they way i loved you

anonymous asked:

Yo there! Long time fan here I check your blog every day! Can I make a scenario request for shinsou and kirishima (separate pls) talking with their crush and long time friend about taking their relationship to the next level? What kinds of nice things would they say if their crush is super scared of becoming more than friends because of past experiences. Sorry if its weird i got out of something serious recently and I'm really scared about finding love again. Thanks so much!

Yo lovely! =D And it’s not weird at all really. (if you didn’t want me to say anything to this just ignore what I wrote next) Take your time when it comes to relationships. Let yourself heal first if that is what you need, take your time and breathe, recenter yourself and see what it is that you want and need. It’s okay to take your time and to do things at your pace, to find someone who loves and respects you and lets you do things in your time. It’s also okay to take a bit of a risk if you want, to jump into the cold water and see if things work out. Do what feels right for you and don’t let anyone push you into something you’re not ready for. Take care lovely <3 Also, I very much hope I could write this soon enough and that you’re going to like it!


He carefully listens to his friend’s worries and they tell him a bit more about their past experiences.

“I…” They pause and their shoulder slump a bit. “I’m scared.”

Shinsou itches to reach out and take their hands into his, to reassure them and to make them look less sad and worried. Instead, he inhales and he resolves that he won’t touch them unless they’re going to invite or accept it. He’ll do his best to respect them and talk it out properly.

“I can’t decide those things for you.” He finally says and drags a hand through his hair. His crush looks up and he gives them a small shrug, his face serious. “You know how you feel and if you’re ready for something again or not.”

He swallows and glances aside. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed or sad, but…” He looks at them again. “I value you, as the person you are and as my friend. If you want to date me or not doesn’t mean we aren’t friends. I care about you, I like you and I like spending time with you.”

His friend sighs and they rub a hand over their face for a moment. “I would…the thing is, I want to try, I just…”

They break off and Shinsou thinks about it for a moment, before he slowly offers his hand, palm up.

“Then it will be your call. You want to try dating? Okay, we’re going to do it at your pace. I want you to feel like you can trust me and only you know what makes you feel that way.” He holds their gaze. “We only take the next steps when you’re ready, when we’re both ready. Be it dating or hand holding or anything else.”

His crush exhales quietly and slowly reaches out as well, their fingers brushing his. They still look torn though and bite their lip.

“And what if…what if I want to stop? What if it doesn’t work out?”

Shinsou gives their fingers a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “You want to stop, we stop. You think something isn’t okay, you can talk about it with me and we can see if we can fix it. I only ask you to be honest with me and to let me know how you feel.” He inhales silently. “I can’t be brave for you, but if you let me know what you need, I can be here for you. The rest is something you need to decide.”


There is a small frown between his eyebrows as he listens to his partner and he finds himself feeling secretly upset that someone treated them in a way that made them scared of getting into another relationship.

When his crush finishes, they look torn and sad and hurt and Kirishima has to fight down the urge to pull them into a hug and try to soothe their fear away. At the moment though, they need to talk this out to decide how they’re going to proceed, no matter how hard it is to sit still and not reach out.

“I love you.” Kirishima finds himself blurting out and then rubs a hand over his forehead. “And I love you as my friend too. I want you to, to feel safe with me. I want you to be able to trust me and to relax and have fun with me.”

He looks at them, his expression open and not hiding what he feels. “And you know what makes you feel like you can entrust yourself to someone else, so that would be your call. If you want to give me a chance, that is your decision. If you don’t want to, this is the last time I’ll bring this up and we can return to being friends.”

Kirishima inhales and finds himself nervously fiddling with his fingers. “This is all new to me, I don’t know what to do and I’ll do my best not to mess anything up. And if you decide I’m worth a shot, we’ll do it at your pace, okay?” He gives them a small, encouraging smile before he looks serious again. “I don’t ever want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. Or that you’re not ready for.”

His friend sucks in a shaky breath and they bite their lip for a moment. “I’m scared it’s going to end badly.”

Kirishima is quiet for a moment, trying to put his feelings and the jumble of thoughts in his brain into words.

“We don’t know that until we try it.” He finally says. “I know that I love you and that I don’t want to hurt you and if I ever do, you let me know and I’ll stop right away. And if you notice that this isn’t going to work out between us, I won’t be angry if you break it off.”

Swallowing, he offers his hand and when his crush slowly takes it, he finds his chest flowing with tentative, loving warmth. “I can’t make your decisions for you.” Kirishima says, his voice quiet now. “I can only be here for you and be honest and true to my words. The rest is up to you.”



“The toughest most valuable lesson I ever learned was focus on the job in front of you..whatever the outcome here, you are strong enough to fight this”. 

Soon I’ll be taking a tumblr hiatus for a few months to focus on under the cut is a truly indulgent post of me waxing lyrical on how much I heart the Wolfe..some of it is speculative because I imagine I’ll be offline throughout her “exit arc” and so I won’t get a chance to freak out and fangirl with you all in real time…  SEE BELOW  BUT ONLY IF YOU WANNA…

Oh god lord, Berenice bloody Wolfe.  I vaguely remember deciding to watch Holby City for Jemma Redgrave way back when it was announced she was going to play Bernie and I’m not one bit sorry I did. I love Bernie Wolfe, have done since day 1 and even through radio silence-gate and severe lack of screen time-gate. She’s fantastic and completely fearless in matters of work/ war/ stressful situations and all that big macho army medic stuff. But in matters of the heart Bernie Wolfe is really rather fragile, completely uncertain and rather scared to destroy the things she holds so dear. I imagine she’s lost an awful lot of relationships throughout her life to a fear, or a reluctance, to express just how deeply she feels things and how much she cares. She’s always been entirely brilliant as a surgeon and leader, shown herself to be a great team member and friend, and a source of strength for others when they’re feeling the very worst a person can feel. That good old British reserve is steeped so deep within how she approaches and reacts to every situation..she’s always a pillar of strength, but never stoic. She never wavers in the face of others expressing extreme outbursts of emotion despite that being a world away from how she expresses herself..she gives them time and whatever it is they need from her at that moment. 

We know the trauma unit is going..and I just hope that there is someone there for her, to return that favour, and I hope she feels safe enough to really allow herself the time to grieve for all the things she’s lost and all the things she’s been whatever way she chooses. I’m not just talking about crying or shouting out rage in the face of Nina and Guy those fucking snAKES . I know some fans have long thought “something HAS to give, she has to break down”, but it isn’t like that for everyone. Yes loss and hurt is sometimes a roaring and screeching thing, tangible and on the surface for all to see..but sometimes for others it’s silent, never outwardly expressed but it is ever present. I just want Bernie to feel safe enough to express herself when she’s upset or angry in whichever way works best for her. Obviously this all depends if holby city have actually taken the time to treat her like a fully-realised person, a character within her own right, but let’s face it they’ve probably taken the trauma unit away from her and then provided little to no follow up.. but in the face of optimism I just deeply hope that holby city have at least written something to show those emotional complexities before she leaves (because we know Jemma is doing theatre so there’s only a matter of time). So if the trauma unit being taken away is the beginning of the end for Bernie Wolfe (pre Jemma’s play..I’m not saying she’ll never be back but as of yet..we don’t have a lot to go on).. I just hope Jemma Redgrave is given ample time to really shine, because she’s a bloody fantastic actress and she plays Bernie so beautifully. Bernie Wolfe entered holby as an already very complexed character but there is still so much untouched potential because holby city have rarely focused on her long enough since Life in the Freezer to provide us with more insight. I just hope Holby city have done her justice in her last few episodes if they are to be her last on the show because if they haven’t it’s a disservice not only to the actor but to the character who’s made a massive impact on the show within such a short space of time. If she does return and there’s to be more Bernie Wolfe in the future then I hope the show’s writing is more reminiscent of the days before Kiev, where they actually cared about their characters. S19 has not been a good year imo, for any of the characters because the writing just hasn’t been that good. 

Long like really long story short, watching Bernie Wolfe has been a riot and something I’ll relive for as long as the youtube’s exist..praise jesus for Nat’s Playlist and if I was laid out on the table, I’d want her to be the one standing over me- and I don’t just mean that in the smutty way, but in the fictional surgeon way. For me there’s no-one better than Bernie Wolfe. The BMAM/ the precious pupper/ the woman that invented legs. I more than like her. 

Sorry this all seems a tad previous, she hasn’t left yet and to be honest she might even still be on the show when I come back to tumblr LOLS, but I’m guessing she won’t be and so preemptively wanted to share some feels. I’m gutted it won’t be in real time and that I’ll miss all the bantz and gifs etc. Being part of this fandom has been SO MUCH FUN omg it’s been brilliant and for the sake of actually focusing on my job and eeek personal life for the next few months, I’m tapping out. I’ll be back and I hope you have continue to have loads of fun, I’m looking forward to seeing all the quality content when I’m back :)

oops edited to add ~ I’ve been given an amazing opportunity with my work and I’m going to Holland tomorrow for placement wheee hence my “I better bloody focus and get off my blog” decision hah! I’m tremendously excited but also shitting a brick™ goes nothing,

Thanks for getting this far if you’re still reading!!

Laura X

@qanter-queen requested from “Don’t act like you’ve never seen a dead person talking before.”  here

Jeremy stood stock still, slack jawed, as he watched his boss groan and sit up.

Sit up off the cold warehouse floor, rubbing at his head.

His head that was covered in crimson blood.

His blood.

From the gunshot.

To his head.

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