they told me i was a fool

cryptognomicon  asked:

Top five episodes of "Buffy."

  1. lies my parents told me (an unconventional favourite, i know)
  2. the gift
  3. fool for love
  4. once more with feeling
  5. helpless

those are straight off the top of my head, but I’m probably forgetting one and there are sooooo many honorable mentions…

ask me my top five anything

Good Boy

I was feeling….inspired. Just a dirty, snutty little drabble for ya’ll. Enjoy. 😉
@cynical-treestump
@mikathekiller
_____________________________
  “Be a good boy and get on your knees.” Negan’s voice was husky and laced with arousal. The teen shivered and did as told; trying his best not to fall over since his hands were tied behind his back.

  “There we go…so you DO know how to listen. Could have fooled me.”

  “Fuck you.” Carl spoke without thinking. The older man crouched down and grabbed a hold of his jaw firmly.

  “Even better. I’m going to put that pretty mouth to work. And you’re going to be a good little slut and take every fucking thing that I give you. Understood?”

  The teen took a deep breath but nodded none the less. He enjoyed this; being under the man’s control, doing whatever he told him to do. Though, he was still learning to squash his attitude and be a good sub for his lover.

  “Now, open up because I’m just dyin’ to fuck your throat.”

  The teen let a whimper slip out, but when the older man stood, he did as he was told and parted his lips for him.

  The older man chuckled and ran the tip of his cock across the teen’s lower lip, smearing a little pearl of pre-cum across it before he carefully pushed into his mouth. “Relax your throat. Just like I taught you.”

  The teen felt a sharp line of arousal shoot straight to his groin. God, it was fucked up just how much he enjoyed being used like this. He did his best to remember how to relax through the haze of arousal in his mind.

  He felt the tip his the back of his throat and he hummed quietly, just the way Negan liked him to do. He felt his ponytail being wrapped around the older man’s strong hand to keep his head where he wanted it.

  “Fuck you feel perfect. You take my cock so well, baby. Being such a good little slut for me.”

  The teen whimpered at the praise, moving his tongue to let his piercing brush against the sensitive underside of Negan’s shaft. It pulled a shameless, low groan from the man, and he felt him pick up the pace.

  Negan was watching him take everything in stride, and that alone was pushing him closer and closer to the edge. The boy looked so pretty with his cheeks flushed, drool tunning down his chin, slight tears in his eyes.

  He thrusted just a bit faster, a bit harder until he pressed in deep and came hotly down the teen’s throat. Carl moaned quietly in appreciation, breathing hard through his nose.

  Negan rode it out for a few moments before carefully pulling out. The teen took a deep breath, and looked up at his lover with a smile.

  “Did I do good?

  "You did such a good job for me. Exactly what I told you to do. You’re such a good boy.” He praised the teen, pulling him to stand up. He kissed the teen deeply for a few moments, before be pulled back.

  “Thank you, daddy.”

  “You’re welcome baby. Now, how about we get you taken care of, hm?”

anonymous asked:

Hay, I'm a Muslim girl in a Muslim country and I met a girl few months ago and we become very close friends, one day on April fools a told her that I love her she thought I was joking at first but when she realized that I'm not she was very cool with it, and we started talking and flirting and she told me she loves me too, and when we're texting she always says that she miss me and wants to hug me and cuddle and all that, when I saw her after that we hugged for a long time and we kissed...

answer in next one

anonymous asked:

have you ever been f****d in the a**

One time a flight attendant offered me a bag of chips and I happily accepted. It wasn’t until after I opened it that the flight attendant told me it cost money and I had to pay for it. And that would be the last time I would ever be fooled in the air.

i’m autistic and have anxiety disorders and i personally live in fear of april fools day because every single april 1st i get “pranked” in a way that takes advantage of my disabilities. like for the first 9 years of school my friends used to tell me the world was really going to end april 1st and that was my phobiaa s a child, so i would spend most of april fools day hiding in the bathrooms having a panic attack whenever a plane sound would go overhead AND ONE APRIL 1ST my friends told me one of my friends was dead and they got half the school to pretend this guy was dead and i was frantically trying to figure out if they were really dead so i asked a teacher and he was fucking IN ON IT a TEACHER. the last 4 years i have gotten screamers, cruel jokes that I can’t tell are sarcasm, or chain posts that scare me so muh i can’t sleep at night. i now avoid the internet and tv all day on april 1st and just sit in my room alone and don’t talk to anyone. because of my dsiabilities, I cannot tell when something is a joke or when someone is being sarcastic, even if it seems obvious to toher people

tl:dr: DON’T USE PEOPLES DISABILITIES AGAINST THEM TO “PRANK” THEM THIS APRIL 1ST. DON’T SEND SCREAMERS OR CHAIN POSTS OR FAKE YOUR DEATH OR BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE OR SEND SOMEONE THREATS.JUST STOP YOU’RE MAKING OUR LIVES WORSE

transcript of the speech i gave at Vassar’s black baccalaureate service

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and the Vassar class of 2017.
Just saying that aloud made me feel old. Class of 2017? Most of y'all were born after dark-skinned Aunt Viv left the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That’s wild.

