they need saving sometimes but they also do some saving themselves

The Stevenbomb - what happens next...

Warning: Spoilers!

So, now that we’ve experienced the thoroughly explosive new Stevenbomb, there’s a burning question that we all want the answer to:

What happens next?!

Steven’s now willing en-route to Homeworld in order to keep his friends safe from harm, the Crystal Gems powerless to stop this heartbreaking scenario from playing out right in front of their eyes.

They’ll need a plan, and fast.  But the glaring issue here is that their only space craft has been stolen reunited with its rightful owner again.  The upshot of this, of course, is that the Crystal Gems now have no way of reaching space.

Or, do they…?

Originally posted by sakkakumon

Upon being freed from the mirror – and subsequently healed – by Steven, Lapis couldn’t get off the Earth fast enough.  In a relatively short amount of time, she was able to fly herself all the way back to Homeworld without the aid of a vehicle.

We know that, Peridot aside, Steven is the one person who Lapis cares for the most.  She’s already effectively sacrificed herself to save him in the past (this being her logic, no matter how questionable it might have been, when forming Malachite in order to stop Jasper from hurting Steven) – so she’s going to jump at the chance to save him again.

I daresay that the Crystal Gems will be well aware of this and will want/need to enlist her help, along with Peridot’s.  Peridot is, of course, the most “modern” Gem of the group and is the only one with prior experience of the current-day Homeworld.

Originally posted by inqnell

However, another issue could arise here because (in a manner of speaking) Aquamarine and Topaz were sent to Earth because of Peridot.  If she hadn’t filed that report all the way back in Marble Madness, things might have played out very differently indeed.

I’ve theorised in the past that Peridot is internalising a lot of the guilt that she undoubtedly feels for her past actions (trying to kill Steven, the fusion experiments, almost leaving the Earth to be torn apart by the Cluster, etc) and that, eventually, something would cause all of this guilt to come spilling out.  I have to wonder if she’s going to blame herself for Steven’s capture and that, ultimately, this is going to be the thing that tips her guilt over the edge.

Peridot has recently been showing an awful lot of compassion to one individual in particular, continually putting this individual’s happiness and comfort first…

Originally posted by roses-fountain

Lapis Lazuli.

Could it now be Lapis’ turn to be there for Peridot, just as Peridot has been for her?

When Lapis and Peridot find out what happened to Steven, there’s going to be a lot of upset from everyone.  Sometimes upset can turn to anger, and blame might start being attributed all around.  Perhaps the Crystal Gems themselves will begin blaming Peridot for what happened.

I can’t stop thinking about Peridot feeling guilty and getting very upset about the whole thing, prompting Lapis to say “It’s not your fault, Peridot…” before glaring at the Crystal Gems and adding something like “You’re not the one who let them take him!”

I feel like Lapis might be harbouring some resentment for the Crystal Gems and that she’s going to see Steven’s capture as being another reason not to trust them.  As I mentioned earlier, Lapis considers that she actually sacrificed herself to save Steven – so this line of logic could lead her to thinking that the Crystal Gems could have done more to prevent him from being taken.

Is it fair to apportion blame like this?  No – but that’s what can happen when something this distressing and heartbreaking happens.

Regardless of whether or not the “blame game” comes to fruition, everyone will have to calm down from their upset eventually and figure out what to do.  They’ll have to set aside any differences/disagreements that they may have and come together in order to rescue the one person who ultimately binds them all together – Steven.

And this is where things could get very interesting indeed.

Lapis can travel through space, but it’s unlikely that she would have the physical strength to carry multiple Gems with her. However…what if she’s not just Lapis at this point?

I think a fusion between Lapis, Peridot and the Crystal Gems (effectively creating another Alexandrite-esque Gem) is highly unlikely, for a number of reasons.

Originally posted by rozequart

Originally posted by thecrystalgifs

Alexandrite is an incredibly powerful Gem – and so was Malachite, Lapis’ only other fusion to date.  If one were to combine these forces, the resulting Gem would be unstoppable.  This would be ideal, of course; but, from a storytelling point of view, it offers a solution that’s too simple.  A “get out of jail free” card, if you like.

There’s also the aforementioned issue of Lapis perhaps not fully trusting the other Crystal Gems yet, as well as a huge question mark hanging over the stability of a fusion involving six Gems.  Lapis has also been left traumatised by her experience as Malachite, so I feel like she’d only fuse again with someone who she was very close to – with a dire emergency like this one being the catalyst to get her to try fusing with someone again out of pure necessity.

Luckily, there is someone who Lapis fully trusts, who she spends almost all her time alongside, and who she’s living a very harmonious relationship with…

Originally posted by barzeronipizza

…and so this might be where we finally see our Lapidot fusion!

To me, it makes absolute perfect sense.  Lapis can fly through space at an alarming rate, Peridot knows all about modern Homeworld – and, if necessary, their fusion might actually be able to carry the other Crystal Gems along with them!

Imagine a scene where Steven is in a room on Homeworld (or, alternatively, still on-board Aquamarine and Topaz’s ship).  Suddenly, a new Gem – the Lapidot fusion – comes bursting through the door, the Crystal Gems in her arms/clinging onto her back.  That would be an amazing scenario.

Of course, the nature of the show is such that we see everything from Steven’s perspective.  I wonder if the show will break this convention soon in order to show what’s happening on Earth ahead of Steven’s inevitable rescue.  We obviously know he’s going to get rescued somehow, but the tension and build-up would be somewhat watered-down if we see the Crystal Gems’ plan play out in the form of a The New Crystal Gems style flashback episode.  That’s still a distinct possibility, of course, but I must admit that it’d be nice to see the show’s formula get slightly shaken up in the next episodes.

Dysphoria Tips

To start this post off, not all of these tips will work for everyone! Everyone’s dysphoria is different and everyone has different things that help! 

