There once was a kid named Wallace who was dragged along to some awful restaurant with his parents. When the waiter took everyone’s order, Wallace ordered a turkey sandwich. But it came with a side, so the waiter asked Wallace if he wanted “soup or salad?” Now, Wallace had never been asked this question by a waiter before, and to his ears it sounded like he was saying, “super salad?” To which Wallace responded, “yes please.” Because who would turn down a super salad? It’s super. So the waiter repeated his question, “no, soup OR salad?” and Wallace again said, “yes please.” This went on for some time until Wallace’s father stopped the cyclical conversation and explained with better diction the difference in what was being asked of him. Wallace felt embarrassed. His cheeks flushed red. He meekly replied, “oh, salad, I guess.” Later he’d go on to create the world’s foremost super salad, as big as an entire mansion. And then he lived in it. And never spoke to anyone ever again. Actually, is he alright in there? Someone should check on him.
Prison AU: inmate dan becomes officer Phil's personal fuck toy at the prison.