they're all little shits to me

rowana-renee-deactivated  asked:

How many cookies would it take to bribe you into telling me a story, Bucky? They're homemade, and any story will do.

all of them. i will tell you the story while i wait for all of the cookies.

once upon a time, a little shit decided to go fight nazis. 

usually when i start a story that way, its a steve story. but this time its a me story.

i too fought nazis, my friend, and it was not fun at all.  it turns out nazis dont like being fought, and will fight back. this caused us a great deal of stress and trenchfoot. 

as you may or may not know, my nazi fighting buddies were called the howling commandoes. we had a reputation as being ‘howling mad’ which most people assumed is where our name came from. 

it is not.

so shortly after we’d signed up as steves unit, we got sent out on a sort of breaking-in mission. it was supposed to be a pretty routine just-behind-enemy-lines gig, mostly to see how we’d do as a team. at that point, we were the first ‘integrated’ squad under american command, so they wanted to be sure we were up to snuff. basically they sent us a few miles into a relatively lightly-fortified occupied area to blow up a few supply trucks. it went pretty smoothly. we were still getting to know each other, a bit. we’d met in the hydra camp in austria and bonded pretty well there but it wasnt like we were sitting around doing icebreaker questions. so on that first mission we spent a lot of time chatting, getting a better feel for each other as people. like summer camp, but with more potential for death, and shooting of nazis, explosions, and overgrown science experiments in spangly pants. 

so maybe not like summer camp at all.  i wouldnt know, i never went to summer camp. 

anyways, we blew up the supply trucks and we were headed back towards base when we came across a nice little stream. most of us were pretty dirty, so we agreed to take a few minutes, strip down and wash up. the area we were in was supposed to be secure; it was a slightly disputed border area, but it had been safely in allied hands for months. probably it wasn’t the smartest call, but sometimes you get dirt places you never wanted dirt and are willing to literally risk death to get rid of that dirt. 

we left our gear in a little stand of trees on the far side of the stream and washed up. 

at this point, dumdum dougan was establishing his reputation as the Toughest Guy Ever, which was a rough gig when one of your squadmates is captain america, who literally walks off bullet wounds like a moron. nevertheless, dumdum had the mustache and was determined to be the manliest man around, so when the rest of us got in, clean, and back out as fast as we could manage, because the water was freezing, dumdum decided to prove how macho he was by pretending he wasnt cold at all, and the rest of us were wimps. 

naturally, the rest of us thought he was ridiculous. we were all pretty much dressed and good to go, and dumdum was still sitting in an ice-cold stream in april, bragging about how tough he was. i, being a little shit, covertly suggested we play a little prank. 

so the rest of us finished gearing up, then grabbed his things and started running. his pack, his gun, his boots…all his clothes except his hat, which was hanging off the handle of a knife he’d stuck in the tree. we knew he’d stop to get the hat, and that gave us a head start.

as soon as we started running, dumdum came out of the stream after us, and as expected, stopped to get his hat and knife. we had a decent head start, and he was yelling at the top of his lungs after us. we were all laughing our heads off, because he looked like a complete idiot, running after us brandishing a knife, in nothing but a bowler hat. 

unbeknownst to us, a nazi squad had been sneaking through the woods ahead of us, and were setting up an ambush on one of our transport trucks. they were all tucked away in the underbrush, waiting for the transport to get close enough, and had just popped out of the shrubbery and fired their first couple shots.

which was approximately when a ragtag-looking, still-wet group of cackling maniacs led by the bastard child of paul bunyan and lady liberty burst out of the treeline, being chased by an angry naked man in a bowler hat with a knife. 

there was a very long moment when everyone stopped shooting at everyone else and stared at us. 

and then everyone went back to shooting at everyone else.  but the ambush was angled to ensnare the transport coming up the road. we came from behind them, and they had pretty much no cover from our angle. as soon as we realized we’d run into a combat zone, we dropped the gear and started shooting. steve used the dinner platter of justice and cleared out about four nazis at once, and dumdum got the worlds unluckiest nazi with his knife. poor guy. there’s not a whole lot worse than your last sight on earth being a naked dumdum dougan.

