things i am organizing my thoughts on

160816 Suga’s FC Post//Trans

The thing with music is that it comes easy then becomes really hard then comes easy again / sometimes (I) sit there for dozens of days and nothing comes out and other times (I’m) there for only ten minutes and music comes out / hmm (I’ve) been making music for 11years now and it’s still hard haha like life

Turns out I started making music since I was 13

During this long journey I think I was able to take time to organize my thoughts on who the person ‘me’ is / although I was able to organize my thoughts on who I am, I’m not going to tell

Of my beats, I chose only the aces to work with / I had saved them for Bangtan’s album but well…I think I’ll be able to make better music anyways :) / I’ll be doing music for much longer than I have been so far *laugh*

I spent close to half my life making music, you’d think it’d get tiring but while living my 24years there hasn’t been anything else I’ve been as passionate for / since my personality is impatient anytime I started something new it never lasted :)

I’ve always wanted to be the best to someone

That’s why I was restless and anxious while comparing myself to others, not being satisfied (with my work), being greedy, thinking, being sad…

Greed which was a weapon sometimes turned into anger

While working on this mixtape, (I) went back to my 13 year old self and saw a memory stuck in the corner of my mind / When I first started making music, rather than someone who is the best at making music, I wanted to make music that would give comfort and emotions to someone.

I think this work has been work that brought me comfort

Why does this young guy have so much resentment

The guy of expectations was always so far from me so there were many times when I clenched my jaw* / due to that I was always able to show you beyond expectation

What a relief :)

I don’t really like interpreting and explaining songs

Music isn’t the creator’s but the listener’s

That’s why during my album reviews I don’t explain the song or the lyrics but I focus on the process in making the songs / Even if I were to explain, it’s not something that really can be understood / Interpretation is solely on the listener

Chew it out, tear it apart, taste it, enjoy it to your heart’s content

While doing this work I felt like I was going back and forth between heaven and hell multiples times a day / Sometimes I’d feel great about something and then get scared about messing it up / sometimes I’d feel ah this is enough and then feel a bit of regret / It felt quite different from what I felt (while doing) Bangtan’s album / I started this while going around on tour and it was crazy but while working on the second half I’m thankful I had some breathing room because the bighit family helped.

Thank you to Yankie hyung and Suran nuna who helped without hesitation with just one phone call even though it’s not even an official album and just a mixtape :)

Will be together with you at your creation and at the end of your life
Wherever you are, will welcome you
In the end, at the end of adversity, will be in full bloom
Though the start may be humble, the end will be prosperous
*lyrics from so far away feat. suran*

(trans cr. Joyce @bts-trans)

Min Yoongi is most definitely a genius

Trans by @bangtoori​ 

@keyboardwizard here is Pete and Roger fighting over concept albums! This is how I imagine the argument would go haha! (I ran out of paper) •Waters: “Pinball wizards? Apocalyptic Woodstocks? Schizophrenic Mods? What were you smoking man!? I thought my band was supposed to be the drugged out nonsensical one!” •Townshend: “Ooooo look at me I’m Roger Waters! I’m so angsty and depressed all the bloody time! Ooo look how dark and political I am! At least my sociopolitical commentaries are more subtle and clever!” •Waters: “Yes, because the first thing that comes to mind when I hear an album about a deaf dumb and blind boy, who is inexplicably good at pinball - is the hypocrisy of organized religion.” •Townshend: “Oh would you rather me cram it down your throat 515,000 times?? When are you going to stop bitching about your crazy band mate, mummy issues and the government!? Talk about beating a dead horse man!” Hope you liked it!

UPDATES! Please read if you have a moment to spare! 💙

Hello everyone! How’s your week been? Hopefully it was good! Mine’s been super stressful and full of exams (rip me), but has also been full of some pretty amazing things! 

First things first. *drum roll* WE HIT 3,000 FOLLOWERS!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! I am so so so thankful for each and every one of you! I never thought that I would hit 100 followers, nevertheless three frickin’ thousand. I’m freaking out so much, this is amazing! Thank you all for following and supporting me, I really appreciate it. This blog would be nothing without your constant support and requests. I love you all!

Secondly, I’ve updated my fic master list page! It’s way, way, way more organized and much easier to navigate! I worked really hard on it, so I’d love it if you checked it out! It’s also a really easy way to keep up with every new fic rec I add and easy way to find a list you forgot to save! You can find it here and at

Thirdly, I’ve been getting a lot of asks recently asking me if they can send in recommendations to me. The answer is always yes! Even though fic requests are still closed, (I just made it under the 100 mark, I’m at 94 currently. I’ll try to finish 4 more by the end of the night to post tomorrow to get me back down to 90. I’ll open requests again when I hit 50, which will hopefully be done by the end of the month. I’m working as hard and as fast as I can for you guys, I swear!) you can still send me recommendations for Fan Rec Friday!

