things i say in my head too often

reverse-vampire  asked:

Since everyone else has been bombarding you with questions about what you dislike about Persona 5 in comparison to Persona 4 and past games, now, is there anything you LOVE about Persona 5? You claimed that you like Persona 5 in one of your responses on your asks, but it seems to me that isn't really the case.

FINALLY. 

By god, yes! Yes, I DO love Persona 5! It’s a brilliant game, the best in the series objectively seen, even! I could never dislike it!

Let me explain!

  • The hands down best Dungeon Design in the series, not even a contest. This has previously been my biggest complaint with the series, and I am SO GLAD they addressed it finally! Dungeons were always supposed to have some psychological symbolism behind them, but due to them all looking like they’d been created of a tileset of 5 individual pieces, this never really came out before. Up to Persona4, all story dungeons were bland, boring, and a slog to get through. Now, I said that back when I played Persona Q, but I also praised the dungeon in that game and said that I hoped this game has been used as a training exercise for Persona 5 and BOOOY HAVE I EVER BEEN RIGHT! Persona 5′s dungeons are beautiful, interesting, a joy to play. Every item placed is there for a reason, the dungeons are like characters in their own right, sparking with personality and truly seeming like an extension of the Shadows who rule over them. The puzzles are fitting and smart, they are paced perfectly, and story bits are handed out naturally during them, rather than just in randomly appearing textboxes. These dungeons really DO live up to the series’ psychological themes, and I ADORE IT.

  • The battle system is streamlined to its logical excellence. Oh gosh, is the battle system beautiful! It’s fast paced, versatile, perfectly mapped to the controller in a way that seems natural and all its most annoying aspects have finally been dealt with; Swapping between Personas is a lot less frustrating now and the “Baton Touch” Mechanic not only fits the game’s style, but actually makes One Mores a JOY like never before. I actually went briefly back to P4 and played some of Yukiko’s dungeon during my playthrough of P5. You have NO idea how tedious P4′s battle system felt in direct comparison! The inability to baton touch over to Yosuke after downing a Hablerie made me feel awful.

  • Best. Social Links. EVER. I am not kidding. This is the first time the Social Links (Confidants, whatever) did NOT make me feel bored or like I am wasting my time at ANY POINT during them! There were no characters I didn’t wanna link with after trying Rank 1, I loved all of them! Everyone was so powerful and full of personality, and I wanted to be with all of them constantly. Nothing like the Tower SL in P3, which just depressed me or the Temperance SL in P4, which made me want to smack Eri Minami in the face. I was actually looking forward to the longer stretches of nothing but Linking between story parts and I am genuinely upset for every single link I didn’t complete! Not to mention that the Confidant Abilities make it all even more worthwhile! Fusion bonuses were always a neat thing at best, but stuff like cheaper weapons and baton touch and more time to read REALLY make the whole system fit so much better into the game proper! Plus, the ability to see all your SL possibilities for the day right on the map. It is marvelous.

  • The organization of the main cast. This is an advantage especially towards P4. In P4, the entire IT felt incredibly incompetent at what they were doing, to the point it was laughable. Even Naoto’s competence was questionable at best. Compare Naoto’s actions before she joins to Makoto’s actions before she joins and tell me, in all seriousness, and Makoto is not the more competent investigator. The Phantom Thieves always feel like they have at least a semblance of a plan, with the except of Ryuji, they think their actions through, they scheme, they gamble, they aim for flawless victory. Compare that to the IT, who usually seemed to be LUCKY if they ended up achieving anything. Any and all attempts to plan ahead on their part were doomed from the start, which is nowhere as evident as in— Actually, strike that, it’s evident EVERYWHERE, from how they dealt with Kanji, to randomly attacking a fanboy to “safe” Rise, to just believing the bullshit about Mitsuo being the culprit, right down to Naoto pretty much throwing herself into a TV, risking to get herself killed, just because her ego had been bruised. The PT feel a LOT more competent and it is VERY refreshing.

  • The scope of the game. There’s always something to do. The game world NEVER feels “empty” or “dead”, as it often would on rainy days in P4 or on random days in P3. The possibilities for what you can do or how to raise your stats are endless, and it actually *does* feel like you have a choice in how to spend your time, rather than there being one single true “walkthrough path” that will get you everything in one go. Despite how the individual areas are cut off, it really does feel like you’re exploring Tokyo, and that’s just a great feeling, especially if you’ve been there before.

  • The general aesthetic of the game. It’s breathtakingly detailed and awesome. Every inch of the scream exudes the love the designers put into it. A far cry from the dead-eyed models and lazy animations in the PS2-era games and uselessly clunky menus in the PS1-era games. This game has a personality and a flair from the moment you boot it up, and that’s definitely worth for something.

  • Forshadowing. This game is GREAT at setting up all the pieces in the plot so that they’ll fall into pieces perfectly and it will make flawless sense, but without making the workings of some things too obvious. There were a couple “AHA!” moments when it really felt like I had a lightbulb lighting up in my head. In P4, it still often felt like stuff was pulled out of nowhere. That’s no longer the case and I love it. 

  • The overall themes of the game. Without saying anything specific and giving away spoilers, the social critique in this game is probably the strongest and most biting to come out of the series in a while, and it actually makes you feel guilty and reflect on your life as you play, which I find really powerful. By the time you’re fighting the final boss, you’re actually wondering if you, as the player (NOT the protagonist) aren’t just as bad as the NPCs in this game, which is something none of the other Persona Games ever managed to make me feel. It was pretty great. 

So? What can I say? I LOVE this game. No amount of gripes I have with it is ever gonna change that!

Guys I don’t know what this is I’m sorry but I just can’t believe it hasn’t been done before and someone had to do it. For @snowbaz-feda day 6

‘I need to tell you something,’ he says.
‘What?’ Since when do Snow and I have anything to tell each other?
‘I need to talk to you.’
I raise my chin. ‘Talk, then.’

*

He stares at me, and sparks are almost dancing off his skin, so I know whatever it is, it’s important.

‘Go on, Snow,’ I sneer. ‘Talk.’

He takes a deep breath. His gaze on mine is intense, and I struggle not to flinch away.

And then Snow says the absolute last thing I expected him to say.

‘The truth is, I’m desperately attracted to you.’

He’s gone bright red and he’s hung his head, peering up at me every so often as if he’ll die of mortification if he looks at me for too long.

For the first time since I met him, I am at a complete loss for words.

So I do the first thing that comes into my head.

I spit in his face.

His head jerks up and he stares at me with a look of complete and utter dismay.

‘Yeah, okay,’ he mumbles. ‘That’s what I thought.’

Before he can make a move to step back or wipe his face, I dart forward and lick his cheek (why did I do that) (because I’m disturbed) (ask anyone). And before he can react, I kiss him.

He makes a shocked noise. And then he kisses me back.

Learning Languages and Self-Compassion

So, right now, I’ve been teaching English as a part-time job, and a student asked me; “What do I do when I’m feeling overwhelmed?”

