they're basically what i'm watching the show for at this point

the mars signs, basically
  • mars in aries: "u know what. FUCk everything. why doesnt life just give me what i want!!! life is so SLOW and BORING and i want ADVENTURE why can't things just HAPPEN MY WAY for ONCE!!!" *someone tells them to chill* "who tf are you??? are you trying to fight me????? ok i dare you FIGHT ME"
  • mars in taurus: *bad stuff happens* "lol im fine" *more bad stuff happens* "@ life are u trying to provoke me...try harder it aint working" *the worst thing that could possibly happen happens* "OK THATS IT IM AT MY LIMIT. THAT WAS NOT NECESSARY. IM SO MAD RIGHT NOW I CANT EVEN THINK WTF WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME. anyways im actually totally chill haha let me just suppress my feelings it'll be ok :)"
  • mars in gemini: "oh, i see! you think i'm wrong. i'm truly sorry to hear that some pitiful creatures like you find my beautiful mind so complex that you can't comprehend anything i'm saying. i'm sure that, for SOME people, it is indeed a bit too complex hahah lmao (:"
  • mars in cancer: "fine, whatever. u may have said something rude but it's ok im just gonna ignore that" *later* "that fUkcin bitch...i'll show them later, trust me. i'll just wait for the right moment and destroy them when they least expect it"
  • mars in leo: "??? did u just insult me or one of my interests ??? lmao first of all, HOW DARE YOU. second of all, YOU ARE WRONG. i am so beautiful and awesome and such a great friend and THIS is how u repay me??? i'm worth so much more than this. you are disgraceful. i am disgusted"
  • mars in virgo: "i hate everything. NOTHING is going right and i am FALLING APART. honestly i don't even remember the last time something good happened in this world. why are people always annoying me? why is school always annoying me??? why is LIFE always annoying me????? can everyone just STOP"
  • mars in libra: *someone points out that they need to get their life together* "bitch...what? i'm fine...what are you talking life is 100% under control!!!" *procrastinates everything* "wtf why do i have so much work??? i am dying under all the pressure i hate everything NOTHING IS UNDER CONTROL"
  • mars in scorpio: *on the outside* "okay you know what fuck you im so over this it's over" *on the inside* "i know all ur weaknesses, honey...and trust me, you will regret it. you think i'm over this but i'm definitely not lmao watch ur back"
  • mars in sagittarius: "wtf bitch i hate u, what do you think of yourself??? how dare u disagree with me and say rude stuff to me ugh don't talk to me ever again" *after like 8 minutes max* "omfg the other day i was listening to the duck song and i was thinking about how much you'd like it i mean i bet you've already heard it but it's absolutely hilarious u should watch the video it went viral on youtube hahaha" *someone asks if they've gotten over their anger* "what anger? ...oh thAT. lmao whatever who cares about that, have you heard the duck song?"
  • mars in capricorn: "yeah i'm pretty fucking upset right now, things definitely did not go the way i expected them to. anyways that's just life. i'm over it. i'm just gonna...try and distract myself.....and pretend nothing happened...because that'll help me stop thinking about my shitty life...probably"
  • mars in aquarius: *on the outside* "i guess ur right. maybe what ur saying is the right thing to do :) :) :)" *on the inside* "...excuse me hoe.....ur wrong, i'm right. u can't tell me what to do. i'm well-aware of what i'm doing, if u think i'm gonna listen to anything u tell me to do ur 100% wrong bye"
  • mars in pisces: *accidentally offends someone, someone asks why they're mad* "honestly i'm not totally sure why i'm mad. i didn't even know i was mad until you pointed it out. i mean there are the usual reasons for being mad...people are horrible, life just generally sucks. so yeah im probably just generally mad lmao no worries"

me *watching the clip with the fight scene in it for ml s2*: wow that was really well filmed

my brain: this is an animation

me: wow that was really well…animated

spacefactsandpunksongs  asked:

hi I'm also a slut for sickfics (yikes) do you have any personal hcs for whizzer and marvin (and maybe jason and the others) when they're sick?

i’m the biggest slut for sickfics. don’t worry, these won’t be angsty. fluffy sickfic style. 

this request has only been sitting in my inbox for like… 2 months wow.

  • marvin is always too caught up with work and generally oblivious. he doesn’t realise he’s even sick until someone tells him he looks like shit or when he has a moment of peace and suddenly realises how drained he is.
  • he hates to miss any days of work because god forbid he fall behind or seem lazy. it’s a mindset he’d fallen into in high school & college.
  • it’s gotten to the point where marvin will be trying to sneak out early for work and whizzer will just turn in bed, eyes still closed, and say “go back to bed, marv”.
  • the key word to describe marvin when sick is: whiny.
  • whizzer: this is the most complaints i’ve ever heard and i worked in retail for a year.
  • marvin is clearly pretty annoyed (and will make it known) when he has to stay home. however, he basically sleeps through the entire day because he’s constantly on his toes and he’s finally getting a break.
  • goes through 10 levels of confusion when he wakes up in the middle of the day. experiences that bizarre vertigo where you can’t tell what day it is, which he attempts to articulate in a series of slurred mumbles. whizzer tells him to go back to sleep.
  • whizzer will try to act indifferent towards marvin when he’s sick (“don’t breathe on me, marvin. i’m not getting sick because of you.”).
  • despite this he’s constantly peeking into their bedroom and brings in a glass of fresh water practically every hour.
  • marvin: join me in bed
  • whizzer: you’re sick
  • marvin: i’m cold
  • whizzer: you’re sweating
  • marvin, whining: whizzer
  • whizzer acquiesces, lying next to marvin and brushing his sweaty hair away from his forehead. he lays with marvin’s head in his chest until he feels marvin’s slowed breaths and gently removes himself to make dinner and lay out some water and pills for when marvin wakes up.

  • whizzer regularly catches little colds and illnesses because he’s quite a physical person (beyond sexually). he picks up Everything. the man is too fearless. he will touch and eat almost anything.
  • i feel like i’ve mentioned this so much but whizzer is stubborn and reluctant to accept that he’s sick. he’ll catch the flu and manage to convince everyone that it’s just a little cold until he’s left bed-ridden.
  • even when lying in bed ill he’ll try to convince everyone he’s better within 10 minutes.
  • charlotte: how are you?
  • whizzer: never fel– [coughing fit] never felt better.
  • charlotte: uh huh
  • cordelia: i brought soup!
  • marvin, hiding a laugh: that’ll definitely make him feel better. thanks, cordelia.
  • whizzer is just groaning in anguish at this point honestly.
  • he’s very spacey when sick, especially after taking the highly-recommended medicine charlotte provided. it’s the drowsy kind and whizzer won’t accept that he’s tired.
  • he won’t even get into bed. he’ll just cocoon himself in blankets on the couch, sniffling with heavy eyes. he falls asleep to the murmuring of the tv as a familiar show plays.
  • marvin comes home from work to find him spread eagle and drooling on the couch, as the news drones on in the background. he absolutely doesn’t borrow one of whizzer’s cameras to snap a polaroid of that moment.
  • sometimes marvin stays home from work if he feels that it’s necessary. surprisingly he is such a mother hen.
  • marvin: okay, we need tissues, pills, blankets, A DIFFUSER.
  • when whizzer is half asleep he just starts asking marvin random questions.
  • whizzer: urgh, how could god invent sinusitis and me in the same lifetime?
  • marvin: i’m sure mendel has a well-informed answer for that.
  • whizzer snorts and falls asleep again.
  • whizzer always insists that they cuddle together and watch movies but never gets through 10 minutes. marvin will watch him sleep, wondering how he got so lucky. they wake up together sprawled awkwardly on the couch like kids after a sleepover. there are no attempts made to move as they pull each other closer in the morning light.

