things i laughed out loud at

anonymous asked:

Now I'm thinking about Kaneki catching Touka with that pineapple hair and bursting out laughing unable to stop himself. Touka gets mad at him but he still can't stop laughing. When he finally calms down and his loud laugh turns into soft chuckles, he slowly pulls off her hairband, straightens her hair combing it down with his fingers and, as always happens with them, suddenly one thing leads to another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Mod A:

That’s her when she wakes up in the morning and tidies up their room because the two of them get lazy and Touka can’t stand clutter. So when Ken sits up and the first sight to greet him is his wife, humming and folding clothes with her hair tied up in that high ponytail, he literally busts a gut laughing.

She’s really mad because this was very convenient damn it! How dare he laugh at her?!

Then Ken pulls her onto his lap, murmuring apologies and kissing her cheeks and over her eyes. She was really beautiful.

“You should do this more often,” he tells her, snickering.

She smacks his arm, “so you can make fun of me?”

He pushes her down on the bed, “nah, I just want to see you like this too. You look – cute.”

i’ve got one friend in agricultural studies who also does russian, and they’re nice because i can make them laugh by being dumb which is my favorite thing to do pretty much, like the other day in an introduction the professor had a fax listed on their how to contact me slide in their powerpoint and i said i’m going to fax them right when i get home and fax them my paper if we have to write one and my friend actually giggled!! people laughing about my jokes or me actually laughing out loud at one of theirs is the purest form of connection i can humanly experience i think

and also today in our maths & statistics course the first slide said Teil Mathematik (so that means the lecture is split in two parts and we’re starting with maths) and i was like, does that mean it’s only about division? (a bad pun bc teilen/dividieren are used synonymously in german idk if there’s an English equivalent) and they giggled again! makes me feel proud.

so anyways, i hope this was fun to read, if not feel free to have a good day regardless!

The Signs as Iconic Samurai Jack Moments
  • Ares: "I'm gonna make a lot of money cashin' in on your hide!" "I hear that often, but always from poor men."
  • Taurus: Aku transforming into a hot girl and Jack accidentally falling in love with him for an entire episode
  • Gemini: The Scotsman insulting Jack for thirty solid goddamn seconds
  • Cancer: "LONG AGO IN A DISTANT LAND, I, AKU, THE SHAPESHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS - "
  • Leo: Jack watching a lizard climb up a tree with sheer wonder and adoration in his eyes
  • Virgo: Jack absolutely working those fucking stilettos
  • Libra: The shinobi shadow warrior fight and all the ensuing "no fucking WAY"s you absolutely said out loud
  • Scorpio: E X T R A T H I C C
  • Sagittarius: Every time Jack gets more naked than the situation really requires
  • Capricorn: "SCAR-a-MOUCHE the MER-ci-less, bay-bee!"
  • Aquarius: Every goddamn thing about Da Samurai's atrocious fashion sense
  • Pisces: "You see, Aku: I am smart, and you are pure evil."
Wanna One as things I've heard on the bus
  • Yoon Jisung: I'm going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I'm outstanding.
  • Ha Sungwoon: Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk.
  • Hwang Minhyun: I wish more people were fluent in silence.
  • Ong Seongwu: I never run with scissors. Those last two words were unnecessary.
  • Kim Jaehwan: I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?
  • Kang Daniel: Me? Mature? C'mon, I still laugh when the ketchup bottle farts.
  • Park Jihoon: I hate it when I'm eating cereal and the last few pieces are like, "Catch me if you can!"
  • Park Woojin: I hate it when people are at your house and ask "Do you have a bathroom?" No, we pee in the yard.
  • Bae Jinyoung: Some days I amaze myself. Other days I look for my phone while I'm talking on it.
  • Lee Daehwi: A giraffe's coffe would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself.
  • Lai Guanlin: Sometimes, I forget how to spell a word, so I change the whole sentence to avoid using it.
Got7: Early Mornings

Mark
• He’s probably big spoon
• Holds you close his chest
• Most likely spent in silence with another hug and a hum every now and them
• Sleepy, sleepy smiles
• Kisses in your hair
• Him rubbing your sides
• Being all the way under the covers.

