they saved my life several times

The livestream kept dropping out and now I know what a pararibulitis attack feels like because my heart stopped several times (though sincere gratitude to sharkcats​ for literally saving my life on this front). But here are some things I’m thinking about this episode, sweet jesus dicks in my mouth, what a wild fucking ride and a half that was.

  • I screeched at the screen when Silas was trying to lie to his mother. Even with the very existence of Wendimoor at stake, he couldn’t bring himself to say that he’d killed his beloved. He said that Pantos tripped on a rock and his head exploded which wow, there’s being a bad liar and there’s being Silas. And “there’s no such thing as Dirk Gently” is excellent because it suggests that the prophecy knows who Dirk truly is. It didn’t tell them to find Svlad Cjelli. It didn’t tell them to find Project Icarus. It told them to find Dirk. But I love Silas and would happily fight someone to protect him.
  • Within ten seconds Dirk and Todd are fighting over Mona, and within ten minutes Todd’s being demoted over Mona. It’s hilarious, but also super-ominous. I don’t think Max is going to go for the whole love triangle cliche but still, why wouldn’t Todd be stressed and intimidated by the sudden introduction of a childhood friend who has the same experiences as Dirk? Who maybe understands Dirk in a way that Todd never could?
  • Why was Todd asking for a phone call at the police station? Who the fuck was he going to call?
  • … what if he was going to panic and call Estevez though.
  • “This is easily the best interaction with a police officer I’ve ever had” yes Dirk, because the other two died.
  • Dirk in handcuffs after being free for a fraction of a second. Presented without comment.
  • Dirk saying “I love you” for the first time on screen. Also presented without comment.
  • It’s highly likely that Todd’s “I need you to help me find Amanda” and “we’re all being punished” is going to be the start of Dirk’s existential hellspiral into holistic anxiety and depression and rewatching this episode in a few weeks time is going to be very painful.
  • I appreciate how relatable Susie was for the majority of the episode because it really hammers home how utterly human she is, and I feel like that’s going to be one of the most tragic parts of her character. She does some housework, fixes her hair and produces a metric fucktonne of money and literally all of us would do the same. It’s a fundamentally comprehensible thing that she does. She finally responds to her son in the way we all wanted her to respond. She’s one of us until the precise moment when she’s not.
  • I did not at all enjoy seeing Amanda covered in blood. I did enjoy seeing her and Vogel continue their road trip. And Vogel baby, I know you’re missing your older brothers but you’re plenty scary enough by yourself if you need to be. Please never change.
  • Dirk has a colourful jacket again and it’s not what he would’ve chosen for himself, sure. But he’s wearing a mutant hybrid of his Blackwing uniform and a gift given to him out of the kindness of Hobbs’ heart and that’s probably a very good representation of where he’s currently sitting emotionally. He’s just gained two new friends on top of getting two old ones back and therefore he doesn’t care as much that he’s still marked on his jumpsuit as government property.
  • “A government prison for psychics” is Blackwing in a nutshell though, I don’t give a single solitary shit how good Riggins thought it would be.
  • Ken had one scene and literally stole the entire episode. Much in the same way that he hopefully steals Blackwing. But I’m hoping that in the same way Amanda can virtually throw Vogel at people who piss her off, it’ll turn out that Ken can throw the rest of the Rowdies in the direction of the CIA and watch as they wreak havoc.
  • So I’m assuming that if Priest hadn’t turned up, Martin could’ve just… killed Friedkin? Flat-out murdered him? Is this a thing that was going to happen on-screen?
  • The entire fucking scene with Friedkin and Priest. I just. I don’t have words to describe how much I adored their dynamic in a hideously villainous, entirely magnetic kind of way. Friedkin was so shaken up after Martin fed on him, much in the same way that he was shaken up after being attacked by the Rowdy 3 in Very Erectus, and he instigated the conflict both times and fully deserves all of the trouble he’s in but it explains so damn much about why he’s doing what he’s doing.
  • Priest was responsible for bringing in thirty of the original forty-two subjects and I’m willing to bet cold hard dirty cash that he captured Martin, Gripps and Cross (and can you imagine how traumatizing it would’ve been if he captured a much younger Vogel too). He knew how to deal with Martin. He’s so confident in his ability to inflict violence that he can say to Friedkin “ethics is not a priority” and “I’m no good” because he knows damn well that Friedkin’s shaken up enough that he’s susceptible to someone more forceful (and I’m down for a power struggle between Priest and Ken over ultimately control of Blackwing).
  • It’s unlikely as all hell but christ, what if Priest was the one to collect Dirk during Blackwing Mark I? How terrifying would that be for a small child? Where is this angst fest?
  • Boy oh boy, “I’m just a gun, Friedkin… I don’t do anything unless you pull the trigger” is a hilarious counterpoint to “don’t take the shot” because Friedkin saw his shot to be in charge… took the shot… and now he’s so far out of his depth that it’s not even funny. I don’t know what the moral of the story is here beyond “some shots just shouldn’t be taken”.
  • The Lux Dujour poster on the wall like surprise bitch, bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.
  • And I’m officially calling it now; Susie used to be a first-class grade-A bitch before the accident. Her now-deceased manager said that the accident was the best thing that happened to her and I know he was an asshole, but that doesn’t mean that he couldn’t be right about this. Her son said that he’s not scared of her any more. Her new behaviour is different enough that her husband is commenting on it with “none of it is going to fix what happened… you can’t change who you really are”. I’m thinking that if the accident wasn’t her fault, it was at least some sort of cosmic retribution. And I don’t know how i feel about the whole disability-as-karma trope but I’m also willing to give Max the benefit of the doubt and see where they’re going with it.
  • But speaking of Susie curing her limp. It was utterly heartwarming to see her on the trampoline and it begs the question; could she theoretically cure Todd and Amanda’s pararibulitis? Or could she make it worse? Because lordy may, that could be a clusterfuck and a half if she turns out to be the Bellatrix to the Mage’s Voldemort.
  • That ending rivals the ending of Watkin where Gordon Rimmer beats Sammy’s head in with the guitar. This is a villain coming into their own. This is our introduction to someone with depth and complexity beyond what we’ve been shown so far and it’s chilling because they were so close to being sympathetic in so many ways. “The silence is nice” is going to haunt me for the next week at least, holy shit. The final scene was a literal “kick the dog” moment. Max, no. Max, why.

And I’m going to spend the next week paranoid that the Mage is lurking behind me because of terrifying holistic reasons.

Just saw some garbage written by people who are severely uninformed on honeybees. You can debate whether or not honey is vegan. I couldn’t care less! Just don’t say that beekeeping is harmful to bees. Also, don’t try to invalidate what honeybees do. I could write a novel on this, but I don’t have that kind of time. I’ve dedicated literally half of my life (a decade) to honeybees. I’m too tired from trying to save our planet to start up petty arguments with people on the internet. Hiding behind a screen gets you nowhere. Actions do. All I have to say is, don’t listen to the 14 year olds out here trying to sound like #intellectuals™ when they have done maybe three or four quick google searches. As someone who is legitimately informed on the subject, I can verify that they sound like dumbasses.