  • marvin almost never gets sick to begin with and he’s very good at hiding it when he realises it. he managed to hide the flu for a week until whizzer gets sick because of him.
  • whizzer believes he is the height of health and vitality. he simply can’t get sick. he immediately knows when he’s about to get sick and is popping lozenges like his life depends on it.
  • they’re both experts at hiding their sickness honestly.
  • whizzer “i never get sick” brown and marvin “i’m too busy to get sick” [redacted].
  • marvin is one of those people that prides themselves on only ever having thrown up a whole 3 times in his life.
  • charlotte: stop telling people that.
  • marvin: it’s impressive.
  • charlotte: it was a first date.
  • when they’re both sick together they’re insufferable. they are on thin ice with charlotte while cordelia happily destroys their kitchen preparing her (genuinely good) soup to care for these two hopeless men.

ok i’ll stop here! hope these were ok, love you renée!! i was going to add the others but this has gotten so long. feel free to hmu again when i open requests<3

Full transcript of Adam Lanza's 2011 radio appearance
  • (music fades out)
  • Host: Hello! We got the collapsible headphones here, but uh... we're back.
  • Co-Host: (inaudible) we got Greg on the phone.
  • Host: Oh! Greg. Okay. How's it going?
  • Lanza: Hi, good. Um, I'm a fan of your writing.
  • Host: Thank you.
  • Lanza: I'm sorry to bring up such an old news story, but I couldn't find anything that you said about the topic, and it seems relevant to your interests, so I thought I would bring up Travis the Chimp. Do you remember him?
  • Host: I don't.
  • Lanza: Well, um, he was a highly domesticated chimpanzee, who lived in a suburban home in Stamford, Connecticut.
  • Co-Host: Oh, yeah.
  • Host: Oh.
  • Lanza: And he was raised just like a human child, starting from the week he was born. By the time that he was fourteen years old, which would be somewhere around age twenty in human years, um...
  • Host: Uh-huh.
  • Lanza: ...he slept in a bed, he took his own baths, he dressed himself, he brushed his teeth with an electric toothbrush...
  • Host: (laughs) Really? When was this?
  • Lanza: Um... well.. (chuckles) this happened in early two-thousand-and-nine.
  • Co-host and Host: Oh!
  • Lanza: He ate his meals at a table, and he enjoyed human foods like ice cream, and used a remote control to watch television, and liked baseball games... and he even used a computer to look at pictures on the internet.
  • Host: Huh.
  • Lanza: And... (chuckles) it goes without saying that Travis was very overweight; he was two hundred pounds when he should have been around the low hundreds. And he was actually taking Xanax.
  • Co-Host: (laughing)
  • Host: Amazing.
  • Lanza: I couldn't find any information about why he was taking it, but it just seems to say a lot that he was given it at all. And, basically, I think Travis wasn't any different than a mentally handicapped human child.
  • Host: Hmm.
  • Lanza: But, anyway, one day in February 2009, he was acting very agitated, and at some point grabbed the car - his owner's - car keys, and went outside and started leaping from car to car, apparently wanting to go for a car ride. And he was acting very aggressively, so, his owner called her over to get her to help calm him down and get him to go back inside, and once she arrived, he immediately attacked her, and his owner tried to stop him, but couldn't, and she even resorted to stabbing him with a knife, but nothing worked.
  • And she said that after she stabbed him, he looked at her as if to say "Why'd you do that to me, Mom?" Because apparently that was what their relationship was like; no different than between a human mother and child.
  • So, after stabbing, she called the police, who arrived twelve minutes after the attack, at which point her friend was... pretty close to dead. And once the cruiser came up, Travis went over to it, tried to open the locked passenger door. He smashed off the side mirror, went over to the driver's door, opened it, and the cop shot him. He fled back into the house, where he went to his playroom and bled to death.
  • Host: Hmm.
  • Lanza: And... (chuckles) um, it might not seem very relevant, but I'm bringing it up because afterward, everyone was condemning his owner for, saying how irresponsible she was for raising a chimp like it was a child, and that she should have that something like this would happen, because chimps aren't supposed to be living in civilization, they're supposed to be living in the wild, among each other. But, their criticism stops there-
  • Host: Mmm-hmm.
  • Lanza: -and the implication is that there's no way that anything could have gone wrong in this life if he were living in this civilization as a human, rather than a chimp.
  • Host: Ah, indeed.
  • Lanza: Because, uh, he brings up questions about this whole process of child-raising.
  • Host: Yeah.
  • Lanza: Civilization isn't something which just happens to gently exist without us having to do anything, because every newborn child - human child - is born in a chimp-like state, and civilization is only sustained by conditioning them for years on end, so that they'll accept it for what it is, and since we've gone through this conditioning, we can observe a human family raising a human child - and I'm sure that even you have trouble intuitively seeing it as something unnatural - but when we see a chimp in that position, we immediately know that there's something profoundly wrong with the situation. And it's easy to say there's something wrong with it simply because it's a chimp, but what's the real difference between us and our closest relatives?
  • Travis wasn't an untamed monster at all. Um, he wasn't just feigning domestication, he was civilized. Um, he was able to integrate into society, he was a chimp actor when he was younger, and his owner drove him around the city frequently in association with her towing business, where he met many different people, and got alone with everyone. If Travis had been some nasty monster all his life, it would have been widely reported. But, to the contrary, it seems like everyone who knew him said how shocked they were that Travis had been so savage, because they knew him as a sweet child, and... there were two isolated incidents early in his life where he acted aggressively, but... summarizing them would take too long, so basically I'll just say that he didn't really any differently than a human child would, and the people who would use that as an indictment against having chimps live as humans do wouldn't apply the same thing to humans, so it's just kind of irrelevant.
  • Host: Uh-huh.
  • Lanza: Bu anyway, look what civilization did to him; it had the same exact effect on him as it has on humans. He was profoundly sick in every sense of the term, and he had to resort to these surrogate activities like watching baseball, and looking at pictures on a computer screen, and taking Xanax. He was a complete mess.
  • Host: Mmm-hmm.
  • Lanza: And his attack wasn't simply because he was a senselessly violent, impulsive chimp. Uhm, which was how his behavior was universally portrayed. Um, immediately before the attack, he had desperately been wanting his owner to drive him somewhere, and the best reason I can think of for why he would want that, looking at his entire life, would be that... some little things he experienced was the last straw, and he was overwhelmed at the life that he had, and he wanted to get out of it by changing his environment, and the best way that he knew how to deal with that was getting his owner to drive him somewhere else.
  • Host: Yeah.
  • Lanza: And when his owner's... owner's friend, arrived, he knew that she was trying to coax him back into his place of domestication, and he couldn't handle that, so he attacked her, and anyone else who approached them. And dismissing his attack as simply being the senseless violence and impulsiveness of a chimp, instead of a human, is wishful thinking at best.
  • Host: Mmm-hmm.
  • Lanza: His attack can be seen entirely parallel to the attacks and random acts of violence that you bring up on your show every week, committed by humans, which the mainstream also has no explanation for-and-
  • Host: No.
  • Lanza: -and, actual humans... I just- just don't think it would be such a stretch to say that he very well could have been a teenage mall shooter or something like that.
  • Host: Yeah. Yeah.
  • Lanza: And-
  • Host: Wow. Thank you, Greg.
  • Lanza: Yeah.
  • Host: That's quite a story. That's, uh, really apropos, isn't it? Travis the chimp.
  • Lanza: It's just that I'm a little surprised that I haven't heard you bring it up all because... (laughs) maybe I'm just seeing connections where there aren't any, but-
  • Host: Not at, I uh, think not. No, I just... I didn't catch that one. I didn't uh... maybe I was out of the country or something, I don't know, but I missed that it. Thanks very much, man.
  • Lanza: Thank you. Bye.
  • Host: Take care.
  • (Lanza hangs up)

anonymous asked:

hello. i was wondering how fantastic beasts is whitewashed? I'm actually generally curious because i haven't seen it yet (although i was planning to) and i want to know if i should still go because now I'm not so sure. whats wrong with fantastic beasts? you don't have to answer this if you don't want, thats ok :)

reasons not to go see this shitty movie:

  • Fantastic Beasts is whitewashed in that it takes place in 1920′s New York (during the Jazz Age) and features a cast that is more than 80% white. It profits off of black culture and history by using it as a setting, but whitewashes it by casting white people as extras and leads. Many parts of the movie take place in Harlem, but look like this
  • The movie also cast Johnny Depp, a violent abuser, so paying to watch it is basically supporting him and the assholes who thought it was a good idea to cast a man who beat his wife in a Harry Potter movie and then not tell the fans about it, to make it a “surprise.”
  • This is made worse by the fact that the movie has a storyline where an abuse victim is turned into a monster and then killed (full trigger warning)
  • The major plot of the film is an allegory for racism with a white cast. The villains of the movie argue for wizard supremacy, saying that it is “for the greater good,” and that Muggles as well as goblins, elves, and other magical races are better off under the rule of wizards. Just like the original Harry Potter movies (which had poc speaking in 0.47% of it’s runtime) the major villains are meant to make the audience think of white supremacists, but racism allegories that only have white people are boring and lazy. Doing this is essentially locking POC out of our own stories.
  • Still no canon LGBT characters, with the (possible?) exception of Depp’s role as Grindelwald, which is worse than nothing.
  • The movie also has a character who is born with magical powers and a family who is extremely anti magic, represses them and then meets a man who he has an odd amount of sexual tension with who manipulates him by making him feel better about his powers. The storyline both draws parallels to LGBT experiences and perpetuates unnerving stereotypes.
  • It’s probably going to be boring shit anyway tbh 
  • It’s pretty obvious at this point that JKR wants ally points for things like casting Hermione as black woman in the Cursed Child and revealing that Dumbledore was gay, without actually having to bother with giving her stories real diversity. She described Newt Scamander as “swarthy” last year, only for him to be played by a man who is the exact opposite, and the story she wrote in preparation for this movie, History of Magic in North America, showed her lack of understanding of Native American culture, and North American history in general.

tl;dr: it whitewashed 1920′s New York, has Johnny Depp in it, and it capitalizes off of LGBT themes, black culture, and abuse as a storyline while treating POC, LGBT people, and abuse victims as invisible or worse.

anonymous asked:

(i suggest you don't answer this, just wanted to let you know something) i'm a karamel shipper and i've currently been laying low bc of all the haters. i've seen the antis bully one karamel shipper when she pointed out that the things they're hating mon-el for are also in kara (so basically making it look like they hate kara when they really don't) so your comment abt karamel and the punches... these antis will find a way to turn it all around

Can’t help but answer it.  I appreciate your concern.  I admit, sometimes I bait the antis so that when they stick their head up out of the tall grass I can block them.  They may think she’s a perfect princess, but I love her flaws.  I love the parts of her that make her like me.  The parts of her that are princess-y are the parts I don’t identify with.  My point is, as always, is that she’s not perfect and I don’t want her to be, because then she has nowhere to grow.  And if the story is about her, then what story are they telling exactly if there’s no direction for her develop?  We should watch her devolve from perfection?  Is that a story anyone wants to see?