The “normal” answer that you hear is that you should practice more. If you practiced yesterday, then maybe you would not feel overwhelmed today.This advice, while true, is not especially helpful in the moment you are feeling overwhelmed.

So here is how I learned not to be overwhelmed.

When I was in Japan, I had a friend who was much better at Japanese than me. She had passed the JLPT N1, the certification necessary to enter a Japanese-language University. We were talking about our language skills, and she said:

“I feel like I’m never going to be good at Japanese. All the time, there are things I want to say that I can’t find the words for. I say one thing and people understand something else. I even still mispronounce words sometimes. I just don’t think I’ll ever be good at it”

The thing is, I felt these things too. She might as well have been inside my head. And she was *so much better than me*.

So I began to think about it, and you know what? All of those things? They’re true of my native language too. Of course, it happens more often to me in Japanese or French than in English, but it still happens in English. Even mispronouncing words.

See, your memory can’t tell you “six months ago, you were at a loss for words once per spoken hour of Japanese, now you have to talk for three hours before you can’t find the words you need.” Your memory focuses on your mistakes, the times you were embarrassed. Your memory lies.

So yes, you should practice as much as you can. But you should also remember that we are all still learning. And that it’s kind of a miracle that language works at all. When you are overwhelmed, remember to be kind to yourself, and that learning is not a thing that ends. 

Give Me What I Know Is Mine (Part 1)

Pairing: Sam x Reader, Dean, Nick (OMC)
Word count: 1126
Warnings: A little witchcraft, a little fluff. And smut. Shameless smut. (To be specific,  the following kinks are highlighted: bondage, blindfolds, pain play, breast play. Don’t play in the rain if you don’t have proper protection, kiddies! Also, safe, sane, and consensual play is awesome.)
Challenge:  This was written for @mamaredd123 and @atc74‘s Fabulous 300 Challenge. Apologies for the late entry, but thank you so much for your patience!

A/N: Hello hello! So my prompts for this challenge were “a talisman”, the emotion of Lust, and Queen’s “I Want It All”. I’m fascinated with dream catchers, which are shamanic talismans within Native American culture. Yes, they’re known for catching bad dreams…but what if they were woven with additional intent? That idea is what inspired what you’re about to read. Hope you enjoy it.

Originally posted by cheerfulsammy

Originally posted by rain---ing

Keep reading

how-i-met-your-mulder  asked:

Blanket? :)

you wake to the sound of a door closing, and your first thought is well, that’s symbolic.

you’re in his apartment, on his couch, and still wearing your pantyhose; at some point in conversation, you must’ve fallen asleep, and he must’ve spread that patterned blanket of his over you, pulled it up on your shoulders in the way he knows you like. the last time you woke like this, he was sitting alongside you, the rented starship troopers tape - his idea, of course - left unwound in the vcr, your last memories being those from twenty minutes into the movie; the time before that, you’d been awake since four in the morning because, of course, he’d called you and claimed he needed your expertise in regard to a pressing matter even though you know he just wanted to hear your voice, so that evening, while you wore lacy lingerie beneath your work-clothes, you conked out long before he could realize you’d made an effort. though you knew going into this that it would be a marriage, not a courtship, you wish that you at least felt some discomfort toward him, that you would keep your makeup on all night and sneak away to reapply it, that you would cover up in front of him so that you still held some air of mystery. with daniel waterston, you were elusive, the other woman, the young and malleable mind, the woman of the future; with mulder, you’re the partner who falls asleep on his couch. though you scoff yourself for thinking that, insist that what you have now is far more real than anything you ever had with daniel was, you still wish you accented your femininity more often. you wish you still knew how to be romantic.

but instead, you fall asleep on his couch, and now, you can hear the sink running, so you figure he’s in the bathroom. last week, he told you that the valve must not be working because the faucet leaks, but after the case with the luckiest man on earth, he figures he should hire someone to fix it. soon enough, you’ll have to teach him how to use a wrench.

you check your watch; the night’s still young, and you don’t plan on going home, so you’re going to bed in one of two ways: naked or clothed, sexed or unsexed. regardlessly, you won’t be spending the rest of the evening on his couch, so you shrug out of the blanket, messily fold it onto the edge of the cushions, crack your sleepy joints as you stand. though the thought of exercise, be it walking up a flight of stairs or exerting yourself in other ways, makes your muscles tense, you count the days anyway. four, five…ten. it’s been ten days since you last had sex with him, not even for lack of trying. though he wanted to stay over, and though you wanted to spend time with him, journal articles and crows in vermont took momentary precedence, so it’s been ten whole days. before you can think the course of actions through, you pull off your blazer, shimmy out of your skirt. though the easygoing pace of what you have with mulder is comfortable, you’ll be damned if you ever go more than ten days without him again, so you pull off your shirt, your brassiere, abandon your pantyhose on the floor. when the door to the bathroom reopens, you pick up the blanket once more, wrap it around yourself, push your clothes off to the corner of the room, sit back down where he left you.

“hey,” he says as he reenters the living room, as he sees your open eyes. “did you have a nice nap?”

“yeah,” you say, flustered; suddenly, you’re cold, and the chill brings your bare skin to a heady alertness. with the blanket covering your shoulders and the tops of your thighs, you appear not to have moved since he left.

“do you need me to drive you home?” he asks kindly, goodheartedly, as though ten days is nothing, as though he doesn’t feel deprived. 

“no,” you say. “i’d like to stay.”

“okay,” he says, then offers a hand to help you up, a hand you don’t take. furrowing his brow, he asks, “is everything alright?”

“yes, of course,” you say preemptively. 

then, you stand alone, take the blanket up with you, but before he can turn away, before he heads to bed, you let the blanket pool at your feet, the living room lamplight casting you in a warm glow, your piquant body open for him, your eyes demanding something between war and worship.

as he rightfully should, he gapes.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm new and I don't know what the right way to read tarot cards is. Is it better to memorize all the card meanings or just look at the picture and make something up?

Well the most important thing to remember is that there is no right way to read tarot cards!

I started off reading a bunch of books that “taught” tarot, and to be honest, I did find these very, very helpful. I know people always say, and you see it/hear it everywhere - to just go with your intuition and don’t rely too heavily on what the books say, and I think that is amazing advice for someone who is not an absolute beginner! But when you’re starting out that can seem a bit daunting.

When I first looked at a tarot deck I had no idea what any of the cards could even potentially mean, let alone what “trust your intuition” meant, and it was all very overwhelming and possibly discouraging to just try and figure it out on my own. So I studied the traditional meanings of the cards (learntarot.com and the book by Joan Bunning are the best resources I can recommend! Oh, and biddytarot.com for online card meanings as well!) I made a tarot journal where I wrote down keywords, took point form notes on each card, its symbolism, divination meaning, associations, etc., as well as the feeling I got from looking at it, and situations in my life that I could relate to it.

