things i do to keep myself occupied


I just think it’s funny and really cute how Yumoto brought his dinner with him when he left to respond to the True Love Alert. It was already in his hands and he just… got up from the table and ran with it.

And then they transformed after he finished eating and that conveniently disappeared the mess so he could fight without having to carry it the entire time he was being bombarded with soy curd. How considerate of their magical boy powers to do that for him. XD

Restricting basics ( P.1 )


restricting is actually very easy, but it takes discipline and motivation just like any other diet. the first week or two it might be hard, but if you really want to lose weight you’ll get through it.

one thing that people make the mistake of doing is trying to start out with a 500 or less calorie diet when they just had like 2000 yesterday. if you want to successfully restrict calories, you need to start at something like 1000-1200, especially if you’re new to restricting.

eating small meals throughout your day and staying around a normal calorie limit at first like 1200 will keep you from binging the first couple of weeks. once you get used to eating a smaller amount, it’s easier to eat less.

I dont hardly have any cravings at all. when I do, I occupy myself with something and remind myself i dont need that fat food and it goes away pretty quickly. it’s so easy for me to restrict now. it really is all about how quickly you jump into it.

some people might have the motivation and determination to start out at like 300 cals and not binge, but most don’t have that ability. starting out at an extremely low amount of calories when you just had 2000 the day before is never a good idea. you will only get discouraged and disappointed by the frequent binging and weight gain/maintaining. plus you’ll feel terrible physically; aches and pains, faint and weak, etc.

Gabriel x reader

WARNING:- THIS IS SMUT (so by warned ;) ) honestly this started as a bit of fluff but smut took over :P hope you enjoy :)

You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, the man - well angel - you mourned for, broke your heart over was standing in front of you next to Cas.

“Bet you thought you’d never see me again” he joked to Sam and Dean his eyes not meeting yours.  

“Cas what the hell man?” Dean asked, demanding an explanation from Castiel as to why the Archangel was standing in the bunker. 

Cas explained, in great detail, what Gabriel was doing here and honestly you didn’t take a word of it in except that he had faked his death,  that’s where you stopped listening. Gabe’s eyes had finally met yours and you hadn’t looked away since Cas had began talking. 

You could almost feel the burn of danger in your eyes as you glared at him, he faked his death? He’d been alive all this time? Never once letting you know? The reality of betrayal finally kicked in and you felt the unwelcome presence of the lump in the back of your throat you always got before the tears arrived.  

You stood abruptly from you chair in the library, the wooden legs scraping across the floor drawing all eyes in the room to you. 

“Excuse me” you said eerily quietly as you head towards the door

“You ok Y/n?” Sam asks carefully, you turn facing only him. 

“I’m fine Sammy” you reply with a sickly sweet smile,  you see Gabriel visibly gulp at your voice. It took alot to upset you but when you were upset, the people around you had best find shelter because all hell will break lose. 

You turned slowly back around, the plastic smile never leaving your face and you continue on your way. The remaining residents of the room not speaking a work until they thought you were out of ear shot. 

You heard a low whistle which you knew to be Dean

“You are in some serious shit! Not that I can blame her, what you did to her you deserve everything you get” you heard him growl “Oh and heads up, she does have an angel blade" 

Ah…yes, yes you did! Smiling evilly to yourself as you continue to you room, tearing open your cost and retrieving the blade within. You turn towards the door just in time to see the cause of your pain walk in. 

Eyes narrowed at him, you realise he’s not looking at you but at the blade in your hand. You can’t help but let a smirk appear on your lips, a smirk that would have but Lucifer to shame. 

“Y/n sugar why don’t we put down the angel blade and talk like normal people?” He says voice shaking slightly

You let out a small cackle “no, see I’m not normal - I’m a hunter and you’re not normal - you’re a lying, two faced, cheating, son of bitch Archangel! So I think that this” You say waving the blade back and forth in your hand “will be staying where it is” Gabe’s eyes shot to yours to see nothing but hurt staring back. 

He stood there silent. 

“How could you? How could you do this to me?” You whisper “I mourned you, do you even care how you made me feel?” You demand your free hand folding into a fist, shaking with anger.

“Oh sugar,  of course I do….” he made to move closer,  before halting to a stop as you raised you angel blade to keep him away from you. 

“Don’t!” You warn, livid that he thinks this would have been so easy. “Don’t do that! Try and make this easy on you! You let me think you were dead!” You scream, not caring that the entire bunker could probably hear you.  

He went to open his mouth before you cut him off

“No! You don’t get to speak! You stand there and listen!”  

He held his hands up in surrender making no attempt to move or speak. 

“Do you have any idea what it was like? To see you lying there? I ran back in, Lucifer be dammed. I came back for you” anger melting away into sadness as you remembered that night, “Sam…Sam had to carry me out, I was catatonic. I didn’t speak for days! Just wept!” your hand that held you blade began to shake as you held it up to him. 

True to his unspoken word he made no comment just stood there as you poured out your pent up emotions

“And then there was HER! Seeing that bitch all over you, no warning as to who she was to you….If it hadn’t been for Dean I…I saw red ” you let out a sad chuckle 

“I was about this close” you say holding your index finger and thumb barley parted “this close the running across that room and ripping her off you by her hair!“ 

He started to laugh, but the fire in your eyes stopped him  dead. 

“You should have told me that you and she were….I felt like an idiot, although it all made sense after a while. What would an angel see in me?“ 

Gabriel had enough “Oh please!” He drawled out in his annoyed voice “stop with the self wallowing princess, Kali and I were over a long time ago…It was needed to get you out of there safe" 

“What did you just say to me?” You snarl, your grip tightening on your blade.

“OH you heard me, boo hoo my boyfriend kept secrets from me…" 

“SECRETS?!” You scream out so loud you thought you felt the room shake. “YOU LET ME THINK YOU WERE DEAD! For years Gabriel!” You choke out, blinking back to tears stepping forward angrily, before you realised he’d just refered to himself as you your boyfriend,  he’d never done that before…In fact he went out of his way not to label your relationship.

The angel blade getting too close to Gabriel’s chest for his liking.

“Y/n put the blade down or I’ll do it for you” he tried to sound steady and intimidating but you see something flash behind his eyes so quickly,  you thought you’d imagined it. Fear. 

*Why is he scared? He’s an angel…like Cas…oh…he’s losing his power like rest who fell…*

“Oh really?” You drawl out “what are you going to do Gabe? Teach me a lesson? Snap me into another dimension?” He swallowed slowly

“If I have to…” you start laughing 

“Oh please! Look at you! Poor little Archangel!” He frowns at you “Gabriel if you had any power you would have snapped your fingers and zapped this away the second you walked through that door” you pointed your hand towards the half closed door to your left. Unfortunately for you, you pointed with the hand you held the angel blade. 

Gabriel moved so fast your brain almost couldn’t register it. He moved in took the blade from your hand throwing it on your bed, before gathering you in his and pulling you flush against his chest. You look up at him shocked

“You forget sugar, I’m a soldier. I can disarm people without snapping a finger” He smirked 

You shove against him, to make him let you go. You step back from him breathing heavily.  

He reaches for your face, but you pull away shaking your head

“You left me…” you whisper “you have no idea…”

You see him eyes darken and his shoulders tense. You knew he was gonna blow.

“DON’T I?” You jump backwards in shock, he paced, waving his arms around “you think I haven’t watched you? The only thing I ever did was watch you!" 

You had to look away from him intense stare, your eyes fall to the floor.

He took a breath "I had to watch you let me go… move on with your life…” your eyes snap up to his, you begin to drown in pools of honey. 

“Let you go? Move on?” You shake you head at him 

“When exactly when did I do this? Oh was that when I’m hunting 24/7 to keep occupied? Or was that when I still cry myself to sleep some nights? Or when I still wake up screaming for you when I see you lying on the floor in that hotel in my dreams?” Tears now slipping from your eyes at you decoration of feelings.

He steps closer and this time you don’t move away.

“You were it for me Gabe…if I wasn’t with you…what felt for you…I loved you!” You shook your head finding yourself unable to find any more words.   

He stood there staring at you before deciding a course of action. He rushed forward once again pulling you to his chest before kissing you. Pouring years of built up passion and need into you. You hand dives into his hair gripping tightly making him moan. 

After a few minutes you both pull away. Gabriel looking down at you smirking lightly.

