they pyramid scheme

Pyramid Scheme scammer ends up paying in the end!

(very long story)

About 6 or 7 years ago, I was trying to enlist into the military. I ended up not joining but that’s a story for another time. At this point, I was led to believe I was about 4 months away from leaving for Boot camp. I was running out of savings, and needing a part time job for some spending cash while I waited around.

So I did what any enterprising 20something would do, and searched craigslist for jobs. I normally hate sales jobs, especially those based on commissions, but figured it would be a great way to earn some extra cash short term. Found a few job listings that looked promising, and put out some applications. A few days later I received a call from David. He was opening up a new store and needed associates. He liked my resume and asked if I’d be available for an interview on Friday morning. I was very up front with him, and let him know that the distance was a bit more than I’d normally drive for a retail job, and asked what he was offering for an hourly rate, to see if it was worth the drive. He told me that they were planning on offering an hourly rate in the mid teens, along with commission. Seemed like an ok deal, so I agreed to be there Friday at 8am.

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ff-sunset-oasis  asked:

Heyyyy Andrea so I'm just wondering what are your thoughts on Blaise Zabini's mom? Like, I'm always love how you occasionally slipped her into your stories with Blaise, usually just some passing mention but the descriptions always got me very intrigued - so just want to ask what's your thoughts/views about her? Thanks <3

HA HA it’s not like I’ve been waiting my entire life for someone to ask me about blaise zabini’s mother or anything that would be dumb that would be i ns a ne im fine let’s do this:

  • for nineteen years, her name is elizabeth.
  • lizzie, her father calls her, with the same sort of simple, incredulous affection he directs at her mother—her mother, the witch, who brews potions that smell like anise and cinnamon, who wrinkles her nose at the rolling green hills of the english countryside, who wears a gleaming silver scorpion pendant around her neck and tells elizabeth bedtime stories about hot desert nights and crumbling pyramids and brilliant, scheming queens who spilled blood and conquered continents and stole thrones—and all with small, secret smiles on their faces.
  • elizabeth isn’t lizzie.
  • elizabeth goes to hogwarts; lizzie does not.
  • elizabeth is sorted into slytherin; lizzie is not.
  • elizabeth slinks through the halls, learns how to listen and how to lie and how to levitate a peacock feather; lizzie does not. elizabeth collects lipsticks she’s too young for, slick crimsons and glossy violets, highlights the arches of her cheekbones with burnished bronze powder and lines her eyes in liquid, velvety black; lizzie does not. elizabeth speaks and says nothing, lowers her gaze and sees everything, enchants as effortlessly as she entraps; lizzie does not.
  • instead, lizzie goes home for the summer, braids her hair into two neat plaits and picks wildflowers with her father, laughs pretty and easy and loud, loud like she can’t when she’s at school, because the dungeons have high ceilings and long memories and an alarming tendency to produce variables she knows she can’t control; not like elizabeth can.
  • elizabeth doesn’t make mistakes.  
  • lizzie does.
  • lizzie is eighteen and punching her time card at the ministry and dreaming about palm trees swaying in a heavy summer breeze, about pillows of sand slipping through her fingertips, about crystal blue skies and sheer linen dresses and skin tanned a dark, silky brown by the heat of the sun.  
  • and she meets a boy. a man. a visiting diplomat with a lilting accent and a fan of laugh lines around his eyes and a luxuriously appointed suite at the savoy that starts to feel like home—too much, too soon.  
  • “you’re beautiful,” he tells her, and it’s elizabeth whose mouth curves up slyly, invitingly, as she replies, “i know.”
  • “you’re perfect,” he tells her, and it’s lizzie whose heart races, whose breath skips, whose lips tremble as she replies, “i know.”
  • “i love you,” he tells her, and she doesn’t know where elizabeth stops and lizzie begins when she replies, “i love you, too.”
  • and he buys her extravagant gifts and he makes her extravagant promises and then he unceremoniously leaves; goes back to italy—to his wife, to his children, to his peach-pink villa on the mediterranean coast with the sweeping balconies and the sparkling turquoise swimming pool—the day before she realizes she’s pregnant.  
  • the ensuing rage—it’s quiet, really, a low, sad, gentle simmer deep in the pit of her stomach that could rock her to complacency if she let it.  
  • she doesn’t let it.
  • instead, she considers her options. she sends a letter. she opens her own gringott’s vault. she calmly answers, “morning sickness,” when her nosiest coworker asks why she’s been late all week. she sends another letter. she moves into a nicer flat, the kind with a doorman and a concierge and a lot of wealthy neighbors. she develops a strange craving for candied dates. she bides her time.
  • elizabeth calls it justice; lizzie calls it blackmail.
  • the day after she discovers she’s having a boy, she sends one last letter, dusts the slow-drying ink with a gold-tinged powder that smells like anise and cinnamon, and she thinks about hazy, blistering sunsets shimmering red and yellow and orange, about wide-open limestone palaces and gods that expect you to start wars for them and buttery leather sandals caked brown with old blood.  
  • elizabeth calls it justice; lizzie calls it revenge.
  • five months later, she’s gritting her teeth and squeezing the midwife’s hand and desperately wondering if the pain will ever end.  
  • it does.
  • and then she’s staring down at a baby—hers, hers—and he’s impossibly tiny and impossibly warm and impossibly helpless. his mouth relaxes into a pout, and his eyes slit open, glassy and unfocused and so dark they might as well be colorless.  
  • she names him blaise.
  • she names him blaise because blaise is a name that can’t be cut in half, and she watches him sleep while the midwife lectures her about feedings and nappies and the bare spot on her finger where a wedding ring should be. there’s a tightness in elizabeth’s chest, fierce and fearful, both, that does nothing but multiply the longer she looks at him, her son, and she understands—suddenly, and with a perfect stab of clarity—why her father had wanted her to be lizzie.
  • no one has ever hurt her twice.
  • no one will ever hurt him at all.
Enneagram Asshole Archetypes

