they taste awful man

anonymous asked:

How do you get on Robert's good side? All that happens for me is he ignores my messages and that somehow ends up as a date? I can't seem to get his good ending :T

Well, first off, when Amanda’s friends came over I just went to bed. 

Then after that, I hit up Joseph on Dadbook, went on a 10/10 baking date (that’s literally my dream date?? hell yes??), and messaged Robert the next day. When he finally messaged me “you up? wyd” in the middle of the night like a tried-and-true fuckboy, I said I was watching TV with my daughter, and he invited me out to a bar (with Mary.) Just keep saying you want whiskey and don’t act like a narc. Be nice to Mary, too. Ask her to buy the next round of drinks when you get to the pub. And boom, you’re on his good side.

Love Potion

Day One

8:24 AM

This is so not worth the hundred bucks I’m getting paid to do this. I hate you Gus. I fucking hate you. Now for the serious part of this ‘scientific’ journal.

My name is Brian Vance. I’m seventeen years old and a junior in high school. I’m a virgin (is this really necessary Gus) and I’ve never been on a date in my life. The closest I got to a date was to asking my eighth grade crush on a date. She said yes, but stood me up. Who’s surprised?

Gus Katsoros is the 'scientist’ who concocted the 'Love Potion’. It comes in a cologne and drinkable form, supposedly helps you secrete natural pheromones to attract the opposite sex. I am one of three guys using both the cologne and the drink. I will be using the cologne and drinking one ounce of the Love Potion before I go to school, and at night will be drinking another ounce of the Love Potion before I go to bed. I’ll be doing that, now.

Ugh! Gus. If you’re going to label something a 'Love Potion’, don’t make it taste like mud. For the final product, for the love of god, add some honey or sugar. Hell, high fructose corn syrup, whatever gets the job done! Just don’t. Make it taste like dirt. The cologne ain’t so bad though. Smells like it tastes, which it makes a much better scent than taste. Off to school.

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Faraday’s Girl

Pairing: Josh Faraday x Reader

Author: @star-pratt

Words: 3579

Author’s Note: I love this fic. Absolutely love it! So enjoy it! It’s got some sin in it so you’re welcome! Thank’s to the greatest @lovelydob for proofreading this for me!

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About princesses and dragons

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Language, Angst (but fluff cause I’m a slut for fluff!) 

A/N: So, in Spain today is St. George’s day. A day when girls receive a rose as a present and the boys a book from their s/o. It’s a day based in the world knowed legend about the princess who is rapted by a dragon and a knight who comes in her rescue.

Summary: The legend says that the princess awaits for a shinny armor knight to come and rescue her from the terrible dragon… But maybe you don’t want to be saved at all from your Dragon

A bubbly laugh echoes through the walls of the compound followed by your delighted chuckles. 

- He’s the cutest thing ever - you state amazed by the tiny human on your arms. Elisabeth, a brilliant scientist who works for Tony, had bring her new born son to the compound so all the Avengers can know him. This little boy should be very proud of himself by having grown ass men and women, who had fight againts aliens, amazed about his small existence. They all are making a circle around you and him while his mother can’t stop laughing.

- Let me grab him - Tony makes grabby hands demanding to hold the little one

- You already hold him! It’s my turn - Natsha pushes him with her elbow placing herself in front of you. You handle him to her carefully and the small boy tangle his fingers on Nat’s red hair. 

You step back, your grin threaten to break your cheeks by the cuteness of the situation. Turning your head you realize that Bucky is nowhere to be seen. He has been there a minute ago… Crossing your gaze with Steve he shoots you a sad smile. You frown.

Leaving everyone on the livingroom you walk through the compound searching for him. He is nowhere, what the hell? The only part of the tower to look is the one which Stark is remodeling, but no one goes there, there’s no lights, neither windows yet. But your instinct makes you do a step forward and before you realize you are walking over bricks and empty cases searching for him. 

You really don’t expect to find him there so you startle a bit when you spot his figure in the middle of the dark.

- B-Buck? 

He doesn’t move his head from between his legs and you can’t see his face because his arms block your view. You step towards him and kneel. 

- Bucky? - you try again. This time he raises his head and you gasp noticing his red and puffy eyes - Hey, what’s wrong? - inmediately your hands go to his face to check for possible injuries - What happened James?

