One Day, I'll Marry You (Jared Kleinman x Reader)
This is my first DEH imagine (I’ve written a shit load of AWG fics.)
If it’s shitty it’s because I wrote this at 3 am and am too tried to proofread twice.
REQUESTS ARE OPEN!
The ever present Jared Kleinman
The family friend Jared Kleinman
The loser Jared Kleinman
The insanely annoying Jared Kleinman
For you Jared was a forced childhood friendship destined for failure from the get go. Or so your families thought. Your moms where friends in high school and remains friends till this day, and were elated when they discovered they were pregnant with babies at the same time! So close in time that you were born less than an hour apart on the same day, same month, same year. Which meant same birthdays and the joint parties! You and Jared had known each other from birth and were stuck with each other. No escaping him. Ever.
As the two of you got older it was apparent to the families of both parties that you two were most likely not going to be friends once your personalities developed. Jared loved video games and action figures and comic books, while you enjoyed playing outside, dolls, and kiddie makeup. Your mothers had predicted your separation after your first fight, what game was to be played. You weren’t even in school yet but they just knew. Or so they thought.
“It’s gonna happen and soon. You know they won’t stay friends” Jared’s mom said while drinking wine at the dining room table. You and Jared were hidden behind the wall, eavesdropping on them. They didn’t know this but the two of you were in a ninja phase, Jared was given Sly Cooper from his grandmother and you both LOVED IT.
“They think we are gonna like, breakup!” Jared whispered to you.
“We can’t breakup we’re not even married!” You replied your knowledge of the world so minimal, all you knew was marriage.
“Well we should prove them wrong!” He cheered. You heard both mothers suddenly stop talking, you locked eyes and took off down the hall way back to Jared’s room in a fit of giggles.
“Hey (y/n)?” Jared piped up after you were safely hidden in his room “when we’re older, like 13, I’m going to marry you!”
“I’ll say yes!” Your giggled picking up the Play Station controller.
That was 14 years ago. This is today.
You were packing your over night bag to drop off at Jared’s before school, you really only packed clothes, you spent almost every weekend at the Kleinman’s so they had a set of over night things for you already.
Grabbing your keys off your nightstand you left the house from your back door, and you found yourself in the Kleinman’s kitchen, you knew this large house like the back of your hand, reminiscing slightly as you headed up to Jared’s room, little you in picture frames smiling brightly always with Jared. You stopped at your favorite, the two of you were sopping wet, holding hands, and neither of you aware of poison ivy and fevers manifesting in your bodies.
You and Jared were 8 years old, it was the end of your joint birthday party, everyone was gone and your parents were helping clean up the small outdoor venue. For the first time all day the area was quiet, a mischievous smile painted on your face as the sound of running water swam to your ears.
“Jared! Jared listen! There’s a waterfall or something! Let’s go find it!!” Your chirped grabbing his hand and pulling him into the woods.
“(Y/N) we’re going to get in trouble!” He cried slipping his hand from yours.
“Jared if I’m going to be your wife you’re going to need to follow me anywhere!” You insisted. Ever since that day he said he’d marry you neither of you denied it. It seemed almost wrong for either of you to consider anyone else. And besides boys had cooties, Jared isn’t a boy. He is Jared and that’s different.
You two clambered through underbrush to the small river at the back end of the property. Sun shone down on to the shallow water, leaves tumbled gently from the oak trees above, and you and Jared shamelessly stripped down to your underwear and splashed into the stream.
After 30 minutes of of playing pretend in the river, you both were so cold you were blue and decided it was best to get dressed and head home. Your clothes were soaked from your splashing, and stuck to you like a second skin.
Your parents, worried sick, cried with joy when you guys showed up in the field by the venue. Jared’s mom gasped at her soaking wet, shivering son and his best friend. Your mom cracked up at the scene before her and instantly took a picture of the two of you, hands locked, soaked to the bone, grass stuck to your sticky skin, and grinning like mad men.
Later than evening both you and Jared were itchy like hell and coughing like crazy. The prognosis; poison ivy and a fevers from the cold river.
You smiled and continued down the hallway to Jared’s room, pushing open white door you found your best friend just waking up. Blurry eyed and voice still husky from sleep he squinted at you confused. “W-what are you doing here?” He groaned as his hand reaching for the glasses that had fallen to the floor moments ago. Walking into his room you grabbed his glasses, put them on, and sat straddling his sleepy body.
“I’m staying the night of course. I’m just going to come straight here after school,” you replied poking is squishy face.
“Yes because your house is so very far away,” he rolled his eyes “where the fuck are my glasses?” In a fit of giggles you grabbed his face between your hands and leaned in close, your face and the glasses on them coming into focus.
“I don’t know J, where the fuck are your glasses?” You said dead serious.
“Go fuck a goat,” he scolded shoving you off onto the floor. You broke out into another fit of giggles, the last you’d seen of his face he was glaring at you, but that facade fell away and he smiled at you gently. He tapped your ribs with his foot as he got out of bed and went to his closet.