Florida friends - if you have a laptop computer of any kind with a functional battery, even if it’s old, slow, the screen is busted, the wifi doesn’t work, a tribble shat in the keyboard, whatever - charge that fucker and keep it charged. If you lose power, the USB ports of a fully charged laptop can be your new BFFs and breathe life into a dying phone several times over. When Harvey hit here and we lost power, my dinky little Chromebook is what kept my phone alive through multiple recharges so I was able to communicate with friends and family, check weather conditions, activate the flashlight as needed, and so forth. At no point did I even turn the computer on - I just used it as a portable phone charger, and the thing saved my ass. 

Percy and Nico’s Canon Relationship

Alternatively, things that people forget ignore about Percy and Nico’s relationship and are also totally ignored in Heroes of Olympus.

This is all 100% in the canon and doesn’t have to be shippy unless you want it to be.

  • Percy spoke up about Nico when Bianca was deciding to join the Hunters, because he felt terrible that she was leaving her little brother behind
  • Percy took full responsibility for all of Nico’s (questionable) actions during Battle of the Labyrinth because he blamed himself for Bianca’s death 
  • Percy stepped up and claimed the Great Prophecy as his own at the end of Titan’s Curse so that Nico wouldn’t have to do it
  • Percy lied to Chiron (and everyone else) about Nico being a son of Hades so that Nico wouldn’t be in any more danger
  • Nico cursed Percy and ran off after Bianca’s death, and Percy responded by scouring the country for Nico
  • Annabeth and Grover are both uncomfortable with Percy searching for Nico and claiming the prophecy, probably because they don’t want Percy to be the prophecy kid because he’s their friend and they don’t want him to get his soul reaped, and Grover even protests that “this kid hates you and wants you dead” like, maybe you shouldn’t go looking for him? And Percy shoots that bullshit down so fast and immediately defends Nico and convinces them to keep searching for Nico throughout the next couple months
  • Percy offered for Nico to stay in his cabin at the end of Battle of the Labyrinth
  • Literally nearly all of Battle of the Labyrinth somehow involves Percy fussing over Nico’s safety
  • Percy is constantly thinking about Nico all throughout that book, and every time he hears of danger, his thoughts immediately turn to Nico
  • Percy finds a fast food wrapper in the Labyrinth leftover from Nico summoning the dead, and takes off running through the Labyrinth, which is insanely dangerous, with Annabeth, Grover and Tyson struggling to catch up to him, because he’s so desperate to find Nico
  • Percy begs Nico to leave Geryon’s ranch and come with them on the rest of the quest. Nico refuses, and Percy only accepts this because Eurytion promises that he’ll look after Nico
  • Bianca straight up tells Percy that the reason she felt like she could join the Hunters was because she knew Percy would take care of Nico
  • Bianca sends Percy Iris-messages about Nico’s whereabouts in the beginning of Battle of the Labyrinth because she trusts that Percy is going to track down Nico and talk some sense into him
  • Nico runs away from Geryon’s ranch and back into the Labyrinth because Minos convinces him that Percy is in danger and needs his help
  • Nico passes out after summoning skeletons to help fight the Battle of the Labyrinth, and Percy immediately rushes over to his side, kneels down next to him and tends to him until he’s confident that Nico is fine
  • When Nico shows up on Percy’s fire escape on his fifteenth birthday, Percy feels really sad for Nico and wonders if he’s ever had a birthday party before or ever been invited to a birthday party, and then invites him inside for cake and ice cream
  • Nico is the one who convinces Percy to take on the curse of Achilles, because he’s so worried about Percy’s safety in the upcoming Titan War
  • “I’m sorry if I’m being too pushy, but two years ago my sister gave her life to protect you. I want you to honor that. Do whatever it takes to stay alive and defeat Kronos” more like stay alive because I care about you and I want you to live
  • Nico panics when Percy climbs out of the River Styx because he thinks that he’s hurt, and right before Percy’s about to go in Nico gets really nervous and tries to talk him out of it, even though it was his idea in the first place
  • Nico breaks Percy’s trust by turning him over to Hades in Last Olympian, and spends the entire rest of the book trying to earn it back. And he really honestly was trying to help and didn’t want to betray Percy; Hades even tells Percy that, “I’m afraid Nico was quite sincere in wanting to help you. The boy is as honest as he is dense.” Hades definitely knows that Nico has a colossal crush on Percy and that’s what he meant by “dense,” I guarantee it
  • Percy and Nico obviously kept in touch between Battle of the Labyrinth and Last Olympian because Percy knows that Nico has been searching for a lead on his family and like this is an extremely personal subject that Nico doesn’t talk to anyone else about
  • Percy and Nico are friends?????? Like, actual friends who laugh and talk about real stuff?????? Like, Percy knows Nico well enough to tease him about stopping in to visit Juniper, and teases him about needing to take a nap after he shadow travels, and Nico has this sarcastic sense of humor that he quips back with? “With great power comes… great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.” Like this is witty and funny??? Nico doesn’t talk like that to anyone else
  • NICO DESIGNED HIS OWN CABIN. this isn’t really relevant to their relationship but it annoyed me that this was apparently forgotten.
  • Like even after they save Olympus and the battle ends and everything, even after Percy and Annabeth start dating, Percy still keeps an eye out for Nico. He takes note that he’s sitting at the base of Hades’ throne during the council after the war, because he cares about Nico. He also talks specifically about Nico’s cabin being built, because he’s been trying for years to get Nico to stay at camp.
  • Because Percy cares about Nico. Like, Percy is a complete mother hen about Nico and doesn’t ever pretend to be otherwise. Did I mention that he literally cannot stop talking about Nico’s safety for all of Battle of the Labyrinth, where, simultaneously, he was also worrying about Annabeth and Tyson and Grover and Camp Half-Blood, but still finds lots of time to worry about Nico, because Percy cares about Nico
  • Percy and Nico are friends. Like, they don’t have a “rocky relationship” anymore, like it says in Mark of Athena. They had some rough patches and they worked through them, and Percy was mildly miffed that Nico didn’t tell him who he was in Son of Neptune, but holy shit like Nico went missing and almost died and Percy thinks about this, like, maybe twice, which is totally out of character for him
  • So you’ll have to excuse me if I really don’t accept that Percy was sort of indifferent to Nico going missing and getting trapped in a jar guarded by two giants, because if Percy was actually in character, he would have spent half of Mark of Athena obsessing over Nico just like Hazel
  • I’m eternally annoyed that Percy didn’t say anything to stick up for Nico when Jason and Leo were like, “Hey maybe we shouldn’t go searching for him because he might be a traitor” because, like, Percy always sticks up for Nico and it’s really not like him to just shrug his shoulders and not care that Nico is in danger
  • And I absolutely will not take the excuse that Percy was too preoccupied with other things to obsess about Nico because Percy is always preoccupied with other things and still finds time to obsess about Nico
  • And you’ll really fucking have to excuse me if I don’t accept “Not my type” as a way to close out their relationship because THAT IS MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT, THEY’RE FRIENDS, AND THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS A LOT MORE COMPLEX THAN THAT STUPID ONE-LINER MADE IT SEEM

i love this owl man and no one can change my mind


So I wanted to share my latest morning ritual because it has helped A LOT. I have very painful cycles where I cramp the ENTIRE cycle and my cycle lasts 7-8 days. Yup, 7-8. Anyways, my pain is so bad that I’ve gone to the hospital several times, and I would stay home from school (as a teen) or classes (in college) because I just couldn’t function. As an adult, it’s a little bit trickier to miss work, so I’ve been tinkering with remedies and of course, raspberry tea has saved my life in the pain department.