Not saying a word he grabs your wrists and push your hands away from him

- Nothing, go away - he says, deadpan

You froze. You try to reach him again

- Buck what…? - but before you can touch him again he flinch back and looks at you sternerly

- I said go away, I don’t want you here - he grunts

You feel a pang on pain in your chest and it becomes difficult to breath naturally

- What the hell? Why are you talking to me like this? - you spat hurted, why is he being so rude with you? - James, please, talk to me, what’s the problem? - Because of the lack of light you can’t utterly read his facial expression and you are getting nervous

- I don’t want you here - he shakes his head - I don’t need you, go away Y/N - he says a little bit louder 

- Bucky…. - you blink fast trying to contain the tears

- Leave me alone, damn it!! - he shouts. You flinch away a little bit scared, he has never shouted to you

- No!! not until you tell me what the hell happens! - you shout back

He grunts tired and stands up ready to leave you alone in the dark room. With your heart beating fast on your chest you jump on your feet and put your body on the door, blocking the only way out of the room.

- Move - he just says not meeting your eyes

- Move me - you dare, some tears escaping from your eyes

- Y/N… - he grunts but doesn’t move a muscle to touch you

- Bucky - you retort

He sighs shakily and raise his hands to his face

- Just give up… please - his voice small, fragile, opposite to the one he used just a second ago - Give up on me

- What are you saying Buck…? 

- I’m saying that i’m letting you go Y/N, you are free, you don’t have to be stucked with me in the dark, damnit - you can’t see his eyes but you know that he is crying 

- W-what? - the world start spinning dangerously, your blood pumping hard by your veins

- Be happy doll, I want you to be happy - he ducks his hands and between his eyelashes you can see his blue tired eyes sparking because of the tears - Go away from me, found someone who can give you all what you deserve

- Stop, Bucky, stop - is hard for you to gulp now - what are you saying? W-Why are you saying this to me? - you plant your hands on his chest and this time he doesn’t reject your touch

- I don’t want to drag you with me to the darkness, and that’s all I am… darkness - your mouth falls open, he thinks that he’s not good enough? 

- Buck stop right now, you are not! You are a good man who makes me truly happy - you raise your hands to his face and force him to look at you - I don’t want anyone else, never crossed my mind. I’m happy Bucky, you make me happy

- You deserve so much better Y/N - his eyes detach sadness - What if someday you want kids? I’m not sure I can give you all what you need doll, I’m not enough… - he has seen you with Elisabeth son? All of this is because it?

- Stop saying this Buck! You are more than enough, you hear me? You are the man who I choose to love, with everything that you are, your present and your past. I want and LOVE all of you, James. I don’t know where life will bring us, neither if I’ll want kids or.. iguanas - you chuckle -  but I just know one thing - he looks fixedly at you, eyes a little bit wider - Every step of my life I make, I’ll do it with you by my side. We are in this together, okay? I love you Bucky, forever. You are enough, you hear me? Never say that again, please - you voice cracks a little by the end and your eyes get wet again seeing how, down his cheeks, run tears which he doesn’t try to wipe away.

- Doll.. I…I - he tries to talk but emotions overwhelm him and you are suddenly wrapped by his arms which hugs you close to him. The embrace you share is full of emotions and you correspond to it with all your forces, rubbing his back when all his body trembles while he sobs, face hided on your hair.

- I love you Bucky - you say, one time and another - I will repeat it to you until you believe me, I don’t care how many times I’ll have to say it

- I do - he sniff kissing your scalp - I do believe you Y/N, I love you so fucking much… 

You push back softly and raise on your tip toes to peck his swollen lips. He corresponds the kiss and lifts you from the ground to deepen the kiss. Your arms round his head while your legs make the same on his waist, and you drop little kisses over his jaw and face until he stops crying. 

- You are stucked with me forever man, I don’t care how awful your taste on music is - you tease playfully and your heart inflates on your chest when he gives you a wide brigh smile.

- My pleasure doll - he kiss your lips tenderly

And like that, the most dark room on the tower, gets the brightest for you. Happily you will spend your days stucked in there with him.

A/N: Yeah, I have always had a weak spot for the dragon :)

Over Brownies and Wine

Anon asked:   Can I have an imagine with JJ, please? Even though she’s married and has kids - whom I love - I don’t see many people writing about her. So I was thinking her and Will can be separated due to something serious, you’re the kids’ nanny and she gets closer to you from confiding in you when the kids are asleep and you’re drinking wine one night and feelings come out and it’s just super fluffy and cute and lots of kisses. ☺️💗

A/N:  I agree little nonny, give me more JJ.  Hope you like this!  I decided to keep JJ and Will’s separation open meaning I didn’t give a reason why they’re not together, so you can decide on that!

Originally posted by jj-gifs

Y/N turned the egg timer, grinning as Henry and Michael looked excitedly at the brownies she’d put in the oven.

“Good job, guys,” she said enthusiastically.  They watched the slow-baking goods under the oven light, anticipating the ding of the timer.

“How long do they have to be in there?” Henry asked.  He was covered in brownie batter, luckily wearing the tiny apron that Y/N had bought as a birthday present last year.