@humanarchetypehouse - I’m reposting them, because they’re hard to access.

5-1-2 Combos: The Insufferable Know-It-All. They think they know everything there is to know about everything, and they cannot contain their urges to share their knowledge with absolutely everyone. They correct people over the tiniest mistakes with no concern for any self-consciousness this may cause and then act disingenuously confused when others get upset.

5-1-3 Combos: The Neurotic Over-Achiever. These are the students who cry over getting a B+ or not being the best at their extracurricular activity of choice. They tend not to do very well outside of school unless they get to become doctors. Even then, they usually end up overly competitive and have hollow social and family lives.

5-1-4 Combos: The Ivory-Tower Prophet. Think they have a perfect vision of what’s best for the world based on nothing but untested theory and fantastical introspection. Needs to actually get out and talk to people in order to actually refine their ideals, but they are often unwilling to because that might involve admitting they are wrong or dealing with people they consider less than them.

5-8-2 Combos: The Armchair Shrink. Read a Psych 101 textbook once and now thinks they are qualified to give drive-by diagnoses and overly impersonal life advice. Tends to be very overbearing about it and generally refuses to listen to further information from their “patients”, particularly if it goes against their assumptions.

5-8-3 Combos: The Cult Leader. Has some bizarre philosophy that they propagate using hollow social influence and brutal aggression. Speaks in pyramid-scheme language and literally never shuts up until you are brow-beaten into submission because your own mind intimidated itself trying to figure out what the hell they were trying to say.

5-8-4 Combos: The Self-Important Jerk. Like the Cult Leader, but lazier and with fewer social skills. Turns their nose up at any preferences or modes of living other than their own and resents anyone who doesn’t see eye to eye with them 100%. They’re very bossy, but their instructions are often terse and unclear, and to make matters worse, they just get mad at you when you tell them to explain because they’re over-sensitive about being misunderstood.

5-9-2 Combos: The Unsolicited Mediator. They hate conflict, but they can’t stand to stay out of it, either. If you’re having a dispute with somebody, expect them to show up spouting inappropriate objectivity and some sterile, by-the-book advice about using I-statements and whatnot. This is actually pretty effective in resolving the disputes, but not in the way they want it to - instead of being mad at the person you were initially disputing with, now you are both mad at The Unsolicited Mediator and must unite against the common enemy.

