things no one cares about but now know

the no bullshit guide to getting your shit together: for the lazy student

Let’s be honest: time management and organization? They’re really hard. Sure, at first you might feel like you’ve gotten the hang of them, that you’re in control of your life. But how often have you fallen off the wagon? Procrastinated on one thing and the next moment, you’re behind in all your classes? I know that sometimes laziness feels like a part of who you are, but honestly, fuck that. Do you really want to give up your success for the disinterest of a moment?

If your answer is no (it better be no, or you really need to get your priorities straight), let’s get to it. 

STEP ONE: BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

“This class doesn’t even matter.” “I don’t care about my grades.” “I can finish this the day before.” Sound familiar? You might feel great now, but when you’re staring down at your report card later, it’ll feel like you just got punched. 

This is a cliche, but the greatest obstacle to your success is yourself - especially the lies you tell yourself! Sit yourself down and be honest about what you need to improve on. Be as blunt as you can, but for god’s sake, don’t throw yourself a pity party! There’s no use agonizing over what you can’t change. Instead, set realistic, achievable goals, and make a game plan. Struggling with math? Go to extra help. Behind in all your classes? Stay in for a couple nights and actually work. 

STEP TWO: STOP WITH THE FANCY SHIT

Now you know what your goals are, but maybe you want some inspiration, so you log on to tumblr and are instantly bombarded by all these beautiful, well lit shots of the most gorgeous bullet journals, planners, and notes. Impressive, right? Well, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret: they’re all useless! A simple phone planner works just as well, if not better, than a fancy agenda, because you’ll always have it on you, it’s not a hassle to carry around, and you don’t feel obligated to make it look pretty. 

Riddle me this, where are you going to find all this extra motivation to keep prettying up your bullet journal? To write all your notes in perfect, colour coded printing? There aren’t many times in life where taking the easy was out will actually benefit you, so take advantage! Stop wasting your time; get a phone planner and write your notes in your natural goddamn handwriting. 

STEP THREE: CLEAN YOUR ROOM

Yep, your entire room - not just your study space! This one can be put on the back burner for a bit if you’re on a really pressing deadline, but I wouldn’t recommend it. I’m notoriously messy, and if I don’t watch myself, I’d find myself in dirty-laundry-and-old-notes hell. A little bit of organized chaos is fine, I even encourage it! But try working when your desk is covered in mounds of paper and you have nowhere to put your laptop – it’s just not conducive to success. 

Keeping your entire room clean is a way to stave off stress, frustration, and even embarrassment, because nobody wants to show potential roommates how much of a mess they are. 

STEP FOUR: ACTUALLY WORK

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: “actually work? Who does this girl think she is?” I’d probably think the same thing, except I’ve learned the valuable lesson of sucking it the hell up, and you will too. When you get home from work, grab a snack and work. When you have a free period, figure out what’s due and work. Stop reasoning yourself out of work: you’re not going to finish this later, and that will be on the test. There’s really not much to say about this one, because it’s the step that requires the most raw effort, and you’re really only going to find that within yourself. Tell yourself what’s at stake, and realize that, by setting the standard for your mediocrity now, you’re potentially trapping yourself in a cycle that will last for years. 

STEP FIVE: CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK

Maybe you’ve been on top of your shit for a day, a week, or even a month, and that’s really great. But then… you fail. You miss a deadline or you bomb a test. So what do you do now? Do you allow yourself to fall back into your old habits? Fuck no! Everyone fails, even that studyblr with those perfect bullet journal photos and a perpetually clean study space. I’m going to tell you something that’ll sound really strange: you should value your failures, especially if you worked hard to avoid them. What?! Be HAPPY about failing when I actually TRIED? Yeah, you heard me right. If you don’t know how to handle failure, then when you inevitably experience it, your reaction will be much worse. 

Failing hurts, and boy, I know how embarrassing it can be. But learning how to deal with failure, and especially how to keep trying after it happens, is an invaluable lesson. 

STEP SIX: TREAT. YO. SELF.

Disclaimer: I’m not suggesting you treat yourself after the most basic of tasks, because please. Treat yourself when you know you goddamn well deserve it. Remember that “all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.” If all you do is study and do your homework, then, pardon my french, your life sucks. If you don’t have friends, play a video game! Eat an entire jumbo chocolate bar! Indulge in whatever the fuck you want, you deserve it. I’m someone that has trouble prioritizing future benefits over immediate gratification, so by allowing myself little pleasures, I save myself from crashing and burning. 

Hope these tips helped, but remember to take them with a grain of salt - you’re you and I’m me, and different things work for different people. Good luck!

I’m going to seriously die if the major conflict between Bitty and his parents this year isn’t him coming out, but if Bitty and Suzanne legit fall out over him using Aunt Judy’s jam recipe. 

Imagine Bitty and Suzanne, in true Southern fashion, the subtle and not-so-subtle passive-aggressive snipes and asides:

“Oh, Dicky, I was planning to send you a care package, but I’ve seen how much you enjoy getting things from your Aunt Judy–” 

“Mother, please–” 

“She shared some of those pictures from Mr. Alexei, showing off all that jam you sent to the Falconers! They must’ve loved that recipe so much, Dicky!” 

