things i never see on tumblr

@systemofadave submitted: 

 There hasn’t been a single day which I could say was easy.

I’ve maintained this weight for two years and I am starting to lose some more weight to reach my goal. (About 70lbs left). Last time, the support on Tumblr was amazing. Sharing hints and tips, motivational reposts, reading others success stories and failures. It never feels so bad when you have others doing the same thing and knowing just how hard it really is. 

Looking at progress pictures make me realise that it’s worth it. And I’d say that again a million times.

See more Before and After weight loss pictures  or  SUBMIT yours.

For the one that attempts to love me next


you should know
I am not the vision of strength you see


for I am made of
skin that melts at the touch of affection
Bones that turn to dust every time someone speaks into them
hands that sometime hold on too strong and too long 
a mind that I find hard to understand at times
And a heart that’s far too fragile for me to ever admit


Everything about me is so perishable
I’m convinced I’d seize to exist
next time I am loved incorrectly

—  Odett G 
I’m not sure about love anymore. It was the only thing keeping me here and now all I see is the bloody aftermath of star crossed war grounds and you standing in the middle with your gorgeous eyes and smile.
—  A.G.

You never were good at seeing the things that have the power to hurt you. You face hard time with hands over your eyes and “if I can’t see you then you can’t see me” chanting in your head. Because if you can’t see it then you don’t have to accept it, right?

I know you rather the sweet taste of a well crafted lie because you have been gagging on my Splenda truths. I want to crave out all the lies that have become me, to show you what I have done in your absence but none of me would be left. All of my half truths and spoiled words have keep me alive on lonely night.

It’s not like I fear death but I do fear the tears that will come with the letters you send in the mail. Letters written in your shaking handwriting, asking “how could you be so heartless? ” and I wish I knew. That’s what I’ll write but what I mean is “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to become your nightmares”. I know you’ll see the words I meant to say but you’ll have your eyes covered and the chant started before the tears come to your eyes.

—  Your worst enemy//kayla

midoriyaizukyou  asked:

Hi there! This is an amazing idea and I would love to participate, but I have a few questions (since I'm v young and I have never participated in a zine before) 1) I have never printed art, nor have made pieces to be printed or anything that is different to uploading them in internet, so I was wondering if you could give me tips for that? (like, what resolution and size should my canvas have, rgb/cmyk? those kind of things) 2) I do not post my art in my tumblr blog (I only have 1 drawing) (1/2)

Hello!

Thank you! We are so happy to see your interest in taking part in the Quirks Zine! :)

To answer your queries:

1. It’s okay if you haven’t printed your artworks. While it is generally much better to work in CMYK mode when you know you will get it printed (it works better with the printer as a printer prints out your art in this mode. It has cartridges for Cyan, Magenta, Yellow and Black!), its okay if you don’t know how to or can’t work in the CMYK mode.

I, myself, do not work in CMYK and still get my art printed a lot. This is because my printer can get it printed in RGB mode without compromising the color settings or ruining it. What Printer-san does is, they will still change the CMYK settings of their printer, so when you get an RGB mode art printed, they’ve already matched the settings correctly so that it will be brighter and more vibrant when printed. Nowadays, I believe, printers are able to also nicely print in RGB. So, all good if you work on RGB itself.

As for resolution, we will require our submissions to be in RGB with 300-350+ resolution so that the art isn’t pixelated and is very clear. The lines, colors, etc. Lower resolution pixelates a lot if you try to resize it. So, its best if you work on 300-350+ resolution. No less than 300dpi.

2. If you do not post your art on Tumblr, please link us to any online blogs where you have a collection of your art. DeviantArt, Behance, online portfolio, ArtStation, etc. As long as we can see more of your art and style. Original art is completely okay, we just hope, if selected, you would be 100% fine with drawing a fanart of BNHA characters and quirks and have fun with it. :)

3. We’d prefer if you have a PayPal, but since you are under 18, and it isn’t possible, if selected, we can definitely discuss some alternate arrangements to send you your profits safely.

4. In our schedule, it is mentioned that selected participants will have a creation period of roughly 2 months to send in their submissions! 6th July to 3rd September.

I hope that answers all your questions well. :)

Thank you!

