things i think about when watching doctor who

a theory...

so you know how 12 was like ready to die at the space station, he said to himself “let go Doctor…time enough” and he did, but then again when in the TARDIS he woke up and started going through lines of previous doctors and the last one he said was “when the doctor was me” he changed his mind. So when I was watching that scene, in my head I imagined that he was also halucinating/having flashback of those moments. Ten obviously was alone but Eleven had Clara… and what was the last thing she said when Eleven was about to change…


and I think Twelve  seeing this…internalized this… it is then when Twelve repeats Eleven’s lines again and he is determined not to change “I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. CHANGE!” 

animasmind  asked:

Heyo cookie o7 ! First thing first, I hope you're feeling a little better, I saw on Twitter you had been sick the past 2 days. Second what is your favorite series ? Like Ncis, Game of Thrones and the like, do you have one you would bingewatch anyday/time/ even in a zombiepocalypse ?

Yea’ a bit. At least mah fever is gone and i’m not dizzy anymore! Thanks a lot for caring !  (ↀДↀ)✧ I sincerely appreciate this !

Hmm mah fav series? (・∀・)  I’m not a lot into it but i would say many stuff from BBC (like doctor who,sherlock and Hannibal)  Then i’m a huge fan of Psych (that nobody never remember) and hmmm..i think that’s it.I don’t watch Tv shows that much.

 the most recent i watched were Fargo and It’s always sunny in philadelphia which were pretty good too ! but i lost interest in the last wahn when i saw somewahn i didn’t like draw fan arts about it. 

And i guess the one i could watch wahn hundred times are Psych and the mentalist. I have a thing for that kind of series hahaha !

what do you fall for? (5)

Words: 4326

Warnings: injury, blood, cursing

Tags:  @ccecode @ichbindeindod @animediac @sarahgurl09 @an-enigmatic-avenger @lunaaugurium @insaneisthenewsane @interwebseriesfan24 @terminallyvolatile 

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Martha Dandridge was a scientist. But, not like the usual scientists. The ones that do experiments in secret for the government to advance their military, type of scientist. It wasn’t her dream job, but she did love it. Normal people have only heard of superhuman abilities in comics or in theory, but she never thought it would be true. And she definitely didn’t think she’d be one of the few to see it actually happen.

Her boss brought it up to her one day. “Martha,” he said, “I have a job for you. It pays well, but you would have to move to Washington DC. You would have to leave your family behind.”

It took her a few minutes to decided to pack up all of her things and leave. She left Virginia behind, and went straight to the capital. Her boss told her it was a secret job, and he thought she was the best qualified. So what would stop her from just leaving? Her family was fine without her, and she needed a different outlook on life.

So she went. When she first arrived, the officials didn’t trust her with what they were hiding from the public. She had to go through several polygraphs and other tests to make sure she wouldn’t tell a soul. She passed. Every single one.

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@haywarde37, once again making all of our smutty, NSFW dreams come true <3 send them ur love n gratitude!!!

((Let my legacy be MSR smut))

If they ever broke up, Mulder’s sex life would be doomed because no one but Scully made the words “refractory period” sound sexy. Everything she said or did made him hard from watching her type up summations at work to hearing her talk dirty. They’d only been sleeping together for a week but he wanted to fuck her at every given opportunity. It was the most exquisite form of torture.

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On Bill and Her Blackness

I wrote a little bit about this on Twitter, but I want to elaborate a little.

When Pearl Mackie was cast as Bill, I think the second thing a Black Whovian felt after excitement, was concern. Concern with how well Bill – a black, queer, woman – would be written, in general. And concern with how her Blackness would be addressed within the story. The degree to which Black people think about race obviously varies between individuals, but it’s a hard thing not to think about when you consider Doctor Who is a show where time-travel exists and travelling to the past is a near-certainty. It’s never a concern for white companions, because, you know they will largely move throughout the past unhindered, even being women. But it’s impossible to ignore the implications of having a Black, female companion travelling in time.

Even before I started watching the show, I was aware that there had been Black companions. I knew that time-travel was apart of the story, so I immediately questioned how those character navigated in different time periods as Black people. Anti-blackness is a huge part of our collective past and it seemed unavoidable. Ignoring characters’ Blackness would be poor storytelling at best and completely disrespectful at worst. I believe, for the most part, the show tried to approach race in a respectful way.