Jaebum
• You guys sleep facing each other
• Waking up to him holding your hand
• Smiling and forehead kisses
• Kissing him on the nose
• Gentle touches and poking each other’s faces
• Messing morning hair
• Jaebum being soft in general because he melts for you

Jackson
• Waking you up w/ kisses
• His morning voice tbh
• Probably a lot of butt grabbing
• Laughing at each other bc of said butt grabbing
• “I love you.” “Jackson, that’s the ninth time you’ve said that.” “But it’s still true so…”
• Being nose to nose
• “Go brush your teeth, nasty.”

Jinyoung
• His cute sleepy eye smiles
• Jinyoung totally steals all the covers so the first twenty minutes of the morning are spent fighting over it
• Hand holding
• Neck kisses
• Things almost getting too heated ;)))
• Planning outfits for the day out loud bc why not
• “We have to get up, Y/n.” “Yes, Mother.”

Youngjae
• His loud yawns
• Him too sleepy to open his eyes
• Small pecks on the lips and nose and forehead and face in general
• Him laughing at your sleepy voice
• “You’re a ray of sunshine.” “Y/n….” “My beautiful ray of sunshine.”
• Holding you close and never letting go
• Him playing with your hair

BamBam
• Him sticking his cold hands up your shirt
• You yelling at him and hitting him in the chest
• “It’s that time again.” “Bammie…” BamBam: *dabs*
• Holding each other for body heat
• Bareface beauty
• Tangling your legs together
• “Morning, Beautiful.” “Morning, Handsome.”

Yugyeom
• Moving his bangs away from his eyes and laughing
• Him nuzzling into his forehead into your shoulder
• Cute sleepy baby Yugyeom
• Being obnoxiously loud to annoy you
• You shoving him to shut up
• Curling up while he holds you
• Hair Petting™

Just imagine when Jack is preparing to leave the Haus after a visit and Lardo asks if he has all of his things. 

“I…no, wait a minute.” He says, disappearing into the kitchen. Lardo waits and is slightly startled when she hears a loud squeak. Then out comes Jack with Bitty slung over his shoulder and he simply bends down and picks up his suitcase, perfectly balancing Bitty.

“Okay, I’ve got everything.” Jack says, completely cool and Lardo is trying so hard not to laugh but loses it when she hears, “Goodness, Mr. Zimmermann, put me down!’ coming from behind Jack’s back. 

anonymous asked:

Dick Grayson is the kind of person that would, when someone was blocking the door, blow out his air and squeeze past them, probably saying "queEEEZE" like he just took a swig of helium.

I’m not kidding when I say I laughed out loud just imaging Dick awkwardly side shuffling past one of his family members while sucking in his stomach saying “exsQUEEEEEEze me” and then he just carries on with his normal day to day life. He’s just THAT extra.

Bruce and Alfred are completely immune to it. Alfred just kind of steps aside and let’s Dick so his thing, mildly amused, but Bruce just kind of pretends it’s not happening. Carries on disassociating. They’ve dealt with Dick for too long to give a crap about the shit Dick does on a daily basis. Bruce has five kids and all of them have their quirks.

It drives Jason completely insane. The more time that Jason spends around the manor, the more it happens, and the more pissed Jason gets. Dick finds it funny and he’s pledged to never stop.

It doesn’t really happen to Cass, and Tim’s usually too sleep-deprived to do anything about it. But Damian HATES it. I mean, it probably happened so many times during Dick’s and Damian’s partnership that Damian learned to live with it, but he grew up believing that you asked someone to move or you MAKE them move. And Dick just kind of slides on by. It infuriates Damian.

Oh man, I love this. This is my new favorite headcanon. Thank you, anon.

Bojack Horseman and Rick and Morty: The Hardest Nihilistic Show to watch and the easiest Nihilistic Show to watch

Bojack Horseman is such a weird show for me.

It’s like I need to set a time weeks, or years in advance to sit down and watch it. I’ve only watched the show once but it is so philosophical and life changing and depressing and deep, it’s like I have to set out emotional time out of my day to pick a moment to watch it.

I’ve only watched it once and once was enough to change my entire outlook on life and look at my life from a new angle. 

Where as Rick and Morty is a Nihilistic show too, there are way more laugh out loud moments and tends to make fun of Nihilism. The characters can be deep, while being shallow at the same time. They can be very aware they are in a show. Saying things like: “Was he doing a bit?” things I don’t hear in modern english unless I’m hanging with the theater kids.

A thing that Rick and Morty achieves perfectly with it’s humor is the art of Schadenfreude. Or “Taking pleasure/enjoyment/humor from the suffering of others.” Every single deep moment in Rick and Morty is usually accompanied with a sad or intense song, that you can take in as Horribly deep and depressing, while being hilarious at the exact same time. 