- mod aish

as i see it

world without peace,/
famine and disease,
too many people deceased,/
wake up we’re living in the belly of the Beast/
seasons change,/
things get rearranged,/
on the corner money is exchanged,/ little bit of Cain euphoria when it affects the brain,/ married couple into the swing,/ off with the Ring,/
he’s making her sing,/ what happened to your Queen,/
all these rappers after the bling,/
talk about the streets,/
but you never been in the game or strapped up your cleats,/
better post up your status or tweets,/
if the likes what you seek,/
living in the world of Facebook, Instagram, follow me on this tweet,/ girls post a selfie,/ comments you’re sexy,/ and absurdly,/
dick pics they’re so thirsty,/ unworthy with no courtesy,/ probably a fucking molestor,/ Uncle Fester, when you going to register,/ terrorists in Westminster,/ bombs go off loud,/ somebody lost a child,/ times in life where it’s hard to have a smile,/ want to puke up vile,/
just like TDC when they call out Chow,/
buying as much commissaries they will allow,/ Americas da land of the free,/
but on TV,/
all I see,/ another war to be,/
Russian, Syria and Korea nuclear ability,/
missiles launched from the facility,/ don’t you know that from da last war troops have'nt recovered from PTSD,/ and we have no Chris Kyle regrettably,/ we have issues Congress needs to help us with medically,/ people of America trust you when they put you in it,/ congressman and Senate,/ Bill of Rights and Constitution do you know what’s in it,/ founding fathers would be offended,/ we’re there descendants, veterans and mental health we need tremendous,/
God forgive us,/
In God We Trust,/ Fort Worth the guns bust,/ in the Trinity River guns rust,/ dead bodies in the woods turn to dust,/ cops you cannot trust,/ and these days change Darkness to light again,/
these days aren’t given they’re always on Lend,/ this ain’t happiness on my face I got a mask of pretend,/
definition of insanity is expecting change but doing the same thing over and over again,

I grew up thinking that in order to live a happy life, I had to get good grades and go to a prestigious university and get a highly paid job. But as I grew older I began to realise that in order to life a happy life, I had to choose it for myself and not live a life that others expect of me, whether it be your parents, teachers or friends. This is your life.

I made a decision that I didn’t want to be successful and live in a big house with fancy cars in the drive. So, I packed my bags and got out of this little town that had suffocated me for the last 18 years and drank coffee in small shops in Germany, chased the Horizon in Australia, woke up with a mountain view in Singapore. How beautiful is it to know that your feet have walked the grounds of many different countries and your skin has felt the air of many busy cities.

Please darling, do not get lost in society’s belief that you are only successful if you have a well paid job, like I once had. As humans, we are going to die, that is one thing we are guaranteed in life. What will you care about the most while lying on your death bed, your fancy cars, big house? Or the stories and experience you have encountered on the journey of this beautiful thing called life?

So there’s one thing I ask of you: please travel. Whether you’re 21 or 49. It is never too early nor too late so see the beautiful world.

—  i-wonder-lust 
I’m tired.” she said. “I’m tired of pretending to feel empty about everything. I’m tired of laughing at people when they assumed that I don’t feel anything at all. Because of course, I feel something. I almost feel everything that it suffocates my whole being. I feel it when someone slowly losing interest in me as if they were clouds—fading in the sky during warm summer days. As if they were colors melting their brightest shades. I feel my heart breaking when someone continuously pointing out my mistakes that it erased all the right things I’ve ever done in my whole life. As if everything went blank, and I need to start doing something again that will make them proud. I feel people’s words touching what’s deep within me. Especially when they were the people who were important to me. Especially when they were the people who I always expected to understand the real me.” she looked down at her hands catching her breath heavily. She wasn’t used on opening up her heart to someone. She wasn’t used on telling everything that’s on her mind. Yet she knew, this was the best thing she needed to do. That this can ease the burdens she’s been lifting up for too long. She sighed slowly, then she said, “I just want you to know, that even if people tried to pretend that there’s a black hole inside of them, they will always end up touching their chests and feel their heart beating.
—  ma.c.a // Can you really see me?
The Paladins as Things Tumblr Users Do

Lance: suddEN CAPITALISATION

Shiro: passive :) aggressive :) smiley faces :))

Keith: using,,,,,commas as ellipses,,,,,,

Hunk: lots of question marks???? after things that aren’t necessarily questions???

Pidge: when you’re talking about something you’re passionate about and end up never using punctuation ever not even one comma so before you know it you have a whole run on paragraph and don’t stop until you’re forced to

She didn’t have to speak to say that she had lost someone she loved.

