things i never knew i needed but still need

amillioncryingporcupines  asked:

viktor's motivational board still makes me wheeze. (also you and keilattes??? incredible. i never knew i needed this in my life. you're both just so ... good ... i )

ahh thank you!!! I’m glad you liked the random collab thing hahah
and I agree??? @keilattes​ is great??? you can put any of kei’s yuuri’s on the motivational board and it’ll be 100/10. look at this masterpiece

*three voicemails*
“you suck, you know that?” she sounds drunk. “i never needed you as much as when you left that day in December and you knew that! you knew i would need you more than ever those next few days and you still acted like a child and stormed out. and i want to hate you; boy do i want to hate you…” there was a long pause. “there’s this guy here right now and he’s looking at me like maybe i am the best thing for him, but how can i tell him that my heart is gone, that it belongs to you? his friend says he wants to buy me a drink but i don’t think he understands that no matter how many shots i take, i’m still going to end up empty inside, forgetting my name but still remembering yours. god i love you so much, why can’t you see that? *end of message 1*
“hey so i’m not sure what i said last night, but i know it was something dumb so please just delete it. i just want to say i’m sorry. we both knew that one day, it would come to an end,” she sighs. “but i think we wanted to hold on to it for as long as we could, you know? i guess we just didn’t think about the repercussions, or maybe we did and decided the pain was worth it. and it was, to me, it was. we were just both so stubborn, so hard-headed, not willing to let go of our pride. i just need you to know i don’t regret it; i don’t regret loving you. it’s just…” she paused. “we were sparks that lit a match and the fire was beautiful, but we didn’t nurture it, we didn’t feed it with good intentions; we simply let it burn then fade out. i wish we hadn’t. i’ll always love you, please remember that.” *end of message 2*
“hi. it seems like it’s been forever since i called you, since i saw your face. i hope this is still your number. i’m sorry i went away, i just couldn’t stay there any longer. i couldn’t stay in that home where every wall reminded me of you and i, of us. i couldn’t stay in that city where every street and every corner reminded me of you. i had to get out of there; i had to get out before i went insane. it’s beautiful here; it rains in spring, snows in the winter, leaves fall in autumn and it’s crazy hot in the summer. i’ve wanted to call you so many times, like when it snowed the first winter i was here or when the ball dropped on new years. i wanted to call you on your birthday, i know i should have, but what would i say after all this time? and on his anniversary, i just wanted to hear a familiar voice. i had your number dialed, i just didn’t have the courage to get sent to voicemail. i hope you get this, i promise i won’t call anymore. i just need you to know i’m doing okay. i still miss you, like crazy on some days, but i have a good job here and i made some friends. i got this really nice apartment with a gym nearby. there’s been no one and i’m not saying that for sympathy or for it to lead to anything, but i’m content with the memories of us. i hope you’re happy, that’s still my 11:11 wish. i’ll always love you, no matter how far apart we are, physically and otherwise. i love you to the moon and back times infinite.” *end of final message*
Things I have been reading...

I’ve not been reading as much lately but there are still quite a few fics I feel you guys might enjoy, mostly fluff to make you smile.  

Originally posted by kyub


Dream Girl – Sam x Reader @impala-dreamer Super sweet and a beautifully written Sam.  Just what I needed to read first thing in the morning.

Castiel dressing up as your favourite CMO –                                            Cas x Reader @castielohcastiel This imagine is something I never even knew I needed until I read it.  It is perfect.

Choosing You – Dean x Reader @writingbeautifulmen This series has me hooked.  Fantastically written and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

I Take that as a Challenge – Gabriel x Reader  @sdavid09 This girl gives me a Gabe crisis every time! A fabulous writer who you should go follow.

Somewhere in My Car – Dean @bovaria AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH! This is amazing. I can picture every single second of this it is so well written.

Dean’s Clothes – Dean @supernatural-jackles As someone who steals their significant others clothing wherever possible I adore this fic.  Really nice looking at things from Deans POV.

Laundry Day – Sam x Reader @waywardlullabies Sam in panties, what more could you ask for.

Two Lies and a Truth – Sam x Reader @sp-oops  I was late back from my break because I had to finish reading this.  The build-up is fantastic and the ending is perfect.  

All of Me @castielohcastiel  GO FOLLOW HER NOW! There is a never ending stream of amazing writing pouring from her and every time you think she can’t get better she slams something new your way and it is just mindblowing.