“For forty minutes.  You gotta let them bake long enough for them to taste really good,” she told them, rubbing Michael’s head.

“Aw man,” Henry retorted, stomping his foot on the ground.

“You know, I bet that by the time you guys take a bath, once you’re finished, the brownies will be done,” she replied with raised eyebrows.

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silver-bridges  asked:

How much of a fan of lovecraft are you?

I am a casual fan of his writing.  I’ve read The Call of Cthulhu, The Dunwich Horror, The Rats in the Walls, and a few other of his short stories that I don’t remember as well as those three.  I’ve also read up on the basic lore of the Cthulhu Mythos and have some feelings about how it should be handled.

But while I think he’s an incredibly effective horror writer (and I definitely want to finish reading the rest of his stuff someday), he’s far from my favorite.  His stories tend to be bleak, and his intense xenophobia is always present in all of them - which, while definitely helpful in getting the horror of the story across, can also leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Lovecraft himself was an awful little man - a somewhat tragic one, sure, but still horrendously racist.

He Really Loves Cuddling [a Barry Allen AU] (Part 12)

a/n: not a request, but i feel like u needed more; i needed more after a day of mid-terms

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 |

Mornings seem to envy Barry. He feels your arms shift around his torso and does his best to stifle his whines, forcing his eyes to stay closed for just a little longer. He doesn’t want to get up and take his pill. He hates pills! And it’s so warm in your arms… Maybe if he holds your limbs to his just a bit tighter…

“Barr, we gotta get up, sweetheart.” you mumble behind his ear, reaching your arm up to stroke the growing hair on his pale cheek. His lips pucker into a pout at he nuzzles his face into the light blue pillow case. A sigh drops from your mouth; it’s always tough getting him out of bed. “It’s Eddie’s birthday today… Do you wanna shave?” you ask in a gentle tone.

He shakes his head on the pillow, fluffing his milk chocolate locks in the process. Another sigh flutters past your lips while you heave him up in a sitting position, much to his disappointment. His shoulders slump but he manages to get his legs untangled from the sheets. He knows that if he doesn’t get up, you will pull him out of the bed, like you did a few days ago.

Smiling proudly, you grab his lanky hand, leading his long hairy legs to the bathroom. He sleeps in his dark gray boxer briefs and a ratty old CCPD shirt. Your penguin pajama bottoms sway against your skin and your bare feet come into contact with the warm baby blue bathroom tiles.

When you turn the sink handle, you peer up at your boyfriend, who stares at you with tired eyes. Giggling faintly, you wet a washcloth, reaching up to wipe his face. “Someone’s sleepy.” you grin, seeing him blink at the cool dampness. The wet washcloth thumps on the counter. Your pale yellow spaghetti strap tank top brushes in front of him when you reach for the two toothbrushes, handing him his.

After the daily routine, you drag him back to the bedroom, standing in front of the small closet. Barry sighs, bringing a shaky hand up to scratch his jawline. He pulls on a pair of jeans, follows by an oversized red speckled sweater, plopping on the bed while you shimmy on a pair of black skinny jeans and a striped blue long sleeve shirt. “D-do we go-gotta -”

“We’re going, Barry.” you say curtly, gesturing to head downstairs. His polkadot socks pad down the stairs very slowly, followed by your neon purple socks. When he heads to the living room, you grab his bicep, yanking him to the kitchen. “Pill time.” you mumble, opening the cabinet to get the bottle.

The brunette whines in protest, eyeing the water filling up the glass. But, when you fork over the pill, he takes it ‘like a man’. It still tastes awful. His face scrunches after he drinks the water, giving you the the glass back; he almost drops it. You save it just in time. “S-sorry…” he frowns, corners of lips dropping to his brown scruff.

You shrug it off, setting the glass on the counter before walking to the door. Slowly, he slips his shaky feet into his black and white converse. You know he’s trying to be late; you know your Barry. When you get on your black Vans, you notice he still doesn’t have his shoes tied. “Here, sweetheart.” You bend over, quickly knotting the laces.

A blush morphs on his cheeks and he pecks your lips when you stand up. “I-I lo-love you.” he hums, grinning when he feels your hand on the side of his face. He loves your touch. It comforts him.

“I love you too, my pretty boy.” you beam, adoring the way his face flushes. “Now, come along, handsome.” You grab Eddie’s birthday present and keys off the side table before going out the door. Barry’s twitching hand takes the bright yellow sparkly bag, letting you unlock the car. He opens the driver’s door for you, allowing you to slide into the leather seat before climbing into the passenger seat.