You could see it in her dark circles, chapped lips, and messy hair.

You could see it in the way she stopped trying to take care of herself, and how she took on bad habits.

When she rolls around in her bed, sleepless, she makes sure to stay on her side of the bed

In case, he ever comes back.

—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write #32 // @loveactivist

just borderline things™:

  • deleting your social media accounts to punish ppl with a lack of your presence but then remaking two days later because the lack of attention drives you crazy
  • checking your fps’ accounts and feeling threatened when you see them talking to literally anyone else
  • some tumblr post: “platonic feelings are just as important as romantic/sexual ones!” (bpd voice) sounds fake but okay
  • being too exhausted/upset to fortify your mental filters and letting something petty/mean slip out, expecting punishment immediately
  • feel a mixture of relief and annoyance when the punishment never comes/reassurance is given in its place because wtf i did something wrong why aren’t you telling me i’m horrible tell me i’m horrible
  • losing spoons to harmless interactions that rubbed you the wrong way for reasons you can’t tell anyone
  • feeling ashamed for Literally Everything because you do everything too much
  • “what if words inflicted physical pain would the world be kinder” words do inflict physical pain because i have bpd dingus
  • splitting on your fps and then splitting on yourself right after
Why I don't show people my sketchbook
  • What I say: my artistic soul is poured into this book, my very essence in the form of paper, pencil, and marker, so I simply couldn't bear to show my most private inner thoughts and feelings
  • What I mean: it's full of gay boys
I wish I can love you. I can love you without anyone blocking my way—without any bridges slowly breaking in between us. I wish I can love you, without being nervous—without having the fear of you not loving me back. I wish we’re reading the same page. Where you and I have agreed and hoped for the same thing. I wish it could be as smooth as water and as beautiful as something we’ve never seen before. I wish to have these feelings for you would be easy, simple and not complicated as it is now. I just wish for things to be in our favor, but things were not. You were not. That I guess I’m walking on a lost street where you can’t see me. It seems that I am alone in this world of feelings—a place where my heart had brought me. I hope that someday, I’ll be courageous enough to let these feelings go. I wish that someday, I can move forward without hoping that you’re just right there at my back.
—  ma.c.a // I wish you feel the same way
... Somehow, Still Talking About This Captain America Shit (Now With Bonus Spider-Man and Agents of SHIELD)

So now Secret Empire has revealed its Shyamalan Twist and given the readers a Good Guy Steve Rogers as well as Hydra Cap, and the kinds of dickbags who, when this whole bullshit began were dismissing people’s complaints with “oh come on, don’t you know how comics works, it’s all going to be put back at the end, blah blah blah…” are crowing I-Told-You-So’s.

But here’s the thing:

Yeah, fucknuts.  We always knew this.

Keep reading

“When a heart breaks, what sound does it make?”

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. There is a silence, because when a heart breaks, the person becomes the definition of emptiness. Even when their world crumbles and falls apart in their hands, it is silent. There’s a cruel realization in heartbreak, and it’s that you know you’re about to live where the sun no longer shines; where you can’t even see that your clouds have gone to grey.

—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write #41 // @loveactivist
He reminds me of a cold breeze during summer nights. When I refused to fall asleep until midnight. He reminds me of a strange note I’ve found above my table when I came to work, saying good morning and wishing me a nice day. He reminds me of sunsets with some drizzles. He’s the one— who I thought of each and every time I see something beautiful. Something wonderful that it makes my heart aches for more. He is someone I haven’t seen for a very long time. But he will always be a book in my series. A star in my constellation. He was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. And even if we hadn’t ended up in each other’s arms, he will always have the character that can make my heart feel warm.
—  ma.c.a // Sometimes in Forever

Today is @viria​  Bday, May 13th! And bc of that I wanted to finally draw her sth. After 7 years…. That’s her from her instagram photo click

7 years ago I discovered Viria’s blog, I was a little bun back then. She inspired me to take up on drawing and introduced me to many, many things. I got my tablet bc of her, used sai, started reading Pjo and Haikyuu, bc of her art! I always envied her, her talent, her big tumblr blog, the way she draw. HER ART! But never realised how wrong my thinking was. Now when I’m more mature I realised that  Viria thought me many things. She thought me that I will never be able to draw like someone else, that making mistakes is ok and when I see how shitty my art is its ok, bc now I can see it!! I can improve! That finding my own art style is long process and my art is not bad bc it doesn’t have it’s style. She didn’t thought me how to never give up, but reminded me whenever I gave up on drawing, that I will never reach my goal bc no one will never reach it for me. And now I can trully say, I don’t envy your style, I envy you your power of will to never give up and thank you that you are with us!!!! 