RTD did a decent job tackling Martha’s Blackness in their travels to the past. Where Shakespeare and Co. largely ignored it – and the Doctor treated it like a non-issue – in ‘The Shakespeare Code’, it influenced a lot about the way Martha was treated in ‘Human Nature’ and ‘The Family of Blood.’ Although we see milder forms of discrimination in the latter two episodes, the treatment of Martha as both a female and a black person was heavily implied through dialogue. We know she was treated horribly because, of the setting. The show did not focus on her oppression, but it did not minimize her experience by outright ignoring it.

More on Martha later, though.

Moffat didn’t have any Black/POC companions, so how he’d approach the situation isn’t clear. However, a lot can be inferred by how he approaches “otherness” in general. I am not a fan of how he treats any character who is not a straight, white, male. I don’t believe he would’ve been able to address any -isms (race, sex, able-, etc) with the sympathy or care that they’d require. I’m not entirely sure that he is responsible for addressing it, now.

Bill has so far been allowed to be explicitly Black. Her Blackness isn’t just a detail, like her height or eye color, it is an element of who she is that influences how she acts and how people act towards her. In a "post-racial” future, being Black or Indian or Chinese may be the same as being tall, or having curly hair; a feature. But in the past, being Black comes with assumptions, burdens, and dangers. Bill asking whether it’d be safe for her to roam around in ‘Thin Ice’ is an important thing. The Doctor acknowledging her concern is an important thing.

Anything other than the explicit acknowledgement of Bill’s Blackness and how it affects her experiences is gross negligence. To say that race “doesn’t matter” is to trivialize the experience of Black people worldwide. Anti-blackness is a prevalent part of human history, and it will absolutely affect how a Black companion moves through time and space.

I’ve been watching Doctor Who again and I’m really mad because now all I can think about is a homestuck doctor who au and that hasn’t been relevant since 2010.

I’ve been thinking about something, and I know everyone will hate me, but this is what i’ve realized

I’m glad bellarke wasn’t romantically canon before their separation.

(For anyone that watched Doctor who and remember Ten/Rose you’ll probably understand this)

Thing is, if they were canon (and try to picture any couple you like in your head), this separation plot would feel so……. cheesy and cheap? Ask any other CW couple really.

Cause it wouldn’t really add to their story much, for one we’d know they love each other. But more than that, when it comes to story pacing and the feelings it evokes on the audience, it would work against their relationship. It would feel like a separation for the drama of it. Plot-wise, they’d have more working against them then for them. 

While now, with this plot, we have a confirmation of how huge their love is for each other, and the whole “soulmate” feel of their story. Then, we’d be worried they’d move on from each other or all the drama it would create for their relationship

(i mean, it could work even if they were canon tbh. It could work WELL. But i think it works even better like this *shrugs*)

fixaidea  asked:

If you're still doing the osmosis thing, how about Superwholock?

Okay, I saw a bunch of Doctor Who with a friend back in The Day (I basically stopped watching around when the Doctor wiped Donna’s mind) but I think that’s enough time to count as Dashboard Osmosis?

anyway I’m afraid this mashup will…not be flattering but it’s what I’ve gathered from my dash:

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Some facts about me.

Spider-Man is actually my third favourite fictional franchise.

Whilst I know a Hell of a lot more about Spider-Man than these other two, and obviously love Spider-Man a lot, I actually love Doctor Who and Dragon Ball even more than Spider-Man.

The Doctor in all his incarnations (especially I admit the Tenth Doctor) is possibly my favourite fictional character of all time (and space).

Freeza from Dragon Ball meanwhile is my absolute favourite villain in just about anything, with his battle with Son Goku on Namek being probably the greatest fictional battle ever committed to paper or screen.

The odd thing is that Spider-Man predates both of those shows for me. Spider-Man was kind of always there, whereas Dragon Ball became something I was interested in only in like 2000, even then I wasn’t THAT into it at the time. Doctor Who was a series I only watched by chance when it was brought back in 2005 (my friend fancied Billie Piper and so insisted we watched the first episode) and whilst I grew to like it a lot it was only in 2007 (ironically given what that year meant for Spider-Man) that I sort of deeply loved the show and came to consider myself a fan for life.

Doctor Who is actually the show which got me really thinking about the nuts and bolts of writing because the show is such an ideas factory.

