things happen a lot

Life Update

I don’t make these often and I’ll delete it in a bit but here’s what’s up:

Ever since last fall I’ve been putting about 1000% of my art juju into work, which I can’t share with anyone yet (SOON THOUGH.) During this time a lot of sad and upsetting things have happened in my life and I’ve been in a bad way. My energy for personal art pretty much dried up due to The Sadness.

Things are getting better but now I’m in the process of moving from the USA to New Zealand, which is even more complicated and stressful than you might expect. The art dry spell shall continue. (I found some sketches on my hard drive that I never posted, though. I will… do that.)

During the time of Terrible and Unrelenting Sadness, a small shred of happiness came along. I latched onto it with both hands and haven’t let go, like it’s my goddamned lifeline. That thing is Final Fantasy XV. It is simultaneously saving and ruining my life. I made a blog for my FFXV screenshots, which I have advertised before and certainly will again. It is @lokton. This has been my coping mechanism for the last few months. It gives me a low-key way of perpetuating my creative energy with a minimum amount of angst.

ok that’s all for now bye

tbqh tfp ended, and even w tfp being fake- TLD ended too on a very pro johnlock note, the fact that it didnt happen yet is absolutely fucked and also annoying of course but to me itd feel like giving up after there was no kiss in tab to feel this way now

Yesterday, I went to a doctors office with a client (I’m a social worker) and, of course, my service dog, in his bright purple, clearly marked vest. 

When we entered the lobby, the security guard at the front desk asked me for my dog’s ID. I explained to her that Pepper is my service dog and that there’s no such thing as a service dog ID. This happens to me a lot, so I keep the ADA website pulled up on my cellphone at all times. I pulled up the page and offered the phone to the lady. 

She declined to look at it and instead radioed for her supervisor, who very clearly over the radio told her that I was lying to her and not to let me into the building. At this point, my client was running late for her appointment, so she told me to just come on, we know our rights, what’re they going to do?
The guard at the desk told me that if I walked past the lobby into the building, she would call the police. I told my client to go on ahead while I got the situation sorted out and asked the guard to call her supervisor into the lobby so I could speak to him.

As soon as the supervisor arrived, he demanded to see my ID. I explained that it’s illegal to ask a service dog handler for an ID and again offered to show him my copy of the ADA. Rather than reading the law, the man shoved his face an inch from mine and told me to “shove the ADA where the sun don’t shine” because it’s policy to ask anyone with a dog for their dog’s ID.

I again tried to explain that the ADA is a federal law, which supersedes any policy his building may have, and he again got in my face, shouting that he would “supersede my ass out into the street” if I didn’t leave the building immediately. I told him I wouldn’t leave - remember, I’m here with my client - and he told the guard at the desk to call the police to have me arrested before storming off, shouting about feeling bad for my dog. 

I waited in the lobby for at least an hour, during which I was not offered a chair or allowed to sit on the floor (I was told it’s against building policy to let anyone sit in the lobby and made to stand). The police never came and, once my client returned and was ready to go, I was allowed to leave.

Today, Pepper and I went back to the building and, by virtue of being outstandingly stubborn, managed to annoy one of the three reticent guards who was refusing to speak to me into giving me the name of the security company. I then called the company from the lobby of the building and filed a complaint, recommending that they train all of their employees on the ADA and require sensitivity training. I also filed a complaint with the DOJ, because when I have two panic attacks at work and dissociate for several hours as a result of a grown-ass man threatening me an inch from my face, “sorry” doesn’t really cut it. 

The moral of this story is don’t ever, ever fuck with me. Because I will panic, and I will be sad, and I am small and physically weak and disabled… and I will still fuck. You. Up.


“Thank you guys for doing that. This is one of the coolest things that’s been happening on this tour, thanks to a lot of our friends in the fandom. It’s just incredible. I just want you guys to know something: you guys inspire me, you send me letters, you send me art that you make, gifts, poems that you’ve written, just stuff that are so inspiring to me. That’s all I wanted to do, to create. You guys are creating so much. You younger people especially, I want you to know, the more you create, the better you’re going to get and the more driven you’ll become and you’re going to change the world. Just understand that.” Brendon Urie, San Diego 3/26/2017

video by itsashluke


Sunrise: M-Mod will be better at explaining all this..

Mod: Alright, so back in the days, around 3-4 years ago, I used to have a deviantart account and I had made quite a good amount of friends there. I had met a really good friend there whom I had seen grow alongside me on dA, so at some point, simply for fun, we had decided to ship our OCs together. His Oc was a blue unicorn, and later on we decided to give them a child. They had gotten married and Sunrise then got pregnant, giving birth to Starry Dew. After that quite a lot of things happened, and I sadly eventually lost contact with my friend, and later on completely just left DeviantArt, and I haven’t talked to him since then, so I didn’t keep the ship going, but kept Starry since he said himself he’d rather I keep her if something were to happen.

Here’s a picture my friend drew back then. My OC was a little different, her cutie mark wasn’t the same and her hair was more simple. 

As for the changeling, well, that was my ex-boyfriend’s OC. His OC was a changeling that was often just staying in pony form, and well, since he WAS my boyfriend, we shipped our OCs together. (I didn’t have a “ponysona” at the time.) I had made this little story where Sunrise met him as he was in pony form, and he hid his true identity from her for a while until he realized he fell in love with her and had to be honest. Since she was deeply in love with him too, she didn’t really care if he was a changeling, she loved him just the way he was. But well, things didn’t turn out too well between my ex and I, so I had to stop this ship too since it wouldn’t have been right and it would only bring back bad memories from me if I had kept it going. 

This is one of the only pictures I have left of them. I drew this a couple of months ago, but not too long after that we sadly broke up.

Hope that answers your questions!

Thanks for asking, @iamyourdoubt !

cherokee rose

just got a comment on one of my twd posts about caryl.

“the writers of twd are assholes.”

okay, i got a question? why are they assholes? because they’re drawing it out? because seemingly nothing’s happened between them? but wait things have happened between them, a lot more between them than with daryl and someone else or carol and someone else. just think of all the stuff they’ve been through together and apart.

daryl was drawn to carol from the beginning. like he literally went from ‘you ain’t my problem, sophia wasn’t my problem’ to ‘hey, you good? come here.’ in like 5 seasons. that’s major character development compared to the crazy wears squirrels on his belt hardass guy we first met. and boy was he spot on. carol wasn’t his problem and neither was sophia but he made them his problem. his number one priority. no one made him look for sophia. he chose to on his own.

also let’s not forget that daryl was abused as a child by his dad AND brother. that’ll mess someone up, make them not want to get closer to people. also, look how many people … friends and family … he lost? had to watch die and he couldn’t stop it? beth. that doctor lady from alexandria. he also had to kill his own brother. that’ll mess someone up too, especially because daryl felt like it was his responsibility to protect these people and keep them alive. but that’s such a heavy burden to carry and you know what? he’s STILL protective of carol and he STILL says yes ma'am and he STILL will put her needs before his own despite all of the pain he feels and deaths he’s witnessed. i haven’t seen season 7 yet but i saw one quote here on this amazing site from it. our crossbow king said it and it was about no one else other than carol. ‘she dies, catches a fever, gets taken out by a walker, she gets hit by lightning, anything, if anything happens to her, i’ll kill you.’ i haven’t heard him say anything remotely similar to that about anyone else.

let’s look at carol now. when we met her, she was weak and reserved but was also immediately drawn to daryl like he was to her. 'just so you know i liked you first.’ him saying 'stop’ is not rejection, it’s him not knowing how to respond to her but he gets better as his character develops just as she does. carol went straight into survival mode after sophia was discovered as a walker. she’s a warrior, a soldier, the baddest of them all, what rick said: that woman is a force of nature. she sure is too. but killing all those humans started getting to her. she was breaking so she had to get away. but you know? 'i’m not the same woman i was a year ago.’ nah, babe, you’re not so i know she’ll be back and she won’t be back as just 'a force of nature’. she’s going to come back as a tornado ready for war. ready for blood.

daryl and carol are both damaged people drawn to each other. they have a beautiful friendship, probably the most beautiful one out of the whole cast. also, fans have asked norman if daryl and carol hook up so guys both of them … norm and mel and probably gimple … are well aware that we exist. that tumblr exists. that we love daryl and carol. that we love norm and mel. that we love our ship caryl.

and didn’t norm say he didn’t know when he responded? that he’s not allowed in the room when they discuss that stuff? didn’t he also say that he and carol already have a relationship because they’re two damaged people who are drawn to each other? they are open and vulnerable with each other and they aren’t like that [on a very high level at least] with anyone else. also pretty sure he said if it happens he wants it to be awkward, like she would probably have to make the first move.

so i gotta say, i don’t think the writers of twd are assholes but want to know what is rude? sending hate to them. sending hate to the cast. just sending hate. it isn’t nice or cool or funny and it makes getting what we want to see less likely to happen. maybe gimple will just have carol and daryl continue their beautiful friendship. maybe he will make it into something more someday. if it happens, great, but if not, don’t send hate to him and especially don’t send hate to the twd cast. all they’re doing is what the script said. personally i adore daryl and carol and they’ve come so far and i want them to be safe. i also, even though i have never met them, adore melissa mcbride and norman reedus. they are amazing, sweet, funny, and are adorable together. i would love to meet them both. really the whole cast is wonderful.

why you should not dismiss research unless you rly truly mean it

Internet, I am a queer researcher of queer health and I have something to say.

A few weeks back, a study went viral about the relationship between marriage equality policy and queer teen suicide rates, and a lot of people reacted thusly: “queer mental health is better when we’re not discriminated against! BREAKING: SKY IS BLUE, WATER IS WET”

This happens a lot. People see research about a thing ~Everyone Already Knows~ and they mock it. Now I want to make two things really clear:

1. Everyone does not already know.

2. This shit can lose these projects their funding.

Did you know that media coverage is a crucial factor in funding allocation? When we submit our application for grant renewal, we have to provide a list of news articles about our research so they can decide whether the public cares enough about us to let us keep doing our work. And most research doesn’t get all that much coverage, so individual reactions can really matter. If the primary reaction to our publications is eyerolling, we legitimately might not be able to continue.

I’ve seen some frustration from people who believe this research funding would be better put to use “actually helping” the affected populations instead of–I don’t know, pinning them under microscopes or whatever it is they think we do. But funding for policy initiatives is driven by research. I know you wish politicians would listen to individual voices telling them where the problems are, but that’s honestly not a smart way to direct limited resources. We need solid evidence. And a lot of the areas that need the most attention aren’t obvious–who knew bisexual people are at a much higher risk for physical and mental health disparities than gay and lesbian people? Who would have guessed that transgender folks are more likely than any other group (including straight people) to be military veterans, but overwhelmingly don’t claim their benefits? I’m sure some people noticed these patterns, but they definitely weren’t common knowledge within the queer communities I’ve grown up around, and those findings are leading to direct action as we speak.

I get that it can be frustrating to feel like your identity is being reduced to facts and figures for the benefit of red tape. But trust me, the researchers aren’t your enemy here. Most of us are queer too. All of us are just as frustrated by this crap as you are. We are doing our best, and I swear to you this work really is making a difference. Please don’t sabotage it.

anonymous asked:

Hi. I know you're the one who can help me. How will you respond to this: "You knew me better than anyone else, like the back of your hand. You knew how to push every button. It's sad that I can't forget you because that would be like forgetting a part of myself. But maybe it's the right thing to do; maybe walking away from you was the right thing to do." Thanks in advance.

I’ll try my best to answer, I’m not sure I’m really qualified, but okay. First off, I don’t know anything about the whole situation that brought up these words, so anything I say in response might not actually fit. It’s obvious that whoever said this had a deep relationship with you (I’m assuming this was said to you), so a lot of things could have happened.