Anyways, I started back with drinking green smoothies for breakfast in place of having coffee and a breakfast sandwich, and I’ve really seen a difference. The biggest change for pain relief though, has come from me substituting brewed raspberry tea in place of my spring water when I make my smoothies. Raspberries and cherries really help alleviate cramps, at least mine, anyways, so I thought, why not combine my tea with my smoothie?

Here’s the recipe:

Add a handful of spinach + brewed, cooled raspberry tea.

I use the Alvita raspberry leaf tea brand. Their teas are all organic and taste good.

Blend that together first. Blending the greens first helps to make your green smoothies actually smooth so you’re not finding chunks of spinach or kale, etc. when you’re drinking.

Next, add any supplement–I switch between organic flax seed powder and organic hemp powder (hemp helps with your cycle too, btw). Sometimes I throw chia seeds in at the end. For this particular recipe, I used flax.

Then add your fruit and sweetener. I started using agave nectar this week and it tastes good. Not overpowering, but sweet. And it doesn’t give me that sugar high/crash like white sugar tends to do. I actually tried agave nectar before and thought it was disgusting so I think it’s the particular brand I’m using now that I like (Madhava organic light blue agave).

The fruit I used was all frozen: cherries, dark cherries, blueberries, and strawberries.

Note: the raspberry tea tends to make the mixture more of a “juice” consistency, so add ice if you want it to actually be a smoothie. I added like 5-6 ice cubes.

Trust me when I say this helps. My pain level has been between a 3-5 this week. Typically, I’m at an 8 or 9. And again, I typically feel that intense type of pain for the entire 7-8 days I have my cycle, so having any type of relief is so astonishingly awesome! The pain isn’t completely gone, but it’s significantly less and for that, I’m thankful.

anonymous asked:

what are some coping/trauma related songs you would recommend?

hi friend! I’ve gotten a couple of asks about music, so I’m gonna answer them all here. everyone copes differently and everyone has different tastes, but here’s a few recs I have based on what has helped me. (I’m favoring folk/indie here though my tastes are usually more varied, because these are related to trauma/coping more explicitly)

“download immediately I’m begging you” tier:

  • The Sunset Tree - The Mountain Goats (if you already know this album, then it sounds like a given. it’s a staple for me. in fact I’m linking the single track, This Year, which got me through several years of my life. this album is explicitly about surviving abuse) 
  • linked here is A Better Son/Daughter, of off The Execution of All Things by Rilo Kiley (this one’s so good that i’m actually recommending a single track, which I never do because I prefer always to recommend albums. you might cry like a lot. I definitely did the first dozen times I heard this. also the rest of the album’s great too! more about relationships tho.)

if you only read this far, please listen to those two tracks! ^^^ <3 

“saved my life” tier:

  • Transcendental Youth also by The Mountain Goats, would be my very next rec, if you want to feel like your life and your suffering are real and valid. (give the track Spent Gladiator II a listen!)
  • Lanterns - Son Lux (not about trauma, still helped me hang on by a thread when it was Bad. shameless plug, it’s patently my all-time favorite album)
  • Feel Good Ghosts - Cloud Cult (this is a Happier album that is literally about Surviving when you think you can’t anymore, it’s a little psychedelic and weird tho)
  • look friends, there is nothing wrong with a little Black Parade or Simple Plan for when it Hurts (Gerard Way and that cohort did it right all right?) This was middle school for me but this genre saved my life when I was that age

“gets me through it” tier: 

  • Neon bible - Arcade Fire (track “my body is a cage” is always stuck in my head and encapsulates That feeling perfectly)
  • Good News for People Who Like Bad News - Modest Mouse (feeling bitter? this is for you!)
  • anything by Sufjan Stevens (the album Carrie & Lowell might be the most relatable, but I also love Age of Adz, All Delighted People, and Illinois. this melancholy folk singer-songwriter is my favorite artist ever maybe)

ANYWAY! that’s everything I can think of for now. thanks for reading this far, and if anyone wants like, a playlist instead of albums, let me know! that would be more varied in genre/style. or, send a genre and I can find stuff within that. 

hope you’re having a great day!

“andrew doesn’t give a shit-”

boi let me stop you right there !!

  • at first andrew doesn’t want to keep in touch with aaron but then he eventually tries to make it work, he promises aaron that he will keep him safe and he’s so intent on keeping this promise that he kills their mother because she was a threat. she would never stop hurting aaron and one day she would cross the line. andrew did the simple math and decided it’s his mother or aaron, he chose his brother.
  • when those homophobes in front of the club attacked nicky, andrew beat them up and he almost killed them. he wouldn’t do that for everyone but he did for nicky, because he cares.
  • then he takes in another stray cat, aka kevin day, and decides that yes, kevin is an insufferable asshole with his obsession over exy and making andrew better, but he will still protect him from riko and the ravens for as long as he lives. he promised he will keep kevin safe
  • (also maybe he liked the way kevin said andrew is actually worth something because no one ever said something like that to him, and maybe andrew started to care a little bit about himself too)
  • then you have the thing with matt and columbia. maybe it wasn’t the greatest idea ever but andrew actually wanted to help. not only matt but also aaron. he believed in matt that he will overcome his addiction for the second time (and he was right), he didn’t want his brother to feel uncomfortable and maybe go back to hard drugs because he gives a shit about stuff like that
  • after drake the only thing andrew cared about was if aaron is okay. andrew was the assaulted one but he still cared more about his brother than himself
  • (and from now on i’ll probably only talk about neil because c’mon)
  • first of all: andrew actually picks neil’s clothes when they go out, like he takes time to buy him stuff, he knows what size to pick. woah.
  • he asks neil what would it take to make him stay at palmetto (!!)
  • he gives neil a key to the house in columbia, andrew was the first person that made neil feel welcome, at home.
  • he duplicates keys to his car so that neil can drive it whenever he wants to, i mean ???
  • he chooses neil over his brother
  • he chooses neil over kevin
  • (andrew would literally choke kevin when he found out that kevin knew about nathaniel from the beginning even tho andrew was supposed to keep kevin safe)
  • (also when kevin is like “if you hit me again” @ neil, andrew is just like “you’ll what?”)
  • andrew secures neil’s bandages to make sure they won’t get wet
  • and then he giVES NEIL A BATH and towel dries him after ??? are we talking about andrew “i hate everyone” minyard ??? YES WE ARE
  • also he helps neil out of his shirt when he sees neil is too sore to do it alone
  • andrew hates sleeping somewhere when he can’t be close to the wall, he definitely hates sleeping with other people but he curls up next to neil on the floor with the rest of the foxes just so he could be close to neil
  • after neil is abducted, andrew checks every possible hospital several times. he literally burns down the world to find neil
  • “stay”

there’s probably so much more but i think that’s enough to show you how much andrew minyard actually cared. he’d never broken a promise and just because he isn’t your typical sappy boy you’re used to doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. andrew cared probably more than anyone in this series (save for matt because lets be honest here) and i won’t stand here for this bullshit, neither will andrew.