“Well, yes, but–” 

“And you couldn’t’ve gotten all those berries up north, so I figured she must’ve sent some up already. Me sending any, they’d’ve just gone to waste! What. a. shame. that would’ve been.” 

And of course it escalates, to where they’re gritting their teeth through every conversation and furiously complain to their partners after every time they speak. 

Coach, of course, doesn’t care, and wants to stay out of it, but Bitty interprets his silence for taking his mother side. And Bitty probably was already thinking about staying part of the summer in Providence with Jack…. 

Mentioning that to Suzanne, however, opens up a whole new can of worms:

“You’re neglecting your family!” 

“It’s just one summer!”

“It was just one batch of Judy’s jam, at first! Now you’re making it like you’re fixin’ to feed an army, and when’s the last time you made our recipe, hm?”

“That’s not the same thing and you know it, Mother–”

“But it’s tradition. You always come down for the 4th of July!”

“I can do to skip one year. They’re’ll be plenty more to come.”

“Do they even celebrate the 4th up there?” 

“Oh for–Yes, Mother. If I stay with Jack we’ll celebrate Canada Day, too. That’s twice the celebrating! Twice the tradition.” 

“Don’t take that tone with me, young man.” 

“Mother–” 

“–I just don’t know what’s got into you, Dicky! It’s like I don’t even know you anymore!” 

At that point the fight gets real.  Tempers flare, Words are spoken, and tears are shed, and in the end, Bitty snaps: 

“You know what’s got into me? Fine. I’m gay. I’m dating Jack. and I’m staying with my boyfriend over the summer. Deal with it, Mother!”

At which point Suzanne snaps back: 

“Well fine! That still doesn’t excuse your sorry excuse for preserves!” 

and hangs up on him. 

She calls him back immediately: 

“And just so you know, Jack Zimmermann is a wonderful young man who is welcome in my house any time. You are free to come home as soon as you come off that high horse’ve yours and re-learn some manners!”

She hangs up again. 

And that is my happy head canon of how Bitty comes out to his mother and doesn’t speak to her again for two months, not because he’s gay, but because of jam. 

Jack Zimmermann, on the other hand, receives a congratulatory call, a warm welcome into the family, and weekly care packages with rainbow-themed note cards saying “To Jack, my favorite son.” (You didn’t think Bitty got his saltiness from Coach, did you?) 

(For his part, Coach calls Bitty for an awkward but warm “So your mother says you’re gay, that right? Dating Zimmermann, too? Well. Guess you got some good taste there, Junior.”)

When former fat celebrities lose weight no one says “Omg look at how low her cholesterol looks” “Wow low blood pressure looks great on her” or “She looks so much better without a heart attack” that’s not what people care about. And for one you can’t tell someone’s health by their weight anyway.

But, the main thing people focus on is how they look. “She looks so good now!″ “Wow they look so skinny, they look amazing” “Omg they’re smoking hot now” that’s the only thing I see. Fatphobics don’t care about health, they care about looks. They’re obsessed with seeing how people look when they’re skinny, and that’s it because our superficial society is obsessed with thinness and beauty.

I’ve seen people do it, every time a former fat or a former really fat celebrity loses weight. They only care about how they’ll look once they’re skinny, they don’t care about random people’s health, no one does.

I damn sure don’t concern my life with what the next person does with their body, so people need to stop kidding themselves, when they know they’re just fatphobic.

All of it makes me angry.

9

T H E   T R U T H   - EXO’rDIUM Opening VCR

It is hard to know, what is true or what is false.
We all believe what we see with our eyes.
So people do not believe each other, fight each other, and hurt others.
But this is why we are so special.
However, we people, are sometimes very dangerous.
We care about each other, but we also hate one another.
When one’s truth collides with other’s truth, so many things gets destroyed.
Is that why?
This is the reason, why we have them.
From now on, I will tell you from when they existed, and where they are.
And the truth lies all around us.
The nine stories that I will tell you from now on, is the truth that people did not know.

(please click on the gifs for the story behind it)

do u know what…i was that person who said stop saying dan is this or isn’t this don’t assume blah blah blah, but like….the dude is making it plainly obvious he doesn’t care anymore. he doesn’t label, he just is what he is. he talks about cute guys and cute girls and he’s happy with who he is and he might not need a word for it or one day he might, we don’t know, but what we do know is he isn’t afraid to be open with his feelings towards any gender and that is better than anything.

so y'know what i say now?? dan howell is fuckin accepting of himself and that’s beautiful because once upon a time that was not a thing.

Animals are not decor, fish are not decoration, fish are not aesthetics, they are sentient beings that need proper care. 

Jars, flower base, “fish bowls” aren’t suitable homes for our aquatic friends, I know popular knowledge tells you betta fish are cheap, easy and can live in any thing with water, but this is animal abuse. 