 we’d unintentionally provided a perfect distraction, and the transport had time to regroup and return fire. between us, the ambush was taken care of in a few minutes. 

but the thing was, we’d broken protocol by stopping to wash up, and as a shiny new unit still on probation, the last thing we wanted was to tell anyone what had actually happened. 

so instead we told them that we’d known about the ambush and had decided to provide a distraction, and were just crazy enough that we thought the best way to do that was run howling straight into it. dumdum’s nudity was explained as a personal preference: the man just likes fighting nazis naked, sir, and you cant say it wasnt effective??

naturally, the story went everywhere and got bigger each time it was told. probably we should have gotten in tons of trouble but the story was such a morale booster that they let it slide. 

and thats why we were called the howling commandoes. 



Right? Cold beer. Grown men on skates. What’s not to love?

old souls locked. and maybe loaded. whatever outfits or symbols they wear.

(This doodle had been sitting unfinished for more than a month. Now it’s a humble dedication to that most amazingest of amazing AUs that will never NOT haunt me in all the best frickin ways.)

Light and Water: 12/7 - clickclickBANG

@segadores-y-soldados , you rock my little reader’s heart’s socks!

I don’t really see Caroline and GLaDOS as the same person. I know Caroline was used to create GLaDOS, but I personally see them as separate characters. If I had to describe it, I’d say I see Caroline as being the building blocks used to create GLaDOS, who became her own person with her own experiences and relationships.  However, I think they’re definitely very similar, and likely share opinions on a lot of things.

Which leads me to the idea that I really want to do something with but never have: Caroline hanging around GLaDOS like a ghost.  GLaDOS is the only person who can see/hear her, as Caroline only exists in GLaDOS’s mind.

This results in a mixture of bonding, bickering, and Caroline popping up at the worst possible times.

When GLaDOS is lonely, upset, or just getting on a bad train of thought, Caroline is often there to talk her out of it.  But just as she’s helpful, she also likes to show up whenever GLaDOS is trying to have a moment with her mute lunatic.

“Are you flirting? You are, aren’t you? Oh you like her, I knew it. A good catch too, just do try not to scare her off with your… attitude.”

“Sorry, is this a bad time? I just thought I should mention that if I were the one kissing her, I’d try to be a little less stiff. You look like a statue.”

TL;DR  Caroline is GLaDOS’s not-so-imaginary friend who likes to talk about science, make witty comments, and sometimes give dating advice.

anonymous asked:

FUCK parents who force their clearly uncomfortable child to ask questions or order for themselves. Yes it's important for kids to learn to do these things but forcing them to when they're not comfortable is only going to cause problems.




My mom used to do that shit to me and it only made my anxiety WORSE. If retail has done anything for me it’s made me a little less shy. All I have to do is put on my customer service persona. But that doesn’t work 100% of the time. Especially around coworkers. -Abby

take this burden - 47

[ keep or lose - bronze radio return ]

‘It’s time to make some choices’


He Tian handed Mo Guan Shan the glass of water the nurse had left, watching him take a small sip and put it down on the table next to the bed.

Dark bruises were slowly forming under his eyes.

He looked exhausted.

He Tian wanted to hurt someone.

Before he could so much as open his mouth to speak, Jian Yi knocked lightly on the doorframe.

‘Zhengxi has some questions for you, He Tian.’

‘Can it wait?’


He Tian assured Mo Guan Shan he’d be back as soon as he could and left the room.

Jian Yi took his place next to the bed, fixing the tangle of tubes and wires on the bed.

‘Mo Guan Shan, what the fuck were you thinking?’ He asked quietly.

‘What do you mean?’ Mo Guan Shan asked, surprised by the question.

‘Why would you go outside with him? What good could possibly have come from that?’

Mo Guan Shan looked away.