Happy Trails to You – Sam x Reader  @ilostmyshoe-79 Sam smut.  Thank you so much for writing this, as a Sam girl I truly do appreciate it.

Mother of Misunderstandings – Gabe x Reader @sdavid09 Oh man this made me excited and sad and happy, such a rollercoaster!  As always amazingly written and the characters are so spot on.

Originally posted by wildarcy


Home – Tony  @mellifluous-melodramas  Stunning. I will never get bored of reading Tony and this one hit all the right notes.

By Royal Decree - @bovaria GO. AND. READ. THIS. SERIES.  It’s astounding and incredible and all the good adjective.  Bucky or Steve? I just don’t know anymore.

For Your Convenience – I’m rooting for Steve x Reader. @brighterlights This series is so sweet and relatable.  I can’t wait to see what Bucky has planned.

Spellbound – I’m hoping eventual Steve x Reader. @brighterlights I literally squeal everytime I see a new part of this series. It’s super cute.

I Don’t Love You – Bucky x Reader @therealjamesbarnes Bucky is a dick.  There is a huge part of me that wants the Reader to get with Steve but that might just be me.  This is such a good read people.

Originally posted by shamrockjolnes

Star Trek:

I Can See It In Your Eyes. – Bones x Reader @paigeinastory Slightly nervous Bones is so adorable and I know this was a request by me but it is fabulous and you should check it out right now.  Join us in the McCoy trash.

We are, aren’t we? – Kirk x Reader @castielohcastiel This made me melt.  All the characters in this were written so perfectly, definitely one of my favourites.

Being Oblivious to Bones’ Advances – Bones x Reader @youre-on-a-starship Another of my recent favourite imagines.  There needs to be more Bones and this one is brilliant.  

Originally posted by rugbyplayersthighs

Other Fandoms:

Amends@mywritingsblog  Seb x reader AND Tom Hiddleston x reader. I know this made the last list too but I can’t tell you all how amazingly awesome this series is. Beautifully written and I still am unsure about which side I am rooting for.

Sunscreen – Richard Speight Jr x Reader - @wayward-mirage This lovely little bit of fluffiness is well worth a read.

Bodhi and Finn: Their Journeys

Everyone has noticed by now the parallels between Bodhi in Rogue One and Finn in The Force Awakens. They’re pretty clear. A member of the Empire/The First Order defects and joins the other side. “The same eyes in different people” quote has very rightly been used for these two characters, because they are alike in this way. Both go on a journey of redemption, though I would argue that neither of them really needed to be redeemed, because their situation was forced on them, but nevertheless, they both probably felt like they needed to make things right with themselves, and with the galaxy.

But what I love about these two characters is though they have somewhat similar paths, they’re still very different characters and struggle with different things and have different motivations.

Finn was conditioned from childhood to be a stormtrooper. He never knew anything else. It was only in his first battle that he realized the evil of The First Order. He had to break through years of conditioning in order to leave that life behind him. Bodhi, on the other hand, did not experience this. The Empire came to his planet, and he had to adapt. He worked for them, not because he wanted to, but because he had to. Those were the conditions that were forced on him.

Their reasons for leaving are even quite different. With Finn, as I said, he sees all the evil they are committing while he’s on a mission, and he refuses to fire his weapon. At that point, he wants out. Like he said, he wasn’t going to kill for them. He breaks Poe out and he’s on his way to freedom. What he wants is to get away from The First Order, a totally reasonable desire, because they were ready to kill him. Bodhi leaves for different reasons. He was always aware of the evil of the Empire, but it was when Galen showed him the opportunity to get right with himself, he knew he had to do something. He left with the intention of helping the Rebellion destroy the death star. He wanted to help save the lives of billions.

That is different from Finn. What brings Finn into the fight is something far more personal, his feelings for Rey. He wanted to help the Resistance, but Rey was his priority. He found a family with her, someone to fight for. He marches into the heart of the beast, the place where everyone wants him dead, with the intention of saving her. His motivations are very different from Bodhi’s, but that doesn’t make them any less noble.

Something Bodhi and Finn do have in common is how self sacrificing they are. They were both always brave, but it is at the end of both their movies in which we really see it. Finn, as I said, wanted to get away from The First Order. He wanted to run. But at the end of the movie, when Rey’s life is in danger, he turns around and chooses to fight Kylo Ren, his hero’s journey complete. He fights the man who stared him down at the beginning of the movie to save someone he loves. He was willing to die for her. He almost did.