Nobody is born knowing and it’s ok if you thought your little friend was gonna be happy in those conditions, BUT it’s now a responsibility, ignorance is not a sin, but if you know what your pet needs and you still don’t want to take proper care of them, you shouldn’t own one. Internet is a blessing and you can easily research about proper care, here are the basics: 

  • Betta Fish need at least 2.5 gallons,but the more the better. 
  • Betta Fish need a low or non flow filter, without this there could be dangerous amount of ammonia and waste in the water. 
  • Betta Fish need a heater, they do better in 74-81 °F   
  • Betta Fish need water conditioner, anti-stress 
  • One tank = One betta. 
  • Decoration: They need hideouts and plants, they can be live plants or silk plants, plastic can hurt their fins. 
  • They need a LID, they tend to jump. 

Fish are PETS, and NEED you to be responsible, it might be just a fish for you (I hope it’s not) but for them YOU are their entire world, our pets rely 100% in us, their health is a responsibility.

FOOL4U

Jughead x Reader

Wordcount: 1,635

A/N: Leave me requests in my DM’s 

Summery: Jughead and y/n get caught up in a heated moment by the lake

Y/N POV -

The heat radiated off my skin as I stepped out of the water onto the riverbank. There was a warm subtle breeze hitting my face as I join the others sat on a large rock, beer cans and food around us. The gang had decided to start off the new term at school on a high note so we all met up by the river for the day and had a couple of drinks. The group consisted of Archie, Betty, Kevin, Veronica, Jughead and myself.

We all sat round on the rock sharing laughs and making plans for our future summer together. Although some moments weren’t as perfect as others due to there still being tension between some members of the group. There was an ominous feeling about the day as we’d all pushed aside the Jason Blossom case to free our minds of the stress for one weekend.

I sigh and take in a deep breath of fresh air, feeling cold, refreshing water droplets spin down my back from my wet hair. I run my fingers through it to untangle the knots that had appeared. I look to my left to see Jughead awkwardly looking around unsure of what to do with himself. A look of slight discomfort contorted onto his features.

“You okay Juggie?” I ask him quietly not wanting to draw the attention of others. He just looks at me and shrugs, a solemn look about him.

“You gonna strip those clothes off for us Juggie” Veronica cheekily flirted towards the only one still fully dressed at the time. Jughead just scoffed and looked away biting back  “Are you gonna learn to keep your clothes on Veronica?” gaining awkward hisses and coughs from the others.

“That’s a little harsh isn’t Jug, considering it’s still basically summer, are you not planning on getting in the water with the rest of us later on then?” I ask him discreetly smirking his way.

“If it gets too hot then sure i’ll come in, but it’s not necessary for me to sit here half naked and be even more uncomfortable” he passive aggressively comments throwing his arms into the air.

We all just let out breathy laughs and go back to coordinating normal conversation. Not that any of us could really have a normal conversation as our minds had been constantly filled with the conspiracies towards Jason’s death.

“So Archie, how’s your music coming along?” Betty questions the red headed boy sat opposite us. “Yeah it’s good, I’m just really trying to throw myself into writing really, right enough of this sitting around, who wants to get in the water with me?” Archie suggests standing up, Betty, V and Kevin all stand up and follow Archie into the water, all smiles and laughs. I really did love my friends.

“You don’t have to sit here with me because you feel sorry for me you know?” Jughead suddenly snaps looking towards me. “I’m not staying with you because I feel sorry for you, I’m staying here because I enjoy your company dumb ass” I laugh and playfully shove the raven haired boy. He chuckles and grabs my hands to stop me from pushing him. Goose bumps travel up my arms as his hands come into contact with mine. I lean in towards him and let myself collapse in his lap, my head looking up at him, while our hands were still intertwined he fiddled with my fingers.

“I love the way you act around me, you’re just more free” I say looking up at his beautiful face. His green eyes catch mine and he smiles, Not something many people got to see very often, but I had always had the ability to bring it onto his face.

“Well that’s because I’m comfortable with you, I don’t have to pretend to like you it just comes naturally” there was a few minutes silence after his confession, where we just sat enjoying each others company listening to the sounds of our surroundings. You could hear the water splashing and our friends laughs were heard over the buzzing of the nature. It was a truly breathtaking moment in time.

“Do you think we should tell them?” I ask him quietly not wanting to spoil the atmosphere.

“Tell them what?” He replies dumbly knowing exactly what i was talking about, just then he let go of one of my hands and brushed it through my hair, making loops around his fingers with the locks.

“About us” I retort flatly, not taking his sarcasm to heart.

“meh, why do they need to know right now, I don’t care just as long as you’re happy, but not everyone has to know our business, let them just sit and ship us for a while longer” he breaths out.

“yeah it is kinda fun watching them freak out over the little things isn’t it” I giggle and look down at our still intertwined hands. Jug just smiles and nods down at me.