Election thoughts: I am a communist, I stand in the tradition of my comrades before me who have died in the millions fighting fascism, I am not scared. 4 things:
1. Protect all those who are scared, hurt or feeling like they don’t know what’s next;
2. Especially protect, Black, Muslim, Latinx, Women, Queer and Trans people;
3. Trump is a paper tiger and will fall;
4. The masses are heroic, we make history not presidents, now is the time–let’s get active.
—  Dhruv Mazumdar via Facebook
a hail of bullets
  • Danny’s playing online with a friend who used to live here and moved to Los Angeles. Cool! Technology enables staying in touch with old friends! How sweet! 
  • Except his (seventh grade) buddy’s PSN handle is TheToastyOne420. So.
  • We live in a time where I can download a software-modeled Farfisa Compact (think “Wooly Bully” or early Pink Floyd organ sounds) for goddamn free. We should really rethink scorching the planet.
  • I’m going to start journaling some of my thoughts and fears and visions of how the meltdown is going to happen. I see several endgames, but I’m having a hard time connecting the lines from here to there, and I am hoping that by trying, and maybe failing, I can talk myself out of some of the worst scenarios. 
  • My primary Christmas gift is a thing that is illegal to use, but in a way the feds have mostly overlooked. I want to share the process of building and using it because it looks like big fun, but that seems needlessly risky. I doubt the new regime will care a lot, and I know the locals don’t, but either way it seems unwise to say or show much. Frustrating. You can come over for a tasting party later.
  • I am struggling with the future tense. I feel like any invocation of time beyond a few weeks out now requires a disclaimer. As I’ve noted before, this has always been true—none of us are guaranteed another year, month, minute. But it’s qualitatively different now. It just is.
  • In Galápagos Vonnegut denoted any character who would die before sunset with an asterisk. How excellent was he? I think I’ll borrow/modify that idea, and henceforth any writing I do about the non-immediate future will be prefaced with a superscript ⁺ which can be read to mean “assuming we aren’t all dead or digging under the radioactive topsoil for live grubs to eat by then.”
  • Can anyone guess what happens to a nearly 50-year-old body when it goes from running 15-20 miles per week to 0? During the holidays? While drinking heavily to quell the apocalyptic visions?
  • Here’s the good news: I find that when meditating and being deeply aware of my breathing, I can feel my belly moving against my shirt, or resting on the tops of my thighs. How Buddha of me. How awake.

When posed with the question, “What do you dislike most about yourself?” I paused for a moment, just long enough to organize my thoughts, and wrote down the words, “Nothing. I love myself.” This question is one that seems to come up often, in something as cliche as personality quizzes and in something as casual as conversations with new friends. It’s supposed to be something easy to answer. I’m supposed to hand over a piece of myself to someone else with a note that says, “This is the worst part of me.” I’m supposed to brace myself for their agreements when they say, “I understand, maybe you could work on that,” or let my guard down, let them walk right in, when they say, “No, I love that part about you!” I’m supposed to carefully package my insecurities and seal them with modesty, delivering them like presents on Christmas morning. I’m supposed to give a simple answer, to which they will give a simple response, and we will all move on.

But I don’t.

The response is always the same. A lighthearted chuckle, a smile that doesn’t quite reach their eyes, a look that says, “That’s cute,” or “You’re kidding, right?” A high-five, a pat on the back, a fist bump. And then, “No, but seriously.”

How do I say, in the most serious way, that I am serious?

I do not want to stand in front of a mirror and pick myself apart to appease others. I will not go looking in the lost and found, searching for pieces of myself that I misplaced during math class. There’s a deeply rooted assumption that every teenage girl eagerly waits in line, ready to pull out a long list of problems with herself at the snap of a finger. My list has been in the landfill for awhile now, I try to explain, but no one ever believes me when I assure them that I crumpled it up and threw it into the trashcan years ago. Every compliment from someone else is supposed to be a chance for me to jump through hoops for more, to beg for praise, or to deny their kind words.

And it seems that everytime I say I love myself, I hear an anthem playing in the background with demeaning lyrics disguised as constructive criticism. Maybe this is why I do not say the pledge of allegiance.

