they will be fairly drunk

anonymous asked:

Rfa going out to a bar/ club!

–warning: too much grinding ahead–


  • half an hour in and this boy is already pretty turnt
  • it’s not like he meant to
  • he was just trying so many different things
  • his drink of choice is a cocktail 
    • something that doesn’t taste like alcohol
    • probably something along the lines of a white russian 
  • mc ordered him a sex on the beach
    • he was in love
    • (also he blushed when mc told him the name) 
  • he doesn’t have much experience with alcohol
  • he asks everyone for a sip of what they’re having
  • often recieves strange drinks from saeyoung that he can’t finish because they’re gross
  • once he’s fairly drunk, he’ll stumble out on the dance floor with a little coaxing from seven
  • he dances with everyone in the rfa
  • innocently, of course
  • he’s all limbs and joints
  • two left feet at first
  • but once he feels the music– and this boy feels the music– his moves are pretty good not as bad as everyone would think
  • if he and mc were together, he’d definitely pull the lasso-and-reel-her-in move
    • he would also try (keyword: try) to grind
    • saeyoung demonstrated on him to enforce proper technique
    • poor poor yoosung
    • but actually got the hang of it after awhile
  • his ironic dance move would be the shopping cart
  • if this poor boy gets too drunk though
  • oh man mc will have her hands full trying to keep him together
    • of course she would be the one to take care of her drunk friends
  • yoosung is the type to take everything way worse than it is when he’s too drunk
  • mc seems the littlest bit annoyed?
  • he’s tearing up and apologizing 
  • mc hates me I’m the worst person alive and I don’t deserve her”
  • she eventually coaxes him into a cab after the club
  • takes him to his apartment and tucks him in
  • makes sure he drinks plenty of water and that he’s cleaned up before bed
  • if she herself is a bit drunk and tired, (and if mc and yoosing aren’t already together) she sometimes just curls up in bed with him
  • which leads to a very red and embarrassed yoosung the next morning 


  • this boy doesn’t drink
  • thank god for mc’s sake
    • seven would probably be the worst one to handle out of them all if he’s get too drunk
  • so instead, he occupies his time with ordering drinks for yoosung
  • he makes up crazy concoctions for the bartender to make 
    • Let’s add some of the blue stuff, and oh! Is that coconut flavored? Definitely add that! Peach schnapps! Cherry grenadine! and P.hD PEPPER!!!”
    • rip yoosung and his taste buds
  • most of the night he’s watching over everyone
    • especially mc if they’re together
  • also is a big dancer!
  • and a good one at that
  • he pulls all of the iconic, the ironic, the most cringe-worthy dance moves when he isn’t serious
  • definitely grinds with mc (if they’re together)
    • there’s some extreme groping 
    • lots of sweat
    • certainly a quick rendezvous to a private room somewhere
  • offers to be the carpool at the end of the night!
    • if only the passenger swears on longcat that they won’t puke in one of his babies
    • one time yoosung almost did
    • seven was close to pulling over and leaving his drunk ass on the side of the road


  • we already know that this boy can drink
  • he doesn’t discriminate against any type of alcohol
    • each type is near and dear to his heart
  • he has multiple favorites– it all depends on his mood:
    • shots– tequila
    • cocktails– a whiskey sour. the egg white included, of course
    • more often than not, he’ll alternate between those two and beer in some bizarre combination he swears will keep you from throwing up
  • never really gets too drunk
  • the first part of the night, he hangs out with everyone
    • talking, drinking
  • the second part of the night he owns the dance floor
  • are we surprised he’s the best dancer out there?
  • of course not
  • he doesn’t have an ironic dance move
  • he’s just too good at everything he does
  • if he’s not with mc, he’ll allow himself to dance with a few women
  • if he is with mc, you know that he’ll have her by his side (or *ahem* at his crotch) the entire night
  • mc is definitely enraptured by his skill
  • she’ll prove that she can be quite skilled herself
    • zen is definitely turned on
  • their dancing is so hot
  • if you were to look at them while they were in the zone, you would be embarrassed  
  • more often than not, jumin barks at them to get a room
  • and they do
  • more than once throughout the night in fact