That took a really long time. I’m a nerd so I thoroughly enjoy note-taking and studying, so it was actually super fun for me, but I understand how it may not be for others. All I can say is, it helped me learn and get familiar with the cards in a way nothing else could for me. Maybe there’s a way that works better for you - flashcards? Record yourself talking about each one and listen to the recordings? Just speak it aloud to yourself? Draw each of the cards in your own style? Basically, the idea is to familiarize yourself with the structure of the tarot, and what energy each card typically represents in whatever way works for you and will cause you to remember them!

Once you do THAT, then you can expand a bit! I’ve found that slowly, over time, I’ve relied less and less on the “correct” interpretations, and more on my intuition. I have a general idea now of what all the cards mean, and when I pull one, I can have a sense of what it’s telling me in that particular spread, position, and moment. I still reference my notes, and sometimes just the keywords because they’ll spark an idea in my head. I look a lot more at the imagery on the card now, than I did in the beginning, to get a feeling for what it’s trying to tell me.

The thing is, there are so many subtleties in each card, there’s no real correct interpretation of any of them. There are often multiple energies and keywords associated with a card - that’s the part where you and your intuition come in! 

But I will say if you’re new, and you’re still learning, don’t worry too much about doing things the “right way” or even a particular way that me or anyone else recommends. This is just how I learned, and what worked for me. You could give it a shot and see if this works for you as well, or you could make up your own method :)

(Wow, this response was much longer than I thought it would be, sorry if I’ve rambled on too much!)

A Winter’s Ball

Philip Hamilton x Reader
Words: 706
Request: Could you write a philip x reader one where reader meets him just the way Eliza met Alex but is also to shy too approach him so she sends her sister and Eliza & Alex watch them and remember how they met at the winter’s ball? Thank you!!!!! ♡ 

lowkey just had a massive panic because i thought my computer had deleted this, thank god for recovered documents. 

i’m going to see Fantastic Beasts today, which will be lit. 

ALSO: Anthony Ramos has listened to my original song cAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING

AND:  Robert Manganaro who works with Ant a lot saw my cover and said it was good and he sang along with it iasldjhsjdfhlkdsjflksjdf

SO THATS MY DAY SO FAR!!! how are you all going?

i have a lot of requests that i havent written, but i promise i’m getting onto it! I finish school for the year in a week, meaning i’m gonna have A LOT of time to write. but yeah :)

enjoy this! requests are open as usual and a masterlist of my other fics will be linked below xx

Masterlist

Originally posted by papersquared

~

“He’s stunning,” You whispered, staring across the room lovingly.

“Miss (Y/N), you’ve been staring at the Hamilton boy all night. Perhaps we should focus on something more important. We have your birthday ball coming up in-“

“That’s not important! I wish he’d come over here… his smile is the most magnificen-“

“You’re so in love, it’s adorable,” (Y/S/N) interrupted, pulling you away from your father. “Who is he? Also, where is he?”

“He’s the freckly, long haired boy, standing next to Alexander Hamilton. You can’t miss him,” You said, continuing to gaze at the Hamilton boy. His long, curly hair framed his face. His freckles were scattered all over his plump cheeks, making him look young.

“You should talk to him,” (Y/S/N) suggested, nudging you suggestively. “I think it is about time that you find yourself a courter. You’re becoming older by the minute.”

You rolled your eyes. “Dear sister, I wish you would stop teasing. I can’t talk to him. I’d… I’d stutter! I’d ruin everything!” You exclaimed, frowning. “Which means I will probably never court him…”

“Would you like me to speak to your lover to be?” (Y/S/N) asked, smirking. “I do owe you after all. You saved me from punishment when father found out I drank his liquor.”

You laughed quietly, nodding slowly. “Okay, just be kind. Don’t take him from me… please.” (Y/S/N) nodded, leaving your side and walking over to the spot in the hall where Philip and his father were standing. You went over to the food table, grabbing a piece of cake and starting to eat anxiously. You stared at your sister, letting your shoulders slump when you saw her and Philip interacting happily.

“Are you okay darling? You seem a bit stressed.” You jumped, looking up to see Eliza Hamilton standing next to you.

“Oh, uh yes! I am lovely. How are you, m’am?” You asked, curtseying. Eliza shook her head, amusement showing on her face.

“You don’t need to practice that with me Miss (L/N). Please, call me Eliza,” She said, smiling. You nodded slowly.

“Yes Miss Ha- I mean, Eliza. Thank you for asking, but I’m perfectly fine. Just slightly worried,” You stated, glancing back over at Philip and your sister subconsciously.

“You know, when I was younger I couldn’t talk to Alexander. I had to send my sister, Angelica, to talk to him. It has turned out quite well, I must say. Your sister will not intrude on your love,” Eliza stated.

“I just… Philip seems very close to her already. I struggle when talking to people, especially males. My father often told me to shut my mouth, because I tend to ramble which I guess is true but… oh. I am so sorry that I rambled again,” She said, blushing.

Eliza shook her head. “No, go on dear. You’re perfectly fine.”

“Well, I always fear that I’ll say the wrong thing, or do the wrong action. I don’t know if action is the correct term I’m looking for… but continuing, I just don’t think I’d be able to talk to Philip.”

“I promise you that my son is a gentleman. He’s a bit shy too, but if he needs to fill in silence, he can do that easily. He’s a lot like his father in the way that he can go off at the mouth quickly, but he’s a lot like me too. He’s soft when he needs to be,” Eliza stated. “I do believe you should turn around, darling.”

You raised your eyebrow, turning and freezing when you saw Philip Hamilton standing in front of you. The constellations of freckles that scattered all over his face were even more beautiful up close. You admired his eyes, letting out a quiet sigh.

“Philip Hamilton, at your service,” He said, bowing. You blushed, holding out your hand, which Philip gently took and kissed.

“(Y/N) (L/N). It’s a pleasure to meet you,” You said quietly, looking back at Eliza for support. She smiled at you reassuringly. You turned back to Philip.

“Would I be interrupting anything if I asked for a dance?” He asked, holding out his arm. You took his arm, shaking your head. “After you,” She said, moving onto the dance floor with Philip.

anonymous asked:

How did you teach leash training? My SDiT won't stop pulling and keeps getting distracted by things no matter what I try!

Hey anon!

I want to start out by saying VSEPR is still learning how to walk well on a leash and it’ll probably take months or years for him to almost always be exactly how I want him without treats. This is okay. It’s a lot to ask a dog to ignore everything else and not listen to its desire to run and explore, especially an adolescent dog who is testing their boundaries. 

If you have a puppy or young dog, seemingly uncountable distractions and pulling are normal and take a lot of patience and consistent management. With VSEPR I use a front clip harness- back clip harnesses often just increase a dogs desire to pull. I also praise/click and treat every single time he’s where I want him and often times every 5-10 feet, especially on walks. If he’s a bit more tired out and there aren’t kids/loud cars/other dogs/whatever other distraction this is more like 30-50 feet.

This is how often I treat him when we are in a store and he’s walking how I want him to walk! Eventually he’ll get to a point where I don’t have to treat him so often and finally to where I don’t have to at all. 


