things i do when i am drinking

How to Snag Potter

By Draco Malfoy

1. Midnight Rendezvous: Invite him to a duel and then bond over shared rule-breaking. Didn’t work because Weasley insisted on coming along. Reported them to Filch instead. 

2. Midnight Rendezvous, second attempt: Inspire gratitude by helping him deal with illegal dragon. Possible small talk about my name? Caught by McGonagall

3. Show off amazing Quidditch skills and really cool new broom. Nope. Granger said I bought my way onto the team (NOT TRUE) and I’m pretty sure Potter believed it. 

4. Send carefully composed and endearing Valentine (the only good thing Lockhart has ever done). I don’t think he liked it very much, despite the brilliant lyrics I composed. Ended up shifting blame onto the Girl Weasel. Fairly certain he doesn’t suspect.

5. Become gravely injured in order to appeal to his Savior Complex and inspire feelings of protectiveness. DO NOT ATTEMPT AGAIN. Was nearly murdered when I insulted that giant filthy chicken, and yet Potter decided that IT was the victim?! Unacceptable. I will not rest until that beast is put down.

6. A fun prank! He seems to enjoy stuff like this when the Weasley Twins do it, so I’m sure he will laugh. Learn to sew. It turns out that Potter has no sense of humor as well as very poor vision, because he nearly killed me with that damn Patronus Charm. Although I must admit, it is kind of hot that he can already do a Patronus.

7. Support him with Triwizard Tournament badges! Okay, this one was probably my fault. Pansy saw me experimenting with them and I changed the messages at the last minute. Why can’t he just realize that I don’t mean it?

8. Report Potter’s tragic story to the Prophet to increase sympathy and support. Exaggerate if it will get him more attention. I realize now that Potter does not like attention. Also Skeeter made out like Potter is in some sort of love triangle involving Granger, which is not even remotely acceptable. This was a mistake.

9. Show respect for his friends by composing an encouraging song in Weasley’s honor. Apparently making the title sound complimentary isn’t enough to negate other more insulting lyrics. Honestly this was doomed from the start because there is literally nothing good about the Weasel except his best friend.

10. Impress him with your status and power by leading the Inquisitorial Squad. Umbridge is an absolute menace and I am an idiot.

11. Make him jealous: Flirt excessively with Pansy. I don’t think he even noticed.

12. Show him your sensitive side by crying in the girls’ loo. Fuck.

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. 

13. Realize you’ve been a complete arse for your entire life. Regret everything. Do your best to become someone who does the right thing. Don’t identify Potter when asked. Stop cronies from killing him. Apologize sincerely after he gets you off at your trial. Invite him for dinner. 

14. Invite him for drinks. 

15. Buy him a birthday present. 

16. Kiss him. 

17. Go back to his flat. 

18. Refuse to leave his bed. This only works for so long.

19. Attempt to make him breakfast.

20. Come out to the Prophet together.

21. Date for three years.

22. Say “yes.”

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!


‘  at night i dream of you.  ’
‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’
‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’
‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’
‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’
‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’
‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’
‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’
‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’
‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’
‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’
‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’
‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’
‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’
‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’
‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’
‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’
‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’
‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’
‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’
‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’
‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’
‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’
‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’
‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’
‘  please don’t go.  ’
‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’
‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’
‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’
‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’
‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’
‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’
‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’
‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’
‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’
‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’
‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’
‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’
‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’
‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’
‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’
‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’


‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’
‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’
‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’
‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’
‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’
‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’
‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’
‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’
‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’
‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’
‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’
‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’
‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’
‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’
‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’
‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’
‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’
‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’
‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’
‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’
‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’
‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’
‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’
‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’
‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’
‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’
‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’
‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’
‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’
‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’
‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’
‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’
‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’
‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’
‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’
‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’
‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’
‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’
‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’
‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’
‘  would you even miss me?  ’
‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’
‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’
‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’
‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’
‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’
‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’
‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’
‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’
‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’
‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’
‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’
‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’
‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’
‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’
‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’
‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’
‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’

NCT 127 reaction to you falling asleep on their lap


Anon: Nct 127 reaction to you falling asleep on their lap😊

This was such a cute request to write istg🤧These are the types of requests I like writing and I easily get carried away too😂As you can see by the length of these lol, I am perfectly aware that I have basically written mini scenarios or drabbles lmal yall better love me after this😇❤️😂


Originally posted by nctuhohahyes

When you arrived by at your shared apartment, skin pale and eye bags prominent after a long day of work and university, all you wanted to do with sleep - literally. Eating, drinking, doing your essays, were all the last things on your mind but they were things that needed doing, regardless of what you wanted. 

Taeil watched silently as you moved around the kitchen, rustling together some food for the pair of you, your figure moving slowly and lacking. He stood from his place on the sofa, halting your movements when he gently pulled your arm. You tried to protest but Taeil raised any eyebrow, his way of telling you not to bother arguing back because you both knew this was the right thing to do. He brought you back to the sofa, allowing you to lie down on the sofa, head in his lap. 

Quickly, he felt your breathing calm and your light snores, his hands playing with your hair, which only helped but lull you into your sleep. He wouldn’t have much of a reaction, and wouldn’t say much either; but he’d be very worried for you, eyebrows furrowed as you slept. 

Unlike the other members, who’d find it cute that you were sleeping on him like that, he’d find it upsetting and a sign you weren’t sleeping well right now.


Originally posted by fluffandfluff

Johnny would be aware of how much you loved to sleep. You could sleep anywhere, everywhere, anytime, something he was merely jealous of you of. It wouldn’t be the first time you fell asleep in his lap, but it would be the first time you do it around the other members. 

You falling asleep against, on his shoulder, across his lap, in his lap, wouldn’t come as a surprise to him. He’d be used to you having a little nap on him, finding your warmth comforting and reassuring, so sometimes wouldn’t realise when you had actually fallen asleep on him. 

The other members started to hear your light, steady breathing, occasionally looking at you then at Johnny, waiting for him to actually acknowledge your sleeping. Eventually one of the members pointed at you, attracting Johnny’s attention and turning his head towards you only to find your head laying on his lap, hand intertwined with his, your legs brought up to your chest. 

Some of the members, like Taeyong and Doyoung, cooed at you, finding it absolutely adorable, which only made Johnny blush and his heart flutter at you. He’d look pretty relaxed, but inside, he’d be so excited and fluffy, finding it cute how you were comfortable enough with him to do this around his members.


Originally posted by dimplesjae

Taeyong would be sat up on his dorm bed, flicking through his social media, headphones blasting music and replying to some messages, when you quietly entered his room, grabbing his attention. He instantly noticed how quiet and tired you looked, the smile on your face not exactly looking as bright as it usually is, and his eyes softened at you. 

Patting the space on the bed beside him, he ushered you over, taking off his headphones and putting his phone away. You smiled at him again gratefully, taking slow, heavy strides towards him, and climbing onto his bed and into his arms. He sighed into your hair, brushing his fingers lightly through your hair and humming softly, something he knew helped you go to sleep. 

Eventually, you slumped heavily against him, moving your body so your frame nestled tightly against his legs, and your head laid in his lap. Taeyong would find you so cute, watching you in adoration and continuing to play with your hair. Your presence would always calm him, even if you were sleeping, so he’d try to savour the moment. 

You like this, would also give him the opportunity the to admire you, sometimes tracing your features lightly; he’d just think you were so adorable and innocent like this.


Originally posted by taei

Yuta would be the type of boyfriend to take photos of you on his phone all the time. Majority of them would be taken without you even realising and off guard, which would always make him giggle and tease you about them. And he’d especially take them if you had fallen asleep. 

Although he’d laugh at you and say that you snore loudly and drool in your sleep, he’d find you adorable in you fell asleep in his lap. He wasn’t sure exactly why this was; maybe it was because you looked so cute or because it was such an innocent gesture or because it would make him feel so special. But he’d love it and would actually be the only time where he didn’t take photos of you, and if he did, they’d be super cute and good ones. 

However you actually falling asleep on his lap would be rare; you’d always try to avoid doing so because of his teasing and photo-taking, embarrassed by his actions. But sometimes, you just wouldn’t be able to help it, settling into his lap and napping there. 

And Yuta would always tell you when you wake up how cute you are and pretty, practically gushing about you and complimenting you. He’d quickly realise that he was the reason why you didn’t like sleeping in his lap, so would try to make it up to you and reassure you that he liked it and was sorry if he made you uncomfortable.


Originally posted by hey-uta

Doyoung would feel a little flustered to have you sleeping soundly on his lap. He would find it hard to understand how you could possibly sleep in such an uncomfortable position, and not somewhere normal, maybe like a bed

He wouldn’t have even noticed you at first; you both were on his bed, him on his phone, searching intensely at memes for some inspiration for the next album, you just daydreaming against him. He was so distracted by his research, that he didn’t hear your stifled yawns, he didn’t feel you slump heavily against him as you started to doze off, he didn’t even realise that you had your head on his lap, deep in sleep. 

Only when he wanted to get up to print something out to show the other members, and was held back by the weight of you on his lap, did he realise. Blushing deeply, he sat back, unsure of what to do. His arms would be in mid-air, him not knowing what to do with his hands or where to put them.

After a couple of minutes of gawping and confusion, he’d relax back against the headboard of his bed, lightly putting one of his hands over your hair and the other stroking your arm gently. He’d feel a bit awkward, even though no one could see him and you were asleep and oblivious to the deep shade of pink tinted on his cheeks. 

Over time, and the more times it happened, he’d get more comfortable and like it even more; but maybe the first time he’d feel a little flustered.


Originally posted by neotechs

No joke, I literally think Jaehyun would start squealing in his place. He’d be that type of boyfriend to find everything you did, every move you made, everything you said, the cutest and more precious thing ever. As a boyfriend, he’d be very lenient and selfless towards you; he’d only think of you in his life, practically waiting on you hand and foot. Something like this would totally melt his heart, no matter how many times it might happen. 

You’d be slouched against him in the dorms, him chatting and laughing with Ten and Johnny, when he noticed how your breathing had started to slow down and you were talking less and less. His arms would snake around your shoulders, bringing your face to his chest to which you subconsciously snuggled into. 

You hadn’t even got to the bit where you laid your head in his lap yet, and he was already blushing and grinning like a fool. It would literally get to the point that Jaehyun was so distracted by you that he didn’t hear Ten’s question or see Johnny waving to try to get his attention. Eventually they’d give up getting his attention, leaving the room to let Jaehyun carry on being creepy admiring you. 

When you did move your body in your sleep, so that you were lying down, head in his lap, Jaehyun would gasp, cheeks heating up. He’d be grinning so wide, his hands flapping in the air with excitement and some squealing sounds escaping his mouth. 

Shaking with enthusiasm in his place, he would finally calm down, resorting to just playing with your hair and taking a few photos of you; but the wide smile on his face wouldn’t leave at all.


Originally posted by blackgirlslovebts

WinWin would like it but probably wouldn’t stay there for long; not because he didn’t like it but because he’d worry that you’d sleep badly or were uncomfortable. 

It’d be late at night when you did this once, WinWin staying up late to message his family back home and to just relax with you for a bit. You had tried hard to stay up with him, but found it difficult after the day you had just had; what with work, studying, going out with friends for lunch, you were shattered and yearned to sleep. Nevertheless you fought your own needs, wanting to stay up with your boyfriend since you never really had much time with him like this anymore. 