I will take an example from Season One. 

Kind of a spoiler, but this happens very early in season one. It’s like the halfway point of season one, just to establish this show doesn’t fuck around.

The jist of it, is that Rick and Morty ruined the world so badly, that they went to a different universe. A different reality where they died around this time. Accompanied by sad music is Morty coming to grips that everything around him isn’t real and it’s an entirely new reality. Leaving behind a damaged and broken world. And he has to bury his own corpse. So every event in the previous episodes are reconnected or might of not happened in this reality. 

What makes this a very emotional intense scene and an extremely funny one is how juxtaposed Morty is to this compared to everyone else around him. Morty is having an existential crisis about everyone he left behind, meanwhile Reality doesn’t care. Rick grabs a drink, Summer Texts on her phone, his mom and dad argue on the cusp of divorce. Nothing changed. Life goes on. 

I remember the first time I saw this scene when it aired on TV, it blew my mind, while also making me laugh at the same time.

That’s because the show makes it clear Reality doesn’t care about Morty’s extensional crisis. You can take pleasure in his suffering while making it tragic and realistic but funny at the same time. 

And a majority of every emotional scene in Rick and Morty is like this.

There is a moment in season 2 where one character attempts suicide, and while it’s framed in a serious manner, it is also hilarious. It’s not that the show makes fun of suicidal people. (like a tasteless joke in some other adult shows) The inner turmoil is shown and portrayed very seriously. What makes the scene funny, is while the character lies still and alone all night after his failed suicide attempt, the Pathetic Father character Jerry, comes into the foreground, with his weed wacker. A trivial thing he was complaining about the whole episode. Without noticing the character’s pain. “Life goes on. Nobody cares.” Which is seriously sad and funny at the same time.

As I said  Schadenfreude. “Nobody cares. Might as well laugh about it” 

Bojack Horseman has it’s share of funny moments too, it’s writing style in similar format to the Simpsons and typical satire. 

But the comedic moments are usually far away from it’s serious moments.

They have their moments of  Schadenfreude as well. Such as small #relatable moments that make me laughing my ass off due to the delivery. Cause I’m sure many can relate to procrastinating and being lazy as hell on a project or having friends kick your pathetic ass to actually do something.

But when the show wants to get deep, the humor stays far away from the realism. 

There are also suicide attempts in this show as well. And while Rick and Morty can take a look in the mirror and laugh at itself. Like “Nobody cares, might as well laugh about it” This show seems to say: “Life is horrible, we are horrible people, if we don’t take power within ourselves to change. nobody cares. Deal with it.”

Which it a heartbreaking but raw realistic message.

Which is why I only watched the show once and am postpoing watching the newest season as long as I can.

The show is raw, it doesn’t hold back and every deep emotional moment has no comic relief moment to recover.

It lets you breathe in the heavy atmosphere and deal with every screw up the main character commits. 

It’s like if an adult cartoon character had real world negative consequences for his horrible behavior. Friends abandon him, forgiveness is optional, and people die because of a direct result of the main character.

A lot of the problems with myself and with my generation as a whole is that we tend to dissolve blame for things that we are directly at fault for. I know we tend to point fingers at the Baby Boomer generation or society a lot, but pointing fingers doesn’t really help things get better. If you just want to whine and not inspire change. You have to look deep inside yourself and find the will to change.

Something that both shows preach.

“The thing about repairing, maintaining and cleaning is, it’s not an adventure. There’s no way to do it so wrong you might die. It’s just…. work. And the truth of the matter is that, some of us are okay with going to work, and well, some of us rather die. Each of us gets to choose.” 

I love Bojack Horseman and I love Rick and Morty. But one is way more easier to watch then the other. I know a lot of people on tumblr are comparing both shows, but to me, they are equal in greatness, just take a very different approach to the same subject mater. 

I will get to watching Season 4 of Bojack Horseman some day. But not where I’m at right now. 

I am glad I read a few therapy books before watching bojack horseman and rick and morty so I wasn’t too mindblown by the messages portrayed.

Sexting (Jimin smut)

Originally posted by minblush


Summary: On a lonely night, you decide to sign up for an anonymous sexting site. Of course you are matched with the notorious fuckboy you’re constantly trying to avoid. Park fucking Jimin.