Words of wisdom from my trainers and other SD teams I’ve talked to: 

Whenever your dog pulls, just stop your feet (or wheels in my case). They don’t get any closer to where they want to go and eventually when they look back with the “hey human why aren’t we going?”, use touch to get them where they should be and try again. It’ll take forever to go 15 feet at first but just letting a dog pull you to wherever they want to go will reinforce that’s how they tell you where they want to go and that’s how they get there. This can be exhausting and frustrating- I know. Hang in there.

Another option that VSEPR does was taking one step and stopping and waiting for your pup to sit and look at you and praising and treating. Then taking one single step. This encourages your pup to look to you for direction and watch your pace, no matter how slow or how fast. This is really helpful for mobility impaired people who walk slow!


Tools: Some teams like to use prong collars or other similar devices, I personally feel pretty neutral on these things when they’re used properly. Unfortunately, I just don’t see them being used correctly very often and the consequences of improper usage with a choke chain or prong collar can be dire and irreversible. If you choose to use these types of tools make sure you’re working with a really good trainer who has your dog’s best interest at heart. 

I don’t use a head collar on VSEPR partly because they aren’t allowed on the CGC or my school’s graduation exam and partly because of my often jerky movements, I may apply an overly tight correction or apply a correction unintentionally. But many- dare I say most- teams really like them and I’ve used them with great success in the past. 


Distractions: The biggest thing that helps me with VSEPR’s focus is making sure he’s gotten a fair amount of age-appropriate exercise first. I’ve also been careful not to overwhelm him by doing too much too fast. For example, I will sometimes go to parking lots and just practice getting in and out of a car for 20 minutes at a time and then leave. This way he’s learning to be focused from the minute I open the car door to the minute I take his vest off and release him. If he’s acting like a fish flopping around at the end of a leash next to my car, he isn’t ready to go inside a store with way more distractions. That’s okay! Take it slow and remember a distracted dog early in training is normally a stressed dog


Loose leash walking and distraction proofing is an exhausting and difficult thing to train. It takes forever and it takes extraordinary patience and consistency but you will get there if you stick with it! 

EXO react to you sassing your friend’s cheater boyfriend

Imma change it up slightly so it isn’t too repetitive, hope that’s okay :)


Sehun:*dies on the sofa next to you whilst you rant at your friend’s boyfriend down the phone. He’s amazed, surprised, shocked and extremely happy to see this side of you, already planning some roast sessions the two of you are gonna unleash on the other members*

Originally posted by sehunijjang


Kai:*you bumped into your best friend’s boyfriend on the street whilst out with Jongin, and you confronted him on why he cheated on said best friend. It quickly turned into a full out sass session, much to Jongin’s surprise. He’d never seen you like this before, and was very amused throughout the entire discussion*


BFF’s BF:If I throw a stick will you go away?”

Y/N: “Is it the stick from 3 feet up your ass?”

Kai:*trying not to laugh and fails*

Originally posted by fy-kimkai


Tao:*listened in silence from the other room as you sassed the shit out your friend’s boyfriend over the phone, hearing only little parts of your conversation. Was very surprised at the comebacks you were throwing back considering he wasn’t used to your sassy side yet. When you got hung up on, you walked into the room with a smirk on your face but then got an annoyed Tao staring at you*


“Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna rek him, I could’ve helped Y/N tsk”


D.O:*admired your ability to multitask as you held your phone to your ear sassing your friend’s boyfriend and helped with cooking at the same time, slaying both of them tbh. Well aware you are perfectly capable of sassing people, he sat back and smirked as he heard the entire conversation and he knew that this dude had no chance against you*

Originally posted by dyoru


Chanyeol:*was eavesdropping behind the door during the argument you were having with your friend’s boyfriend on the front doorstep. Gradually your temper got the best of you and soon you were full out sassing the guy, leaving Chanyeol speechless and a giggling mess at the comebacks you were coming up with on the spot. One particular comment was particularly savage and all you and the dude heard from behind the door was “Oohhhhhhh SHIT” followed by a quieter “Oh shit” as Chan realised he wasn’t supposed to be listening to your conversation*

Originally posted by littlebyuns


Chen:*wasn’t worried for you at all when you stalked up to your friend’s boyfriend in a fit of anger because he had cheated on said best friend. Stood back and watched him get his ass kicked by your sass. He was about to get some popcorn but decided that even for him that would’ve been a step too far. So he just listened to the shade being thrown and almost felt sorry for the guy at the insults you were flinging at him. He just laughed his obnoxious laugh instead*


Baekhyun:*very amused as you walked up to your friend’s boyfriend and started yelling at him, not really caring who heard you. You didn’t show your sassy side often, but when you did it was something to be reckoned with! Gradually your conversation got more and more savage, and Baek’s responses counted for an entire audience tbh, so much so that you had to tell him to shut up*


BFF’S BF: “Oops, you gave my middle finger a boner”

You: “Y/F/N told me that’s the only boner you can get”

Baek: “OOOOOHHHH PEW PEW PEWPEW PEW”


Lay:*was amazed at how you never ran out of replies to this dude’s very weak insults. Compared to him it was like you graduated with honours in a degree of savagery same as Suho and was very entertaining to watch. Silently cheered you on from the couch with lil claps and ngl he found it a lil bit hot*

idek i just like this gif


Suho:*smirked as you angrily stalked around the kitchen making dinner and talking to you friend’s asshole boyfriend on the phone. He knew that when necessary you had a very sassy side and was thoroughly enjoying the bants from the doorway, laughing even though you were clearly angry. Considered recruiting you as his apprentice in savagery*


Kris:*hasn’t ever seen you this angry or sassy before and it made him promise himself to never make you mad, because dang you can be scary. Even though the dude you were sassing deserved everything being said to him, being a cheater and a liar after all, Yifan couldn’t but feel a little bit sorry for him. Choked on his drink after you made your last comment and hung up on him*


You: “If you’re gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty”

Kris:


Luhan:*watched you slay the guy with zero mercy and was genuinely scared of you, because damn you were intimidating. It was funny at first but eventually he felt bad for him and after your argument was over (you walking away winning) he said as much to you but got scared again fuck manliness*


Lu: “Maybe you were a little hars-”

You: *death glares*

Lu: “Never mind baobei, I didn’t say anything” *sips nervously*


Xiumin:*you were fighting your friend’s boyfriend, demanding a reason why he cheated with someone else and Minseok was watching you being savage in amusement. He didn’t see this side of you that often and so was very happy and silently dying next to you on the couch as he choked back laughter - because damn you were slaying this dude*


You: “I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your ass”

Xiu: *tries not to laugh too loudly*


I don’t own these gifs, full credit to respective owners

Okay, I’ve already told @memories-dance about this, but I think I’m gonna write a frustrated post on the matter, since I’ve read things this morning and they made me angryyyy to no end.

I sometimes check Latvian websites to scroll through Deniss-related news and very often I find really mean and hateful comments. People say Deniss spends too much of LatFed money, say he doesn’t progress and doesn’t get results. And my ‘favourite’ is that disgusting ‘he is not Latvian’ shit.