Also, I am not a doctor or anything like that! And I am a trans guy, so that’s what this is all coming from, I can try to look up how other genders deal with dysphoria, but I think a lot of these ones will also help other genders


- Showering (I know this doesn’t help everyone)
Okay, so I know it may seem like confronting your physical form may not be the right thing to do, and it might not be, but for me taking a shower/bath really helps because I focus more on the routine and what I’m washing than my actual body
Also! Using products that match your gender might really help!! I use the more “masculine” smelling products for my body and it’s super nice ^^ They also have products that are more “gender neutral” if that’s more your thing

- Do something distracting that you enjoy
For example, I love going on walks, drawing, writing, and gaming and any of things things could be distractions from things that you don’t want to think about! You of course don’t need to pick one of the things I enjoy doing, there are lots of things you could do like sports, blogging, listening to music, hanging out with your pets (they aren’t going to judge you!), etc.

- Find someone who won’t judge you!
I know this might be hard for some of you, but I know that I have at least one person to talk to every time I get upset about this sort of thing! My friends will not misgender me, and they will reassure me that I am a guy and I do pass, and all that good stuff! If someone is hurting you and misgendering you and not respecting you, you can cut them out of your life! You are not obligated to keep these people around because of their feelings
Pets can be used for this too! Your animals will never judge you :3 Hell, they probably don’t even know what gender is :D

- Find things about yourself that you like
This doesn’t have to be about your body, but it can be! If you take the time to think about positive aspects of yourself, you might feel a little better. And if you can think about the positive things about your body, like the color of your eyes or the shade of your skin, or how great your smile is, or how cool your hair was in that one selfie, it might make you feel a little better about how you’re feeling about yourself right now c:
If you don’t want to or can’t think about positive things about your body, try thinking about things you’re good at or things you like about your personality! Like how great of a person you are, how nice you can be, how cool you are, or how dedicated you are! Something like that!

- Treat yourself
I know not everyone can go buy themselves their favorite dinner or anything like that due to money, but you can do simple things like watch your favorite movie! Or just let yourself eat that expensive ice cream you bought last week :3 Curl up in your favorite blanket with that one pillow that’s just right, or put on that makeup/outfit that you love! It’s in the little things

- Try not to think about “passing”
I know this is extremely hard, but “passing” is just a social construct. Nobody “looks like a boy” because boys can look like anyone, and the same goes for other genders as well! This is definitely a hard thing to tell yourself, especially since a lot of people don’t get it, but it might help some of you!

- Find inspiration!
Find someone who you look up to, or who is transitioning/has transitioned. Some people (like me) might feel resentment at them for being further into their transition than them, but other might (and should try to) be filled with hope and positivity by seeing that things get better and that it is possible to change yourself into how you want to (or do) see yourself

- Look back
If you’ve already started your transition, look back to months, or years ago! You will be surprised at how far you’ve come
You might even feel more hopeful about the future after having seen how much you’ve changed since before

- Find people to talk to
Find people who are, or have been, in the same or a similar scenario; they know what it’s like and they may be able to help you! They can share what it was like for them and what helped them

- Just. Stop.
Seriously, if you can, don’t do anything that day. Sometimes, people just need a break or some time alone. So, if you’ve been saving up those hours at work, take the day off if you can! If you know there’s nothing important at school the next day, try to stay home and not put yourself through more stuff
Keep yourself safe and comfortable during your break! Maybe use this time to use one of the other techniques at the same time ^^

- Keep a diary
This might seem silly, but I keep a diary off and on and it really helps me! Sometimes people just need to open up, but not to a person 
I named my diary Tina, so it kind of felt like I was talking to a person, though haha
Also, just getting all of this down on paper (or on the screen) might help

- Wear your favorite outfit!!
Find that outfit that makes you feel like a hundred bucks and wear it! It doesn’t matter if you’re staying in your house or going somewhere, wear that outfit and own it! Take a lot of pictures if you like the way it looks c:

- Selfies
Take selfies when you look hella good and how you want to look, so that when you’re feeling down and dysphoric, you can look back at your selfies and be like “damnnn I look hot”

- Workout
This might seem like a horrible idea, but I’ve heard that it works wonders! Just go get beefy or run into your legs feel like jelly
This might also help you sleep, which might help by getting rid of your thoughts

- Sleep
If you can take a nap, or just crash out, do it! You don’t have anything planned and these thoughts won’t stop? Go to sleep. You won’t be thinking of anything if you’re unconscious

- Avoid negativity
If you know someone is going to bring you down, avoid them
Same goes with places! If you know that a certain place is going to be negative or bring negative thoughts on, it’s probably best to avoid that place

- Drink ice water
I find that the painfully cold liquid can really wipe the mind with it’s shocking temperature

- Meditate
If you’re into meditation, or want to try it, I hear it does wonders to find that inner peace and just forget you have a body or end up thinking more positively about that body

- Watch your favorite show
Focusing on something you love, like a series filled with interested characters who aren’t you and find themselves in lots of situations can really take your mind off of things

- Burn incense or candles
Burn it right next to your bed (carefully tho) and make sure it’s a scent that you love! This way, if you don’t get out of bed, you can still have something to enjoy

- Read
Read a book, or a fanfiction, or anything that will capture your full attention, so that you have something better to focus on

- Modify your body!!
Like piercings, and hair dye, and stuff! Hell, even those temporary tattoos are pretty cool :3 This way, you can feel like you’re doing stuff to your body on your own terms
You can even just draw on yourself with a sharpie or something!

- Clean
Maybe just do some laundry or put things in neat little piles! Any amount of stress taken off will feel super good and also you might find that one outfit you lost months ago! (if you’re anything like me haha)

- Name and pronouns
Write down your name and pronouns on things to make you feel a little better seeing that that’s what you want to be called, and it can just be written down like that!
You could also ask some supportive friends to read them or just call you by them for no reason at the moment haha

-  Take up a new hobby
You could spend the time you spend being dysphoric, doing something you enjoy! Learn a new language, or learn how to do arts and crafts, or buy some gardening supplies!