Dragon Ball (specifically Dragon Ball Z) is not only the greatest action thing  created by mere mortals but it is my comfort show. It’s what I watch when I’m feeling down or am unwell to cheer me up.

It just struck me as ironic that I love both of those shows/series even more than Spider-Man and yet I do not think I could ever write or post as much about them as I do Spidey.

I suppose it just goes to show how weird these things can be.


The Doctor Who Experience in Cardiff was, pretty much, the best thing ever. 

I’m so happy I got to experience it before it closes. I was so happy being there. I gasped, laughed, cried (twice, or maybe three times). I’ve seen my favorite monsters, my favorite companions, my favorite Doctors, ALL THE DOCTORS. I saw my first Tardis console, and I saw the first Tardis console. I left something at Ianto’s shrine. I gasped “no” when I saw a certain mortuary stone. Or two. I couldn’t stop grinning. I remembered so many things I have forgotten over the years. I learned many things I did not know before.

I’ve been watching this show for about seven years now. I remember I started binge watching it after Tennant’s last series. I feel like the Doctor and I have gone through so many things together, through experiences and emotions, but I don’t think anything will ever be able to top this.

The Doctor Who Experience is exactly that, an experience. It was different from anything I’ve ever done before, it was a whirlwind and fun, so much fun. I’ll forever refer to it as The Experience. 

I left a little bit of my heart in Cardiff Bay. And a little more of my tears, a whole lot of happines. 

But I have a Tardis key now. I’m an official companion. So is @mr-stevens-head-of-catering

And I really enjoyed 10x1. I’m excited for what’s to come, be it smiles, tears, or emoji robots, aparently. Fun!


replied to your



Buffy Thoughts - S6E20 (Villains) & S6E21 (Two to…

The writers loved and hated it. There was a huge conflict going on in the writers’ room in S6, between the ones who were pro-spuffy and the ones who were anti-spuffy. And Joss was off playing with his shiny new Firefly and was like “whatevs.” That’s the short version. The long version is the stuff of fannish nightmares.

Holy shit, are you serious? Because I almost wrote that exact paragraph. Like, I almost wrote “I wouldn’t be surprised if the writer’s room was split down pro-spuffy and anti-spuffy lines and Joss was in the corner like an exhausted catlady trying to herd them until he was like “fuck it, i give up; write whatever you want in whatever episode you get.”” And then I deleted that paragraph because it sounded too assuming and presumptive from a fan’s POV, and just holy shit, are you serious? I was right?

Though honestly, I still find that one of the most fascinating and frustrating things about non-adaptive TV works. Because you’ve got the head writer who’s the “author” and every other writer is pretty much a fanfic writer, trying to do their best to adhere to “canon” characterization. Like, to pull a specific example from Doctor Who (because God, I know way too much about Doctor Who), Steven Moffat doesn’t like the character of Rose Tyler. He’s come out in interviews, saying he thinks she’s needy and clinging, and when you watch his episodes when RTD was the head writer, it shows:

- she gets separated from the Doctor almost instantly

- in one she becomes a damsel in distress, in the other she’s just kind of forgotten

- and in the episode where she’s forgotten, it doesn’t make sense with the overall character arc; it’s like this really weird unharmonious blip in their relationship that season

And it gets to the point where you really do have to ask yourself: Is this really an “accurate” representation of the character? Or is this a product of one particular co-author letting their own fanons slip through?

But yeah, if what you’re saying is true, then I think that explains pretty much my main issues with season six right there (i.e. how disjointed it feels). And I think it explains my issues with Seeing Red. Like I’m not going to deny it happened, and I’m not going to say Spike could never do something like that, but it just didn’t click for me with the setup we were given.

ID #93880

Name: Elena
Age: 17
Country: Italy

Uhm.. I really like languages, I’d like to learn as much as I can.
I’m a sucker for music, I really listen to an extended variety of such, I shift from pop to rock, from swing to metal, from classical to electronic.
I watch a lot of tv series, like GoT, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Shameless, Supernatural and a lot others.
I’m not always the most cheer pal, I’ll admit that, but I tend to look at the bright side of things.
I’ve got a nephew of which I’ll talk and send a lot of photos if that makes you happy! Because he makes me really happy.
If I have to think about things to say like that I’m not really that great… When I start on a subject tho I always give the best I can into that!

Preferences: No age preferences, though I’d like maybe someone whose first language isn’t english? Maybe I’m a bit picky.
But otherwise I have nothing to ask.