Like, how can they say such things about a person who literally added a word ‘skater’ to their language? And what on Earth ‘getting results’ means in their heads? Beating Hanyu? Well, good luck with that, shitheads. Do they even know about Deniss’ trauma? Or, like, how tense is the rivalry in male fs at the moment? AND they also get angry because of a crowdfunding Deniss did. Saying things like “why don’t Japanese skaters ask for money?”. Idk, maybe because their lessons are paid by the JapFed? And Deniss doesn’t even get ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY FOR CHAMPERY SCHOOL from theirs? Do they think about all those things? Hell, no, he’s NOT LATVIAN, why would they even care!

I just hope Deniss never reads this bullshit. Thank God he’s not an SNS person.

Things I’ve learnt are apparently British slang which as opened my eyes:
*editI put the definitions

Numpty- An incompetent or unwise person.  (Idiot basically)
Nob- Person of high social status, snob. (personally, I use it as like nob head so dick head bc it’s also a slang for dick)
Paddy-  A temper tantrum.
Skive- Feigning illness to get out of going to work or school.  (I don’t believe that one is just used here)
Steaming- The state of extreme drunkenness, or extreme anger.  (huh never heard it used for drunk people)
Tosh-  Nonsense.
Warts and all-  Equivalent to ‘as is.’ Taken to include all negative characteristics.
Take the mickey-Make fun of
Miffed- Confused, Upset or offended. (I’ve only heard it used for confused but ok)
Marbles- Wit, intelligence, or good sense.  (as in you ‘lost your marbles’)
kerfuffle- A skirmish or fight
Gutted- A state of extreme despair
Corcker- Someone or something that/who is outstanding. A standout.

Like some of these yeah ok I don’t think many other places use but????? I use all of these??

anonymous asked:

Hey Cap! I just wanna say I love your use of repetition in your writing! Idk how to describe it, but they really set the tone in my head or like coating the scene with warm-glow-fuzzies? (sorry that makes no sense). Anywho, THANK YOU FOR BEING AMAZING and also letting us in on the small bits of your personal life, it really gives us young'ns hope that we can find such awesome love one day too

Holy crap it makes perfect sense, that’s literally why I do it!!! Thank you sooooo much for saying so: I’m often very insecure about it, because I know it’s a highly subjective thing…. thank you so much!!! :D 

And yes!!! There is hope for ye young’ns, I promise!! I’m sending you soooo much love!!! <3 <3 <3 

A/N: this prompt is A+

You see, Tony didn’t have a lot of experience with super soldiers on pain medication after a fight, partly because it was rare for the drugs to have an actual effect on him, but Steve was hit pretty bad during a fight and even with the serum, he would’ve suffered a severe amount of pain if he wasn’t drugged. So when Steve, still in his hazy and drugged mind, turned his head to the right and said, “Oh wow. Did the doctor send you?”

Tony’s natural instinct was to grab his phone from his pocket and started recording Steve on video.

Wow. You’re the handsomest fella I’ve ever seen,” Steve mused, pointing a hand towards Tony’s face. When Tony laughed, Steve pointed a hand at Tony’s mouth, saying, “Cute laugh.”

“Want some crackers?” Tony offered, the camera jostling as Tony laughed again at Steve’s wonderstruck look. He took a cracker from the container beside the hospital bed, giving it to Steve who took it gratefully, muttering, “Thank you, gorgeous.” as he nibbled on the cracker.

Tony watched fondly as Steve ate the cracker, he was content on munching on the cracker before suddenly, he looked at Tony and asked with a mouthful of food, “Are you a model?”

“Nope,” Tony grinned.

Steve gave him a confused look. “Who’re you?”

“My name’s Tony,” He said, smiling fondly. “I’m your husband.”

“No,” Was Steve’s immediate reply, and Tony was confused at Steve’s wide eyes. “No way.”

“Yes way,” Tony furrowed his eyebrows.

“You’re my husband!?” Steve practically shouted, trying to sit up. “I scored you!? Holy shit, god bless America-”

Tony laughed, gently pushing back Steve onto the bed to lay down. “Calm down, honey, no need to shout.”

Keep reading

To all my followers that commented on the conversation about stealing and impulse control - I just want to say thank you for sharing your own struggles.

IDK if any of the new perspectives will help the person, but it warms my heart so, so, much to see y’all come together like this and talk about these hard and often embarrassing things to help someone else. This, right here, is why I love this community.

There is so much good stuff in what y’all have said, too, and I’ve learned a whole lot from y’all when it comes to impulse control. Like oh my gosh, so, so much new knowledge! You’ve put enough in my head that I’m reconsidering some of my own behaviors through a new light, and it is amazing.

Y’all are the best! Keep it up! <3

For those who missed the conversation:

We are sharing stories about impulse control, the urge to steal, and how we often times don’t internalize why stealing is bad - most of us are autistics sharing stories, but I would love to hear from people who are otherwise divergent, too! Impulse control is not just an autistic trait!

Some of us have gotten past the urge to steal, some of us haven’t. If you have any thoughts or stories to share about your own struggles, I would still love to hear them. If you don’t want to send them publicly, you can share with me anon and I will post what you share.

anonymous asked:

So I have always wanted to write but I have never been a particularly good story teller although I have a very active imagination. I just struggle to put what is in my head into words. Do you have any general tips to become a better writer? I've tried some fanfiction writing but its all super cheesy.

Thanks for your question, anon!  It sounds like you’re going through something a lot of writers, especially beginning writers, struggle with at times.  I know that there have been periods for me where it felt like I could perfectly envision all these amazing scenes, but when it came time to write them out… nothing.

Originally posted by wattpadwriting

I do have a few tips from experience that might help you through this time :>


How to Make the Words Work

Writing in itself is very complex; there are a lot of things to think about, and it requires so much brainpower that it can stifle creativity.  So I’m gonna keep it very simple.  Your problem is getting the words to match the vision?  I’ve got six tips for that.

1. Think About Writing

This seems like a non-tip, because most of us do think about writing – probably more than we actually write.  I could spend hours lying in bed, just daydreaming about stories that I’ll never put on paper.  But the first step to writing is thinking about what you WANT to write.  This means that if you, in your heart, want to write a fanfiction, you should do it!  If you want to write a vampire romance, go for it!  Go with your initial inspiration for now.  One day, you’ll be confident enough to branch out and try something crazy – but for now, just write what you want, darnit.

Once you’ve decided what you’d like to write, give yourself time and space, somewhere quiet, somewhere peaceful.  Think about it.  Imagine your story, until you can see it in your head, through your own eyes.  Imagine the settings, the feelings.  Imagine the climaxes.  Think your way through the first few chapters, until you’ve got an image in mind from which you draw everything else.  Don’t be so anxious to write that you skip the pre-writing stage.

2. Now Write It!

The second step is to give yourself plenty of time, find a comfortable place to sit, stretch your muscles, drink some water, and just write.  This means no TV in the background.  This means no scrambling for the perfect musical score.  This means no excuses, no phone, no puzzles – just shut yourself somewhere and give yourself no other outlet.  You either have the option to stare at the computer for an hour, or write.  Odds are, you’ll pick writing.