Also, as a student of storytelling, I know that if your character ends the story in the same state of development as when they began – you’re doing it wrong.  Characters should get better…or get worse.  One or the other.

It doesn’t matter what anyone says or how diplomatically they say it, the antis will turn anything around to however they want to see it.  That’s what they live for – not the show.  The hate.

anonymous asked:

By Rogue One ObiWan is only a few years older than Chirrut and Baze so imagine if he went to Jedha with Luke and he met them. Of course, they all end up raising Luke together and Baze is long suffering because now he has TWO crazy potentially suicidal force users to look after and they're training another one. When Jyn and Cassian come to Jedha, they end up with two extra Jedi and they're able to survive Scarif bc I'm a sucker for happy endings and also Luke gets THREE gay space dads

… oh I am so here for canon alternatives – LETS DO THIS THING

(what is effectively a fic outline under the cut because I am a slut for canon alternatives)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Eliot, Parker, and Hardison together is probably one of the best parts of the show tbh. They're just- amazing together? And it's wonderful? And I'd say more, but I honestly have no idea what goes where at this point because I watch random episodes too freely, and I really don't want to spoil anything. But, favorite character? Favorite episode? I'm curious and loving watching you get into this series, I'm sorry. Thanks for responding to my first ask!

omg of course!!!

okay i LOVE THEM SO MUCH. LOVE THEM. psa i’ve totally finished the whole series because i have no self preservation instincts.

okay so my favorite character has to be hardison because out of all of them he’s the most ‘normal’ in comparison. not like, in his abilities or his wants, but in his ability to relate to other people. he’s been through rough shit, and he always comes out kinder and stronger and more loving. and i love him the most because he’s the one who could mostly be happy living among normal people, to be honest i feel as if he needs the team the least but wants them the most. he could be a nine to five hacker, just presents himself as a genius geek who works from home or even gets himself an office or whatever, and live a mostly normal life among normal people. he just - for the shit he’s been through, he doesn’t have all that much baggage. normal people dont confuse him or bore him, they’re not a mark like they are for sophie, a puzzle for parker, a mass of mistakes and faults for nate, a potential threat for eliot. they’re just people.

and because hardison doesn’t try to put people into boxes is why he loves this team so much and so unabashedly from the start. for people that are so defined by their role on the team, he doesn’t define them. nate questions eliot’s ability to cook and be a hitter, but hardison just takes it in stride. this is eliot, he’s an amazing cook, great at wines, spends more time on his hair than any girl hardison has ever known, and he knows 43 ways to kill someone with a plastic butter knife. cool. he never wants anyone to change, he supports them if they choose to change, but he doesn’t ask anyone to be what they are and instead does his best to change himself in the way that he relates to them. and he tries so hard and so much. sophie and nate, they’re on another level, a little to arrogant, a little too bitter for it to work.

but eliot and parker man. fuck. talk about two people who’ve spend almost their whole lives being told how they had to be and how what they were wasn’t good enough, wasn’t right. and then hardison comes in and just. is there. protecting and caring for them without asking anything in return. and parker and eliot keep waiting for the other foot to drop, for there to be some sort of catch in how hardison just keeps being there for them, but it never comes. and at some point down the line they finally accept that this is how hardison is, and how they kinda cant live without him anymore, which a whole new different realization for another reason.

just. the thing that gets me about this OT3 is that every single one of them feels like they got lucky, like they’re the ones dating up. parker has eliot who understands her, and hardison who’s patient and so good to her, and she looks at these mostly normal guys and wonders why they’re bothering with her and her weirdness and hang ups and insecurities when they could be having a normal relationship with each other. eliot looks at parker, the best thief, and hardison, the smartest man he’s ever known, and he knows he’s not the best hitter in the world, that even if he was that he can’t sustain that, and parker and hardison are criminals but they’re not murderers and they’re kind to each other and good to each other and can touch each other without worrying if they’re smearing blood on their lover’s skin from the countless people that have died under their hands, and just, eliot considers himself the soiled, bad man who’s potentially ruining a perfectly healthy, if not normal, relationship between people who’ve never gotten their hands dirty. and hardison looks at beautiful and graceful parker, and eliot who shifts between controlled finesse with a sword in his hand to a deadly tornado in a hand to hand fight, and hardison walks into walls and trip over his own two feet, he doesn’t know what these two amazing people are doing with him, because he knows parker and eliot speak this secret language of people who use their body as a tool, but hardison can’t do that, cant share a look and shrug with them and have it be a conversation, instead all he has is words, a flood of words, an endless waterfall of words to talk about his feelings, and he knows most of the time they don’t want his words and he can’t understand them in the way they understand each other, and basically hardison is terrified of the day that eliot and parker figure out they’re perfect together and decide they don’t need him anymore.

my precious insecure children who love so hard and so clumsily and so much that it ends up spilling out of them and over the floor and up to their necks, threatening to drown them if they’re not careful.

just. jesus fuck these three and this show has fucking ruined me.

aslo, favorite eps: the 12 step job, the grave danger job, the rundown job, the first david job, the lost heir job, the gone fishing job, the san lorenzo job, the queen’s gambit job

