they were so hyper on the boat

100 films in 2017

31. Dunkirk (2017)

Director: Christopher Nolan (you know who he is but: The Dark Knight, Interstellar, Inception, The Prestige… need I go on?)

Rating: 10/10

Dunkirk is 106 minutes of anxiety. That’s really the simplest way to put it.

To go more in depth would require me to perhaps give away some details, so I’ve put the rest of my review/analysis under the cut.

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When I was little my parents found out that I had a hearing disability. I was born with 75% loss in my left ear and 25% loss in my right. Doctors told my parents that I could never participate in any athletics or sports because if I were to get hit in the head, I could potentially become permanently deaf. From that moment I was robbed from a normal childhood. When you’re that young you don’t fully understand the gravity of this type of situation. When I was in grade 1 I was watching the kids at recess play soccer. A boy kicked the ball downfield; it went out and into my face. A teacher quickly grabbed my sister and me and brought me to the office. My mom was called and people were worried but I didn’t understand what was happening around me. A couple years later I became interested in gymnastics. I loved being on the balance beam, swinging from the bars and doing flips. But after a year my parents made me quit because the risk of falling and hitting my head was too high. I was sad and heartbroken because I had to give up what I loved to do. A couple of years later I was at summer camp and was sailing on the lake with a friend of mine who was crazy. She was very energetic and loud and hyper all the time. The sailing boat that we were on was about the size of 6 desk chairs put together in a rectangle. That day my friend was extra hyper and was steering the boat in all directions while I was managing the ropes. When you manage the ropes the most important thing to do when you turn is to duck. She made the sharpest turn and gave me no time to react. In a matter of seconds the boom, which is a long metal rod that is the base of the sail, swung across the boat and hit the back of my head. The force was so strong that it pushed me into the water. I started to laugh as my friend sailed away thinking this was hilarious. But then I look up and see my instructor in a motorboat five feet away from me and I start to panic, I didn’t hear the engine. Then I see my instructor saying things to me, gesturing to me. At that point I started to cry because I couldn’t hear a word he was saying. The time it took for me to get hit in the head, fall into the water, see my instructor, get into the motor boat, get back to the dock, get onto dry land, meet the counselors was about 20 minutes. For 20 minutes I didn’t hear a thing, nothing but the ringing in my head. Those 20 minutes brought a wave of terrified emotions I thought I would never feel. When sounds started to enter my head I was able to relax and calm down. After that incident I was determined to believe that my hearing was not a part of me anymore. I hated the risk, the scare and the frustration it brought me and other people. I stopped wearing my hearing aids. I came to Villanova in grade six hoping that I could start somewhere new. A friend had asked me to try out for soccer and I did thinking there was no way I would make it, but I did. Something opened up for me, I loved being a part of a team. And during the first week of practice a ball was kicked at my head. Some people were worried but I acted as though nothing was wrong, because I didn’t want to believe otherwise. I then continue to play soccer the next two years; I also join volleyball and love that sport even more. After being bullied online and at school about my hearing I discovered that it is a part of who I am and in order to be a better version of myself I had to accept all that I was. I went into high school wearing my hearing aids and became proud of my disability. I joined the basketball team, and even though I hating playing the game I still loved being a part of team and the feeling that nothing could hold me back. Then I try out for volleyball and I don’t make the team. I go to the bathroom and cry because I couldn’t believe it. I loved this sport so much, I went to Cuba, and I thought I was good enough but apparently not. I then try out for soccer thinking of course I’ll make it, I’ve played for three years; I didn’t make it. I go to the bathroom and cry again. For some reason I believed that my disability was the reason why I didn’t make those teams. That it was my parents fault for not pushing me to play sports as a child. That the doctor took away a life i could have had. The next year I was determined the change that. I tried out for volleyball because it was the only sport that made me want to keep going. I attended every single tryout. Not just to prove that last coach that he made a mistake, not to prove to my new coach that I’ve improved, not the prove to my teammates that I’m stronger, not to prove to my parents that they made a mistake, but to prove to the doctor that he was wrong and the prove to myself that my disability will never hold me back from doing what I love. I made the team and was the first to every practice and the last to leave. I was at every game and always participated. At the end of the season I had worked so hard and it had shown, I was awarded the most improved player that year. After that, I continued to play and each year became a stronger and better player. I have never been more proud of myself for accomplishing my goals. 12 years ago a doctor outlined my entire future. He robbed me of discovering who I was and what I loved. My whole life I felt different and weak. But I have realized that my disability doesn’t make me different, it makes me special. It has made me stronger and more determined to live my life the way I choose to, not by doctors’ orders
—  genuinesouls