they're all awful

So in English we were watching Romeo and Juliet, and just after they both died, this one kid did the mockingjay whistle, and my whole class just freaking lost it

While attempting to describe Kazuma with a d word
  • Me:One's a douchebag name Alexei from Tales of Vesperia, one's a dork name Roku from Avatar: The Last Airbender and uhh...
  • Me:..I can't think of a D word to describe Kazuma 8(
  • Sol :'dorable. Kazuma is 'dorable. 8')
  • Shira:Kazuma is a "double!"
  • LoneRolliStar:Kazuma is a dick.
  • Sol:Kazuma is delicious. with eggs. 89
  • Me:Wow this plurk
  • Me:went from 'dorable, double, dick, and now delicious
  • Sol:I DOUBLE DICK DARE YOU
  • Me:kjashjksahgk
  • Sol:Kazuma is the green slime from Double Dare
  • Me:/CRYING

MY ABSOLUTE FAVE *muffled gagging* is when customers ask me to help install their shit in ready-made frames right there on the counter, like they aren’t proficient enough humans to slide around the little tabs on the back??

this one guy today had me do this and he was like trying to be SUPER BUDDY-BUDDY like, introducing himself and shaking my hand and asking about my life, if i was in school, etc. he also asked my opinion on every frame and was like “lol so what do u think?? do i have an artistic eye?? should i be a framer?? can u get me a box and some bubble wrap to put these in?? can u wrap them up for me bc apparently even that is too taxing for me to do by myself?? can u wipe my ass too??”

i couldn’t decide whether he wanted to kill me and wear my skin as a dress or he just came back from the seventh circle of dad joke hell, but either way, I just DID IT and PACKED UP HIS SHIT SUPER QUICKLY just to make him GO AWAY!!! MY GOD!!

abitofafatass asked:

"Omelette you in on a secret. You and I would brie perfectly gouda. Life would be feta if we were togetha. We'll be grate." Ok, this one even he cant finish without laughing like an asshole,

Ah, fuck. Alright, that one did actually get him to laugh a little. Even after, he’s still kind of grinning like an idiot. Fucking–.

“Enough with the damn food pick ups, please. I can’t handle anymore." 

I fucking hate this house I hate my sisters fucking dogs they ate a fucking vacuum cord in silence so now IM THE ONE WHOS IN TROUBLE ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.
These are not my pets, I didn’t live here for over a year. You don’t pay me to watch them, for one thing, and secondly, I don’t even have to. And I honestly shouldn’t have to. But oh what’s that you don’t have the time to train them? Sure sounds a lot like you don’t have time for them at all. Yet you have two of your own dogs and our family dog all in the same house. And she’s basically yours too. Pay me or be home.