"american beauty" sentence starters
  • "I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world."
  • "Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself."
  • "Lose my job? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT."
  • "I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast."
  • "You're right. I suck dick for money."
  • "Well, what do you say I throw in a little sexual harassment charge, to boot?"
  • "Management wants you gone by the end of the day."
  • "Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of."
  • "It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back."
  • "When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track."
  • "All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me."
  • "I rule!"
  • "She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel better about yourself."
  • "It's never too late to get it back."
  • "I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated."
  • "You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated here?"
  • "Both my wife/husband and daughter/son think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right."
  • "I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility."
  • "You should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three States."
  • "Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?"
  • "Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?"
  • "I don't think we can be friends anymore."
  • "Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?"
  • "You're way too uptight about sex."
  • "I want to look good naked!"
  • "Someone really should just put him out of his misery."
  • "I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here."
  • "You don't really think [name] and I were..."
  • "Want me to kill him for you?"
  • "I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school."
  • "I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone."
  • "Remember those posters that said, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die."
  • "She hates me. She hates you, too."
  • "There's plenty of joy in my life."
  • "Go fuck yourself, psycho!"
  • "My parents are coming tonight. They're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me."
  • "Gross. I hate it when my mom does that."
  • "Fuck me, Your Majesty!"
  • "I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty."
  • "You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have."
  • "I'm so sorry for the way things look around here."
  • "I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set for our daughter."
  • "Who are you looking for?"
  • "This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living."
  • "There's nothing worse than being ordinary."
  • "Everything that's meant to happen does."
  • "You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grubbing freak."
  • "Welcome to America's weirdest home videos."
  • "Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way."
  • "I'm sensing a real distance growing between you and [name]."
  • "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."
  • "Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!"
  • "Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. But, your dad's actually kind of cute."
  • "If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot."
  • "You don't get to tell me what to do ever again."
  • "I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out."
  • "Never underestimate the power of denial."
  • "Are you trying to look unattractive today?"
  • "How dare you speak to me that way in front of her."
  • "Jesus, what is it with you?"
  • "I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist."
  • "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in."
  • "See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident."
  • "Don't interrupt me, honey!"
  • "[Name]'s a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die."
  • "You better watch yourself, [name], or you're going to turn into a real bitch, just like your mother!"
  • "I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you lose your job."
  • "You're boring. And you're totally ordinary. And you know it."
  • "You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."
  • "Uh, whose car is that out front?"
  • "Your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink."
  • "In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times."
  • "She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love."
  • "I think you just became my personal hero!"
  • "Man, you are one twisted fuck."
  • "The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing."
  • "You know, this really doesn't concern you."
  • "I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable?"
  • "I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it."
  • "Your wife is with another man and you don't care?"
  • "It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself."
  • "In less than a year, I'll be dead."
  • "[Name], today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus."
  • "I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time."
  • "I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are."
  • "Well, at least I'm not ugly."
  • "This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here."
  • "[Name], are you masturbating?!"
  • "If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model."
  • "In a way, I'm dead already."
  • "You are so busted."
  • "I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up."
  • "Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably."
  • "The car I've always wanted and now I have it."
  • "God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that..."
  • "Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about."
  • "I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose."
  • "Our marriage is just for show. A commercial for how normal we are when we're anything but."
  • "It would be nice if I was anywhere near as important to him as she is."
  • "Gotta spend money to make money."
  • "I refuse to be a victim!"
  • "I was filming this dead bird."
  • "Do you party?"
  • "Oh, what? You're mother of the year? You treat her/him like an employee."
  • "Could he be any more pathetic?"
  • "I think it's sweet."
  • "You need structure... you need discipline."
  • "He's just so confident, it can't be real."
  • "So, you're fucking psycho-boy on a regular basis now? Tell me, has he got a big dick?"
  • "He didn't even look at me once!"
  • "I don't think you'd fit in here."
  • "It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn."
  • "Excuse me for speaking so bluntly, sir."
  • "Oh, I'm in trouble."
  • "I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting."
  • "This country is going straight to hell!"
  • "[Name], when did you become so joyless?"
  • "I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious."
  • "What is this? The fucking Gay Pride parade?"
  • "Sorry about my dad."
  • "To you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones."
  • "This is my first time."
  • Okay but imagine this
  • Bilbo is the tattoo artist who owns his own shop that everyone is really confused about because he's this cute little thing that were baggy jumpers that go over his hands to do the sweat paw thing when he's not inking someone and he has these big glasses that he's always fumbling to push up his nose and he's just all around adorable and he's polite and smiles warmly at everyone and he looks like he needs to be in a pile of pillows with a cuppa and a good book next to a roaring fire instead of in the middle of a tattoo parlor with designs that range from disturbing to beautiful why is this small creature here why this isn't right and his workers are like hell just you wait
  • And then he shows up randomly in a new pair of glasses that compliment his face perfectly and a pair of nice, tight trousers and a button up white shirt that has the sleeves rolled up to the elbows revealing his multitude of tattoos and a burgundy vest with elaborate buttons sewn on and everyone is like holy shit then Bilbo is talking with someone and having a civil chat and someone says a slur of some sort and instantly any sign of warmth just disappears from his face and he very calmly asks them to leave and the person is like why because I said [insert slur here] and then suddenly tiny cuddly Bilbo is an imposing force and should be ten feet tall to just complete how terrifying he is when he wants to be and he's suddenly very heatedly describing how slurs are incredibly rude and highly inappropriate in any situation and how to merely casually insert them into a conversation is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself for this behavior, your mother would be feeding you bars of soap for a week should she have heard that, get out of my shop and good day to you, and everyone watching is just like O.O because Bilbo has never even spoken in an unkind tone before even when he had really difficult customers and they're all just so shocked and his workers are behind the counter laughing their asses off
  • Now insert Thorin, high-and-mighty businessman who has a soft spot for his two nephews and takes care of them constantly and is always there when they need him and who tries to be stern with them but really can't deny them a single thing. He's got boisterous Kili at one elbow (sixteen maybe) who's chattering on and on about something from school and Fili (nine? twenty?) who's very calm and collected and listening to his brother fondly and interjecting every now and then and they're both making Thorin just feel so proud and they walk into Bilbo's shop because after six months of Kili pestering Thorin about a tattoo and showing him the design he'd created a year prior and begging and pleading for weeks, months on end he's finally convinced him yes, he really wants it, please uncle, I'll get it on my upper arm so I only show it off when I want to, please, I'll make sure mum doesn't yell at you, and finally he concedes because he can't get mad at them and he talked Dís into letting him get it easy enough
  • So he gets a recommendation from Dwalin who has an impressive number of tattoos scattered across his body which adds to his intimidation and makes lots of people comply out of fear of what could happen if they don't and he points them in Bilbo's direction so they go on a rainy Saturday since no ones seems arsed to get out besides them
  • Bilbo's shop is buzzing with life as usual, filled with the misfit kids he'd taken upon himself to watch over. So basically he's got merry and pippin and frodo and Sam all working around his shop doing random jobs like sweeping and wiping down the counter because Bilbo insists that they keep themselves busy and that they don't do bad things and in exchange for work instead of being paid they earn 'credits' Bilbo logs and when you get a certain amount Bilbo will give you a tattoo free but he insists they get the slip signed every time regardless since they're still young. He'd pay them but he's already got Tauriel working as his extra artist and they're looking for a person to work the register and help people find the design they want cause Bilbo is busy tattooing and sketching out custom designs and Tauriel never leaves her workroom unless it's a break for her or Bilbo insists she get out for once
  • So the shop is all bright and colorful and filled with designs, some generic and some unique, and Bilbo is dressed in the vest outfit and sitting on the counter in the criss cross applesauce position (how the fuck do you describe that position anymore without using the preschool shorthand someone tell me) and he's beaming down at his 'kids' as they sit on the floor in front of him, all of them laughing as frodo tries to braid tauriel's hair and merry and pippin and sharing a snack and Sam is sketching in his book a gorgeous flower tattoo for his next one but still joining in on the conversation. In walks Thorin and Fili and Kili and everyone turns to look at them and Bilbo is instantly up and smiling warmly, welcoming them in and telling them they can hang up their raincoats, no need for those in here. And Kili is stunned into silence because of Tauriel and Tauriel is blushing a brighter color than her hair because what is this who is this boy who is shorter than her and watching her as if she is the sun and the moon and the stars encompassed in one body that wasn't right he shouldn't be staring stop it stooooop and Fili is looking over the sign for help Bilbo had put up and the boys on the floor don't pay much attention to the newcomers and then there's Thorin and Bilbo and Bilbo is trying to straighten his clothes because oh gods oh gods he's cute and Thorin is watching Bilbo fiddle with his clothes and glances at his tattoos cause oh goodness no one should be that attractive
  • A bunch of stuttered explanations and accidental flirting later and Kili is set up with Tauriel in her room and he's getting his tattoo and Fili is being helped by the boys with his resume and interview and Thorin and Bilbo are chattering away about nothing and then Centuries by Fall Out Boy comes on so the boys perk up and frodo dashes to the sound system without missing a beat and turns it up with a cry of "Bilbo, it's your song!" and Bilbo is laughing and the boys start getting up and dancing to the loud music (Fili included after a bit of arguing) and Bilbo doesn't realize it but he's singing along and then Thorin who knows the song because Kili is constantly playing this album over and over is singing too and they're just grinning while shouting along with the lyrics and they don't take their eyes off of each other and they're completely in sync when the chorus comes on and just "Some legends are told, some turn to dust, some to gold, but you'll remember me... Remember me, for centuries. And just one mistake is all that it takes, we'll go down in history... Remember me, for centuries."
  • Flash forward a few years to their wedding, Thorin's skin a bit more colorful after a few trips to Bilbo, Bilbo's shop more popular that ever with the influx of businessmen that Thorin happens to find and send his way (really, he didn't think so many people hid so many tattoos under those huge suits) and they're grinning and frodo, merry, pippin, Fili, Kili, and Tauriel (the last two unashamedly holding hands and pressed as close together as they can manage) are getting up to make a speech and Bilbo is curious but then they're all speaking in snippits, telling them that they all had ideas as to what sort of speech they could come up with and then they realized they really shouldn't say anything at all, there's something that could say everything they needed for them, and now Bilbo is absolutely intrigued and so is Thorin and everyone else and then they step offstage and Centuries starts playing and Bilbo and Thorin are laughing and grinning and going to hug the troublesome kids close and everyone is singing and some people are really confused but those nine and a few select others know what's going on and they're just so entirely happy and once the song is over Kili just goes "I'm so glad uncle let me get that tattoo"
a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters (pt. 7)
  • "I would never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well."
  • "Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere."
  • "If she really knows the truth, she deserves you."
  • "Never again will I kiss you, never again will I want to."
  • "After today then there's nothing you owe me."
  • "I'm so glad that you came, I needed someone who loves me."
  • "Don't try to talk yourself into this love."
  • "You can't try to stay, you either will or you won't."
  • "You think you're smarter than me with all your bad poetry."
  • "I'm not a little kid now, watch me get big now."
  • "I feel like I'm just missing something whenever you leave."
  • "I'm taking back what's mine."
  • "You'll miss the slice of heaven that I gave to you last night."
  • "You're just a piece of meat to me."
  • "They say love grows, but I've only seen it die."
  • "I'm too young to feel like I'm runnin' out of time."
  • "I get so scared thinkin' I'll never get over you."
  • "Maybe I'll never get over you."
  • "I met someone new and now I'm scared to go all the way."
  • "I can't get through to you."
  • "I can calm you."
  • "I'm out of my mind; think you can wait?"
  • "I won't make trouble."
  • "I'll try, but I couldn't be better."
  • "Stay with me among the strangers."
  • "Hold on, what's the rush? We're not done, are we?"
  • "You can stay one more hour... can you stay one more hour?"
  • "You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me."
  • "You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay."
  • "I'll be here when it's all done you know."
  • "What's the point in chasing if I can't enjoy your face?"
  • "I don't care what clothes you wear, it's time to love and I don't care."
  • "And if I was running, you'd be the one who I would be running to."
  • "I am not lying, I am just trying to find my way in to you."
  • "Love everything you do when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do."
  • "I wanna ride my bike with you."
  • "It's not like I'm asking to be your wife."
  • "I wanna make you mine, but that's hard to say."
  • "Is this coming off in a cheesy way?"
  • "There's a little bit of heaven in everyone."
  • "Love will lead us all to smithereens."
  • "Everybody knows the world's about to end."
  • "I know those pretty actresses are calling your name."
  • "I'll be here waiting, I'll always be the same."
  • "You were supposed to be there by my side."
  • "When you say that you want me, I just don't believe it."
  • "You're always ready to give up."
  • "What if I need you, baby? Would you even try to save me?"
  • "I'm so sick of worrying that you're gonna quit over anything."
  • "Should I be scared?"
  • "You were comforting and quiet, how did love become so violent?"
  • "Everything was so sweet until you tried to kill me."
  • "I'm so unprepared, I'm fucking scared."
  • "Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine?"
  • "Have you given up?"
  • "I used to be a little bit shy."
  • "Speaking up to you about my emotions has always been hard."
  • "Don't let me stop you from doing what you want to do."
  • "Just don't pretend that you're into me."
  • "You tell me that I'm beautiful, but that could be a lie."
  • "What if I'm fallin' for a heartbreaker?"
  • "I'm always watchin' for someone to show their darker side."
  • "I was young, but I wasn't naive."
  • "My love for you was blind, but I couldn't make you see it."
  • "I loved you more than you'll ever know."
  • "A part of me died when I let you go."
  • "Chasing after you is like a fairytale."
  • "It’s all fun and games 'til somebody falls in love."
  • "I learned a lot about being a friend when I was alone."
  • "I've made more mistakes than you can count."
  • "Are you too nervous to be lovers?"
  • "Friendship's ruined with just one kiss."
  • "I can't keep starin' at your mouth without wonderin' how it tastes."
  • "I'm with another boy and he tried to win my heart, but it's taken."
  • "I'm giving you the lead."
  • "I won't make the move, you must make the move."
  • "Don't second-guess your feelings, you were right from the start."
  • "I notice she's your lover, but she's nowhere near your heart."
  • "I think it's very dangerous if we do not take what's ours."
  • "I'm winning you with words because I have no other way."
  • "I'd love to look into your face without your eyes turning away."
  • "I’d call you up but I know you’re not alone."
  • "Maybe all that we were meant to be is beautifully unfinished."
  • "I hate you and I love you and I wish you’d go away."
  • "I hate you and I love you and I wish that you would stay."
  • "Kids are still depressed when you dress them up."
  • "He doesn't think I'm that fucking dumb, does he?"
  • "Remember all the things we wanted?"
  • "All our memories, they're haunted."
  • "We were always meant to say goodbye."
  • "I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop."
  • "You couldn't have loved me better, but I want you to move on."
  • "I know that you'll find another that doesn't always make you wanna cry."
  • "I love you enough to let you go."
  • "I grow fonder every day."
  • "God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go."
  • "I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before."
  • "You never know if you never try to forgive your past and simply be mine."
  • "Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close?"
  • "I dare you to let me be your one and only."
  • "Give me the chance to prove that I'm the one."
  • "I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart."
  • "That basic bitch leaves finally."
  • "Was he yours, if he wanted me so bad?"
  • "She’s getting on my nerves."
  • "You don’t love her."
  • "Loving her seems tiring."
  • "I know you don't think that I am trying."
  • "A girl like you is impossible to find."
  • "I always swore to you I'd never fall apart."
  • "I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start."
  • "I can tell how much you hate this and deep down inside you know it's killin' me."
  • "Nothing I can say would change anything."
  • "Such young love, but something in me knew that it was real."
  • "I live through pictures as if I was right there by your side."
  • "You’ll be good without me and if I could just give it some time, I’ll be alright."
  • "I didn't think it'd happen, but I guess it had to happen."
  • "I want you back here, can't you see?"
  • "Gonna take more than just time."
  • "I know I did you wrong, but now it's said and done and I'm sorry."
  • "Yeah I took and broke your heart and your world was torn apart, but I'm sorry."
  • "Touch me when the lights go off... but don't fall in love."
  • "Babe, there's something tragic about you, something so magic about you."
  • "There's something lonesome about you."
  • "You call me on the telephone, you feel so far away."
  • "I don't want to play no games."
  • "I'm tired of always chasing."
  • "I don't give a fuck about you anyways, whoever said I gave a shit about you?"
  • "I wish I didn't care all the time."
  • "All I ever wanted was a simple way to get over you."
  • "I don't believe you when you say you don't need me anymore."
  • "Don't pretend to not love me at all."
  • "The passion's there so it's gotta be right, right?"
  • "Don't you ever say I just walked away, I will always want you."
  • "All you ever did was wreck me."
  • "I just wanted you to let me in."
  • "I thought you were my best friend."
  • "You're not the girl I once knew."
  • "It's such an evil thing to watch someone have jealousy."
  • "Nobody wins when you're full of envy."
  • "I was always happy when I was watchin' you become a star, but you were only happy when the world was openin' up my scars."
  • "You sold yourself for your fame."
  • "Did you really mean the words that you said?"
  • "Show me the truth."
  • "I should have told you, but I never had the courage and I thought you really wouldn’t understand."
  • "Tell me, are you who I thought you were or who I wanted you to be?"
  • "Why do I feel so deceived? Guess I believed what I wanted to believe."
  • "You're the only one who knows exactly what I mean." "You're not what I expected."
  • "You're the only one who knows how to handle me."
  • "You're such a great kisser and I know that you agree."
  • "I hope you can forgive me for that time when I put my hand between your legs and said it was small 'cause its really not at all."
  • "I guess there's just a part of me that likes to bring you down just to keep you around, 'cause the day that you realize how amazing you are you're gonna leave me."
  • "I will not make the same mistakes that you did."
  • "I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery."
  • "Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me."
  • "You should have known better than to lean on me."