PSA: Mass Effect & PTSD

Hey guys!

I’m here today to talk about one of my favorite things….and one of my least favorite things. Both have a pretty big effect (heh) on my life. 

Mass Effect is probably my top video game of all time. FemShep is one of my top characters in any medium. You know why? She suffers from the same mental illness I do and she STILL saves the galaxy. She doesn’t give up. It’s really inspiring. I’m proud of Bioware for showing the human side of her, especially in ME3. We get to see her crumble a little, and we get to see her deal with her symptoms in ways I imagine a lot of soldiers do. (My PTSD isn’t combat related, but I do have several close friends and family members with combat, and non-combat PTSD.)

It’s also super awesome that you guys are writing about PTSD in your fanfics! I love that fans are willing to explore that part of Shepard’s story. With everything Shepard has been through (regardless of their origin story), it makes sense that it would have an effect on them, no?

But I also think we can do better. Here’s some things to keep in mind: 

1) PTSD is more than just nightmares. This trope is understandable, as this is the symptom Mass Effect features throughout the third game. Don’t get me wrong– a lot of people with PTSD suffer from nightmares, but there are more symptoms than just that. Nightmares are actually kind of rare for me. Other symptoms include, but are not limited to: shaking, muscle tension, trouble communicating (unable to form complete words, phrases, or sentences), flashbacks of the event, avoidance behaviors (isolating yourself or avoiding certain people or places connected to the event, or having trouble forming relationships in general), nausea, loss of appetite, dry-heaving, and hyperventilating (feeling like you can’t breathe.) The last one especially would be difficult for Shepard, as you know…they died by suffocating in space. 

2) Post Traumatic nightmares vary person to person. When I do have them, they aren’t always directly connected to the traumatic event. Maybe it’s just the way my brain works. My dreams tend to take on more symbolic forms based on my underlying feelings surrounding my mental illness. (This week they have all had themes around my inability to communicate or feeling trapped in my situation.) The way I tell the difference between a regular nightmare and a post traumatic one is how I feel afterwards. Post traumatic nightmares leave me feeling wide awake and unable to fall back asleep. They’re harder to wake up from (I lucid dream a lot.)

3) Post Traumatic episodes are EXHAUSTING. This is probably the most misunderstood thing in Mass Effect fanfiction. I see it a lot. You know, Shep has a fucked up day, they lose a dear friend and/or nearly dies, and/or something they experience brings up trauma from their past. Their love interest finds them and they bang. Everything is a–okay. WHAT!? During a post traumatic episode, your body is on high alert. You’re experiencing the purest forms of fight or flight. Your heart is racing. Your adrenaline is up. All your muscles are tensed up and ready to run away or fight for your life. You have tunnel vision. Keep in mind this can happen at any point after the event, and often in contexts that are only mildly stressful to the every day person. Your mind/body isn’t concerned with what happens afterward, only that you survive what it thinks is danger. You probably aren’t going to be up for sexy times afterward. You will probably only want to sleep, but that might not happen because your fear of post traumatic nightmares, or your mind is still keyed up even though your body is exhausted. Also, all that emotional energy is going to be used up. You might feel numb or depressed. You might have thoughts of killing yourself, or fearing for your future. Now, I’m not saying Shep won’t try for sexy times after an episode, but it’s going to look different than normal sex. Maybe they’re using it to distract their partner from their pain. Maybe they use it to ground themselves in their current reality. Timing matters. Is it in the middle of an episode? Is it after? Does Shep mind being touched when they’re experiencing symptoms? These are all things to keep in mind. 

4) Coping mechanisms differ person to person. Some people drink. Others have sex. Some push themselves into their work. Others make art. Some get counseling/therapy. Some exercise. Others take prescription medication. How your Shepard copes and to what degree really depends on how well educated they are about their condition and the emotional support system they have. How well they cope probably changes for better or for worse depending on what point they are in their story. 

Hope you find this helpful. Feel free to reply with questions. (I’m not a mental health professional, but I can speak to my own experiences and that of my loved ones.)

Captain Black

Request: “Can you do a Pirate AU with Sirius Black where you’re on a ship and it sinks and he saves you?? Or something else if that idea was horrid.”

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: violence n stuff


Originally posted by pioggiadiricordi

Life on the open waters was rough. Literally and emotionally. Being an explorer of the new world required many months at sea, and currently you were sailing along the Western coast of Africa; prime pirate territory. You had warned the captain of your ship that these waters were too treacherous, that cargo ships taking the shortcut back to England were excellent targets for those vile creatures called pirates. But he had waved you off, muttering something about how you were lucky to be on board because you’re a “disrespectful woman who had no business being on his ship”.

So you had bunkered down, a permanent scowl on your face as the other shipmates gave you hungry looks. At least if you survived taking this shorter route you would be home sooner, meaning no more sleeping while clutching a knife under you pillow. You had no other choice but to accept your companions, since no other ships would accept a female adventurer. You wished that the Kraken would come up and swallow them all whole.

Keep reading

A Tiny Little Hope: Is Erwin Smith Alive?

Warning: This meta was written by a romantic girl who always holds on to tiny little hopes to stay alive. So the following content may contain over-optimistic elements that not suitable for some readers.


Do you know what grief is? I experienced this feeling when Erwin died and I couldn’t cope with his death for a while. I was totally in denial. But denial only made things worse. Then I told myself that I need to accept the fact that Erwin is dead. But an optimistic part of me (who is always a six-year-old Pollyanna) kept asking questions. Why did Isayama not give us a funeral instead of a silly medal ceremony? We didn’t see Erwin buried, did we? Remember the old theories, the resemblence between Zeke and Papa Smith… Can Erwin be Dina Fritz’s relative? Can his dead body transform into a titan if he has royal blood?

I listened the questions carefully and I kicked Pollyanna’s ass. Because I didn’t want to hope, I didn’t want to suffer anymore. But I’ve seen some theories lately and I slowly started to believe that Erwin is alive. Now let me explain this progress.

