they were the best corn chips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anonymous asked:

Ughhh what the fuck don't understand any of this crap why tf does Josh's mom own like 20 dogs and then Jen and Darren what?!?! They are obviously not in a relationship it's like the same crap that happened with her and chris martin fake like whyyy this is getting so damn annoying why would anyone believe all this?

Maybe she’s trying to be like Lisa Vanderpump and starting her own rescue out of Josh’s house but instead of it being glamorous it’s just like that painting of dog’s playing poker, smells like corn chips and day old spilled beer.

Oh there are some idiots who believe it, but most of them can’t believe jen would call the paps on herself to sell a story…despite all the evidence that says otherwise. It’s best to just not respond to them, they’re going to explode when Jen is actually publicly in a real relationship but keeps it private. 

It’ll be fun to watch as they slowly realize how they were played. 

Dorito Slut

Dipper hummed as he strolled through the aisle, searching for the certain kind of pickles Mabel liked best. She and Bill were off looking for other things, since they’d decided that dividing up the grocery shopping amongst the three of them would be the fastest and easiest. He grabbed the jar he knew she wanted, and then rounded the corner to find Mabel just on the other side, surveying the chips about halfway down.

“Oh, hey Dipper, you want any chips?” she asked, looking up at him and gesturing vaguely towards the racks of various flavored corn and potato monstrosities. He grinned and called back, since she was sort of farther down and the store was loud and busy; “I’m always a slut for Doritos!”

And then, just as soon as the last syllable left his mouth, his blood ran cold. Mabel had her hands over her mouth, looking like she was trying /desperately/ not to make the obvious joke, and he stood frozen as he tried to process exactly /why the fuck/ he’d just said that.

Oh God. He rushed over to her suddenly, eyes wide and serious, panicked, and slapped his own hand over the ones already on her mouth. “/Bill never hears about this, you understand/?!” he hissed, looking around to make sure his illuminati triangle boyfriend was nowhere near them.

No such luck.

He looked on in horror as blonde hair began to slowly peek around the end of an aisle, followed by dark skin, one golden eye, bright with mirth, and a grin that split Bill’s face in half.

“Gee, Pine tree, never pegged you to be the one sharing all our naughty bedroom activities.”

Dipper wished he’d never been born.