  • *watching robot of sherwood whilst visiting the parents*
  • doctor: when did you start believing in impossible heroes?
  • clara: don't you know?
  • ...gazing ensues... lots of gazing...
  • clara: well anyway it's rather sweet.
  • ...more gazing... glances... ust... uuussssstttt...
  • dad: you think he's thinking about her *tenderly in the shade*...
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: did y-
  • me: did you just...
  • me: *tears up*
  • me: i have never. been more proud of you. in my entire life.

psicygni  asked:

spones back atcha? 2, 11 (hee hee), 24


2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

Well, setting aside the fact that every time Bones mentions spooning even in passing, Spock pretends he doesn’t know what he means, even though he 100% knows what he means, he just likes to see Bones turn magenta….Spock is big spoon, usually. But he can’t initiate or Bones will grumble about it. Bones has to physically pull Spock’s arm around him…and even then he might grumble a little.

11. Who tops?

My brain actually shorted out trying to think about this. So here’s the thing: Spock is just about the toppiest person on the Enterprise aside from…well, Uhura, but seducing Bones is like trying to seduce a cactus, and that’s if you know what you’re doing, and Spock decidedly does not. So it’s not like he’s going to go poking around where he’s not sure he’s welcome without express permission. Which means the first few times they hook up, it’s strictly hand jobs and blow jobs only, and everything is very reciprocal and almost polite, or as polite as it can be for two people who are sort of still trying not to believe that they’re really hooking up in real life. After a while though, Bones reaches the absolute end of his rope, and pushes Spock’s fingers down where he wants them, and Spock raises an eyebrow, and Bones goes, “If you even think about saying the word ‘fascinating’ right now, so help me…” and Spock goes, “How would you know what I’m thinking, doctor?” and Bones says, “Don’t call me ‘doctor’ when your fingers are in my ass,” and you get the picture.

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

Definitely Bones. He gets perverse pleasure from watching the tips of Spock’s ears turn green. It’s his dream to get Spock to crack in public sometime.

But then Spock can do this thing with his voice, where he says perfect mundane things like “I request a meeting with you in my quarters, Leonard” and Bones nearly bursts into flames every time, and he’s pretty sure the entire ship knows what’s going on, but it doesn’t even matter.

Doctor Who Headcannon

Okay, so I’ve been binge-watching Doctor Who, and something occurred to me while watching World War Three:

So Jackie shouts at the Doctor about Rose being left behind if something happens to him, and there’s a moment when Rose tries to defend him where you see the Doctor frowning to himself in the background. I reckon that’s the moment he came up with Emergency Program One. 

Think about it. EP1 is a New!Who thing, and is specifically aimed at Rose. It’s designed for the deadliest of situations where the Doctor is “dead or about to die with no chance of escape”. And why didn’t Jackie want Rose to go? Because she didn’t want her daughter stranded if something happened to the Doctor.

Nine created Emergency Program One because of Jackie Tyler.

anonymous asked:

Mckirk stockholm syndrome au. Bones lost his job and he's desperate for money to save Joanna/his mom from dying of an illness. He gets offered a job by Khan to capture a certain blonde captain.