5-9-3 Combos: The Amoral Monster. Not much seems to bother them, which is nice at first until you realize their “tolerance” stems from the fact that they have no sensibilities to offend. They lack conviction and will use flimsy, pulled-out-of-ass logic to dodge responsibilities and defend their selfish decisions.

5-9-4 Combos: The Pretentious Hippie. The most reclusive of all the archetypes. You aren’t good enough to be their friend, so don’t even try. You’re not on their level and you harsh their vibes, man. They tend to be very unhappy unless they’re living in a sustainable homestead in the middle of nowhere. Bitches about how the Internet is destroying our minds but spends most of their time online anyway.

6-1-2 Combos: The Sanctimonious Sap-Addict. They talk as if they live in a Hallmark card, chain e-mail, or cheesy coming-of-age film. They probably feel really guilty about dumb things, and then you start wondering if you should, too. They tend to be religious and intolerant of those who don’t share their views or ways of life. Thankfully the ways they tend to show this intolerance are pretty harmless - panicking and crying. Nobody can stand to listen to them because, despite the motivational tone of their messages, they make everyone around them feel awful for not being as wholesome as they are.

6-1-3 Combos: The Thought Police. Similar to The Cipher (6-9-3 Combos), but more prone to forcing their boringness on others. While the Cipher avoids personality clashes by either blending in with or withdrawing from those with different priorities, those of the Thought Police archetype wage a crusade against them by asserting the moral superiority of their way of life. They have convinced themselves they are perfect so to avoid the emotional pain of having to re-evaluate their lives, but in order to maintain this illusion, they must live in an echo chamber. Don’t put them in the same room as the 6-1-2, it’s not a pretty sight.

6-1-4 Combos: The Ball of Self Hatred. Nobody wants to listen to these people, no matter how good their ideas might be, because they can’t even listen to themselves - even when they want to. They certainly have minds of their own, unfortunately, they don’t tend to use them unless it’s convenient (Spoiler Alert: it rarely is.) They ruin their own lives by repressing positive emotions, ruminating on wrongdoings (both theirs and those of others), and being unable to trust or feel good about anything unless it is completely beyond criticism.

6-8-2 Combos: The Overbearing Meddler. Anything they wouldn’t do is a bad idea that you need to be scared and bullied out of. This also goes for many things they WOULD do, because they are hypocrites. They say it’s for your own good, but they wouldn’t know the first thing about that if it bit them on the nose because they live with their heads in their asses. They tend to have plenty of their own issues, which they chronically avoid by micromanaging others. More projection than a cinema multiplex.

6-8-3 Combos: The Overworked Grouch. These are people who cannot wind down for the life of them. This tendency would generally not affect anyone other than themselves, but it does because they get mad at other people for relaxing. They see others’ satisfaction with less as an affront because it means that maybe all their overwork was for nothing, but instead of giving relaxation a chance, they choose to act like arrogant dicks in hopes that others will change to suit them instead.

6-8-4 Combos: The Extremist. Fiercely and belligerently loyal to a set of beliefs that no one else shares. Believes their pet issue (frequently something that directly affects them) to be the center of the universe and ridicules opposing viewpoints. They might be nice to you if you agree with everything they say, but even then, they probably won’t - you come second to the crusade.

6-9-2 Combos: The Martyr. No will or interests of their own. Gives their entire life up for the sake of an individual or a group - and it’s usually a dysfunctional one. They don’t even complain if they aren’t appreciated or thanked (they don’t expect it), but Heaven forbid there comes a time when they are no longer needed. They will plunge into depression and impotent rage as they search desperately for another object of their overly-submissive affections.

6-9-3 Combos: The Cipher. Your next-door neighbor who thinks the street you live on is the center of the universe. It’s not completely certain that people of this archetype actually have personalities or if their attitudes and behavior are just absorbed from their surroundings and upbringing. They may be rigidly set in their ways or they may be a perpetually-shifting chameleon (depending on the order of the numbers) - there isn’t much in between, but either way, they’re unbelievably boring.