I will romanticize myself, like I’m the protagonist every character is falling in love with, or the the muse of a poet’s greatest piece. I will describe my own smile as sunshine on a cloudy day, brighter than the brightest star. I will explain my love for words, for reading them and writing them, with that prize-winning smile on my face and a list of all thirty-three books I’ve read so far this year. I will wear my rainbow bracelets and pride socks and imagine that I am Sappho reincarnated. I will belt out the wrong words to my favorite songs and laugh when I am corrected. I will not shy away from all the amazing truths about myself.

It is always met with resistance. Words not necessarily meant out of malice are tossed at me like darts at a target, with incredible precision. Selfish, narcissistic, conceited, full of yourself, arrogant, overconfident. I love to pose for pictures, to smile in my own phone’s camera, to say, “Wow, I look nice today.” I’ll try on mountains of clothes until I find what’s just right, but the elevator music with tales of modesty as its chorus is a little too much for the background. When did loving my body become the same as disrespecting it?

There is nothing I dislike most about myself. I could always amend my original answer to be the way my cheeks are a little round, or the way I’ve always been subpar at science classes, or the way my hair looks when it rains. But those would be lies, and I love how I am honest with myself.

To those who accuse me of narcissism when I pause in front of a mirror: What is wrong with being in love with your own reflection? Shouldn’t you be happy to see yourself?

—  an essay i wrote for english class.

So this is my desk I spent way too long planning and organizing. It has all my favorite things like plants and Jungkook’s meme face(hi yes bts trash here). I am really excited to work here even though I still have a couple of things to add like a desk lamp and some accessories, but I’m proud of it cause my dearest mother made it for me all by herself! I used black tape cause I thought it’d be a look but idk how I feel about it…I also have on the wall next to my desk, of which there is a peek, I have the poster of every play or production i have ever been in so that’s pretty cool too!

anyway, desk complete !!

antis literally get so worked up over ships that they have bios about it, long posts screaming at children over the internet, and all this shit berating strangers, and then like…the actual shippers theyre yelling at are…actually just chill and lovin their ships… like maybe im not looking at all the possible blogs but sheith shippers just want cute shit too…

dont get so angry about something that does not affect you 

[Sept 14 2016] my college makes me feel like i’m at hogwarts. right now i am tidying up my planner, organizing my thoughts, and debating starting over on the 100 days of productivity challenge. what do you guys think?

ask me things here!

moonlitlarrie  asked:

Hi. :) Sorry to bother. With all the drama happening, I thought that we could organize a larry fan project based on lyrics written by Louis and/or Harry. I was a little inspired by Louis' quote about the honesty of his lyrics. I thought that reaching out to you could be helpful, because I don't really know how to organize the whole thing (I don't mind doing all the work, although I'd love to find some volunteers to help) and because I am the smallest blog here, so I don't have many followers.

i actually love this ! im currently talking about it with my sidekick to see how we can do this but we will let you know if we will or not ! - B

taracelica  asked:

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?


Yuki Kitabayashi

“Certainly. I was rather… fortunate in my life growing up as far as wealth and the like were concerned. My father was the head of our clan so our lives matched that. We were essentially a noble family.”
The Raen paused briefly to organize his thoughts. He wanted to word things carefully so that there was no misunderstandings. “As you can imagine, becoming a refugee in Eorzea would create a change in status. I no longer have wealth, land, or power. I may even be below the average citizen in Eorzea. However… I am okay with this. It is not the end of my life and my situation could be worse off. I am learning so much that I never would have in Othard.”

Disclaimer: I headcanon that Yuki comes from a mountain village that is not Doma, or any of the revealed settlements in Stormblood. It is nothing grand, mind you. I decided to bring my one of my favorite details about the Xaela and bring some of it over for Yuki. >>

aLSO SORRY FOR HE SUPER LATE REPLY @taracelica - Thank you for the ask, though! (I also hope I understood the question right)

All good, productive things

My exams are done!! Thankfully, they went how I thought they would and I am confident I did well– gonna celebrate with a nice run in the sun (thinking about training for a half marathon this spring) and some yoga (but also thinking about getting certified as a teacher), before getting organized for some minor assignments I have due later this week. Currently working on a long form for the Daily regarding failed diversity and inclusion attempts on campus, as well as some readings, but it is all interesting, productive work; not the cramming I’ve been doing all weekend! Happy Monday lovelies~ what are your intentions for this week?

I joined looking for love, but no one lives near me so I’m cancelling. Before I do, I thought I’d capture the profile they had me fill out. It was kind of odd, how they organize the profile, but I might use some of this in the future somewhere else. 