  • everyone is eager to see how jaehee will loosen up
  • she’s not the biggest fan of clubs
    • too loud
    • hot
    • lots of people
  • but she figured she might as well tag along (jumin told her to)
  • her drink of choice is a mojito
  • she was convinced by zen to take a shot of tequila with him
    • that was what pushed her over the edge
    • she was done for
    • later she took another shot with mc
  • girl was wild and ready to party!
  • and by that she was coaxed onto the dance floor by everyone and she actually agreed
    • jaehee does not like to dance in front of other people
  • she kind of just does the little head-bop thing and moves her limbs a bit
  • but if the crew eggs her on (especially seven), she’ll pull out the stops
  • everyone is going nuts
  • thanks to that tequila shot, jaehee and mc grind together
  • even if they’re not together
  • and heck do they grind
  • it’s a full on show
  • skin exposed
  • those sultry stares
  • mc’s hands are inching down jaehee’s hips like it’s their job
  • zen really has to control himself
    • actually goes to the bartender and asks for a cup of ice
  • at the end of the night, jaehee is having a blast
  • doesn’t really want to leave
  • but it’s already 1:45 am and it’ll take forever to get out if they don’t leave sooner rather than later
  • mc takes her home no matter what
    • even if she’s functional
  • gets her water, makes sure she has enough painkillers for the morning
  • when they go out and mc brings her home, she almost always stays for a sleep over
  • jaehee cooks breakfast for her in the morning to say ‘thanks’


  • has never liked clubs
  • but mc insisted that he comes along…
  • he’d much rather be at home with Elizabeth the Third and a bottle of pinot noir
  • but she insisted
  • most of the night, he’s at the table, watching everyone
  • his drink of choice is wine of course
    • but the wine they have at the club is bad
    • “You’re being a spoiled brat! Just drink your damn wine and be quiet!”
    • you know zen would say something like that
  • instead, jumin has taken to an old fashioned
    • does a shot of cinnamon whiskey with mc
    • he almost gagged on the taste
  • if he’s with mc, he’ll stay by her side for most of the night
  • he’ll dance if she convinces him
  • he’s a bad dancer
  • just so awkward
  • as much as he tries, he just can’t feel the music
  • once the alcohol is flowing though, he’s more confident
  • guess what?
  • that’s right, grinding
  • but jumin prefers that mc is facing him
  • his thigh is positioned just right
  • mc goes to town
  • nobody wants to look at them
  • they’re both having a great time though
  • if jumin drinks too much, watch out!
  • he’s handsy and isn’t afraid to show it
  • constantly trying to unabashedly snake his hand up mc’s skirt
  • grope city
  • insists they stay in a hotel for the night
  • doesn’t matter if his penthouse is 20 minutes away
  • he has the money and he’ll use it
  • it’s the nicest hotel room mc had ever seen
  • she didn’t have much time to appreciate it though
  • jumin already had her pushed against the wall, teeth on her neck and the bottom of her dress around her hips
  • they didn’t sleep at all that night


  • mc can hold her liquor pretty well
  • much like zen, she’ll switch between drinks throughout the night
    • she lives for shots
    • prefers cinnamon whiskey
    • tasty and warm
    • also enjoys martini’s 
    • always gives the olives to jumin
  • zen is her favorite drinking partner
  • she’s often challenged him to contests
    • she won once or twice by some miracle
  • can’t chug a beer to save her life though
  • if you couldn’t already tell, mc knows how to grind
  • an adequate dancer
  • favorite iconic move is the lawnmower (god damn I love this vid)
  • she tries her best to take care of her friends if they’ve had too much to drink
  • will often choose the one who is the worst off
    • it’s usually yoosung
I´m too fucking sober for this!

Today I wrote the short imagine I wanted write yesterday. When this gets uploaded, I´m probably already four hours deep into gilmore girls and will stay away from tumblr until I´m done. 
I hope you enjoy this small, humorous little drabble.

Imagine trying to get Sam and Dean into the car when they are super drunk.

Paring: SamxReader, DeanxReader (friends)