6-9-4 Combos: The Special Snowflake. They at least try to be interesting, if only on a superficial level, but can’t keep it up for very long. They might seem endearingly quirky until you meet the people they hang out with, who are all pretty much just like them. To their credit, they’re usually pleasant enough company in that they couldn’t be cruel if they tried (though they are plenty judgmental in their thinking), but their flakiness and squirrely behavior usually prove too annoying for anyone to really keep them around for long.

7-1-2 Combos: The Wack-tivist. Thinks they’re hot stuff because they’ve helped out in a bunch of Third World countries. That’s great, of course, but it would be a lot better if they could shut up about it for five minutes. Excessively smug about all the different charity groups they participate in through their church and/or university while you just wonder where the hell they find the time and what you’re doing wrong with your life.

7-1-3 Combos: The Tweaker. Okay, so they may or may not actually use speed, but one thing is for sure; this archetype never sleeps. Ever. They have a full time job and several different hobbies, clubs, and volunteer groups, and they feel the need to excel and gain recognition within all of them. They are always on the go, but unlike the Overworked Grouch (6-8-3 Combos), they’re eerily chipper about it. In fact, they’re very sad when there’s nothing to do, because then they are forced to think about their feelings, which they are notoriously bad at. And it should be obvious how they feel about being bad at anything (Hint: it isn’t positively).

7-1-4 Combos: The Fanatic. A obnoxious mass of scatterbrained and stubborn behavior. Has their own personal brand of ethics and spirituality, which tends to involve a lot of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. They at least practice what they preach, so that’s one good thing about them - unfortunately, they don’t ever really talk much about anything else. They just find a million different ways and contexts in which to talk about it.

7-8-2 Combos: The Bootstraps Idealist. Like the Overbearing Meddler (6-8-2 Combos), but with an extra dose of irresponsibility. They think the answer to all your problems is for you to do extremely difficult or extravagant things without considering whether or not you have the time or resources. Often refuses to acknowledge health issues (both mental and physical), as well. Any reason why you can’t do the things they are telling you to do is because of your lack of positive attitude instead of actual reality. Usually has more than a few terrible habits, but will try and fool you into thinking they have all their ducks in a row by giving faux motivational speeches.

7-8-3 Combos: The Inconsiderate Douche. It doesn’t really get any worse than this. Loud, obnoxious, and hopelessly shallow, a person of this archetype may seem very popular, but their circle of friends is a revolving door because they just won’t stop screwing people over for the sake of their ambitions or disregarding their feelings. Stay far, far away.

7-8-4 Combos: The Conspiracy Theorist. Being paranoid and accusing the government of hiding all kinds of scary, exciting things from us is fun for them. Imagining that there is at least one conspiracy that targets them personally is even more fun. What they don’t understand is that it isn’t as much fun for everyone around them. If you tell them you don’t believe them or even that you’re just sick of hearing about it, they flip their lid and go off about how you’re an idiot and just want to remain ignorant.

7-9-2 Combos: The Walking New-Age Store. This complete knob of an archetype has a saying or quote for everything, but never really seems to think critically about or have anything of their own to add to the words they are repeating. Hardly anyone has the heart to tell them how canned-corny and downright unhelpful they are, because they just seem so blissful and earnest. It would be like popping a hot air balloon, on every possible level.

7-9-3 Combos: The Goldfish. Completely without any self-awareness, this archetype flits perpetually from one superficial interest to the next. Unsurprisingly, they find very little satisfaction from anything, no matter how enthusiastically they may dive into it. The creepiest part about this is that they are so numb and hollow, they barely even notice how unsatisfied they are - they’ve fooled themselves into believing this is a happy existence.

7-9-4 Combos: The Entitled Vagabond. Goes on long road trips for no real reason, couch-surfing all the way. Quite possibly has no permanent address or bank account, and they are okay with this. Does a lot of odd jobs and possibly illegal things; has never had an actual job in their life, because it just isn’t their style, man. They’re actually not too insufferable as long as you don’t expect much from them and don’t mind their mooching. Unfortunately, whatever positivity they may bring to your life will be short-lived; as soon as they pick up and leave (which they will), they will all but forget you even exist.