Themes: Sexting, Fuckboy Jimin, College AU.

Pairing: You x Jimin

Word Count: 4k

This fic contains: Explicit and graphic depictions of smut, sex over the phone, swearing. 


ENTER USERNAME:

Cleopatra123

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

Male/Female

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

I’d rather not say/enter here:

WHAT ARE YOU INTERESTED IN?

Decent conversation/making friends/finding a language buddy/other

PLEASE INDICATE YOUR AGE PREFERANCE:

19-24

CLICK ‘CHAT’ TO BE MATCHED WITH A PARTNER!

YOU HAVE BEEN MATCHED WITH ‘THOR562’.

THOR562: 21 years old- Seoul, South Korea- also interested in ‘other’.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHAT?

Yes/No

YOU ARE NOW IN A CHAT WITH THOR562, ENJOY!


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170911 JYP’s Party People: Kyungsoo fanaccounts

@imhy_J: Before they sang Boomerang, Kyungsoo went ‘eh eh eh’ to warm up his voice…. the audience applauded 

@o_duck3: Kyungsoo said his name is Do Kyungsoo, he’s average and not good at anything as a brief introduction. Later, Park Jinyoung asked EXO if they thought another member had forgotten or misspoke about something. Baekhyun raised his hand immediately to say that Kyungsoo is really good at acting, that there are people who know Do Kyungsoo without hearing about D.O.. After he filled out his case with praise he turned to look at Kyungsoo and smiled. If EXO as they really are was caught on camera today, it was that!!!

@sweetdream0112: After the self-introductions, Park Jinyoung asked if there was anything they weren’t able to say or wanted to add, so Baekhyun said that Kyungsoo wasn’t done yet. He really looked after Kyungsoo, asking along the lines of why didn’t you say anything about how well you sing or act or dance? TT Kyungsoo got shy and I died

@sweetdream0112: When they were asked who was the funniest member, they said Kyungsoo ㅋㅋㅋ Chanyeol specified Kyungsoo was the funniest because in a day he’ll say a total of ten things but will make them laugh out loud at least once ㅋㅋㅋ apparently he’s completely 4D

@sweetdream0112, @o_duck3, @crepe_0408: Park Jinyoung asked if Baekhyun and Kyungsoo got along when their personalities were so different, as Kyungsoo was so calm and Baekhyun was so animated. They looked at each other and laughed, saying they did get along well. Doesn’t the quieter party get stressed? Kyungsoo said no, he feels better instead. Baekhyun added that when he’s too much for Kyungsoo, the back of his neck will get grabbedㅋㅋ

@o_duck3: When Jongdae was singing Sunday Morning, Kyungsoo was so excited he was moving his body back and forth and singing along! It was so nice to see how happy he looked whenever the other members did anything and I died when Kyungsoo sang My Lady

@luv_baek_: Ah also when Kyungsoo sang My Lady, Park Jinyoung looked like he’d fallen head over heels in love ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I can’t forget what he said after Kyungsoo had finished ㅋㅋㅋㅋ He sang so well •°(° >⌓<°)°•. 

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What I Read During Vacation

So you may or may not know that I was in Greece for about a month in June and I am finally back home! I had such an amazing time and got to catch up and read some really great fics! I didn’t get to read as much as I hoped I would since each day was jam-packed and I had some other readings to finish for my courses. Nevertheless, I read some awesome fics and I can’t wait to share them all with you! (Also, I’m testing out a new way to show my reviews on these posts as I’ve gotten comments about them being lost within the fic summary! Let me know what you think!)

Kintsugi by witchbane, Explicit, 102k (WIP) ***Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Yuuri Katsuki is a hitman burdened with a debt he can never repay. His target: Viktor Nikiforov, next Pakhan to one of the most dangerous families in the Russian mafia.When the two are drawn into a treacherous alliance after a mission gone wrong, the bonds of love and loyalty to family and duty begin to unravel—even as they get more tangled up in each other. 

Have I said how obsessed I am with this fic? Probably, but I’ll say it again. This is SUCH a good mafia AU filled with action, suspense, sexual tension (!!!!) and amazing writing. MUST read if you like mafia AUs!! 

Money Shot by Ashida, Explicit, 36k (WIP)
So Yuuri waited, felt his heart edge back down from his throat as Victor let him catch his bearings, as he just sat and watched Yuuri calm down, patient even though the time he was paying for was ticking.
“Strip for me, Yuuri.” came his first instructions in the lull of silence, the same words he always got, and this is how it always began.