- Save up money
Just stick some coins from the dryer in a jar and start saving up for your transition! It’ll make you feel like things are going faster than they are

And remember: You are valid! No matter what anyone tells you, or how you feel, you are valid! <3

Third Wheel

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: angst, a little self-loathing, self-doubt, depressive thoughts (?)

Word count: 787

Summary: The reader feels like the third wheel and makes a harsh decision.

A/N: I hope you guys like this and if you do please please please leave some feedback.

Sam and Dean Winchester would die for you. They would die for a lot of people. If there was the tiniest chance that they could save someone, risking their lives would be the least of their worries. They we’re the most selfless people you had ever met.

But there was one thing. One specific thing that could make them into the most selfish person you had ever come across. You had seen it happen multiple times.

Dying for someone, that they could do. But living without one another? That’s where their selflessness came to an end.

Keep reading

Pluto thru the Houses

Pluto in the First House – these people are very intense. It may seem like they’re looking straight through you sometimes, probably because they are. Someone with Pluto in the 1st house individuals view life as a series of struggles with many traumatic ups and downs, and the occasional drastic change to their overall self. These people are not looking for the superficial; they want to know the how, what, where, why, who, and probably more. They want to understand the world and the people in it. Typically, you’d find that someone with Pluto in the 1st house may have experienced trauma at birth, or the mother did during birth. These people do not back down, if something is in their path they simply move it out of the way and make room for more possibilities. They have very destructive powers and can be somewhat masterminds at using it onto others; they are great manipulators. They can probably convince you to do a lot of things you could not see yourself ever doing, but because they’re saying to do it, it doesn’t seem so bad. However these people are always on guard and looking out for themselves, they see life as survival of the fittest. They tend to experience a lot of personal growth through their life and are usually very wise even only in their 20′s, it seems like they’ve experienced and felt everything life has to offer. Their eyes are keen and penetrating. Their suppressed emotions can erupt sometimes, rising to the surface, causing them to act in extremes. They are the epitome of intense. They may not trust the world as a whole. Pluto in the 1st house people may have experienced life or death situations, or extreme trauma in their lives, usually making them very strong people with thick skin. They present themselves in a very secretive and covert way to others. A lot of people find themselves very attracted to these people, with no explanation as to why.

Pluto in the Second House – the 2nd house rules money, Pluto rules obsessions, so it’s an obvious and superficial answer to say that people with Pluto here will be obsessed with money – although it can be true. However, someone with this placement may hold secret and hidden talents/ways of making money that could change the world. These people may be hoarders, with money or materials. Some may see money and possessions as a symbol of power and superiority; some may see it as being closer to God. Their income is likely to come from Pluto-like professions/careers: psychology, therapy, medical fields, detective, undercover jobs, or healing professions.

Pluto in the Third House – mixing Pluto with the house of thinking and communication adds a very deep, penetrating and Scorpionic flavor to someone’s brain. The goal for these people is to transcend and penetrate through the superficial or typical trains of thought or ideas and dive so much deeper into the grain. These people are great at studying, researching, investigating, etc. The 3rd house also rules siblings and who we grew up with. Pluto in the 3rd house individuals may feel as if they had to fend for themselves growing up, resulting in becoming very defensive over themselves and always trying to put themselves first to avoid manipulation and/or abuse. These people are also very intuitive, and it seems as if when they think about something or mention something, it happens the next day. Which can be scary sometimes. It may have been difficult for these people to open up in their childhood due to the feeling of keeping everything inside to avoid vulnerability and/or manipulation.

Pluto in the Fourth House – having such a powerful planet on one of the angles in the chart (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th houses) is not something to not take lightly. Pluto in the 4th house individuals may of had to deal with a mother that was Plutonic herself. She may have taken her emotions out on her children, been very restrictive, possessive, domineering, obsessive, or there could have been something to cause all of this in her – a death in the family, mostly, because Pluto rules death. Death can mean a lot of things though. Divorce, actual death, the endings to things can all mean death. The childhood may have been very complex, dark and twisty, and many traumas may have been felt or occurred in the childhood (by the mother, probably). These individuals with Pluto residing in the 4th house may have had to grow up fast, and became wise at a very young age, feeling as if they’ve felt the world’s pain just inside their own household.

Pluto in the Fifth House – someone with Pluto in the 5th house takes the pleasures and leisurely themes of the 5th house to high extremes. It can be very hard for these people to loosen up or just let go and have fun for once. They can have a tendency to take life very seriously. They make become self destructive in these areas of the 5th house too, like through casual sex; these people are not the type for that. They may also attract Scorpio/Pluto types in relationships, even stalkers at times. The person with Pluto in the 5th house may feel like some kind of tortured artist; having so much inspiration, creativity and desire but just cannot get any of it out. They must learn valuable lessons in life of pleasure and creativity and to stop being their own worst enemy/critic, and to just let it pour out of themselves. These people, as children, may have been told “no” a lot, for having different or “dark” interests. They may love dark themed art, movies, photography, etc, and take part in it themselves. They may be fascinated with Scorpionic topics that are taboo, but they don’t see it as taboo. They see it as, “why don’t more people know about this? Why is this kept such a secret?” thus resulting in societal-based inappropriate expressions of feelings, such as loss and death. They can have addiction problems as well and it would be wise of them to avoid gambling, drinking, drugs, etc, as best as they possibly could.

