things i would eat

the onion thing would make sense because i used to eat raw onions like apples when i was a kid so i guess thats why i became a transgender

Neil is probably the worst person to watch action movies with tbh, like the protagonist probably snaps an extra’s neck with one hand or something and he just barely looks up from his phone and goes “unrealistic”

Pasta Emoji Ratings

A classic, nice simple sauce, would eat this no problem. Probably tastes pure and the kids would love it. 7/10

Fun, simple, but dangerously close to Mac n Cheese with that level of orange saturation. They would probably steal your labeled food from the fridge, simply shameful. Not sure what the purple spots are either, not sure if i’d eat this one. 5/10


Shameful, it appears to be a few noodles left on a plate, what a waste. Would not eat someone’s leftovers. 0/10

Elegant, simple, modern. Reminiscent of a pizza, which is a fresh new way to approach the subject. The stray noodle is a little worrying, but for the most part they’re a hardworking, well put together pasta. Would hang this up in my modern art gallery. 8/10

Not sure how to feel about this one. While the sauce is one of the best renditions I’ve seen, beautiful detail, the rest of the dish is lacking. The leaves look dangerous, like those delinquents that try to roll with the pure kids, but we’re onto them. I love the symmetry of the three noodles rising from the sauce, would eat them for sure. Not so sure about the rest. 6/10

Fake. This obviously canned pasta is trying to play itself off as genuine, unforgivable. While the taste is probably fine, a pasta you’d let your daughter hang out with, it doesn’t excuse the fact that it’s a filthy liar. would not eat for fear of my health. 2/10 

A very small noodle, good with young children, tries their best at all times. It has the perfect portion of sauce for such a tiny thing, and it deserves all it can get. I would eat this, but gently, as not to intimidate it. 9/10

Magnificent! Tasty! A real winner of a dish! The attention to detail and shading simply astonishes me. This dish is to die for, and the kind you’d bring home to your mother. Simply lovely, would definitely eat. 10/10

This is just abhorrent, not tasty at all. The choice of thick white noodles surrounded by a yellow liquid, while an interesting take, is incredibly inaccurate and tasteless. Would not eat, especially with that trident thing. 1/10

flavourless, an absolute bore of a dish. White I appreciate the detail of the cell shaded noodles, they lack charisma and courage. Would be a true pure friend, someone you can rely on, but very easily manipulated and a momma’s boy. Need’s more saturation if it want’s to roll with the big boys. 4/10. 

I feel like this is a failed attempt at what HTC excelled at. The abstract look they’re going for just doesn’t execute well at all. And that black border feel’s very threatening and hostile, as if I’m not allowed to eat it. The kind of pasta who has problems with it’s masculinity. Probably wouldn’t eat. 3/10

Why the fuck is there chocolate syrup on my pasta. 0/10

8

Come on Dean, we know you love it

i spent 4578 yen to celebrate valentine’s day reading nothing but manga…

ewq1111  asked:

Just don’t let America know what are Rocky Mountain oysters.

CAN: Why would you bring this up?!??

Bonus:

Give me a Harry Potter who…

  • Is not “sex on legs”, but rather is occasionally a bit awkward and doesn’t know what to do with people fawning over his appearance
  • who is strong, and lithe, and flexible with amazing balance and core strength but doesn’t have a perfect “Quidditch toned body”
  • whose hair doesn’t look like he just had sex but rather looks completely wild and unkempt 
  • a harry who has to remind himself that he’s not short still because he can’t get used to his sudden growth spurt and being almost as tall as Malfoy 
  • whose hands are rough, his fingers calloused from Quidditch and holding his wand too tight

Just…give me a Harry Potter who isn’t sex personified but rather is awkward and nervous but also brave and sarcastic and kind and powerful; a Harry whose personality is more important than his looks, whose personality is exactly the thing that makes Malfoy think he’s the sexiest thing hes ever seen

why this always happen…(I’m amused) I culd go bald they would still think I probably just changed browshape or smthng.

4

OH HEY MORE FANART bc i have no chill and also because this fic is currently my lifeblood

based off of that really angsty chapter from that baseball au fic by @moreracquetball that i can’t get enough of

Ringtone

Warnings: Fluff? Seriously, it got out of control with this one

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Shawn doesn’t believe it when Brian tells him what your ringtone is. So, being the scientist that he is, he tests it out.