“Right” I sigh standing up and pulling him with me, “take your clothes off we’re going for a swim” He groans in distaste pulling a face but still he shrugs his shirt over his head, kicking off his shoes. I couldn’t help but stare at his body as he removed the layers of clothes. His slightly indented stomach sort of gleamed as the sun hit his skin. He was perfect to me, not completely ripped like Archie, he had a slightly toned lanky figure which suited him well. Once he was ready I lightly pushed him back yelling over my shoulder.

“Race you to the water” I giggle running ahead. It didn’t take long for him to catch up and we joined the others in the water.

“well look who decided to show up” V commented splashing water up at me. I let out a small screech as the cold water splashed up at my body, I just laughed and splashed her back. Bad move. We had started a splashing war between the group, everyone screaming and laughing kicked and thrashing in the water to get everyone wet.

Even Jughead joined in and genuinely looked happy, something that goes a long way in my eyes, I loved to see him happy and smiling, a nice difference from his usual grumpy disposition.

We all carried on messing around in the water for a matter of time, when Betty suggested taking a swim around the lake, Her and Archie swam off and Veronica and Kevin were heavily enthused in competing on ‘who can do the better handstand’

“You wanna take a walk?” Jughead nudges me, his arm comes up to my waist and he tugs me towards the river bank again. I ring out the water from my hair as we walk towards the rock where his clothes were. He just shimmies on his jeans and hands me his flannel shirt, I look up at him and smile, putting the flannel on over my body.

We walk through the forest into a more secluded area, talking about nothing in general. I stop to look at the scenery before us. You could still see the lake peaking through the trees, and sunlight streaking through the gaps of branches. Jughead pulls me towards him by my waist and presses his lips against mine briefly. he pushes his forehead onto mine and breathes out “Beautiful” raising a hand to my face he strokes my cheek, his rough thumb stroking over my bottom lip, I look up into his eyes and notice the contentment in them.

He leans down pressing his lips to mine again, harder than before, his grip around my waist subconsciously tightens. My arms sling around his neck, one hand coming into contact with his face the other falling to the back of his head grasping the wavy raven locks in between my dainty fingers.

He slowly starts to walk me backwards not breaking the kiss until my back hits a tree. Both of his hands now resided on my waist tugging at the shirt he had so graciously handed to me. Our lips moved roughly against each others, both of us pouring our passion into the other person. My hands slipped down from his neck and rested on his smooth chest. Jughead pressed himself closer against me our chests now flush together. I could feel the rough bark from the tree behind me digging into my back. Giving me a slight sensation while our lips were meshed together.

I captured his bottom lip in between my teeth and lightly sucked on it before returning my lips to his. His hands slid round my waist to my lower back where he pulls me closer into his, if that’s even possible. The closeness between us right now was why we enjoyed being with one another, the raw connection we both felt never hesitated to send shivers down my spine.

“Woah! what’s going on here then guys” We hear the smug comment from Veronica, causing us to pull away from each other in shock. she just laughs and shakes her head. “I knew something was going on between you two” and walks away yelling to the others that she had some “big news”

“Well i guess the cats out of the bag then” Jug smiled and looked down at me, still holding onto my waist.

“Do you want me to go and tell her not to say anything?” I enquire looking up to him shyly, not really caring we were caught.

“Nah, let them all see I’m a fool for you” he replies pressing his forehead to mine smiling down at me. I just smile and lean up to press my lips to his once more. This really couldn’t have been a more perfect day.

unconventional things you can do to feel good:
  • listen to any of these songs through a pair of earbuds, turn the volume up, and get down bb. shake ya booty. throw your hands up. get your groove on in the mirror and give no fucks for 3 whole minutes [x] [x] [x] [x]
  • wear a matching set of lingerie or fun, festive boxers (you know the superhero boxers with the capes attatched? those ones) 

  • shave. your legs, your face, your armpits, shave it all off 

  • curl your lashes. you don’t even have to put on mascara. sometimes it’s the little things you learn to appreciate about yourselves 

  • pay for the customer behind you. it’s just something nice you can do while getting coffee. the customer behind you will appreciate it a lot and making others happy tends to make you feel happy too

  • make your bed- but not in the cleaning way. got a super nice matching pillowcase/sheet set? go put that shit on and make your bed feel comfy as possible. throw on all your stuffed animals and lay in one big cuddle puddle. bonus points for taking all the pillows in the house

  • power poses dude. do them! stand with your hands on your hips and chin up high! or if you’re sitting down, spread your legs out wide. make yourself look big. this one usually helps me feel more confident 

  • invite friends over for dinner. make the dinner together. even if you fuck up and it turns out burnt to a crisp and totally inedible, it’s gonna be super fun to make! (you can buy a cheap frozen pizza as a backup ahead of time)

  • change your hair up. cut it. dye it. curl it. crimp it. gel it. shave it if you’re daring enough! temporary dyes are always fun to play with if your hair is light enough. if not, find all the hair clips and pins in the house and stick them on ya! bonus points for going out to the McDonald’s drive thru with friends looking like that. It’ll be a fun time for you and your cashier