“Still love me?” He asks being cocky running his hand down you hair. You run you hands down his chest pushing him away slightly, you out on your sweetest smile. Dropping you hands from his chest, before pulling your right arm back and punching him straight in the jaw and kneed him in the groin.

Yes it hurt, not as much as it would have if he’d have been at full power, but he was almost human and you felt the pain was worth it to wipe that smirk off his face. But you would at the very least have some bruised knuckles in the morning. 

You here a groan and a snort of laughter from behind you. You turn to see the rest of team free will standing at the door. Dean and Sam laughing and Castiel grimacing. You smile yourself, before turning back to your Angel.

“You really thought it was going to be that easy? Good lord Gabriel! You do remember who you are dealing with? ” Cas said from behind you. Which caused you to smile. 

Gabriel, who had been curled over elbows on his knees since your two blows, though still standing…that’s how you remember he’s an angel, those blows would have taken a human to the ground. 

“Yes thank you brother!” He ground out in pain, which made you feel proud “I forgot for a second that my girlfriend was violent” he straightened up, face still full of pain

Your face no longer holding a smile but one of shock. He called you his girlfriend! 

“What?” He asks. You turn to look at Sam, Dean and Cas who seem as shocked as you. Though Gabriel was still confused. “What?” He asks again

“What did you call me?” You say quietly so afraid to break the spell.

You hear the boys clear their throat and excuse them self’s but you pay no attention,  you only have eyes for Gabe.

His face goes white when he realised what he’d done.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” he says trying to hide behind his trickster persona, but you push him.

“Oh no! You don’t get to do that after everything! You call me your Girlfriend!” He gulps shaking his head “and earlier you refered to yourself as my boyfriend" 

"No I didn’t” he insisted, glaring you shrug.

“Ok fair enough, maybe I miss heard” he nodded in agreement “but it’s ok, you know why? Cause Cas was here a second ago when I thought I heard you say it so I’ll just ask, oh Ca..” you say walking towards the door, but you don’t get to finish 

He grabs you spinning you around and slamming you against the door knocking all air from your lungs as your back hits the wood. His face centimetres from yours breathing heavily, hands either side of your head.

“Fine” he snarled out “I called you my girlfriend and I said I was your boyfriend,  happy?“ 

Happy? You were fucking ecstatic! He’d just refered to you as a couple,  more than he’d done in the hole time you were together! But you weren’t letting on, despite the happy dance you were doing in your head

"Why?” You ask simply, he frowns at the question 

“Because I hate to be the one to break it to you sugar lips, but that’s what we are! We’re a couple!” Your heart lept “you are mine” he said stepping into your body. 

You were about to push him away, rip into him for claiming you like a piece of meat, when he added “and I’m yours” he sighed, looking at you lovingly “all yours, always have been…from the second I saw you in the college” you melt. Glad you the door behind you to hold you up. Smiling at the memory of you first encounter with the trickster. 

“Oh Gabe..” you lean forward claiming his lips in yours, the kiss was simple and sweet. You pull away to feel a tear fall from your eye.  He wipes it away tenderly

“Don’t suppose, this means I’m off the hook?” He asks although he already knows the answer 

“Bitch please!” You quote him making him smile “to quote you brother, do you remember who you’re dealing with?”

“Yeah I figured not..” He sighs “and its not like I can snap us away for a romantic getaway either.  So what do I do?” He asks honestly not knowing how to get you to forgive him.

You smile “it’s simple sugar” you state pushing away from the door pushing him away from you as you go “you do it the human way” He frowns unsure of your meaning “you work for it. You messed up Gabe,  majorly….you’ve got ALOT of grovelling to do”

He nods “so were do I start?”

You think "well…I got into a rough fight with a vamp yesterday and I’m aching like a bitch” you say walking over to your bed before sitting on it.

“You can massage my shoulders” he smiles wickedly waggling his eyebrows. You blush despite trying to remain stern. “Just my shoulder Gabe” you say with a warning tone.

He nods again, climbing on the bed behind you “I can do that" 

After a few minutes of a wonderful massage that had you moaning like crazy, you felt Gabe slow his movements, and shift behind you. You suddenly feel his lips on your neck,  you gasp in surprise.

“Gabe…” you murmur “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Nothing baby,  just trying to be thorough” he replied breathy as he sucked on the sensitive skin behind your ear, causing your eyes to roll back. 

You smile to yourself wickedly, *this could be a fun night*

You let out a deep moan and he bites the skin, marking you as his. Smiling into your neck, massage forgotten he runs his hands down you sides. Burning a pathway in your skin beneath you clothed with his fingers.  

You were in a internal boxing match between you brain and heart.

Your brain telling you to push him away and you heart telling you to go for it you loved him, and right now the heart was winning. 

He pulled you further back between his legs as he sat on his knees,  his excitement obviously pushing into you back. You both groan at the friction.

That was the final swing the knockout out you brain and your heart won the fight, you wanted him so badly. 

“Fuck it” you say pushing off him and turning around, you straddled him. His arms Instantly wrapped around you. 

“Thought I has ‘alot of making up to do’” he asks smirking you don’t have the heart to glare instead you look at him with hooded eyes.

“You do, and you can start here” you say as you ground yourself against his growing erection, causing you both you moan. Staring deep into his eyes you whisper “make love to me" 

Gabriel was not someone who had to be told twice. The split second those words left your lips, he grabbed your hips, flipped you on your back, held you hands above your head and dove his tongue into you mouth to meet yours making you whimper at his dominance.  

That was one thing you always loved about Gabriel,  although he was gentle and never took things too far, the way he towered over you, pinning you beneath him. The way he slammed into you, gripping your hips so tightly he left bruises.  He made you feel unbelievably feminine, and as a hunter that wasn’t something you felt often. 

His lips left yours, pulling away from you making you cry in protest. He smiles down pulling your body up by your arms pulling you to him, ripping off your shirt and bra, the gently pushing you back to the mattress with a firm kiss. 

He moved to your neck suckling and biting, leaving a trail of marks as he went. You knew you’d be annoyed in the morning when you’d have to hide them, but for you were in too much bliss to care. 

He pulled away again, but only to remove his shirt. He dove back down immediately finding your breast, taking it in his mouth teasing your nipple with his teeth biting lightly making you gasp before sucking to sting away. You arched up to him as he moved to repeat his action on the other breast. 

You dig your hand in his hair pulling lightly as he sucked you breast. You needed more, you rolled you hips up into his, trying to relieve the burning between you legs. Gabe’s hand snap down to your hips stopping you shaking his head. 

"Please Gabe, I need you” you beg,  your voice full of lust.  He smiles down at you rolling your nipple between his finger making you squirm beneath him.

“You’ll get me baby, just not yet” he teased, kissing you and the lips before leaving a trail of hot, wet, kissed down the centre of your body. 

He stops at the edge of your jeans, looking at you like a predator on the hunt making you shiver with anticipation. Flashing you a smile,  he pops the buttons on your jeans. You hold back a moan, or you think you do…but by the way he’s laughing against you skin it must have slipped out.

He grips the side of you jeans, hooking his long fingers into the sides of you panties too, and without a warning he pulls them off in one. The friction against you pussy,  making you cry out and throw your head back. 

You slow your breathing, as you feel Gabriel’s hands slid up your thighs. Your breath hitches as you see him lie between your legs and blowing air onto you pussy.

“Gabe!” You moan 

“Fuck baby, look how wet you are” he looks up at you

If you had to be trapped in just one moment forever, it would be this one. Him looking up at you, with nothing but love and want in his eyes. The weight of the world gone from both your shoulders, there’s just the two of you. 

You reach to touch his face “for you Gabe” you whisper “only for you baby”

He reaches out and kisses your hand before kissing your thigh and finally he’s there, his lips ghosting over you. You beg him, but he ignores you. 

You are almost crying when he finally dives in. Latching onto your clit sucking lightly as he slips his fingers inside you hitting your g spot like he had a thousand times. You’re falling apart in his arms and he’s enjoying every second of it. 

“Gabe…baby..oh fuck!” You cry as you came hard. He laps at your juices as you writhe on the bed coming down for high. “Fuck baby you taste even better than I remember!” He says his voice so husky.