  • The last thing Jim remembers is being separated from his away crew in an attack. Something hard and blunt hits him on the head, and then everything gets kind of black.
  • When he wakes up, his head is pounding and he’s pretty sure he’s bleeding, but he can’t reach out to touch the wound on his head because his hands are bound. He groans loudly, trying to take in his surroundings. Looks like a small ship. Its pilot looks nervous to be flying all by himself. “Hey. I don’t know what you’re trying, but the Enterprise is gonna come find me.” Jim says slowly, voice rough. “Keep your mouth shut.” The guy says. “At least tell me where we’re going.” “No.” “What’s your name?” “Shut up, Kirk.” “So you know mine and I can’t know yours?” “If you don’t keep your mouth shut I’m going to eject your ass into space.”
  • Jim wants answers. He’s tied up very well, and his phaser has been taken away from him. His wrists are sore and he’s counted every crook and nanny of the small ship. “Where are we going?” Jim presses. “Can you shut up?” “I will if I know what’s going on,” Jim says. “I’m taking you to Khan.” “Khan,” Jim repeats, the name still making his blood boil. “Listen, you don’t have to do this. Whatever Khan’s trying to make you do, you don’t have to-” “I don’t have much of a choice.” “There’s always a choice,” Jim says.  
  • “What’s your name?” Jim tries, but he’s ignored for a while. “Can I at least know the name of the guy’s who’s taking me to my inevitable death?” Jim says, perhaps a little dramatically, and the guy sighs. “Leonard. I’m only doing what I have to. It’s nothing personal.” “I believe that,” Jim says, “but you know you don’t have to do this. Why is he making you do this?“ “I have a daughter. She’s sick. He can help her get better.” Leonard explains, and Jim frowns. “I’m sorry to hear that. Hey, but we have a great team of doctors on the Enterprise. We could help-” “I am a doctor,” Leonard explains, “I’m a good doctor, too. I wouldn’t be doing this if I had another choice. I save lives, I don’t end them. I’m sorry, it’s really nothing personal. But my daughter-” “Hey, I understand,” Jim says. “I get it.”
  • Leonard flies them to a larger starship, and messily docks at the station. Clearly, this guy is no pilot. Jim waits until Leonard releases his bounds just a little, holding his arm as they enter the ship. He’s first taken to a private quarters. Leonard sits down there as well, and he’s fidgeting. “Hey, calm down,” Jim says, “if Khan’s gonna save your daughter, I understand your motives. I can’t blame you.” “Would you have done the same?” Leonard asks. Jim hesitates, before shaking his head. “No, I don’t think so. But I don’t have a daughter, so I can’t answer that for sure. But I understand your motives, I do. I’ll think of something.”
  • But Khan doesn’t give Leonard the blood he needs to save Joanna. The only answer he’s given is “soon, maybe”, and Jim looks surprised when Leonard gets back to his room. “Did you get what you needed and now you’re saying goodbye to this handsome mug?” Jim asks, and Leonard huffs. “No. I don’t think he’s going to keep his word. He didn’t give me anything.“ “I’m not surprised,” Jim says. “I’m sorry I got you into this,” Leonard says, and Jim huffs a little. “You’re a terrible bad guy.” “Again, I’m used to saving lives. And now I can’t even save my daughter and I’ve taken yours.” Leonard says, burying his face in his hands and Jim frowns. “I’m not dead yet.” Leonard looks up. “I got an idea. I know you have every reason not to trust me, but I think I can get you off this ship.”
  • “So you’re saying that if I take this pill I will essentially die for a few hours,” Jim says, holding a little pill in his hand. “Yes. I made it myself.” Leonard replies, and Jim sighs. “That’s comforting, considering you literally kidnapped me to be killed by my nemesis.” “He’s gonna come soon, too,” Leonard continues. “You better take that pill. When you’re dead, I’ll put you in my ship. You can take off.” “What about yourself?” “If I can’t save my girl, I have no reason to go anywhere else.” Leonard explains, and Jim sighs. “Again, you’re the worst bad guy I’ve ever met.” “I take that as a compliment,” Leonard says, turning around as Khan marges through the door. Jim hides his hands behind his back.
  • Jim may be a fool for trusting the guy who got him in this mess in the first place.  Khan drags him out to the bridge, having put up a comms channel with the Enterprise, Jim feels even less sure of himself now that Spock and the others are watching him. “James,” Spock says, and Jim smiles weakly. “Don’t worry about me, Spock. Make sure Khan’s not gonna get away.” Khan’s going for a very public execution, and Jim fights him off to the best of his ability. He manages to pop the pill in his mouth and swallow, even though Khan’s many times as strong as Jim is. And shortly after taking that pill, mid fight, his vision blurs and his heart just stops. The last he hears is just Spock’s voice over comms, telling him to get back on his feet.
  • The next time Jim draws a breath of air, it comes out like a gasp. He’s on the floor, flight a little turbulent. “You’re fine,” he hears Leonard’s voice, “take a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds, then exhale slowly.” Jim slowly sits up straight. “Where are we?” “We’re out,” Leonard says. “I told them I would expose of your body. And I did. In my ship.” “Are you being followed?” Jim asks. He slowly gets up, stumbling towards Leonard. Leonard simply shrugs. “Not that I know of.” "Okay, well, you’re not the most skilled pilot,“ Jim says, and Leonard turns to look at him with raised eyebrows. “I saved your life.” “To be fair, you were also the one almost responsible for taking it.” “Touche.” Jim sighs, sitting down in the seat next to Leonard. “Where are we going?” “You ask a lot of questions,” Leonard says before adding: “The Enterprise.”
  • Leonard is arrested the second they get to the Enterprise. Spock has him tied down and transported to  one of the Enterprise’s cells. It takes a full day before Jim visits him. He’s showered and slept, and they have been in pursuit of Khan for the last day now to blow that ship into oblivion. "I have something for you,” Jim says, and Leonard looks up. Jim opens the cell door, walking inside and sitting down on the floor next to him. “I, uh, saved some of Khan’s blood for you. During our fight, I stabbed him.” He explains, faint smile. “We’re going to York Town, and then you can visit your daughter.” “You’re not going to get me to prison?“ “I don’t think you’ve a bad person,” Jim says. “You went through great lengths to save  your daughter. And not just that. You did to save me, too.” Leonard smiles faintly. “Thank you.” “Hey, if you want to, and all of this is over, we could always use an extra doctor aboard.”
  • Leonard doesn’t think he deserves to be saved. Spock is initially against it, too, but Jim is not often wrong in people. He insists Leonard clean his reputation by saving people - after saving his own daughter, of course. And Bones is a fine doctor, who quickly becomes a member of the crew everyone appreciates. Even Spock, eventually, when Leonard surprises him with extensive knowledge about Vulcan anatomy. Jim watches them talk a lot. Sometimes he joins in on the discussion, because Jim’s no idiot. And the first time they stumble into Jim’s quarters together, Jim presses Leonard up against the wall and kisses him. “Jim-Captain,” Bones starts but he shouldn’t have, because having Bones whisper his title against his lips is just the hottest thing. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” Bones breathes as Jim’s lips are on his neck, slowly kissing their way up to his ear. “Why not?” “I did almost get you killed.” Jim pulls away and huffs. “That was months ago. I’m over it.” “I’m not” “I forgive you, Bones,” Jim says, smiling lightly as he grabs both of Bones’ hands. “Besides, I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for saving my life, either.”