bellmyblake  asked:

YAAAAY! Thanks for taking this prompt! *takes a deep breath* Okay, bellarke AU where one of them uses their hands a lot while they're talking and they're really into the story they're telling so they accidentally punch the other in the face and that's how they meet. I think it would be funny for either one to be the puncher, so I'm gonna leave it up to you!

“Babe,” Raven said as he slid Clarke’s glass across the bar.  “You have got to chill out.”

Clarke took a giant gulp.  “I just don’t get what I did wrong,” she lamented.  “I thought everything went fine?”

Raven was pouring a whiskey for a businessman two seats down from Clarke but she was nodding.  She slid the man his drink and returned to Clarke, leaning her elbows on the bar.  “Clarke,” she said slowly.  “It was an OkCupid date.  What were you really expecting?”

Clarke threw her hands up.  “I don’t know?” She felt like she was on the verge of tears.

Ignoring the group of frat boys hollering for another round of beers, Raven leaned closer.  “Clarke, babe, it’s going to be fine.  Okay?  That guy was a douche.  You’re a great catch and if he can’t see that he’s not worth your time.  Got it?”  When Clarke nodded Raven held up a finger.  “Now let me go take care of Asshole Squad over there and then I’ll be back, all right?”

Clarke nodded and Raven picked her way down the bar, weathering the hollers of the frat boys with her practiced patience.

“Okay,” she said when she returned.  “Now tell me exactly what happened.”

Clarke took another sip of her drink and spun the glass idly on the bar top, choosing her next words.  “Well, the date itself went fine you know?” She waved a hand in the air.  “Like he kissed me on the cheek when we met at the restaurant and pulled my chair out for me and he smiled a lot and laughed?”  She trailed off, a far off look in her eye.