Why I Love Taryon Darrington

It seems like Tary will sadly be leaving us soon as one Mr. Shorthalt has dramatically re-entered the scene. During his brief (in real time) stay with Vox Machina, he became my favorite character despite his perhaps unwelcome first appearance. Over the course of their adventures, Vox Machina, though still a hilarious and lively group, became jaded and somewhat unhappy with the ways of the world and the choices they had made in their lives. Tary burst onto the scene and made them remember whats great about being a hero and how lucky they are to have great friends and this loving family.  

Honestly I do not think Sam was planning this character very carefully. Something along the lines of I want a funny character that’s very weak and has support magic so that VM can stay fairly well balanced. Then he was thrown into it unprepared and just mad it up as he went and it turned into this beautiful character who represents many of us in the community who have never really seen ourselves as heroes in fiction at all, let alone high fantasy. Just like VM, Critters fell in love with Tary once they saw that he was weak and only pretending at confidence. A friendless kid who read and read yearning to escape into their books and ride away to a happier place. Dreaming of being respected, wanted, needed by anyone. Feeling that familiar loneliness and the ache of old abuse from fellow kids or families, Tary’s ability to be the hero he dreamed of fulfills a fantasy many of us harbor in our hearts. That’s the whole reason why we watch and play Dungeons and Dragons after all. Tary also fulfilled the dream of many to be an unapologetically openly gay adventurer. To stand up to his family and demand that they love him just as he is.

Though he intends to return to his family soon, he has brought compassion and happiness back into Vox Machina. Despite his vanity, Tary always believed in the NPCs they encountered and just wanted to do the right thing. Despite the fact that this is clearly based on naïveté, it reminds everyone that you do not necessarily need to use cruel means to get the job done. Kind of like having a small child around, Tary made everyone want to be a little bit better to live up to his glorified impressions of them.

On a more personal level, his blatant admiration of Keyleth as his immediate singling out of her as the leader made her feel confidence in her power and her journey that she had never previously been able to fully muster. He thought super highly of Percy both because if his enormous admiration for his mechanical genius but also because Percy was his first real friend. Tary saw only kindness in Percy and his inventions which was a really new thing for him. Percy, though not yet fully, has started to be able to see himself as a kind and likable person. Although Vex was cool at first, she saw herself in Tary once they got to know each other. Most obviously his need for love from a cruel father, but also his love of money, fashion, and freedom. A very unexpected side effect, Vex learned to trust another more than than her own brother sometimes. By helping Tary, Vex, like Percy, found the kindness and mercy she had been searching for within her self.

I will be very excited if Tary does stick around for the Ank’horrel arc to witness this pyramid scheme, although it would make things very tricky for Sam. Also it seems like this arc is just the tip of the iceberg leading into a series of climactic events in the series. Either way, Tary has left Vox Machina and the Critical Role fandom better than when he came and will continue on to improve his family and his town with his charitable actions. Despite his occasional ditziness or arrogance at his core Tary is truly a sweet and generous charter and I am so glad for the joy he brought to the last few months of Critical Role.

I keep seeing ridiculous ads for obvious pyramid schemes on campus, saying shit like “EARN $100,000 ANNUALLY NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED! ENTRY LEVEL POSITION!”

And it’s clearly bullshit but I like imagining that somewhere out there is a lonely millionaire with a fantastic business idea, only he’s overworked doing everything himself because no one will agree to work for him because they suspect he’s running a scam

“I don’t understand,” he thinks to himself with a sob, “Was there something wrong with the font I used? Am I not offering enough money?”

✧  LAW & ORDER SVU PROMPTS. 

some are considered to be triggering and/or offensive at times. please reblog/read with caution.