‘I…I thought if I talked to him I could get him to leave.’

Jian Yi took a deep breath, trying to keep him temper under control.

‘Really? Because your track record of being alone with him is just fucking stellar, right?’

‘No, I mean-’

‘No.’ Jian Yi interrupted.

‘You put yourself in danger, you put Zhengxi’s job at jeopardy because we all know he’ll tell whatever lie he deems necessary to keep this from becoming a real fucking problem and, worst of all, you put He Tian in a situation he can not handle rationally. I don’t know you well, Mo Guan Shan, but I didn’t think you were that fucking stupid. That fucking selfish.’

Mo Guan Shan’s blood ran cold. His heartbeat was the loudest thing in his head as he fought the childish urge to cry.

He didn’t know what he’d expected from this conversation, but it wasn’t this.

‘I didn’t ask for this, Jian Yi. I didn’t ask for He Tian’s help. Or yours. Or Zhengxi’s. You didn’t have to do any of this. You still don’t.’

Jian Yi laughed bitterly.

‘But he did. We did. He Tian clearly cares for you, so we do too, but this is the second time in less than two weeks that we’ve all covered for you and your recklessness. I don’t know about them, but I won’t be doing it again.’

Mo Guan Shan searched for the right response, for any response, but came up empty.

‘Jian Yi.’ Came He Tian’s voice from the hallway.

Mo Guan Shan turned his face away as Jian Yi stood, pushing the chair back, and shoved past He Tian.

He Tian followed him down the hall, nearly running into him when he stopped suddenly.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ He Tian demanded.

‘You’re being fucking stupid, He Tian. This shit between the two of you, it’s not healthy.’

He Tian raised his eyebrows.

‘I thought you’d understand this, considering…’

‘What Zhengxi and I have was born our of years of friendship and patience. Yours popped into existence in an alleyway a fucking week ago. He was hurt. You rescued him, hurting his abuser in the process. Have you considered that, possibly, this has been fueled by adrenaline? Loneliness? Perceived obligation?’

He Tian cocked his head to the side, nostrils flaring.

Fucking brutal.

‘I have, yeah.’ He Tian tried to keep his tone indifferent.

‘This is chaos, He Tian.’

‘I know.’

‘You shouldn’t want a relationship like this. You shouldn’t be so ready to go back to how you used to be.’

‘Shouldn’t I?’ He asked.


‘For fuck’s sake, I don’t HAVE anyone that’s loved me since I was a kid. Even if I still knew anyone I’d met when I was five years old, do you think they’d still be around? In case you haven’t noticed, people don’t seem to like me much once they get to know me.’

‘I do.’

‘You caught me on the tail end of that shit, believe it or not.’

‘You almost fucking died.’

‘It was hardly the first time.’ He Tian spat.

Jian Yi blinked at him in shock.

That’s right, fucker, here’s some devastating news I’ve fastidiously kept from you for years to avoid breaking your heart.


He continued, knowing he was making it worse bin unable to stop himself.

‘I haven’t always been quite this likable and pleasant, you know. Why do you think I never bring anyone to dinner? Never tell you about anyone I bring home? I don’t know anything about them and they don’t know anything about me. I don’t care and neither do they. They like the way I look and I like that they don’t ask questions.’

‘So, what’s different now?’ he demanded.

Jian Yi was on the verge of tears, still reeling from his confession.

He hated it when Jian Yi cried and hated himself for being the reason.

‘I don’t know. Maybe is IS the adrenaline. Or the loneliness. Maybe I’m just going soft, but it feels an awful lot like what you assholes call love. It is chaos. I’m working on that.’

‘I just want you to be happy.’ Jian Yi argued, breath hitching mid sentence.

‘I know you do. Thank you. But your idea of happiness doesn’t exist in my world right now.’

‘You’re going to fuck this up. Everything you have going for you, everything you’ve worked so hard for, you’re going to throw it away on someone you barely fucking know.’

