Keep in mind, this man had a child when he was with me and i still kept him around me because he told me he loved me and i thought it was real. He doesn’t care to see his first born and it hurts me to know that he was never there for her even though it’s not even my child. His baby mother would call/text mine and his phone asking where he’s at like everyday, but when he was with me he would go out once in a while but i never knew it was to be with another woman. This man has hurt to many strong women, i fail to understand why his mother raised him that way. Me, not knowing where he was at only knew that he was going out he was sleeping with his ex from high school and ended up getting her pregnant also. Now he has a second child on the way, it was hurtful at first when i found out and i had to find out on my own. he would always tell me he’s not seeing her, he even saved her name under another name in his phone. Every time he would go out he went to see her then come back to me to show me the exact same (love) but i knew from the start it wasn’t real. We did have history, we didn’t fight as much although i kept my mouth shut. I literally would do anything for him. he caused so much drama between me and his baby mother, he caused me so much pain to the point i almost took my own life, he caused my family to hate me because of the mistakes i’ve done pleasing him, and those mistakes turned so bad that almost the police got involved, he turned everyone against me, he caused me to mentally and physically break down everyday. He drained my energy, my heart would feel like it’s sinking in to my stomach and that feeling is the worst because you feel like someone is just using you. I was there for him even when he was in jail, i was the only one traveling for him and picking up his phone calls from jail which was running up my moms bill which obviously made her mad. He would do things out of spite just to make my life harder and more difficult even when i told him it’s enough. I finally came to the conclusion to let go after i found out that he was seeing this girl, and got her pregnant. He was taking her on dates, buying her things with the money i made for him, he was just all over the place and i told him to leave my house since, i never seen him back. He still messages MY friends and ask about or for me, i fail to understand why when he has two baby’s and two baby mothers. BOYS like this, need a father in their life to help guide them. He really turned my life upside down, i wouldn’t say i was afraid of him because i did have a lot of history with him so i knew he would never physically hurt me but he would always hit my stomach as if he was trying to punch me, i didn’t know why but i understand he was just mad at himself he is suffering inside from all the things he’s been through and he’s told me things only i would know nobody else. mentally i was torn. He is still the same till this day and i know that for a fact even if i haven’t spoken to him because theirs types of men out there that will NEVER change when with time or Prayer. It’s sad and it was toxic. I’m now in a better healthy relationship, and i’m expecting a baby. My man treats me with respect and he loves me for me. It took me a while to forgive my ex, although the scars are forever my heart is more pure and i forgive myself for hurting myself for someone that doesn’t mean a thing to me. I’m a strong black woman and i know that in my life i will succeed and support my own self. I just need my own family which i’m working on right now, i’m more than happy that i don’t have these negative people in my life anymore and i thank God for that cause God gives the hardest battles to the strongest people. stay up ladies and don’t let no man configure your lifestyle even if he says he does love you, LOVE Is more than just a word LOVE is shown and you will know once you feel it in your heart.

anonymous asked:

How do you think Inej/the crew would react to Kaz crying?

UH WELL HERE WE GO DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE ONCE AGAIN