Pluto in the Sixth House – Pluto in the house of daily routine, jobs, and service can result in obsessive tendencies in all of these the 6th house as to offer. Someone with Pluto here may have obsessive daily activities, whether it’s as simple as needing to walk the dog every single day at 7 o’clock or drink/do drugs, etc. It is just the fact that it’s obsessive and nearly compulsive. They may be subject to being hypochondriacs as well, being obsessed with their own health to an unhealthy point. Eating disorders may be something Pluto in the 6th house has to struggle with in their life. Basic everyday activities turn into compulsive rituals with Pluto in the 6th, getting dressed in the morning may be the biggest event of all to them. Pluto in the 6th could have a very strict dietary pattern though, could be very obsessive with their intake. May like to indulge or “binge” then stop completely, knowing their limits. Pluto here, since it rules sex and the sexual organs, can lead to STD or other sexual diseases. They may suffer from extreme stress or tension. It’s important to not always push yourself so hard on a daily basis or in your job, find something you love to relax. Pluto here needs time out of their day to relax and calm down. Yoga is recommended.

Pluto in the Seventh House – the 7th house represents who we attract, what we are attracted to (in some cases), what we project onto others, and what we can be projected as. With Pluto here, relationships are not taken lightly. The individual with Pluto in the 7th house may attract Plutonic people themselves – obsessive, possessive, controlling, manipulative, etc. Though those are just the negative qualities of Pluto, they may also attract the lighter side of Pluto and experience the true transformation desired through relationships. The person with Pluto here experiences relationships as a type of awakening. There may be power struggles present in the person’s relationships, where one may desire more control over the other – and most commonly, it is not the person with Pluto in the 7th house. They may give in to manipulation and take this sort of abuse from their partner. The person with Pluto in the 7th house definitely feels like relationships are catalysts for self transformation and rebuilding. There could be a reoccurring theme of suffocation in relationships; ones that are too smothering, too over-protective. Interactions between others for the person with Pluto here are addictive and sometimes dependent. They can become addicted to relationships and the feeling of enhancement it brings them. It is wise for those with this Pluto placement to avoid those that exhibit Pluto’s lower functions; obsession, possession, and the desire for ultimate control.

Pluto in the Eighth House – in Pluto’s ruling house, it feels very at home. Pluto in the 8th house individuals can experience major life changes, or most commonly the individual will experience one major life transformation that completely marks them forever. They will be very attracted to 8th house themes: sex, death, transformation, power/survival, and money (other people’s). Intimate relationships are felt with every fiber of the person’s soul; they mostly result in major changes in both people involved. Sex can be consuming for the person with Pluto in the 8th house; the sex drive is likely high, because of the personal connection and how much they feel they resonate with it. These people are very probing and will more than likely be interested in the occult and 8th house surrounding themes. They may have some kind of hidden death wish.

Pluto in the Ninth House – Pluto in the 9th house individuals may have gotten so obsessed and even involved with their beliefs from a traumatic or high pressured situations. Those moments where you’re praying to god that nothing bad will happen, and that you will be singled out and saved by some supernatural force or higher power. Those moments convinced the Pluto in the 9th house individual that “this is real, this is what’s going to save me, and I must do what I can to pay them back.” These people can feel some kind of obligation and obsession with their belief systems. There can obviously be a fascination with occult, philosophy, archaeology, or alchemy. They can search intensely for the meaning of life, and are strong believers in the phrase “Knowledge is power”. They believe what you know will save you. Pluto in the 9th house individuals can feel greatly impacted by their higher education opportunities and feel that it is or was the most influential factor in their life. They are fiercely stubborn in their beliefs as well.

Pluto in the Tenth House – the 10th house, or Midheaven, is the highest point on the natal chart. The 10th house is what other’s see, your reputation, how others are perceiving you to be. With Pluto here, it may take a while for the public or others in your career field to like you as a person. You seem like a powerful and intimidating force. Many of the world’s most famous (and infamous) leaders have Pluto in the 10th, or harshly aspecting the 10th house, like Vladimir Putin for a good example (pluto square the midheaven). Those with Pluto in the 10th house experience self transformation through their career. The individual’s ambition is highly developed, and there is a drive where nothing can stop you from reaching your end goal. The career will be found within Plutonian fields: psychology, detective, healer, investigating, or something involved in business. The person with Pluto in the 10th house will usually take their career and lead it onto a completely new path; addressing the things that no one will talk about or make an effort to change or acknowledge. Eminem has this placement, and it’s easy to see that. They challenge and change society, and that usually becomes what they are known for.

Pluto in the Eleventh House – the 11th house rules groups, social circles and dreams/aspirations. When Pluto is found in this house, it can usually result in the individual experiencing intense and life-changing relationships with those involved in their social life – so, friends. Friends play a huge role on this person because they are the most influential and powerful force in their life. The individual with Pluto in the 11th house may attract “powerful” friends in their life – those well known, for good or bad. Pluto here can give someone extreme anxiety or paranoia when it comes to crowds or being surrounded by new people (strangers may scare them). The need to control or dominate their friend group, or any kind of group, may become a real problem in their lives. Common effects of Pluto are jealousy and mistrust, and this can occur as well in their social circle – the individual with Pluto in the 11th must learn to not be so mistrustful of those they call their friends but they feel they cannot help it at times. They believe they have a reason to feel that way. The positive side however, is the bond of very powerful, long lasting and reliable friendships.

Pluto in the Twelfth House – the 12th house is the most unconscious, self-unaware house – it is almost impossible to fully understand, because it is the part of ourselves that we most commonly reject. With such a powerful planet in this house, there is definitely an ultimate fear of losing control, and may result in self destructive tendencies that can occur unconsciously. People with this placement are usually somewhat masochistic – not even always sexually but emotionally. They tend to take on a lot of weight and pain from others onto yourself which can hurt them a lot at times. This is usually a placement representing some kind of abuse or trauma, usually sexual. With Pluto working behind the scenes of the chart, you have someone that’s very spiritually and intuitively gifted though. They’d make a detective probably. This placement can be very difficult though because it can feel like you’re being faced with your demons a lot. Pluto in the 12th can experience a lot of emotional turmoil. It’s an intense planet in an intense house. You could have really raw and intense (maybe violent) desires (sexually) (that you could feel ashamed of, probably, because of the nature of the planet & house). It’s really important for people with Pluto here to have some kind of emotional outlet to let out distress because self destructive tendencies are likely.