Since I’m so critical of this series, and I’m about to be more critical, I think it’s important that I talk about WHY I watch it. I don’t love hating on things.

RTD’s Doctor Who set the bar really damn high, admittedly. Maybe it just hit me at a certain time when I needed to see it, but that show changed my life. When Rose says “The Doctor showed me a better way to live” in the first series finale, I realized that was the message for all of us. That we love inspirational fiction, we watch uplifting movie after uplifting movie, yet somehow we’re never truly uplifted, the stories fail because they don’t stay with us, they don’t really change us, we turn the TV off and we go back to exactly who we were. We watch the underdog triumph again and again, we love that narrative, yet those of us who are really underdogs never think we can do it in real life, we never apply it. As Rose realized her potential, and went from an apathetic sales clerk drifting through life without purpose to someone courageous and driven who didn’t give up even when it was hopeless, I found strength too.

And I came to not only fiercely love the Doctor, but even identify with him. In The Impossible Planet, when Ten is stranded, seemingly having lost the TARDIS forever, his utter lack of ability to cope with the things that are expected of a person, like getting a mortgage or something, rang very true to me. And I felt that I, like the Doctor, was someone who wasn’t very good at “normal” things, and it was easy to believe that because of that, I was worthless, but that that was overlooking qualities I have that aren’t as valued by society but could make me valuable in my own, different kind of way. I’d spent so much time thinking “good at mortgages” was the only way to be a good adult, a good human, and from Doctor Who I realized I could be good with bravery, a spirit of adventure, and of course amazing friends.

As a writer, I’ve loved the arcs of RTD’s companions. I realized that each one was special, and not because of something that happened to them, or even something the Doctor gave them, but because each and every person is born full of amazing potential and possibility, each and every person is their own fantastic universe. And little by little, somehow, that’s obscured. Every time we’re talked over or told we’re not interesting, every time we’re told to “be realistic,” every time we’re rammed into gender roles, every little insult, each minor wound, tarnishes us until we don’t even know who we were. And the Doctor’s magic isn’t that he makes people extraordinary, but that he sees through the gunk of insignificance we’ve picked up in our travels, he knows who we really are, and he helps us see it, too. The moments Rose, Martha, and Donna were really allowed to shine, it was with the brilliance they’d had in there all along, and you could see the Doctor’s joy in witnessing them discovering it. Having watched a bunch of the classics too, I know that was most often the Doctor’s role—as a mentor, a stepping stone to greatness. I believe he really tried to leave each companion better than he found them, and was utterly crushed in situations when he failed to do so. Companions don’t stay with him forever because that isn’t their role, or his. He lifts them up, and he lets them go. That’s the Doctor.