My beard, my bald head, and my smile. I am very noticeable. People know when I am in a room. I sometimes wonder if my aura is radiant and huge. It’s impossible for me to hide-out. When I’m walking down the street people turn and look. So many times I’ve caught people taking pictures of me, and several have asked to take their picture with me.


The first things that came to my mind: Art, Life, My Children, People, Community, Books, Reading, Music, Movies, Kindness, Love.


I enjoy going out to eat. I enjoy watching DVDs. I like going to the Korean Spa and relaxing naked in the steam room. I like Sensory Deprivation Tanks; my longest time so far is four hours in one. I enjoy camping, hiking, nature walks. I identify as a nudist, so being naked on my leisure time is kinda fun. ;-) And I love water and swimming.


I’ve always been a long-term commitment kind of guy. We are all holy here. Blue-eyed Buddhist, Pisces, Performance Artist, Prince of the Universe, Friend. I’m a kind, smart, funny, bearded, chubby, single-father, with glasses. I have a sense of humor. I’m conscientious. I know how to hold a conversation. I’m also a bit of a homebody. You should message me if you love to laugh and smile, hug and kiss, hold each other, listen to each other, care for each other, and support each other. If you love to hold hands. If you’re willing to kiss in public. If you have love in your heart for all living creatures. Bonus points for the nerds!


Animation, Drama, Science Fiction


Avatar: The Last Airbender, Misadventures of Flapjack, Chowder, Family Guy, Bob’s Burgers, Twin Peaks, Mr. Robot, Sense8, The OA, Xena: Warrior Princess, Lost, Battlestar Galactica, Stranger Things, Twilight Zone, Star Trek, In Search Of


Contemporary Fiction, Fantasy / Sci-Fi, Nonfiction


Jonathan Carroll’s gift at writing books about magical realism, Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman series, Arthur C. Clarke’s Space Odyssey series, Books about aliens, angels, history, philosophy, science, and cosmic consciousness,


Drama, Science Fiction, Independent


The Fountain, Waking Life, Exorcist II: The Heretic, Altered States, The Last Temptation of Christ, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Logan’s Run, Planet of the Apes, The Black Hole, the TRON movies, The Matrix, Lord of the Rings, Excalibur, Donnie Darko, Airplane, The Big Lebowski, Blues Brothers, Moulin Rouge


Punk / Alternative, Pop / Rock, Other


David Bowie, Talking Heads, Peter Gabriel, Joy Division, Modest Mouse, Pink Floyd, New Order, Enya, Cloud Cult, The Polyphonic Spree, Sufjan Stevens, Moby, Arcade Fire, Bright Eyes, Sinead O'Connor, Bjork, Kitaro, Dead Can Dance, Sigur Rós, CocoRosie, Antony and the Johnsons, Cat Stevens, Donovan, Enigma


  1. My children and my family.
  2. Having a good job that provides a roof over my head and food on my plate.
  3. A community of friends who support and encourage me.


  1. Being a good friend
  2. Appreciating art and culture
  3. Leading by example


  • Kind
  • Intelligent
  • Warm
  • Creative


  1. My children
  2. Didn’t your mother ever teach you…
  3. the most important things in life are not things?
  4. I follow the Buddhist practice of non-attachment…
  5. and if you get that joke, bonus points for you!

And the pictures I uploaded:


I wanted to practice backgrounds and stuff, which I’m still like, not that good at at al lmao, but as usual I needed to make an entire thing out of it so here’s some Beasts and the creator of a three layered realm, mostly designed to trick gullible people, etc etc generic, “Spirit Is Bad And Tricks People Into Giving Them Things” trope lol… but details under the read more if interested

Keep reading

Five Things

Tagged by my girl @fireflyfish, and tagging anyone who wants in! Let’s spread some good thoughts. <3 

TAG You’re it! Once you get this you are invited to say 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, if you like, you can send this to 10 of your favorite followers (the original said “non-negotiable” but I say negotiation is welcome!) Spreading positivity <3

1. I worked hard over the years to become an organized person and I finally am, which has taken so much stress out of my day-to-day life.