THINKING ABOUT TAKING A GAP YEAR?

hi folks! as most of you will know, i’m currently taking a gap year. i’ve received so many questions about this (mostly asking me for advice) so i thought i’d just gather all the questions and the information i’ve gathered and make a little guide about it all! :-) i’ll be going through why i’m taking one, the advantages and disadvantages and what i’ve learned so far!

► what is a gap year?

first thing’s first: what is a gap year? according to the cambridge dictionary, the definition is as follows: ‘a year between leaving school and starting university that is usually spent travelling or working.’ most people will take a year out before starting uni, but it’s also often taken to prevent a burn out or stress from overwork in later years. the reasons for taking a year out before starting uni vary, but the most common reason is to have fun and explore the world before getting down to some serious studying. as a result of this, young people will have a chance to get to know themselves, and the world around them, a lot better. in general it’s seen as a positive thing, although the opportunity can be wasted if the year is spent being lazy and not doing anything interesting.

► why did i decide to take a gap year?

i made a post about this back in july (2016), but i’ll briefly explain this again. in my case, there were a few reasons why i decided to take a gap year instead of going straight to uni after graduating. the first being that the course i want to do is super expensive compared to the normal courses in my town, so my parents wanted me to work and save money to pay for it myself! since i really want to do the course, i totally didn’t mind the idea of working for a year and saving up the money. the second is that i was only 17 when i graduated, so i’d be moving to barcelona at a really young age to study there. that was something my parents and i weren’t so sure about (considering my age). a few other factors are that i wanted to finish my musical education before leaving, i wanted to have some fun and travel a little before studying and that i wanted to feel really ready for the move. 

► should you take a gap year?

i get asked a lot by my followers if i think they should also take one, and i honestly think it’s way too personal to let anyone else decide! you need to think of the reasons why you would want/ need to take a year out first. i suggest you make a list of reasons why and reasons not to. if one list has better reasons, go with that one! i also suggest you talk to your family, teachers or anyone else you know taking one/ or has taken one. but if you need a little more help, i’ve made a little list of the advantages and disadvantages that you can take a look at below.

► what are the advantages?

there are so many so i’ll try my best to list them all!

  • you don’t have to study: for some people this is a huge advantage. if you’re not too keen on studying, taking a gap year provides a nice long break to enjoy before going to uni to study even harder.
  • you can do the things you couldn’t as a student: think about it: you have a whole year to do whatever you want to! as a student you’re bound to certain activities like going to school, studying, etc. now you’re not in school you can travel or pick up a hobby you didn’t have the time for/ the money for/ or just plain couldn’t before!
  • you can experience the working world before your peers: this is an advantage i regard really highly. i’ve been working for almost 8 months now, and i have discovered so many things about the working world that i wouldn’t have otherwise known. you’ll find out how to find real jobs/ go to interviews/ etc before any of your peers. and with that comes the money.
  • → money: if you choose to work. you’ll be payed good money depending on the job, and with that money you’ll be able to travel or buy things you couldn’t before! you can save it for later life too, which will help you out a lot in the long run.
  • you’ll get to know yourself better: if all your friends decide to go to uni, you’ll probably not be able to spend all that much time with them anymore, leading to you being alone more often. but don’t worry! this can be a really good thing. you’ll get to know yourself better, and by working/ travelling/ picking up a hobby you can really work on yourself. i found that high school really messed up my ideas of myself by trying to fit in. you really get the chance to look after yourself better and to nurture your true nature and personality more.

► what are the disadvantages?

when there are advantages, there will always be some disadvantages!

  • you will feel a little isolated sometimes: if you don’t know anyone else taking a gap year, it’s very likely you’ll feel slightly isolated at times. friends going to school or uni will have a very different schedule than you, so you won’t always be able to hang out with them. this is very easily remedied by keeping yourself busy and active though!
  • you might get out of the habit of studying: because you won’t be in school or taking a course, you might find yourself getting out of the old habit of studying. i noticed how fast my hand got tired when writing for example! this isn’t a huge problem, because you can always keep your habits alive by following online courses or learning a new language for fun!
  • you might become less motivated: this sort of ties in with the previous point, but it’s possible you’ll notice yourself get lazier and lose motivation. the habit of routinely studying and doing your assignments won’t really be necessary during a gap year, so it might be hard for you to get back into the swing of things later on.

That’s it! Hopefully this was helpful to some of you!  :-)

+ gap year series

+ more posts

Sansa, Smart

So. Sansa. I hear some people think she’s not very clever. This is a view shared by several characters in the books.

But there’s no reason the readership should share those views. Sansa is a very clever individual who makes increasingly good use of several skills she started the series with, and develops greatly as an observer and an actor over the course of the story.

Putting everything under a cut, for reasons of four books of brainpower.

Keep reading

Okay, so, I don’t normally post my own things, I usually just reblog other people’s wonderful and, frankly, amazing stuff, but I need to get this out.

I’ve been reading lots on how Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s ratings are bad, and to be honest, the second and third seasons were not the best. But the show needs to be renewed because here’s the thing: girls need heroes too. Not just Captain America or Iron Man - they need female heroes. They need to know that heroes don’t always have powers. Melinda May never needed powers to become a legend, she honed those skills herself. She became a hero because she chose to be one, and Grant Ward was not a hero, despite the many chances given to him, because he chose to not be one. Daisy, or Skye, was a hero before she even got her powers because despite her past with the Rising Tide and an abusive childhood, she chose to do some good. 