Now, this is the problem, right?  The words aren’t coming out, or if they are, they sound all wrong.  So you can sit there and force yourself, but the odds are you won’t be happy with what you write.  So what’s next?

3. Forget Description

One of the biggest causes of writer’s block, for me, is thinking about description.  Describing settings, characters, and actions is a lot of pressure!  Writers have to communicate something entirely in their head, without paint or cameras or actors – just in words.  The more you think about the image you’re describing, the more stressful it can be to try to write!

My advice is to skip description entirely, for the first run through a chapter.  Start by writing strictly the action of the scene – what the characters are doing, saying, and thinking.  Forget what they’re wearing or where they’re going.  Don’t worry about anything except the activity, and write it fast.  Then, once you’ve finished the chapter, scene, or section, go back and add the description in there.  Then you can take it more slowly, and feel less pressure… because it’s already written!

4. Forget “Perfection”

I can say confidently that most if not all writers are embarrassed of their first drafts – especially myself.  I try to never show or publish a first draft of my story!  But when I was younger and wrote primarily fanfiction, there was this culture, especially online, of write-to-publish prose.  My fic-writer friends would finish their oneshots and publish them within minutes, and they would all seem so talented!  But the trick is that professional writers don’t do this.  At all.  They get the story out, warts and all, and then go back and edit later!

The enemy of the writer is self-editing, A.K.A. “I’m stopping in the middle of this scene because that sentence didn’t look right, and I actually don’t like that piece of dialogue, and wow looking back that whole page was really wordy, maybe I should cut that out before I continue,” etc.  It’s the anxious writer’s mind that destroys us, one and all.  So allow yourself to stink!  Cringe at what you write, and laugh, and keep going, until it’s all on paper.  Then edit it.  Make it pretty later, and your troubles will cease – I promise!

5. Follow Your Characters

A lot of the challenge with starting a story/scene is wondering where the plot should go – how the conversations should transpire, what scenes should happen and when and where, and so forth.  The time we spend thinking about these things is time better spent on actual writing.  So when in doubt, follow your characters – especially your Point-of-View characters.  Think about where they want to go, what they want to do, and when they want to do it.  Write from the perspective of your character, and allow that character to take the blame for all your decisions.  It takes the pressure off you and gives you a guiding voice inside your head!

6. Follow Your Instincts

Although I do insist that you keep from self-editing, there are times when that inner voice is giving some good advice.  Most of the time that I’m blocked, or I feel negative about a scene, it’s because something isn’t right.  Either I’m pushing something too hard, or starting a plot too early, or putting characters in unrealistic situations or relationships.  If everything inside me is saying something isn’t right, it often benefits me to review everything as a whole – not to fix tiny writing mistakes, but to assess the plot.  You may feel dissatisfied with your work because of the plot behind it!  Maybe you’re moving the story too quickly or too slowly, or your characters are bland, or there isn’t enough story to keep it interesting.  Think about these things, and trust yourself.  Whether or not you consider yourself an experienced writer, you have the instinct, and you should follow it no matter what!


That’s all I have off the top of my head, but if you want more in-depth help with any of these things, feel free to send me another question!  Thanks again, and Merry Christmas :)

Originally posted by our-summer-christmas


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!

Crooked Chapter 2

G-Dragon/Reader

Summary:Big Bang Mafia AU- 

Chapter 1   Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

When the members of Kwon Ji Yong’s men take up a deal with the Italian mob, they think kidnapping one young woman will be a piece of cake. But all isn’t as it seems, and soon Ji Yong is realizing that maybe he’s bitten off more than he can chew…..

Disclaimer : Rated M for violence, and eventual smut.

Keep reading

Headcanon Love can’t conquer it all (Angst)

Fandom: Kiss By The Baddest Bidder
Category: Angst / Drama
Character: Eisuke, Soryu, Shuichi
Notes: Been drafting / plotting too much smut and wrecking my brain for fluff ideas so here’s an angst to balance my mind

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 

 Eisuke

“Like you can ever leave me.” The last thing he said lingers in my head for days, the very same arrogant ass I have fallen for challenges me. He has changed, I can’t deny that but there are some things I can never get used to and Eisuke doesn’t seem to understand. Same as the fact that he sees no point in saying “I love you” since I already know. He often reminds me how lucky I’m to be chosen by him like I haven’t been given a choice in that matter. He’s the person who runs after me at the bridge and promises me a different world. Well, he delivers but it’s not something of my choosing either. I desire happiness, true happiness. No thousands dollars worth of jewellery or fancy clothes; normal movie dates instead of forced IVC banquet or inhumane auctions. I love him, I do but I can’t live his life. I will always be that naive girl who’s too easy to read or having a heart attack everytime they discuss getting rid of someone like throwing away a piece of garbage. I need someone who loves me the way I am rather than constantly trying to “upgrade” me into a woman’s “worthy” of his love. I’m perfect the way it is and there’s no need to prove anything to anyone.  

After spending weeks with Baba to avoid Eisuke, he’s been bringing me to parties to cheer me up. Luckily Ota’s too occupied with his upcoming competition to bother us. Baba jokingly lends me one of those freaky masks from Ota so I’ve been going in and out of the hotel with another girl’s face, lighting up my hopes for a new beginning. Eventually, I hand in the hotel resignation and beg Mr. Kenzki not to report anything till I’ve left. He must have felt sorry for me as Ichinomiya’s woman, it’s all in his eyes. After much consideration, I phone my mother and explain the need for my short disappearance. Then finally on one fine Tuesday morning where Eisuke has gone to another country for business, I get on a train to Narita airport, pick a random city and never look back.

Soryu

“You’re nothing but a whore.” The cool air in the Ice Dragon’s office brushing against my red and hot cheeks with tear streaming from the corners of my eyes. Feeling the gazes on me, I find no strength to look up at anyone and neither does anyone dare to say a word. Not even the leader of this very gang.

I run out of the place and burry myself in bed, hearing the banging at my door, a man’s shout soon follows, “Open up, ______.” The love of my life has made me a mistress, put my life in danger and now has his wife humiliates me in front of the whole mobs. I have it all coming, haven’t I? He’s only marrying her for power, he wouldn’t touch her. He’s securing his place when she’s pregnant, he doesn’t love her. He now has a family to protect, divorcing her is not an option. I have it coming, I put myself in this hell, I am responsible for my own humiliation. I deserve this.

“I’m sorry.” My apartment’s door’s kicked open and Soryu comes to the side of my bed, stroking my hair gently as he apologizes. Hesitantly, I sit up to face him with my swollen eyes, “You are never going to leave her, are you?” He’s about to part his lips then stops and pulls me into his chest instead, hearing his heartbeat up close has always calmed me, giving me strength to go on with whatever situations I’m in but this time, it feels different. I feel empty, hopeless but most of all, exhausted. After spending another intimate night with Soryu till he leaves before sunrise, I change my number, move and change career. He and I never see each other again.