I want to first thank you for allowing me to be a part of such a special moment in your lives. I am honored, privileged, and a bit in disbelief that you asked me of all people to give this address. I try not to have feelings, and I’m going to do my best not to cry today, but no promises.

I’m here to stand in the gap between you and your parents and guardians and any other elders in your lives that you stopped listening to because you thought they were wack and out of touch. I remember being in your shoes not TOO long ago, and it is my fervent prayer that something that I say here today will help you avoid some of the mess I went through.
To be honest I’m a little nervous, but I figured there was no way could this be worse than when Betsy DeVos went down to Bethune-Cookman, so let’s get started.

As you transition to life after Vassar the changes will be both inevitable and swift, so I’d like to begin by giving you some well-intentioned advice and warning you about the continued process of becoming an adult.

Keep reading

And evil takes a human form in Prince Lotor. Don’t be fooled, because he may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing, slut-faced ho-bag. But in reality, he is so much more than that.

“Prince Lotor is flawless.”

“He has two Zublorg purses and a silver spaceship.”

“I hear his hair’s insured for $10,000." 

"I hear he does spaceship commercials… in Balmera." 

"His favorite movie is The Princess Diaries." 

"One time he met Lance Mcclain on a mission to get crystals…”

“And I told him he was pretty.”

“One time he punched me in the face…”

“…it was awesome.”

US Presidents As Dril Tweets
  • George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
  • John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.
  • Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts
  • James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby
  • James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"
  • John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
  • Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!
  • Martin Van Buren: Food $200
  • Data $150
  • Rent $800
  • Candles $3,600
  • Utility $150
  • someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
  • William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good
  • John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this
  • James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom
  • Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying
  • Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...
  • Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...
  • Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"
  • Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off
  • Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,
  • James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now
  • Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark
  • Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site
  • Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc
  • William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!
  • Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*
  • Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer
  • Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me
  • Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals
  • Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud
  • Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me
  • Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume
  • Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed
  • John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self
  • Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"
  • Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups
  • Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right
  • Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again
  • Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn
  • George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT
  • Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,
  • George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,
  • Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line
  • Donald Trump: no
4

“I’m sorry, I have to go. My boyfriend is waiting for me,” Kara mutters, choking back tears that threaten to fall again. 

“B-boyfriend? Kara, I-,” Lena bit her tongue. She didn’t want to believe what she heard. She plastered a smile on her face at an attempt to hide the pain she felt in her chest. “Of course, I can’t keep holding you hostage,” she teased, quirking her eyebrow, “…though, I’d love for you to stay longer. I’m sure I can comfort you in ways that your boyfriend can’t.” 

Kara lets out a small laugh as she begins to excuse herself out the office. Her laugh was so radiant, and, oh so contagious…
Lena couldn’t help but chuckle to herself.
“I’ll see you around, Lena.”
“Until then, Kara Danvers,” she sultry replied.

I was a fool to think she could be mine. 

3

April Fools DLC After Ending: Continuation of the painful 2nd Normal Ending of April Fools DLC. The feel is too much… It hit me like a rock and killed me…

How to get this ending?

You won’t be able to get this ending because it’s 1000% fake lol even my art is nowhere near cheritz cz I can’t imitate their style lol I am sorry to those who haven’t played it yet because it’s contain major spoiler of that ending…

I am thankful to my dear friend, @707-despair who had shared her idea and made some lines suggestions… Thank you my friend~ :3

Happy Birthday, Zen… ^^~

This is my early birthday present for you~ Expect something again on your birthday tho haha…

2nd gift

The whole After Ending VNM is under the cut~

Keep reading

By Way of Spontaneity (Part 9)

Summary: On a whim, Bucky declares you to be his girlfriend to his grandma and mother. They’re eager to meet you and he asks you to pretend to be with him for just one dinner with his family. But is that really all?

Word Count: 816

Warnings: None.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

A/N: INBOX IS HERE. I apologize.

Originally posted by fuckyeahtonystark


Steve looked up from his laptop screen as Peggy came striding into the room, clad in only his dress shirt. He obviously ogled her and smiled when his eyes reached her toes and she wiggled them, toenails painted a vivid red.

“What are you doing?” she asked him, sitting down next to Steve and cuddling up to his side.

Steve gave a tiny shrug. “Enjoying our day off.”

Peggy scoffed. “By catching up on the latest gossip?”

“Hey, Facebook is quite the gossiper. I’ve found out remarkable things on this.”