Warnings: language, drunk!Sam and drunk!Dean, fluff

Length: 675 Words

Originally posted by unnaturalsam


“Dean, cut it out!”, you shout-whispered as you watched the elder Winchester banging against the door of the closed bar you and the Winchesters had spent most part of the night in.
The boys had overdone it and were now fairly drunk, leaving you to babysit them.
It wasn´t fun, to say the least.
“But I want to keep going”, Dean whined now but to your utter release actually stopped making all that noise.
“Yeah, me too. Let´s hit another bar”, Sam threw in his two cents.
You turned to him and shook your head: “Look at you. You can barely lean against that fucking car without falling.”
Sam immediately started pouting: “That´s not true, look!”
He pushed himself off the hood of the Impala that had brought you here and of course immediately stumbled and fell into the grass on the traffic island.
You rolled your eyes while Dean and Sam started laughing hysterically, Sam rolling around on the ground like a lunatic.
“I´m too fucking sober for this”, you said quietly but the guys wouldn´t have noticed anyways because they were still laughing.
“Okay, that´s it. I´m getting you home now. I´m not planning on letting you get run over by a car”, you said and walked over to Sam, holding out your hand so he could use it to get up.
But instead of doing just that, he quickly pulled at your hand and with a yelp you landed on top of him.
“Sam, what the hell?”, you asked, as you tried to get up but failed, because he was holding you down.
“You smell really good”, he offered.
You finally managed to get to your feet: “Yeah, well, you don´t. So please do me a favor and get into the fucking car!”, you growled.
Right at that moment, two hands reached around your waist and before you knew it, you were pulled into Dean´s chest: “You curse a lot today”, he said and giggled.
You had never heard Dean Winchester giggle before. It was ridiculous to say the least.
“That´s because you two nutjobs are driving me crazy”, you gave back, pulled free from his embrace too, and opened the back door of the car in no time before pulling at Dean´s hand and somehow managing to put him on the seat.
He was smiling now: “Thanks for taking care of us (Y/N).”
Despite the situation, you had to laugh at his honest and sweet tone: “Of course.”
You left the door open but  never out of sight, as you walked over to Sam, who had magically managed to pull himself up and was now half laying on the hood of the car.
“Common Sam, let´s get the two of you home”, you said nicely, trying to calm everything down a bit, but Sam made a step back and shouted:  “But I don´t want to go back, I wanna go live in the forest.”
Even though you were tempted to let him do just that, you knew you had to help him so you said: “Too bad, but I need you to get back in the car now.”
“Well, I guess our only option is to duel then”, he said and got into some weird karate pose.
You sighed while Dean yelled from the car: “You have so many other options – you just always pick that one.”
Asking yourself in what universe this exchange made sense, you just grabbed Sam and dragged him to the back door of the car where you shoved him in and quickly closed it before any of them could escape again.
You took a deep breath and for a minute just enjoyed the silence before walking around the car and getting in the driver seat.
“Alright then, let´s go home”, you said, expecting more protest but only got silence.
Irritated you looked back and found them both fast asleep.
You smiled and knew that no matter how annoying the guys were from time to time, you would always take care of your two best friends.

“[I have] a propensity for self-loathing and the pleasure that comes with that. …Basically I’d been fairly drunk or high since I was fourteen. [Getting sober] was a tough life change, but I was dying. A lot of my energy was going in just to try and not have a complete meltdown in front of Al Pacino. Fear [and] desperation will, at times, allow you to do incredible things in the name of survival.

I created an environment for myself and a way of living that on the outside seemed incredibly gregarious and vivacious, and I was just…I was suffering from a spiritual malady for years, and I just indulged that, and it was sweet, ‘cause at times, to be in pain — if it’s self-perpetuated — can be sweet. You can feel very alive when you’re in pain. And I also know that, from another perspective, like when somebody in my life who I love has passed away, there is something incredibly internally vivacious about feeling pain or mourning, even if it is as egocentric and self-indulgent as mourning for yourself. So I’m glad I’m out of that cycle in my life.”

Past Life

A Shawn Mendes one shot.

Request from @alone-in-madness : Shawn and you are in a party and end up talking, you were instantly atrackted to each other and probably falling in love and you kiss, the kiss is steamy, passionate like they were waiting an entire life to kiss each other. You can continue 💕🙌🤗😘 **

The music was loud enough for me to feel the rumble of the bass in my feet as I walked through the party in search of my friend, weaving through all the drunk neighbourhood kids that had come out that night. I was fairly drunk myself, feeling the fog clouding over my brain. Eventually I found my friend Laurel by the fireplace talking to someone who had their back turned to me.

“Have you been drinking enough water?” I said, interrupting whatever Laurel was saying to drunkenly make sure she was okay. Laurel turned to me and laughed in disbelief.

“Yeah, Y/N. Have you?” She asked. I engulfed her in a hug of relief.

“That’s so good to hear, Laurel. Also, um, probably not. I’m very drunk.” I replied. Laurel laughed, making me shrug nonchalantly.

“I can see that. Y/N, this is Shawn.” Laurel said, gesturing to the stranger she was talking to. I turned to him and had to blink a few times to register that the guy in front of me wasn’t just attractive because I was drunk, but because he was genuinely attractive. He half smiled and let out a small laugh.