Girls need to know that being weak and breaking down is alright because it is a human thing and not a silly, girlish weakness. They need to know that silence can mean strength and dresses don’t stop you from fighting. They need to know that being a scientist, a person who loves learning, does not equate to having square glasses and dull clothes and no friends. They need to know that there are different kinds of strength and bravery and love. They need to know that you can have accents on your tongue and colour on your skin but it doesn’t matter because you are more than what men label you. They need to know that they don’t need a man to complete or define them, that they are extraordinary by themselves. They need to know that despite everything, despite the impossible, they can succeed because the only person you need to believe in you is yourself. They need strong women to look up to so they can learn to become them.

I’m fifteen years old. Asian. A second-year university student in a developing country with an anxiety disorder. It means everything to me to have an Asian female character to be able to look up to and to have so many other well-rounded female characters. When I feel like I’m too small, too young to be in university, and people call me a nerd, I think of Jemma Simmons and her two phDs in fields Coulson can’t pronounce and I smile at them. When I walk through dark alleys filled with shady men on my way home and my mom tells me to be careful, I think of Melinda May and her fearlessness and I become a little braver. When people tell me that I can’t possibly be smart enough to pass a class, that everything I say is only a bravado, I remember Peggy Carter and tell them I know my own value. I pass by them three weeks later with a certificate full of A’s. When I feel like I can’t possibly go on I think about Bobbi Morse unwilling to apologize for what she believed was right and if she can be that strong, I can at least be half as strong. I think about being different and Daisy Johnson will remind be that being different can mean making a difference, and as long as I’m showing people that a tiny, little Asian woman can kick their asses in class, then I’m making a difference because I’m showing them that we can, that I belong here as much as they do. And that is what Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. shows too. Or at least, the part I love most about it. The strength, the diversity, the equality, of women. And that is why, when people ask me what S.H.I.E.L.D. is about, I say, “protection.” Because S.H.I.E.L.D. protects me from the darkness of life, it gives me a place to fall back on, a place to remind me that I am strong enough to go through each day, and when I do go through each day, it is those ladies who poke my shoulders and nudge my chin up, giving me the confidence to look at life in the eye and tell it that I am more than whatever it throws at me.

Since I can’t do much to affect the ratings from where I live, I suppose I’ll just let my fondness and my attachments to these character out and hope that abc realizes how fundamentally important it is to have a show which gives girls the strong women and the representation they need to look up to, and that despite past mistakes, season 4 (especially 4x15) has been incredible.

———-

Small addition cause when last night I posted this little rant I did not expect so many notes but I’d like to add that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. also has female antagonists, it doesn’t portray women in black and white, good or bad. The characters are so completely human and not exaggerated. It portrays women as they are. Jemma has panic attacks and Daisy made some wrong choices but they are both more than capable of saving the day using only their minds. It shows that bad things happen sometimes and you can be forced to make hard choices and all you can do is choose what do to next and that doesn’t make you evil or bad. It shows that women are capable of being villains, that we’re not just angels. And that is important because it reminds girls that being good is a choice, that we have the potential to be otherwise, that we can make men fear us as much as we can make them respect us. It shows that sometimes we make bad choices and people will think the worst of us for doing what was right but despite our human flaws we need to remember to put on our own oxygen masks first before trying to fix things. There’s a post somewhere about how Melinda May left Providence in 1x19 and she left for herself because the environment was too toxic and that speaks a lot to me because it reminds me to take care of myself and my anxiety first and leaving a place that no longer is healthy is alright. I’ve found my social anxiety taking hold of me less since I’ve found strong women, and more specifically, Asian ones too, to look up to. Because they show me that it’s all human to feel like that, and they have so many flaws but they can also save the world, and most important, save themselves. Real or not, the characters have had a profound impact on me. For that I have to thank the writers and the amazing actors. To the person who said to tweet this to the creators, by all means, go ahead since I don’t have twitter. But I realised I didn’t thank the writers and the actors last night when they’ve given me those wonderful characters, both the women and the men.

I think I figured out part of what bothers me about a lot of the set-up in in The Clone Wars:  The Jedi seem to get blamed for what’s actually the fault of the Senate.

The Jedi are beholden to the Senate, they’re the governing body and the Jedi work for them.  They’re not allowed to go free the slaves on Tatooine unless the Senate gives the order.  And I don’t recall a single instance of a Senator arguing to go free the slaves.  Padme, despite her life being saved by Shmi on Tatooine, I have never seen her argue to the Senate (who are the ones who would have that authority) to go free them.

And, for another example, the Jedi are not allowed to do anything about the clones, because the clones are beholden to the Republic/the Senate as well. The Jedi work with them, they command them, but the clones are not the Jedi’s property (ugh, that word), they’re the Senate’s.  When the Senate votes to order more clones from Kamino?  When the Senate votes to revoke restrictions on the banking clan so that they can borrow more money to buy more clones?

That’s not the Jedi, that’s the Senate.

And, sure, you could argue that the Jedi should just leave the Republic rather than be beholden to the Senate (which is a process that would have taken years), but then how would they have supported themselves?  They had food bills, starship bills, fuel bills, clothing bills, etc.  Should they now charge people when they went to help them? Should they make it a setup where only the rich could afford the Jedi’s help? Should they just not be peacekeepers at all anymore?

Let’s also say the Jedi had refused to fight–how very, very easy would it have been for Palpatine to say, look at the Jedi, unwilling to fight!  They call themselves peacekeepers and yet refuse to fight for us!  Why, what are they planning?  They have all this power, what are they waiting for? and have people’s paranoia overtake them.

I feel like sometimes… what Palpatine did was really insidious on even more than just a canon level.  Even in the narrative, sometimes it feels like the Jedi were responsible for things that they actually had no control over and that’s exactly what Palpatine wanted, to be able to discredit them and put them in an unwinnable position.

