“So, are we gonna go to your place after this?” she asks.
Met her this month. It’s been rough, really. Seven months, seven girls. But I have a good feeling about her.
I come back to reality with a start. “Oh, um, oh. Sorry, I uh, was distracted by your… your eyes.”
Grey-green. God’s gift to her. And me.
She laughs. Rests her chin on the back of her hand. She’s tempting me, and by God it’s working.
“So?” Jessica asks.
“Uh, so what?” Smooth.
“Are we going to your place?”
I hesitate. Going back to my place is the last thing I want to do. She licks her lips while I waste seconds, blinks three times, coughs into her hand, then blinks two more times. I cannot take my eyes off her.
“Well, um, I have some, you know, cleaning up to do, and I’m not really sure if…” I unravel my excuse. “I mean, you’re place is fine.”
“Oh, come on! We’ve been going to my place for weeks,” she pouts. “It’s getting kind of… boring.”
The waiter comes around with our orders. Thank God. Maybe now, she’ll…
“So? What about it?” she asks.
“Uh, well, maybe…” What could go wrong? Maybe it’ll be okay. I notice her smile, that dazzling smile, start to wilt. “Well, um, yeah, sure. Why not?” The corners of her mouth go right back up.
The jazz band plays on as we talk. About things.
“You know, I never asked you. Did you have anyone before me?”
“Don’t worry. I’ve told you before, I’ve had my fair share of women as well.”
She laughs, I guess to break the tension. “Yeah, a few.”
“They treated you alright?”
“Some of them, yeah. Nothing much. It’s in the past anyway.”
I don’t know what to say. I have my lips half parted. Instead, I close them, put my hand over hers. There are just some things that don’t need to be said. Five minutes of silence between us. Five minutes of heaven.
“So, your place?” she asks.
I nearly have a breakdown then and there. I pull myself together. “Mhm, yeah, just have to pay for this. God damnit, why do they take so long with the bill?”
Took them another fifteen minutes to bring the bill over, another five to pay. Never going there again. The drive over to my place was long and silent. She was looking at me the whole time. I guess she could see me hyperventilating.
“God damn, I must look like a creep, don’t I?” I joke.
At least I did something right. We were laughing all the five minutes it took us to reach my place.
“Nah, nah, I understand. You’re nervous.” she says as she climbs out of the car.
When I open the door, she starts laughing again. “Where’s that mess you were talking about?” The place was spotless.
We sit down in front of the television, watch some soap opera. I’m not even paying attention. All I can feel is the warmth of her body curled up against me. I didn’t want to lose her. I couldn’t lose her.
The credits roll. “Would you mind me sleeping over tonight?” asks Jessica.
I want to say no. Please, just let me say no. “Yeah, why not?”
We talk a bit before we go to sleep. “So, what about the first one?” she asks.
“The-the first one? The first one of what?” I ask her.
“The first girl you ever met. The only one you ever married?” she replies.
“Oh, um, yeah. What about her?”
“How was she? How did you and her…”
“She… she was the best woman I ever met. Just like you. She loved me. Not just my looks, she loved my personality. She was always interested in me, the things I did, where I went, what I did. She was always there to support me. I guess that’s why I married her.”
“How did she leave you?” asks Jessica.
“She… didn’t. She fell down the stairs. Broke her neck.”
“What, I… I’m so sorry.”
“No, no, it’s not your fault. It’s okay,” I sigh. “You know, she was always so possessive. Almost never left my side. I never though that I would be the one to lose her. She was so possessive.”
Jessica’s breathing slows down, becomes deep and uniform. Fast asleep.
“She still is,” I mutter.
I have trouble falling asleep that night. I just stare at the ceiling, listening to Jessica’s breathing. Maybe it would be alright.
When I wake up, Jessica was rolled away from me. I pray. I pray for ten long minutes. Then finally, I reach out with my hand, search for her. Touch a cold, still mass.
I start to cry. Cold, dead tears roll down my face. I sit up, turn her over, stare into her face, her bloody, empty eye sockets.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have,” I speak to her corpse. I understand once again the meaning of too little, too late. Like I have seven times before. The ninth girl I ever loved, the eighth girl that died by my hands, dead because I couldn’t help myself.
It’s in the corner. Like always. I turn to face it. A black, rotting body covered in writhing shadows. A bent and twisted neck.
“Why? Why?” I scream at it. “If you ever loved me, you’d let me move on. Why wont you let me move on!?”
It doesn’t speak. Just floats there. Watching me with, dull, glassy, unmoving eyes. There’s no point in reasoning with it. It’s not her, I tell myself. It’s just a spirit, a part of her. A part that refuses to let me fucking move on.
There’s no point. I turn away and pick up the eighth girl. No, not the eighth girl. Jessica. I pick up Jessica.
I drive for three straight hours. Take the shovel out of the back. Dig the eighth grave. Bury my mistake.
And try to prepare for the mistakes that are yet to happen.
I watch as Phil records his video from behind the camera. His dark black hair lays gracefully across his forehead and his adorable laughter fills the air. Phil Lester. My cush, my soulmate. io wanted to do things to him, dirty things. I lick my lips. “Well, I’ll seE you next time!” Phil finishes and I snap back to reality to turn off the recording. “So, what did you think, Dan?” He asks and I smirk. “Great as usual Phill!” I congradulate him and he gives me a sexy ass smile. I suddenly feel an urge grow over me. My face turns dark…
I give him a thankful smile and open my eyes to see Dan with a dark face. He starts creeping over to me. “D…Dan?” I stutter and he pins me to my bed. I squirm to get free but his strong arms keep my body down. “Phill…” he purrs and licks my cheek. What was he doing?!?!?!? he reached my neck and starts to suck on it, making me loudly cry out. “Dan, w…why are you doing this?” I cry and he just schoffs. “I Love you Phil. Now be a good little doll….” He tells me and reaches his hand into my boxers. He starts tickling my “THING”. I moan loudly. “I knew you enjoyed it….” He whispered into my ear softly and I bite my lip. He starts Pulling down my pants when….
A MASSIVE LION EMERGES FROM MY BODY AND EATS HIM ALIVE.