“Hi, Y/N.” he said. My brows furrowed for a moment as I continued looking at him.

“You’re that singer guy, right? I knew you lived in town and everybody always talks about you but to be honest I don’t really listen to your music.” I said. Laurel and Shawn both laughed, and my eyes widened. “That sounded mean! I’m so sorry!” I cried, putting my hands on Shawn’s firm shoulders. He was warm and solid, and his laugh was light as he shook his head.

“You don’t have to listen to my music, it’s alright. Do you want some water, Y/N? Let’s go get you some, alright?” He said, ducking to look me in the eyes, glancing at Laurel for approval. He was so much taller than me, and his eyes were kind. Laurel laughed again and put her hand lightly on my shoulder.

“Thanks, Shawn. Let me know if she’s too much trouble. It was nice talking to you.” She said, brushing by into the crowd. Shawn raised his big hand in a wave, then guided me towards the kitchen with that hand expanded over the small of my back.

“You alright?” He asked as we got into the kitchen. It was significantly quieter, with only a few people. I nodded and smiled at Shawn, who returned the gesture, holding eye contact for a moment before moving to the fridge to grab a bottle of water and handing it to me. I thanked him and took a big sip of it, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand afterward and hiccuping. Shawn’s smile grew at the sound of my hiccups.

“What!” I protested, my laughter being interrupted by more hiccups. Shawn just laughed and leaned on the counter beside me, shaking his head.

“Your hiccups are really cute.” He said, grinning at me. His cheeks were flushed red, making me smile wider.

“You’re really cute.” I replied. The tips of his ears went red this time, and he looked away. I hoisted myself up on the countertop and took another sip of water. “What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn’t you be partying with Miley Cyrus or someone instead of us?” I asked. Shawn leaned on his side to face me, laughing.

“I’m friends with the guy who lives here. Also, I have yet to party with Miley Cyrus, for the record.” He replied. I hummed, unsatisfied with his answer.

“Pickering isn’t that big. Weird that I never met you before.” I said. Shawn smiled still.

“We’re meeting now. I guess it was bound to happen, right?” I returned the smile.

“Is it nice to be back?” I asked. Shawn laughed lightly at how my brain was switching topics so quickly.

“It is. I wish I could be back more often.” He admitted.

“You must miss it. You’re my age, aren’t you? 18?” I asked. Shawn nodded in response. “I couldn’t imagine being away all the time at 18. I’m still a kid.” I sighed, leaning my head back against the cupboard. Shawn laughed.

“So am I. I mean, I love everything about what I’m doing, but a lot of people forget that I’m only 18. I like being home and being able to act my age.” He replied. I smiled wider.

“Getting drunk at a house party and wooing some girl with the whole rockstar thing?” I laughed. Shawn blushed.

“I’m not trying to woo you with the whole rockstar thing.” He defended.

“I never said you were trying to, but you are anyway. Come on, regular teenager, let’s go dance.” I said, hopping off the counter and grabbing his hand. I could hear Shawn laughing over my shoulder as I lead him to the living room where people were dancing. His laugh was airy, boyish, child-like, and it made me feel fuzzy for a reason that wasn’t the alcohol in me.

Shawn and I danced for what could’ve been forever, but I don’t think Shawn nor I were aware of the passing of time. We were just having pure, unadulterated fun. His dance moves were hilarious and awful, so I tried to teach him a few but he failed miserably. It just made it more endearing. We seemed to keep getting closer and closer, like the reeling in of a tether, until his fingers dug into my waist and my body pressed against his. He smelled warm yet fresh, and enticing. I could feel his breath on my neck. I wanted to get closer.

Eventually, needing room to breathe, Shawn led me out the back door to the patio. With the door closed behind us and nobody in the backyard because of the cool April night, things were quiet. The music was muffled behind us. The sky stretched above us. Our lungs filled with fresh, cold air that left in plumes floating to the dark.

“It’s so peaceful.” I whispered, feeling the need to break the quiet as little as I could. Shawn smiled at me, and I returned it before closing my eyes, focusing on the breeze against my cheeks. I only opened them again when I felt Shawn’s hand interlace my own timidly. He smiled shyly when I caught his eye, and held his gaze. “Did we really just meet a few hours ago?”

Shawn smiled. “I think so. It feels differently though.” He replied just as quietly.

“Maybe we knew each other in a past life.” I mused, making Shawn laugh lightly.