  • send your followers nice anons and then look back to see how happy they were to get it! this one is always super nice for everyone 

  • for those of you with longer nails: sharpen them. file them so that they look like cat claws and start ripping paper or drag them along your skin. it feels super weird but in a nice, ticklish way

  • teach yourself how to wink. smooch the mirror after putting on a bright shade of lipstick. twerk it. just have fun and be silly

  • get an eyeshadow palette (something cheaper) and make your brows look THICC. I mean HUGE and DARK. wiggle them in the mirror and take some funny selfies or snaps. send them to your crush and see what they say 

  • go to a thrift store with $10 and see what neat thing you can find! you can treat yourself with a brand new curling iron, clothes, a new blender, or even a fucking COUCH for just $10 if you go to your local goodwill. just go off and venture! you never know what cool items you’ll find and you won’t feel bad about getting it when it costs little to nothing

  • go to a plant nursery and pick up a few nice house plants. I bought 3 nice house plants for just 9 bucks when I was sad one day and now I have a bunch of fresh herbs that make my room smell awesome 

I think one of the things that makes Azula so amazing as a villain and a character is that her breakdown is foreshadowed by her earliest episodes. All the pieces are on the board at the very start, you just don’t realize it. So when the breakdown comes it’s all full of callbacks to earlier behavior and it suddenly feels utterly natural that this person you’ve seen as a nigh-untouchable badass mastermind is coming so undone. It doesn’t come out of nowhere, it was there all along from the very start and we simply forgot about it in the interim because she was being so badass and it had no reason to take effect just yet.

–Her speech to the captain about the tides foreshadows her banishing all her servants and advisors. The captain is totally honest with her despite being scared, that they’re not bringing the ship in just yet because of an issue with the tides. Tides are BIG deal in regards to bringing in a ship but Azula doesn’t care and simply wants her will done now and makes it clear she will harm or kill the captain if he doesn’t do the thing he knows is a bad idea. The man is not delaying for silly reasons or to hide a mistake, he is genuinely making a sound decision about how to bring a ship into port, Azula simply doesn’t care she wants what she wants done now and treats disagreement as disloyalty. Azula perceives anyone subordinate as not doing what she wants for any reason at all to be proof they’re not perfectly loyal.

–The one hair out of place with Lo and Li training her. It shows Azula as a perfectionist, and again, as a control freak. She cares about appearences, which probably ties into her status as a prodigy who has long been praised for being such. She needs to make it look effortless and perfect. But after Boiling Rock this starts to slide. In The Southern Raiders he hair comes down fully during her fight with Zuko and she doesn’t even care–hell, she can’t do anything to fix it since she needs her hand to hang onto the mountain. Then in the finale her hair is an utter disaster, showing just how far she’s fallen. Once again it fully comes down while she’s fighting, and by the time the fight is over and Katara has her restrained she’s a total mess.

–Recruiting Ty Lee. This is where we should have known from the start that Ty Lee’s loyalty to Azula is not absolute by any means. Ty Lee wanted to stay with the circus and only left because of Azula clearly threatening her by having the net set on fire. We see it again in Zuko Alone’s flashbacks, where Azula is obviously jealous of Ty Lee being able to do better gymnastics than her and bullies her for it. Ty Lee is only with Azula out of fear and always has been. Of course if it came down to Azula or Mai she’d choose Mai.

–Recruiting Mai. It’s even more subtle than with Ty Lee but they show why Mai will eventually betray Azula in the same episode Mai debuts in. When Tom-Tom, Mai’s little brother, is in danger and a hostage, Azula makes it clear she doesn’t give a shit about that and that the deal should be off Mai’s not as open as Ty Lee is so she doesn’t seem to react as much but it’s the same situation. Azula wants Mai on her team and doesn’t care what happens to people Mai probably cares about. Thing is, the person Mai cares about most is Zuko, who Azula is hunting. Mai betraying Azula for Zuko becomes more and more of a given as the show establishes Mai’s feelings for him. Meanwhile Azula probably assumed that if Mai was willing to endanger her own little brother for Azula, there would be no conflicts of loyalty regarding Zuko…and was wrong. As Mai said, she miscalculated.

It was all there right from the start of season 2.

Mock up the courage

Bucky x reader

Notes: fluff, just pure fluff. 

A/N: Bucky is tired and needy and just wants to cuddle. (who. fuckin’. wouldn’t?!)

Originally posted by sebastianobrien

If there was ever something more adorable than Bucky being tired or in any way not feeling well, you’d never seen it. Now, the serum made sure he was never not feeling well, but it didn’t help exhaustion after a week long mission with only 2 hours of sleep a day.

This is why he came stumbling into your floor, somehow overriding every security protocol with his left over spy-skills, calling out your name at two in the morning.

Actually, it was more like a drawn out whine.