  • It all began when @seby64 pointed out that giant crawling titan. 

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. “Erwin must have been the most handsome titan of all time.” But look at his light hair and this familiar haircut. Besides, we can’t see his face and I believe Isayama did this on purpose. The titan is desperately crawling towards walls. Because he is weak. Maybe he was dead and resurrected.  

It must have taken a very long time.” Connie said. 1 year is a very long time, isn’t it?

Shortly, I think that crawling titan may be Erwin. I want it to be. And that was the first part of my theory. Let’s continue.

  • Now I should talk about the Honorary President of Erwin Smith Defense Squad: Flocke. We always saw him by Erwin’s side, looking at him, talking to him or defending him… I think, he was created to keep Erwin mentioned and remind his death. Or, to make Eren say “Shut up!” like a spoiled child…

God, Eren, you wanted a man dead! The man who gave you a chance to live and fight. The man who saved your life several times. The man who lost his arm for you. He died. And he didn’t deserve such hatred. Then why did he behave rudely to Flocke? “Because he is an asshole?” Probably. But is he that asshole? I don’t think so. He is the main character after all. 

Or does he know something? Did he do something to repay his debt? 

  • Lastly, let’s take a look at this panel.

“Sub-product of the titan science…”

What is that mean? The purpose of Ackermans’ existence is to protect titan shifters? I don’t know. But I know that Eren is Mikasa’s liege and Uri is Kenny’s. According to Isayama, the liege of Levi is Erwin. Eren and Uri are both titan shifters. But Erwin isn’t. Or is he?

Anyway, I warned you guys, I’m a romantic person and I’m madly in love with Erwin Smith. I don’t know whether my theory is right or wrong. Nevertheless, deep in my heart, I believe that he is alive. And if he can somehow come back, I feel that he won’t be the same man again. 

But no matter what, I know that I will always be on his side.

anonymous asked:

do u know any good supercorp fan fics

do i ever (these aren’t in any particular order, but they are all complete. i’ve got a whole separate rec list for wip fics if you want it)

  • Oblivious: kara danvers getting jealous of herself for getting to make out with lena is so relatable (lena dates supergirl to make kara jealous)
  • heroism is a full time job: who doesnt want to live with lena honestly??? (protective custody au)
  • the way we mend: domestic! incredible! im gonna cry! (fluff! fluff! fluff!)
  • exception: do u need some musings about love in your life? well ive got just the fic for u! (romance! romance! fluff!)
  • i’ll be there for you (in your darkest nights): fix-it fics have fixed my soul (fix-it fic)
  • I Always Want You: this made me ascend into another plane where everything is okay and life is Good and Nice and Gay (harry potter au)
  • inevitable: i cant believe kara just failed at inventing lying. i cant believe im kara (supergirl reveal fic)
  • when all is shaken: im the one shaken after this fic wow (hurt/comfort)
  • Something to Write About: this is most definitely something to write about (kinda social media au?)
  • Sunlit Honey and Lavender Sunsets: catch me screaming about this fic forever! oh my god! i love jess! i love this fic! aaah! (jess-centric fic!!!)
  • (Super)Man’s Best Friend: im the dog that kara just straight up randomly gives lena (dog fic!!)
  • such unruly heads and hearts: so um i lied this is the one wip on this list because honestly it Changed Me and literally invented the concept of love (harry potter au)
  • negotiations and commands: ever imagined what life would be like if we had gotten krypto in that pod? now u dont have to just imagine it (dog fic!!)
  • Her Brother’s Keeper: i literally cried more than five times while reading this. holy shit. im thinking about it and crying again (angst and fluff and Wow)
  • Did we do that?: theyre so cute! i cant handle it!! theyre s o c u t e!!!! (domestic)
  • no more ferris wheels: i hate ferris wheels too but i love this fic!! (strangers go to a carnival au)
  • Drunk Puppy: i also talk about lena’s eyes when im drunk so this fic really speaks to me (kara appears at lena’s office drunk)
  • For as Long as You’ll Let Me: i cant believe kara just invented support and comfort (hurt/comfort)
  • somewhere i have never travelled: this fic travelled straight into my heart and saved my life from canon supergirl (character study/au)
  • Don’t Let Her Go: protective cat grant? And supercorp? u better believe it!!! (love and cat grant that’s all i need to say)
  • Puppy Love: this fic? cured my depression, made me love dogs even more than i already do, watered my crops,, (dog fic!!!)
  • sun is gonna shine above: ive said this multiple times now but this fic also made me cry several times. and yes i cry a lot but seriously!! this fic!! is so good!! (supercorp with kids au!!)
  • Almost.: fun fact! lena luthor is a nerd who thinks about kissing kara 24/7 i cant believe this is canon (romance romance romance)
  • The Enchanted Florist: its so gay and so touching and i cried reading this one too (lena goes to a flower shop)
  • pain: look i know im ending a fic rec list with a fic named pain but i swear itll only pain u with how good it is (soulmate au)
Face the Music - Part 5

Part 5 !!!

When you get to Gotham a week after leaving, you’re not sure what you expect to see. Conner, with several bags at his feet, along with the rest of your family, is not it.

“Well, it looks like you’ve rolled out the red carpet for me this time”

Kon steps forward, drawing you into a hug, “I made my decision, I want to go with you. I talked to Clark, and he agreed that it was time for me to branch off on my own. I want to learn more about your life at the League, I want to continue protecting people”

“And you will. We won’t stop you from saving people, as long as you don’t stop us from doing what we believe is right. You won’t be privy to all of the information that I will, but as an alliance of the League you will be expected to protect our interests”

There’s a glint in Kon’s eyes, “As long as I get you, I’ll follow the rules”

You lean forward, pressing a fleeting kiss to Conner’s lips, before turning to face your father and brothers. “I didn’t expect to see any of you here”

“We …” Jason’s eyes flick to the others before locking on you, “… I wanted to apologize for not being there for you. I knew that you were alone, but I still went away a lot. I wasn’t around, and I’m not going to make excuses for that. I’d like to talk to you, Skype if we can, or call, or even just write letters, something to keep us in contact. I know that I was a terrible brother, but I’d like to make up for that”

“I’ve waited for years to hear one of you say that” For the first time since you joined the League, you actually feel shy, “You don’t know how many times I wished that one of you, any of you, would notice me. I’d like to get to know you, really know you, like a family should.”

You reach out, drawing Jason into a hug, “I’ll miss you, Y/N”

“Promise me something?”