You look down at him after a few minutes to see him, arm propping up his head looking very pleased with himself and you’ve never seen anything so sexy. You lift you hand making the come hither motion with your finger.  He crawls up your body and crashes his lips to yours. There nothing in the kiss but pure passion. Your hands drop to his jeans unfastening then, you go to reach your hand in eager to please him like he did you. But he grabs you wrist. You look at him in confusion

“Not tonight baby” he says kissing you again only this time with so much tenderness it makes your head spin. “Tonight is all about you” he kisses you again, harder showing that there no room for argument. 

He moves away removing his jeans. You shiver as he does, you can’t tell if it’s from the cold from the absence of his body or from wanting him so badly.

Gabriel didn’t care either way, you groaned as he frees himself from his jeans, you pant at the sight.  It has been so long since you had him inside you, you were tingling at the thought. 

You feel yourself wet and ready for him again as you caress your breast making yourself moan as he slides slowly up your body mesmerised by you hand touch your chest. 

He catches your gaze, his honey gold eyes now practically black with lust. With a wink he pushes your legs up, rubbing himself over your slit before sliding into you at an agonisingly slow pace. You eyes roll back in pleasure and your breath catches, you can’t breathe it feels so good. 

Gabriel freezes “breathe baby, come on” he says as he reaches down to kiss your cheek. You suddenly gasp for air. “That it, that’s my girl” he kisses you lightly

“Gabe” you whimper “Oh fuck, feels so…” you fail to produce a coherent sentence with the pleasure that fills your head. 

“I know y/n, I know baby feels so fucking good” you nod, as if he read your mind. “You ok?” He asks readying himself to move again 

“Please” you beg breathlessly he moves again. You try to focus on every nerve being touched as he slides in filling you perfectly. 

“Fuck!” He snarls as he pushes all the way into you. “Baby you feel so good, Fuck y/n it feels like home" 

He reaches down to claim your mouth once more. He was right nothing else could ever feel this good. His lips where still on yours as he began to move. Sliding out of you almost completely. 

You scream into his mouth as he slams back into you. 

He keeps a slow steady pace, you plead with him to go faster "Gabe please baby, I need to to move” you groan as you wrap you leg tight around his waist and pull him into you, his pelvic bone grazing your clit. You throw your head back. 

You hear him chuckle as he picks up pace a little but not enough then he stops inside of you, he’s teasing. You growl with need and look at him, you flex your inner walls around him and sigh with pleasure. Suddenly he’s not laughing anymore.

“Tell me what you want y/n” he says grinding into you still buried to the hilt making your cry. You move your lips to his ear and say in a low sexy voice

“Fuck me Gabe,  please baby make me come on your cock” he realised an animalistic growl you’ve never heard him make, and before you can think he starts moving his hips again.

He pulls out of you completely before slamming back into you making you scream with ecstasy. You can feel your orgasm building and you start to see stars.

“Gabe I’m so close” you mewl clawing at his back

“Me too y/n I’m right with you baby” he pants.

You scream as you come hard, tightening around him. Gabriel groaned as your muscles clenched around him. 

“Fuck y/n” He shuddered, his own orgasm consuming him, before falling into you.

You wrap your arms around him holding him close. He pushes up to kiss you deeply.

“Well I’d say someone enjoyed herself” he smirked sweat slick hair falling in front of his eyes. “Especially from all the begging” he wagged his eyebrows

You giggled, “You did it on purpose,  you just like hearing me beg” you reply blushing looking away embarrassed.  

He grabs you chin making you look at him. 

“There is nothing more sexy than hearing you beg me to fuck you,” you gasp  at the look in his eye. You feel your inner muscles clench at his words. As you tighten around him causing him to groan, “Fuck” he drops his head to your shoulder. 

You giggle again muttering a half hearted apology. 

He laughs as you feel him harden again inside of you. You close you eyes, loving the feeling . He suddenly flips you both over so you straddle him. 

“How about I make things up to you some more? ” he asks raising an eyebrow. 

You laugh “well its only right,  you do have a lot to make up for” you wink down at him as you roll your hips

“Fuck! God I love you y/n ” he states no hint of teasing. 

You push forward bringing your lips to his,  you hips rising as you do, before you can move down he slams up into you making you scream his name. 

“I love you too” you pant “just never fucking leave me again” you pray to him.

“Never, never again. That I promise you”

Cherry Blossoms [III] - a chanyeol story

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

As usual, very nervous about y’all’s opinions! I can’t wait to hear what you all think. This is the longest chapter yet, I may have gotten carried away! 

Part One - Part Two - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight

Plot: It has been four years since the love of his life let him go, and Chanyeol still hasn’t moved on. What was supposed to be a relaxing day at the beach turns to the day he’s been waiting for.

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader


I opened my eyes slowly, feeling my lashes flutter against my brow as I did. I wasn’t ready to wake up, but trains were never smooth enough to take a quality nap. I leaned my forehead against the train window and admired the view. Tall, deep green trees filled the mountains as far as my eyes could see. It had been years, possibly over a decade even, since I had stepped foot on a train. I hadn’t had any reason to; and even if I had wanted to, I wouldn’t have been allowed. I could have taken my own car, or rode in a chauffeured vehicle from the company. I would have been highly encouraged not to take the train.

But times change. People change. People get older. People choose what they want to do on their own. 

And I wanted to ride the goddamn train to the beach.

I definitely had time to kill, at any rate. My life went from running at breakneck speed to a slow, lagging pace. My group hadn’t put out a comeback since last year, before Junmyeon left for his service. It hadn’t been the same without Minseok hyung, anyway. The dorm was virtually lifeless without his presence. If it had been lifeless with one member missing, it may as well be a graveyard now. Junmyeon and Baek were both serving as police officers, and Yixing was back in China, taking some time off with his family. Sehun didn’t even live at the dorms anymore; his modeling career made it impossible for him to stay. He barely had room for his clothes, let alone his three dogs. Kyungsoo was so preoccupied with his film career that he was rarely home.

It was really just me, Jongin and Jongdae. The rest? They lived there in name only.

But I love my brothers. Nothing could ever change that. Things aren’t the same as they used to be, but we aren’t kids anymore. It’s been almost ten years since we debuted, and military service is beginning to pull us apart. It isn’t very easy to find things to do to occupy yourself after your life and career come to nearly a screeching halt. I’ve gone on dates, vacations, and even taken on some acting work to fill the holes in my life. I hated silence; silence always makes me feel like I’m choking. I missed the noisy life I used to live, back when everything made sense. I’ve attempted to keep myself busy with songwriting, particularly composing and recording acoustic tracks. My solo debut wasn’t what fans were expecting; I didn’t sell out stadiums, but I had a decent following. I’ve released at least thirty songs in the last four years, for one sole purpose.

I need her to hear them.

I can still remember what it felt like when she cut my heart out of my chest. It was a physical sensation, the loss of love, the loss of part of me. It broke me in a way that I didn’t think possible. I thought we were invincible, and I didn’t think that forever was supposed to have an end. I recalled how it took every ounce of willpower I had to stop myself from getting on my knees and begging her to give me a second chance to be who she deserved. We had promised to stay friends, but the idea of being only a friend to the person who held my heart, and my life in her very hands was beyond painful; it was unbearable. 

So I gave us both space, a year’s worth. I remember her texting her on her birthday, only to discover that she had changed her number. She moved away from her apartment. Our apartment. I stopped seeing glimpses of her stunning face when we crossed paths on our daily commute. I had no idea where she was, or how she was doing. 

But I couldn’t forget her. 

I don’t want to forget her.

How is it possible for someone to forget the love of their life? How is it possible to forget the reason why my heart still aches? I’ve loved her since I was fourteen years old, literally half of my life. I spent years sneaking out of the dorms at night just to call her and tell her that I love her. Idols never sleep, and I slept even less than the typical idol. I didn’t want to waste a second of my time not being with her, breathing in her scent and holding her close. After I debuted, I did what I could to keep us adrift. I didn’t want what we had to fade, even though I felt her slipping away from me with every day that passed. There were so many days that I would be backstage, listening to a voicemail from her and choking back sobs as I heard her heartbroken voice pour through my phone speaker. I had to go back on stage and paste a smile on my face, because I owed it to the fans. I had to be present for them, if I couldn’t be present for her. I couldn’t be enough for her, and I lost the only thing that made me happier than making music with my best friends. Now, I write song after song for her, trying my best to channel my still deep love for her into every single verse. I have spent sleepless nights playing my guitar until my fingers burn, ensuring that my feelings flowed through every note. I needed her to hear them, needed her to know how sorry I was for causing her heartache. I felt that ache, knew what it was like to shed tears over someone who wasn’t coming back. And I needed her to know that I regretted every second I had lost with her.