unpopular opinion: there’s no way we can get a great garnet episode at this point

aka why i can understand why garnet stopped having episodes dedicated to her.

this isnt to justify the lack of episodes dedicated to her, but rather my anger and frustrations with the crewniverse for repeatedly stunting any development for her and turning her into a really bland and overly forgiving mom character

garnet transformed from this mysterious mother figure that would do quirky things and have spouts of anger to a faux progressive happy go lucky character (odlaws’ put my issue into words perfectly if you wanna understand it more)

like back in season 1? what were garnet’s flaws:

she was awkward, she would turn violent if you pushed her hard enough, she over estimates steven, she can lose focus easily, her stoic persona made her come off as uncaring and intimidating

after jailbreak, keeping it together and cry for help you would think garnet would face new conflicts such as trust issues, dealing with PTSD, coping with horrific imagery, letting things go, etc

but no. we never get any of that. we’re not ALLOWED to get any of that. instead all that emotion and turmoil is given to ruby and sapphire. really godbless these characters, i still love them to death and despite some of my issues with keystone motel, its still a really solid and enjoyable ep. But this arc was supposed to be about garnet being hurt. pearl was jealous of garnet and pearl hurt garnet. when pearl was insulting sugilite no one went “how rude of pearl to insult amethyst and garnet”. We all understood that sugilite was a separate identity who made her own decisions and garnet and amethyst weren’t influencing it. 

even when ruby and sapphire were angry about how they were hurt, RUBY was in the wrong because she didnt want to forgive pearl right away and sapphire told her that forgiving pearl was the right thing. ignoring the fact that that was a terrible message to send, that you need to just forgive people who hurt you right away just because they’re close friends, we never get a chance to see garnet vent and show her anger. even in Friend Ship, it ended with garnet playing the life coach for pearl DESPITE pearl not giving a proper apology and instead making bad excuses and using guilt tripping tactics (”im not strong enough” “im just useless”). its like the tumblr equivalent of someone going “i know i did something bad i get it im trash i deserve to die”. But garnet can’t shut that down can she? garnet cant receive a good apology can she? no she has to sit down and stroke Pearl’s ego for a goddamn minute.

garnet cant express her feelings because that’s wrong and bad! pearl can scream at a child and smack a wall simply because he tried to be supportive but garnet cant be mad. garnet’s not allowed to express her feelings. Friend Ship and Cry For Help made me realize something awful.

when garnet’s mad its not sympathetic, it’s scary

back in season 1 I forgave it since garnet was an imposing figure. she’s weird and mysterious. when she was mad it was over things like accidentally getting her glasses knocked off and ronaldo kidnapping steven. you could laugh at the situation with her and not really take her anger seriously enough

so you would think given the circumstances, the writers would understand that we should sympathize with garnet since she was violated. which isnt at all funny and nearly made her defuse.

But you’re not supposed to empathize with garnet. you’re not supposed to relate to her. You’re not supposed to go “poor garnet thats so messed up”. you’re instead supposed to react like “Yeah that was messed up but WHY is she mad at pearl :(”

amethyst complains about the house being awkward and taking neither sides despite it clearly being something that she should be supporting garnet in. steven doesnt support garnet either. when pearl snapped at steven in Rose’s Scabbard, steven chases after her and spends some time with her to lift her mood. But steven didn’t care to do anything for garnet. Steven didn’t invite her to come to the motel. Steven didn’t take the time to talk to her. and Steven didn’t make any attempt to relate to her.

and yet guess who did get the good ol’ “get coddled like a baby” treatment.

pearl. someone who was the cause of all this drama. who not only violated a friend several times, but delayed their mission and risked endangering everyone for the sake of feeling good about herself. but ofc the writer’s woobie fave could never do anything wrong :(

an entire arc that should’ve been meant to flesh out both garnet and pearl ended up shelving garnet and treating pearl like the victim in all of this. that SHE’S the one who needs help.

how insulting

a black woman who sang a song about the importance of love and fusion, who nearly fell apart when she saw forced fusions, is not the victim in this. the Cry For Help was about pearl. garnet needed to drop all her feelings for pearl.