  • ❝ I always carry at least a pair of earrings in my purse. ❞
  • ❝ Am I going to want to stop eating for this?  ❞
  • ❝ Your one night as a bachelor and you go to the grocery store? ❞
  • ❝ Do I need a lawyer? ❞
  • ❝ Don’t look at me, I just know stuff. ❞
  • ❝ Don’t get him started on one of his conspiracy theories! ❞
  • ❝ Is that the best you can come up with? ❞
  • ❝ So you’re an expert on sex crimes - is that correct? ❞
  • ❝ What’s your favorite kind of torture? ❞
  • ❝ Suppose I was just being polite. ❞
  • ❝ You have the right to remain silent.  ❞
  • ❝ Is there a specific reason you called us out? ❞
  • ❝ Hey. You doing anything Saturday night? ❞
  • ❝ What do you say you go interrogate a husband/wife? ❞
  • ❝ Are we missing some key piece of information here? ❞
  • ❝ What are you, sheep? Will you believe anything? ❞
  • ❝ You guys going to eat all this? ❞
  • ❝ There’s no crying in baseball. ❞
  • ❝ So you don’t think she/he murdered him/her. ❞
  • ❝ That was after she/they/he was killed. ❞
  • ❝ How are we going to find the other one? ❞
  • ❝ You mean the other one who also didn’t do it?  ❞
  • ❝ I read the autopsy report.  ❞
  • ❝ How about plain old testosterone-driven rage? ❞
  • ❝ The whole thing’s a pyramid scheme.  ❞
  • ❝ Somebody might kill for this. ❞
  • ❝ We’re next on the list for a one-bedroom. ❞
  • ❝ So you’re an expert on sex crimes, is that correct? ❞
  • ❝ Well, we all have something to learn.  ❞
  • ❝ I thought it was the absence of one that was insulting. ❞
  • ❝ Does anybody ever really know anybody? ❞
  • ❝ Don’t get philosophical with us.  ❞
  • ❝ Did you know necrophilia is not only with dead people? ❞
  • ❝ Do you see what you started? ❞
  • ❝ There’s a tiny catfish feared more than the piranha.  ❞
  • ❝ I’m…having a fashion police blackout.  ❞
  • ❝ You trying to tell me the 2 of you went dumpster diving? ❞
  • ❝ We supervised a couple of uniforms. ❞
  • ❝ Yeah, so, what do you want me to call you? ❞
  • ❝ Try not to screw it up with your insane rambling.  ❞
  • ❝ Oh, so you’re saying all women are whores? ❞
  • ❝ Drama’s a major food group for teenage girls. ❞
  • ❝ So is there anything you just…accept? ❞
  • ❝ No wonder you’re so skeptical. ❞
  • ❝ Don’t worry when you feel something. Worry when you don’t. ❞
  • ❝ Your feelings will always be a part of your police work.  ❞
  • ❝ What do you think we’re looking for, a rock, a brick, maybe? ❞
  • ❝ Who’s going to look for that? ❞
  • ❝ What, you have a fight with your right hand? ❞ 
  • ❝ I can see you had your priorities in order. ❞
  • ❝ I could say the same thing to you, babe.  ❞
  • ❝ I need physical evidence on the murder. ❞
  • ❝ C'mon, miss, you’re badgering my client.  ❞
  • ❝ You ever think about having kids? ❞
  • ❝ So as an adult you overcompensate? ❞
  • ❝ Yeah, go ahead. Rain on my parade. ❞
  • ❝ I don’t just want to rain on your parade.  ❞
  • ❝ Does this turn you on? ❞
  • ❝ You don’t find that amazing? ❞
  • ❝ Well, that’s only because you have a wife and kids. ❞
  • ❝ Come on, what’s up with that? ❞
  • ❝ It starts with the tattoos. ❞
  • ❝ You guys have finally figured me out, huh? ❞
  • ❝ Did you get off on the tiny little pinpricks of pain? ❞
  • ❝ I get that from working with you. ❞
  • ❝ I’m your partner. For better or worse. ❞
  • ❝ You don’t have to answer that. ❞
  • ❝ What questions can your client answer? ❞ 
  • ❝ This form is longer than the last book I read. ❞
  • ❝ Don’t you see what they’re doing?  ❞ 
  • ❝ What do you want from me? ❞
  • ❝ What’s that supposed to imply? ❞
  • ❝ Sweetheart, let me let you in on a little secret.   ❞
  • ❝ You’ve been here at night, too? ❞
  • ❝ It’s frailty, not vanity, you misogynist. ❞
Fall Out Boy sentence meme