“That would make sense.” He said, pausing. “I’ve always thought I was a deer in my past life.”

I smiled. “I always thought I was a doe.” Shawn laughed airily, close enough for my to feel it. His hand played delicately with mine.

“That would make sense too.” He whispered, his nose brushing mine. My senses were overwhelmed by him, my only focus being on his lips and his breathing.

I was the one to close the distance and meet his lips. His lips pressed to mine in one long kiss before he pulled away and moved his hands to my waist and pulled me against him, my hands instinctively resting on his chest as we kissed again, our mouths open. My hands roamed up to the back of his neck where I threaded my fingers in his hair. I tugged gently and got a breathy moan from Shawn, making me smile into the kiss. My smile made Shawn smile, and he turned us so I was pressed against the bannister of the porch. His lips moved to behind my ear and then down, sucking hickies above my collar bone and raising small noises from me. He smiled against my neck and moved back to my lips, hand sliding down to cup my bottom.

“Y/N?” He breathed against my lips. I hummed in response, too engulfed in his taste to focus on the fact that he was trying to say something to me. “I- have a- confession.” He said between kisses. I pulled away in confusion and searched his eyes.

“What is it?” I asked. Shawn’s swollen lips spread into a grin.

“I may have been trying to woo you with the whole rockstar thing. Just a little bit.” He admitted. I laughed and kissed him again.

“Don’t worry. It worked.”

some festive joly things to consider
  • joly buying souvenir christmas baubles everywhere he goes
  • joly having the biggest collection of cheesy christmas movies 
  • joly mixing practically deadly christmas drinks insisting that they’re great cures for colds
  • jbm taking ridiculous selfies in the snow (bossuet has fallen over like five times and has a black eye) (chetta is wearing the earmuffs joly bought her and she complained but she actually loves them and she looks adorable) 
  • feuilly always makes things for his friends’ presents and throughout winter joly is frequently seen covered in a mountain of hand knitted hats and scarfs and gloves to stay warm (and also because he loves them and feuilly always picks lovely colours) (he also wears nothing but the awful christmas jumpers jehan has bought him over the years) 
  • his hands are always so fucking cold how is this possible
  • being determined to find ways to make his friends enjoy christmas even if they think it’s a capitalist mess or that it always ends up with the family getting drunk and arguing
  • joly and bossuet trying to untangle fairly lights
  • he has socks that play christmas songs

Spencer Reid was totally hammered. It was a rare occurrence, like seeing Hotch smile. The BAU was out celebrating a successful case. It was a child abduction case, but all of the children had been found alive and unharmed, and the unsub had been arrested and put away for life. These kinds of happy endings were rare, and sometimes, they warranted celebrating.

You had just been transferred to the BAU, and this past case was only your fifth. The team had been extremely welcoming, and they already felt like family. Although, you’d been having some decidedly non-familial feelings towards a certain messy-haired doctor.

You and Reid sat in a booth, both of you fairly drunk. You were nowhere near as out of it as Reid though. You had always known you were a giggly drunk, but Spencer was so hyper you weren’t even sure it was him. He was talking at a speed your inhibited ears could barely register, and you were only picking up half of what he was saying. You rubbed your eyes, unknowingly smearing makeup across your face. You concentrated on Spencer’s words.

“-and Derek was naked and so were Hotch and Prentiss and you were there but I can’t remember if you were naked. If the others were naked you had to be naked-” Spencer rambled. You stared at him incredulously.

“Wh-Why does anyone have to be naked?!” You interjected, a little too loudly. The rest of the team turned their attention to the two youngest agents.

“I’m not sure I wanna know what that conversation is about.” Morgan commented. Prentiss took a much-too-large sip of wine.

Spencer stared at you across the bar table, silent for the first time in what he assumed was at least an hour.

“Your face is really red.” He stated calmly. You grinned.

“Yours is too.” Reid lifted a hand to his face and felt his cheeks. They were 6 degrees hotter than normal.

“Hey.” He looked at you with his big brown eyes.

“What.” You replied, eyes wide.