Unfortunately, you just had to listen to your body and sleep, moving down to nestle your head quietly in his lap. He’d smile at you, brushing your hair out your face, very much aware that you had been trying so hard to stay up with him. 

After a few minutes though, he’d worry a bit for you; in your relationship, he’d always secretly fret if you were eating enough, or drinking enough, or sleeping well. So, after a bit of thinking, he’d decide to gently turn you, lifting your head slightly so it could now rest of the bed pillows instead of his lap. 

He’d rearrange the bed covers so they covered you both, and he’d lie next to you, much preferring having you sleep like this as he could admire you easier and hold you close to him.


Originally posted by dovounq

The first time you fell asleep in his lap because let’s be real here you would probably end up doing it a lot of the time would  also be in front of the some of the members. Mark would always try to keep PDA to a minimum, and skinship in general too, liking to only holding your hand and having an arm wrapped lazily around your shoulders. 

Even though you didn’t mean to fall asleep on his lap, it did happen and Mark would probably freeze up, looking at you in confusion. The other members would laugh at his reaction, some telling him to stop looking so offended and others telling him it was cute and to relax. 

But he couldn’t help but feel awkward. It would be one of the few times you actually had some skinship with him in front of the members, even if it wasn’t that big of a deal or that big of a gesture; and he wouldn’t know what to do. He wouldn’t want to disturb your sleep, knowing fully well that if you had just accidentally fallen asleep on him, it must’ve been needed. 

Ignoring the comments from the others, he’d let you rest, awkwardly placing a hand on your shoulder and the other on the sofa. Although he tried to go back to listening to the other’s conversation, he’d end up slowly, and subconsciously, relaxing; moving his hand from the sofa to play with your curls and his other hand to rub your arm gently. 

Over time, he would get more comfortable with this kind of thing, just like Doyoung.


Originally posted by haenyan

Would be a mix between Yuta and Jaehyun I think. Whilst you were napping on his lap, exhausted from the rubbish day you had just suffered, he’d be so excited and hyper. He’d sigh happily when he saw you had fallen deep in sleep, loving the fact you were happy enough, and trusted him enough, to sleep on him like that. 

Honestly, the first time round, he couldn’t believe you had even done it. He’d think it only happened in the movies or something, never expecting you to do it. So, the first time you did, his reaction would be so exaggerated and pumped. 

From that moment forth, every time it happened, he’d always blush and smile so excitedly, giggling when he could feel your light breathe on his thigh. Sometimes he’d lean against the sofa, smiling into the air and letting out an airy breathe; moments like this would be so precious and special to him and he would just wonder how someone like you would ever want him. He’d be so grateful for you honestly, even if he didn’t do well at expressing it to you directly. 

Once you woke up from your nap which was absolutely fabulous may I add, he’d change from his blushing state to his teasing self. He’d pinch your cheeks, cooing at you and laughing at you blushing at him. Although he’d be teasing you a lot afterwards, he’d still be very fluffy and soft for you and if you were to do anything else, like cuddle him or kiss him, he’d return to the intense blushing and stuttering from earlier.


❝ you may leave school, but school never leaves you. ❞ 
❝ things don’t change. we change. ❞
❝ do you know who i am? ❞
❝ i’m gonna tell her that i love her. ❞
❝ you have some jalapeno sauce here , next to this jar of eyeballs. ❞
❝ talk to me , i’m fluent in genius. ❞
❝ and this is why i cook alone. ❞
❝ so when do we get to drink the wine? ❞
❝ don’t answer a question with a question! ❞
❝ you’re see beauty in everything and everyone no matter where you go. ❞
❝ you’re on speaker , so behave. ❞
❝ or what? you’ll spank me? ❞
❝ you know i love you , right? ❞
❝ i know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind. ❞
❝ i’ve got a glock levelled at your croch. ❞
❝ i need to know that i can be human. ❞
❝ you’re afraid you’ve let people down? ❞
❝ that’s the sweetest and saddest thing i’ve ever heard. ❞
❝ i think deep down , we’re all capable of unspeakable things. ❞
❝ there are things we don’t want to happen but have to accept. ❞
❝ we save one life , we save the world. ❞
❝ can you imagine my mom in a mule? ❞
❝ everybody wants to go to heaven , but nobody wants to die. ❞
❝ right now , what’s my worst quality? ❞
❝ just keep it clean and don’t call me honey. ❞
❝ sexy accent , badge and gun. just your type. ❞
❝ if you want to be mad at someone , be mad at me. ❞
❝ people need to know that they’re important. ❞
❝ what , did you join a boyband? ❞
❝ hey , wanna read? i always read when i’m anxious. ❞
❝ i didn’t know you were a bad flyer. ❞
❝ sit down and shut up. ❞
❝ i like knocking. ❞
❝ you know what? i’m done being nice. ❞
❝ do not make me hurt you. ❞
❝ now i have that memory burned in my mind for the rest of my life. ❞
❝ hey , what’s with you? you need a hug or something? ❞
❝ no , i understand. i just don’t care. ❞

Disposable pt12

Being friends with benefits with Min Yoongi can be complicated (at best) by itself. But when you accidentally tell your family (and his boss) that the two of you are dating, things get messy. It only complicates things more when you blackmail Yoongi into pretending to date you, and neither of you can quite keep your feelings separate, no matter how much you try.

Angst, fluff, slight smut at times.

Yoongi x Reader

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

“Oh my god, it’s you two!”

Yoongi flinched. It was bad enough trying to make small talk with everyone at the table without some random person from a different table tapping him on the shoulder and talking to him too.

“What two?” He asked. He was fairly sure he had never seen the person before, but they looked far too happy to see him to be a stranger.

“You two!” The man said, and the women he was sitting with squealed.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know?” She gushed.

“Do I want to?” Yoongi couldn’t help it, he just wanted the day to be over—not because he wanted to get you alone, or because he wanted to get to know you better (he couldn’t get to know you in front of people who thought he already knew you so well) that would be ridiculous. He was just tired.

“Yoongi, who’re your friends?” Taehyung asked, drawing the rest of the table’s attention.

“Oh, we don’t know each other.” The man said quickly, and Yoongi glanced over at you. You looked just as confused as he felt, which was no help at all.

“We saw them on youtube.” The women said happily.

“You saw who?” You said, eyes wide.

“What kind of video?” Jungkook asked suspiciously.

“I’ll show you!” The women dug her phone out of her purse, pulling up something on it before passing it over to Yoongi. “It’s trending.”

There on the screen, you and Yoongi sat at the baby grand piano playing “Heart and Soul.” Both of you were laughing, nudging each other when one made a mistake. What caught Yoongi’s attention though was the way you looked at him in the glances you sent his way. He had seen them earlier, of course, but thought they were his imagination. There was a sparkle in your eyes, and something so genuine in your smile. The worst part was how he looked back at you.

The two of you looked like the perfect couple—happy, loving, and comfortable with each other. The comments were full of people saying that they wanted a relationship like that, and asking “when are they going to get married?”

Yoongi wanted to leave. He wanted to stand up and walk out of the restaurant, his job be damned. He could catch a cab back to the airport and never see you again, delete your contact from his phone and erase you from his mind.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

leela that liveshow was. a lot. so cute. Dan talking about love made me 👀

it was definitely a lot oh my god. one of my favorites in a long time and a real treasure trove of open stories, asides, opinions, and general insights into his mind, his opinions on work, his life, and of course, yes, his thoughts on love. i almost wondered if he was a little bit tipsy from the sushi dinner he mentioned going on since he’s always sort of told us that he’s pretty sensitive to wine (he was tipsy while editing that sims video when he left the flipside christmas party in december and he’d only had one glass of wine?) because honestly there was so much rambling and vulnerability in this that i wasn’t prepared for. uhhh, brace yourselves bc this is like,, the longest shit i’ve written about them in ages. i can always count on a dan live show to bring out my inner desires to write an actual novel haha


the meditation bit. that was so lovely on so many levels. to know that he’s tried meditating is one thing. to watch him try to walk us through some of the fundamental tenets of a meditative mindset was another. it was so fascinating to me to hear him confirm the way in which he feels plagued by the onslaught of noise in his life, and crucially, for him, that’s all online noise—he kept talking about imaginary conversations, how all of our communication is text on the internet, and that he ingests so many of those voices constantly and always feels their presence. even though that is a generalizable thing that all of us suffer from, to an extent, in a world where we’re so digitally connected, it’s staggering to think about the scale on which he has to deal with all of the white noise and that all of it is both distressing to him and also inescapable in that it’s the foundation of his career. i just see dan as being someone who is so internally conflicted about so many things and that includes, most centrally, the role of the internet and his presence on it, and it doesn’t take much reaching to understand why he must love and hate it in equal measure.

the hydration campaign. y’all i’ve been trying to track every stay hydrated mention since the one in pinof 8 when they literally made like a psa, with no explanation or context, about the importance of water and staying hydrated and just stuck it in the middle of that vid. i’ve lost track though bc they’ve worked it into nearly every video they’ve made since then and i WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS ABOUT. i am adamant that it’s an inside joke of some sort. i don’t think they actually give a fuck how much water we drink lol. so today when dan was like “i need to find a way to work that into the next video .. .might already be in it,” and then at the end when he said he needs to leave to go “get hydrated,” i was living bc it was the most open confirmation yet that this is something they’re so intentionally doing and working into their vids. idk if it’s just a funny thing but … my instinct is that it has some sort of deeper meaning that only they know and i’m ANNOYED THEYRE ALLOWED TO RUB THESE JOKES RIGHT IN OUR FACES UGH. jk they can carry on w their married behavior but. i want it all to lead to some sort of announcement that they’re starting a joint bottled water business at the very least. or maybe its just a euphemism for sex. who knows. ugh

dan acknowledging his pretentiousness about music is all i’ve ever wanted. it’s so funny to me how just his self-awareness that he is very pretentious and particular about his tastes is all i needed to forgive him for all of it because what pissed me off more than anything ever about dan’s approach to talking about music were his flimsy attempts at trying to act like he was so accepting and tolerant of all people’s music tastes and that he’s some sort of diplomatic saint who respects and celebrates everyone’s preferences bc … literally no he fucking doesn’t he has never even tried to make it convincing hahah. so him just outright apologizing for it today in his usual self-deprecating fashion was like the funniest, best thing to me bc god at least he knows and realizes and like maybe now he can actually work on talking about music in the deeper and complex ways that he so clearly wants to. also as a music snob in my own right i feel him on this and i’ve always just found it way easier to preface every conversation w the clear statement that these r just my own standards and i’m a douche and i’m never actually trying to disrespect anyone who might like different things than me. anyway, i love dan


i suspected and even posted about the fact that unexpected things might have happened this week that caused phil to be delayed in posting his video and dan to be all but silent on twitter for several days. i speculated dan may not have been in a good place this week based on his silence and also the way he seemed to teeter on the brink of quite overt negativity during last week’s live show. to me, today’s live show seemed fully in the throes of that negative headspace. there was a resurgence of bleak little comments about how he’s tired (of living), how he looks like a rat and doesn’t want to be reminded about the reality of his existence, how his life is a joke, how he can’t comprehend that anyone could draw inspiration from his videos or that his stories could brighten people’s days, etc. etc. all said as casual asides and mostly followed by little laughs as is his norm, but it was very reminiscent to me of the time in early january around his 2016 memes video and his first couple live shows of the year where he talked so frequently about craving death and feeling anxious and judging his own work output too harshly, and the constant pressure of scrutiny from his audience. i don’t think this live show was as bad as all of that but it’s clear that things might be a bit difficult right now and dan confirmed that himself when he stated that it’s been a challenging week in ways he can’t talk about with us yet. i was so interested to hear him say we could ask him about it in like five months though. literally,,, i put it in my calendar for august because i’m just so curious. we have almost no hints to go off of in terms of speculating about what it could be, but to me the fact that we would be able to ask him five months from now seems to suggest that it’s not personal (i jokingly wrote in tags that he and phil had gotten in a tiff this week lol) bc if it was he wouldn’t mention it at all i don’t think and definitely at the very least wouldn’t have given us such a specific timeframe about when we could ask about it. it’s likely work-related bc of that timeframe: a new project of some sort that will be out later this year, for which perhaps several planning meetings or deadlines had to happen/be met this week? it’s hard to say why that would put dan in such a negative headspace but he’s said before that he gets that way when he’s sleep deprived and he did just seem very very tired beneath everything. … also possible it could be about moving? maybe house hunting was very stressful and didn’t go to plan. late summer (five months from now) would be a fitting time for them to have made their move, and really it’s the only other possible thing i can think of with a timeframe that dan would specifically tell us. in any case,,, mark your cals for august y’all bc i actually can’t wait to hear more insights about this week even if we have to wait months for them.