The Jedi aren’t perfect, of course they’re not.  They were out of touch and they had grown stagnant and while it’s admirable in theory to be super objective (their code isn’t about denying you have feelings, but about being objective, that “no emotion” means you put yourself outside of it so you can make the most rational decisions/see things as objectively as possible) needed to evolve. But they weren’t given a whole lot of choices in the time they had and they made the best ones they could out of some bad situations and the tragedy of the PT (which is all about tragedy) is that it wasn’t enough to save them.

AND THAT MAKES ME CRY FOR THE PT JEDI A LOT.

Your local Voltron meta trash nerd is back at it again folks

Ok so bear with me if someone’s already done this but I couldn’t watch the newest season until now and I think (again this is all theory) that the last ep of Voltron was EXTREMELY important in terms of foreshadowing and learning more about the Paladins

So we’ve seen some common characteristics between the old and new paladins, ranging from straight up parallels to merely gender/build similarities. Pre-Comet Zarkon is stern but caring, Alfor is impulsive in battle, Blaytz is fun-loving (whooping with joy as he flies his lion for the first time like Lance) and flirtatious (gAY???), Trigel is the only female paladin (before Allura of course), and we didn’t see much of Gyrgan but he seems to be just as fond of one-liner snappy comebacks as Hunk. Shiro and Keith have a similar bond of friendship to Zarkon and Alfor, while Blaytz and Alfor have each other's backs (there is a scene that really parallels a scene from season 2)

But for me, this season has confirmed what I think are the weaknesses of the paladins because now we’ve seen multiple paladins and have been able to draw parallels between their personalities. The greatest things about these weaknesses are that they are actually the Paladin’s strength, but unmoderated they become weaknesses. For example, the Red Paladin’s strength is their instincts but its weakness, impulsiveness and self-centered thinking, is the result of relying too much on their instinct and not others. This one was quite obvious from the start, but the rest of them haven’t been explored much.

The foil to the Red Paladin is the Blue, whose weakness is self-doubt and relying too much on others, unlike the Red (which is interesting because Lance can pilot both thereby reinforcing the fact that he is multi-faceted, not having a “thing”). They are quick to doubt themselves because they can so easily see other’s strengths, but not their own. I mean “rely too much on others,” more so to mean emotional validation, to feel needed, etc. They see their worth through others’ eyes. Allura and Lance also share this willingness to charge in thoughtlessly or sacrifice themselves for the sake of their friends or family. Lance would give up his role as a Paladin for the sake of the team while Allura was lured into two traps because she wanted to see Alteans again.

The Yellow Paladin’s weakness is fear, but not necessarily like Hunk’s. Again, we don’t know much about Gyrgan but after seeing this line from Hunk

I think the weakness has more to do with not wanting to explore the unknown. A foil to the Green Paladin who is inquisitive, the Yellow Lion values security, therefore it’s weakness is not taking risks or sticking with what it knows instead of trying something new.

Which brings me to the Green Paladin, whose weakness is being willing to sacrifice everything for the pursuit of what they want (knowledge, family, etc.) Their inquisitive nature will sometimes lead them to make decisions that are too risky because they are too focused on what they want, like Pidge wanting to collect that data on her family instead of avoiding a giant falling object from the sky?!?!?! I think Honerva/Haggar would’ve made a great Green Paladin pre-Comet.

Finally, we have the Black Paladin and this is THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE. Their weakness isn’t apparent at first but when Shiro said

I realized it was this very decisiveness that is necessary to be a leader that is also their downfall. You have to be confident in your commands on the battlefield in order to avoid chaos and confusion. You have to make split-second decisions, sometimes really hard ones. All the Black Paladins must have this trait (Keith is v decisive. He knows what he wants, it’s just he’s immature and thinks with his anger, not his head), but being too firm in your decisions you make means you may not listen to your team. Zarkon refuses to close the rift, Shiro brings Keith to the Blade, Keith is… Keith.

Zarkon refusal to listen was his undoing and I think this episode foreshadows the same for Shiro. Shiro won’t turn all quintessence crazy, but I think this whole Kuron Phase 3 business is gonna stir things up (there’s a lot of theories about this but no matter what is actually going on, shit’s gonna go down) and maybe something inside him that he can’t control will mean Voltron loses its head… again.

But it won’t have the same ending as Zarkon’s story. This is where the right hand comes in. Zarkon and Alfor, Shiro and Keith, Keith and Lance. Think Hand of the King in Game of Thrones. It’s their job to make sure their leader doesn’t make dumb decisions. The right hand has every capacity of a leader but they aren’t because they see that another has traits that are stronger and they respect that person more. They instead lead by keeping their leader in check, challenging and pushing them to be better. But whereas Alfor failed to keep Zarkon from making the worst decision, I think Keith and Lance will write a different story.

I say Keith and Lance, not Shiro and Keith because Shiro has been retired from his post, he’s not the leader anymore even though Keith still feels like he should be. The writers have made it pretty clear that Shiro is to step aside from Voltron duties, but will still be important plotwise. If Shiro falls into Galran hands once again, maybe even becoming their weapon, Keith will lose it. He will stop at nothing to save him, just like Zarkon stopped at nothing to save Honerva/Haggar. It’s going to have to be Lance who will have to help him through this trial and talk some sense into him. I think this is why the writers have included a Keith and Lance bonding moment each season. Whether you ship them or not, it’s pretty obvious they have become more amicable and friendly as the show has gone on and this will be crucial in the seasons to come. Lance is canonically Keith’s right-hand man and if the story arc really does mimic the old story of the Paladins then this could be how it will go. I have faith Lance and the team will be able to reason with Keith and work out a plan. And they will still rescue Shiro but as a team.

Again, this is all theory so don’t take it too seriously, but I think it would be AWESOME. Let me know, too far-fetched? Waste of time? Didn’t make sense at all? lmao I’m trapped in meta hell

Save the Light - v1.02 Patch Notes

A new version of Save the Light, version 1.02, is now available on PS4 and is expected to go live on Xbox within the next few days [11/16/17 EDIT: Now live on Xbox!] This update brings a very large list of improvements, fixes, and increased stability to the game. You can read about most of the changes in the below patch notes. 