“Let’s get out of here.”

anonymous asked:

I usually hate alcohol. Like, I hate it and I never wanted to drink. But I would love to get drunk with you. You seem so fun and amazing, and really fun and silly when you are drunk. You are so cute. My tiny, smol gay heart can not take it.

omg i didn’t see this last night but my heart is just !!>!??!?! i love u omg aha i am such an annoying drunk because i never shut up and i only get louder but tbh u don’t have to drink to have a good time <3 but if we ever met i’m sure we’d have a great time lol

Accidental Freestyle

So I’m out at the local gay bar last night for Drag Nation (BOB the Drag Queen, y’all) with my bestie/fellow SB and we’re chatting with a straight closet drag queen. Talking about hair or something and my fairly drunk ass complains that I’m growing my hair out this summer because it’ll help me make money. And to preempt the confused stare, I just say, “I date older men for money” because I’m in the community space where I do me with no shame. It’s not like a closet queen is going to out me. 

And he says, “I’m an older man, would you date me?” “Well, I’m a sugar baby,” and I explain that it’s not cheap. I’d hang out for free with his as a friend if I could afford it. But he owns a company in a nearby city, actually does very well for himself. Doesn’t have a problem at all with giving a pretty girl something to make her life easier. He has trouble with women and dating because when he finally tells them (for the sake of honesty in the relationship) that he occasionally likes to wear makeup and dress up like a woman, they call him a fairy and never speak to him again. 

But I already know his secret life, it can’t surprise me. And I don’t care about any of that shit, especially if I’m getting paid. And an SD who wants to dress me up in pretty clothes and things because he loves them but doesn’t have enough of a reason to get them for himself is just fine with me. He loves to buy and wear high-end makeup, wants to go shopping together in MAC and Sephora. He’d actually love to go shopping because he knows about cosmetics and fashion. He thinks I’m beautiful and that we have so many things in common, would love to discuss with me what being an SD entails. Today he can’t wait to hang with me and my girl again.

And that’s how we accidentally made a POT out of a straight businessman who does closet drag at a gay club. Who’s actually a worthwhile person, as well. Weird world.

  • Guinevere: How many knights does it take to wrangle a drunk Mordred?
  • Lancelot: I'm fairly certain I don't want to know about any of this.
  • Guinevere: One. Apparently while Kay and Gawain were getting the shit beat out of them, Galahad walked up and led Mordred away like a puppy.
  • Lancelot: This is ridiculous.
  • Guinevere: It's pretty cute.
  • Lancelot: This is ridiculous. The boy had so much potential when he arrived and now he's the butt of some joke and he's dragging Galahad along into the rumor mill.
  • Guinevere: Leave them be. God knows you were a mess at that age.
  • Lancelot: And look how that turned out for the both of us.

sixteen days post op.

Last night was eventful and slightly worrying, I won’t go into too much detail but myself being irresponsible by drinking and being around other fairly irresponsible drunk people just had me in a situation I could have avoided if I had stayed sober. I put my stitches at risk of infection or tearing (v low risk but obviously when you’re drunk you get paranoid and panicky) so I called up 111 and they advised me to go to A&E, my friend came with me and after a nurse looked at everything, she told me I didn’t have much to worry about and that I should just wash the area when I got home. 

I feel a bit stupid about the whole thing, I shouldn’t have drunk and I feel like I could have avoided it, but at the same time, I’m 21, it was a special occasion, I’ve been so careful for 2+ weeks and sometimes life just doesn’t stop for you when you’ve had surgery, these are all things to take into account. I can’t change what happened but I can learn from it so here are some lessons to avoid doing what i did:

  • try to avoid going to hectic social events if possible until you’re allowed to exercise.
  • if you’re gunna drink, don’t mix your drinks, drink low percentage drinks or drink lots of water in between each alcoholic drink - also keep eating lots.
  • stay around friends who know what your limits are, no matter how bad you want to leave them.
  • if you do end up leaving them, try not to end up somewhere alone with someone you are/ want to be sexually active with.
  • if you end up gettin heated with someone else, try to keep your pants on 
  • if your pants come off, and you end up having sex, don’t let anyone cum in you!!!!!! Try to drink loads of water and pee as much as possible.
  • If you’ve got the get go for like cleaning it, pour some clean water over yourself and dab it dry with gauze.
  • If you’re worried, call 111 after and let them know whats happened, they’ll probably tell you to go to a+e anyway, but it’s worth calling in advance.
The Unstoppable Force and the Sometimes Movable Object, chapter 30

whoops, forgot to post to Tumblr last night! 

enjoy the weirdest, fluffiest conversation about infidelity ever. plus cuddles, and Matteusz. 


Quill finds that having a sleepy, drunk Kalei cuddled into her is actually fairly comfortable, and she lets herself close her eyes and rest for the first time in far too long. (The hibernation doesn’t count because it’s weird and pregnancy related.)