And I fell so profoundly in love with this character, this universe, this sense of wonder and discovery. I started watching the classic episodes purely out of love for the world RTD showed me, and I think that’s what he most hoped to accomplish, because this was a world he fell in love with too.

And that, that is why I’m still watching. Not because I’m a hater, not because I love to be cynical and prove I’m so much more progressive and socially aware than you. Did RTD make mistakes? Hell yeah. But my metric for enjoyment isn’t whether the show was completely socially just, because then I’d never get to enjoy anything, and I like enjoyment. I can let a certain amount of bullshit go if you move me, if the story is GOOD and I love watching the characters interact. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth calling out bullshit in good stories, it’s more of at the end of the day, did I enjoy it enough that it was worth it anyway?

I don’t watch Doctor Who for the amazing, tightly-woven plots, or the special effects, or the scientific realism, or any of the many things you could probably get better somewhere else. I watch it for the Doctor, and the close, often intense relationships he has with his companions, the love and the growth and the way they somehow make each other more themselves, the way true friends do.

You always start from the same point: The Doctor is the Doctor. I’ve never actually written a script where I didn’t know who the Doctor was going to be. You just start thinking about the actor’s voice, speech patterns, mannerisms, and the whole attitude. The main thing with Peter is the obvious factor that he’s a lot older than Matt. I knew he wanted to be a lot more skeptical and less accessible while still being lots of fun. And immediately, you start to think of early Tom Baker in that way. One of the things I remember being thrilled about as a child watching the show — Jon Pertwee was my Doctor, and I was devastated when he left — but I remember the thrill of the newness of Tom. There’s a bit in “The Seeds of Doom” when they’re discussing amputating someone’s arm because it’s been infected by the Krynoid. Tom sits there with his hat on like Clint Eastwood and just says, “You must help yourselves.” And it sent goose-bumps down my spine because it’s like, “What? The Doctor’s not like that!” But suddenly he was. And suddenly, in this episode, you’ve got a Doctor who’s quite grumpy with Robin Hood. Matt would probably have gone out for a drink with him! Just the fact that you can suddenly have a change of attitude like that makes the whole thing new and fresh again.

My eyes scanned the crisp pages of the latest installment of my favorite comic book. By the soft glow of my living room lamp, I read comic books silently in the dead of night. It was the only free time I found without the resounding noises of my boyfriend or his friends. I am, and always have been, a bit of a nerd. And by a bit, of course I mean an abundance of.

High school for me was bittersweet. The love of my boyfriend fueled my fire to keep on going while I was being tormented by a group of girls. Of course, the inevitable happened; time. Time is our largest enemy, but our biggest friend. Time forced me to graduate and break up with my boyfriend, but time also healed the wounds that my peers were pouring salt into. Because of my ghastly experience with bullying, I choose to keep my nerdy side to myself.

Today, I have an amazing boyfriend. Somewhere inside I know he won’t judge me, but something within me forbids me to open up. The thought of telling him about my past makes my stomach churn. Everytime I begin diverging my secret, I feel physically sick and I begin sputtering. So here I am, two-thirty in the morning, completely enthralled by a superhero story that I don’t even hear the monotonous footsteps, trudging down the stairs.

“Babe, what are you doing up? It’s two-thirty.” His voice was raspy, his eyes glazed over with sleep, and his posture was vacant of the boisterous boy he was when he was fully awake.

“It’s two-thirty?” I asked as though I hadn’t noticed. “Sorry, I just got, um, caught up.”

Slowly, I tucked the comic book into the crook of my arm.

“What are you reading?” Alex questioned. I cursed under my breath.

“Nothing, honey. Let’s go back to bed,” I said, narrowly diverting his question. Or so I thought. As I walked past him, he pulled the comic out of my grip.

“Really, then what’s this?” Alex’s tone had change. Just a moment ago he was drowsy, now he was vigilant.

“Uh… That’s nothing!” God, I’m an idiot. Obviously it’s something, and Alex is cognizant. Alex flipped through the pages, his brows furrowed with each turn.

“A comic book?” He asked. He looked confused, maybe even a little worried. “Why were you hiding a comic book?”