“You know if I’m going to be your wife, you need to treat me better!” You said as you got off the floor.
“Yes (y/n), because you’re so set on being my wife,” He deadpanned.
“Wow Mr. Kleinman if I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re jealous!” You gasped flopping onto his bed. He mumbled a response that you didn’t hear.
‘Well (y/n). It’s a great thing you don’t know any better,’ you never heard it. But it was a thought that had plagued Jared for a while now.
School was slow and the only reason you didn’t give up preform a self inflicted virgin sacrifice in the bathroom was because Jared kept texting you about tonight.
From: Kleinmeme 🎮
My parents are having a date night, the house is ours till tomorrow. But dinner is up to us.
To: Kleinmeme 🎮
Pizza or Chinese?
From: Kleinmeme 🎮
Dad is leaving $50 like a fucking pimp, so the only reasonable dinner to buy is both and sodas.
To: Kleinmeme 🎮
Damn you. Making me hungry and also giving me a will to live via dinner.
From: Kleinmeme 🎮
You can’t die. I need you. How can I summon Satan if I don’t have his vessel?
To: Kleimeme 🎮
Stop texting me, if Mrs. P takes my phone I’m going to take your soul.
“I’m just saying if you’re going to pick Bowser you’ve got to play to win!”
“ITS MARIO KART YOU DIPSHIT. I DONT PLAY TO WIN. I JUST WIN!”
“WANNA FUCKIN BET?”
You and Jared took off down the sidewalk, barreling full speed ahead to his front door. Running around his house you gathered pillows, blankets, and a nights worth of drinks. You placed orders for pizza and Chinese while Jared set up all of his gaming consoles in basement.
It was midnight, you were pregnant with a Chinese-Italian baby and Jared was complaining he was going through food baby labor. The TV was playing Friends reruns and you and Jared were swaddled in tons of blankets.
“You know. I wouldn’t make a good wife. I can’t cook for shit. But damn I can order a good fuckin’ pizza,” you announced getting up to clean up the take out containers.
“That’s alright sweetheart, I’ll cook. You just go to work and look pretty” he replied in a surprisingly serious tone. You never thought Jared actually meant anything by his comments on your imaginary marriage, but you’d be lying if you hadn’t thought about him romantically.
“Did, did you just call me sweetheart?” You stuttered, your cheeks flushing. Suddenly you appreciated the darkness of the basement.
“I also said you look pretty, what’s your point. Also don’t even say I’m lying we both know you’re fucking drop dead gorgeous,” he grumbled, Jared was practically in love with you. You were his best friend, his partner in crime, and the one that got away. That is if he ever actually had you.
“Jared Kleinman! Are you professing your love to me!” You feigned shock, attempting to defuse the situation with humor.
“You know what, fuck it! (Y/full/N) I’m in love with you. I am. For once no jokes or memes. I’m seriously head over heels for you and have been since the 6th grade. You’re the only person who makes me feel like I’m not just an annoying nuisance. You listen to me prattle on and on about stupid memes and video games and you put up with all of my shit from late night rants to family vacation skype calls. You’re always here and you make me so unbelievably happy. God I love you. Your smile. Your eyes. Your humor. Your wit. Your body. God I fucking love your body. I love you,” he admitted. All you could do was stare at him in shock, you never even thought he could have feelings for you beyond friends. You wanted to hold him and kiss him and tell him you felt the same but you couldn’t move, your mind was going too fast for your body. “You know what forget it. Forget I said anything. You obviously don’t care. I’m sorry I know you don’t feel the same, I mean how could you? I’m just Jared Kleinman The ever present Jared Kleinman. The family friend Jared Kleinman, The loser Jared Kleinman, The insanely annoying Jared Kleinman. And you’re (y/n) and everyone knows you can do better than me by a long shot,” tears pooled in his eyes, you still hadn’t reacted, and he was just waiting for your disgusted rejection, but it never came.
“Jared Kleinman. You’re the best person I know. You always make me smile no matter how bad life gets. You’ve been here for it all, no matter how emotionally disturbed or distant I get. You keep me sane, you keep me safe, you keep me honest. I love you too, more than friends, more than best friends, more than I’ve loved anything ever,” you pulled him into your arms, his body racking with sobs. “Please stop crying, it’s okay, I’m not going anywhere,” you pet his hair and held him to you tightly. He slowly lifted his head from your shoulder and looked at you, his puffy, bloodshot eyes filled with happiness and love. Suddenly you were swept off you feet, he spun you around in joy, all at once you felt you feet return to the ground and you felt Jared’s lips land on yours. It wasn’t a nice kiss, it was wet with salty tears, it was uneducated, too fast and hard, but it was perfect because it was you and it was Jared.
You settled back into the make shift blanket mattress on the floor, curling into Jared’s chest you smiled, happier than ever. He placed a kiss on the top of your head, his arms wrapped around you shoulders.
“You need to go home,”
“It’s Saturday. And Saturday is for the boys,”
“Go the fuck to sleep Kleinmeme,”
Feedback is always appreciated. AND REQUESTS ARE OPEN.