2. I have full, thick eyelashes.

3. I can pick up languages quicker than most.

4. As a writer, I’ve learned I can create emotion in my readers through my writing.

5. I worked hard to develop the ability to tell people “No”, which took a very long time but has been so, so worth it.

I’ve finally articulated into words the following thought, “you will have different types of friendships with many friends, and that’s perfectly alright.” I’ve always known this in the back of my head but today as I hung out with an array of people I was noticing how differently we all act to one another. But this thought just made me grateful. Grateful for friends that just get me. That know me. That have put in the time and effort to learn who I am as a person. I am incredibly grateful and appreciative of them for doing that, and I hope I have done the same for them. I’m sure I have.
     Today was the big test day. Tonight was the return party for school, and instead of going out and getting wasted I organized my room, worked on my blogs, created my twitter, worked out, and just did things I genuinely love doing. I’m proud of myself. I’m enjoying writing these journals.

i dont know what to talk about anymore i guess i could talk about like, fuck that. when i talk i hate erasing things like i speak what i think. a period every here and there to separate my thoughts and organize them but yea. i mean i guess i could talk about how my friend group is filled with a bunch of stone cold souls including myself. like holy fuck can you fucking speak to me without emotions being called gay? what the actual fuck is the matter with people. i am speaking from my heart and when i try being mature its gay or its a joke and not taken seriously. like i get not all people get it but where is the love in people. never going to forget how one day i said something and fucking 2 people left from the groupchat after i said it. like why? bothers the living fuck out of me. like i want to punch a hole in one of my walls because the satisfactory of making a hole in a fucking wall is cool i guess. kid cudi does it so it must be cool. and lately i have been throwing up so much because i think that whenever i drink and i make myself throw up i can drink more so i am so comfortable with gagging myself its fucking gross. like remember those things doctors did as kids and even now for strep. like its like that. i wanna walk to my friend stephs house but if i wake him up at thus time it would be weird cause id be standing there but steph doesnt really talk much anymore hes been quiet. i had memories with him but we drifted. weird, but hey it happens right. and i need weed right now fuck im so bored im debating whether or not to post this because i am just ranting but like from earlier i have nothing against gay people its just it bothers me when people use gay as an insult you know? like its not cool let everyone be themselves. empathy right? whatever im intoxicated and i have school tomorrow so fuck that i hate school anyway. sometimes i wish i could just flip a desk and smack someone but like even me writing this probably has the government waiting to attack my ass because trump is president which is whack. i feel like im forgetting periods so period. and my god i took benadryl because i cant sleep and im like a fake wannabe insomniac so i like to not sleep and benadryl promotes drowsiness i guess so i took some and im just waiting. i want to facetime someone to like whisper till i sleep or like sing me something. i like singing i wish i could sing honestly. its so attractive. but god i dont know what to do with my life anymore. when i was younger i had ambitions and now its like yo where am i and im thinking about finishing highschool not giving a fuck and committing suicide because at the end of highschool i wont be going to a good school if i dont try and like there is no point. but thats fucked up. really want to delete this. ah im yawning. debating to keep typing or stop. my gosh i want to go outside and sleep looking at stars and bs whether i see the little or big dipper because i see a few stars but whatever. stars are underrated like most things in life. anyways my thumbs hurt so goodnight the endless abyss of the 0 people reading my tumblr. fuck you:)

  • the Neurotypicals: remember my ex girlfriend? what a psycho bitch, amiright? oh man, you're so random and crazy! i really need to organize my desk again, i'm just so OCD about it. my neighbor walks his cat sometimes, can you believe it? that guy is straight outta the looney bin! "gun control?" how about we just lock up those violent pyshcopaths instead? god, this thing i dislike is so retarded. sigh, my crush didn't like my status, i guess i'll go kill myself, lololol!! stop being lazy, sweetie :-) sometimes i have an intrustive thought unrelated to mental illnesses, since i don't have any, but because i am a human being and have a subconscious...o, be still my brooding insanity! grow up, you're just being a baby. can you believe that that homeless man is talking to himself? unbelievable. *posts b&w gifs of "tragically beautiful" self harm marks* did you hear about the kid who tried to kill themself last year? they so just did it for attention. you know, autism is related to vaccines and diet, Janet - you're not going to Whole Foods nearly enough. stressed, depressed, but well dressed! lol, potato taco waffleZ!! why did i say that?! o_0 i must have ADHD xD want to hear about my coma AU? all that worldbuilding was because protag was CrAzY all along!!! check out this scary costume! *pulls out a straight jacket with bloodstains*
  • mentally ill person: i have a mental illne -
  • the Neurotypicals: i am beyond uncomfortable

when I write a serious review, I’ll have proper spelling, grammar, capitalization, and other such things to go along with it, like proper word flow, varied sentences, and organized and coherent thoughts.  I’ll do my best to make it an actually entertaining piece of writing for the reader to read since I want others to enjoy my work and take my opinion seriously.

however any time i type like I am now it’s something that can be like discarded and thrown in the trash.  it ain’t worth it to argue over some stuff, you know?  so it’s best just to type colloquially and run with it