Raven tapped her lightly upside the head.  “Don’t you do that, Clarke Griffin.  You are not daydreaming about that asshole.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I was reading your post about darren being so accessible to his fans and it got me thinking that even though I love Chris Colfer, he seems not as warm as darren is. I get it that he is a private person but being a celebrity, you kinda owe it to ur fans to be accessible coz they're the ones who make u well known in the first place. I'm not saying that Chris should be an open book but I find him so guarded most of the time. Or maybe it's just me.... What do u think

Respectfully, Anon, I disagree with your statement that celebrities “owe” it to their fans to be accessible. Show some amount of gratitude or appreciation, maybe? Sure, you shouldn’t actively be a dick to the people who support you. But outside of the work that they’ve done that we admire? They don’t owe us some slice of themselves, or some monthly quota of meet-and-greets. (Maybe their contracts with their employers state otherwise, but I couldn’t even begin to speculate on that sort of thing.)

More to the point, the fans that many celebrities encounter on a daily basis give them every reason in the world NOT to be accessible. Fans are in a near-constant state of invading their personal space, being completely inappropriate to them, reporting their every move, and generally making it incredibly difficult for them to lead anything resembling a normal day-to-day private life. And that’s not even approaching the paparazzi issue, which is perpetuated on the idea that we “should” have access to these people. No, not every fan is like that. But there are enough who are, that it taints everyone else’s potential interactions.

So yeah, I’m a big fan of Chris Colfer, too. And I agree, he strikes me as very guarded and seems to avoid many of these Fan Front-style events. He doesn’t seem very comfortable with them, and yeah, that’s a striking contrast when put right next to somebody like Darren, who has a particular gift for that type of interaction. But not many people can do that. And though he gives the impression of being more open, I think Darren has just as solid a boundary between his private and public lives as Chris does. Darren just makes you feel like it’s not there. That’s a talent of his, and that’s lovely for him and for his fans.

But here’s the thing: I’ve heard plenty of people say they’ve encountered Chris at a book signing or some other event, and that he was delightful and super sweet to them.

Here’s a guy who has been assaulted at movie theaters, trapped in elevators, and generally been harassed by fans repeatedly over the years. If it were me? I would hole up in my house and never leave. I would snap at every single person I encountered, so distrustful would I be of the outside world. I’d be the crazy hermit-lady.

But no. He still does book tours, and spends HOURS smiling at people and being genuinely nice to them. I’ve never heard anyone say he was unkind when they interacted with him. Might he try to avoid some of those situations in the first place? Yeah, probably. But he still handles it with about 1000 times more grace than I think I would be able to muster in his shoes. If I knew that, in going to something like the Upfronts, fans would be shoving cameras in my face and recording their five-second interaction with me and screaming COMPLETELY inappropriate questions at me just trying to “catch” me saying something… Good lord, I’d feign some kind of tragic illness without a single regret. It gives me so much secondhand discomfort on his behalf (on behalf of all of the celebrities, really), just thinking about it.

He has every right and reason to be guarded, between whatever aspects of his personality make him so inclined, and the shit he’s encountered by being “well known.” Ugh, I would HATE to be “well known.”

Look, I’m a fan. I like it when he shares slices of his life with us on Instagram. I like it when he chooses to make himself accessible, whether he does it for his own personal reasons or for publicity-related ones. I think he seems like a smart, funny, interesting guy and I’d like to think it would be fun to have a conversation with him some day, but so long as the celebrity/fan dynamic is intact, that’s probably not going to happen.

But when it comes right down to it, he doesn’t owe me a thing beyond basic human decency just because I watch his show and buy his books.

the fucking video
  • L: All good for the chicken, Al?
  • Al?: Ohhhhh yeahhh
  • L: Yeah Buddy!
  • Al: Yeahh
  • L: Is that what we were talking about?
  • Z?: Oh. That's ahead (a head?)
  • everyone all at once: blahdkaeroiuasdkfj that's a head. thats a good head. good head...????????
  • Al?: well we got a full chicken
  • L: Niiiice
  • Z: Haha
  • ?: it's a ten? (tech?)
  • ?: Yeah but. we can take this to jamaica. so. we don't have anything in jamaica set up.
  • Al: yeah?
  • ?: yeah
  • ?: we got one hits?
  • ?: yeah, well we're gonna..
  • ?: alright
  • ?: are we allowed to (tag, tech, tan, take, tape, ?) contraband in this?
  • L: yes. of course. that's what it's about.
  • everyone all at once: blariohgidihsfpsoijenklsjdafsd soft point? i really listened to this bit literally 25 times. i got nothin.
  • L: so here we are. leaving peru. joint lit. happy days. whatcha think zayn? about that kind of content?
  • ?: we've got better....blarghity blargh
  • Z: i don't think it's very controversial
  • L: say again, ah?
  • Everyone: blarghity blargh
  • L: OH my god. that's the police. that's the po po.
  • Z: driver looks a bit like (sue, soup, stu, suit, suits, ?)
  • Driver?: Here we go guys
  • L: nice
  • ?: blarghity blargh
  • L: trying to blow into the camera
  • Z: *singing* baby look what you've done to me
  • L: smoke screen baby
  • Z: *singing* baby look what you've done...nah
  • L: that's just zayn warmin up there before the show.
  • Z: *singing* random notes
  • L: zayn takes his job very seriously. he made sure. he goes through a 2 hour intense warm up regime before every show. just to get himself in the zone.
  • Z: still singing random silly notes and noises
  • L: one very very important factor to zayn's warm up, of course, is mary jane. herself.
  • Z: singing a song i don't know
  • L: which i will present him now. this is fantastic singing.
  • Z: *singing* Mary J. Blige
  • L: how is it zayn?
  • Z: *making a (contented/approving) face while smoking
  • L: nice.
  • ?: ppl talking about navigation/directions ithink. i caught a 'next exit' i'm pretty sure.
  • L: thats the po po. One - Nil. (as motorcycle cop rides by their van)
  • L: get a bit of the culture in. (i took this sarcastically as they're literally watching the city go by through van windows whilst moving)
  • Z: coughs
  • L: hows that kind of culture? (pointing camera at the joint)
  • Z: great culture. its gonna be even better culture when we get to jamaica.
  • ?: just got an update
  • L: update?
  • ?: we've got chicken in chile
  • L: CHICKEN IN CHILE. bew bew bew bewbewbew bew bew bew bewbewbew
  • ?: chile chicken
  • ?: chile chicken baby
  • ?: *singing* yeah baby
  • L: that's the po po (hearing sirens) two - nil
  • Z: relighting the joint
  • ?: J - A - R - A - M - I - L - L - O
  • Z: (kind of rapping?) I know you like (dick, dat, dis, dicks) BEEPED OUT
  • L: ehhheheheheh
  • Z: OOOOH beeped out
  • L: OooOOooh (kind of like a creepy old man?)
  • ?: beeped out
  • L: (hey, harry, narry, ?) brah. im chillin (impersonating zayn?) oh my god bro. my heads wrecked. (swooping camera in a dizzy way)
  • Z: looks around in a kind of robotic way?
  • L: *laughs*
  • ?: why are you fucking smoking cigarettes motherfucker
  • L: *laughs*
  • ?: its supposed to be green only BEEPED OUT
  • L: ITS GREEN ONLY... Nick (some people hear NIG. i don't. )
  • tape is cut
  • L: i'm just wondering now...
  • Z: its beautiful damn peru
  • L: i'm sat here in peru wondering will this come back to me (pans camera to point at joint zayn is holding) who knows. maybe. maybe not.
  • L: (sees police motorcycle ride by) he's having a look he's thinking i'm SURE i can smell an illegal substance in there. and he's hit the nail on the head.
  • tape is cut
  • Z: then he showed me Kid Rock's last book
  • ?: 10 minutes away bro
  • Z: and his book its about twice the size. hard back. black. simple writing. the whole thing just filled with sick pictures. and there's a caption from like each place. no bullshit (beeped out)
  • L: yeah
  • Z: no like 'my favorite color's blue' (in a puppety voice?) 'my favorite (tea, team, pee, ?) is red' (again with the weird voice mocking the stupidity of the 'fun facts') 'if i was invisible for a day I would switch people's bones' ya know. none of that. and then just literally just all sick pictures and it looks bad (the good kind of bad) and he's basically putting the picture on the front of next year's book....
  • L: nice. oh sick. (interrupting zayn so i couldn't get the rest of his sentence about kid rock's book.) sick. you heard it here first then.
  • Z: you did (pointing finger guns at louis)
  • L: *gets joint passed from front of the van* Oh Stubbsy! (i couldn't make this shit up.)
  • tape is cut
  • Z: and every time you look in it you just think BEEP i've never even seen that picture and that's a that's a bad photo (again... i think he's using bad for good here) full of sick BEEP instead of boring crap.
  • L: yeah i know. same old BEEP. that i'm SURE the fans are bored of reading.
  • Z: they wanna know what we're up to NOW man. we're not into pink books man.
  • Z: Kid Rock's smokin a J in one of the pictures, right
  • L: yeah
  • Z: and he's got gold (cough, cough from someone up front) on his middle finger which is a bit weird, but, aside from that, he's stickin his middle finger up with a J in his mouth and that's one of the pictures in the book
  • L: sick.
  • L: *arriving wherever they're arriving* here we BEEEP go
  • Z: check the guy out with the chair *pointing outside the van*

anonymous asked:

Should riarkle shippers be concerned about the fact that Riley/Farkle's dynamic is similar to Riley/Maya's? I'm a little worried that they're trying to get the point across that Farkle is like the male version of Maya to Riley.. but I don't know.