I wasn’t myself, and I hadn’t been for four years. There was no way I could possibly be Park Chanyeol without her. I shook my head bitterly as I reminded myself that I didn’t deserve to call her my soulmate now. I had taken her for granted, ignored tearful voicemails, and broken more promises than I could even count. The virtually stagnant pace of my life had made these thoughts ever-present, in a way that they hadn’t been in years past. I had started writing songs for her as an outlet for my love, a way to express what I couldn’t. But the last few songs have been desperate, practically pleading with myself to let go.

Maybe one day I could. Maybe I already am.

I took my first ever day off from songwriting today. I hadn’t slept in two days, and I was beginning to have unusually vivid dreams of her face. I needed to shake off the perpetual despair that had been hanging over me for years, casting even the most positive aspects of my life in shadows. Minseok was home, and he wanted a day at the beach. Who was I to deny him that?

The train slowed to a steady crawl, and I saw him before the wheels came to a full stop. His hair was shorter than I had ever seen it, but that smile was the same. Once the train doors slid open, I jumped off the platform eagerly and wrapped my hyung into a hug. I hadn’t realized just how much I had missed him, and how much I missed all of us being together.

“Minseok-ah. Welcome home!” We pulled away from our hug and just stared at each other, wondering where to begin after two years apart. “Chanyeol, I’m fucking starving and I’m desperate for beer and chicken. Let’s go.”

It was a five minute drive to the beach from the Busan train station. We sat in comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s presence. We found a chimek restaurant close to the beach, close enough to see the waves and smell the ocean air mingling with the smell of crispy, spicy chicken.We talked as we ate; catching up on things we’d both missed. I lazily gazed out the window as I listened to Minseok’s excited speech, wondering whether we should head to the beach before the sun went down. After all, this was my day off. I felt lighter somehow, feeling the ever-present weight on my shoulders just a little less.

Something, someone caught my eye. A small figure in the distance with hair so long and so shiny, it captured the sun’s rays and glimmered in them. Her hair blew in the breeze, and I was instantly taken back to days of cherry blossoms and laughter, and that same beautiful hair entwined in my fingers.

Suddenly, I wasn’t sitting in a chicken restaurant, making up for lost time with a friend I’ve known for nearly all of my life. I felt myself stand up without being entirely conscious of my movements. My legs carried me up and out the door of the building. I tuned out Minseok’s frantic shouting and ran, ran until my heart was pounding in my chest and my breathing became ragged.

I could hardly believe that I had found her, after all of these years of waiting, hoping, and wishing she would waltz back into my life.

I quietly whispered her name, and saw her shoulders tense up. Slowly, way too slowly, she turned around. I drank in every detail of her face, noticed the fine lines under her eyes, and saw the glow in her skin. I could have stood there for hours, and it would have felt like one minute. We were standing there, together, while time stood still. Did she want to escape, run away from me like she did before? Or did she feel rooted to her spot like I did? Everything was moving so fast around us, and yet no one was there but her. I couldn’t read her, but why should I have been able to? I didn’t know who she was or what she had been through after our years and months apart.

I saw a flicker of light out of the corner of my eye, and it drew my gaze. Instantly, I wished I hadn’t looked. My heart skipped a beat; the breath leached from my lungs.

So she did find her forever.

I had always known she would.

Findings - part III


Summary: The boys stumbled on a case - and the little girl in the middle of it. So now what?

Characters: Dean, Sam, and Mackenzie, reader (mentioned)

Words: 4936

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of character death, mentions of kidnapping, daddy!Dean feels

A/N: I hope you like this part - I know I do! And if you have theories of what’s going on, it’d be cool to hear them. ;-)

Again, thank yous to my lovelies;  @arryn-nyxx for the aesthetic and @deanssweetheart23 for beta’ing.

PART III - Comfort and camaraderie


I woke up in the morning in a thirteen-in-a-dozen motel when Sam started shifting around the room. We had driven a few hours last night and stopped for the night wherever here was - somewhere in Wyoming. Mackenzie had slept the whole time, even when I carried her to the room and settled her on the couch under a few blankets. She was still asleep now as I stumbled to the bathroom, still groggy myself. It took me ten minutes under the lukewarm shower to fully wake up and get my brain working.

It was supposed to be a quick stop. What the hell happened that we’re in this mess? Granted, we killed a few demons, but now we were tangled in something that seemed way bigger than anticipated - and that didn’t even include Mackenzie. Shit, I must have been out of my mind to want to take her with us. It had felt so necessary last night, but right now the idea just made me nervous. We should just figure out a safe place and get rid of her. Maybe Garth would know some hunter who actually liked kids. Yeah, that’s what we’ll do, I decided pushing every other thought aside and turned off the shower. That should make Sam happy too. It’s not like we have to be the ones to take care of her.

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The problem with Domestic!Avengers stories is that certain characters become very difficult to find gifs for. I’m not complaining - they’re great fun to write, but it means I have to stretch to using gifs of the actors rather than the characters which in some cases can ruin the illusion. It’s nothing too drastic here though, it actually works quite nicely, so I hope that @twilighost123‘s request is as fun for you guys to read as it was for me to write. Enjoy, my darlings! 

Prompt: Can you a Bucky x reader where whenever you’re alone with him he’s flirty and playful with you but whenever someone else shows up or is around he goes into tough Winter Soldier mode please


You hadn’t known him that long. So when Bucky Barnes came and put his arm around you, to say your heart was beating out of your chest was an understatement. You had peacefully been watching television when the Winter Soldier had collapsed onto the sofa next to you. The next thing you know he was sliding his arm incredibly subtly around your shoulders.

“What’re you doing there Buck?” You asked when you felt his hand brush past your neck.
“Just gettin’ comfy.” He said. After taking a quick breath, you continued channel hopping as Bucky gradually snuggled closer and closer to you. When you settled on a documentary about dinosaurs, he grunted.
“This is dull.”
“No, it’s not. It’s-”

Bucky scrambled across your lap and attempted to pry the remote from your fingers. You stretched your arm further out but he was determined and soon was leaning fully across your lap before he had finally gotten hold of it. Instead of returning to his seat, Bucky simply decided to stay there and block your view of the TV with his torso whilst finding something more suitable. He skipped past a couple of things before eventually deciding to go back to the documentary.
“You’re right. Nothing else was on.”

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Quick Fix

Another day, another prompt … Someone stop me please.


Quick Fix

[Fandom]:Voltron: Legendary Defender

[Rating]: Teen Audience/ Gen

[Genre]: Friendship, character introspection, Hurt, Comfort

[Word count]:  4.000

[Warning]: Angst, detailed depictions of depression and its symptoms/ read at own risk

[Status]: oneshot/ completed

[AN]: Please note that Allura is not the villain. Allura is the leader of a group fighting a war. She has to make the hardest decisions and I think she is painfully aware of that fact. And I greatly admire her for her strength and willingness to take on the burden her father left her with.

The real enemy in this is homesickness and people not properly communicating. (and depression)


He wanted to get a grip on it. He needed to get a grip on it.

But he just couldn’t.

Lance did not know when it had gotten out of hand like this, couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when his whole inner world had collapsed. Funny thing was: he could not even say if he meant this literally or not.

Because fuck did everything hurt at this point.

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Yes, you heard me right - you actually can beat procrastination by procrastinating. I’ve tried it (and that’s what I’m doing right now) and I can assure you that it actually works! 

So if you’re like me, you would try to put off your task because you’re simply lazy, or sometimes it’s just anxiety taking control. You know you need to study, write that essay but you just can’t, just because. I experience short to long periods of slump at least once in a day, which renders me unable to anything productive at all. 

For such times, I prepare what I call my “Productive Procrastination” list. 

See, even if I want to do something, I know I won’t so I don’t even bother with the pep talk and all that stuff. What I do instead is, take the list in my hand and go over it. Now my list contains tasks that I wouldn’t normally do or basically just put off. 