HOOOOO BOY THIS FIC IS SO AMAZING. I have raved about it so many times on this blog but I really just can’t get enough. SO. GOOD.

Pigeon Alley by DiAnna44, Teen, 31k
What’s meant to be will always find a way. Victor and Yuuri? They’re meant to be.

Incredible actor AU that smashes into you like a train going 100000 km/hr hits you right in the feels over and over and over again. Basically, everything Dianna writes will make you cry forever but her incredible storytelling makes it all worth it, and this fic is no exception. 

cancel your reservations by renaissance, Teen, 5.4k 
Yuuri is a college student conducting private fencing lessons for a handsome, rich, and mysterious student. Viktor is not learning to fence because he does medieval reenactments.

Okay, this fic is SO GREAT. I loved the fencing aspect especially because my sister was an Olympic hopeful for fencing so it was fun to read my two favourite characters play the sport I have watched all my life. #writemorefencingfics2k17 ;)

Blackbird by sixpences, Mature, 102k ***Graphic depictions of violence
The year is 1942, and Europe is at war. Captain Victor Nikiforov, an intelligence operative for the NKVD, has been trapped in Berlin by the German invasion of the USSR. Posing as a Nazi industrialist, his days are spent charming information out of Axis diplomats to try and keep the Red Army fighting another day.Yuuri Katsuki, a foreign-educated bureaucrat in the Japanese Embassy, has secrets of his own concealed beneath his unremarkable demeanour. When he uncovers Victor’s real identity, it will alter the course of both of their lives forever.

MUST. READ. One of the best fics I’ve read in this fandom. Incredible writing that engages you right from the start and a storyline that will have you laughing, crying, and biting your nails. Some parts were so intense that I gasped out loud, and other parts so heart-clenching that I may or may not have bawled my eyes out multiple times on the plane. Incredible fic!

The Unknown Unknown by opalish, Teen, 7.4k
Yuuri never meant to become a supervillain. These things just happen to him.

I absolutely ADORE this writer’s style. Such a fun and easy read. Check it out!

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy by DiAnna44, Explicit, 1.7k
When Victor receives a cowboy hat from a fan, Yuuri may or may not want to devastate him.

Please send all my love to @literallynothingbutvictuuri​ for writing this fic. #blessed 

Between Periods by caitwritesstuff, Mature, 18k (WIP)
Yuuri is a history teacher out of a job due to recent cut backs. It just so happens that Phichit works at a school that’s needs a new history teacher. In walks Victor Nikiforov, the undeniably beautiful yet eccentric literature teacher from across the hall with a bit of an obsession with Russian lit and a certain adorable history teacher.

Great teacher AU that I can’t get enough of! Victor is so cute in this and I love how the whole gang’s there. Can’t wait until the next chapter!

Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts by Reiya, Explicit, 130k (WIP)
Viktor doesn’t remember the first time he met Yuuri Katsuki. This however, is what Viktor does remember…

I can’t rave enough about the rivals series. (I’m not kidding. Search up “umfb&mha” and “obs&bs” on my blog to find hundreds of posts of me screaming LOL) Every update of this kills me in the best way possible!

Nuclear Hearts Club by butterbeerbitch, Teen, 28k (WIP)
Being seventeen and chronically confused isn’t always a walk in the park - especially when you’ve been crushing on your brother’s best friend since you were nine. You’d be crazy not to. Victor’s the best thing to happen to the world since sliced bread.

Wow, wow, and wow is all I have to say about this fic. Such an incredible story and descriptive writing that kept me so engrossed I didn’t even notice the turbulence on my plane flight!

Six Hours Ahead by alipiee, Teen, 51k (WIP)
When Yuuri downloaded the harmless quiz app, he didn’t expect to become best friends with the Russian boy who asked him for a rematch.

I FINALLY got around to reading this and it’s definitely lived up to the hype! Such a great read. Check it out!

And the Stars Will Wait by lily_winterwood, Explicit, 19k
Of all the places he had hoped to take Yuuri during their honeymoon — their first trip together as a married couple — he hadn’t anticipated bringing him back to the family dacha and all the memories it evoked.

More BTDS-verse amazingness!! I’m a sucker for honeymoon fics!

(˃̶͈̀_˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾( ノ_ಠ)₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄♡‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎

Be sure to give the authors some love! Thank you all for being so patient while I was away. Regular lists are back for the rest of the summer! 

