Hi guys, My boyfriend, whom I adore, and for whom I moved from Michigan to Australia, is incredible. Like, I've never been happier. He has occasional outbursts of basically uncontrollable rage, though, which terrify me when they occur. Let me be clear: he's never raised a hand to me or made me feel threatened, and he's never angry with me. The first one I saw was about a month ago, when he chased some strange men out of our house with a cricket bat at five am, and came back to bed (pt 1/2)
(Pt 2/2) shaking with rage and started throwing things at the wall. The second time was this afternoon when somebody on tumblr insulted me. He nearly broke our bed and our new crockpot, and it really scared me. I don’t know what to do to help him. He promised me after today that he’ll go see a therapist if it happens again, and we’re gonna try guided meditation. Is there anything else I can do? Thanks so much. Please tag with thfg :)
I’m sorry your boyfriend has such a difficult time controlling his anger, that sounds absolutely terrifying. I’m glad he’s never threatened or harmed you, but please, if he ever makes a threat towards you or tires to harm you, do not hesitate to call the police. You do not deserve to be hit, threatened, or live in fear, ever. It sounds like he’s very defensive over you; chasing a strange person out of the house, getting uncontrollably upset over you being insulted. The way he expresses it certainly isn’t the best, but it a weird way I think this does show he cares. However, like I said, if it ever becomes directed towards you, protect yourself. No matter how lovely he is, if he harms you, he’s no where near lovely.
This is certainly something he needs to talk to a therapist about. There may be unresolved feelings that he hasn’t yet coped with that are causing him to lash out in this way. The therapist will give coping skills and ways to manage his anger, similar to the skills we have posted here. I think guided meditation could be a great thing to try. Also, if he enjoys exercise, possibly taking up a club sport such as football (Australian term for soccer), rugby, or even just running, might help him get some of his aggressive energy out in a more constructive and safe manner. It’s great that you want to help him work through this problem; please, just keep yourself safe.
Best of luck buttercup,