*CROOKED KINGDOM SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!*

  • Literally nobody knows how this happened
  • They were just sitting around on the roof of the Slat, reminiscing of the events that took place during Six of Crows/Crooked Kingdom
  • Jesper brought some brandy whereas Wylan brought thermoses of warm tea for everyone
  • Nina spread out a blanket and brought some more to keep everyone warm in the winter night
  • Kuwei is curled up, doodling happily while listening and pretending to sip his alcohol he’s more lightweight than Wylan stop lying to yourself
  • And then the topic of Matthias comes up and Nina of course gets all teary-eyed and she’s leaning her head on Inej’s shoulder
  • Somehow this leads to everybody opening up about their deep dark pasts/fears and there is a lot of back-rubbing/comforting
  • It’s been years since they were children but shit still hurts and haunts
  • Throughout Kuwei whispering about his father and Jesper telling stories about his mother, Kaz is completely stoic the entire time, quietly sipping his tea (with a bit of brandy mixed in) and looking off into the distance
  • But honestly that’s Kaz Brekker for you so nobody really makes a notion of it and Inej links their hands together underneath a blanket anyways
  • And then Jesper peers over at Kaz, who has mysteriously turned his face away, and notices how tense his shoulders are
  • “Kaz? Are you okay?”
  • “I’m fine.”
  • Inej is the one who gets him to turn around and then they see the SINGLE TEAR RUNNING DOWN HIS CHEEK
  • It is a miracle that Kuwei did not fall off the roof because he was so startled (Nina grabbed him by the shirt)
  • Wylan’s eyes just get very, very, big and round like saucers and Jesper kinda does this weird fidgety thing that screams Nobody Told Me This Was Going To Happen What Do I Do-
  • But Inej, Inej just looks at him so silently and so intensely and they’re staring at each other like they’re alone
  • It could’ve been dismissed as a trick of the light if Inej hadn’t slowly reached up and wiped it away with the edge of her sleeve
  • “Kaz can cry?” Wylan whispers incredulously and Nina just smacks him on the head but she, too, is extremely flustered
  • Honestly 9.99999/10 times Kaz’s associates are completely convinced this boy literally contains no emotions other than terrifying anger and cruelty
  • Has anybody ever even heard him laugh?????
  • Anyways he doesn’t say anything, he just looks down at his cup for a moment, at the horizon, then the sky, and then he meets all of their eyes for an appropriate amount of time
  • “That didn’t happen.” He says roughly and they all nod because they have a feeling there is death behind his statement
  • But in a moment of pure genius Kuwei bravely begins to talk about how Kaz changed his life for the better
  • And then they’re all talking about the moment that Kaz gave them a whole new future
  • And Kaz’s face doesn’t change at all but he looks at each one of them during every story and they know that he is listening with all of his being
  • Underneath the blanket, he squeezes Inej’s hand
  • Robert: Do you mean that? (Aaron nods) I don't deserve it. I did the worst thing I could.
  • Aaron: Yeah. But you told me. Nobody caught you out, nobody forced you, nobody got to me first. You told me... and you didn't have to. Which is something. For you, anyway.
  • Robert: Lox expectations, right? What now?
  • Aaron: I need to tell you something. It... kind of made sense to me in my session, but I'm not sure whether it will to you or not.
  • Robert: Try me.

The pain of getting hurt by a best friend is too big and too painful and your heart hurts so much and you want to tell your best friend but that is the person who hurt you in first place.

College And Me: Things I Wish I Had Known Before Starting

I recently completed my very first semester of college. There were lots of things I expected, and lots of things I didn’t. This is a list of things nobody told me about college that surprised me. I definitely think it’s important to figure things out on your own and cultivate your own experiences but knowing these things may have made my transition easier, or at least may have made me feel like I was a little bit less alone. Here it goes:

  1. It’s okay to be nervous.
  2. College kids are just as dumb as high school kids, except worse because no one’s telling them what to do.
  3. I don’t care what the attendance policy says, just go to class.
  4. You will make friends, I promise. But there will still be days when you feel like you don’t have any.
  5. It’s okay to feel like you don’t belong sometimes.
  6. You don’t have to go Greek. People will still like you. But if you do go Greek, force yourself to make time for your non-Greek friends.
  7. Some people don’t get to pick their school. Sometimes, the school chooses you due to circumstances beyond your control. (Read: Some people may not be there because they want to be but because they have to be.)
  8. There is still drama in college, but every little thing doesn’t seem like the end of the world anymore and that’s nice.
  9. Not everyone goes to parties. You will find your people, and they may not be everyone else’s people.
  10. Pick a spot on campus that’s just yours. Somewhere to just be by yourself and think or study or read or whatever. It’ll be a good place to have when you need it.
  11. There’s no such thing as too much effort.
  12. The food gets old fast.
  13. Everyone is there for a different reason. Try to learn as many of those reasons as possible.

This is what I’ve learned in my very short time as a college student. This may not be a set of guidelines for everyone, but it’s something I felt like needed to be said. So that’s it for what college has been like for me so far.

5
Facebook

Lestat is that type of person who inboxes you and says “can u like my profile picture 😘?” Overuses smiley faces and emojis such as 😘😭😉😚;P. Always tags Louis on pictures (Louis constanlty removes tags) in the album BAE AND ME ;) . He sent Louis a relationship request (it’s still pending). Tags everbody on his profile picture, so he would get more likes. Shares his profile pictures.
When he and Louis have a fight he posts some depressing love songs and statuses, writes things such as “everybody told me to forget you, but nobody told me how…#dedicated #L ; i am never going to trust anyone ever again…#L; sometimes, the person you’d take a bullet for ends up being the one behind the gun #L.”
Sometimes Armand asks him what’s wrong, he answers either with “nothing…I don’t want to talk about it” or “inbox pls, I don’t want to talk about it here”
Uses internet acronyms, jargon, cyber slang. Posts selfies every 5 minutes with lots of hashtags and of course, it’s connected to his Instagram.