that being said, the new dinof video is coming tmrw or the day after and he was still pretty vague about what it will be about. as i spelled out in completely unnecessary detail after last week’s live show i believe he was going to make the video about dropping the dinof user name but then changed his mind (this is the video he referenced today when he said “i was going to make a video but then decided it should be the next one” before going on like a 3-min rant about how sometimes he just feels the timing isn’t right to post a particular video.) so that leaves the field wide open for what this next vid could be. the only other hint we got was that it could be kink-related because the premium he opened that said “kinkshame me daddy” prompted him to say “well you’ll like my next vid,” but then he quickly walked it back as though to dispel anyone’s expectations that it would be kink-related? it was all a bit confusing. on that subject he did note down the idea of doing a video about going to the dentist back in a february live show, so there’s a high possibility to me that it could be about that since it’s like sort of (maybe jokingly) a kink for him, but he wouldn’t want to tease something that’s mostly NOT about kinks by saying it’s kink-related, hence his rapid back-tracking. but like. tbh who knows … dan is confusing and could pull something totally out of left field behind all of this quibbling. i mostly ardently agree with the way he told us to feel about it, which is to have literally no expectations or theories about what it could be hahah … best advice he’s ever given tbh

confirmation that he and phil will attend playlist this year, and a sort of allusion to the traditional lester clan april holiday in florida. probably means that he will join them again this year. it was kind of nice to hear him basically walk us through how all of their decisions about conventions and travel are made jointly, even months and months into the future, and to have no qualms with sharing that. he also just kept reiterating vaguely that they might have plans at various points of the year and idk about y’all but i feel like he’s trying his hardest to let us know that those plans involve each other and probs always will. could be work things (the same project that may have caused them stress this week), could, as he said in his own words back in january, be “life things.” could be both. but regardless, the plans are always danandphil things, both of them together, and i’m not sure how there is still a strain of people that insists on arguing that a moving apart or separation is on the horizon for this year. all of that is summed up in this one amazing exchange for me, when someone in the chat asks, “are you excited for australia again?” and he answers, “yeah, we are.”

i also really dug the insight about how he likes to structure his work in such a way that he’s working for three weeks straight with no days off and then takes a whole week to lose himself in a game. it’s very dan to be so all or nothing about the way that he works and to become consumed so completely by whatever’s at hand (whether it’s work or leisure) and although i might’ve suspected that that’s how he operates i don’t think we’ve ever heard him lay it out that clearly


that he opened this live stream with such an earnest celebration of phil (thanking him, literally, for existing and making videos even though it was technically a misspeak) was so lovely and not what i expected but it set a nice tone for the start of this stream. the bants-y way in which he acknowledge the subscriber gap was also a tiny bit noteworthy to me, especially in light of that ask i answered recently about how they must approach the subscriber gap. i argued it def isn’t something they are sensitive about and probs isn’t something they joke about either, but dan sort of showed that he might approach it w humor if the situation calls for it rather than ignore it altogether. interesting. he’s clearly so proud of phil and was a little flustered in talking about how exciting the milestone was. and then, relatedly, so so animated and excited about “promo-ing (awkward pause and sidelong glance) his pal” and the gym video. i fucking loved hearing his version of the story and how surprisingly soft and tender he sounded when he was describing phil on the phone asking for an exercise plan (like, his tone was verging on adoring there) and then the way he looked when he got back. the way that dan says “what happened?” when he’s recounting how he talked to phil after he got home literally set my heart aflutter bc it was sooooooooo concerned-sounding even in a re-enactment, even in front of thousands of people, so i can’t even imagine how worried he must have genuinely been in that moment. the thing w videos is that they allow these real-life stories that happen to dnp to take on a sort of surreal almost fictional feel bc of the storytelling dnp employ—videos have like a real narrative arc and they’re packaged to be entertaining so in some ways it’s easy to forget that this is actually a true thing that happened. phil lester went to the gym and threw up twice from over-exertion and came home in half the time he was supposed to be gone and dan, the worried partner, was there to receive him when he did. and then, of course, to get super angry on his behalf and tell us about it later. i was literally rejoicing to hear dan be so honest about his emotional reaction to this happening to phil bc it might be something he would have usually phrased another way (‘can u believe phil asked for this one thing and got this other thing instead what is wrong with people this is why we don’t go outside’) instead of literally just stating his emotion so bluntly (‘i was actually like really mad … like honestly i was so angry when he told me.’) that difference in communicating how he feels is so hugely important to me and it’s what gave the story so much dimension,, i could literally picture dan and his instinct towards protectiveness that we’ve seen time and time and time again when it comes to phil, just full of irritation, disbelief, and actual anger in that moment and he had no problem with telling us that was what happened. i nearly thought that when he said he couldn’t go to that gym bc he didn’t want to see kyle/leon, that he was saying any real-life encounter with him would end in dan giving kyle/leon an angry speech about his lack of professionalism and total ineptitude at his job. i totally believe that it would.

the other part of dan’s reaction that i feel is worth noting is the way that he immediately said to phil that he needs to learn to be more assertive in a knowing tone as though it’s something they discuss often and, to be honest, it IS something that has come up before over and over in the way that dan portrays phil. that he’s too “polite” to call people out if they’re abusing him online, that he believes in things like etiquette and courtesy, that his personality is adorable and, in not so many words, soft. we even have seen him describe it in certain specific real life scenarios. an example that comes to mind is when they were doing the joint live show in november last year and dan wanted to talk about the sound guy who fucked up his mic at dapgoose LA, subsequently causing him to loose his voice for the boncas. dan clearly wanted to go off about how incapable the sound guy had been but asks phil for permission basically, and phil tempers dan’s response a lot and recounts the situation diplomatically. a random example that also comes to mind from ages ago is in dan’s what not to do at the cinema video from 2012 where he talks about a scenario when he and phil go out to see a movie and he, dan, is assertive enough to both 1. ask for people to completely get up and move if they’re sitting in his and phil’s seats, and, 2. shush them if they’re being too loud. he even acts out phil saying “oh my god you did not just do that, i don’t know you,” and trying to hide. i feel like this is a difference between them that’s sometimes under-discussed  or noticed because the main focus is always on their anxieties and insecurities and general distaste for human interaction. people also focus on phil making small talk with people in social settings and take that to mean that he is more confident and calm. but i earnestly believe that he is more reserved than dan in many ways and that includes in facing negative or stressful situations and dan, despite his own set of anxieties, has always been much more able and willing to demand and ask for what he feels he (or phil) deserves.

obvi the thing everyone wants to talk about (and i’m right there with y’all) is dan’s truly surprising decision to entertain a question about love and then give a definition of it. after a bit of waffling and dithering about whether it is or isn’t a social construct he seems to insist that it is a real feeling and defines it as “the fear of that person not being there mixed with sexual attraction.” super interesting to me because he seems to totally approach this question from his own perspective and experience which is why in the moment he seems to suggest that you need to experience sexual attraction in order to love people (and where does that leave people on the ace spectrum?) and, moreover, that love is definitely a feeling people feel (and where does that leave aromantic people?) he definitely interprets the question to be about romantic love rather than talking about something perhaps “safer” for his usual topics such as platonic love or familial love and it’s for that reason that i definitely think he was trying to say that this is what love means to him and in his own experience because i don’t think he would be so cavalier about conflating romantic and sexual attraction and implying that asexuality and romantic attraction cannot coexist in one person if he had had time to think about this answer rather than spontaneously deciding to answer it on the spot.

but that he’s speaking from his own experience obviously makes his answer profoundly interesting because he settles on, coincidentally or perhaps not, one of the only ways of expressing affection for phil by proxy that he’s ever been okay with sharing with us, which is that he needs phil around bc he can’t bear to be alone. this combined with the protectiveness/defensiveness he exhibits for phil pretty consistently, as well as the occasional recognition of phil’s creativity, are pretty much the full spectrum of ways in which dan ever talks about what he feels for phil in a public setting. it was so strangely emotional for me to hear him confirm that his fear of being alone and being without this hypothetical “love” is so fundamental to the experience of love for him that it becomes a big part of the way he defines it. i mean people make fun of dan’s neediness all the time in so many ways but he straight out confirms here that the feeling of needing your partner near you at all times and staving off the genuinely frightening prospect of the anxiety of being alone are so central to what he takes the experience of love to mean. and that’s true for both of them i feel because as “needy” as dan is, phil is just as attached, chooses to spend all of these moments with dan, chooses to call dan up on stage when he wins solo awards, chooses to travel and socialize and create and live with dan next to him always. the concerning degrees of codependency they exhibit are such common topics of conversation amongst us as outside observers that it’s very nearly startling to hear dan basically say that, yes, this dependency on this other person, this feeling of paralysis when they’re not there, that’s what love is to him, fundamentally. it’s the awareness that your life would be empty without them around. that is … concerning honestly, and as always i have some burning questions about how they make such an unhealthy level of codependency work but like. they do. they so clearly do. they have for so long and they show signs every day of only growing stronger and happier in their partnership, if that’s even possible.

then there’s the sexual attraction bit which like, sure. obvi.

i also thought it was immensely noteworthy that when he read out “some people never find love” from one of the chat comments he didn’t even try a little bit to make it relatable and crack some joke about being forever alone or even just a cheeky little “same.” like just, generally speaking, he approached this whole topic very much with the tone of 1. someone who has definitely experienced the emotion of love, 2. someone who is then trying to articulate the emotion of love as he experiences it, and 3. someone who still feels that emotion and is in proximity to that person to whom it is directed. there were no attempts at trying to say he can’t relate or that he doesn’t know (or to apply it to FOOD which he has said on countless occasions is the number one love of his life,) and if anything he got quite flustered and even red around his ears and cheeks by the end of the whole ramble. flustered but not actually uncomfortable, at least in my assessment. it was really so, so lovely and incredibly insightful. not a topic i ever ever thought i’d hear him venture into and certainly not in a live stream and certainly not in that much depth. to me the whole topic played out almost as though he couldn’t let some overly analytical smartass in the chat reduce this emotion that clearly means so much to him into a mere social construct or even a release of hormones (oxytocin). he needed to push back and play devil’s advocate, but instead of doing that in a contemplative philosophical way he somewhat accidentally got super personal with it and this ramble and completely rare look into dan’s experience w this particularly touchy emotion is what we got. it reminds me a lot of the vyou he answered back in 2012 about whether he believes in love, in which he is quite literally upset and completely rude to the person who asked it, saying “no offense to you but what kind of a stupid question is that?” as though he has never even entertained the possibility that people could not believe that love is a true feeling and emotion. it’s incredible to see that 6 years later dan has evolved in so many ways and is calmer and more thoughtful about so many things, but on this subject little has changed: love is so important to him and there’s no way for him to talk about it without immediately demonstrating that :( :( :(

“hydrate, meditate, contemplate, get a mate.” such a fitting closing line because is there any set of four directives that better encompass who dan is lol? overall such a good live show with so many moments of vulnerability and emotional openness. however dan really is in this moment i hope things only get better and better for him and that he can get over whatever hurdles have been holding him back from dinof and that he can edit/post this video and then let himself take that week off that he mentioned wanting, in order to play games and chill or at least get to a calmer place. love him lots :(((

(live show: meditation and hydration with your new life coach - 2017.03.14)

anonymous asked:

someone is getting married. that someone is dragged to a strip club for their bachelor party by the rest of the RFA+V+Saeran. just how much of a hot mess would this nightmare be?