Five Seconds (Richie Tozier x Reader)

Richie Tozier x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: When you confessed to Richie, you got the expected response, but that doesn’t mean it hurt any less. Not even a week later he decides to talk to you, not so subtly jealous about you spending time with Ben. Things sort of…escalate from there.

Warnings: Cussing and Kissing. (oh no, not kissing! *parents screaming, children crying, Ohio catches on fire*) This is a request. DON’T HESITATE TO SEND IN REQUESTS. (Don’t send in like 50 tho. I still need sleep.)

Word Count: 1,697


“Can I t-talk to you.”

Richie stops laughing at Stan and, still giggling, turns to you. “Yeah, what’s up?”

You glance over Richie’s shoulder to see Beverly shoot you a thumbs up. “I’ve been, well- It was Beverly’s idea! But for a while now…” You stumbled over words, trying to soften the embarrassing blow of ‘I have a crush on you’.

“I like you!” You blurt, deciding to get it over with. “I l-like you as more than a friend.”

There’s a moment of silence in which you count the seconds that painfully tick by.

One. Richie’s mouth opens and closes, you can see his eyes dart to the other boys. They’re whooping and hollering, pushing him and giggling like idiots.

Two. You can feel the headrush hit you hard, along with waves of nausea.

Three. Teasing smiles stay on the boys’ faces, but Beverly’s melts off. She knows. She knows what’s going to happen.

Four. Richie’s ears turn fire hydrant red as you grow pale and faint. His eyes once again scan the boys, who continue to tease without mercy. You close your eyes, wishing they’d stop. There would be nothing to celebrate.

Five. “I’m s-sorry…”

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RFA+Saeran and V Receive a Valentines Day Card from MC

Yoosung

  • “Well this cute butt of mine has kept you around for five years now,” he chuckled from the couch. 
  • “It’s really a powerful thing,” you agreed and relaxed into the cushions. 
  • He leaned in closer. “Isn’t there anything else you like about me?” 
  • “Hmm…like what?” you teased and pretended like you couldn’t think of anything else. 
  • An arm slipped around your waist and pulled you down roughly. 
  • Yoosung hovered over you with a flare of passion to his eyes as he looked down at your body. 
  • Your heart beat accelerated in excitement. 
  • His hand slowly wandered up and down the side of your frame.
  • “I could think of a few things…” his deep voice made you shiver. 
  • “Maybe a few things…” you swallowed. 
  • Because I am obsessed with older Yoosung 

Zen

  • You two were laying in bed when you handed him the envelope 
  • He sat up and hugged you to his chest with on arm 
  • When he read it his smile spread so wide he chuckled 
  • “We’re so perfect for each other!” 
  • You giggled as he started kissing you all over and dragged you both back down onto the bed

Jaehee

  • A small smile broke out
  • She looked up with an eyebrow raised at you
  • You held up a copy of the Promiscuous Jalapeno 
  • “I am willing to watch this, because I love you.” 
  • Jaehee’s smile only grew. “Are you trying to seduce me?”
  • You winked. “Maybe~”

Jumin

  • You held up a bottle of red wine
  • “I’ve got wine and I’m not wearing any underwear,” you stated in a seductive tone. 
  • His eyes widened for a second and you could see his excitement 
  • He put down the card and pulled you close
  • “A woman after my own heart,” he smirked. 
  • You bit your lip. “Happy Valentines Day.”  ❤ 

Saeyoung

  • “Happy Valentines Day!” you exclaim and hand him the card. 
  • He takes it, “Well well well, I bet it’s about my ravenous looks right?”  
  • He starts to read a loud, “Things I will never do: Give you up. Let you down. Run around…” he grew silent as the rest sunk in. 
  • He threw the card and started to walk away to the bedroom. “NO! NO! I REFUSE!” you heard him yell. 
  •  “I can’t believe you Rick rolled me on Valentines Day!!!” he shouted. 
  • You were laughing hysterically. 
  • “And they say I’m the sadist?” he exclaimed. 
  • You were leaning against the couch trying to catch your breath. 
  • He stomped out of the room and right up to you. 
  • Before you knew what was happening he picked you up. 
  • “There’s no way you’re getting away with this!” he said and locked the bedroom door behind you two. 
  • Aw, young love. 