A/N: wrote this as an apology for how long it’s taking part 4 of tattoos to come out, please forgive me :) fyi it’s coming out on Sunday the 29th (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (as you can see, I’m so not excited) 

Also, if you like this, send me ur fav Shawn quote whether it be lyric or some random shit he’s said

Masterlist


“Why don’t you believe me? It’s true!” Brian exclaimed, his voice slightly muffled to Shawn since it was a phone call.

“Cause I know her ringtone. It is not one of my songs.” He said, confident in his knowledge.

“Well, she changed it since you’ve started the tour. It’s an acoustic version too. Sometimes it sounds like you’re singing it right there. Probably why she has it. Since I’ve been staying at the apartment, it’s all I hear cause you keep calling her. If you don’t believe me, then come see for yourself. Aren’t you coming next week?” 

Keep reading

“I’m sure there’s someone out there who’ll take off the ketchup, rip me with her hands… and eat me right”

If Denny’s had an nsfw tumblr…
…I’m afraid this is the kind of content we’d see.

3

Today’s archived Werehog is a hodgepodge of randomness, mainly because I thought I was going to be busy doing something else today.

It also happens to include fictional hedgehogs doing things that real hedgehogs do, like anointing, getting stuck in paper tubes, and eating birds.

The Amy one has to do with someone telling me how their hedgehog anointed itself with strawberry yogurt and became pink all over as a result.

Okay if anyone actually thinks that the BMoL are offering a “better way,” and that thoughtlessly eliminating “every vampire in America” is actually a good thing, you can go eat worms. 

For proof of this, I would like to quote Mr. Sam Fucking Winchester from Season 2 Episode 4, Bloodlust:

Sam: No, Dean, that is not our job. Our job is hunting evil. And if these things aren’t killing people, they’re not evil!

Sam knows the BMoL’s blanket “exterminate all the monsters” plan is fucking wrong.

Dean knows the plan is fucking wrong.

I can’t wait for Mary to learn this lesson.

Cinema Sins starters

“I’ll tell you everything wrong with ___ in less than ___ minutes.”
“The first problem is that you exist,”
“This scene does not include a lap dance and I’m disappointed.”
“Stealing by accident is still stealing.”
“You’re enunciating through your nose.”
“Apparently saying 'I don’t know’ in a lecture about the pyramids is a huge no-no.”
“Oh. Awesome. Could you be a little more vague?”
“I have never heard anyone use that pronunciation in my life.”
“Only dopey nerds have allergies.”
“You know you’re a workaholic when getting called back to work is the only thing that can snap you out of your deep depression caused by your son accidentally killing himself.”
“The hell? Do you even coffee?”
“You brought in  an expert to help you decipher the code but you didn’t show him everything? The fuck kind of logic are you following?”
“He’s drawing on the screen with a permanent marker!”
“And so he owned it. But he was stupid, so he put it in storage.”
“First of all, that was morbid.”
“You look beautiful and all, but maybe now’s not the right time to be posing or photos.”
“You’re not even offering anything? Just an open hand of gentrification?”
“Yes, the questions was lame, but you didn’t have to be such a dick-tard about it.”
“I’m killing, smoking, and having everyone else do the work. You really have to appreciate my growth into a beautiful person.”
“That guy may have a big dick, but he also IS a big dick. Dick.”
“That’s like recycling all the onscreen actions of Two Girls, One Cup.”
“That’s the ‘I’m totally in love with them but have no chance’ face.”
“BDSM isn’t open during business hours.”
“I know you’re comically inept so I’ll let this one go.”
“Bonding by way of vandalism. Hmm- Bondalism?”
“That’s the fancy way of saying you killed him.”
“Sure, the one thing…. the ONE THING you had to do in the middle of a kidnapping plot is to fire a flare up in the goddamn air.”
“Your friend is the valedictorian of this school? How badly did everyone else fuck up for them to become the valedictorian?”
“To be fair, those birds shouldn’t be chirping. They should be eating that person I killed.”
“Not even the wind or that Bronco could undo the mid-life crisis look in your hair.”
“Nothing good happens when it involves gloves and a Bronco.”
“You’re perfect, in a perfect home and likely have a perfect florist, so why  not buy the real thing instead of a painting?”
“She was taking that dog to wherever as an accessory, which makes her an awful person and thus rightly tortured for the rest of her life.”
“You even walk like a thoroughbred horse at the Kentucky Derby.”
“Bow down, bitches.”
“Have you see the shit down here? We don’t need no parental advisory.”
“Please tell me she didn’t flood the city again just to make this video.”
“Ooooh, it’s a metaphor.”
“These are some stupid rules.”
“I would hope the things you eat didn’t complain, because they should be already dead.”