I guess in this situation that I would try and win them back if you REALLY truly cared for this person. If it was a toxic relationship though, I would just let it go. If all you did was fight, if all you did was push their buttons, if all they did was push your buttons, just let them go.

I know from a little bit of experience that if it was truly something that would last they WILL come back to you. Life has a funny way of giving you second chances, and if you deserve one, you’ll get one. And maybe you need to think a little bit about what they said (I’m sure you have, but maybe in a different way). Maybe they are realizing that it’s not working before you are. They’re also really attached to you, but can tell that it’s not right how you guys fit together.

You probably aren’t going to want to walk away from this person, but from what I’m reading it might be one of those situations where you go “Okay, I’ll give you some space, I don’t want to, but I will.”

I’m so sorry I took a little while to get back to you on this, but I was trying my best to come up with a good answer. Like I said, I’m not really qualified for this, but I tried my best. If you want to talk about it more I’m always here :)

anonymous asked:

The one about rudys mom and his privacy and all

Oh.I see. Well,is all the same problem again.Justin is feeling unhappy and lonely.And sadly some of him own fans is making the things worst.
This “fans” is always dragging Justin for everything,making pressure on him.
I think that Justin is very tired.

A lot of things is happening right now.Justin is pop culture now,his popularity is more high than the sky.Is cool like Justin now,this is why a lot of people pretend love him because is cool. This new fans don’t even know about Justin old songs.They just want photos,and don’t respect him or his feeling.And if he say no,this people will drag him and come back to hate him.

Justin was not being completely happy for a long time .It’s sad, he deserve better.

anonymous asked:

Hey i'm just here to say that i'm really sorry that fandoms where such a negative place for you. I know that probably doesn't mean anything and my sympathy doesn't actually change anything that happened but as someone who loved your writing i just felt i had to say it. Your work is incredible. I hope things start looking up for you soon.

Thank you, friend. You said it probably doesn’t mean anything, but it really does. I figured I would be forgotten by now, but knowing that someone out there still remembers me on here is pretty reassuring. The idea genuinely hadn’t even crossed my mind.

A lot of things have happened since my last post… So much has changed for me. Maybe I should write a post about it all, both the good and the bad. I’ll think about what to say, and have something either tonight or tomorrow.

I started writing again too… there’s nothing online yet, and when I start posting it, I still don’t know that I want it on my old AO3. Maybe, maybe not. I have time to decide. I want to write an original novel, too, but that’s still in the planning stages. It’ll be a really personal story, so I want to take my time with that one.

I really miss interacting with others and connecting through the writing that I used to upload… maybe it’s part of why I’ve become more lonely since I distanced myself from here. I think, after such a long time away from it all, that I’ve decided the benefits outweigh the negatives (though I’ll still be taking certain precautions that I didn’t before, to avoid the toxicity).

Thank you for sending me such a kind message; I really, really appreciate it. I hope you’re having a good week. ♥

anonymous asked:

Lemme guess, Shut Up & Think is for people who just constantly attack without re-thinking anything, Listen is for people who'll ignore anyones attempt of talking about something and Maybe is to get people to open up to the possibility that they're wrong or what they're thinking is completely different. Of which you were/(are?) probably dealing with alot.

Well youre right with the “currently dealing with” bc these commercials are based off of real things that have happened to me

The STOP video had a lot of effort into it because i wanted to convey a message to just stop

Shut Up & Think is basically like “hey watch what you say” or “maybe stop fucking talking about it”

Think what you will of me but i hate when people wont shut the fuck up

Listen is basically like “would you listen to other people or be stuck up your own ass?”

Maybe are the possibilites to one or more parties participating in certain things

Most of us guessed that Navy would end up betraying everyone by the end of the episode. 

I don’t think most of us expected that having her go from this:

to this:

would be really good for Lapis’ mental health.

And despite certain people’s fears about certain story boarders… this was actually very much in character for her. I think it’s pretty safe to assume that Lapis has always been cynical, even in her pre mirror days. After she escaped she went from cynical to detached and apathetic. Not an unexpected defense mechanism for someone who was trapped in an inanimate object for 6,000 years. But she has made progress. She trusts Steven and Peridot. Enough not only to express her concerns, but to essentially make a confession.

