they-hate-me

bottom louis manips are the reason i cry myself to sleep.
you know how louis is always super protective of harry and always seems tough but he’s a little kitten power bottom in bed and harry always starts off gentle and slow and louis begs him to rush the pace and harry keeps teasing him then suddenly rushes it till louis moans his name at the top of his lungs and that’s when harry is the toughest with that smirk you just imagined on his face and louis’ weakness is unsurprisingly a divine for both of them… i cry

i hate being so forgiving. i hate not knowing what to do. i hate indifference. i hate that i’m annoying. i hate that i care about people more than they care about me. i hate that i can’t give people what they want. i hate that i’m selfish. i hate that i’m overly jealous. i hate how you make me feel. i hate that i don’t understand my own thoughts. i hate feeling conflicted. i hate wanting something that i can’t have. i hate that i’m ungrateful. i hate that i’m never good enough. i hate that i get upset so easily. i hate that people always feel the need to replace me with someone better. i hate being unwanted. i hate being a second choice all the time. i hate everything and most of all i hate that i hate everything.

“I never come out of my room because whenever I do you insult me”
“That’s not it. It’s because you’re lazy and don’t want to do anything for yourself”
RIGHT THERE. THERE YOU FUCKING HAVE IT. YOU’RE FUCKING INSULTING ME RIGHT NOW. THE REASON IM ALWAYS MOPING AROUND AND WANTING TO STAY IN MY ROOM IS BECAUSE IM ALWAYS FUCKING WRONG IM ALWAYS PATHETIC OR STUPID OR LAZY OR JUST DOING SOMETHING WRONG. WHENEVER I’M STARTING TO FEEL THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF HAPPINESS YOU FUCKING DESTROY IT AND THRN SAY ITS MY FAULT AND I CRY. CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME A BREAK.
I can’t last in this house anymore. I need to get out. I can’t handle two more years with everyone in this house. You are the reason I hate myself so much. This whole family is against me. I’m just a sixteen year old girl, I know it’s hard to believe but I actually have feelings. And call me pathetic all you want but all your doing is making me sadder and weaker. If I disappeared would you be happier? Because it sure seems like it.

I know I should be privileged, my parents don’t beat me, I have nice clothes, food, shelter, but all that is nothing if I don’t have love. I really would like to move out.

Saturday Night Live S37E10: Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, Horatio Sanz & Tracy Morgan’s Christmas Song

After all this time, I still can’t believe how Tracy kept that straight face. And his moves… Perfection. Oh and by the way, the reason I’m uploading this now is that I’ve had it stuck in my head the whole day… Which is not appreciated by my friends.