Naturally, this is how Matteusz finds them when he pokes his head in a while later.

“Oh, sorry,” he says, but there’s a small smile on his face. “I was just going to the shops - there is no food in the house. Charlie is no good at this, it seems.”

“No, I’m the one that buys everything, or you, this isn’t news,” Quill says, frowning at him.

“Is there anything specific you are wanting?”

“Chocolate. Lots of chocolate. And whatever you use to make pancakes, she might feel better if she makes those, or if one of us - and by us I mean you - were to make some. And make sure our coffee stock-”

“There is enough coffee in this house, still, to last through zombie apocalypse, Miss Quill. It will be okay.”

“I don’t have time for a zombie apocalypse right now. There’s a cute maths teacher asleep on me.” Although, now that he mentions it, chainsaws are now a distinct and appealing possibility -

“Is very cute,” Matteusz says with a grin.

“Alright, a very cute maths teacher,” Quill corrects, rolling her eyes and making Matteusz laugh.

“I was meaning you. Both of you. But that works too.”

“Oh,” Quill says with a frown. She’s not sure how she feels about being called cute, even if it’s a description she’s sharing.

“…I will go and get chocolate now.”

Read Here


Cal blinked, once, slow, and dared to open his eyes. He was fairly certain he was still drunk out of his mind. His knees had begun to ache, swallowed up by the rain-sodden ground.

The man before him glowed impossibly bright, radiant as the sun. The world around them burned white-hot. Somewhere in the back of his mind Cal wondered if the future had suddenly come.

Cal wanted to ask the man his name, but his tongue felt too heavy in his mouth and his lips refused to move. All that came out was a whimper, inaudible above the deafening rush in his ears.

“Cal Roberts,” the man’s voice boomed, an echo among the cage of trees. “I’ve been watching you for quite some time.”

It was only then that Cal noticed the stranger’s eyes. Neither of them blinked. The man knelt and and took Cal’s hands in his own. His fingers were like flames, his touch burning bone-deep though Cal felt no pain.

“I’ve waited so very long for this moment, but I think you’re finally ready,” he said. “Come with me. There’s something wonderful I’d like to show you.”

anonymous asked:

What are the ladies like drunk?


Er, I might get a little…looser…than normal. Thankfully someone usually restrains me from doing anything too stupid–although I have come home with a number of phone numbers before.
(Note: Germany!mun doesn’t drink, but has a nifty prop)


I get Emotional when drunk, thro it takes ALOT or beer for me to actualy get to this point.


I can hold my liquor fairly well, so it takes quite a bit to get me drunk but once I am… oh boy…When I start to get flirty is a good time to cut me off.


I don’t get drunk easily…But when I do…Well, I get into fights….


I’ve been told I get very emotional and depressing whenever I’m drunk? Considering I invented vodka, though, it would take alot to actually get me drunk, so I don’t usually have to worry about it.


I don’t really drink to get drunk, but even when I do I just tend to get quite philosophical. After all, I come up with my best ideas when I have some wine in me!


I tend to well.. get confused of everything, shocked by simple things but still quiet and sometimes staring off into walls.. not much of a drinker though.. meh.


I don’t get drunk that easily. I have drinking contests with my brother and I can usually last a pretty long time. But when I do drink enough to get to that point, I’m loud and obnoxious, or so people say.

First Call to Ellis

Sunday 19 March 2017

8:30 PM (approximate) - Hour of the Sun

61%  Waning Gibbous Moon in Sagittarius

Read through the DKMU godform guide and spent most of the day working on an Ellis piece in my art journal. Debated performing the Call but eventually decided that I hadn’t properly prepared and that I wasn’t in the correct mindset. Also I was fairly drunk and thought it would be better to wait until I sobered up. In the evening, I chatted with @kab-niel​ about her first attempt at the call while making a 7 day candle dedicated to Ellis. In addition to the sigil, the candle was drilled and filled with divination oil. In the process, I accidentally got the oil all over my hands.

Keep reading

92 Truths

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

i was tagged by @jacesimon​, thanks, darling!