Go watch Feeny & Lila’s wedding vows and tell me if you still think a remarkably close and intimate friendship is a harbinger of doom for potential romance down the line in Jacobsland. (BMW 6x22 ‘State of the Unions’).

Is there anybody Cory is closer to than Shawn or Topanga? Nooooope. Not even Eric!

Here comes a tangent:

Remember that whole bit from Jacobs at one of the tapings this year (I think it was GMTM but I forget) about how if you have one close friend you’re lucky, if you have two you’re super lucky, and if you say you have three you’re lying? Frankly I kinda think that’s the key to solving the puzzle of “gravity” and how the core four (and maybe Zay and Smackle too) could possibly last forever and avoid the fate of the fractured BMW friend group.

Let’s say everybody gets two “extraordinary relationships.” You might have other good friends, but you only get two of the Big Ones. Like Cory, you get one BFF (a Shawn) and one romantic partner or RP (a Topanga). The OGs lost Angela because Shawn lost her and apparently neither Cory nor Topanga had a strong enough relationship with Angela in their own right to keep her from “floating away.” Now Shawn’s got Katy and she’s what “keeps him here” in NYC, and thus back with his original “extraordinary relationship” aka Cory. Topanga and Shawn are close friends, yes, but ultimately Cory is their “gravity.” They’re Mr. & Mrs. Cory.

Topanga⬅️RPs➡️Cory⬅️BFFs➡️Shawn⬅️RPs➡️Katy (and of course Topanga and Katy are friends in their own right, which makes it a loop although it’s arguable as to whether they’re “extraordinary” or not, but TBH to some degree I think maybe that’s what the show is going for with all the Topanga/Katy stuff.)

As things stand with the kids right now, Farkle could easily “float away.”

Riley and Maya’s “gravity” is their best friendship. This is really the only 100% absolute GIVEN in the construct I’m about to lay out aside from MAYBE Lucas & Zay’s BFF dynamic, but even that’s not as solid as Riley/Maya because there’s also Farkle.

So, we begin with Riley and Maya, as we should. If Lucas is truly meant to be Riley’s “true love” or whatever, then at some point he must usurp not only Maya, but also FARKLE in terms of friendship with Riley. Because you can only have two Big Ones, according to MJ. And long runner romances are rooted in friendship in Jacobsland (see Feeny & Lila’s vows, among other things). So it’s not a stretch to say that your RP has to be your other closest friend aside from your ultimate platonic BFF.

As of now, here’s the “gravity:”

Maya ⬅️BFFs➡️Riley ⬅️RPs➡️Lucas⬅️BFFs➡️Zay

Farkle and Smackle “float away” in this configuration unless you replace Zay with Farkle as Lucas’s ultimate BFF. In which case Zay floats away. You could get Zay back by making him Maya’s RP, but right now that’s ostensibly gonna be Josh one day. No matter how you tweak it, making Lucas Riley’s 2nd “extraordinary relationship” means you’re probably losing somebody based on the narrative so far. Unless you think Maya and Farkle stand a chance of becoming romantic, but that no sparks high five was kind of a ship killer.

So what if we switch out Lucas for Farkle as Riley’s RP? Then we get:


Which is essentially the OT3, and you COULD close that loop with Maya and Farkle as BFFs, but then Maya’s got two BFFs and no RP, which is sad. You could get Lucas back by slotting him in as Maya’s RP (which brings back Zay too as Lucas’s BFF), but that still leaves Smackle out unless she’s RP for Zay or BFFs for Farkle. You could also get Lucas back by making him BFFs with Farkle, but then you lose Zay as Lucas’s BFF. And as of now, again: Josh is in the RP “someday” slot for Maya and we have no idea whether he’s got a best friend or not. Plus he’s got blood kin ties to Riley, so does he really need non-blood “gravity” to keep him from “floating away?” 🤔

There are a ton of combinations, but based on the narrative so far…ultimately I think this is maybe what it’s “meant to be” for the core four (even though I’m still pretty iffy on endgame stuff, if we get more than one I think it’ll look something like this):


And you can close the loop there with Farkle and Lucas as BFFs OR you can get Zay back by having him as Lucas’s BFF. Then you can get Smackle back by having her as Farkle’s BFF or Zay’s RP…or both, maybe, which would close the loop:

Zay⬅️BFFs➡️Lucas⬅️RPs➡️Maya⬅️BFFs➡️Riley⬅️RPs➡️Farkle⬅️BFFs➡️Smackle(⬅️RPs➡️Zay, if you wanna close the loop)

These kids are “all pieces of a puzzle that comes together to make a picture.” And if they don’t want to “float away” from each other, they gotta figure out who they all really are and how they all TRULY “fit together” if they wanna last forever and avoid the fate of the BMW friend group—which, if you’ll recall, involved Shawn basically “floating away” for over a decade when he “couldn’t keep up” with Cory and Topanga.

Anyway, this isn’t like some ironclad theory or anything I’m married to, it’s just a thought/tangent.

What Normal Viewers Think of Grant Ward
  • I'd like to point out something really important. After constant debate on Tumblr, I decided to ask my parents (who are casual viewers;--they don't ship anything, watch previews ahead of time, etc.--they just watch the episode when it comes out.) what they thought about the Grant Ward subject. (We happened to be discussing evil characters, so it seemed appropriate.)
  • My mom loves Joss Whedon--she's watched everything by him. Yet, she hates ships, unless they're completely platonic and is about a parent/kid relationship.
  • My step-dad basically watches AoS because he loves Marvel (he's read the comics and such) and loves action stuff.
  • -
  • I questioned them on Grant Ward. This is their response:
  • -
  • Me: What do you think about Grant Ward?
  • Mom: What about him?
  • Me: Do you think he's a true villain?
  • Mom: It's a Joss Whedon show. It's like his favourite twist to make a beloved character turn "lost".
  • Step-Dad: An evil person would've killed the dog. That's how you know if they're evil. It's common knowledge that to show someone killing a dog, than the audience should REALLY hate him. I think that's why they showed Ward NOT killing the dog. It's villain-code for "not actually a villain".
  • Me: ...Thanks for your input...?
  • Mom: There's bound to be a redemption. Wouldn't be a Whedon show without it.
  • Me: Maman, do you think Ward killed Buddy?
  • Mom: He shot the gun in the air...the dog ran away.
  • Me: Than who killed Buddy?
  • Mom: Buddy died?
  • Step-Dad: Yeah, remember? There was that scene where the target was on Buddy.
  • Mom: OH! That's right! But Buddy still didn't die. The shot from the shotgun was never fired.
  • Step-Dad: Buddy died.
  • Mom: No, he didn't. We never saw Buddy go down.
  • Me: Not the point! Who held the sniper?
  • Step-Dad: Garrett.
  • Mom: Pretty sure it was Garrett.
  • Me: Okay. So you're sure that Grant Ward is good?
  • Mom: Definitely. *whispers* Joss Whedon.
  • Step-Dad: I guess? Not good, but not evil.
  • Me: Then why did he threaten to rape Skye?
  • Mom: What?
  • Step-Dad: When did this happen?
  • Mom: Is this from a Season 2 preview or something?
  • Me: I think this answers my question...
  • Me: It was in Season 1.
  • Step-Dad: Are you watching the same show?
  • Me: Oh, these aren't what I think. I'm just taking the best arguments for "Why Grant Ward is Evil" on Tumblr.
  • Step-Dad: Are THEY watching the same show??
  • Me: I ask myself that every day.
  • Mom: What scene is it even referring to?
  • Me: Umm...the one in the finale where Skye was holding that guy hostage with a bomb strapped to him and Ward comes in and holds her at gunpoint.
  • Step-Dad: When Raina sent him?
  • Me: Garrett sent him. But yes.
  • Step-Dad: Yeah, but Garrett sent him and he went because of what Raina said.
  • Mom: That scene is about her being a monster like him...when did rape come in?
  • Me: That's what I'm asking you.
  • Mom: You're making my head hurt...
  • Step-Dad: People on Tumblr are weird.
  • Me: That's offensive!
  • Step-Dad: You're extremely weird.
  • -
  • And the rest is unrelated. Blah blah blah. Basically, I wanted to show the point of view of someone who casually watches and doesn't stalk Tumblr to know what everyone else's opinions on characters are.

anonymous asked:

This is kind of off topic, but what do you think of the adultery aspect of the Ichabbie ship? I love Ichabbie, I definitely ship them, and I don't ship Ichabod/Katrina at all (they're just so meh), but I admit the adultery thing does make me a little uncomfortable. I'm afraid to talk about this bc I don't want to be accused of being racist (I'm not; I'd be uncomfortable with this in any ship, I just can't really stop myself from shipping ichabbie).