Shuichi

“Sign this.” I look down at the thick stake of document and see the title “Prenuptial Agreement”. Shuichi has already walked into the bathroom before I can speak, he’s a politician, I get why he wants this to secure himself but as a woman, as a lover, I don’t understand how he can marry me with the idea of us ever being apart. Instead of wasting time to read those pieces of paper which I’ll never sign, I start flipping the gallery on my phone to reminisce about our good times and there aren’t many to find. He’s always in meetings or taking me to those extravaganza events where I’m surrounded by fake smiles and meaningless conversations with other politician’s wives. Then one photo has caught my attention, a group photo that’s taken at one of Baba’s spontaneous “celebration”, Shuichi standing next to me handsome as ever. It’s the very same night where he officially “brought” me from Mr. Ichinomiya and I was over the moon. Not because I had a new owner but the fact that I could finally escape from the bidders, the auctions and be with a man I love. How wrong I was.

Attending auctions is still on my of regular to do list, Shuichi “uses” me whenever he pleases. My opinions, feelings, thoughts, none of those matter. I obey him like I obey Mr. Ichinomiya, I never escape anything, I simply got transfer. This Prenuptial Agreement is my wake up call, time to stand up and live my own life. I knock on the bathroom door and tell Shuichi that I’m going to get some take out as we often do. Taking just enough clothes and essentials not to rise any suspicion, I leave the embassy and get to a convenient store close by. Dying my hair into a refreshing walnut blonde at the train station, I carefully head to the cashier wearing a pair of sunglasses from the souvenir shop and avoid all the security cameras. Smashing my phone and sim card before I broad, glad I’ve learned something useful from Mamoru and Baba. Exhaustion wash through my mind and body, leaning my forehead against the train window and watch the city view pass by. Buildings, shopping malls and the Tres Spades Hotel is the last thing I see, in the blink of an eye as I slowly doze off and leave the rest behind.

All images belong to their great rightful owners and source from internet

Things Running Though My Head

I recently took a promotion at work which includes managing the largest team in the organization. To say I’m busy is an understatement. I’m overwhelmed most days.

Because of the above I’m considering quitting pumping at work. I have time scheduled but I’m often pulled in various directions missing it. So usually I’m fitting it in where I can and I feel rushed. The thing is, I’m still getting a good amount of milk. So I’m torn.

There is tons more but I’m too exhausted to type.

DAN, YOU’RE MAKING IT INCREDIBLY HARD FOR ME TO WALK.

WELL, YOU’RE MAKING IT INCREDIBLY HARD FOR ME TO BREATHE, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

YES, RIGHT, BUT YOU’RE ALSO HURTING MY EAR.

THE EAR THAT IS INSIDE MY EYE RIGHT NOW, FILLING THAT EYE WITH THE ONLY THING I WANT TO LOOK AT FOREVER, WHICH IS YOU?

YES, MOST LIKELY, AND THAT IS SWEET, BUT WHAT I’M  TRYING TO SAY IS-

THAT YOU LOVE ME TOO? FOREVER? BECAUSE WE ARE TOTALLY SOULMATES?

DOES ONE SOULMATE OFTEN PREVENT THE OTHER FROM WALKING IN A STRAIGHT LINE? IS THAT HOW IT WORKS?

SURE. IT’S PROBABLY ALL THE WEAK KNEES AND SWOONING YOU’RE EXPERIENCING FROM BEING IN LOVE WITH ME SO HARD.

DAN, IT’S YOUR HEAD, WHICH IS SMOOSHED DIRECTLY INTO THE SIDE OF MY HEAD, FORCING ME INTO TREES AND BUSHES.

FORCING YOU INTO LOVE, YOU MEAN.

GOD DAMN IT, DAN.

Trust.

Request: Hello, i love you work especially your angst stuff so could you do a Sam x Y/N where he cheats on the reader and Dean is her protective brother figure? thanks xx

Warning: Cheating… can i just i am 100,000,000 % against cheating. Trust is everything to me x

A/N -  I was thinking about making a part two? Let me know if i should and if it should be fluffy or angsty x


You had practically crawled into the bunker after a long exhausting day at work. Your boss had asked you to look at another car since you were the only mechanic at hand at 5:00am and now 4 hours later you’re finally home. You walked into the bunker to see Dean hunched over with his head in his hands.

“I blame you, you know! If you hadn’t pushed me for the job i would be in sweats eating ice-cream” It’s true, you only became a mechanic because Dean pushed you towards it. You loved cars which is why Dean trusts you with his one and only baby. Dean lifted his head and you saw the pain disappear from his eyes almost instantly. He chuckled while you walked down the stairs confused.

“It’s 9:00am, Y/N” you shrugged your shoulders as you set your bag on the table beside him. You saw the crease between his eyebrows which was probably there from the hours of frowning he must’ve accomplished. You noticed the slight reddish graze on his knuckles and his untouched face which meant he did the beating.

“You’re point? What happened to you?” Dean sighed as the slight smile on his lips disappeared. He was about to speak until you heard socks shuffling behind you. You turned around to see Sam standing there with his eyes avoiding yours which was accompanied by a slight black eye.

“What t- just please don’t leave Y/N” Your head snapped to Dean as he interrupted you. It may had been a whisper but you heard it clear as day.

“What’s going on?” Dean stood up abruptly as he shot you a weary smile, he stormed up to Sam and poked his chest. You watched Sam and his brothers eyes which ignited a curious flame within you.

“You’re telling her now!” He demanded as he walked away from his guilty younger brother. Dean’s eyes met yours and they softened almost instantly.

“Baby?” You questioned once Dean had left the both of you alone. Sam winced at the pet name and fortunately you didn’t notice. You felt the 12 hour shift take a toll on you as you slumped into the chair beside you.

“Y/N, you know I love you right?” Sam’s voice broke as he gently walked up to you and sat beside your frozen body.

“Sam? Baby you’re freaking me out” He gently reached for your hand and you saw a tear slide down his beautiful ivory skin.

“You know i love you, right?” He repeated the question once again.

“Of course Sam, I love you too” he dropped his forehead to your hand and suddenly your brain began swarming with accusations.

“Sam you need to tell me something right now because i am thinking things that are absolutely terrible. SAM!” You bit your lip a nervous trait you picked up. Sam lifted his head and saw the terror on your face which broke his shattered heart even more. He never meant to do that, he never meant to sleep with her but it was a moment of weakness and now he has to pay for the consequences.

“Y/N, baby i’m so sorry it meant nothing” You felt pins and needles take over your entire body, starting with your hands still in his.

“Sam?” your voice barely audible questioned his painful expression. You didn’t want to accuse, you needed him to say it.

“Sam, what did you do?” You hadn’t noticed you started crying until your grease stained jeans had dark blue blotches on them.

“I- i uh. Baby i’m sorry, she meant nothing, it was a one time thing i swear to god” He sobbed further into your hands and suddenly you felt numb. Your heart felt cold as well as the blood circulating your entire body. Your lungs felt like collapsing as a sharp gasp left your quivering lips.

“You cheated on me? Please tell me this is a joke, please tell me there’s a camera here and you’re recording me Sam, please” You pulled your hand away and saw his defeated posture.