Saeran

  • You smiled so proud of yourself as you handed him the card and a pen. 
  • He handed it back to you
  • He had written no with a box next to it and checked it
  • You frowned. “Saeran! That’s not how this works!” you pouted. 
  • He patted your head. “I know,” he smirked. 
  • But your pouting face was so sexy he couldn’t resist 
  • “I’ll make it up to you…” he stated as he bent down to capture your lips. 

V

  • Imagine the card like this but also in braille 
  • He would blush and love how considerate it was
  • “I love you V,” you held his face in your hands. “I’ll kiss you and tell you how much every time you doubt it.” 
  • He covered your hands with his and smiled. 
  • And looked down at you with his bright blue eyes. 
  • “Than I’m the luckiest man in the world,” he replied.

BONUS: Vanderwood (by popular request) 

  • MC: *hopeful smile*   。◕‿◕。
  • Vanderwood: What is this?  ( ಠ_ಠ)
  • MC: A Valentines Day pun! \(^ω^\)
  • Vanderwood: Why? ( ಠ_ಠ)
  • MC: *making sad eyes like a seal* B-but, the bed.  \(◕︵◕\)
  • Vanderwood: Don’t you have work you need to do?   ┐(≖︿≖)
  • MC: *deflated* You’re right…  o(╥﹏╥)o
  • I’ll have to practice my Vanderwood writing…
the story of the underwear cockles op

y’all wanna hear the story of how @amazinmango and i got this photo op at phxcon this weekend?

PART ONE: BEFORE THE OP

so here’s the thing: n o n e of this was planned. it was amazing, hilarious, ridiculous kismet. 

mango’s had his birthday recently, and so i brought his birthday present with me to phxcon. part of the present was a pair of jensen’s underbears (i think the text i sent mango right after jib was, “we’re close enough that it’s not weird if i buy u underwear right????”) bc i thought that was hilarious from jib and mango is a huge jensen fan and dean!boy. so the original joke was just that mango could have the bear underwear. i also got him a second pair in orange, bc orange is his fav colour. this was as far as i thought this would go. 

so i get into phoenix thursday night and give mango his present. we didn’t know there were cockles photo ops until friday afternoon when we saw hard tickets for sale. i distinctly remember being bummed that my hometown con had cockles photo ops for sale online but phxcon, the one i was actually going to, did not. but obviously once i saw they were available, like. THERE WAS ONLY ONE CHOICE. so after deciding it was completely financially irresponsible when we have no money, i bought the op. 

i can’t remember when it occurred to us that we had both the underbears and a pair of lucky orange underwear for misha in our hotel room. we wanted to do something fun and funny for the op, and cracked ourselves up at the idea. but we were also aware that it could be, you know, kind of sort of maybe intensely uncomfortable to be like (a) i know what underwear u were wearing and (b) here i brought pairs of them for you to further laugh over. i have a T E R R I B L E akdslkjkas embarrassment squick, so we didn’t want to do anything that made us uncomfortable, and we definitely didn’t want to do anything that would make misha or jensen uncomfortable. we wanted them to have fun with us and play around with us. 

we ran our idea passed our roomie, who has some good con experience, to see if she thought it would fly or not. we agreed on judging our plan based on their mood on the day and asking them if they felt comfortable enough to do it was the best course of action, with a back-up plan ready to go immediately just in case, so j+m knew we were serious that they could totally pass on it if it was weird. CONSENT AND SAFE SPACE. we were hella concerned about this. 

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you know what i love about the bold type? how much we weren’t expecting to love sutton (and so fast too).

like from the promo material that was released kat was pretty obvious that we were going to fall in love with her from the word go, she was sassy and amazing and funny. it was an easy choice, and week to week it remains that she’s just as amazing as the promos made her out to be.

and jane was pinned as the lead (even though now we know it’s a very even spread), so we were going to love her, she was flawed and high strung, and someone you could root for week to week and cheer when she got things right and essentially grow with her as she did. and she was just the right amount of adorable.

but sutton was sneaky. 

i don’t think people expected to be ride or die for her. from the promos you don’t really know much about her, she could have so easily been eclipsed by her two friends big personalities and just be that ‘other’ friend who had to be there to fill out the friendship and be their sane voice and the glue that keeps them together. and yes she is those things, but boy is she so much more. she’s funny (laugh out loud funny) and amazing and pure and determined and outspoken and brave and endearing. and i honestly couldn’t say enough about this beautiful human being.

so yeah basically sutton brady is everything, and she deserves the world.