Keep reading

The first time I tried to come out to someone I was ten years old and in primary school.
I told a person who was supposed to be one of my best friends. She listened.
The next day when I came to school she had told the twins; my other friends and they all laughed at me and avoided me for days on end. I knew there was something wrong with me then, see!?? So I told them I was just joking and of course I didn’t like girls that way, I’M NOT GAY!
The next time I tried, I told my cousin, my other best friend. She didn’t say a lot about it and just kind of changed the subject. The next time I saw her she asked me if I was being serious with a screwed up look on her face that hit me in the gut like disgust. I felt so sick, am I sick?! There is something so wrong with me. I told her no, of course I wasn’t, I’M NOT GAY, NO REALLY, DEFINITELY!
I started high school desperately trying to be cool, to be normal, to just fit in, why couldn’t I be like all of them? Every now and then someone in the halls would call me a fucking lesbian. It took me right back to those laughs that I heard when I was ten. I was still friends with the same girls who’s laugher haunted me and one night I slept over at their house. They had a brother who was a couple of years older and I thought I might have had a crush on him. It was juvenile wishful thinking. I ended up in his room with the door closed, in the darkness putting his dick in my mouth. After that I asked if I could go home because I was homesick - but I was just sick, I didn’t like anything about him or his dick. I felt so empty and so alone knowing that I was not normal, I was not like any of them. I sat in the bathtub with the door locked at 1am brushing my teeth and trying to erase the stain of what happened.
I came to school on Monday, and people were looking at me. They were talking behind hands and snickering. Someone had told someone and then someone told everyone and they all knew. My mind flew out the second story window in math as a girl passed me a note telling me I was gross and a fucking slut. If anything I thought it would shut them all up? Isn’t that what normal girls do, they like boys and they don’t leave their balls blue?! I had no idea what in the fuck I was supposed to do.
I drifted away from them all, I’d still see them in the halls but we hardly ever talked anymore. I found out that there were certain boys that stayed seperate from the jocks, and their flocks, so I started hanging out with them. They didn’t really care about much of anything and for once I felt a tiny bit of what I thought was belonging. Of course I engaged in ridiculous dating charades where I was one of their girlfriends. We’d occasionally kiss and hold hands and that was it, and I thought it might finally look like I fit. But I still heard it, from time to time “HEY DYKE, ARE YOU A LEMON OR A LIME?” I’d just put my head down and hide. I’d hide behind my boyfriend who was sweet and kind and dopey and gentle, even though most days he kind of drove me mental.
One day there was a new guy at school, I saw him before roll call in the hall and thought he looked cool. Later that day in science, he was sitting opposite me, and I smiled, he smiled back. We’re still friends and it’s about fourteen years down the track - how did we get to that? Well…
The next time I came out it was to him, and he told me he was the same as me. Of course I chose to come out under the label of bisexuality, because I still thought guys were kind of cute and it provided me with a shield of a certain safety and half normality. He didn’t flinch or cringe or look at me with hate, he just said he was the same, and my shame started to deflate a little. I started to breathe full breaths for the first time in so long, and I started to believe maybe I wasn’t so fucking wrong.
The next time I tried to come out to somebody I was sixteen and it was my mother. I’d spent years in torture and isolation trying to figure myself out, who I really was, what it was all about. I told her I was bi and she was quiet for a while. After I prompted her for a response she said “but how do you know?” with a condescending smile. She told me I was young, and that I hadn’t even slept with anyone so how could I possibly know what I am?? Rage is the only thing I could feel at that stage, HOW COULD I KNOW WHAT I AM? The same way you knew you weren’t what I am, that’s how. I’ve spent years hating myself for being this way, and this is the stupidity I’m faced with now? Like I had just flippantly decided that I would announce something I wasn’t even sure of? I was floored, and thus thereafter the topic was purposefully ignored. The silence said all I needed to know, this was something I just wasn’t supposed to show, it’s just one of those things that was a no go. Certain people could be trusted with my secret, the thing that people didn’t seem to want to see, but I had to be very careful about who that would be.
So I shut it down and compartmentalised my difference and tried to survive. Three years went by before I opened that door again, to a trusted friend. I never intended to tell her, but she asked me in a way that seemed so tender, there were no teeth waiting to bite me, and even though it frightened me I told her. She didn’t even care, she was just curious, maybe she was questioning things in herself like some of us do. That was the first time I really knew that I wasn’t my shame and I wasn’t my pain and I wasn’t some thing to be hidden away. I decided then to be more open. To live authentically and do what felt right for me. But I still remained private about it unless asked explicitly - then I would answer as honestly as I knew how, because truthfully I’m still figuring all of it out. I’ve learned so much about diversity and gender and sexual identity and sometimes I find the right words that seem to fit, and other times the pressure of a label exhausts me and I get sick of it.
Sick of trying to classify myself under certain banners, sick of people asking things without any thought of manners.
I know on the grand spectrum of things I am not at all like them, I fall somewhere else along the Kinsey scale. Maybe that means in a way I fail the people like me, because I can’t cement things or write it in concrete and sign it to make it complete. Or that sometimes I still find myself in certain situations where I’m being discreet, holding my candour for fear of ramifications and slander. Maybe I’m not full of pride, maybe because for so long all I could do was hide. This makes me feel so guilty, I should be proud of who I am unapologetically! Not just for me but for the sake of visibility, so that maybe more people can see - we aren’t wrong, we don’t have any agenda other than to be able to be! Just to be; to live with an open vulnerability and tranquility and to be able to do it safely!! I’m sorry, that I could not join in on the pride but maybe you’ll know why; it’s hard to celebrate something that for most of your life you’ve had to justify to people, to justify to yourself, for most of your life you’ve carefully withheld.
— 

“Internalised Homophobia - Where Is My Pride?”