“Sam Winchester, tell me you didn’t cheat on me. Sam Plea- my heart… oh my god TELL ME YOU DIDN’T” You jumped out of your chair as the thought of being near him pained you right now. You placed your palm over your iradicatingly beating heart.

“Y/N, IT DIDN’T MEAN ANYTHING! PLEASE, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU” He desperately tried to make you stay, why couldn’t he had gone home when Dean told him to? He shouldn’t have stayed at the bar, he shouldn’t have let her touch his arm, his love for you was stronger than any form of seduction but why couldn’t he resist her? He wasn’t under a spell, he was just insanely drunk.

“You love me?” The thought of him possibly showing some form affection towards you pissed you off since everything felt like a lie. You stood in the middle of the bunker with your arms hugging your fragile body.

“You don’t love me, IF YOU LOVED ME THEN WE WOULDN’T BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW. FUCK!” Dean ran into the room after hearing your screams and judging by your breaking posture he knew Sam told you. When Sam came home with lipstick stains covering his entire neck, Dean couldn’t stop the punch which was aimed for his head. The rage within him intensified as he saw the clear signs of sex stenching his brother which disgusted him.

“Please! Y/N you need to believe me i’m sorry” you shook your head as anger bubbled within you like a volcano.

“You fucked up so bad, so bad.” you hadn’t felt this angry since Dean sold his soul or when Sam met Ruby. Dean stared at his distraught brother as well as your deteriorating form and for the first time he didn’t know what to do. He was frozen because he was scared, he didn’t want you to leave and he had a feeling you were about to.

“I know baby please, we can work this out” The glorious petname which sent pleasuring shivers down your spine now churned your stomach in a grotesque way.

“I can’t even look at you right now” It was the morbid truth, the beautiful hazel eyes you’d usually get lost into was the last thing you wanted to look at. Dean watched the both of you fall apart and so he gently walked up to you knowing you deserved his comfort. Sam watched his older brother intertwined his hands with yours which pissed him off but the right was no longer his.

“i need to leave” You ran out from the common room and into your shared bedroom. You emptied a spare bag hidden under the bed and you began throwing whatever you could in your bag. You had no idea what your were picking up since your vision was continuously blurred from the tears forming. Reminding you of rain pelting on a windshield.

“Y/N i’m sorry but please don’t leave me” You turned around and your hard eyes softened at Dean’s despaired ones. This wasn’t a movie, you weren’t going to drop your anger and run into Sam’s arms forgiving him instantly after his confession monologue. 

No you had too much respect for that. Often people say love is about staying together and fixing problems. But from the get go Sam knew trust was one thing you believed in and once it’s broken, it’s damaged forever. Maybe that’s why he was so afraid of telling you.

“Dean you need to understand, i have to clear my head. I’m not leaving forever, i love you too much for that. I’m just exhausted and I need a place to sleep so i’m going to Jackson’s motel okay.” You began packing again and Dean nodded wordlessly. He saw you fight so hard, so hard to keep your emotions in check and he knew once you entered that motel room, it was going to be a disaster.

“Look i’ll drop you” You shook your head as you zipped up your bag and hung it over your shoulder.

“I’ll need my car, thank you Dean” He saw the tear trickle down your rosy flustered cheeks. Your bottom lip slightly quivered and Dean simply wanted to wrap his arms around you, so he did. Your arms circled your only brotherly figure and your cries were muffled into his shoulder.

“H-how could he? W-w-w-wasn’t i good enough” As Dean held you for dear life, anger towards his brother rose quicker than smoke. He consoled you as you sobbed into his chest. Dean pulled you away and kissed your forehead.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N. You’re absolutely perfect, funny, smart and everything a man could ask for… possibly even more. I’m so sorry” You felt a slight form of comfort from Dean’s words. You began to walk away from the room you shared with Sam and the weight over your heart hadn’t shifted. You walked towards the common room and up the stairs until you heard Sam’s whimper.

“Please baby, i need you” You sighed and turned around to see Sam staring at you with absolute intensity in which your knees would shake.

“I needed you too, but guess where that got us” You began to walk away. Sam attempted to charge after you, not letting you go until Dean pulled him back aggressively.

“Dean! Let. Me. GO!” Sam’s nostrils flared with pure rage and the last time either of you saw him like this is when he was chugging demon blood.

“No you deserve to watch her walk away! Go, Y/N i’ll call you in the morning” Your eyes met Sam’s once more and you felt like he knew. He knew you weren’t going to pick up Dean’s phone call, he knew you probably lied about where you were going to say, he knew because you were his other half. Sighing you look at the ground realising this is could be the last time you’d ever say this.

“Goodbye, Sam and Dean. I love you both very much” Sam felt as if someone had poured acid over his shattering heart causing it to completely disintegrate. Dean clearly not paying attention to the double meaning behind your sentence he kept his grip on his baby brother. As Sam fought against him you walked out the door and never looked back. You heard Sam’s desperate pleas as you walked towards your car and you covered your sobs into the back of your hands.

You pulled out your phone to see the gut wrenching wallpaper you had come to love but now it made you sick. Sam had his hands caressing the sides of your face while a loving smirk tugged the edges of his lips. His eyes gazed into yours as your shyly stared at his feet. Dean took that picture of you both and you didn’t realise it until you heard the camera click. It forever became your favourite picture but now it reminded you of a beautiful nightmare.

4 years later

“Troy if you think i am letting you kick my ass again you are so wrong” You stood next to your best friend / roommate as you two were shooting zombies in the middle of the arcade.

“You can talk the talk” As Troy won again he looked over to you with an ignorant smile on his lips. “But you can’t walk the walk” You giggled and punched his arm. Your eyes flickered to the watch on your wrist and you realised you were going to be late for work.

“Dude shit, our shift starts in 20 minutes. Let’s go” You grabbed Troy’s hands and intertwined them. The relationship you had was purely physical, you met two years ago and instantly became the best of friends. It wasn’t until 6 months prior when the both of you decided to try out the whole benefits thing.

 People say it never works out but it’s been great for the both of you. When you’re being harassed by some drunken idiot, Troy saves you. When Troy’s being harassed by some clingy fool, you save him. And at the end of the night, you both end up together. It wasn’t healthy but it distracted you.

You pulled him out of the arcade and instantly you collided with what felt like a brick wall.

“Oh Sorry” You mumbled and Troy was instantly in front of you as the man stood behind you. 

“Shit, you’re such a clutz, Y/N. You good? ” You stared into Troy’s blue eyes and nodded. That was until you heard a sharp intake of breath behind you. He thought he imagined it, he thought he imagined your Y/H/C smelling like the same shampoo you use. He thought he imagined your mellifluous voice but the man infront of you confirmed it.

“Y/N?” The voice which made your heart beat faster spoke from behind you. The same butterflies erupted from the pit of your stomach but your throat began to tighten. Troy’s fingers found yours again and he felt protective over you suddenly. You turned around to see your moose standing there with pain etched onto his face.

“Sam?”