Louis always posts some deep, philosophical statuses, and when he’s chatting with someone always ends sentences with ” … “
He blocked Lestat from posting hearts on his wall.
When Lestat gets his way and they do take a selfie togheter, in which Louis is satisfied how he looks, he cuts Lestat and puts it as his profile picture. Lestat tags himself on that little lock of hair that is barely visible in the corner.

Marius doesn’t know how to use Facebook, uses it rarely, only to check on Armand and to post his work in progress pictures on timeline, cause he doesn’t know how to make albums and occasionally shares scientific and historic links. When he does inbox somebody, he ends his message with something like
Best Regards,
Marius de Romanus

Armand posts everything, from pretty paintings, silly statuses, selfies, music to high scores in games. Tags Lestat on screamers. Photoshops Lestat’s face everywhere. Posts ugly photos of Lestat he took without him noticing and tags him. Five minutes later Armand gets a message in inbox that says ” Hey, I don’t like this photo of me. Please remove it. “
He doesn’t.

kids these days are so smart and i mean like 12-15 year old kids are so much more wise and woke than i was im glad you all know how to self explore in healthy ways and im glad you are learning what is and isnt an okay way for adults to treat you and how to say you’re not comfortable and stand up for yourselves but still have fun and be the children that you are you’re all so inspiring i hope you have really good happy lives 

6

your summer is gone, Corvo

Here is the thing that NOBODY told me about having thyroid cancer.

My life was going to change, radically. I wasn’t going to be the young healthy 18 year old that I was two years ago. I wasn’t going to be the healthy 20 year old I was six months ago. I wasn’t going to go back to normal. I was going to have to make a new normal, and I needed time and I needed help. But neither of those things were offered to me.

As a thyroid cancer patient, the system is going to fail you. You’re going to be pushed through the system like this isn’t a life altering event. They will fool you into believing that you are going insane. That this is how your life is going to be.

But that isn’t the case. The thing about finding your new normal is you’re going to have to fight for it. You’re going to have to fight for the right to be heard, to be taken seriously, to be respected, to have the quality of life you deserve.

You are not alone. And you can do this.

Happy birthday, @to-the-starkcave! I hope you feel sufficiently bad for making me rewatch the Jötun parts of Thor for reference, causing me to have a resurgence of feelings about bb!Loki, as if I didn’t have enough of those. Shame on you. I hope frost giants crash your party and steal your cake.

Tony is in Jötunheimr for one of two reasons: either he snuck in to get something he needed for his inventions, or he was banished from Asgard for rocking the red cape too hard and upstaging the crown prince. Either way, he took the wrong exit off the Bifrost interstate and found himself in some blue dude’s backyard. Naturally, they engaged in a gentlemanly bout of asskicking, which did not go as planned.

Tony’s impression:
I thought Jötuns were supposed to be big, haha baby frost giant wait shit he’s kicking my ass

Loki’s impression:
Foolish Asgardian, you will regret the day you wait shit nobody told me these things were contagious no no abort abort abort

All in all, a most successful meet cute.

anonymous asked:

I totally agree with you on the fat acceptance thing like, when I was Anorexic nobody told me I was fine and "beautiful" to spare my feelings. They told me the truth. Just like they should with overweight people.

Thank youuuu

[1] Do not ever think you are fat. Do not ever call yourself fat. You are not fat, you have fat. And that is normal.
[2] Don’t ever think you’re not good enough for someone or something. Be the best you can be and that will always be enough.
[3] Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re not good enough. The second something comes out of their mouth that you find offensive, leave them.
[4] Don’t forget to eat whatever you want. There will be people who don’t agree with your choices. Ignore them and pig out.
[5] Remember that you are not only your soul, but your body too. Love it because you only get one.
[6] Come to realize that you are not the amount you weigh, or the grades you get, or the choices you make. Realize that you are your favorite animals, you are the books you read 5 times in a row, you are the hate you have for fast walking, you are the stars and the moon and the sun.
[7] Your grades do not define if you’re smart or not.
[8] It’s never a bad thing to go on a walk to feel the sunshine on your cheek, or to climb a mountain to feel on top of the world.
[9] And it’s never a bad thing to eat 3 donuts at 2am.
[10] Make choices that make you happy. Don’t worry about anybody else. You are not responsible for their feelings.
[11] Don’t feel guilty for something that you can’t control, or something that’s not your fault.
[12] If you feel uncomfortable in a bad way, leave. Do not ever do something you don’t feel okay with.
—  Things nobody ever told me