Pride month is such a wonderful thing and I know it is over now but it inspired me to share this. It’s intensely personal, not very well written and lengthy, but I wanted to be able to share some of my experiences regarding this topic. In no way do I speak for the whole LGBT+ community in this post and it’s simply a personal journey that I wrote out for catharsis. 

  • Teacher: Alright, for career day, Ruby's uncle, Qrow Branwen will be speaking. He's a huntsman! Everyone say hello to Mr. Branwen!
  • Students: Hi Mr. Branwen-
  • Ruby: HI UNCLE QROW!!!!
  • Qrow, pulling out a flask: Alright kids. Do any of you want to be huntsmen or huntresses?
  • Some students: *Raise their hands*
  • Ruby: *Hops up in down in her seat as she rockets her hand up*
  • Qrow: Alright, the first thing you've got to know about my line of work is that picking your health insurance plan is very important. Now I know that going with the one that just covers combat injuries seems like a good idea, but it's NOT.
  • Qrow: *Swigs from flask*
  • Teacher: Um, Mr. Branwen, what are you dr-
  • Qrow: Vodka.
  • Qrow: Anyways, as I was saying. People you know are going to DIE. People you care about are going to LEAVE YOU. And when you eventually turn to alcohol, and you WILL-
  • Qrow: *Takes a swig*
  • Qrow: -You're going to go too far one night and need to get your stomach pumped, and that shit is EXPENSIVE. And then-
  • Teacher: Um, sir-
  • Qrow: Hold on, lemme finish. And then you're going to be hard on cash and have to crash at an old friend's house while you do wet work for Atlas of all kingdoms in an attempt to scrounge up enough money to get back on your feet. And you'll have to work with WINTER MOTHERFUCKING SCHNEE.
  • Teacher: Mr. Branwen, I think it's time for you to-
  • Ruby: TELL THEM THE STORY ABOUT THE BLONDE AMPUTEE GIRL!
  • Qrow: Oh yeah, that's the other thing about your health insurance. If you're ever going to Atlas, make sure your insurance covers STI's. There was this one time,
  • Teacher: Qrow Branwen! These kids are in 6th grade!
  • Qrow: 6th grade? Ruby, you're almost in middle school! Man, the time sure does fly.

anonymous asked:

ooh what are your Hunk hc's??

oooh nice i’m gonna have so much fun answering this ok nice thank u anon bless u

- he can’t spend money on himself for shit!! not even necessities!! he’s like: (stares at the grocery list of food items he needs to Survive™) “ok but like…. i have a plum in my fridge at home. i don’t need all of this? i’ll be fine” he does need it. he won’t be fine. lance has started tagging along when hunk goes grocery shopping bc he just won’t buy anything for himself otherwise!! he’ll buy gifts for his friends without a second thought though. like. he won’t even plan on it he’s just like: “oh my god that’s such a shiny knife. keith would love that.” he knows keith has too many knives already and probably doesn’t need any more but? it doesn’t stop him from knowing that keith would love that knife specifically. he’s gotta buy it for him. he’s just gotta. (he was right. keith did love it. he’s so great at gifts.)

- he’s a Cat Magnet™. he sits and then there are ten cats using him as a bed. they’re on his shoulders, on his chest, his lap, his face. he doesn’t know who they are or where they came from. he doesn’t question it. he just lives like this.

- he loves painting his nails and he’s really good at it! he works hard to make them all perfect but he doesn’t really mind much when they get messed up.


- sometimes he zones out when people complain to him and when he finally zones back in he’s just like “dump him.” as if he were paying complete attention. even if what they were complaining about had nothing to do with anything that that would possibly solve. his friends always accept that as great advice though.

- he honestly… has the best puns. whenever someone (besides lance. lance is the only exception. no one knows when they established that but they’ve just accepted it by now) insults his puns the entire team is on them like “what the fuck did you just say? we have a giant robot that could kick your ass! we have five lions (part of the robot) that could also kick your ass! yea… you better be careful… asshole.”