“Promise me that you really meant that” You want to trust Jason, you want to trust that at least one of your brothers is willing to make up for his mistakes, “I want to believe you, Jaybird, I really do, but I need your word. I need to know that it won’t be like before”

“It won’t, kid. It won’t”

“Alright” You turn toward Dick, “I guess this is goodbye, Dickie”

Your oldest brother smiles, “Do you … can I be there when you Skype with Jason? Please? I know that I was never around a lot, and you got hurt because of it. I did the same thing with Jason, and when he died I promised to never do that again, but I failed you, little sister. I left you alone, and I’m so sorry”

“Honestly, I don’t think I’ve talked to you more than 4 times since I’ve lived here. I – I think I’d be nice to get to know you”

Next is Tim, he’s willing to send emails, and texts back and forth. Maybe meet up for coffee if you ever come back to Gotham. You can tell that, while he’s willing to get to know you, he’s very busy, and won’t be able to commit a lot of time to keeping to touch.

Damian and Bruce decide to take you aside, out of hearing range of the other three humans, and you know that Kon will try not to listen. “Are you willing to stay in contact with Damian and I?”

“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have agreed to talk to you”

Bruce’s shoulders relax slightly, “I would like to try and make up for what I have done wrong. I - I was too involved with the training of your brother, and you never got in trouble. I didn’t think you needed my attention. I realize my mistakes now, I want to be your father, Y/N”

“Bruce, it’s a little late for you to be my father. I’d like to get to know you as an ally, possibly a friend, but you’re far too late to try and be my father. As far as I’m concerned, Talia is the only parent I’ve ever had. I’ll always consider you my father, and if we ever get a better relationship, I might call you father, but you didn’t raise me like you did Damian. You were nothing but a sperm donor, and I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings, but …”

Bruce nods, his blue eyes filled with regret, “I understand. I know that there’s nothing I can do to change the past, and that you aren’t the 10-year-old that first arrived on my door step. I’d like to get to know the woman you’ve become”

“I’d like that too, Bruce” You pause, glancing at your twin, “Damian …”

“I have thought about what Mother said before you left. I have been a terrible brother. I have ignored you, I have belittled you, and I would like to make up for my mistakes. You are a strong woman, I would be honored to be your ally, and someday be considered your brother”

“That … that sounds really good, Dami. Would you like visit the League someday? See the changes Mother and I are starting? Everything is very different from when Grandfather was alive.”

“I would enjoy that” Damian hold out a hand, which you willingly take, “Until we meet again”

“Until then … brother”

You and Conner settle down on the boat, heading toward the island, where you’ll board a jet that will take you the rest of the way to the League.

“Do you think they’ll keep their promises?”

“I hope so. If they don’t then I won’t be trying again. It will just be me, you, and the League”

Conner wraps an arm around your shoulders, “You’ll always have me, Y/N. That’s not something you’ll have to worry about”

Curling into the Supers side, you flash a brief smile, “You don’t know how relieved I was when I saw you at the docks. I was terrified that you wouldn’t be there, that you wouldn’t want to leave with me”

“I’ll always choose you, Y/N. Always”

The two of you settle into silence, just enjoying each other’s company. There is a lot to catch up on, but for now, not words are needed, for now just the possibility of a future together is enough.

So this was probably the last part! If you guys think I should add anything to the series let me know, and I’ll see what I can do!!


My patient is medflighted and arrives on my unit intubated on 2 pressors. BP 62/45, nodding head appropriately and following commands. 2 more pressors added. Physician states this patient won’t make it two more hours. 30 years old, 6 kids, attempted suicide. I look at physician and say" this patient is not dying on my shift. We are going to do all of the things.“ After 8 hours, 10 liters of fluid, albumin, electrolyte replacement, bicarbonate infusion. A very tired me gives report that the patient’s systolic BP is finally above 90. The patient is able to follow commands the whole night. During the day pressors are weaned off and patient is extubated. Life saved. 3 nights later, 89 year old patient down time of 90 minutes between several episodes of v fib arrest. Intubated, On 2 pressors, completely unresponsive with no sedation. Physician states, we are doing all the things! Me looks at family, what are this patients goals at the end of life. Family talks, we withdrawal care administering morphine and lorazepam for comfort of patient and family. Patient passes peacefully surrounded by family. A very tired me gives report in the morning. Life not saved. My husband thinks I’m crazy because sometimes I get mad when the physician wants to do all the things and sometimes I get mad when they don’t want to do all the things. I find that advocating for the patient in either capacity is exhausting.


Tertiary functions tend to be (or be painted as) quite immature or vulnerable and come out childishly or childlike, whether to throw a fit or to find comfort, but they can also bring a much-needed force or shelter. And when not indulged too terribly but often consulted and refined, they can be quite polished and sophisticated in their realms. So I also want to give them credit because, honestly, it can be tough work to get them into the equation and, consequently, take much more into account with them to be constructive.

So here’s what I appreciate about all the tertiary functions when they are acting in healthy integration and moderation.

Tertiary Se in ENJs
You make it happen. Dreams won’t only be dreams. You may be too pushy at times, but often, it’s worth it afterward because you made it an experience we would have otherwise missed out on from having. You know that when you really want something, you go and get it - and you don’t let others to easily give up on what matters, either. May you have some mercy on what stands in your way and work with it or around it if that’s for the better!

Tertiary Si in INPs
You have the sort of enchanting sentimentalism for details that’s often in sappy romance. What you love or interests you, you get to know thoroughly and you cherish what you’ve learned about it. And while your memory for day-to-day matters may fail you, you are able to recall specifics that most miss or deem irrelevant - which goes to prove that at least someone was paying attention to them and considered them significant. You can make a mess look perfectly put together and beautiful. And you hold on to those you care for, which, if you’re able to let go when it’s due time, can help save worthwhile relationships from easily being given up on.

Tertiary Ne in ESJs
Your managing and multitasking skills are impressive. You prepare for contingencies and handle the unexpected like the adult we all need. You keep things in check but are also flexible and open to readjustments. You are slow paced in trying out several different things and that can make the process of discovery much more enjoyable. I wish I was more like you so that I can have my life together and make steady progress!

Tertiary Ni in ISPs
You may seem impulsive and reckless, but there’s an order to your chaos. Your measured spontaneity can beat being calculated as it takes you into, through and out of your works and experiences slickly or with grace. You may be outside the norm as you detach to go further and delve to go beyond what’s apparent. There’s a sort of mystery to you that is subtle and intriguing, making others wonder more about how you see things as you move through life.

Tertiary Te in EFPs
For better or for worse, you can be unstoppable. And when it’s for the better, I’m thankful afterward even when it was nearly unbearable in the process. When you’re not insisting too badly on what you believe is best, you can be that extra push we need to get us to try and give things a chance. You get to it and do what has to be done, finding your way around and across it whether you have the most appropriate approach or not. You’re not terribly fond of preestablished methods (especially when they are too strict) and at times shake things up a bit for everyone’s benefit.

Tertiary Ti in IFJs
You put it concisely. Huge amounts of information come together in neat, logically consistent statements. You may even sound quite cryptic because of it and have the rest of us wondering more about where you gathered the wisdom from. You search for underlying laws and rules governing phenomena and see how they operate in various different contexts. You can make the complex sound simple when you put it elegantly and make it easier for us to understand. You can also come up with unlikely answers that, if nothing else, are mind-stretching or amusing to ponder.