‘You’re not exactly in a position to give me relationship advice.’


That was a low blow.

Too low.

He Tian wished he could snatch the words from the air the second they slipped past his lips.

Jian Yi flushed, quickly wiping away the tears that fell onto his cheeks.

‘Fuck you, He Tian.’ He whispered.

He Tian walked around him, giving him a wide berth, only to be stopped by Zhengxi as he rounded the corner.

‘What’s going on here?’ He demanded, looking past He Tian to where Jian Yi stood, shoulders hunched and shaking with silent sobs.

‘Move.’ He Tian told him.

‘Tell me what’s going on.’ Zhengxi insisted, stopping him with a hand on his chest.

He Tian shoved his hand away.

‘What the fuck is going on?’

‘Are you going to arrest me, Zhengxi?’
‘W-what? No…’

‘Then get the fuck out of my way, and stay away from him.’

Zhengxi held his hands up in passive surrender and watched him go.

He Tian drove back to the apartment, gathering Mo Guan Shan things.

It took three trips and a short struggle with the cat to transfer everything from Jian Yi and Zhengxi’s apartment to his.

He worked quickly, ignoring the tears that blurred his vision.

made his way back to the hospital and to Mo Guan Shan’s room.

Mo Guan Shan stiffened when he entered the room but didn’t look up from his hands in his lap.

He Tian rifled through the cabinets before perching on the edge of the bed.

In a practiced motion, he placed a cotton ball over the needle holding his IV in place and removed it carefully.

He cleaned the area with an alcohol wipe and applied a bandage.

‘What are you doing?’ Mo Guan Shan asked.

‘We’re leaving.’


‘Do you want to stay here?’ He Tian’s voice was much harsher than he’d intended.

Mo Guan Shan shook his head.

‘Then we’re leaving. The hospital can bill me and we’ll pick up your prescriptions later today.’

‘Where are we going?’

‘Back to my place. You’re going to get some rest and I’m going to end this shit. This is never going to happen again, I’m going to make god damn fucking sure of that.’

‘But, I-’

He Tian cut him off, gently taking Mo Guan Shan’s face in his hands.

‘Never. Again.’

Mo Guan Shan hesitated, still a little dazed.

‘Do you trust me?’ He Tian asked.

‘Completely.’ He answered without a beat.

He Tian helped him to his feet and into his jacket.

‘Then let’s go home.’