- the true Mr. Mystery. reveals nothing about himself, acts like he has nothing to hide. no one suspects a thing

- he can play any instrument by ear! like he’ll just pick it up and bam. it’s perfect. pidge has had five years of piano lessons and could never hope to be as good as he is. she’s not sure if she should be totally pissed or completely in awe. he can’t read music though

- he just has that aura™ that tells you he’s a nice person that you should totally befriend. he doesn’t have to approach people to make friends, because they all approach him

- also he’ll totally talk to cashiers for you if you’re too anxious. he’s a ball of anxiety himself but like? he’s just “screw you anxiety i’m helping my friend and there’s nothing u can do about it”

- anyway i love him

I wonder if it would be wrong of me to try and finance enough money to be able to go back to college. See heres the thing, I originally had a full ride to University of Oregon right, I didn’t have to pay a dime, all I had to do was keep my grades up and attend classes and I’d get to attend any class I wanted to at their expense. 

But here’s the thing, I started to get really sick, both physically and mentally, and there were several really close deaths in my family at the same time, so I just couldn’t attend class because I was too sick, I was too psychotic [literally, I’m schizophrenic they didn’t know at the time so I wasn’t getting treatment], and was grieving the loss of some close family members, so I couldn’t make the attendance record, so my scholarship was taken away, but that isn’t the problem.

The problem is I owe University of Oregon itself $12,891.65 for not showing up to classes.

And the problem with this is, until I pay this off I can never go back to any college ever again, because FAFSA will not give you a loan unless you send all of your transcripts to the university you want to attend, and University of Oregon has frozen my transcripts.

I attempted to apply to a nearby university here, they accepted me, but said they couldn’t register me for classes or get me funding via federal aid until I sent my University of Oregon transcripts, they said this was the case with any university I would ever attempt to apply to. 

I worked so hard to be so near graduation, and all those courses that had already been paid for are frozen because of one term where I got too sick to function. 

It’s my dream to study physics and mathematics at school, I’m really interested in these fields, and I’m devastated that I’ll never be able to go to university ever again, because of this. I just wanted to go to school and learn about things I’m interested in, and now I never can again.

… would it be appropriate to try and raise money over the course of years via this blog to try and go back to university one day in the future, or is that selfish of me? I honestly don’t know, there’s just so many other people who need money to survive, and I just want money to go back to school, so I don’t know.

Like I don’t care how long it takes to raise it … I just ….. want to go back to school eventually, and every month they add 87 dollars to the total.

I’m disabled and on SSI so I can’t ever pay this back by myself, it is literally impossible. Is it selfish of me to make a youcaring for this and advertise it on this blog? Again I don’t care how long it takes I just want to go back to school sometime in my life?

Alright, I watched all the interviews of the cast and I have to say that yes, the stupid song and the comments that followed it were the worst part, but honestly, all the interviews were such a mess and so unprofessional. They kept messing around saying stupid things and not actually answering any question??? It was honest to god embarrassing to watch. 

All of this doesn’t concerne Katie, David and Odette. They were very nice and were actually giving serious answers even tho they kept asking them the same two questions over and over again. And also, Katie validated, again, ALL the fans and ALL the ships right after that ugly song and embarrassed all of them in doing so. A Legend. And she thanked more than once the fans for the response to her character and was actually the only one to openly welcome Odette in the show. She is the only one worthy of respect, always and forever.

I also want to say that if Chyler were there, and Floriana too (I know a lot of you don’t like her for a number of reasons but still, she always validated her fans), thing would have gone differently and it would have been glorious to have Katie and Chyler talking with passion about their characters because they understand them and care so much about them and their story.

I am so bitter right now. I expected a big mess, yes, but a whole different kind of mess. They didn’t even allowed the fans to ask relevant questions because they are cowards. That’s it.  

The only positive thing that we got out of this is Katie being her amazing self and showing once again to everyone how to handle correctly all the different views that people might have without invalidating any of them.

i. this is not about you.

ii. my insides are like paper - paper that’s been burned for a bit and now it has shriveled up, and i try to put down my matches but you tell me you need the fire for warmth.

iii. i guess you’re not the type of person to see these things but i’ve always been the one who does more, cares more, hurts more.

iv. but you don’t even want to know, right?

v. the truth is bitter, like steaming hot morning coffee - but then again, you always take yours with sugar.

vi. i lied.

—  coffee stains

hey everyone! this is kinda serious so i’d appreciate if you read this post and spread it around so more people see it.

someone is trying to imitate “operation shalanonymous” and they seem to be more insidious than minty or the-coolest-shaladin were when they infiltrated our server. if you’re unaware, “operation shalanonymous” was an orchestrated infiltration of several anti servers in order to spy on and “expose” antis in their own supposedly safe discord servers.

now this is happening again. tumblr user theshalasecret is already inside a server, and one screenshot has already been posted. they’re trying to keep this hush-hush, but i don’t want the same thing to happen over again. people were hurt very badly last time, and this does not need to keep happening.

so to everyone in an anti server:

  • don’t post any personal information in general-access channels
  • stop posting selfies
  • be careful about what you say, because the user may use it against you
  • double-check who is in your server currently, and avoid letting in new people for now unless you know them personally
  • screen every single person in your group; don’t trust anyone who has joined a server since at least july 13 (the date of theshalasecret’s first post–you might want to be extra careful and be wary of people who have joined before that date)

please be safe, and don’t let this shitshow repeat itself!