Tertiary Fe in ETPs
Your excitement and enthusiasm can be greatly uplifting and contagious - and might fill us with the confidence we need to face a crowd. You have little trouble with making a fool of yourself to lighten the mood of others and can even pull that off with charisma. You can make uncool look cool. Or just be cool. When not too argumentative, you are able to engage others in discussions they’d usually shy away from and make it rewarding. Sometimes your offensive humor is exactly what we need. Sometimes.

Tertiary Fi in ITJs
Maybe you’d rather not care, but you do - at times terribly and inevitably so. You may be awkward at (or feel awkward) expressing your feelings and sentiments, but you have plenty of emotional intelligence that allows you to tell when there’s something else or off going on beneath the surface. You can be stubborn with what’s important to you and, while you may be wrong at times, you may be right about it being something worth protecting and fighting for. In such cases, it can take A LOT to convince you of otherwise. This makes you less likely to be swayed by unfounded opinions and more loyal to what you believe in.


Imagine: Seeing Gendry after your father, Ser Davos, helped him escape Dragonstone.

Originally posted by thesafesthands

You thought you’d never gaze upon Dragonstone again. This place haunted you. There were bad memories here. In a flash, you remember witnessing the Red Woman burning men alive as a sacrifice to this Lord of Light or whatever bullshit she called this God.

Your alliance had changed but perhaps for the better. Your father, Ser Davos, was walking with Jon Snow. You lingered behind. They were talking about their latest plan—Ser Davos would sneak Lord Tyrion Lannister into King’s Landing. Lord Tyrion would then try to speak with his older brother—the Kingslayer Jaime Lannister.

They would leave this evening. You often found humor in certain situations. Once upon a time your father was trying to take King’s Landing and fighting against Lord Tyrion who used wild-fire. The same fire that killed your older brother but you held no grudge towards Tyrion because it hadn’t been his idea—it had been that whore Cersei’s fault.

You looked into the sky and saw the Queen’s dragons flying about. Dangerous as they might be, you thought they were very beautiful. You admired Rhaegal the most because of his green scales with bronze markings. Drogon was far too dark and aggressive for her liking. Viserion had a milder temper but it was Rhaegal who seemed the calmest of the trio.

You were glad to be here at Dragonstone for simpler matters—no men were burning here. There was no stench of burning flesh lingering. It was only the smell of salty water and wet sand that greeted you.

“Y/N?” Jon called your attention.

Your eyes left the shores of the beach and towards your King. His dark, brooding eyes were heavy with concern and anxiety. You felt for your King because of the weight on his shoulders…with the Wight Walkers closing in from the North and Cersei Lannister to the South…and here he was mining the only positive way to kill a Wight.

Your father had wandered off into the Dragon-glass cave.

You walked up to Jon with curiosity, “Yes, milord?”

Jon gave you a firm stare, “How many times must I tell you not to call me that? I get that enough from your father.” He is sulking like some child which amuses you.

You smile slightly, “Sorry, Jon.” You correct yourself.

Jon gives a shake of his head and sighs, “What do you think of this mess?” He asks you.

You stay silent as you watch your King. He is gazing out into the waters as if they had the answers he sought. “It’s shit,” You murmured quietly as you take your place beside him, “A lot of us have lost our families but we continue to fight because we must. I want to settle down and have kids, Jon, and in order to do that I must do what I can to bring peace into this world.” You tell him truthfully.

He in turn stares at you with sincerity. Jon liked you and sought out your friendship often because you weren’t afraid to speak your mind. You were truthful without fear and acted like a Lady despite your upbringing in Flea Bottom.

“And what if I fail to bring that peace?” Jon questions eager to hear your answer. 

You stare at him, “I don’t believe you will, Jon.” You answer without a second thought.

Jon is surprised to hear the confidence in your voice, “And why is that?”

You chuckled quietly and watch the sea-birds fly above your head, “Because no King has fought as hard as you to bring peace into this Kingdom—not your father, not Aegon, not even Robert Baratheon.”

Jon was left speechless.


It hadn’t been two days when your father returned. You were in the caves with Jon mining Dragon-glass. You were a woman but you could get your hands dirty if need be. It certainly caught the attention of the Dothraki. “Here, drink some water.” Jon came up to you and handed you a jug of water. 

“Thank you.” You said with a small smile before drinking.

“You work too hard and you might pass out, Y/N,” Jon frowned at you, you had been working in the caves since your father left, “Why don’t you go on and take a few hours to rest and freshen up?” He suggests as he takes the water jug from you and sets it down.

His eyes are staring at you intently. You find yourself smiling at him because he is reminding you so much of your older brother. Jon is taken back by the sadness he sees in your pretty eyes. Matthos…you missed him so much that at times it was almost unbearable.  

“Y/N?” Jon reached out to touch your shoulder.

You shook your head and chuckled thickly, “Forgive me, it’s just that you remind me so much of my brother.” You tell him and wipe at your teary eyes.

Jon gives a sad smile but before he could say anything, the sound of your father’s voice caught your attention. “Father!” You smiled relieved that he was back and not harmed. You embraced him tightly and he was happy to embrace you back. “You sure took your sweet time.” You complained with a frown.

“Ser Davos, your daughter was getting worried.” Jon greeted with a pleased smile.

“When isn’t she worried?” Your father chuckles before slightly turning to someone who had been behind him, “This is Clovis—“

“Name’s Gendry, Your Grace.” The man walked up boldly to your King.

It took you a spilt second to realize who this was because his name did not fit the face you once saw many years ago. This Gendry was tall, lean, and confident. The last time you had seen this man was after what the Red Woman had done to him and had left him to die…but you were there and managed to clean him up and convince your father to help him escape death.

You hadn’t been sure where your father had sent this young lad but you were happy that he was still alive. “I’m Robert Baratheon’s son—bastard son.” Gendry hadn’t noticed you yet he was too busy staring at Jon with hope and determination.

Your father had this annoyed expression on his face. You giggled and he shot you a small glare. Jon looked at your father for confirmation and even looked a bit stunned to hear such news. Your father looked at Jon and sighed, “He was meant to keep that to himself.” Your father grumbled shooting Gendry with a small glare.

Gendry was determined to tag along with Jon. Their fathers had once fought together in war similar to this one. It was instant friendship it would seem. Gendry and Jon seemed to like one another. You smiled fondly because for once Jon looked genuinely happy to meet someone like himself.

Your father would follow Jon and Gendry on this suicide mission. Jon had gone as far as personally asking the Queen to shelter you until they returned. You protested and urged Jon to let you come along but everyone voiced that where they were going…would be too dangerous for you.

The Queen had felt your pain before and spoke to you after the meeting. She did like you and you were grateful towards her. She understood you and that was all you needed to give her your trust.

But now Gendry would be going and all he could do was swing his stupid hammer.

