they should adopt

Sid and Princess as Wysterian Rulers

Albert: Princess, you look very stunning for the meeting between Stein and Wysteria.

Princess: Thank you, Albert. I actually decided to dress a little more casual since we’re doing a tour of town as well.

Sid: I also decided to keep it casual.

Albert: Y-You’re … not wearing any pants.

Princess: *shrugs* I tried Albert, I really did.

Bonus

Byron: *pointing at Sid* Is that a Wysterian custom? We should adopt that.

anonymous asked:

So about not leaving men alone with kids, even their own... you don’t think gay men should be able to adopt children? You think single dads should have their kids taken from them?(even if the reason they’re a single dad is because the mom died, not that they split up)

Until men stop being a statistical danger to children? Yeah, they shouldn’t be allowed alone with them for any length of time. Not surprised that y'all jumped to ‘poor men’ as opposed to 'yeah true, less kids would get raped’.

How to Draw Tundras 101

Step 1:
Draw a Lion

Step 2:
Draw a better Lion

Step 3:
Realize for some reason you need to make this Lion a Giant Lizard instead
(embiggen him)

Step 4:
Lighten, because no way in hell do you want to redraw that from scratch

Step 5:
?????? Tundra on top???

Step 6:
BAM

Now go forth, and draw needlessly large and floofy Paw-Hand Lizards

So I work for my local Child Protective Services...

And everyone’s response is the same when they hear this: sympathy, they could never do my job, ouch, etc. Very appropriate responses, but all of these are typically in regards to the families I work with.

I will be honest: many of the parents I encounter should never have been parents. Ever. Many should not even be trusted with a cactus, nonetheless another living being. However, most of my families AREN’T like this, and the ones which are like this I tend to give some slack, even as I’m working like hell to keep their kids safe. Many of them have severe mental health issues, and many have been told, despite not having a parenting bone in their body, that they SHOULD be parents and they needed to grow up and BE parents, without ever acknowledging that parenting is completely beyond their abilities.

Which brings me to the frustrating portion of the job: people who SHOULD know better and yet don’t. 

These are the supposedly mentally healthy, educated, intelligent beings who return to the children to the parents against all evidence pointing out how terribly this will end. These are the people who struggle to provide evidence against the parents in court because they want to be liked and they don’t want to bad talk the parents. These are the people who close their eyes against warning sign after warning sign because despite multiple HORRIFIC failures, they want to give these parents a chance, because they’re sure that these parents love their children and want the best for them…deep down. Really deep down.

There is a view on what parenting is supposed to be and what the relationship between parents and their children are supposed to be and don’t get me started on the myths regarding maternal instincts. It’s easy to get wrapped up in ideals and ignore the blatant evidence right in front of them, and the result is too many children being endangered…and in some cases, depending on the children, people AROUND the children being endangered.

I had one adoptive parent, who was related to the father, be so upset because the father couldn’t “man up” and take responsibility because he was signing away his rights to the child. I had to convince her that he WAS fulfilling his responsibility: by recognizing that he could not possibly parent the child and was allowing the child to grow up in a good home.

I’m childfree, and I’ve heard multiple times that I should have kids and I would be such a good mother and blahblahblah. Being childfree has given me a perspective a lot of people around me don’t have. These people believe that everyone should have children and everyone has the instinct to love, protect, and nurture those children. This can lead to actively dangerous situations for the children, and even when the parent states that they can’t do it, that they hate the child, that they want someone else to have the child, I still hear judges and counselors and service providers insisting that if the parent just had a LITTLE MORE HELP…

So, no. It’s typically not the parents which make my job so hard. It’s the people who should know better and get confused when everything goes to hell.

Headcanon that Stephanie pretty frequently “yells” at Cass:

“Cassandra Wayne, what the hell makes you think I will look good in that getup.”

“Cassandra Wayne, how dare you steal the last Thin Mint cookie.”

“Don’t even THINK about it, Cassandra Wayne!”

And Bruce is confused and mildly concerned and he finally asks Barbara,

“Does it seem like Stephanie…scolds Cassandra a lot?”

Barbara tries not to laugh at Bruce, but the effort just makes her mouth screw up in a funny way, and she can tell he is well aware that she is trying not to laugh at him.

“Oh, Bruce,” she sighs, “She does that so Cass can hear her new name. Y’know, it’s not like she’s in school and would hear it called out loud very often.”

Bruce stupidly says, “Oh,” but doesn’t have room to feel embarrassed because he’s too busy feeling his heart swell.

The next time Stephanie says it, he pays attention to the little smile Cassandra flashes.

Gwen should adopt Max

You’ve heard of David being the number one Dad, but what about Gwen adopting Max and becoming number one mom?

Gwen and Max can both be rather pessimistic and understand each other’s boundaries creating a bond.

Gwen knows Max’s past, and dual majoring in psychology helps her understand Max’s actions.

They love the same tv shows and movies, and they often go to the theatre together.

They make large trays of food and invite David over for little parties when they binge their trashy tv shows.

Gwen being asked if she’s Max’s sister constantly, and one day Max telling anyone who asks that she’s his mom.

Gwen being super emotional over something silly like a tv show and Max teasing her.

Gwen goes back to school and they help each other with homework.

Gwen letting David move in so that he can help with rent and Max can have a male figure in his life.

Both of them wanting to murder David for being so cheerful no matter what time of day.

They go on an outing to celebrate one month of David staying with them, and Max tells anyone who asks that Gwen and David are his mom and dad.

Gwen and David both cry and Max gets flustered and threatens them.

Gwen taking Max out on what they call “Mommy and Me days,” and they shop for clothes and treat themselves to massages and pedicures.

They are an ultimate sass team, and do not hold back when they double team someone and almost always make someone cry.

Gwen is shocked when Max and David work together to give her the best Mother’s Day.

All together her and Max just being the cutest Mother and Son duo ever.

new dating methods humans should consider adopting
  • gathering the most amount of stones and forming the tallest mound to be immediately married
  • sleeping for 13 years and then emerging screaming to bring the girls to the yard
  • reckless colorful dancing in the direction of your crush
  • straight up wrecking each other in a fist fight, last person standing gets to go to the movies
  • one Mega Mother who does all the dating for us, bears all the kids (she is also our undisputed leader)
  • no dating, detaching a limb and letting it grow into a new version of yourself