Every Sunday I’ll sit down with my fancy paper and note down all things that I should do, but I’m likely to not. My list looks like this :

◼ Sort your clothes
◼ Do the laundry
◼ Organise your desk
◼ Get rid of digital clutter

And then there’s another list for when I’m the epitome of lazy. It goes something like this :

◼ Water the plants
◼ Drink water
◼ Hug mom and tell her you love her
◼ Charge your phone/laptop/tablet
◼ Pick out clothes to wear the next day
◼ Grab a light snack 
◼ Post something on Tumblr
◼ Call your best friend 
◼ Wear perfume/lotion/something that smells good
◼ Listen to (podcasts /speech /songs) in target language (French for me) 

Normally I find something that I can do (the hug your loved one thing always works), which makes me lift my ass and do something. Also, note that most of the things I’ve listed are pretty boring, which is why when I’m doing them I’ll want to do something interesting. 

Which, in fact, pushes me to do the task I had been putting off initially. Even if I does not, I end up doing something. 

It’s alright to just do nothing at times, but if you’re like me, you’ll make this a habit. Therefore, although breaks are always welcome and appreciated, I tend to avoid them. I finished the essay? Time to make some notes. Made them already? Take some pictures and upload them! 

I find keeping myself occupied easier than doing nothing - even though it should be the other way round. So go ahead, make your own productive procrastination list and get started! 

chicaanormal143  asked:

Hola! Bueno, ya que TMNT ya está por acabar ya que a todos nos encanta la nueva serie de DuckTales me gustaría mucho que también subieras sus capítulos 😍 Mucho amor para ti! 👋🏼

Buenas. Vamos a ver, esto tenía que comentarlo tarde o temprano, pero ya que has sacado el tema voy a decir por adelantado que, tras estos años grabando TMNT 2012 (USA-España) Miraculous (Francia-España) FLASH (España) y TLOK (España), quiero “jubilarme” poco o poco y dejar de grabar series. Me gusta hacerlo, pero el problema es el hecho de estar diariamente pendiente de cuando salen los episodios, grabar, editar, subir, compartir, comprobar que todos mis enlaces están bien, etc … que me ocupa un tiempo que debería estar utilizando para cosas más importantes en mi vida personal. Si comencé a grabar era por TMNT ya que, a diferencia de las otras series, es casi imposible poder encontrar el episodio subido en el mismo día. Voy a seguir con TMNT 2012 por supuesto, pero una vez termine TMNT 2012 (tanto en España como en USA), ya solo me limitaré a Miraculous en España (ya me he comprometido, no puedo dejarlo a medias). 

Y sí, eso quiere decir que no grabaré TMNT 2018 (ni siquiera se si estaré en su fandom o no). En cuanto al resto de series, es fácil encontrar links por Internet en el mismo día de su emisión, incluso de Ducktales. 

Mi era tiene que acabar tarde o temprano, dejemos que otros se encarguen de las nuevas series. 


I want to translate my answer because this is related to my blog in the future:

The ask says: 

“Hello! Well, since TMNT is about to end and seeing that we all love the new series of Ducktales, I would like you to upload the episodes too”

My answer:

Well, I had to talk about this sooner or later, but since you mentioned it I’m going to say in advance that, after all those years recording TMNT 2012 (USA-Spain) Miraculous (France-Spain) FLASH (Spain) and TLOK (Spain), I want to “retire” bit by bit and stop recording TV Shows. I like to do it, but the problem is the fact of being daily watch out for when episodes come out, recording, editing, uploading, sharing, checking that all my links are fine, etc … which occupies a time I should use for most important things in my personal life. If I started to record, it was for TMNT 2012 since, unlike the other series, it is almost impossible to find the episode uploaded on the same day. 

I will keep recording TMNT 2012 of course, but once TMNT 2012 ends in USA and Spain, I will only limit myself to Miraculous in Spain (I have already committed myself, I can not leave it halfway). 

And yes, that means I will not record TMNT 2018 (I do not even know if I’ll be in its fandom or not). For the rest of the series, it is easy to find links on the Internet on the same day of its broadcast, including Ducktales.

My era has to end sooner or later, let other fellows take care of the future TV Shows.

Break Up Series (Luke Hemmings x Reader): Chapter Two - Beside You

Summary: Three weeks into the first leg of the tour, you’re missing Luke, and wondering if he’s thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about him. Both of you are yearning for each other, and are clinging onto every last thing that could connect you to each other. 

Warnings: Expletives, sexual innuendos.

A/N: Writing this chapter actually made me cry a little? That’s never happened to me before, but I hope you enjoy it! :)



It’s funny how time works – it feels like it’s been three years since Luke left for tour, when in reality it’s only been three weeks. I thought it might have gotten easier by now – the fact that he’s away – but, if anything, it’s only got harder the longer it’s been. I’m faced with constant reminders of him every single day. From being asked about him by family and friends, to still going for dinner at his parent’s place on a Tuesday, to him being all over social media, to seeing his tour posters covering the entire city – it feels like I’m going through a bereavement but the person in question isn’t actually dead. Luke is literally all I can think about, and whilst it makes me feel as though a massive part of me is missing, he is the only thing I want to think about. It’s like the pain of not having him around is what is getting me through this – it means I was wrong; nothing has changed between us.

The nights are always the hardest, because they give me more time to think. I keep myself occupied during the day – running errands for my parents, hanging out with friends, going to the movies; whatever it takes to keep my mind off my absent boyfriend – but there’s nothing much to do at night, other than think about all the things I could have done with Luke that day and then cry myself to sleep. My parents think I’m being ridiculous – they haven’t said so, but they don’t have to – but I think that’s because they don’t fully believe ‘kids our age’ can possibly be as in love as I insist we are. I think they wanted me to break up with Luke before he left for tour – they were always sceptical of him over the fact he was in a band and, they too, had read the Rolling Stone issue, which didn’t make Luke look like the model-boyfriend. They had seemed to warm to him, though, after they got to know him better.  I don’t know why they seem to have changed their mind.

It’s night now – well, early hours of the morning – and I’m sitting by the window in my bedroom, with only the fairy-lights above my bed lighting up my room, and my phone in my hand. I look out the window, but there’s nothing much to see – after all, most people are asleep at-this-time of night. It’s then that I notice the city light that usually lights up my street has gone out. I don’t know when or why it went out, but the others further down the road are all switched on, so it looks as though the bulb has gone. When I was younger, I used to have trouble sleeping because of my nightmares. When I was really young, I used to just wake my mum up, and she’d comfort me. But, when I felt I was too old for that, I’d get up and sit exactly where I am now. I’d look out of my window, and that city light would be shining. With that in mind, I’d watch as the night faded away around me, and I wouldn’t feel so scared anymore – like for as long as there is light, there is hope. This is the first time I’ve ever seen that light not shining at night when it should be, and it gives me shudders thinking of what that might represent.

I jump when my phone buzzes. Luke’s name flashes on my screen, and I smile to myself – right on time. I answer the phone and hold it to my ear, as my head rests against the wall behind me.

“Hey.” I speak softly.

“Hey.” He replies, and we’re met by a comfortable silence. Luke calls twice a day – once at 1:30am, when it’s 8:30am the day before for him, and once at 3:30pm, when it’s 10:30pm the night before for him. I never did understand time zones, but I’m starting to get used to them. We text every day, too, and sometimes we even have time for an extra phone-call.

“So, how’s LA?” I ask him.

“The same.” He answers, “How’s Australia?”

“The same.” I repeat, “But different without you.”

He sighs, “I know princess, I know. It’s different for me too. Calum says thanks for the birthday present by the way, he laughed his head off at the card.”

I smile, happy Cal liked his present. I bought him a book counting-down some of the greatest basslines in the history of music I’d found in a book shop one day and a mug calling him the greatest bass player ever. I had his card personalised with a funny, inside joke the two of us have going. I gave the present and card to Luke the day before they left for tour so he could pass it onto him.

“Did he have a good birthday?” I question, “The party looked insane. I wish I could have been there.”

“Yeah, the party was good,” Luke tells me, “It would have been better if you were there but, you were there in spirit. We all had a drink for you.”

It makes me smile that he still thinks of me even if he’s a million miles away and constantly doing fun stuff without me. I had worried he would forget about me; leave me behind, but he hasn’t – even further confirmation that nothing has changed between us.