Save Rock and Roll ft American Beauty/American Psycho, Centuries, Kids Aren’t Alright and Immortals edition

  • “Put on your war paint”
  • “You are a brick tied to me that’s dragging me down”
  • “I’ll burn you to the ground”
  • “We can take the world back”
  • “Doesn’t it feel like our time is running out?”
  • “No, I think it looked a little better on me”
  • “You broke our spirit”
  • “The war is won”
  • “Can’t be sure when they’ve hit their mark”
  • “I’m just dreaming of tearing you apart”
  • “I’m in the details with the devil”
  • “The world can never get me on my level”
  • “I’m a young lover’s rage”
  • “I’ve got the scars from tomorrow”
  • “You’re the antidote to everything except for me”
  • “My childhood spat back out the monster that you see”
  • “I don’t know where you’re going but do you got room for one more troubled soul?”
  • “I don’t know where I’m going but I don’t think I’m coming home”
  • “I’ll check in tomorrow if I don’t wake up dead”
  • “Let’s be alone together”
  • “We could stay young forever”
  • “You cut me off”
  • “It’s not my fault, I’m a maniac”
  • “Do you wanna feel beautiful?”
  • “My heart is like a stallion”
  • “This is the road to ruin”
  • “I’m here to collect your hearts”
  • “I don’t believe a word you say but I can’t stop listening”
  • “My old friends become exes again”
  • “Where did the party go?”
  • “I know I expect too much”
  • “You know I only wanted fun then you got me all fucked up on love”
  • “You and me are the difference between real love and the love on TV”
  • “My old aches become new again”
  • “So let’s fade away together one dream at a time”
  • “See how dirty I can get them”
  • “Anything you say can and will be held against you, so only say my name”
  • “It will be held against you”
  • “I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday”
  • “I know I’m bad news”
  • “I saved it all for you”
  • “I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way”
  • “Letting people down is my thing”
  • “This town ain’t big enough for two of us”
  • “I don’t have the right name”
  • “I have twice the heart”
  • “I’m here to give you all my love”
  • “Did you get dressed up?”
  • “I can’t stop it when there’s chemicals keeping us together”
  • “How the mighty fall”
  • “How the mighty fall in love”
  • “Your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme”
  • “I’m dizzy on dreams”
  • “If you ask me two’s a whole lot lonelier than one”
  • “We should have left our love in the gutter where we found it”
  • “You think your only crime is that you got caught”
  • “It’s getting clear”
  • “You’re never coming clean”
  • “I’ll lock you up inside and swallow the key”
  • “I know you said not to call unless I’m dying”
  • “I just hope that when you see me I’m not see-through”
  • “I’m either fuckin’ or workin”
  • “I’m a dick, girl/boy/baby, addicted to you”
  • “I know I’m the one you want to forget”
  • “Cue all the love to leave my heart”
  • “It’s time for me to fall apart”
  • “Now you’re gone but I’ll be okay”
  • “Maybe I’ll burn a little brighter tonight”
  • “I miss missing you now and then”
  • “Sometimes before it gets better the darkness gets bigger”
  • “The person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger”
  • “We’re fading fast”
  • “Give me your filth”
  • “Make it rough”
  • “Let me let me trash your love”
  • “I am the best you’ll never have”
  • “I wanna see your animal side”
  • “I need your broken promises”
  • “I want the guts and glory”
  • “Don’t take love off the table yet”
  • “We are alive”
  • “Oh there you go; undress to impress”
  • “You can wear the crown but you’re no princess”
  • “Let’s get you wasted and alone”
  • “We’re gonna die”
  • “It’s just a matter of time”
  • “I’m either gone in an instant or here ‘til the bitter end”
  • “What I’ve got will make you feel more alive”
  • “I’ll be your favorite drug”
  • “We’re the beginning of the end”
  • “It’s all over now before it has begun”
  • “We are wild”
  • “Do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?”
  • “Come on make it easy, say I never mattered”
  • “Are you ready for another bad poem?”
  • “Remember me as I was not as I am”
  • “If my heart is a grenade”
  • “We’re all fighting growing old”
  • “You need to lower your standards”
  • “I’m the lonelier version of you”
  • “I just don’t know where it went wrong”
  • “She’s/he’s/they’re sick and she’s/he’s/they’re wrong”
  • “I’ve seen bigger”
  • “I’ve lived better”
  • “Run for your life”
  • “Until your breathing stops”
  • “I need more dreams”
  • “I cried tears you’ll never see”
  • “So fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean and leave me be”
  • “You are what you love, not who loves you”
  • “Wherever I go trouble seems to follow”
  • “Whoa, how’d it get to be only me?”
  • “Cause we don’t know when to quit”
  • “She’s/he’s/they’re an American beauty, I’m an American psycho”
  • “I think I fell in love again”
  • “Maybe I just took too much cough medicine”
  • “I’m the best worst thing that hasn’t happened to you yet”
  • “We’re the things that love destroys”
  • “You will remember me”
  • “Remember me for centuries”
  • “We’ll go down in history”
  • “No, it’s nothing wrong with me”
  • “The story’s all off”
  • “Come on and let me in”
  • “I never meant for you to fix yourself”
  • “I can’t stop ‘til the whole world knows my name”
  • “I am the opposite of amnesia”
  • “You look so pretty, but you’re gone so soon”
  • “We’ve been here forever”
  • “I could scream forever”
  • “We are the poisoned youth”
  • “Maybe I bit off more than I could chew”
  • “I’d do it all again”
  • “I think you’re my best friend”
  • “I’ll be yours”
  • “I’m not passive but aggressive”
  • “It’s not impressive
  • "I still feel that rush in my veins”
  • “They say we are what we are, but we don’t have to be”
  • “I’m bad behavior but I do it in the best way”
  • “I try to picture me without you but I can’t”
  • “We could be immortals”
  • “I’m still comparing your past to my future”
  • “Live with me forever now”