I sucked in what little air my lungs could hold. “It’s kind of a long story…”

“I’ve got time.”

“Um, okay. Well in high school I was a loser, a nobody. A few people took every chance to remind me, and put me into place. I don’t want to get into what they did and said, but it was enough to silence me. Sure, I had a boyfriend, but he was also a nobody. I was persecuted for being in a math and science class 2 years above my grade level, punished for liking comic books, and harassed for just being different,

"People were mean to me so I learned how to stay out of the limelight. If my corkiness was under the radar, no one could touch me. When I got to college, I was accepted for who I was. I learned to be more confident with who I was. I started taking better care of myself, and I finally learned to love myself, all of me. While I do love myself, I know not everyone will. I don’t tell people about my inner-nerd, because after what happened to me, I don’t want to give them a reason to hate me,” I finished.

I looked at Alex, searching his eyes for an answer, but they were vacant. That scared me more than any reaction I previously feared. Right now, I craved any sort of acknowledgment of what I had told him. Anger, joy, sadness- anything would be better than silence.

“So wait, you didn’t tell me you were smart, or liked comics, because you thought I was going to judge you?” He asked.

“Well… Yeah, kind of.” I looked down. I was too ashamed to look him in the eyes.

“That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!” Alex said. I looked up at him, about ready to rip him a new one when he began talking again, “(Y/N), we’ve been dating for over a year! By now you should know that I’m also a nerd! I love comic books, I’m obsessed with space, I could spend all day watching Doctor Who, and Game of Thrones! I may not be the smartest guy, but we can’t all be geniuses. I think it’s cool that you are! It explains a lot, too, but besides that, I love you. Even if I wasn’t a nerd, I wouldn’t make fun of you BECAUSE I love you,” Alex said, all while holding his gaze in my eyes.

“I- I love you, Alex. And thank you.”

“It’s not something you need to thank me for, (Y/N). Do you want to go up with me or would you rather read your comic?” Alex asked.

I looked from him to the comic book, considering my options. “Let’s go to bed. I can read that in the morning!” I said. For the first time since I lived with my parents, that was the truth.

Alex gave me a pleasant smile, causing a warmth to spread within me. I was truly happy, which I haven’t felt in years. Alex took my hand, dragging me- leading me up the stairs. As we neared our bedroom, I felt my eyelids begin droop. I was exhausted. Alex laid down after me and he pulled the cover over us. I snuggled into his chest. I felt safe here, I felt wanted.

As I was drifting into the first realm of sleep, Alex spoke, “Hey (Y/N)?”

“Hm?” I mumbled. I wasn’t exactly coherent at the moment.

“Who’s your favorite super hero?”

A/N: oh wow, I’m a piece of shit. I do not update enough! I’m working on it! I promise. I have two that I’m in the middle of writing. Sorry if requests take a long time:( requests are still closed!

The Child Is Lost...

Hello and welcome to Theory Thursday! The credit for today’s theory goes almost completely to belovedoswin, who pointed me to that one scene that connected all the dots. But since she already has a gorgeous blog, she let me write it. You rock, sister!

Okay, so the scene that belovedoswin pointed out to me was from Shakespeare’s Code:

LILITH: The Eternals found the right word to banish us into deep darkness.
DOCTOR: And how did you escape?
LILITH: New words. New and glittering, from a mind like no other.
DOCTOR: Shakespeare.
LILITH: His son perished. The grief of a genius. Grief without measure. Madness enough to allow us entrance.

Yes. A returning species,  trapped in another dimension, being freed by a word. Even if you are new to my blog, this must sound familiar to you. It is just like our returning Timelords. (If you do know my blog, you know that I think it is actually something other than Timelords, but let’s leave that for another day).

There is a lot of information in this scene, but let me draw your attention to the “grief of a genius” part, and especially the “perished son”. Because this is far from the only time that someone has lost a child in Doctor Who.

In fact, we do have a child-lost theme:

We have the Doctor’s daughter die in war…

… we have the little boy being killed from a bomb in the London Blitz…

… and we have Melody vanishing in A Good Man Goes To War.

As you can see, the theme somehow is linked with a war as well. We even have that poem:

Demons run, but count the cost,
the battle’s won but the child is lost.

- (A Good Man Goes To War)

I have long since thought that this poem might be about more than just the battle at Demon’s Run. And I am now sure that it is about the Doctor’s own lost child.

But, as always, there is more…

Keep reading