A/N: Can y’all imagine though, can y’all imAGINE I WANNA SEE THEM IN A STRIP CLUB LMAO~Admin 404

Not even gonna lie i’m the person who says “nooo it’s embarrassing” but take me there and i’d be stuffing dollar bills down thongs like no tomorrow ~ Admin 626


-is he even alLOWED IN HERE



-He’s a blushing mess the whole time, he can’t even look anywhere

-Seriously, he covers his eyes every time someone walks by because??? They’re half naKED


-Text: “MC, they dragged me here I swear I’m not looking at anYONE I’M NOT LOOKING, I’M NOT TOUCHING, NOTHING” Response: “yoosung wtf”

-Saeyoung tried to get him a private dance and he literally screeched and ran away


-Overall he did not like it. He was so nervous, and could not enjoy himself. Blew up MC’s phone telling them how much he loves them, stood outside or hid in the bathroom a lot of the time as well


-He literally has no interest

-He had no sexual interest in people before anyways

-Well at least not any interest large enough to act upon

-He loves you for who you are, not your body

-That being said, he kind of just sat there all night with an uninterested stare

-He felt a little awkward every time he saw a fellow business man (especially ones he knew or has done business with)

- “a lot of these men are married why are they throwing money at these half naked people”

-Zen kept telling him that he was killing the vibe at his own bachelor party and he just shrugged

-He was so bored the entire time, he absolutely hated it

-Silently judged everyone in the room just to pass the time, also tried to secretly text you until the others noticed and took his phone


-He didn’t care about the strippers

-He danced along to almost every song that came on



-Wasn’t about having the strippers dance up on him though

- pls i am a child of god do not do this

- i am devout to my MC, they are the love of my life get away from me with your sIN

-When his song came on you can bet your sweet ass he jumped up on the stage

-Seriously he was workin’ it. Strippin’ it. Putting his thing down, flipping and reversing it.

-Saeran had to drag him off of the stage before he could do anything else, but Zen had already recorded it and sent it to MC, who in turn, laughed their asses off and refused to let it go for years


-He does not like other people

-Let alone strange, mostly naked people


-Absolutely hates it there and wants nothing more than to go home

-He misses his precious MC ;A;

-It took A LOT to get him where he is in the relationship he has with you

-He wouldn’t do anything to mess it up

-Not to mention, he has literally NO interest in anyone else but you??

-Saeyoung tried to get him to get a personal dance but that idea was shot down fairly quickly when he was almost punched in the face

-He actually spent most of the time just sitting there. Most people wouldn’t come near him because Death Glare™. Did not enjoy himself, not at all




- like yeah they got nice bodies??? But u know who has a nicer body???



- ofc he doesn’t dance up on anyone, he’s a saint, he loves MC




- B L U S H I N G



- she just DOWNS drinks to get through the night, she wants to be supportive

- she drunk texts u a lot

- “hey,,, hey MC,,, are u a whistle cause i want to blow u,,,”

- “There will be only seven planets remaining after i destroy ur anus,,,”

- “if u were a potato,,, I’d mash the hell out of you,,,”

- MC screenshots everything and sends it to the group chat

- Jaehee looks at some of the strippers for candidates for a possible threesome ;;))))


- this sweet, innocent boy doesn’t know what to do

- he wants to support his friends but???

- he’s not really someone who gets drunk and he’s definitely not for watching strippers

- so what does he do???

- he imagines ur the one stripping instead

- like he’s seriously just staring at a wall pretending ur there

- at some point though, saeyoung manages to drag V up on stage??




- he just follows along with saeyoung???

- everyone seems to be loving it so he must be doing something right???

- he ends up loving it

- considers stripping as a career

- then he decided that you’re the only person he strips for me ;;))

17.04.22 Zoom In!! Saturday - ARASHI Interview [English highlights]

MC: Do members drink together?
S: We drink in room. Hotel room during our concert tour. We frequently at Leader Ohno Satoshi’s room.
MC: Why Ohno-san’s room?
N: Because he doesn’t come to ours. We have no other option but to go to his room.

About things ARASHI can’t stop doing

S: My nature is to pack my schedule. From the moment I am back home, until I calm down, the flow is determined. For instance, I wash my hands, and then I heat water for bath, I push the pit. It takes 20 to 30 minutes to heat the water. In the meantime I do the laundry, it takes around 20 minutes, the bath water is about to be ready. During the time drying the clothes, I don’t know, for instance I’ll go out and buy something and come back, I want to construct an order of flow. I hate time being wasted.
N: Then, at home, in case it couldn’t be done, what would you do? You sit on sofa and was 10 minutes late…
M: Will you get up in the middle of bath? (All laugh)
N: For that reason? (Laugh)
MC: Are you tired about this?
S: Su~per tired.

A: Pretty much every day, when I finish my work and go back home, I drink beer.
M: You want to stop this?
A: Do I want to stop this…
S: You can’t stop this, right?
A: I can’t stop this. Then, for me, when I open the beer (Nino looked at Masaki-san with a mysterious smile), I go for bath. Generally speaking, I can’t stop drinking here.
S: Beer.
A: Right. Then I don’t know the timing to go to bath. After that, at that time, I always think about what ate [snack/dish served with alcoholic drink] to have. There are days I go back home with bento, there are also days that I make dishes myself.
MC: What dish do you make?
A: I cut yam and fry them.
N: During the time you want to go to bath?
A: Right.
N: You don’t intend to go, do you? (All laugh)

M: I become aware of the difference between good at tidying up and bad at tidying up recently, I am really bad at tidying up things. I don’t throw away things. When I go to buy clothes, the shops give bags for the clothes right? That, when someone comes, and I want to give them things, it’ll be good to have bags for the things, right? For this reason, there are about three corrugated cardboard boxes of bags in my home.

N: Well, my muscle strength (Sho-san gave a mysterious look trying to hold laughter) fell.
MC: Now how old are you?
N: Now I’m 33 years old. Recently I went to health checkup, and the index just came out. There was index for muscle. The average is 50 to 150. Beyond that will be good, while mine is 32.
S: Eh~! It’s miracle that you can still stand! In the concert last year, he danced a great lot.
N: I thought “Ah, I danced!” so I had quite some confidence on myself.
A: This year.
N: Right, this year I thought my index would be good. Two years ago my index was 41.
S: That was also below 50. (All laugh)

O: When I brush the inner teeth, I want to throw up.
S: Don’t say that. (Giggle)
MC: Which teeth?
O: The teeth on the bottom, the inner ones.
S: Is it so since the past?
O: Since about 10 years ago.
S: A long experience.
O: (To members) What about you?
(All laugh)
S: No no, even you come with a tone “You all do too, right?”.
N: Why are you only so proactive in this question?

O: So I thought that it’s special. It suddenly happened 10 years ago.
MC: Did anything happen that time?
O: No, I don’t know. I passed 25 years old then, so I bit thought that I was getting old (four members smiled). When I did this…
S: Isn’t it enough? Topic of throwing up. (Giggle)

* Just highlights, not verbatim.

*three voicemails*
“you suck, you know that?” she sounds drunk. “i never needed you as much as when you left that day in December and you knew that! you knew i would need you more than ever those next few days and you still acted like a child and stormed out. and i want to hate you; boy do i want to hate you…” there was a long pause. “there’s this guy here right now and he’s looking at me like maybe i am the best thing for him, but how can i tell him that my heart is gone, that it belongs to you? his friend says he wants to buy me a drink but i don’t think he understands that no matter how many shots i take, i’m still going to end up empty inside, forgetting my name but still remembering yours. god i love you so much, why can’t you see that? *end of message 1*
“hey so i’m not sure what i said last night, but i know it was something dumb so please just delete it. i just want to say i’m sorry. we both knew that one day, it would come to an end,” she sighs. “but i think we wanted to hold on to it for as long as we could, you know? i guess we just didn’t think about the repercussions, or maybe we did and decided the pain was worth it. and it was, to me, it was. we were just both so stubborn, so hard-headed, not willing to let go of our pride. i just need you to know i don’t regret it; i don’t regret loving you. it’s just…” she paused. “we were sparks that lit a match and the fire was beautiful, but we didn’t nurture it, we didn’t feed it with good intentions; we simply let it burn then fade out. i wish we hadn’t. i’ll always love you, please remember that.” *end of message 2*
“hi. it seems like it’s been forever since i called you, since i saw your face. i hope this is still your number. i’m sorry i went away, i just couldn’t stay there any longer. i couldn’t stay in that home where every wall reminded me of you and i, of us. i couldn’t stay in that city where every street and every corner reminded me of you. i had to get out of there; i had to get out before i went insane. it’s beautiful here; it rains in spring, snows in the winter, leaves fall in autumn and it’s crazy hot in the summer. i’ve wanted to call you so many times, like when it snowed the first winter i was here or when the ball dropped on new years. i wanted to call you on your birthday, i know i should have, but what would i say after all this time? and on his anniversary, i just wanted to hear a familiar voice. i had your number dialed, i just didn’t have the courage to get sent to voicemail. i hope you get this, i promise i won’t call anymore. i just need you to know i’m doing okay. i still miss you, like crazy on some days, but i have a good job here and i made some friends. i got this really nice apartment with a gym nearby. there’s been no one and i’m not saying that for sympathy or for it to lead to anything, but i’m content with the memories of us. i hope you’re happy, that’s still my 11:11 wish. i’ll always love you, no matter how far apart we are, physically and otherwise. i love you to the moon and back times infinite.” *end of final message*
A reminder for unowned pets*

As a Beta wolf, I am used to looking after pack members and helping those who have questions/are new to the pet play world. This is a post for those pets who do not have an owner, and don’t have someone to remind them of these daily things. You can look to me as a faux owner, if you’d like, and I am always willing to help if you need further guidance, so please don’t hesitate to message me.

