things nobody told me

Things People Don’t Tell You about Pet Birds

Here’s a list of things nobody told me before I got my bird.  You’re welcome to fact check and add your own experiences!  I hope this helps someone!

Possibly disturbing images of animal neglect below.

NEVER get a pet bird who lives alone a mirror for their cage.  They can choose their own reflection as a mate, which needless to say isn’t healthy and can be extremely sexually frustrating.  It’s much healthier to get even small birds foraging toys to entertain them.

BAD!

GOOD!

ALL birds need lots of social interaction if they’re going to remain mentally healthy!  This is especially important for birds that live in large groups in the wild like cockatoos, finches, and parakeets, but also true for “loner” birds like Senegals and African Greys.  Without the proper social interactions (hours a day with people or other birds) birds can get bored and pick up destructive habits like feather pulling, biting, and screaming, and even develop mental illnesses like depression or anxiety.  Yes, even parakeets.

Feather pulling removes a bird’s main way of staying warm, which can lead to life threatening things like hypothermia.

Parrot’s body temperatures are around 103 degrees Fahrenheit, much higher than humans, and largely thermoregulate through their feet.  Because of that and their small body size, they can get hyper or hypothermia fairly easily when compared to humans.  In hot months it’s important to provide them with a shallow dish of water they can cool off in, and in cold months, a heating pad or perch they can sit on to keep warm.  Parrots do best in a stable, relatively warm environment; while they can take slight changes, drastic changes in temperature can be very detrimental. Non-tropical/arid birds are a bit different from what I hear, so can’t really talk about them.

Parrot beaks constantly grow, so it’s important to provide lots of chewing fodder (I like to call them sacrifices) for your parrot to chew on or get their beaks trimmed by a professional.  

These can be hard calcium treats, wood, and other natural materials.  Some can be plastic but I wouldn’t recommend those as they can be swallowed and impede digestion or become a choking hazard.

Birds are prey animals!  They’re typically very nervous because they’ve been hardwired for centuries to be on the lookout for things that want to eat them.  They’ll get nervous around new things, strange noises, and new people.  They can learn to overcome some fears by careful desensitization, lots of social interaction, and a calm, careful owner.  It’s VERY important to keep them away from predatory animals (dogs, cats, etc.), as it can cause unnecessary stress on the animals.  If they absolutely have to interact, do so in a controlled environment and with one or both in separate carriers, cages, or pens.  Know your animals, pay careful attention to their body language, and be prepared to step in if either looks stressed or aggressive.

My parrot Apollo meeting my friend’s cat, the right way.

Just like humans, birds have dietary needs that must be met if they’re to remain healthy.  A few of the most important are Vitamin D (sunlight!), calcium (especially important in hens), and protein (required to grow healthy beaks, claws, and feathers).  The easiest ways to take care of the first two is to provide your bird with lots of sunlight (direct or indirect depends on the bird) and a constant supply of cuttlebones or calcium treats.  There are several different diet plans out there for all kinds of birds, but all agree that birds CANNOT live off nothing but seeds.  This can cause fatty liver disease and early death, even in otherwise healthy birds.  All parrots are usually fed a diet of pellets, fruits, and vegetables, but the ratios really depend on who you ask.

Here’s a few food pyramids for parrots:

Birds absolutely CANNOT be fed:

  • Avocados
  • Caffeine
  • Chocolate
  • Any greasy, salty chips/popcorn or any processed “human food” 
  • Dairy
  • Alcohol (I shouldn’t have to say this)
  • Apple seeds
  • Feel free to add on

Before you feed your bird ANYTHING, please look it up and make sure it’s safe!

There is a strange sort of unspoken theory that once a woman has been raped, sex is no longer a viable option for her. Sex has been replaced by trauma, fear, pain, and anxiety. I’m not saying this is never the case. Every survivor’s story and experience is different, but too often the assumption is that if you have been raped, you are sexually broken and forever unfixable. That sort of discourse is not healthy or empowering or even sympathetic. What I want to say is what I wish I had been told: rape is not a form of sex, it is a form of assault. Sex feels good. Assault is traumatizing. It is possible for sex to exist after rape because they are different experiences, just like it’s possible for you to still enjoy going out to eat even if you got food poisoning once. You might never go back to that restaurant again, but it doesn’t mean you will get food poisoning every time you go out.


Admittedly, I don’t know what sex before rape is like. I lost my virginity to rape at 14. People are willing to give a lot of guidance on what a survivor is supposed to do after her rape. Do not change clothes. Do not shower. Have someone you trust take you to the hospital. Report it immediately to law enforcement. Reach out to loved ones, find a therapist, become an advocate for other survivors. But these are the things nobody told me about sex after rape:

1. Nobody tells you that you’ll feel guilty the first time you have a crush on a guy after your rape. Aren’t you supposed to hate men now? I mean, ugh, penises are evil and one ruined your life. You shouldn’t even be thinking about boys. That’s what got you in trouble in the first place. (Oh, hey rape culture, how’d you get here?)

2. Nobody tells you that you’ll be called a tease when you draw the line at making out. Even though you’re pretty proud of yourself for this minor victory on your path to regaining any confidence in expressing your sexuality, some people will think you’re a prude because you won’t take off your pants.

3. Nobody tells you that the first time you do take off your pants in front of a potential partner you’ll cry almost immediately and put them back on, leaving without an explanation. You’ll feel embarrassed and stupid and you’ll wonder if you’re ever going to be capable of intimacy ever again.

4. Nobody tells you that masturbation is a healing practice (OK, maybe your therapist suggested it once or twice) and that realizing you’re capable of sexual satisfaction after rape is an incredible, powerful feeling. Sometimes it takes a while to feel wholly reunited with your body in this way, and you’re allowed to take all the time you need. Sexual exploration is a journey, not a destination.

5. Nobody tells you that your PTSD symptoms will be scoffed at. Your boundaries will be called “arbitrary” and you will be accused of “wielding sex as a weapon” and “putting yourself on a pedestal.” Someone should tell you that people who say these things are the worst type of people to be around. They have no right to make you feel ashamed, but they will. If they have the potential to get angry about the choices you make about what you do with your body, they are not worth your time or energy or thought or love. But nobody tells you that.

6. Nobody tells you that the ‘rape talk’ will be a thing that has to happen before any romantic relationship gets too serious. Nobody lets you know that immature men will freak out and refer to your rape as “baggage” when they cut things off. And unfortunately, nobody mentions that some men will hold your hand and weep with you when you tell them, because they can’t believe anyone would be capable of hurting you.

7. Nobody tells you that there are men who are patient and kind. Some men will listen and support you and they will read and research and seek to understand. They will ask you what you like and what you don’t like, they will be explicit about their concerns, and they will treat you with respect and dignity.

8. Nobody tells you that the first few times you try sex again it might not go well. You might have a panic attack or a flashback, and you might scream or shake or cry or throw up or all of the above. What they should tell you is that the right partner will stroke your back or make you tea or hold your hair back for you. He’ll leave if he’s asked and he’ll keep his phone on him so you can talk if you need to.

9. Nobody tells you that the first time you successfully, enjoyably have sex again is empowering, and freeing, and overwhelming. Even if it only lasts two minutes, it will feel like an enormous victory. You will be happy in a way you weren’t sure you would be happy again.

10. Nobody tells you that it doesn’t work that way every time. PTSD isn’t cured by one blissful experience, and anxiety is a bitch. Sometimes you will burrow down deep in your comforter and wish you could just be NORMAL and have NORMAL sex like a NORMAL person. And it is frustrating. But you will remember that one bad experience does not negate your ability to have future good experiences. And you will drink your tea and feel better.

11. Nobody tells you that people are capable of loving you after you’ve been raped, and that you are capable of loving back. You are allowed to give yourself to someone completely. Likewise, you are allowed to hold back. You are allowed to be fearful but you are also allowed to trust again. Your healing process is your own and regardless of how you get there, know that as long as you are taking care of yourself, nobody has any right to tell you differently.

12. Nobody tells you that just because he’s the first boy you slept with since your rape doesn’t mean you have to fall in love with him. You don’t “owe” anyone else your love or happiness or body. You can be thankful and appreciative and comfortable, but if he’s not “the one,” don’t settle just because he treated you better than your rapist.

You’re going to have good days and bad days. You’re going to have good sex and bad sex. But you’re still alive, and I just thought maybe someone should tell you.

—  12 things no one told me

it’s 5 AM and i just want to know. why is there no mythical opposite to a vampire? like. some fucking immortal being that bites you to give you life instead of drain it, and. fucking gets energy via photosynthesis. just is constantly in direct fucking sunlight. why isn’t this a thing and if it is why has nobody told me about it

violetoccurrences  asked:

#ehhhhh#i know this is true#but why does it feel like the only people who say this#are people who are already in relationships#i've read so many books about christian dating and what-not#all written by married people of course / I can relate to this so much. Also, every Christian dating book I've read has been awful purity culture bullshit, I wish I never read them because they fucked me up

I’m guessing you’ve read “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”? My dad got that book for me as a teenager and it’s one of the worst offenders. The fact that the author has since apologized for some of the things he wrote and is making a film about the book’s impact is proof to me that the stuff he said doesn’t work. When people can’t get to know potential mates in a low pressure environment since the weighty expectancy of marriage is always there, no wonder so many people have been messed up.

Pater’s Rose 8

So guys, here is Part 8 of Parter’s Rose!!! I hope you will like it!!! 

And I’m so honored that I inspire some people with my writing!!! 

Thank you so much! 

All the love 

E.xx 

I lean exhausted and numb against the window, my eyes red and swollen. I have no tears anymore and my chest is hurting because of the deep desperate sobs which escaped from my empty shell. Halfway through the trip a woman enters my compartment; she carries a little child with her, a girl with dark curls. I smile at her and she nods as she sits down across from me. I examine the new passengers:

The little Miss looks cute in her dark green dress, her long curls falling over her shoulders with such a naturalness that every woman would be jealous. Her skin looks delicate like china; her cheeks have a rose color and her lips have a beautiful curve. Her dark eyes are awake and interested. Her little legs dangle excitedly against the cushion of the seat.

The bow in her hair matches perfectly the color of her dress. She babbles endlessly and her mother nods and smiles. From time to time she points out of the window and I follow her finger too, only to see me in the reflection of the pane. A pale teary face with sad big eyes. Nothing more. Nothing less.

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3

“The truth is always stranger than fiction!” - Katrielle Layton

Here’s a cosplay test for Katrielle Layton, in celebration of the Nintendo 3DS debut of Layton’s Mystery Journey, since yesterday! (October 6th) *heavily breathing*…..NOBODY TOLD ME THIS!! IT’S oK hERE’S A THING nOW!!

While searching for cosplay-esque clothes in my closet, I wanted to test for two wig colors (Copper Red, or Coco Brown) with my outfit, and the wig I received was already in braids….paired with my Layton cosplay, the Professor Lady Layton outfit was created! Inspired by the DLC outfits you can buy in-game, I’m also considering that outfit as an alternate cosplay! 

….Makes me wonder if I can pull off another puzzling adventure when I get MY COPY of the game….!

More cosplay content? Visit my Facebook @WannabeMagicalCosplay!
Epic Cosplay Wig, Hera in Coco Brown - courtesy of @thecanarianempire

The Princess’s Cake

So this is my birthday gift to my lovely Grandma Emma @lalalafool ! Happy birthday my beautiful old friend!!

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Fluff, VillageBoy!Au, Princess!Au

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Jimin admires the Princess, so he decides to make her a birthday cake for her, but he is definitely not a good chef.


Jimin’s pov:

“Finally” I said, looking at the huge mess I made in the kitchen. My parents were going to kill me, so without even wasting a second I started cleaning, careful not to ruin the cake.

“Jimin! We are home!” My mother shouted opening the door.

“Please don’t get into the kitchen guys, I’ll be out in a minute” I shouted back, trying not to panic, hoping she won’t get in, but obviously, she did.

“Jimin, why did you do such a mess? What happened?” She asked entering the kitchen, and now looking at the mess on the counter.