((So I intend to write some needy bottom ER drunk texts later for @bill-rick today…because it’s a side of my muse I rarely explore and Evil Rick being needy for Bill is my kink, So of course I’ve searched the Pyramid-Scheme playlist for all the tracks that put my muse in that frame of mind and they’re all pretty much Trikey tracks…hahah!))

Murder by Death - Big Dark Love

Mitski - Once more to see you

Affection - Cigarettes after sex

 Halsey - Hold me Down

Eden - Drugs

Jack White - Love is Blindness

Mariana’s Trench - Lover Dearest

Placebo - Without you I’m nothing

Red - Lost

The Kills - Superpowerless

and just because - Lana Del Ray - You can be the boss.

Gorillaz interview with Spex Magazine, May/June 2017

I really enjoyed this interview but I couldn’t find it anywhere in English. I wanted to share this with you so I translated it from German and since English isn’t my first language I hope you can forgive me if there are some mistakes.

(This took me several hours so I hope you enjoy it! :) )

Keep reading

Kevin Trudeau won’t let The Man keep him down. Despite spending two years in a federal prison for impersonating a physician in order to commit credit-card fraud, becoming the only person ever banned by the Federal Trade Commission from selling products on television, and getting kicked out of multiple states for running a pyramid scheme, Trudeau is always able to bounce back. Of course, as of press time, he is back in jail serving another ten years. But surely he’ll rebound soon! Possibly in author form.

See, Kevin decided that a few years of impersonating a physician was basically the same as decades of medical training, so he wrote a medical advice book called Natural Cures “They” Don’t Want You To Know About. It’s about secret magical cures suppressed by the medical industry, those greedy bastards. But while pharmaceutical companies might do questionable things for money, Kevin certainly does questionable things for money.

For only $10 per month (or a generous $500 lifetime membership), you can subscribe to Kevin’s website and get some hot, hot tips on beating cancer. Luckily, we’ve managed to smuggle some of these carefully guarded tips through his impenetrable paywall. 

You might be thinking, “Duh. Go outside without sunblock to prevent skin cancer. A child knows that. What about my full-blown AIDS?” You’re in luck, AIDS victim, because that shit doesn’t even exist.

5 Self-Help Books That Got Very Popular Being Very Wrong