  • Drink water when thirsty, don’t ignore it
  • Eat something substantial at least twice a day
  • Take your medication as directed
  • Brush your teeth 2x a day (morning/night) and floss 1x a day (night)
  • Wash your face 2x a day
  • Take a shower, if you need (shower at least every other day)
  • Get your homework/classwork/assignment done in a timely manner
  • Take notes and study hard, even when you’re not in class
  • Keep your room tidy and free of clutter
  • Vacuum once or twice a week
  • Do your laundry as the basket gets full
  • Wash dishes/load the dishwasher nightly
  • Get out of the house for a change of scenery
  • Go grocery shopping to keep yourself stocked on the essentials
  • Do not skip your doctor’s appointments or scheduled school meetings
  • Get enough sleep (between 7-9 hours per night)
  • Give yourself time to relax and just chill out

[ * Owned pets may also refer to this list as this is just a reminder of things that should be taken care of on daily/almost daily basis. Owned pets were not formally addressed in the title because a pet’s owner should be guiding them in these areas on a daily basis and reminding them of such things. ]

The First Time In Forever

A/N despite the title, this has NOTHING to do with Frozen. Lol.

Spencer x Reader

“I’m sorry, but you’ve never had an orgasm?”

Your best friend Spencer Reid was staring at you with an incredulous look on his face, turning away from the Game of Thrones episode you were watching.

One and half bottles of wine and a GoT-athon, and the conversation had turned… wrong. Just plain wrong.

You can’t even remember what exactly had happened on the screen to make you comment that you’d never had an orgasm, but as soon as the words left your mouth, you regretted them.

You were open with your best friend, but not that open. Although… rather than blushing like you’d have expected him to, he just seemed shocked and appalled.

“Nope,” you replied, seeing his eyes bug out.

“Are you sure? Y/N, you’re 27.”

“I’m well aware of how old I am, Spencer. And yes. I’m sure. At least… I think I am.”

He quickly topped his wine glass up, this revelation was obviously making him turn to drink. Well, more to the booze that he already had.

“You think? Explain…. Because you’ve come to into work before raving about guys you’ve banged.”

“So you DO listen to those conversations…” You were surprised, he normally just rolled his eyes and buried his head in a file.

“I listen because you and Penelope talk very loudly, although sometimes it’s at a pitch that I’m sure only dogs can hear…. Ouch! Don’t hit me! Anyway… Stop going off track.” He rubbed his arm where you’d hit it.

“Why are you obsessed with this bit on information anyway? Does it matter that I’ve never had an earth shattering moment. I still enjoy fucking.”

“But what’s the point if there’s no orgasms? And what do you do when you can’t sleep at night?”

“Spencer Reid!! Well, next time your eyes are darker than normal, I’ll know what you’ve been doing all night. And there’s plenty of point.. Sex is fun. And it still feels good. Its just….I dunno. No man has ever managed to make me tremble. At least, that’s what I’m led to believe happens.”

“And… Erm.. You’ve never managed to make it happen either yourself?” The tiniest amount of pink appeared on his cheeks.

“I’m getting you drunk more often, Spence. The team would never EVER imagine you having this conversation. And no. I’ve tried.”

“You must be doing it wrong. I’ll send you some links later on how to masturbate properly.”

You shifted on the couch, your jaw dropping. “You will not! And anyway…. You don’t even have a vagina. What makes you so sure that I’m doing it wrong?”

“Because if you were doing it right, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“And you think you know how to do it right?” You knocked back the last of your drink.

“Yep… Never had any complaints when I’ve been getting a girl off. And I used to talk Austin through doing it all the time when we couldn’t see each other.”

You spluttered your drink out, wiping your mouth with your hand.

“Austin… That bartender you used to see? You’re saying you used to have phone sex with her?”


“I am learning so many new things here tonight Spencer.” You shook your head at your friend and colleague, feeling buzzed.

“If you let me send you the links, you’ll learn something else too.”


“What.. Orgasms are one of the best things about life. Everyone deserves to have them, especially you. It’s a travesty that you’re not sure if you’ve had one or not. You’re missing out.”

You couldn’t not laugh at this conversation. You knew Spencer wasn’t as sweet and innocent as everyone made him out to be, he couldn’t be, he was a grown man. A very attractive grown man. But still….

“Spencer, this sounds like the plot of a really really bad porno. Any second now and you’ll be offering to give me one,” you sniggered.

“I will if you want. I could either talk you through getting yourself off, or just do it for you.”

“Reid, I was joking.”

“I’m not. Offer stands. Like I say, everyone deserves orgasms.”

You became very quiet all of a sudden and you realised you were actually considering his offer. You did sometimes feel like you missing out, and maybe you were doing something wrong… You still enjoyed sex and stuff but it would be nice if you got to finish too. You’d just never had that knee trembling, deity worshiping moment.

You completely blamed the wine for this.


Half an hour later, after the rest of the wine, much deliberation on your part, and much assurance on Spencer’s part that no this didn’t mean anything, no this wasn’t his way of trying to get you into bed although it would be easier to do this in the bed, and no he wouldn’t have to see anything, and you were lying in bed.

You were under the covers with your pants off but your underwear on and Spencer was lying on top of the covers, propped up in his side. The lights were out and the only light came from a thin sliver of moonlight where your drapes weren’t quite meeting.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t look at me whilst we do this,” you whispered.

“Fair enough.” Spencer rolled onto his back, looking up at ceiling.


“Alright so erm…. Try thinking about something that does turn you on. Maybe a sexy scene from a movie or something,” Spencer’s voice had dropped and had become a soft, low cadence that was soothing but instructive.

You closed your eyes and tried to picture your favourite sexy scene.

This just felt wrong.

“Start running your hands over your body first, slowly feeling your skin. Pay attention to your breasts, maybe pinch a nipple or something.”

You did as he asked, feeling extremely self conscious about what you were doing. You let your hands move up and down your body a few times, squeezing your breasts and teasing a nipple through your vest. You’d removed your bra when you’d got in but had refused to get naked. You so couldn’t do this….it felt.. Silly.

“Reid, I can’t do this.”

“You can if you want to,” he told you.

“It feels silly doing it to myself with you here. Like I’m listening to an instructional video or something.”

He rolled to his side again. “You could just let me do this for you this once. And then when you know what you’re missing out on, maybe you’ll feel more inclined to figure it out for yourself.”

“But…. It’s weird…”

“Only if we make it weird. It’s up to you Y/N.”

“Erm….Oh God. Okay… Do it,” you felt yourself blushing horrendously as Spencer pulled the covers back and slid under, lying closer to you and rolling onto his side so that he was facing you. He tugged the cover down slightly to your waist and then placed his hand on your tummy.

Lazily he began drawing patterns with his finger tips, them skimming over the fabric of your vest top.

“Relax, Y/N. Relax,” He said in that same low voice and you let out a breath, keeping your eyes closed.

Spencer’s hand stayed in the safety zone for a while, gently stroking your stomach, your arms, your shoulders. It was relaxing, and you felt yourself beginning to feel more at ease with this. It was just Reid. He wasn’t bothered by this, why should you be?

He let his hands move lower under the covers, tickling the tops of your thighs lightly, grazing over the soft material of your underwear as he moved his hand back up, sliding it over your stomach and onto your breast.

“Many men actually neglect the breasts, they assume that woman don’t actually find having their breasts fondled all that sexy. In actual fact, the majority of woman have said that they wish their partner would spend more time on them, some woman even claim to have climaxed solely from having their nipples stimulated.”

As he said that last part he spread his fingers and then closed them slowly, catching your nipple between them. Moving his hand gently back and forth, he rubbed against the sensitive flesh. Your breathing hitched as he used his fingers to swipe over the now hardened nub, teasing it gently.

“Am I allowed to…..?” he moved his hand to the strap of your vest and you nodded, still keeping your eyes shut as he pulled down your top, exposing your breasts to him. You thought you detected a change in his own breathing but you couldn’t be sure. Feeling him moving on the bed, he heard his voice again.

“Can I….can I use my mouth?”

Oh fuck….

“Not down there you can’t!” you blurted out, a chuckle escaping his lips.

“Okay. But I can use it here?” he rolled a nipple between his thumb and forefinger, the sensation causing you to bite your lip. You nodded.

Spencer lowered his mouth to the breast closest to him and moved his hand over to the other one. He began peppering light kisses over the swell of your chest as his fingers circled and teased the puckered flesh of your other breast. You weren’t going to lie, the sensation was wonderful and you started to forget the awkwardness of the situation and to actually enjoy it. His lips slipped over your nipple, pursing around it and sucking it into his mouth, his tongue flicking against it as he pulled it’s twin at the same time. You moaned, not beings able to stop the sound.

You could feel his lips change shape, he was smiling at the sound. Carrying on he repeated his actions, grazing his teeth over the skin and sending jolts of pleasure down into your groin. Giving one long hard suck, he released it from his mouth and dragged his hand down your torso and over your panties.

“I need you to spread your legs slightly. You’re clenching them shut,” Spencer whispered and you realised you were. You moved them, allowing him access.

He placed his palm flat on your groin and began rubbing his hand back and forth, applying a small amount of pressure, but not particularly paying attention to any one area.

“Another mistake guys make is going straight for either the clitoris or the vagina, forgetting the whole area is sensitive, even more so once someone is aroused. The clitoris is the most sensitive part though, it has over eight thousand sensory nerve endings all in a tiny area. Some woman can come in a matter of seconds from having their clit stimulated, others take longer, even up to hour. So you have to be patient. But most people aren’t that patient, which is where you could be missing out.”

He ran his hand up and down your covered centre and you winced slightly, realising that your panties must be feeling damp.

“Can I take these off? We can leave them on if you’re uncomfortable…. ”

You raised your hips in response, helping him quickly pull them off and then settle his hand back between your thighs. He’d already seen your breasts, to hell with it.

“Are you sure I can’t use my mouth down there?” he asked again, his long fingers dragging up and down.

“I’m sure… Cos it’s not like I’ll be able to do that to myself right?”


You allowed your legs to move slightly further apart as his hand explored.

“So if you’re doing this yourself, you need to remember to that keeping lubricated is important. Chaffing can be a problem, for guys and girls. Don’t start stimulating your clit when it’s dry, in my experience, the sensation is better when it’s wet. You can use lube, or you can lick your fingers first. Or you can use your own arousal, like this.”

To demonstrate, he pushed the tips of two of his fingers into your opening and you gasped. Retracting them he slid them forward, using the slick from his fingers as lube.

“You’re so wet, Y/N.”

“Spencer! Don’t say shit like that to me….. ”

But oh god, how delicious it had sounded coming from his mouth.

“Why… It’s the truth. It’s good, it means what we’re doing is working.”

“What you’re doing you…..oh…. Ah…”

Your words trailed off as he pressed his fingers to your clit and began massaging it, moving his fingers in a circular motion at first, he’d then switched to a more pressured side to side movement, changing between the two.

“There’s so many nerves ending here, Y/N. You can’t really go wrong with how you stimulate them. Some people use their whole hand to massage it like I’m doing now. Others just use one or two fingers like this.”

He changed his positioning, applying just two fingers directly to your clit and rubbing faster. The pressure was more localised than with his whole hand and felt more intense. He carried on for a few minutes, heavy breaths exhaling from your body. You bent one of your legs at the knee and placed your foot flat to the bed, your legs suddenly feeling restless.

“Other woman like having their clit tapped or smacked.” He demonstrated again, making a tapping motion on you. It felt okay, but not fantastic and you shook your head.

“Not a fan? Some girls aren’t. Okay and then we have that magic elusive spot that some people can never seem to find. The g spot.”

He slid his fingers through your folds, your lips separating as he slid two fingers inside you, your hips bucking off the bed as he did.

“Most women need clitoral stimulation to come, which is why most don’t orgasm during penetration itself unless they or their partner is playing with the clit too. That’s a mistake that men make, not working the clit as well or even being offended when the woman starts to touch it herself. They’re missing out though. There’s nothing better than being inside a woman whilst she orgasms, trust me.”