“I’m trying to make a birthday cake for our princess who just turned 18, and as you did a cake for me on my birthday, then I decided I should too. I don’t think the queen or the king have a lot of time to make cakes for her…” I honestly said.

I knew she would probably have tons of cakes if she just asked, but I wanted to do one that was made with love.

“Oh, honey. I am proud of you. I’ll help you clean up this mess, okay? Then we’ll put the cake on a nice tray, so you can give it to her tomorrow when she comes for her birthday” my mum started to put everything away as she took a rag to clean the counter-top.

Keep reading

The pain of getting hurt by a best friend is too big and too painful and your heart hurts so much and you want to tell your best friend but that is the person who hurt you in first place.

FATE GRAND ORDER CHAPTERS

Summarized by someone who hasn’t read any of them except the first three, and is basing this whole thing off hearsay and memes. Let’s go.

Fuyuki: Damn it Kiritsu- wait it wasn’t you this time?

Orleans: Move over Arturia, the new cash cow is here

Septem: UMU

Okeanos: Pirate fights

London: Sherlock Holmes versus Hyde and Jack the Ripper. Alan Moore, eat your heart out.

E Pluribus Unum: Local Celt Destroys America

Camelot: don’t let the name fool you the Hassans are the true stars here

Babylonia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Salomon: Ok seriously we are running out of friends and allies to sacrifice

Shinjuku: ow the edge

Agartha: I have heard literally nothing at all about this chapter, ever. Nobody has told me a single thing about it. It may not even exist.

BONUS:

SE.RA.PH: im kinkshaming

anonymous asked:

I sent an ask earlier about getting assessed for ADHD and how to have a professional actually believed you (instead of being like ugh self diagnosers smh) but TURNS OUT in the psych report from a year ago that I never got to read it says I should be tested for ADHD and SPD, both things I self diagnosed with. Of course, nobody told me about this and I haven't been assessed for anything. FML

WTF? Sheesh. Are you going to get assessed now? I hope people take you seriously!

-J

College And Me: Things I Wish I Had Known Before Starting

I recently completed my very first semester of college. There were lots of things I expected, and lots of things I didn’t. This is a list of things nobody told me about college that surprised me. I definitely think it’s important to figure things out on your own and cultivate your own experiences but knowing these things may have made my transition easier, or at least may have made me feel like I was a little bit less alone. Here it goes:

  1. It’s okay to be nervous.
  2. College kids are just as dumb as high school kids, except worse because no one’s telling them what to do.
  3. I don’t care what the attendance policy says, just go to class.
  4. You will make friends, I promise. But there will still be days when you feel like you don’t have any.
  5. It’s okay to feel like you don’t belong sometimes.
  6. You don’t have to go Greek. People will still like you. But if you do go Greek, force yourself to make time for your non-Greek friends.
  7. Some people don’t get to pick their school. Sometimes, the school chooses you due to circumstances beyond your control. (Read: Some people may not be there because they want to be but because they have to be.)
  8. There is still drama in college, but every little thing doesn’t seem like the end of the world anymore and that’s nice.
  9. Not everyone goes to parties. You will find your people, and they may not be everyone else’s people.
  10. Pick a spot on campus that’s just yours. Somewhere to just be by yourself and think or study or read or whatever. It’ll be a good place to have when you need it.
  11. There’s no such thing as too much effort.
  12. The food gets old fast.
  13. Everyone is there for a different reason. Try to learn as many of those reasons as possible.

This is what I’ve learned in my very short time as a college student. This may not be a set of guidelines for everyone, but it’s something I felt like needed to be said. So that’s it for what college has been like for me so far.

  • Robert: Do you mean that? (Aaron nods) I don't deserve it. I did the worst thing I could.
  • Aaron: Yeah. But you told me. Nobody caught you out, nobody forced you, nobody got to me first. You told me... and you didn't have to. Which is something. For you, anyway.
  • Robert: Lox expectations, right? What now?
  • Aaron: I need to tell you something. It... kind of made sense to me in my session, but I'm not sure whether it will to you or not.
  • Robert: Try me.