Through the drive, his left hand clasps your right, thumb doodling on Y/C/S. He pays attention to your quiet singing and feels his chest loosen, letting him breathe. Yet, when he sees the lineup of cars at Eddie and Iris’ house, he has to grip your hand tighter, making sure you’re still here. Parking, you lean over, kissing him deeply, “You’re gonna have fun, trust me, pretty boy.” you promise, popping open the door.

A huff dangles from his lips and after staring at the gift for a minute, he exits the car, following you up the stairs. Your knuckles rap on the oak door and you smile from ear to ear as soon as it swings open. “Happy birthday, Eddie!” you yell, hugging the young detective, scrunching his dark green Henley.

Eddie puts on a goofy smile, rubbing your back shortly before pulling away. “Ah, thanks Y/N!” he says bashfully, peering over your shoulder, “Barr! So glad you made it, buddy! Everyone’s here!” he exclaims, tugging your boyfriend inside the cosy home.  

You trail behind the duo, eyes widening a fraction when you realize the size of the party. Practically the entire CCPD is here! Oh no, your Barry… You can see him shake like a leaf as Eddie talks with the other police officers, arm around his shoulders. “Y/N! You guys made it!” Iris shouts, one hand on your forearm and the other on your upper back, lips cracked in a perfect smile.

You chuckle awkwardly, fixing your hair, keeping an eye on your tall brunette. “Yeah, I’m really excited to be here! And not just for the cake!” you joke, toying with the end of your sweater while she leads you to the back, “Oh! Hello! I’m Y/N!” you grin, introducing yourself to a group of people.


Okay, you got too into the conversation and now you can’t find Barry. “I, um, need to use the bathroom?” you ask more than state, excusing yourself. As you brush by a few people, you notice Eddie laughing at the dinner table, finishing off his last piece of cake- by the way, the cake was delicious. But, no Barry with him.

“- shaved? Soon you’re gonna lose your boyish charm, Allen. Maybe even your girl… Still got that twitch, I see.” You hear a few gruff laughs and your blood starts to ignite. Oh, nobody says something like that to your boy!

Stomping into the living room, your ice colored shirt sways against your stomach and your heart drops when you see Barry. He’s slumped on the couch with his head ducked down, hands curled into tight fists at his sides. “Oh handsome!” you call out, causing his head to snap up, “I wanna go home and cuddle.” you pout, making the ‘come here’ motion with your index finger.

A couple of the guys’ mouths drop to the floor. “O-okay!” he shouts, hopping from the couch and racing toward you, stumbling a lot. But, cuddles! Oh boy, he loves, loves, loves cuddling with you! “I-I ge-get c-c-cuddles?” he asks, mocking a puppy as he bends over, arm outstretched due to your fast pace.

You nod, waving goodbye to Eddie. “Uh-huh, you get all the cuddles!” you say in a cheerful tone, masking your anger while you hop down the porch steps. Dropping his hand, you pull the keys out of your pocket, unlocking the car.

“Y-Yes…” he hums under his breath.

EXO Reaction to you Not Liking Another Member’s Girlfriend

I’m going to try finish all of my reaction and ship requests today so look forward to those :)))) - Jasmine

(none of these gifs are mine)


XIUMIN: well if he’s happy its ok right?

TAO: I’ve realized that to! *total pissed*

SUHO: Don’t my sons have good taste?

SEHUN: *tries to warn him* (you’re baekhyun)

LUHAN: aw man not again

LAY: *he doesn’t like her either*

KRIS: So what do you want me to do get rid of her?

you: maybe

Kris: well…

KAI: well let’s just enjoy the show then until it ends *is kinda mad*

D.O:  *walks over to the girl when her and chanyeol break up* bye bitch

CHEN: *is happy someone undertsands him*

CHANYEOL:  ehh it will end soon anyways

BAEKHYUN: Then go tell her

You: ok 

Baekhyun: *gif*

“You really don’t trust anyone do you?”
“Never met anyone worth trusting.”
“Well, that is a very lonely way to live.”
“You have no idea.”

anonymous asked:

That playlist is all songs I used to listen to during a wonderful time in my life or ones in a similar style. Hit so hard by nostalgia that I cried in a good way. Thanks for sharing, you've got a good taste in music. ❤️

aw man?? i don’t know what to say! thank you so much!! i’m glad you liked it! :0

Benny's Hunger - A One Shot
Author: asfalseascressid

Original Imagine Link: x

Warnings: Blood, hunger/starvation, some gore.

Word Count: 1,144

Few things saddened Dean more than pressing on the brakes of his beloved baby, despite the necessity. Fortunately, the person he was visiting made the deceleration worth it, he knew, as he guided the old tires over the gravel parking lot of Benny’s dilapidated food shack. He made a concerted effort to visit his friend every three months. He always told Sam he still had a debt to settle, but even Dean couldn’t fool himself with that shit – Benny was a brother, too.

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