Bodhi does something very similar, just not for a specific person. He charges back onto the ship to plug in the cord so they can send a message to the Rebel ships. He had to run through blaster fire in order to do this. It is because of his actions that they are able to send the death star plans at all. He pays for this brave act with his life, but he dies a hero. Much like Finn would have had he shared the same fate.

These parallel journeys are fascinating to me. These two characters follow a similar path, while still being very different people. I love that. I could discuss these two characters for hours.

Imagine surprising Dean with the best gift on his birthday.

(A/N: A lil late yes but yesterday was a shitty day unfortunately)

“Babe you didn’t have to” Dean smiled as you handed him his gift “You made me pancakes for morning, pie and burgers then and had shower with me-” Sam made a face at that word.

“Which I don’t need to hear about” he said clearing his throat and you chuckled.

“Shut it Sammy” Dean glared at him for a second, but he still was smiling like a child on Christmas day. He always tried to brush such things off but you knew how much he loved it when you woke him up with Happy Birthday kisses and then did everything you could to make him happy. He loved to get attetnion from you and Sam, even if he’d never admit it.

“It’s nothing Dean, really. I needed to”

He sighed, shaking his head “What am I gonna do with you” he kissed your cheek and you giggled, your arms wrapped aorund his neck as you sat on his lap.

“Just open it you dork”

He smiled widely as he quickly started tearing the papers around it apart. He raised an eyebrow at the small but long box. A smirk formed on his lips “Uh (Y/n)….” he trailed off, lookign up at you and you immediately rolled your eyes.

“It’s not what you think it is you jerkass” you smacked his shoulder and he pouted fakely.


You sighed, shaking your head. He still chuckled as he opened the box but it was soon cut short as he took a look inside it. His mouth fell slowly agape as he took the stick in his hands, getting up from the chair just like you did. Sam came by your side, smiling because he knew. Of course he did. He was the one to suggest it.

“You- you are-” he swallowed thickly “You’re… pregnant?”

You smiled at him “Yes. Yes I am” 

“I’m… So I am going to be a dad?”

You giggled “Yes. Yes you are” you looked at Sam with a smile as he did the same, squeezing your side.

“Oh. Oh.”

And he fainted.

“Seems like I should have made sure he was sitting first, huh?”

Tell him I’m sorry that things turned out this way
I never meant for this story to unravel but by god did it fall apart
I tried to pick up all the pieces and hand them back to him but he saw the way they cut up my hands and said “no fucking way. I don’t need that”
And I knew I should’ve dropped the pieces right there and then but I held onto them until the blood seeped out from my palms
And my skin was shredded to ribbons
But still I clutched those goddamned shards of us
Begging him to please make us whole
So many times have I showed up at his doorstep
Saying if he just put in a little effort then by god we could be beautiful again
Until finally
He looked me in the eyes and said “look closer, those pieces are your own. if you want to be fixed you need to use your own glue. stop asking for mine. i don’t want back what little we had.”
—  Just tell him that if he doesn’t want to talk to me that’s fine but there’s no need to pretend he’s still my friend if he isn’t– Lily Rain

I was sleeping over
Head on your shoulder
Every single night of last week
I left my dorm room
Before I was supposed to
Every single day of last week

I won’t just fall in line
That’s not the way I use my time

You were sleeping over
The ceiling was older
I was skipping class cause I knew I could
I need something to inspire
Maybe I’ll get a little higher
But I hate the way I feel when I lose control

I just need a little time
To readjust inside my mind

The summer after the last one
I moved back home
It’s taking way too long to settle in
It felt like I had never
Even lived there
With all his things inside my room

I just need a little space
To keep all my things in place
And if you’re still there
I’ll get lost in nowhere

Get lost in nowhere

for those who are going to have a hard sunday, wether you have lost your father, never knew your father, or he was there physically but never there in any other way, I’m here for you (this goes for mothers too). wether you need to talk or need to be distracted, I’ll be pretty close to my laptop to talk if need be. people like us need to stick together because we’re important and valid and we can still make the most amazing of things happen even if our family situations are not the best. we’re in this to win this together.

Fairy Tail Chapter 496

Chapter 496: Forward!!!!