He started moving his fingers slowly inside, curling them.

“The most sensitive part of your vagina is the first two thirds, or there is a spot right at the top called the A spot, but that’d hard to reach by yourself. Your g spot is located about two to three centimetres along the front wall and feels pebbly and rough. You can’t feel it unless you’re aroused. So you should be able to feel this… ”

Spencer pressed his fingers to it and you felt the familiar sensation that you felt during sex. Rather than thrusting his hand in and out, he simply manoeuvred his fingers against it making you start to pant.

“Y/N, use your hand on yourself.”

You followed his instructions and slid your hand between your legs, using two fingers rather than the whole hand. You tried to mirror his actions from before, feeling light headed as he worked his fingers inside you.

“You can use your other hand to pull back the clitoral hood if you like, but some woman find it too sensitive.”

“This… This is fine… Ugh… Oh.”

This WAS fine… More than fine in fact. It was….Oh god there were no words to describe it.

“Apply a bit more pressure, Y/N. ”

“Help me…” you gasped out as he slid his hands from inside you and placed his fingers over yours.

Interlocking his hand with yours he pressed down, guiding you in your movements.

“Your skin is flushed and I can hear your heart racing.” He lowered his head back to your chest and sucked your nipple back into his mouth as your hands moved together between your legs.

Your leg started to twitch and you tried to slow your movements, feeling slightly funny.

“Nope… Carry on. Let go, Y/N. You’re nearly there. ”

Spencer continued working his fingers against yours, his lips sucking against your chest.

Your gasps grew louder and your legs trembled, your hips involuntarily bucking from the mattress. You could feel a pounding in your head, hear the blood rushing through your veins. Every nerve ending in your body seemed to be on fire and you felt like you’d never felt before.

“Oh god…. Oh fuck… Oh fuck, Spencer.” Was this coming? Oh jeez, it had to be….. You could feel yourself contracting inside, your whole body quivering. You were dizzy but in the best possible way, and you continued to expel expletives from your mouth as the feeling racked through you, subsiding after around twenty seconds or so, although it felt like longer.

Spencer removed his mouth from your chest and his hand from yours, and you felt him wipe it on the sheets. You did the same with yours, and then slowly opened your eyes to see Spencer looking very pleased with himself.

You couldn’t speak, not yet. You just lay there, trying to regulate your breathing for a few minutes. When you finally could think straight, you realised your boobs were still on display and you hurriedly pulled your top back up.

“Shame…. I was enjoying looking at those,“ came the comment from your companion.

You glanced over at him, a smirk on his face.

“So?” he asked.

“I both love you and hate you for that.”

“Why both?”

“Because you were right. That was the best feeling ever. And I definitely hadn’t had one. But if I can’t replicate that myself when I’m alone…..”

“You will. Now you know what you’re doing.” he told you.

“But if I can’t?” You felt shy again.

“Then…..I can always help you. Or do it for you. I don’t mind. And it’s not like I’m not getting anything out of it. Giving an attractive girl orgasms makes me feel good too.”

“You think I’m attractive?”

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N. I’m not blind.”



“What about….what about actually making you feel good. Like… Well. Finishing you off too.”

“Well,I’m not gonna lie, that was extremely frustrating for me. But I enjoyed it. And I’ll just cold shower when I get home or something.”

Or something. You giggled, knowing what the ‘or something’ might be.

You shifted your position on the bed, moving closer to him and placing your hand on his groin, seeing the surprised look on his face.

“Hey, no. I didn’t do this to get something in return.”

“I know you didn’t. But I want to. I may not have been able to get myself off, but experience tells me that I’m quite good at getting other people off. And we’ve already crossed the friendship line of no return. Why not cross it even further. If you want to….”

Feeling a twitch underneath your hand, you waited until he nodded and moved to the buttons of his jeans.

“Spence… ” you stopped. “Thanks, by the way.”

“You’re welcome.”

Grinning, you started unbuttoning his jeans, feeling happier now you knew you could pay him back.

My top 10 tips for neurodiverse students!

1: Set yourself alarms and reminders for yourself on your phone. e.g at 8am it’ll go off and say ‘you need to read X journal today’ or ‘essay due next tuesday’

2. Make a checklist of everything you need in order to study, e.g textbooks, pens etc. When you leave your house for uni, make sure you’ve ticked everything on your list so you haven’t forgotten anything.

3. Find somewhere quiet to work, if your house/flat is too noisy, head to the library or other study areas. Many universities and colleges have accessable rooms to students with learning differences and disabilities, make use of them!

4. Apply for DSA! It is such a huge help. - DSA is disabled students allowance. (UK ONLY) It is a government funded benefit that enables us access to things such as mental health support, free laptop with learning assisting software, printing credits, book credits etc.

5. Listen to music. I find listening to classical music helps me study, and keeps me relaxed while i am reading/writing. It also helps me to block out distractions.

6. Take breaks! If you are getting stressed because you are losing your focus or there’s too much sensory stimuli around you, take a break and come back to it later.

7. Nourish your body. Remember to eat and drink!

8. E-mail your lecturers if you are stuck, trust me they like it when you ask them for help, don’t sit in silence. I am well respected in my college at Uni because I struggle, yet go to the lecturer when I need help, and they are always happy to point me in the right direction.

9. Forgive yourself, we all make mistakes.

10. Schedule ahead, sometimes tasks take us longer than someone neurotypical, allow yourself extra time to do things e.g reading, or getting to an appointment/meeting.

I hope this helps!


BAD GIRL: Chapter 2

SUMMARY: It’s crazy how much your life changes. Part 2 of Bad Girl series.

WARNINGS: Strong language, sexual harassement-ish(?)

TAGS: @fearthedietcoke @fangirlf @nightowlss @stcrtrek  @selenakaulitz @crocodilerocker @queenirisxx @melizzzabeth @time2pound @alexa040004 @angelicaxhouston @trustwillbeourtomb @iamthemaskhewears @live-and-let-bi @tonystarkfanfiction @jamesbarnesblog @bigbadwolfhale @babyloutattoo89 @jaegers-and-kaijus

NOTE: You guys have no idea how difficult it was for me to make a plot for this fanfic. Didn’t want to disappoint you lot since there’s so many wanting a sugar daddy Tony Stark fic. Hopefully, I didn’t disappoint. Enjoy ❤


Part 1

Tony insisted you quit your job at club St4rk but you loved it there. You made loyal and great friends there and you loved what you did. The costumes, the makeup, the atmosphere were some things you never wanted to let go. 

But in the end you had too. 

Keep reading

Ivar Imagine- The Real Winner

@pagan-raider gave me a prompt about getting into a drinking contest with the Ragnarssons. I used it as a little follow up to my axe throwing prompt because of course it had to be about Ivar in the end. If you haven’t read Raising the Stakes, you can find it on my Ao3. Please enjoy this silly little piece!


It is just another night in Kattegat, food and ale being passed around the table as you supped with the Ragnarssons. You ate with them most nights, having known the lads since you were just children. Your sister and Ubbe’s new wife Margrethe round out the ensemble, the group of you talking and laughing as you dine.

As usual, a rivalry springs up between Ivar and one of his brothers. Tonight, it is who can drink the most ale. You roll your eyes as Ivar suggests a drinking contest to settle the matter. The other sons agree eagerly.

“Why must you always try to be the best at everything?” You murmur to Ivar as Ubbe calls a slave to bring more alcohol. He gives you a glare, one hand coming to rest on your thigh under the table.

“You should have no complaints about me wanting to be the best,” he says, hand squeezing your flesh hard. You cannot help but shudder slightly and agree with him. Ever since your axe contest you have not spent one night in your own bed. And you definitely do not have any complaints about that.

The ale arrives, and you turn your attention to your cup. You might as well participate. You are quite tolerant of ale, you probably could win. And it will be rather funny to see the high and mighty Ragnarssons get into their cups.

Everyone raises their glasses, a loud “SKAL” echoing around the table. You all drink deeply, and the competition has begun.

It’s not surprising when your sister bows out first. She has always been easy to get drunk. She slams down her fourth cup of ale, standing from the table as she does so.

“What, finished already, Visna?” Sigurd laughs, leaning back in his chair. The Ragnarssons seem hardly affected, the only sign being all their cheeks are beginning to flush.

Visna hiccups, swaying slightly. “I am drunk,” she declares. “And I am feeling like there are better things to do than sit here and continue to drink with you lot.”

“Like what?” Hvitserk asks, grinning up at her. Visna grins back at him.

“Like this!” She cries, and promptly plops herself down in his lap. She takes his face in her hands and plants a huge, sloppy kiss right on his mouth.

Cheers and laughter echo around the table as Hvitserk enthusiastically kisses her back. You shake your head and smile to yourself. Your sister has been sweet on Hvitserk for a while now, and it is nice to see that the feeling is mutual.

“Well, I’m out, brothers,” Hvitserk grins, grabbing Visna’s rear as they rise from his chair. Your sister squeals and runs out the door laughing, her new lover hot on her heels.

Ivar hums, reaching over to refill your glass. “Two down,” he says with a tone of victory, and you give him a look. Cocky bastard. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t love it.

The rest of you continue on. Your eyes begin to get glazed, your mind begins to get a slight haze. You are hyper aware of Ivar’s hand still on your thigh, warm through the thin material of your dress. You squirm slightly in your seat. The idea to give up like your sister and just drag Ivar away to his bed is so tempting. He looks positively delicious when he’s getting drunk, his golden skin flushed and his blue eyes wide and playful. But the idea of knocking the prince down a peg one more time is just too tasty. So you continue to drink.

Sigurd is the next to go, promptly being sick on the floor after trying to drink his cup of ale in one swig. Ubbe rolls him into a corner and leaves him to moan to himself. He barely gets him there before Margrethe gets sick as well, so her loving husband simply places her next to his brother, clearly not wanting to give up on winning on account of his wife.

You continue on, and the three of you just get more and more into your cups.

“Three of us left,” you slur after what is maybe your tenth cup, leaning over and nudging Ivar’s shoulder. “I’m going to win!”

Your lover gives you a drunken grin, and the hand on your thigh begins to inch upwards. “Is that so?” His velvety voice purrs, even more sinful when it’s bathed in alcohol. “Are you sure about that?”

You can feel heat begin to bloom under you skin. “I’m fairly sure,” you say, trying to sound confident. His hand continues upwards, and you find yourself wishing you could feel the callouses scrap against bare skin instead of your dress.

“Mmmm, perhaps you are right,” he gives you a smouldering look, leaning in to brush his lips against your ear. “I know I am this close to giving up and just having you right here on this table. The way you look right now, woman, is driving me crazy.”

You moan softly at his words, the ale in your system fuelling your rising want for him. “You started this, you would give in and lose just to have me sooner? You know I am yours after this is over.”

He growls, nipping at your earlobe. “I am not a patient man. When I want something I want it now.” The hand on your thigh is almost at its destination, and you can take it no longer.

You toss your cup away and climb into his lap, capturing his lips in a messy kiss. He responds immediately, groaning into your mouth as your hands tangle in his hair. You push yourself as close as you can get, revelling in the taste of ale on his breath and the careless way his own hands are groping your overheated body.