3:50 pm

Every Friday at exactly 3:50 pm Draco makes sure to kiss Harry.

Every Friday. He hasn’t been late once either. Because Draco always drops everything he’s doing, no matter what he’s doing, to go and look for Harry. It’s not that easy sometimes. Harry has a job that, unlike Draco’s, requires him to actually leave the house. Whenever Draco shows up at his workplace, Harry’s face lightens up. He has never complained about Draco interrupting his work. Not once.

Even when they’re fighting and they’re both in a bad mood, they briefly forget about it when it’s 3:50 on a Friday. Like right now. They had an argument last night about Harry getting a motorcycle. Draco just doesn’t get why Harry would want to spend that much money on something that will probably kill him. They both fell asleep with a scowl on their face and they didn’t talk while eating breakfast. Harry left the house while Draco was reading the paper.

But now, as Draco stands in front of him, Harry is smiling at him fondly. Merlin, Draco just never tires of that smile. Even after all these years.

He glances at the clock and sees it’s 3:49. His eyes find Harry’s and they hold so much love, it makes Draco shudder. He takes Harry’s hands in his and pulls him closer. When his lips brush Harry’s, a familiar feeling washes over him. It’s warm and invigorating, reassuring and exhilarating. Kissing Harry will never fail to consume and mesmerize Draco.

Harry leans away again and brushes his thumb over Draco’s cheek.

“I still have a bit of work to do, but I’ll try to be home early, okay?”

“Okay,” Draco whispers, his eyes still closed.

He feels Harry kiss the tip of his nose and can’t help but grin. He pulls Harry back into a tight embrace and relishes the feeling of Harry’s body shaking against his, as Harry laughs out loud.

“I love our Friday afternoon kisses,” Harry murmurs.

“I love them, too.”

Draco really does. Because it was 3:50 pm on a Friday afternoon when Harry Potter said “I do” and kissed Draco for the first time as his husband.

The Preacher’s Daughter // A Mitch Rapp Smut

Author: @minhosmeanhoe

A/N: This is mine and @stilinski-jpeg ‘s first series together and I’m so fucking excited for y’all to see what we have planned. Love you Nia and thank you for being my best friend. 

Relationship: Mitch Rapp x Reader / Mitch Rapp x OFC

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Fingering, Oral (Male on Female), Sinning, Underage Drinking, and Swearing.

Word Count: 6,176

Song: Shape of You by Ed Sheeran

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked, my nervous voice ringing with the sound of my heels clicking against the pavement.

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Bombshell

An anon asked for a Reid fic where the reader is British and he gets turned on by her accent.  The team teases him for it and he eventually has to explain to the reader why he gets so weird whenever she talks.  I love this request, I really hope you like it!  Added in here a classic Spencer Reid Quote, shout out to anyone who can find it!

It gets smutty!  Some fluff ensues at the end, it’s super cute!

UnBeta’d so sorry for any errors, also flood warning!

Originally posted by toyboxboy

“As soon as Agent Y/L/N gets here, we are going to start the briefing,” Hotch said to the team, who were all still sitting around at their desks before disappearing into his office.

“Ready for the new team member, pretty boy?” Derek teased from his seat with a smirk.

“What?” Spencer asked nonchalantly.  He knew Y/N was British.  She’d been in for numerous interviews and when she was in the training field, all the other trainees were talking about the ‘British Bombshell’ that was joining the BAU team.  

“You know what,” Derek replied.

“Does Reid have a thing for accents?” Prentiss asked.  She looked at the genius with playful eyes.

“No, he has a thing for British accents,” JJ said, shaking her head.

“I see,” Emily said with a smirk similar to Derek’s.

“I don’t know if I like the looks on your faces,” Rossi said as he walked up.  After inspecting the teasing smiles of the three agents, he clocked the blush on Reid’s face.  “What’s wrong with you, coffee catching up to you this morning?”

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It scares me when people say I’m sweet because I’m not. I’m bitter enough to burst, half-sick with rage on my good days. I wish someone hated him the way I did, so that I could stop, so that I could get rid of this fury that rots & blooms inside of me. This is a terrible way to think: if you really loved me you’d want him dead. I’m so tired of boys saying I’ll kill him because they never follow through. It’s just a loud thing to say before they try to touch me and then I’m left with him in my head: laughing, rolling his eyes.

Nicola Maye Goldberg, from “Dream Protocol II,” WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE?