Love Is Not Over
Why are you getting farther away? So far that I can’t reach you?
Member : Min Yoongi/ Suga, appearences from other members as well.
A/N : This will probably be only a two chapter long fic, maybe more, the only thing I can reallypromise is a happy ending xD. Enjoy
Warnings : Hmm … just general angst.
You saw the light in Yoongi’s eyes fade to darkness and his smile break into, what seemed to be, an eternal frown, if not a pained one. His dream of one day becoming a father was shattered, by you. Listening to Jin’s words after having tried a thousand times, only to find out that it was all in vain broke any leftover hope in your married life. Sure, you loved each other but this was still a harsh mountain to overcome.
You felt sorry, sorry to be taking that away from him. And, more than anything, worthless for not being able to give him what he raved about for so long, created fantasies, and now broken dreams.
When you squeezed the hand that had been idly and loosely resting over yours the whole time, Yoongi got up and left. You wordlessly let him go, having no right in trying to keep on holding onto him. It’s not like this was the most beautiful moment of your lives.
“ You need to give him time ” Jin sighed, “ You need to give yourself time as well ”. But, you knew that time will not heal this, nothing will, so you just nodded. Normally, you thought you would scream or uncontrollably sob, cry, or protest to the unfairness of your fate but you just didn’t feel any anger. Maybe this is what they called shock, because everything inside you went numb. Somehow, it felt like you always knew, deep down, that something was wrong after having gotten the negative feedback every time. Perhaps that’s why you didn’t react like it was ’ expected ’.
“ It’s hard to accept something like this and … Y/N ? Are you listening ?” You looked up from your empty hands turning your attention to the sad expression he was giving you. Jin started speaking again when sure you were following him but your mind was slowly drifting away from his words to thinking about anything else to distract you. So, you started thinking about Jin’s life, which only made it worse.
You remembered clearly when he gave up being an idol in order to become a doctor. How his life was so messy and chaotic. He almost gave up numerous times but was pushed forwards by his now-wife into carrying on. Now, looking at him in his long white doctor gown, his life seems so steady and stable. Pictures of him and his one son decorating the desk and office he worked in, happy pictures, happy examples Yoongi would give you in one of your late night chats while you lazily laid in bed sleepless. Jin was happy.
What have you ever given Yoongi ? You won’t even be able to give him that simple happiness.
“ Jin ” You smiled “ Will it be cold of me to say that I don’t feel anything about it ?”
He paused, peering at you with the same expression just a lot more worried, he knew that it wasn’t true. He knew that once the shock was gone and your mind grasps the realization, it will hurt.
“ Just don’t make me worried about you ” He frowned standing up and walking to your seat “ Please, and talk with Yoongi. It was just the surprise, you know how he is ”
Jin wrapped you in one of his comforting long hugs when you stood up as well. You were about to lose your mask and breakdown right then if he hadn’t let you go when he did. You were thankful that he did and that you didn’t show that weak side to someone who would be able to tell Yoongi, and then you left too.
You didn’t really expect Yoongi to be waiting for you once you walked out and, indeed, he wasn’t.
He needs time alone You repeated Jin’s words in your brain throughout the whole day, and the next few days. He only came home to change clothes and shower which was normal for him to do while working on something. But, this time, you knew that he wasn’t, you were just avoiding each other like a game, like the plague. You would check up on him, once every few hours, by sending a text to the only person who was with him 24/7, who was Namjoon but after realizing you were both burdening him and worrying him, you stopped. And started drowning in your own sea of depression and grief over something you would never have.
“ Yoongi ” Your eyes widened when you opened the door of your bedroom to him trying to do the same. His name left your mouth weakly, realizing you haven’t said it in what felt like forever. You both froze just staring at each other until he cleared his throat snapping you out of it.
“ Sorry, I’ll get out of your way ” You nervously stepped away, forgetting why you went out in the first place. With a tight grip on your arm, he stopped you in attempt to turn you back to him. You struggled against his grab, your reddened eyes filling up with tears again.
“ Yoongi … Let me go ” You tried to jerk your arm away but he was as still as a stone. Yoongi was still finding the words he went over so many time in his head, suddenly disappearing when you stood broken in front of him. He fucked up, he knew he did, he reacted wrongly when you were the most hurt there. Then he made it even worse by not apologizing after all those days passed, his guilt driving him into avoiding you. He knew that all too well and he cursed himself for being such a coward. He could tell from the redness in your eyes and the puffiness around them that you’ve been crying for probably the whole time and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t too.
“ I’m sorry, Y/N, I really am ” He breathed out almost inaudibly. “ You can hit me if you want, curse at me, and even kick me out if you want because I deserve it. Just, please, look at me ” Turning you to face him, his own eyes glistering with unshed tears not even trying to hide them anymore.
“ I’m the one who should be sorry, not you ” After looking at him for a split second, shame crept up into your system again making you lower your gaze from his. “ I’m useless” Your voice cracked with the tears starting to stream hotly down your cheeks then meeting on the outline of your jaw before you collapsed to the floor, your crying only getting louder no matter how hard you tried to suppress it.
“ Don’t ever say that !” Yoongi yelled out in all the force he had left after the long day spent in pointless writing and dreadful pity. “ You’re not ” He sunk down to his knees behind you, pulling you to him.
“ I didn’t marry you for kids, I didn’t fall for you because of that ” He caressed down your arms until locking his fingers with yours yours “ I married you because I love you ”
“ But, you wanted it so much and I can’t-” He wrapped his arms around you, your hands still connected.
“ It’s true that I did but I want you more than that. And we’ll find a way around this ” Yoongi kissed the side of your neck and you could feel the dampness of his tears sink into your skin “ We always do”.
You didn’t know for how long you cried on the floor curled up against him or when you fell asleep in his embrace. However, you woke up the next morning in your bed and he wasn’t there. It felt like a dream, Like it was all just a dream.
As always, thank you for reading and feedback is always appreciated.