“So I guess this means I win,” Ubbe’s voice floats somewhere from around you. You ignore him, scratching your nails over Ivar’s scalp as you suck on his tongue. Ivar pulls one hand away from your waist and gives some sort of “go away I don’t give a shit about the contest anymore” gesture. You hear Ubbe’s booming laugh, then some shuffling and bumping as he collects his wife and brother from the corner. Finally, you here the door click closed, and you pull back from Ivar’s lips with a wet smack.

“Get in the bed,” you order, loving the glazed lust you see in his eyes. “I have to go outside for a moment.” You need to rid yourself of some of this ale before you let him have his way with you.

For once, Ivar does not balk at being ordered. He simply nods eagerly and squeezes your rear. You clamber off of him and quickly head outside to do your business, excitement buzzing under your skin the whole time.

When you are finished, you rush back inside and over to the bed. Ivar is shirtless and lying on his back, waiting for you. You climb in, reaching for him…..

And realize he is fast asleep.

“Are you kidding me, Ivar?” You whine, frustration mixing with your desire as you hear him give a loud snore. “This is just great.” You flop down beside him, trying to calm your raging hormones. Clearly you are not getting them soothed by his body tonight.

Ivar gives another snore and rolls over, trapping you beneath one heavy arm. He gives a happy, sleepy little sound and murmurs your name as he nuzzles sloppily at your neck. You cannot help but smile, your frustration melting away at the action. You decide to close your eyes and snuggle into his warmth, suddenly feeling quite tired yourself.

As you drift off, Ivar snoring lightly in your ear, you think to yourself that Ubbe may have won the drinking competition, but you feel like the real winner.

When morning comes and you wake to Ivar’s lips sucking busily on your neck as his hand creeps under your dress, you definitely know you are.

Prompts are fun, send me more!

Leading Suspects: Chapter 26

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25

I stop my car two miles out of town and climb out to pace up and down, shaking my hands at my sides and trying to pluck up my courage. I’ve had five hours of driving to think about what I’m going to say to him. All night long when I couldn’t sleep. Several hours last night of wine drinking and packing and two very drunk and unhelpful friends who suggested everything from grovelling to serenading him to Jo’s plan of just stripping naked in front of him. Why am I friends with them again?

Keep reading

Bad Things Song!Fic

Originally posted by arkhangelsks

Bad things Song!Fic

Request: Can you do a song imagine with Happy with the song Bad Things by MGK & Camila Cabello.
For @mrsirishboru
Words: 2058
Pairing: Happy Lowman x Reader

The last time I wrote Smut was for Mad Princess Part 3 and before that it was a LONG time ago so eh, good luck with not cringing at this.

Maybe it was the alcohol or the thrill of being chased by the police that made you laugh. Your hand in Happy’s, you bolted down the street away from the law. Your old man led you through the back streets, you doubled back through a side alley and dove into an abandoned garage. Happy let go of your hand so that you could prop the door that you’d knocked though back up and Happy perched in the window with his gun ready and waiting.

The law ran pass and you cheered on their leaving with a fix of giggles.
Happy put his handgun down on a nearby seat before stepping over to where you were perched on an oil drum, his voice was deep and tempting, “What’re you laughing at?”
Alcohol made your cheeks flare with heat and you giggled again, “Why did I think drinking in the middle of the day with you would be a good idea?”

Am I out of my head?
Am I out of my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don’t think that I can explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated
Don’t matter what you say
Don’t matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can’t explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated

He stepped up to you, put his rough hands on your bare knees and pushed them open. He stepped between your legs and ran his hands up your thighs to the ripped edges of your shorts, his hands where harsh from violence and working in the garage and it made your stomach flip in excitement.  He ran his thumb along the inside of your thighs and the movement so close to your intimate area, even clothed, tickled and made you shiver.
“You think this is a bad idea?” His gravelly voice danced over your lips, when you inclined your face up to try to kiss him he inched his head back, smirking in victory.
“A very bad idea.” You mumbled and tipped your head up towards him.
One large hand slowly trailed up from your thigh, up your stomach giving you butterflies, slowly his hand moved between your breasts, up the nape of your neck and splayed across your throat.

Nothing’s that bad
If it feels good
So you come back
Like I knew you would
And we’re both wild
And the night’s young
And you’re my drug
Breathe you in ‘til my face numb
Drop it down to that bass drum
I got what you dream ‘bout
Nails scratchin’ my back tatt
Eyes closed while you scream out
And you keep me in with those hips
While my teeth sink in those lips
While your body’s giving me life
And you suffocate in my kiss
Then you said

You groaned lowly and tipped your head further back so he’d have more access to your neck. You loved it when Happy was in this mood. Often your sex life was rough, positions moving fast, hands grabbing at each other whenever you had chance. Happy was a busy man and you were busy working at the TM a lot so you had to catch each other whenever you could, especially because you liked to fuck a lot.

But this was Happy, wanting to take it slow, to tease you and make you groan. The police practically ready to catch you and the alcohol fuelling you just made it even more electric.

His hand stiffened around your neck slightly, just enough for him to show you how much he was going to drive you crazy. He tipped his head down, this time he didn’t tease you, he pushed his lips against yours hard. The hand still on your thigh squeezed hard, his fingerprints tattooing your soft skin. Your hand came up to take his Cut in your fists to pull him closers to you as you kissed. It wasn’t a fight for dominance, Happy was in charge and he showed you that through his kiss, his mouth commanding.

I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body so I can take you wherever like,
I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body I can look at you whenever

You could taste the jack on his tongue and you were sure that the moan echoing in your ears must have been your own.  He pulled away from you, smirking as he looked down at your flushed face and swollen lips.
His hand on your thigh travelled up to the button on your shorts and the hand from your throat joined it. You leaned back and with a hand on either side of the oil drum pushed yourself up so that Happy could pull down both your shorts and your underwear. He threw them somewhere near his gun, you couldn’t really find the effort to care about them now.

Happy’s lips were on your neck, one hand wound into your hair to hold your head to the side so that he could lick and bite his way down your neck unstopped.
The pressure of him pulling your hair made you moan and his teeth scraping against your collar bone made your hips jut upwards to where his other hand waited on the top of your thigh.
“You good?” The words rumbled against your neck.  This was why you loved him, even drunk and high from the thrill of the chase, he had enough about him to check that you wanted to continue.
“Good.” You moaned and his hand inched up towards your womanhood, your stomach tickled in anticipation.

Am I out of my head?
Am I out of my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don’t think that I can explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated
Don’t matter what you say
Don’t matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can’t explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated

A hard kiss distracted you from any discomfort as his hand cupped your womanhood, slicking his fingers before inserting them into you. You groaned against his chapped lipped but his hand and his kiss didn’t relent. He’d already set the pace, pumping his fingers in you fast and hard, listening to your groans and adjusting his speed to drive you crazy. In the back of your mind the alcohol hummed through your consciousness that this is crazy, you could get caught any second.
You didn’t worry about protection, you’d not told the club but you and Happy where almost trying to for a family.

Whatever happens, happens.

Jesus, how was he doing that with his thumb?

You groaned and pulled away from his kiss, weakly you pushed at his arm and he pulled away from you. Before he could worry that he had done something wrong you were feverishly pulling at his belt and jeans, yanking them down to the rhythm of his deep chuckle.
Liberated of his jeans and underwear, thanks to your nimble hands, he moved to removed his cut but you caught his cut in both of your hands and pulled him over to you, “Keep it on.”
His smirk was deadly, his fingers dug into your backside when he lifted you slightly off of the drum, pulling you forwards and onto him in one swift motion.

I can’t explain it
I love the pain
And I love the way your breath
Numbs me of novacaine
And we are
Always high
Keep it strange
Okay, yeah, I’m insane
But you the same
Let me paint the picture
Couch by the kitchen
Nothin’ but your heels on
Losin’ our religion
You’re my pretty little vixen
And I’m the voice inside your head
That keeps telling you to listen to all the bad things I say
And you said

You cursed, your head falling to his chest. The leather of his cut was wound in your hands, you held onto him as he held you above the oil drum so that you wouldn’t hurt your legs as he set the savage pace.

“Haaap.” You groaned when his lips found your neck, his movements never relenting as his licked and bit at the delicate skin. You released his Cut, your hands coming down his sides and up his back under his shirt and leather so that you could sink your nails into his dark tattooed skin. He kissed a harsh curse against your ear as your nails tracked old scars and ink.
“Fuck girl.” His voice grated against your ear again and you knew that was a warning that he was getting close.

I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body so I can take you wherever like,
I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body I can look at you whenever

Day drinking and drug use will do that to a fella, not that you could say any better, your head was swimming with alcohol and endorphins as you rutted against the oil drum.
You moaned, an almost soundless moan of ecstasy, your nails scratched down to his buttocks as you stumbled into oblivion together.

Am I out of my head?
Am I out of my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don’t think that I can explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated
Don’t matter what you say
Don’t matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can’t explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated

You let yourselves have a few minutes of coming down, soft kisses over harsh bites and loving whispers that always seemed way too soft to come from your old man. He pulled his jeans and underwear back on before helping you dress, giving you the odd kiss to the inside of your leg as he did which made you giggle.

The way we love, is so unique
And when we touch, I’m shivering
And no one has to get it
Just you and me
'Cause we’re just living
Between the sheets

You’d both been dressed for maybe thirty seconds when the door was kicked in, you were pushed behind Happy as he steadied his gun at the intruder.

Chibs dropped his weapon and Tig held his hands up in mock defence.
They took in the sight of both you, Happy for the most part looked like he usually did when he’d been drinking but you were a different tale. Your hair was thoroughly sexed, your face was flush from the drinking and the exertion, your lips where swollen and below your shorts fingerprint bruises were already forming on your thighs.

“Well, I guess that’s why it reeks of sex in here.” Tig chirped, his eyes quizzically going your form.
“Don’t ya think you and Y/N should have come straight back brother?” Chibs chastised lightly.
Sensing your old man about to get in trouble, you cuddled up to Happy’s side and purred, “My fault boys, I had to drag him away. What is he going to do with me?”
They knew that you were getting Happy out of shit but still Tig had to be there, “I’d think he’s done enough with you.”

I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body so I can take you wherever like,
I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body I can look at you whenever

Am I out of my head?
Am I out of my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don’t think that I can explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated
Don’t matter what you say
Don’t matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can’t explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated

anonymous asked:

in 4x07 when amy, jake, and his dad are talking and u see rosa and gina hanging out in the background and thats??? so adorable??? im garbage





Mon-El Defense Squad

So I’ve seen way too much hate on a character I really love. So I’m here to talk about a few things I’ve noticed people have said about him in a negative way and show you from my viewpoint why I don’t see what you see.

Mon-El is abusive: I literally have never seen this. While yes he did fight Kara when he first woke up that was a mere reaction to waking up dazed and confused with someone he didn’t know looking over him. That is why he reacted like that. He really doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He just wanted to go home.

Mon-El is a misogynist: misogynic - (used of men) having deep-seated distrust of women. I have never seen this. Mon-El even tells Kara that he would be safe with her. He gives himself over into her hands. He trains with her even though (if he were really a misogynist) he could train with J'onn, who is a male. Like I don’t see this. Yes, he allowed Eve to do his work, but that is part of his culture. Just like in any other culture different from yours, just because you don’t like/agree with it doesn’t make it wrong. Him allowing her to help, which she offered I might add, is not hurting anyone. Mon-El is still learning Earth customs and doings. He’s been there for only a few months!!!! Anyway, I’ve never seen him disrespect a woman or have a distrust of them.