Life on Earth is really confusing. It took me a long time to get use to it. I’m still getting use to it.

Given everything that’s happened to her on Earth, it’s only natural that she’s having a hard time adjusting. But she’s just confessed her biggest insecurity: she knows she’s having a hard time dealing with what she’s been through, while having to get use to to living a normal life on the planet where her greatest traumas happened. Before the rebellion she would have done her job and left for the next planet, Earth having been a distant memory by this time. But now she can never leave. Earth has to become home. 

She wants to move on, but feels guilty about how difficult actually doing that is.

So here comes this I-Insta-Love-All-Things-Earth ruby, who seems freakishly well adjusted from the moment she crashes face first into the planet. Never mind that she was lied to not once, but twice, by the crystal gems. Never mind that she was blasted out into space and abandoned while they stole her ship. All is instantly forgiven and she just wants to be a part of their happy family.

Worse yet? The people Lapis cares most about just buy it. They go right along with it as though Navy’s behavior is perfectly normal. It took time for Lapis to even begin to be okay with the idea of living in Earth and forgiving the crystal gems- she’s still working on it, and it’s painful. She’s worked so hard for every inch of progress she’s made, and here’s someone who’s seemingly able to move on the same day they got to Earth.

I just don’t get it. Why is it so easy for her when it was so hard for me? 

So when the perfectly well adjusted Navy turned out to be a gleeful sociopath  gleefully hell bent on revenge, everything fell into place.

Navy’s sudden but inevitable betrayal was the best thing to happen for Lapis’ mental health to date.

So what’s the take away from this? 1) People react differently to trauma. 2) Just because someone seems well adjusted doesn’t mean they are. 3) It’s okay to take a long time to heal from your traumas. It’s okay for it to be a constant work in progress. It’s okay not to be okay. 

And at the end of the day, that realization can almost feel like happiness. 

one thing i like about alex danvers’ coming out journey as an adult was that like….she was surprised, but…not…surprised. and then the more she thought about it the more she remembered all these things that she knew, but that she didn’t KNOW, you know?

They did a good job capturing the ways in which not figuring it out is some combination of not knowing and all the ways the world convinces us to not look and not see. 


Day 2064 -  24 December 2016

2016 aka the year I drew the same catgirl for months

2011 | 2012| 2013 | 2014 | 2015


Pregnant Omega Headcanons

-About two weeks after a heat an Omegas scent will become much sweeter and calming if they’ve become pregnant

-Old wives tales that the sweeter your scent becomes the more pups you’ll likely be having

-Pregnant Omega nesting groups, where Omegas get to be all comfy in a giant nest with other pregnant Omegas and they all exchange stories and useful information and compare belly sizes, and it’s so peaceful and stress free that it’s recommended for Omegas to attend at least once every couple weeks

-If an Omega already has children their sweetened scent filling the house will help keep the children calm and easier to manage

-Dedicating a lot of time constructing the best nest possible to stay in with the babies for after they get home from the hospital and becoming extremely stressed that it won’t be good enough to the point that their Alpha has to forcibly pull them away and make them relax for a while

-Alphas gently crooning and rubbing their Omegas tummy to help their exhausted mate relax and fall asleep

-A couple finding out that all three of their pups will be Omegas and the Alpha low-key freaking out because what if he (or she depending on how you write it) can’t protect three little Omegas? And their mate taking on the comforting role for the first time since the pregnancy started

-Talking about names and the Omega being very serious about wanting unique and meaningful names and being ridiculously upset when their Alpha says “you know what’d be cool? If they all rhymed!”

-The Alpha painting the entire nursery, because they don’t want their Omega around the paint fumes, and being forced to repaint it every time the Omega goes through a major nesting phase and suddenly decides it’s not the right color

-Alphas always being told that pregnant Omegas eat weird things but not thinking much of it until they find their mate dipping pickles in chocolate pudding while spraying cheezwhiz straight into their mouth at 3 AM like it’s perfectly normal