We’re silent again. It’s not that we have nothing to say to each other – we both have so much to say to each other – but we’re almost desperate to avoid the elephant in the room (or, you know, over the phone-line) because neither of us wants the other to be upset or feel bad for not being with the other.

“What are you up to, then?” I persevere – I am, after all, interested in his tour shenanigans. I want to know everything – even the smaller details that seem unimportant. I feel like knowing what he’s doing right this second, what he’ll be doing once we hang up, what he’ll be doing in between now and our next phone-call…will help me feel closer to him; I’ll feel like an insider again and not someone waiting helplessly on the outside.

“Talking to you, of course.” He responds in a joke-like manner.

I roll my eyes, which seems stupid when he’s not here to see it, “No, I meant like, whilst you’re talking to me. Are you eating breakfast? Are the other guys with you? That sort of thing, silly.”

For the first time this conversation, he laughs. It’s not a ‘that’s so hilarious’ laugh, but it’s a laugh all-the-same. Any sort of laugh the two of us can get out of each other seems like an accomplishment, so it makes me feel good that I was the first one to get a laugh out of one of us.

“I’m actually taking a piss.” He tells me, and I can tell in his voice that he’s smiling.

Now it’s my turn to laugh. I don’t know whether I laugh because it’s funny to think of him pissing whilst talking to me on the phone or if it’s because – and this is really bizarre – it’s the kind of content I was hoping for. Him, doing something normal; doing something he would do at home. It’s oddly comforting.

“Are you actually?” I shriek, before slapping a hand over my mouth in fear I might have woke my parents up by mistake.

“Yeah, hang on a sec…” He laughs, before my ear is met by the sound of a running liquid. He returns to the phone a few seconds later, “Told ya!”

I twist my face, “Urgh, how do I know that you didn’t just run the kitchen tap?”

He sighs exasperatedly, “Is this your way of asking for a picture? ‘Cause baby, that’s not how you do it.”

I roll my eyes again, though I’m secretly glad we’ve gone from those awkward few seconds of not knowing whether we should be mentioning the elephant in the room or not to speaking the same way we would if we were together in person.

“No, I’m smoother than that, Hemmings, and you know it!” I giggle back to him, happily.

He goes silent, which takes me by surprise – usually, I’m the one who goes silent and he’s the one having to pick the conversation back up – and it causes me to freeze. I wait a few moments to see if he’s going to say something, and just as I’m about to ask if he’s still there, he speaks up.

“Fuck, I miss you.”

I feel a lump in my throat, but I swallow it back. I promised myself I would never let him see (or, you know, hear) me cry whilst he was away, because I didn’t want him to feel guilty about having to leave me.

“I miss that little giggle of yours. I bet you’re blushing too, huh?” He continues.

My cheeks do feel a little warm. I nod, forgetting that he’s not here to see me. I think the silence that responds to him gives him the answer he needs.

“I miss how shy you get around me sometimes, even though we’ve been together for a year. I’ve never had this with a girl before. It’s like we’re still in our honeymoon-phase, you know? I’m not sure I ever left the honeymoon-phase; I’m not sure I want to leave the honeymoon-phase.”

Silent tears fall down my cheeks. I cry in-spite-of myself, but I still don’t want Luke to know. I brush the tears away individually.

“You know, the city light across the road from me has gone out.” I say, trying desperately to change the subject, “Maybe I should get in touch with the council to see if they can come out and fix it. You know what I’m like about that city light.”

He doesn’t reply straight away. I hear him take a deep breath, and that’s when I realise – he’s been crying too. That only makes me want to cry more.

“Yeah, um, my mum has the number for the council if you want. You still go to hers for dinner on a Tuesday?” He finally answers.

I nod, “Yeah. Every week.”

“Well, maybe you can ask for the number then? Or, you know, find it for yourself.” He suggests, his voice still shaky, as if he could burst out into tears any second now.

We revert to silence. Both of us wanting to acknowledge how much we miss each other, but neither of us being brave enough to risk upsetting the other. I’ve never needed to tell him I love him more, but I’ve never needed him to be happy more either.

“I wish…” He begins, taking a moment, “I wish I was beside you.”

“Luke…” I say, softly but firmly, “Don’t do this.”

“But it’s true.” He responds, matter-of-factly, “You know…I told you this would be the hardest thing we’d ever have to do, but I said that in the hopes we’d prove ourselves wrong. We haven’t. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but…knowing that we live under the same sky and watched over by the same sun, and that that never changes…it gives me hope that everything else will stay the same, too. So, no matter how hard this is, we both know that we’ll still be the same on the other side of it. You’ll still be the same; I’ll still be the same; you’ll be there when I get back; and I will be coming back to you. If I can promise anything to you, it’s that I’ll be coming back to you.”

I can’t hide the tears anymore. They come out with every sob and every sniff. Now he knows for sure how heartbroken I am that he’s not beside me anymore.

“And I promise to be here ready for you coming home to me.” I tell him, “I’m not going anywhere, Luke.”

“Six months.” He says, “Six months, and we’ll be back in each other’s arms. It seems like a long time on paper, but it’ll fly by.”

“It’s so close…but so far away.” I sob, wiping away my tears with the sleeve of the silk dressing gown my grandmother got me for Christmas.

“Exactly.” He agrees, “But it’s nothing we can’t handle.”

I nod my head in silent agreement. If we’ve made it this far, we can make it even farther. I’m sure of it; he’s sure of it; we’re both sure of it. We both enter another silence – this one filled with an uncertainty I don’t like the feeling of – and all that can be heard is each other sniffing and taking deep breaths.

“Did you find the package I left you?” He suddenly says.

I furrow my eyebrows, “No? What package?”

“The one I left in your wardrobe?” He replies, with a small hint of amusement in his voice, “I can’t believe you haven’t found it yet. Anyway, it has a bunch of my clothes in it. Hoodies and stuff. I thought they’d make it easier for you when you’re missing me. They’re all sprayed with my favourite cologne.”

I smile widely, for the first time this conversation, “I can’t believe I didn’t notice it either!”

I step off the sofa next to my window, and walk over to my small walk-in wardrobe, opening the door and peering inside. There, tucked away in the corner, is a cardboard box I hadn’t noticed before. It surprises me I hadn’t noticed it, but then again, I never really pay much attention to what’s in my wardrobe when I’m just grabbing something to throw on.

“Luke, I don’t know what to say. Thank you, and…I’m sorry I didn’t notice it earlier.” I apologise, dragging the box out of my wardrobe and into my bedroom,

“Why didn’t you say anything? It’s been three weeks!”

Luke laughs – and I’m relieved that we seem to be over the tears now – “I wanted it to be a surprise, for you to find it and then tell me over the phone. I was starting to get worried that I had only dreamt I’d left it there!”

I roll my eyes, “You should have said something!”

He continues to laugh, “I’m sorry!”

Once again, we’re left in silence – but, this time, it’s a happier silence, like we’re both so happy with each other that nothing needs to be said. I suddenly hear movement and voices on the other end of the line, and I get the idea of what’s coming next. My shoulders droop as I stand alone in my bedroom.

“I have to go,” Luke mutters, and I can tell he feels as sad about it as I do, “That was Ashton…the car’s here to take us to the venue ready for soundcheck.”

I nod understandingly to myself, “Sure. You better get going, I wouldn’t want you to be late.”

“No, neither would I.” He agrees, “Our tour manager can get quite scary when he gets all disappointed on us.”

I burst out laughing, and he laughs too. We always try to end our phone-calls on a positive note, so we’re not leaving each other crying – even though I end up crying once the phone-call has ended anyway.

“Well, I’ll talk to you later.” I tell him, softly.

“Yeah.” He agrees, “I’ll talk to you later.”

We say our good-byes, subconsciously trying to make them last as-long-as we can so we get to hear each other’s voices for just that little bit longer, and hang up. I place my phone on top of my desk behind me, and move around the box so I can sit down on my bed. I sigh to myself, rubbing my forehead, before bending over to open the box.

The first thing I see is a soft-toy penguin which I bought him as a joke for his birthday last year. He kept it on his shelf in his bedroom. Then was a pile of his clothes – mostly hoodies and T-Shirts. I found my favourite T-Shirt of his – black, with white sleeves that had black stars going down them that he had worn for the Summertime Ball in London a few years ago – and a grey hoodie I haven’t seen him wear since we were back at school. Just like he said, they all smell of his favourite cologne – another one of my birthday gifts for him.

I strip off my dressing gown and my pyjamas, before changing into his T-shirt and hoodie, and climbing into bed. I lie on my side, and hug into myself. If this is as close as I’m going to get to hugging Luke over the next six months, then I’m going to do it. And when the clothes no longer smell of his favourite cologne, I’ll go out and buy another bottle of it, just so I can smell him again. Tears fall from my eyes again, but this time I don’t wipe them away. Luke isn’t here to see me cry and he isn’t on the phone to hear me cry either, so nothing can hold me back from sobbing myself to sleep.

And as I lay here, crying, I wonder…

Does he think of me as much as I think of him?

                                                                                 CHAPTER THREE >>

Nathan Riggs Imagine

Nathan Riggs Imagine
1733 Words
Suggestions: Song Shot!
Song: Bad Things By Machine Gun Kelly
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Bad Things, Nor Grey’s Anatomy, nor YOU! Remember that please.

Originally posted by icamehereforthefries

Am I out of my head?
Am I out of my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don’t think that I can explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated
No matter what you say
Don’t matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can’t explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated

You sighed, watching Nathan run down to the E.R. in a hurry. 3rd time this week he’s stood you up. You didn’t know why, but hey, some part of you liked it. You were around him a lot, not to mention that you see him at home too. It’s been forever. You both do things together that can’t be explained. You think you both have something complicated.

Nothing’s that bad, if it feels good
So you come back, like I knew you would
And we’re both wild, and the night’s young
And your mind drunk, breathe you in ‘til my face numb
Drop it down like that bass drum, I got what you dream of
Nails scratch on my back tatt
I suppose when you scream out and you kick me in with those hips
While my teeth sink into those lips
While your body’s giving me like and you’re suffocating my kiss
Then you said

You both can get pretty heated when you’re alone together, so you both rely on someone being there or else it’ll get pretty messy. Your love was getting sickening. You both were awful, but hey, you stay together for the perks. Someone told you that you should break it off, just for a bit, and if you both love each other after a while, then you both deserve to be with each other. You decided to give it a shot. 1 Month. If he’s moved on from you, then you’ll have to move on too. If not, then yeah, you deserve to be together.

I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body so I can take you wherever
I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body so I can look at you whenever

At the start of the break, you felt like you were withdrawn from your addiction to Nathan. It hurt, and people knew it hurt.

“(Y/n),” Alex’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

You were doing something weird, which was writing/ drawing on your arm.

“Huh,” You asked, looking at him.

“You were out of it, should you go home?”

“No, I’m fine. I have to occupy myself with other things to keep myself focused sometimes.”

Oh, that was a lie, and he knew it. He knew the real reason, you just didn’t want to say it. The withdrawal. Oh, Alex was going to help you, he might as well get half the damn hospital to help you.

Nathan on the other hand, was starting to twitch a bit, slowly getting needy while you were just out of it for a good time. Owen noticed this, still despite some sort of distaste to him, he cared a little bit.

“What’s wrong,” He asked.

“N-Nothing, nothing,” Nathan cleared his throat.

“Something’s wrong.”

“It’s been a week.”

“A week? Since what?”

“Since (Y/n) and I started taking this break. I can’t stop twitching every time I think of her. The only time that this doesn’t happen is in the E.R. and in the O.R.”

Owen nodded. Nathan was pretty serious about you, and it was unhealthy, but hey, people do what they do.

“Then we’ll keep you in the E.R. and O.R. You’ll focus and stop twitching.”

“I wonder how she’s doing. No one told me how she’s doing so I can only assume. Heh.”

Am I out of my head?
Am I out of my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don’t think that I can explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated
No matter what you say
Don’t matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can’t explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated

You were taking care of babies when Jo ran in. She was on your service today.

“There’s a massive trauma and there’s a pregnant woman involved,” She said.

You nodded and stepped out.

“Alright, go get the Ultrasound, now. I will meet you down there, understood?”

“Yes ma’am.”

2 Weeks, since you’ve called the break. You were getting better, but maybe you were getting worse too. You got concerned sometimes, when you got home alone. Then you realize you were staying at Meredith’s, per her request as you needed some time to think this through. She’d help you, because she’s been through something like it in the past. Her words were encouraging, but not enough.

I can’t explain it, I love the pain
And I love the way that your breath reminds me of novacaine and we are
Always high, keep it strange
Okay yeah I’m insane, but you the same
Let me paint the picture, counting by the kitchen
Nothing but your heels on, losing our religion
You’re my pretty little fiction, and I’m the voice inside your head
That keeps telling you to listen to all the bad things I say and you said

You got down to the E.R. and worked your magic. Jo came down with the Ultrasound as you got it set. You checked for the baby and stared.

“Dr. (L/n), we need to get a move on,” Owen told you.

“I’m trying to see if the baby is moving,” You muttered.


“And if she survives and there is no baby, this woman would kill herself because she allowed it to happen! Now, if I can hear the baby’s heartbeat, then you can go in, because then I would have to take the baby out by C-Section, so you can do your work. Hmm? Are we clear?”

The room fell silent.

“Thank you.”

Nathan ran in and saw you. You were too busy concentrating, and when you heard a loud heartbeat, you sighed with relief.

“Alright, Wilson, you’re scrubbing in. You’re helping me deliver this baby.”

You ran out with the others going into surgery.

I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body so I can take you wherever
I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body so I can look at you whenever

Nathan saw you look like a powerhouse of beauty. How could he leave you for someone else? You were smart. You were kind. You were commanding. You were strict. These things made him fall faster for you than they did the first time. So again, why would he leave you for someone else?

Am I out of my head?
Am I out of my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don’t think that I can explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated
No matter what you say
Don’t matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can’t explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated

3 Weeks. Nathan was getting back to ordinary life in a sense. He was trying to get out of his old habits, but they don’t die hard. Nothing does anymore. He was still addicted to you, and he let that happen. He wished to see you all the time, so he could just look at you and hold you in his arms.

“Alex, when are you going to confess your feelings to Jo,” You have him a sly smirk, snickering at his flustered actions.

“Never, because I’m not screwing myself out of everything good,” He rolled his eyes.

“C’mon. You like her. Admit it.”

“I don’t.”



“Say it. I want you to.”

“Then say you can’t live without Riggs.”

You fell silent to his statement. You looked down.

“…Damnit… Damnit, damnit, DAMNIT!”

You rubbed your face. Oh, it was a sensitive topic, but you forgot him so long ago, you were sure that it wasn’t a thing anymore. He might’ve forgotten about you too. You looked at Alex.

“…I can’t, but I also can, because I just now remembered the break,” You shrugged.

Alex smirked. He got you cornered.

“How long has it been,” he asked.

“3 weeks I think.”

“So one more week?”


“Good luck.”

“Good luck on confessing to Jo. You have to at some point.”

The way we love, is so unique
And when we touch, I’m shivering
And no one has to get it
Just you and me
Cause we’re just living
Between the sheets

4 weeks. Finally, It’s over. When will you both see each other? You didn’t know. You were just hoping you would make it through the day without running and jumping on him… You hoped.

Nathan took a deep breath.

“Today’s the day huh,” Owen asked.

“Yeah,” Nathan nodded.

“When will you see her?”

“After surgery.”

“Sounds good.”

“I hope it does.”

Oh, he hopes it does.

I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body so I can take you wherever
I want you forever
Even when we’re not together
Scars on my body so I can look at you whenever

You were in the hall when you looked up. Both you and Nathan locked eyes with each other. He stared directly at you. You grew nervous. He looked better. Did he forget about you?

‘She looks to perfect, just… so perfect,’ Nathan thought.

Am I out of my head?
Am I out of my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don’t think that I can explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated
No matter what you say
Don’t matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can’t explain it
What can I say, it’s complicated

You both walked up to each other.

“Hi,” You nodded.

“Hey,” He sighed.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. You?”


You nodded again.

“Did anything interesting in the past month?”

“…No… Did you?”

“Nothing really,” He shook his head.

You nodded once more. Nathan leaned down and planted a kiss on your cheek.

“I missed you,” He whispered.

Tears weld up in your eyes.

“I missed you too.”