And afterwards it just went downhill from there. its like the show completely gave up on garnet.

more focus and screen time was given to ruby and sapphire, who again i love, but get more development than garnet.

and finally we reach “Log Date 7 15 2″ or as i like to call it “the rise of magical negro garnet”

Peridot’s comments don’t piss off Garnet. You don’t see her get visibly angry. She barely musters a response except for mildly bored look. I wasn’t asking for “garnet beats up peridot for being a homophobe”, but I know very well that garnet would not be the type to just allow Peridot to spend several days making off color comments. Garnet looks bored to mildly pleased. 

You could call this character development except… not really? Garnet smiling more does not equal Garnet being way more tolerant of disrespectful behavior. But since this was an arc for peridot i forgave it a bit. 

But then came episodes like Gem Harvest where Garnet would seriously be the last person to just shut up and tolerate Andy’s disrespectful behavior. And in Mindful Education we see garnet using ruby and sapphire to express how they handle trauma rather than Garnet using her own emotions.

Garnet isn’t flawed anymore. Garnet doesn’t make awkward comments or act in ways that are oddly violent. She’s not brash or passionate. She’s just there to offer advice.

Finally there’s Room For Ruby, an episode that made me sit and go “there is no way in hell this is the same garnet before”

  • garnet was already cautious with Steven trying to train a corrupted gem, why would she not even moniter him teaching Navy about earth (i know they think she’s dumb but she’s not an animal and there’s a reason why the diamonds sent out those rubies)
  • garnet saw a future where navy did not care about being a crystal gem and did nothing. excuse me? Garnet says herself her future vision works like a river with various streams connecting to it, and relies on the future thats most common (she when she jumped in front of a spilled coffee pot to protect steven). garnet even understood at the end of the episode that bad futures are possible and risky, and if they’re most common she needs needs to act on it. why on earth would garnet see a future where navy takes the ship and leave and not do anything about it
  • she was waaaaay too laxed about steven failing to stop navy. remember when she said she was terrified of Blue Diamond? Or when she smashed a warp pad just for seeing peridot show up? 

garnet’s cool with everything now. she doesnt care. she became the most assertive member of the team to the most passive. she’s easy to convince and push. she lacks any depth outside of “quiet mom who smiles sometimes”.

i cant believe im saying this but i honestly thing the crew fucked with her personality harder than lapis. because at least in lapis’s case, there was no concrete identity for her.

but there was one for garnet, one we all loved. 

awkward, funny, quirky, sensitive and assertive garnet.

the writers could have developed it more and jailbreak made me believe we were going to see more of her. but instead the writers decided decided “Garnet with layered personalities is a bit too much for us. so we gotta simplify her. make her the walking shoulder to cry on. the friend that enables everything you do, she just loves steven and thats all that matters.”

and that’s all garnet is now. she’s almost like peridot. happy go lucky, overly forgiving and a shell of her former self.

and that makes me mad

i want a relationship where

i want a relationship where he is as crazy about me as i am about him. i want a relationship where he chooses me over any other girl, no matter how hot or pretty she is. i want a relationship where i sit in my teeshirt on the kitchen counter and he cooks me breakfast between stolen kisses. i want a relationship where he saves all the selfies i sent to him because he can’t get enough of me. i want a relationship where he sends me long messages telling me how much he loves me every time we fight. i want a relationship where we can sit on a rooftop at two am and discuss my dreams and aspirations. i want a relationship where i come first before the tall, skinny blonde who sends him nudes. i want a relationship where he gets me orchids without asking. i want a relationship where he is protective of me because he can’t stand the idea of other guys touching me. i want a relationship where he plays scrabble with me. i want a relationship where he takes me out to the greek restaurant i told him i always wanted to try because he listens to what i say to him. i want a relationship where he holds my hand in public. i want a relationship where he sees the bitch in me and chooses to stay. i want a relationship where he knows me and not just my body. i want a relationship where i am pampered because he wants not and not because i ask him to. i want a relationship where he never lies to me. i want a relationship where he realises how important my grades are to me. i want a relationship where he tells me he can’t see a tomorrow with me. i want a relationship where he calls me every time i say i am fine. i want a relationship where he understands me. i want a relationship where he takes me out to get drunk and forget about the things i screwed up. i want a relationship where he loves me. i honestly just want a relationship where he loves me, unconditionally.