• Natsu asks Gildarts where he’s been all this time and how he found out about what was going on, to which Gildarts responds with an accompanying flashback “It was the strangest thing. I was continuing my travels, training as usual, when all of a sudden, I was engulfed in this weird light. The next thing I knew I was in some random city, and I ran into this little old lady with purple hair. She didn’t go into too much detail, just told me that bad things had happened while I was away and my family needed me. That’s all I needed to come back running”

• Gray looks stunned as he realises who Gildarts must’ve been talking about, before smiling to himself and thinking “Even now, you’re still finding ways to help us. I’ll truly never be able to repay you…”

• Gildarts smirks as he and God Serena continue to stare each other down, before God Serena’s expression changes and he says “Wait a minute, I recognise you. You’re that wizard, aren’t you? The “Ace of Fairy Tail”. The one they said rivalled the ten Wizard Saints themselves” and Gildarts smirk widens, as he responds “It’s sweet of you to care so much”

• Serena begins to smirk himself and he says “No matter. I was always the strongest mage in Ishgar. So you’re nothing to me!!” and he and Gildarts rush at each other, beginning a physical fight, as Natsu and the others busy themselves taking out soldiers nearby

• Serena uses Purgatory Dragon’s Blazing Hell on Gildarts, which Gildarts is able to block as he says “Now there’s a move I’m used to seeing. Of course, there’s normally a little more heat from the one I usually fight” and he winds back and delivers a punch to God Serena’s face, sending him flying back with a crash, as Natsu and Gray smirk at the sight, with Gray saying to Natsu “It must be nice getting to watch him do that to someone else for a change, am I right?” while Natsu looks irritated and tells him to shut up

• Serena gets up enraged and he begins to blitz Gildarts with all his other elements, trying to finish him off quickly by throwing 100% of his power at him, finally making some ground on Gildarts and pushing him back, eventually landing a hit on him using one of his previously unknown powers, Gravity Dragon Slayer magic

• The guild look on concerned, but Gildarts gets up without much trouble, dusting himself off, stretching and says “Ah, good. Thanks, I needed that warm-up. Now I’m in shape to take out the rest of you bastards” while God Serena looks on in shock

• At the end of his tether, Serena lets loose a massive Dragon’s Roar combining his Storm Dragon, Sea King Dragon, Purgatory Dragon and Cavern Dragon powers, calling the spell “Abyss Dragon’s Roar”

• The spell shakes the ground as it’s cast, causing the very ground itself to roar and disrupt the weather of the area temporarily as it approaches Gildarts, something Natsu notices as he thinks “So much power in just one roar. For a fake Dragon Slayer, this guy’s strong as hell!!”

• As the spell nears Gildarts, everyone yells at Gildarts to move, but he faces the roar head on, winding back his fist before meeting the roar with a punch delivering an obscene amount of magical pressure that causes the roar to look as if it’s cracking for a second, before failing and dissipating entirely

• Natsu and the others look shocked at how easily Gildarts neutralised the spell as he says “Telling me to move? Now that doesn’t sound like you guys at all… Natsu, I’m glad you’ve taken my advice about fear and knowing when to retreat to heart, but right now there’s no other option. More than anything else we must advance” as he begins to summon up his immense reservoir of magic power (basically like this), making everyone, including God Serena look on at him in shock, as Gildarts as Serena says “Th-this man… No, he’s no man. He’s a monster….”

• Like a bullet from a gun, Gildarts rushes at God Serena and yells out at the top of his lungs “WE MUST PROTECT OUR HOME!!!” slamming his fist into Serena and setting off the magic power he’d built up, causing a sound like a detonation to go off as Serena is sent flying into the sky and dies again as his Historia fades away

• As everyone recovers from what they just saw, Gildarts turns to Natsu and says “Wouldn’t you agree about that?” to which Natsu eventually responds, nodding and saying “Yeah…” and he steps forward, as he screams “Forward!!!!”, leading the guild’s charge once again

To be continued in Chapter 497 “Crash Into the Back Lines"

The crazy thing about this is, I know you. I know you more than I know myself, so I knew how things would go. Even though I think its something that needed to happen, it doesn’t change that nagging feeling in my head, that itch in the back of my mind, that clawing sensation in my soul that still wants to open a door that needed to be shut. To walk inside and dust off all the boxes hidden in there with what if’s and could have been’s. To hope that this time will be different when every time before that never was. Its irrational. It’s moronic. But it’s there. After all this time its still there. And I just don’t know what to do with it.
—  How can a broken heart still love without injury?