Last you checked, he was getting foolishly seduced by the Red Woman and getting himself nearly killed. You scowled at him before turning to Jon hotly, “How come he gets to go but I can’t? I’ve had more bloody experience fighting then him.”

Your father sighs knowing this would happen.

Jon isn’t surprised.

But Gendry was. He turned and looked at you for the first time in a long way—way too long in his opinion. His eyes feasted on the beauty that often haunted his dreams and nightmares. The girl who saved him was now a young woman….a gorgeous woman at that. His eyes stared at your pretty eyes with shock.

“Y/N, don’t’ start.” Your father sighs.

“Oy, I’ve fought and I’ve killed more men then him. I should have the right to go.” You bellow out with a frown.

“Y/N, I can’t have you getting hurt. You mean a lot to a lot of people. I wouldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.” Jon told you sternly with brotherly protectiveness.

“Y/N…” Gendry said your name softly.

You met his beautiful blue eyes—they were such a lovely shade of blue. You feel your heart clench and your body tremble. He has grown…he was much different from the scared young lad you saw many years ago.

“You two know each other?” Jon asks not looking pleased by the look of shock and awe on Gendry’s face.

Ser Davos nods, “Yes, they do. Y/N convinced me to save his life.”

“I owe you my life,” Gendry told you quietly resisting the urge to stand close to you just to feel your presence once more, “Twice over.”

“Well, I do remember that I was the one who actually saved you.” Your father remarked with a frown.

“I was the one who cleaned him up and fed him food for several days before you threw him in a row-boat.” You told your father with a stern look, “The poor boy didn’t even know how to swim at the time, father.”

Your father looks away bashfully and mutters curses.

Gendry smiles, “You haven’t lost your touch I see.” He teases.

You feel your cheeks burn and smile, “But you have changed.” You tell him trying not to admire his full-grown beauty.

Jon is looking between the two of you with a frown. “Y/N, don’t you have some resting to do?” Jon is eager to get you away from Gendry. He didn’t like the looks he was giving you and the looks you were giving him.

It reminded him too much of how Sansa acted when that twat Joffrey came to Winterfell so long ago. He felt protective of you. He wasn’t entirely sure he trusted Gendry with you just yet.

You give Jon a glare, “Will you let me join you to Eastmarch?”

“No.” Jon answered in a heart-beat.

You growl under your breath, “This is because I’m a woman, isn’t it?”

Jon almost groaned, “No, it is because I care for your safety. Your father cares for your safety and I’ve only met this bloke for five minutes but I know he cares for your safety,” You blush furiously at Jon’s words and your father is frowning at them, “The point very well is that you are far too cared for to be thrown into danger like that. Your father already lost a child, he doesn’t need to lose another one.”

His words hit home with you.

You shut up and nod avoiding eye-contact with all three men. You turn to leave without another word. Jon sighs feeling angry that he has unsettled you. Ser Davos felt for his daughter but knew that this was the best option for her. He didn’t want to lose her either.

“You care for my daughter?” Davos asked Gendry who stared after you.

Gendry looked back at the Onion Knight with wide eyes, “What?”

Jon snorted, “Isn’t it obvious?”

Originally posted by thoranda

Originally posted by november-born-dayne

perhaps a part two?

or: how every main character is referenced in this painting, and what it means for the game.


Nadia - the cheetah

Green, gold, and purple. Nadia has purple hair- for the purple dress, and green and gold ornaments, referenced in the collar.

Julian - the wolf

Notice that the fold of the wolf’s collar matches Julian’s shirt. Also note the connotation between wolves and Siberia- Siberian wolves are the ancestors of many modern day breeds. Siberia also holds large quantities of swamps, the general real-world equivalent of Julian’s home country (aside from the Russian). He’s also standing right behind Portia, the dove.

Portia - the dove

A blue dress that can be seen to match the shade of her eyes. Clasped hands, as Portia is often shown to emote in dialogue with the MC. The dove a domesticated creature- this ‘homely’ feeling is referenced several times in the game, notably with Portia’s pet Pepi, a housecat. *i was writing ‘duck’ and thought something was off and still thought it was a duck and then my life was saved thank lucio

Death - the bizarre horse skull

Get it, the bizarre skull in the backroom. Note that this is the skull of a horse, indicated the black mane and the ears. It’s worth mentioning that if the ears are disregarded, a stag skull would look extremely similar- in the death tarot card, the figure of the skull has no ears at all, perhaps this is a disguise?

Lucio - the goat

Or, the most obvious reference to the real thing.

Muriel - the bull

Nose ring in reference to their collar. Potentially also reflected in the spikes of their collar on Muriel’s avatar (two spikes are visible on their collar, referenced with the two horns of the bull). Also the general reflection of Muriel’s stature to the stature of the bull. In concept sketches Muriel also has broken chains around their wrist- with a similarly shaped chain link to the nose ring.

Asra - the lion

A golden armband on the lion’s arm, matching Asra’s choker. This also raises interesting questions related to Asra’s route. There is a painting of Lucio obtainable in the prologue where he wears a badge over his chest of a lion’s head. Potentially this foreshadows Muriel’s question to Asra in book VI; ‘and when he rips your heart out?’.

Note that the only ‘character’ not to look into the camera or have any details shown in the drawn painting is the pig, which we can presume to mean the common man, or Lucio’s subjects. Even so this still leaves the eagle and the cow unaccounted for.

I believe the eagle is Valerius- who was intimate with Lucio and remembers the events of Lucio’s murder. The cow might be a representation of the main character, or else a character who has not yet come into play- I might be missing something big though, the cow has some obvious relation to Muriel, and has several piercings and necklaces, wearing a green dress.

More importantly I’m interesting in the positioning of the characters. I have 2 theories about this.

#1: everyone is on Lucio’s side of the table except for Asra and the skull. The spreading lines of light that radiate outwards from Lucio to other characters is his influence over them- he has some kind of control over them all except for Asra and the skull (perhaps because the skull is some form of death). Lucio has no control over Asra- Asra is implied to be the only character without memory loss, or perhaps the only character who is directly against Lucio.

I wondered on this point because if we’re getting more specific- the lines of light physically touch everyone except Asra, Nadia, ‘Valerius’ and the skull. The positioning still matters, but now lets look at where the lines stop.

Ergo theory #2.

The lines of light represent Lucio’s influence before his death. The light touches everyone who believes in him. The light doesn’t touch Valerius, who knows Lucio personally- potentially highlighting some more secrets about the courtier- secrets already implied in a branch of Nadia’s route, where the MC reads Valerius’ fate and reveals that he’s keeping… a ton of secrets. It doesn’t touch Asra, who detests Lucio. Nor Nadia, who knows her husband and from her vague recollections seems to think she wouldn’t have liked him. It doesn’t touch the ‘pig’, or the common people, because Lucio was selfish and had done enough to make many enemies everywhere, including amongst the people. And it doesn’t touch death, because death is coming for him.

That’s all for now, and I’ll be damned if this has already been done.