Keep reading

I’m Cryin.

So I commissioned someone who is NOT on Fr and don’t knows the site to draw Kain a while ago. Yesterday while I wasn’t pying attention they accepted.
Took the ref and finished today.

And i come to my Inbox to find a picture of HD april fools Kain drawn for me. 
THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED.

At the same time I can’t blame the person at all because they thought this was his legitimate fucking ref I’m weeping.
Its such bad timing it’s hilarious. 

I Think I Wanna Marry You...

Pairing: Dean X Reader.

Warnings: none.

S/P/N- Sister’s Preferred Name.

Summary: The reader, distraught over not having a date to her sister’s wedding, considers asking one of the Winchesters to pretend to accompany her; will Dean manage to save the day and play pretend for two weeks, or will his feelings get the best of him?

A/N: I’m a sucker for these “fake relationship” stories ;))



                                                   ~*~*~*~

Y/N pulls the phone from her ear, her frustration drawn out in the creases in her brow.


“Well?” Dean asks, sat opposite her at the library table. Before him lies an open lore book, on a page about Nordic gods and how to kill them, and his cup of coffee sits dangerously close to the irreplaceable relic. With Sam out doing some shopping, it’s just the two of them at home, trying to dig up some info that might be useful for future use.


Pinching her brow, the young girl shakes her head, waving a dismissive hand.  “Nothing. It’s fine.”


“Ya’ sure?”


“Yes.” She says, trying to sound convincing, but its of no use, because the elder Winchester has known her long enough to see past her facades.


Living together for nearly five years now, calling her his best-friend even feels like an understatement. They got to know each other a while back through a hunt involving a Tulpa in California; Y/N’s kill, but the boy’s happened to jump in on it and help out. Surprise surprise: a friendship sparked,  and ever since then, the relationship has flourished greatly.


To Dean, Y/N is family, just like Cas or Charlie or any of the other members of their little rehabilitation program they’ve picked up over the years. And with that, he knows—well enough—that despite her efforts to dismiss it, something is nudging at her mind.


“Obviously not. You seem like you’re about to explode. What is it?” He shuts the book and leans forward. Y/N still looks exasperated; still tries to act like she isn’t, and fails terribly. When she finally lifts her gaze, her expression is that of defeat.


“It’s my sister.” She says mournfully. “She’s calling me about her wedding coming up this month, and wants to know if I’ve been signed up to the family news letter that allows me to see all the updates on things like which floral arrangement we’re going to have. Surprise surprise—I’m not.”


“Damn.” Dean says plainly, still not seeing the reason behind her chagrin. Y/N rolls her eyes at him, trying to look annoyed, but the smile that she suppresses says otherwise.


A sardonic laugh escapes her. “Yeah, damn indeed.”  She rises from her seat, downing her coffee. Dean glances at his, then stretches it across to her. She finishes it in a single glug.


“So….what now?” He leans back in the chair. “You don’t know the floral arrangements? Doesn’t sound so bad.”


“I don’t know anything about this wedding, Dean. I don’t know where it’s gonna be, I don’t know who’s gonna be there, and—until I few seconds ago—I didn’t know I’m going to have to be in Boston next week. S/P/N mentioned it in the newsletter but….” Her voice drifts off and she folds her lips into a straight-line, shrugging.


“What’s in Boston?”


“The wedding, apparently. Who even gets married in Boston? Yuck.” Y/N scowls.


“Your sister, apparently.” He almost rolls his eyes. “Right, so…go to Boston. Show up for the rehearsal, see your family, have fun, and then get back here once everything’s done.”


Dean explains it like it’s so easy.  To him, it is.  Wedding prepping can’t take more than three weeks, can it….? He wouldn’t know. He’s never had the chance to even be part of a wedding, but he assumes that that’s an appropriate estimate.


But, from the way Y/N bites her lip and averts her gaze to the floor, a look teetering between guilt and embarrassment on her face, maybe he’s wrong.


“Yeaahhh….” She draws out, skeptically. “Uhm…about that. It’s not as easy as it sounds…”


“Uhm…?” He quirks an inquisitive brow.


“I…sorta…told them that I have a date to the wedding and,…” Y/N gestures in the air, but doesn’t finish her sentence.


Dean watches her with a knitted brow, waiting for an explanation that doesn’t come, until realizations strikes. His eyes widen and his mouth forms a little “o”.


“Ohhh.”


“Yeah…” Her cheeks are dusted with a feint blush and she looks away.


Dean doesn’t want to say it, but he can’t help but think how cute it is—really cute. The only thing that can compete, he thinks, is the way her eyes disappear into her cheeks when she smiles.