  • "You've seem to replace your brain with your heart"
  • "Everyone thinks that we're perfect"
  • "Smile for the picture"
  • "Go back to being plastic"
  • "Kids are still depressed when you dress them up"
  • "He doesn't think I'm that fucking dumb, does he?"
  • "You call that ass your own, we call that silicone"
  • "All the makeup in the world won't make you less insecure"
  • "It's all fun and games 'til somebody falls in love"
  • "You already bought a ticket and there's no turning back now"
  • "Mr. Houdini, you're a freakshow"
  • "You build me up like building blocks just so you can bring me down"
  • "Fuck your degree"
  • "You think you're smarter than me with all your bad poetry"
  • "Why do I always spill?"
  • "God, I wish I never spoke"
  • "I'm sick of all the games I have to play"
  • "I love when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do"
  • "It's not like I'm asking to be your wife!"
  • "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!"
  • "I'll cry until the candles burn down this place"
  • "I'll cry until my pity party's in flames"
  • "He chased me and he wouldn't stop!"
  • "Tag, you're it!"
  • "I'm fucking crazy"
  • "Do you like my cookies? They're made just for you"
  • "A little pit of sugar and lots of poison, too!"
  • "Honey, do you want me now?"
  • "Someone told me 'stay away from things that aren't yours' but was he yours if he wanted me so bad?"
  • "Pacify her! She's getting on my nerves"
  • "You don't love her, stop lying with those words!"
  • "Loving her seems tiring"
  • "Don't be dramatic, it's only some plastic"
  • "No one will love you if you're unattractive!"
  • "Is it true that pain is beauty?"
  • "Will a pretty face make it better?"
  • "Do you swear you'll stay forever?"
  • "Baby soft skin turns into leather"
  • "We paint white roses red, each shade from a different person's head"
  • "This dream is a killer!"
  • "I really hate being safe"
  • "The normals, they make me afraid"
  • "The crazies, they make me feel sane"
  • "I'm not! Baby, I'm mad!"
  • "So what if I'm crazy? The best people are!"
  • "Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong"
  • "You like me best when I'm off my rocker"
  • "All the best people are crazy"
Captain America: Civil War
  • "Did you know about this?"
  • "If you do this, they will never stop being afraid of you."
  • "I can't control their fear, only my own."
  • "Can you move your seat up?"
  • "Couldn't you have done that earlier?"
  • "I hate you."
  • "Clearly retirement doesn't suit you, get tired of playing golf?"
  • "Well, I played 18, I shot 18, just can't seem to miss."
  • "First time for everything."
  • "Made you look."
  • "Anyone ever tell you you're a little paranoid?"
  • "I know you're nervous and you have every right to be, but you're lying."
  • "Do you even remember them?"
  • "I remember them all."
  • "How long are you gonna play both sides?"
  • "Are you incapable of dropping your ego for one god damn second?"
  • "I'm not the one who needs to watch their back."
  • "Are you sure about this?"
  • "I can't trust my own mind."
  • "So you like cats?"
  • "How long do you think you can save your friend from me?"
  • "Well, then... what are you doing here?"
  • "I didn't want you to be alone..."
  • "The people that shoot at you, usually wind up shooting at me."
  • "I don't do that anymore."
  • "Well, the people who think you did are coming here now. And they're not planning on taking you alive."
  • "That's smart. Good strategy."
  • "It always ends in a fight."
  • "Shit! I thought it was a water truck. My bad!"
  • "You seem a little defensive."
  • "Well, it's been a long day."
  • "Oh, you're going to have to take this to the shop!"
  • "Who's speaking?"
  • "It's your conscience. We don't talk a lot these days."
  • "Are we still friends?"
  • "That depends on how hard you hit me."
  • "Give me back my ____!"
  • "I said I would help you find him, not catch him."
  • "What's up tic-tac?"
  • "I can do this all day."
  • "Ugh...what time zone is this?"
  • "Sometimes I just want to punch you in your perfect teeth."
Your laugh makes evil villains look bad
  • Context: last week I ran a one shot for the paladin and the warlock that took place in the shadowfell as a sort of prophetic dream to show them what the shadowfell would be like. As the night went on things got a little weird and now they're facing the repercussions of these memories.
  • Me: roll a knowledge history check to see what you two remember from those dreams you had.
  • Warlock: I got a 12.
  • Me: okay you remember bits and pieces of it. I'll tell you when a relevant memory comes up but right now you identify you're in the shadowfell and it's all dark and spoopy and shit.
  • Paladin screaming: oh fucking shit I got a one.
  • Me: you remember absolutely nothing at all.
  • Warlock: what about the horse dick? Does he remember the horse dick?
  • Me: okay yeah he remembers nothing but the naked guy with a horse dick that he accidentally fondled. Make a constitution save or you're going to be sick.
  • Paladin: oh my fucking god! what the fucking shit I got a 3!
  • Me: you puke violently everywhere.
  • Warlock: can I roll to laugh at him evilly? *rolls a 23*
  • Me: you do the greatest evil laugh ever. You make evil villains with eye patches who stroke cats while telling you their plans for world domination look bad.

canon may say otherwise, but we all know the real reason Splinter gave his kids their masks was so he could color code them and be able to tell them apart.

like me and my siblings all look wildly different- even differing genders- and our parents still mix up our names. if you think human kids are hard, try telling apart four identical scaly little shits that don’t stop looking like clones of one another until they hit puberty.

anonymous asked:

I had to deal with 2 co-workers from hell. I'm autistic, and they thought i was just a stupid white girl who was quiet. They would talk major shit and bitch to the manager about everything. If they asked me how i was feeling and i responded with "i;m a little tired" they would tell the manager "she doesn't want to do her job!" I was able to quite and i hear through the grapevine they're not doing well. They can burn in hell for all i care. Justice is sweet.