House Spirit Game

So I have a lot of spirits coming and going in my house, my family has a knack of attracting spirits. Generally harmless but things do go missing. To keep them occupied I’ve found a game that everyone loves, including myself!

some sort of small offering (a candle or incense, just to get their attention)

A jar, cup, or tin. Anything to hold change. A piggy bank is perfect

Call the attention of the spirits in your house, friends and strangers. My wards keep out anyone who does harm so I don’t have any real issues and call everyone who’s in the house.

The game is simple, every coin I find in my room (not including my own change like tips. For me it only counts if I find it in my house, and purses are not included) is put in the tin. When the tin is full I use the money to buy a treat for the spirits. In order to play they can’t take my things or break my rules, and no fighting. They also must listen to me and even help me if I ask, but I usually don’t ask the strangers for anything. It’s a just in case thing.

My spirit family as well as any strangers passing by are allowed to play if they wish. They can bring coins to my attention, and I put them in the tin. I started this game two days ago and I’ve found over 3 dollars just in my room so far, on the floor, desk, anywhere. I clean my room all the time, this change wasn’t there before.

Have fun!
~Mod Wind

infj rambling #14

there are days where i feel like an immense burden to the people in my life. for the past week or two ive been feeling this so much. asking people to do things feels scary all the time now. even asking my coworkers to get pizza after work was difficult. and they didnt get pizza with me. asking my best friend to do things like go to a dog parade or corgi racing over the week only to hear that he didnt want to. but we sure did what he had in mind. which was fucking stupid. during this bad time ive been trying to keep myself occupied and distracted, but its proven difficult to do when no one will go anywhere with me. the point of asking people to do something is so im not alone with my thoughts. eventually the bad thoughts go away right?

Shape of You - XVI

I am so sorry I have been to bad at updating this story, but here is the next instalment. I hope you all forgive my poor uploading schedule and enjoy this chapter - I think there will only be two or three more after this as the story is coming to and end. Thank you to all those who sent messages asking for updates and expressing your interest in this series, it encouraged me to get over my writers blog and finish telling this story, so this chapter is for all of you! 💕💕💕💕💕

Previously… Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14

Amelia’s POV

The gentle breeze that caressed my skin gently pulled me back to consciousness and encouraged me to open my eyes. I couldn’t remember putting myself to bed by here I am, tucked up in one of the on-call room beds. It’s the same on-call room I had confronted Owen in, Owen, where was he? Had he been the one to put me to bed. As I turned over to look for my phone and lab coat I noticed a salad box, bottle of water and a cereal bar on the small table next to the bed I was lying on, all items which I do not remember being there when talking to Owen. Then I saw it, a note, delicately balanced between the bottle of water and the salad box, a piece of paper neatly folded in half which had my name scribbled across one side, indicating to it was addressed to. I’m not too sure why but my hands were trembling a little as I unfolded the note and focused my eyes on the messy scrawl,

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anonymous asked:

As much as people joke about fidget spinners and cubes... They're sincerely helpful. I suffer from a thing (I forget the term; it was OCD related) where I pick at my skin and scalp. Its absolutely horrible and I can't help myself from doing it if my hands aren't occupied... So having a fidget toy just... It keeps me healthy man. Sure, be aware of your surroundings and make as little noise as you can with them in public (spinners whir), but they are really, truly helpful.

I haven’t really seen people joke about the cubes, just the spinners. And based on what I’ve heard from other neurodivergent people the cubes are better anyway. But yeah, fidgeting is even just a natural part of human existence, so I don’t think it’s much of a stretch that people with mental conditions that would cause them to fidget or become more easily distracted than others would benefit greatly from an item that lets one fidget easily.

Bored of Me (REQUEST)

Sitting on the couch, I channel surfed as I struggled to keep my eyes open. Another boring Friday night by myself whilst Justin was occupied by other things.

Clicking on Catfish, my screen showed Nev and Max sat infront of their computer.

I yawned and pulled my blanket closer to me, I felt somewhat jealous of whoever hung around with Justin. It’s not that we didn’t do stuff together, because we did, but at times I feel like he has more fun with everyone else.

As if on cue, the front door opened and closed. “I’m home!” He called, I heard him set his keys down on the countertop and I turned my attention to the doorway, waiting for him to enter.

“Hey, why are you sat in the dark?” He asked, chuckling lightly before switching on a lamp.

“I’m a vampire, duh.” I joked, sitting up.

Leaning down to kiss me, I gladly embraced him before Justin pulled away and sat beside me, pulling my body towards him.

“Did you have fun tonight?” I asked.

“Yeah, it was cool. It was good to catch up with Hails and Jayde.” Justin replied.

Feeling myself grow slightly jealous, I released myself from his hold and sat up, “That’s nice.”

My voice came of harsh and cold, it wasn’t really intentional, but at the same time I had to tell him how I felt eventually.

“O-kay? Did I say something?” He asked, puzzled. Picking at my chipped nail varnish, I didn’t respond.

“(Y/N), what did I do?”

“It’s not what you did…”

He stayed quiet for a moment, trying to piece things together. “Are you talking about Hailey and Jayde? What did they do?”

“It’s not anybody’s doing, Justin!” I exclaimed, “I-i just… I just feel like when you’re with them you have so much fun and then you come back to me – I feel like you’re gonna get bored of me and leave me for one of them.”

I hated being petty, but it had been building for so long that I had to express how I felt. Honesty is the best policy, right?

“I mean, they’re both gorgeous and fu–”

“(Y/N), shut up.” He laughed, “I’ll never get bored of you.”

“Are you sure? I mea–”

“Listen to me. I think that you are more beautiful than both of them, you make me the happiest guy on earth and I don’t like you comparing yourself to them, because in my eyes you’re perfect.”

Running out of words to say, I pulled him into a hug, “I love you.”

geekybones  asked:

Tips for severe DPDR interfering with school? It is next to impossible for me to do things like get motivated to do homework or even go to class because none of it feels real and therefore I can't make myself genuinely care or even worry about it.

I’m sorry this is so late hopefully it can help you with the upcoming semester >>

  • The first step is to ground yourself, after you do that you need to wake up a little. Drink something cold and keep it by you while you work.
  • Light a candle so that your senses don’t drift.
  • Listen to some music and keep your mind occupied so that you won’t get distracted.
  • Set a goal, like “I will finish my english before 5:00″. One subject at a time, I suggest.
  • Download Forest, an app that grows trees if you don’t touch your phone.

I’m sorry I made you wait so long for a short post, but this is pretty solid advice from someone who’s been going through college with dpdr

It Always Ends In a Fight (Bucky Barnes x reader)

Request: franz-irrelevant-opinion said:HI ! I wanted to ask you if you could write a Bucky angst/fluff were the reader is a doctor in the Avengers tower and she has being seeing Buck and she gets pregnant and everything is going fine until Buck goes on a mission and Steve only calls saying two of the team are seriously injured and she’s afraid it will be Buck (it’s up to you to decide if he is or not) and she and Banner start preparing everything for the arrival of the team but she starts bleeding due to stress, it’s up to your the end. If you do my request can you tag me? Thank you so much!

We’ve got two down, we’re ten minutes out.

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A/N: Ho boy is this one of my fav parts (at least one of the ones i’ve written so far) and you’ll see why! Lot’s of shit happens and I feel like some of it is OOC for Kylo but it fits what’s going on so (trust)…enjoy!

Word Count: 5K+

Warning: Profanity/Mentions of death

There was something about the still atmosphere that made you feel so at ease. Most of the time, staying locked up in your living quarters wasn’t something you’d normally do, seeing as staying alone with your own mind was toxic…but now that you had something less harmful than bringing yourself down, you couldn’t help but want to be in your room all day if that meant talking to Kylo. So this is what I’ve succumbed to? You still were persistent on keeping the feelings for him to a minimum, or at least on the down low as you didn’t want to give it too much attention, but with how lighthearted these small conversations made you feel, it was difficult not to pay them any mind. “As the captain of the Resistance, how is it possible that you have free time?” Kylo curiously asked as the hologram lit up in front of you in its blue glory.

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Not sure if it’s just my winter blues are kicking in, but I feel so dissatisfied about everything I do and just… life in general at the moment. I know I should feel grateful about a lot of things…this year has been filled with so many great achievements and experiences in my personal life… yet I feel kind of empty inside.

(long post ahead)

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