[1] drink: Milk from my cereal :P
[2] phone call: My sister
[3] text message: Some OKcupid dude that I am already over.
[4] song you listened to: Roses (feat. ROZES) The Chainsmokers
[5] time you cried: idk, like a week ago when I watched Moonlight? Though I’ve teared up over Malec since then


[6] dated someone twice: Nope
[7] been cheated on: Not really.
[8] kissed someone and regretted it: Yep
[9] lost someone special: You’re very lucky if you haven’t? But yes I have
[10] been depressed: Yes. I’m on anti-depressants that have been working fairly well.
[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: Nah, son

[12] teal
[13] lavender
[14] that dark red rose color

[15] made new friends: Yes!
[16] fallen out of love: Haven’t been in love
[17] laughed until you cried: Idk, maybe not
[18] found out someone was talking about you: Only in a good way?
[19] met someone who changed you: Idk, maybe subtly, and usually for the better
[20] found out who your true friends are: Yes, definitely.
[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: Yes.

[22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: None :/
[23] do you have any pets: My parents do and I consider those mine too.
[24] do you want to change your name: Nah.
[25] what did you do for your last birthday: Went out to dinner, dessert, and a movie with my little sis
[26] what time did you wake up: Noon.
[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Playing a bit of Skyrim
[28] name something you cannot wait for: JUNE 5TH!!!
[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: August 26th, 2016, hasdkj. I’m seeing her in a few days tho.
[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I’d give myself more drive to go out and do the things I need to do. Instead of like… procrastinating on tumblr >.>
[31] what are you listening to right now: Pandora, currently a Selena Gomez song
[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes, several. RN there is a regular at my job who has that name.
[33] something that is getting on your nerves: IDK. Online dating? Or not actually dating because I cannot be fucking bothered to go out tbh? 
[35] elementary: Home schooled
[36] high school: Home schooled, GED.
[37] college: a bit of Portland Community College and University of Idaho. No degree though.
[38] hair colour: some sort of shade of blonde, currently with some purple in it
[39] long or short hair: It passes by shoulders by a few inches
[40] do you have a crush on someone: Nah.
[41] what do you like about yourself?: Mehhh.. I currently like my body a fair amount which is rare, and I like my growing ability to make people laugh. Who knew under all the social anxiety there was so much sass and sarcasm? (but in a way people know I’m joking because I would honestly feel so bad if anyone took me seriously)
[42] piercings: No
[43] blood type: TBH I can’t even remember.
[44] nickname: Jess
[45] relationship status: single
[46] zodiac sign: Pisces
[47] pronouns: she/her
[48] fav tv show: There’s a lot of good ones… I think B99 is the only unproblematic fav, but I do love Shadowhunters, even though some of the flaws can be painful.
[49] tattoos: Not atm.
[50] right or left handed: right handed

[51] surgery: I was eight and my appendix burst
[52] piercing: my ears when I was like… 12 or so? 
[53] best friend: a girl named Heather who definitely helped corrupt me
[54] sport: Anything I did was casual and not remotely regimented. Just kids playing.
[55] vacation: Probably to the beach, though the first long one would be going to visit my grandparents in a different state.
[56] pair of trainers: Fuck if I know

[57] eating: Nothing
[58] drinking: Nothing
[59] i’m about to: Keep wasting time, or maybe actually make myself get up and go out… idk. D:
[60] listening to: Nothing atm
[61] waiting for: my lazy ass
[62] want: Republicans to fucking think of someone but themselves for a change. The distribution of wealth. 
[63] get married: what????
[64] career: CURRENT career? Barista

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs
[66] lips or eyes: eyes
[67] shorter or taller: (ideally) taller
[68] older or younger: idk
[69] romantic or spontaneous: both
[70] nice arms or nice stomach: I guess arms?
[71] sensitive or loud: Both
[72] hook up or relationship: relationship
[73] troublemaker or hesitant: somewhere in the middle lol

[74] kissed a stranger? Not a TOTAL stranger
[75] drank hard liquor? Yes and ew
[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? I am sure I’ve lost a contact or two. Glasses are much harder to lose
[77] turned someone down: Yeah
[78] sex on first date? Yeah :(
[79] broken someone’s heart? Yes.
[80] had your own heart broken? A few times.
[81] been arrested? Definitely not.
[82] cried when someone died? Yes
[83] fallen for a friend: Too many times.

[84] yourself? To a degree
[85] miracles? Not really.
[86] love at first sight? Not really.
[87] santa claus? No 
[88] kiss on the first date? If you want to, why not
[89] angels? Not really.

[90] current best friend’s name: April + Cat
[91] eye colour: blue-gray
[92] favourite movie: I hate this question! Either The Fall (2006), A Single Man, or Moonlight

I tag: @magnificentmalec, @softshumjr, @simon-maia, @thirstyalec, @mel-iorn