Pidge is totally the type of person who would take advantage of their “genius” persona and start sprouting random facts that are total bullshit but everyone believes it because it’s Pidge surely Pidge knows these things.

Pidge: Did you guys know that you can tell if your ancestors were warriors if you can lick your elbow? It’s a mark of flexibility, which was highly prized in warriors and hunters in ancient times.

Lance: Really? Hey Keith! Bet I can lick my elbow and you can’t!

Keith: You’re on!

Shiro walks in ten minutes later to find Keith, Lance, and Hulk all struggling to lick their elbows while Pidge watches and cackles in manic glee. Allura and Coran are convinced that this is some strange earth ritual, and Shiro barely manages to stop them from trying to join in.

Pidge is grounded, but regrets nothing.

the signs as people i know irl
  • aries: the little leader of their friend group. does the hard thing. probably finds a lot of their friends annoying and/or ignorant. is either having the worst or best time of their life, there is no middle ground. shows people new things and then regrets not keeping it to themselves. needs a nap.
  • taurus: wants to fight literally everyone. sometimes says offensive things and has no clue why it was offensive. is probably going through their "random phase" and still uses XD. sends memes in the group chat. is refreshing in the sense that there are still people with kind hearts out there.
  • gemini: always has an excuse for everything, may it be shitty or not. is "afraid of confrontation". about 90% of the conversations with them involve something they're passionate about. picks up phrases that their friends say and say them all the time.
  • cancer: low-key thinks that they are better than most people. plays like thirty million sports. would be the most prepared for a zombie apocalypse. would try to protect their reputation at almost all costs. manipulative to a point but tries their best.
  • leo: more artistically talented than athletically. changes depending on who they are with, may it be texting style or their sense of humor. is smart in one way but completely clueless in another. would do anything for one or two people, even if those people wouldn't do the same for them.
  • virgo: probably has a million unfinished projects. double and then triple and then quadruple texts you. needs space. laughs at literally everything and gets louder as they get more enthusiastic. can't let go of someone, even if they're long gone.
  • libra: really preppy. a full-blown thespian. cringes over the phases and friends that they used to have. has good intentions but sometimes they can fall flat. probably had a cat phase.
  • scorpio: wears a lot of black. is a smartass. isn't afraid to call people out on their bullshit. has the weird "i'm mad at you because you're mad at me" mentality. probably knows all of your secrets. is the friend that you force to interact with people when you're too scared to.
  • sagittarius: that really attractive and really athletic person that you want to hate but they're a sweetheart so you can't. probably prefers having one or two close friends as opposed to a lot of acquaintances. is quiet around people they don't know very well.
  • capricorn: are too afraid to say anything when people talk shit about someone/something that they like. has the weirdest sense of humor ever. a little bit of a perfectionist. has quirks that they thought were normal until someone else pointed them out.
  • aquarius: are exceptional at having people only see the side of them that they want to be shown. can make almost anybody laugh and are probably one of the kindest people you can ever see. are not above bending or breaking the rules so things can work out in their favor.
  • pisces: is tired of being categorized as the crybaby/overemotional sign even though it's really accurate. probably has no clue what is happening. is better at communicating with animals than people. has lots of useless trivia in their head.

anonymous asked:

I honestly think it's so cute that Tom is a little shorter than Z, but just the fact that they're always so happy around each other makes me happy for them. They're cute separately but cuter together lol. Whatever they're calling each other, it's cute af. I see all these haters though, talking about how we tomdaya shippers don't got receipts, but ya'll just keep handing them out. (That video of them at Thanksgiving at Zs house is a big one) Let em talk shit, they mad af.