As embarrassing as it is, he has almost an entire list like that about Y/N; things he thinks are adorable about her, things like her laugh, to  he way she’s so awkward around big crowds,  or how she has an undeniable obsession with space. Little things. Cute things. It goes on and on, infinite and growing each day, the more and more he gets to know her…but he’ll never admit that.


Because he can’t.


Because Y/N is family, and she’s just a friend.


“Well…is it like a must to bring one along? You could always just tell your family that you guys…broke up? Maybe he cheated. Maybe the love fizzled out.” Dean offers, shrugging.


Y/N looks at him with an un-amused expression. “Great thing to mention right before a wedding.”


“God, I don’t know.” Getting up from his seat, he rolls his eyes. He shuts the book and a gust if dust billows from it, then fixes it under his arm.“You’ll figure it out. It’s you.”


“Dean…”


“Yeah?”


Y/N doesn’t meet his gaze. Instead, she looks to the floor, arms crossed over her chest.“Well,…there is something I thought about doing, but—God, I don’t know. What if, like—” She finally looks up.


Dean waits for the bombshell he knows she’s about to drop with a cautious, furrowed brow,


“—I asked Sam?”  She finishes, her expression hopeful; her eyebrows are pulled together and she’s squinting slightly. The elder Winchester feels the wind get knocked out of him at hearing this.


His eyes widen. “Sam?”


“Not to actually be my date!—just to fool my family for the two weeks. Do you think he’ll go along with it?”


“I don’t get it—why don’t you just—“


“I can’t tell them I don’t have a date, because I already told them that I do. Going back on my word now will just make me look ridiculous, Dean. Just…”Y/N sighs and shuts her eyes. Dean can read the desperation in her features. He bites his lip, contemplating Y/N’s offer.


Sam, going on a date with Y/N. The idea is so ludicrous, so unbelievable that it sounds completely silly, like imagining pigs fly or anything of the nature. He can’t bring himself to even picture the two of them together, but…


Still.


He then feels something stir in his gut at the thought, a warmth, a….jealousy? No. Hopefully not. It’s been ages since these feelings have managed to surface. Now is not the time for a return. The elder Winchester quickly suffocates the feeling and averts his attention back onto his friend.


 Before him she stands, imploring y/e/c eyes, a sweet smile stretched across her face and hands clasped together. She looks like a little girl, so young, so desperate. The elder Winchester doesn’t want to say no. Even if he did—with puppy eyes like those—how can you?


“So you have to have a date to this wedding?”


“I do.”


Dean thinks for a moment, raking his eyes over Y/N’s face that speaks mountains of uncertainty.


“You think he’ll say no, huh?”


“I’ll do it.”


“What?” Confusion floods the young girls face as she unclasps her hands. They fall to her side. Dean gulps trying to level his voice to a more confident tone.


“I’ll be your date to your sister’s wedding.” He repeats, hoping he sounds more sure than he feels. His hands go cold, throat tightening.


Y/N’s face speaks volumes of surprise. “You’d…do that?”


Another nod.


“You’ll really do this?” She asks eyes wide. “A whole two weeks in Boston? With my family?”


Dean shrugs. For some wild reason, his heart is pounding in his chest and his palms are sweating, and he tries to stave off all the anxiety that begins to bubble within his gut. “Yeah. Why not?”


“Dean,” Y/N’s voice is stern all of a sudden. You can tell that she’s just as taken aback by the proposal as he is, but is trying not to show it. “If you say yes to this, I don’t want you to half-ass it? This is a real big deal for me, you know?”


“Look, do you want a date to this wedding or not?”


Y/N  then bites her lip, contemplating. The elder Winchester’s eyes never leave her as he watches, waiting for response, until she finally agrees.


“Okay.” She says. A small smile then twitches on her lips, and Dean can see she’s trying to suppress.


“ Okay. Awesome. I’m gonna call S/P/N and see if there’s anything more I need to know yeah?” She asks. He nods.


“Sure.” Dean says. “It’s fine with me.”


“Sure?”


“Mhm.” He knows he is, because the smile that breaks through Y/N’s authoritative face then is something definitely worth the decision. Her cheeks indented with dimples, she smiles, shaking her head, and then walks out to make the call. On the way out, she makes sure she butts her shoulder into his, just for fun. Dean lets out a nervous chuckle.


She’s gone. The empty library is silent, and that’s when his heart starts to thud.


Over and over, like a vicious doldrums. The silence only accentuates the sound of his rapid heartbeat, as the elder Winchester allows in a deep breath. His eyes flutter shut, and the anxiety begins to melt away gradually.


This is gonna be a hell of a wedding.


                                                  ~*~*~*~

Part 2

I’ve been in my feelings for Dean for the past few weeks so bear with me pls. Also, I’m very excited for this story; more chapters to come, hopefully soon.

As always, likes, re blogs and general feedback is greatly appreciated!