I’ve always hated and been uncomfortable with shipping married people (both in and out of their marriage tbh - shipping two people who are married to each other is just boring and never works for me, but that’s beside the point) - rooting for the end of a marriage feels a little ghoulish, no matter how little I think about the custom on the whole, and I don’t really enjoy that “taudry affair” aspect - while I may find the angst of it a little hot if I turn my brain off for a while, it only works briefly and when reality sets in I’m back to “eww no”. The only time I’m ever for it on shows is if it’s resolved quickly (couple meets, one of them is married but as soon as they realize they’re in love the married person divorces without a bunch of dawdling and then everything’s cool) but it being TV that’s rarely the case. 

Luckily though that’s not the problem with Ichabbie for me. I’ve been insistent on wanting them to remain platonic until Ichabod’s marriage to Katrina plays itself out, as I feel it will and must both in terms of in the story and for the sake of the show. I don’t want Ichabbie to even really realize - suspect maybe but not fully and truly realize - that they have feelings for each other beyond the deep affection of a close friendship and respect for each other as partners and fellow warriors, until Katrina is out of the picture. I want this for the integrity of the Ichabbie ship, for the … romance, I guess?, of it - I want their story to be theirs and not tangled up in Ichatrina any more than it already is.

From an anti-racist perspective there would be something powerful and important in having the white male lead leave his white wife for the black female lead, in having him choose Abbie over Katrina, and I do want that too in a way, but I worry it would end up backfiring on Abbie. I just don’t have enough faith in people to think they wouldn’t totally put that on Abbie, that they wouldn’t make her out to be a “man-stealer” or “temptress”, that she wouldn’t recieve even more hate if that happened and she’s already getting way too much. And again, while I don’t feel too strongly about marriage myself, I think this would be less of an issue/worry if Ichabod wasn’t married so since he is I lean towards the “in due time” scenario. 

Right now there is no adultery to speak of. Even ignoring the fact that Ichatrina isn’t even technically married (as they’re both legally dead and have each been technically dead in different ways) since they both consider themselves married, nothing untoward has happened between Ichabbie, nothing that constitutes adultery. I suppose you can argue emotional adultery in that there are some un-platonic feelings brewing there, but they’re still deeply buried and completely unacted upon and they’re both oblivious to them. 

So I say ship, ship but with patience - ship and enjoy the slow burn of it. It’s hard to pace yourself (I’ve always been terrible at it and am baffled I’m even going for it now, but idk, maybe I’m finally maturing with age?) and just enjoy watching the first sparks of a potential relationship without yelling “JUST BONE ALREADY” at the screen, but that’s what fanfic is for! Meanwhile we can revel in how deeply they care about each other and how much they need in each other, how incredibly close they’ve gotten so incredibly fast. There’s so much trust and love and affection and respect there, it’s a great foundation for them to build a relationship on once the time is right. And we’re getting so many shippy moments, without rushing forward, and that’s the perfect way to do a ship imo. I can go slow, as long as we see them together and they keep being cute together. (Although I wouldn’t mind a fakeout/dream/doesn’t-count-kiss sometime this season. I’m not THAT patient.)

Best of all, they already kinda act/function like a couple without the making out, and that is the type of ship where the writers can (if they’re smart and don’t panic) just put them together eventually without the dynamic of the show really changing dramatically. If/when Ichabbie gets together, it’ll basically be like they are now but with kissing - there’s no need to worry about the dreaded mythical (and completely bogus) Moonlighting Curse, as long as they don’t freak out. 

anonymous asked:

Can I ask if when people refer to bronies poorly if they're referring to a certain kind of brony? I like to consider myself a brony, not the kind that sexualizes, but just the kind that enjoys everything about the show. Basically I'm just not understanding all the hate.

Well, when we say that, it’s not that we want Bronies not to enjoy the show.

We just want them to keep it safe.

The overwhelming majority of the Bronies are known for drawing porn, and have an overall misogynistic, ignorant and even queerphobic attitudes. There is also that belief some of them hold the show belongs to them rather than the little girls it was intended for. 

It wouldn’t be like this if people didn’t see this kind of content and behavior out there, easily where children can find it no less. (there was one incident where when a child google searched an MLP a lot of the pulled up content was…really gross and not safe. People have taken movements now to flag it but regardless that should not have happened.)

We’re also a fandom that’s LARGELY queer and to have a group of people that basically hate us because we’re “those darn sjws” try and take over is also scary.

The show is intended for the younger crowd but older audiences can watch and enjoy it. Men can watch it too and but it’s not necessary to diverge themselves from the fandom using the term “brony” because….it’s for everyone. You can be proud to be a MLP fan without singling yourself out.

It’s probably not your intention to mean the following but adding bro- before anything ‘feminine’ or intended for females is kind of indication of fragile ego when it comes to liking media.

the term “brony” is like…”WOw we’re so great, we watch a show that DOESN’T cater to us so we are brave and everyone should know that so we must single ourselves out” 

yeah you like things society is supposed to make you think you shouldn’t like, rad,  but you’re uncomfortable so you add a bro- to it but  you don’t need a pronoun to make it manly!

you can just like the show. we’re all already aware you can like what you like.

Brony has already become a big label though so there’s no need to fight it, but I’m just trying to point out why starting “Brogems” and “Gemtelmen” is completely unnecessary and shouldn’t happen.

anonymous asked:

So I've been thinking (Hardcore Lucaya shipper) they said that the endgame pairing is unexpected. So cross out R//cas b/c it seems expected. I mean yeah Lucaya is unexpected on some levels but the most unexpected ships I'm thinking of are Josh/Maya and Riley/Zay or even Maya/Farkle. Because all are unexpected and they want it to go for 7 seasons or more. Although I'm hoping for Lucaya endgame I feel like they're gonna pull a 'How I met your mother' on us.

I definitely agree about Rucas. I think they’ll develop their friendship, but romantically, they’re not endgame.

I’ve been thinking about the whole concept of the endgame being ‘unexpected’ and I think that what’s considered “unexpected” depends on the type of viewer a person is. GMW gets somewhere between 2-3 million viewers per week (plus add in people who join the show later, etc). And while over here in the land of Tumblr, Lucaya seems so obvious, I don’t think that’s the case with the casual viewer. And I think a majority of viewers are casual viewers (as is the case with most TV shows). I watched GM Texas with my mom (who casually tunes in) and she finished Texas Part 3 with the impression of ‘The Lucaya date was awkward, they won’t work out dating, Lucas still likes Riley and they will get back together at some point etc’. So while Lucaya is growing (and therefore seems less unexpected), they’re still not the obvious pair for the general audience I think (and Riarkle is probably way off most of the general viewing audience’s radar–my mom’s reaction to the Riarkle scene was ‘he’s such a supportive friend’, but she didn’t really see potential for anything else).

Maya/Farkle would be one of the most unexpected, but I can’t see them doing it though. Sure the endgame can be surprising, but somewhere in the story there has to be justification for it. Between the high five moment and the fact the Farkle is starting to care more for Riley (or at least differently), I think the writers have shut down the Markle avenue (unless they changes paths in the storyline again, but idk they seem to have something long term planned out already).

While I think Lucaya is definitely going to happen (there’s definitely plenty of evidence for it), I’m not totally sure they’re endgame either (though I’m hoping). The only endgame I have a gut feeling about is Riarkle. It’s just such a nice slowwwwwww build. They’re really setting it up nicely. There’s enough there so that when it happens it won’t be like “wait what that makes no sense” but it’s also subtle enough that when it happens it will be like “oh omg this makes sense, I should have seen this coming” [for the non Tumblr viewers].

Riley/Zay–they have definitely left things in the story line in case they want to go there (i.e. his first scene in Secret of Life) but who knows if they actually wlll. Josh/Maya, I don’t know. I can’t see it happening. They definitely wouldn’t do it until the age issue is settled (so, way down the line). (Also if Maya ever married Josh, she’d be Cory and Eric’s sister in law and that is just too weird for me to think about lol).

Basically, while I think they are going to go down the unexpected route, they’re not going to sacrifice the story line and do it totally out of left field (i.e. maya/farkle, maya/zay, etc). I think endgame might be more unexpected for the casual viewers than the Tumblr fans. :)