you can’t tell me that curly hasn’t gone up to tim to ask him some dumbass question just to have tim be all “sorry, tim is not available right now” “who’s tim? get outta here, you curly headed fuck bucket” “tim ran away”

and angela is just sitting on the couch like 5 feet away wondering how she’s related to these fucKING ANIMALs

*Mr. World whistling Tech Boy in*
*Tech Boy doesn’t come in*
*whistles again*
“is he still sulking?”
*Media sighs*
*Mr. World whistles once again*

I mean… the thought of them being his parents makes me so nauseous considering how abusive they are towards him, both of them knock him around a lot (and no matter who the kid is, all powerful technology god and shithead or not, I really hate abusive parents) but oh my fucking god their interactions in this episode are so very much “two parents frustrated with their bratty son” and “son is embarrassed and confused by his overbearing parents’ because-I-said-so logic”

I’m so torn on whether I like the theory or not just because I deeply, deeply hate dynamics where the older, parental figures physically and or verbally abuse the younger kid figure no matter how much the little shit does need a slap

side note: I like the little references to the book with Technical Boy questioning Mr. World’s logic, he did that in the book too and did not end well for him and considering what we’re told about how Tech Boy’s brain works it makes sense for him to call out all this random illogical stuff when Media doesn’t

anonymous asked:

I've seen posts where people are calling the boys out on shit that hasn't even happened, but like a lot of people are jumping the gun and saying that they're all paired up, but like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, nothing has happened yet and it's okay to be a little cautious but that's not even what the concept is about.

It’s just baffling to me how ugly people are being.

We don’t know anything about their relationships with these girls.

We literally KNOW NOTHING yet people have decided to sexualize these girls and amount their importance only to be romantic.

And how do we know it’s not the boys helping these girls? Seeing a part of themselves in them? And wanting to help them? Not the other way around?

There are so many different directions this could all go.

  • Jin: Yoongi, the least you can do is pay for child support, looking after five kids is hard enough.
  • Yoongi: *has earphones in, listening to his new mixtape*
  • Jin: especially if you have one that breaks everything he touches and asks questions about life at 3 am. Another one that never runs out of energy and runs off mumbling about finding his real family of horses. And the twins, don't even get me started, Jimin doesn't let me live and Tae just drags people he meets from bathrooms back home and suddenly declares they're living with us. And the youngest lil shit, just cuz he's my height, and getting stronger, this sly piece of work thinks he owns the place. *rubs temple in frustration*
  • Yoongi: *slowly takes out earphone and blinks twice at Jin*
  • Jin: *starts to cry* but it's all worth it in the end when you see them smile smugly while they stuff their faces with the food you made. And Joonie writes the cutest little poems for me. Each day after school Hobi will find the cutest flowers for me and then cries so much when one of them dies. Jimin is actually so precious, he once surprised me at work by giving me a cake on my birthday that I totally forgot about. Taehyung notices when I'm stressed and puts on his soothing jazz music and slow dances with me. And Jungkook tries to hide it. But I know he's the one that cleans up the house when I don't have time. He even leaves a chocolate on my blanket like they do in hotels. And you know that everything's worth it when you wake up in the middle of the night and you find all the boys had end up sleeping in your bed. Some may be snoring lightly and others latching onto you with a deathly strong grip but you can't help but smile lazily at them in that peaceful state.
  • Yoongi: *widens eyes and pats Jin's back*
  • Jin: you don't know how hard it is when they ask where dad is and you have to reply with he'll be home soon, don't worry. Why can't you come back home? They miss you. *looks up at him*
  • Yoongi: do know I was only away for a year for my tour right? I texted you about it.
  • Jin: no, all you sent me was "see ya later, gonna go slay some girls"
  • Yoongi: I meant my fan girls...
  • Jin: wait, so you you didn't leave me for other girls?
  • Yoongi: no.
  • Jin:
  • Yoongi:
  • Jin: oh....
  • Yoongi: you're an idiot. *facepalms*