Mon-El is a frat boy: Again, from what we have learned so far, this is part of his culture. They like to party and drink. Why am I going to hold that against him when that’s the only thing he has known literally all his life?

Mon-El is a fuck boy: I don’t even know where this came from. Like how? Why? We have seen him flirt but have we ever actually seen him kiss anyone besides Eve and Kara? Besides Kara assuming he was with someone when he was kidnapped, we have no proof he’s slept with anyone.

Mon-El is white: Yes, you are correct. The actor playing Mon-El is white. And? I’m a third Native American, a third Latina, and a third European, and I look whiter than him. You should never hate someone based off their skin color. That’s wrong on all counts. So no. Next.

Mon-El doesn’t want to be a superhero: Okay, and? Do you know what started this series? Kara living an ordinary life without being a superhero until she saw her sister was going to die in a plane crash. Only then did she use her powers. How long did she live on earth before that happened? 12 years. That’s 12 years of getting Earth customs down and mourning the loss of her planet and her family. 12 years of getting being a human down before deciding for herself she wanted to be a hero. I loved it when James said Clark didn’t want to make that decision for her. Clark wanted her to decide it on her own. Which she did. Can Mon-El have maybe just a little longer than a month to decide what he wants to do after learning that he has these powers he can’t quite control yet and lost his whole world and is the last (that we know of) survivor of said world? He already feels like he should have died with his planet, let the man mourn whether that be openly or internally. Don’t push such a weighty decision on him.

Mon-El is mean and rude to Kara: And she was so nice to him when she found out where he was from? They both had their prejudices about each other. Those don’t go away over night. I also see this from another side too. Have we seen Mon-El actually mourn for his planet? No, not openly. How do some people mourn? They lash out in anger and frustration. That is what I see. I see people pushing him to be a hero and do things that he isn’t ready to even think about. Over time, I truly believe he will decide to be a hero. But it will be his choice.

Mon-El is lazy: While yes, he does seem entitled at times, I think that’s because of how he was raised (since the theory is he is actually the Prince of Daxam). Also, what’s wrong with getting a job you like? He’s looking for something that suits him which is what all of us are doing, isn’t it? Being an intern wasn’t for him. I definitely couldn’t be an intern. But I also love my actual job (most of the time anyways). There’s nothing wrong with looking for something you can be passionate about.

Mon-El only wants to have sex with Kara: Did you miss the part where he asked if she was mated with someone? To him, mated means committed. So, no, he isn’t just looking for sex. He diverted answering Kara’s question because he does have feelings and he would be embarrassed if she didn’t reciprocate them. If someone I liked ever asked me outright if I liked them and I wasn’t ready to admit it and face rejection, you better believe I’m going to say no. Hell, even if I was ready, I would say no but that’s because of my own personal issues. But we have been shown that Mon-El doesn’t just want to have sex with Kara. He also didn’t call her beautiful for her looks. He called her beautiful because of her personality. He sees her taking on the weight of many worlds and taking the blame when it isn’t hers and he finds that beautiful about her.

Mon-El is predictable: He is based off a comic character. So, I guess? Plus certain character types are there for reasons. I always love a certain character for the same reason each time. That. Is. Why. They. Are. Loved. Just because you don’t like that character type doesn’t make them a horrible character. We all have different taste. You do you and I’m going to love what I love. It’s that simple.

Mon-El is holding Kara back: Kara was literally sent to Earth to look after her cousin and help him. That was going to be her purpose. Kara never got to fulfill that purpose. She sees she can mentor Mon-El and fulfill that purpose. Why is that holding her back? Why is helping someone else holding her back? Why is helping her overcome a prejudice holding her back? How is he holding her back? She is still saving lives and being a superhero. Why is it wrong to add another superhero in the mix? I don’t remember people getting angry when it was revealed Hank was J'onn. I was freaking ecstatic!!! I love J'onn. Are people angry for adding M'gann?? No. Let a superhero show be a superhero show. Supergirl didn’t always work alone in the comics, so why would she in this series.

Whether you like Mon-El or not, that’s fine. You are going to like or dislike a character and that is your choice. However, don’t ever hate an actor for a character he is playing. Chris is a sweetheart and doesn’t deserve the hate he is getting. So I guess this is a Mon-El and Chris defense squad post.

I wish someone was into me. I mean really into me. I wish someone would ask me how I am more than once a day. I wish someone could hit me up and ask me what’s important to me and what I’m passionate about. I wish someone would want to know what my favourite songs are and how I feel at 2pm and 2am. I wish someone would care about me enough to call me when I’m sad. I wish someone would stalk me completely on Facebook, stalk my favourites on Twitter, find my personal Tumblr and look at everything I reblog. I wish someone would be eager in taking my phone and going through my likes on Tumblr and going through all my photos and notes. I wish someone was interested in what I constantly think about and how I feel about certain things like nature and animals and the change of seasons. I wish someone would ask me what my favourite thing to do is and what my favourite food and drinks are. I wish someone would want to know what my hobbies include. I wish someone would care when I’m sad. I wish someone wanted to ask me about my future and what I want in life and want to be. I wish someone wanted to get to know me, I just want someone to be interested in knowing me, I want someone to love me for who I am. I wish someone would want to know me
—  My 11:11 wishes never come true

njuli  asked:

Heyyy I really love your blog and one with the best AU!!! Come to think of it, what was the biggest fight between teen Lance and Hunk in your familyAU?? :3

Oh damn B”) Thank you! That’s really sweet of you!! <3

[The Voltron Family] The kids are now in their teens. It was when Lance was having his teenage rebellious phase when he kept hanging out with the wrong crowd. Keith and Shiro arrived after doing groceries and they were greeted with Lance and Hunk having a heated argument in the living room, Lance’s game paused on the screen.

Hunk: *shouts* Everything’s not about you, Lance!
Shiro: Hey, what’s going on here?
Lance: *throws the controller to the sofa* FUCK YOU, HUNK! *shouts back* *storms out of the living room to go up to his room*
Shiro: Lance! What did I say about using rude language in this house?!
Hunk: That’s going to fall on deaf ears, Dad. *walks back to his room*
Shiro: *sighs* *looks at Keith*
Keith: C’mon, let’s put these things first and we’ll handle that after.
Shiro: It’s so rare for Hunk and Lance to fight. It’s usually Pidge and Lance with their sibling banter but since she’s currently at some science camp…
Keith: *nudges Shiro* It’ll work out. Just give them time to cool off. Now go place those eggs properly. I don’t want any broken shells like last time.

Shiro went to Lance’s room and he was lying on the bed with his headphones on, staring off at the ceiling. He approached the bed and sat beside Lance.

Shiro: *touches Lance’s leg gently to get his attention* 
Lance: *slowly looks at his Dad and takes off his headphones*
Shiro: *arms open wide* C’mon, bring it in.
Lance: *starts tearing up as he quickly gets up to sit and hug Shiro tightly, burying his face into his Dad’s neck*
Shiro: *rubs Lance’s back* Do you want to tell Daddy about it?
Lance: *mumbles incoherently*
Shiro: *nods* Okay, later then. Just let it all out, sweetheart.
Lance: *tightens his hug*
Shiro: *kisses Lance’s head* 

Keith went to Hunk’s room and he found his son working on some blueprint for one of his classes. Hunk let out a big sigh, dropping his pencil as soon as he noticed Keith entered the room.

Hunk: I feel bad, okay?
Keith: *sits on the bed* It’s usually rare of you to lash out on your brother. You and Lance are the closest considering your history.
Hunk: I know. *slouches*
Keith: Mind telling me what all that shouting was about then? *crosses arms* You know full well that we don’t tolerate shouting and use of rude language in this house, Hunk. I am aware the latter is more of Lance’s fault, however, you are guilty of the former.
Hunk: I overheard him talking to one of his friends and they were going somewhere late at night. It sounded shady so I wanted to prevent that without revealing that I eavesdropped. So I offered to help him with some studying because I knew his grades were slipping and it kinda blew off from there. In the end I admitted of hearing about his plan. Instead of preparing for finals which will be in a few days, he was just there playing video games the whole day and he said he could handle it. That if he flunked, you guys have all the money anyway so he could repeat another year again and I kinda got angry at that. So I told him you both wouldn’t have to waste so much on him if only he got his life together. He even got arrested for underage drinking and you had to bail him out. Then he said about living the teenage dream and I got angry again saying “Is your teenage dream ruining your future?” Then of course that got him angry, too. Said things about you both not loving him and not giving him attention and I admit I am so ashamed of myself for saying this but I said, all this time you and Daddy Shiro had been giving him so much attention because of—pardon my french—shit he’s been doing on purpose and that was when you both came in and heard me shout.
Keith: *breathes in heavily and lets it out* *stands up* Okay. I see when you’re coming from. It’s a good gesture in the grand scheme of things. 
Hunk: *nods* *plays with his fingers*
Keith: However, you do know as well that Lance has the The Middle Child Syndrome—so he’s going to seek out a little more attention because of that— and you also know of his low self-esteem. He knows he’s not doing as well as you and Pidge in school. Lance knows that himself, and I’m glad you only want to help out. But—
Hunk: I could’ve handled that better. *deflates* *teary eyed* God, I feel awful.
Keith: *smiles* *approaches* Hey, baby, look at me. I don’t expect you to be the perfect older brother for Lance. You tried your best and you just wanted to help. Give him time to cool his head off, which he’s probably doing now with your Daddy Shiro. I want you to leave this room and work things out with Lance, alright? Talk to him, hug him, kiss him. Express you love and care for him. He needs that especially from you because you’re his best friend. He probably feels like you hate him now because of this.
Hunk: *nods* Alright.
Keith: Hunk, don’t cry. *wipes his tears* *hugs*

Later that night while Shiro and Keith were laying in bed.

Shiro: Well, that worked out. *softly chuckles*
Keith: Yeah, thank god. I can’t handle the two of them not talking. Especially since they adore each other. 
Shiro: *smiles* Remember the first time we met Hunk? He wouldn’t shut up about his best friend and just—
Keith: They were so adorable. *laughs and squeezes Shiro’s hand*
Shiro: Agreed. *squeezes back* This was so emotionally draining though and I’m so tired, I have to admit. Lance thought that Hunk hated him.
Keith: Thought so. I’m glad they were good by dinner time or else I’m going to let them do the dishes together.
Shiro: You still did though. *laughs*
Keith: I did. *laughs* Washing the dishes is a good bonding exercise.
Shiro: *smirks* Is that what you think when we wash the dishes, Keith?
Keith: I’m going to kick you off the bed if you give me that look again, Takashi. I’m going to sleep now. *turns away from Shiro*
Shiro: *groans* Oh, c’mon, Keith! I was just joking! *pulls Keith closer to him so they could cuddle*
Keith: *hums* Good job today, dude. *offers a fist bump*
Shiro: *frowns at the offered hand*
Keith: *turns around to check on Shiro* Don’t leave me hanging, man! *pushes his fist towards Shiro even further*
Shiro: *frowns even further* But I want to kiss you—romantically—not fist bump you in a bro-way.
Keith: *chuckles* After the first bump, then we can kiss—romantically.
Shiro: *beams* *quickly fist bumps* *pulls Keith towards him for a big hug and a long passionate kiss*
Keith: Whoa! Slow down. I thought you were tired? *laughs*
Shiro: *eskimos kisses Keith* Hmmm, with you I’m never tired.
Keith: *groans* Oh noes. Sappy Takashi has resurfaced. Abort abort.
Shiro: Shut up. You love Sappy Takashi. *kisses Keith again*