We’d like to offer our sincere apologies to anyone who’s experienced technical issues with the launch version of Save the Light. We take these problems very seriously, and we’re extremely passionate about this game, Steven Universe, and the SU fan community, so we want to do everything we can to continue to support STL and make it the best it can be. Our small team will continue to be very hard at work doing just that for the foreseeable future.

If you are still experiencing issues after this update, please feel free to contact support@grumpyface.net and we’ll be happy to help you. Thanks to all our fans and players for your patience on these matters and the continued support.

SAVE THE LIGHT v1.02 PATCH NOTES

11/10/17

BUG FIXES:

  • Fixed issues causing possible freezes or “soft locks” that could occur in battles throughout the entire game. Most were related to an error involving collider calculations directly after either enemies or players were knocked back. Players who were experiencing these freezes should now notice drastically improved stability in battle
  • Fixed many instances of team attacks and fusions sometimes causing “soft locks” or freezes in battle
  • Fixed several achievements not triggering, especially “team building exercise” and the three achievements awarded after completing the game’s various endings
  • Improved prevention of party members/followers getting stuck in the world, and also improved their ability to auto-teleport themselves to catch up to the player character
  • Fixed “Snowballio” the snowball enemy often “peacing out” and deciding to leave the battlefield mid-battle
  • Fixed wackiness with party members/followers not resetting properly sometimes when falling off cliffs, especially when moveable metal blocks were involved
  • Fixed Amethyst’s shock whip not functioning properly in some instances/against some enemies
  • Fixed an issue with Sour Cream wanting 11 total glowsticks instead of 10. (Note: for players who already started this quest before this update, it will still be possible to collect and deliver 11. New save files will only need to/be able to collect 10.)
  • Fixed an outdated description of Garnet’s “Ironhide” perk, and adjusted the order of her defense perks
  • Connie’s “protect” ability has received improved stability to prevent specific circumstances that could cause it to get stuck or behave improperly
  • Fixed corrupted animations during the surprise ‘phone call’ in the Great North
  • Boss fixes: fixed various issues that could cause some of the bosses in the game to get stuck. Fixed a bug with the Forest Boss where, upon defeating it, a sound effect could get stuck looping. Fixed a bug with the Strawberry boss involving the Tablet throwing ability not properly damaging its armor. Fixed an issue with last boss where it was possible to have game get stuck in slow motion upon final blow.
  • Fixed various other bugs and issues across the game

CHANGES AND IMPROVEMENTS:

  • Some general performance improvements
  • Relationship meters now fill 5% faster, leading to slightly more frequent team attacks and fusions
  • During the “Kudos” moment, now displaying the corresponding button icon next to each relationship meter in the top right corner of the screen
  • Added some new environment animation and polish to the Barn scene
  • Quest items in the backpack that are “completed” now show a green checkmark
  • Added new messages for landing your star taps in battle other than just NEATO BURRITO 
  • When using Sugilite’s Fire Punch, it’s now easier to fill the ability meter
  • Connie’s “Study” ability has seen an increase in power 
  • Peridot’s “Repair” ability star cost decreased from 2 to 1
  • All “secret” stages have had their difficulty bumped up somewhat, especially for the final two chapters
  • Added some new polish and various improvements to the game’s ending sequences and epilogue
  • A new jam now plays inside the Big Donut
  • Fixed an oversight with in-game text referring to Smoky Quartz as female. Fixed several typos in various spots across the game
  • Added some new, previously missing VO and sound effects to various parts of the game

KNOWN ISSUES:

  • Currently investigating reports of the “CBF” achievement not always triggering
  • [XBOX ONLY]: We are aware of the “Believe in Steven” achievement (for collecting all other achievements) not triggering on Xbox and will be providing a fix soon
  • [XBOX ONLY]: We are aware that the “Hidden Grove” secret stage is often failing to load on Xbox. This is a high priority issue and we will have it fixed ASAP
Interrogation as Torture

Interrogation is probably the scenario that comes to most Western people’s minds when torture is mentioned. The belief that torture can be used during interrogation is heavily ingrained in Western pop culture whether the story believes it ‘works’ or not.

I’m going to go over some of the most common misconceptions about what bringing torture to the interrogation table does and does not do.

Tell the Truth

‘Care must be exercised when making use of rebukes, invectives or torture as it will result in his telling falsehoods and making a fool of you.’ Japanese Kempeitai manual found in Burman 1943

The use of force often has the consequence that the person being interrogated under duress confesses falsely because he is afraid and as a consequence agrees to everything the interrogator wishes.’ Indonesian interrogation manual, East Timor, 1983

Intense pain is quite likely to produce false confessions concocted as a means of escaping from distress.’ CIA Kubark Counterintelligence Manual 1963

I can’t prove conclusively that in the history of the world torture has never ever once produced accurate information. Overwhelmingly often it does not. There are several reasons why.

Torture produces a lot of lies. Both people with information and people without information have a good reason to lie under torture. And they both do. The person with information does not want to give it up. The person without information needs to say something to make the torture stop.

Humans are bad at telling when someone is lying. When tested even people who think they’re good at spotting lies can’t do it consistently. It can be almost impossible to tell who is hiding something and who genuinely doesn’t know what’s going on. A person under torture might have already told the truth and started lying when the interrogator didn’t believe them. Which is exactly what happened to Shelia Cassidy when she was tortured in Chile in the 70s.

Pain and stress destroy the human memory. Experiments with willing volunteers have repeatedly shown that stress, pain and lack of sleep make it difficult for people to remember. A 2004 paper using US military survival school as the ‘high stress situation’ which simulated capture and interment as a POW (C A Morgan et al, International Journal of Law and Psychiatry 27, 265-279) found that between 51-68% of soldiers identified the wrong person as their interrogator. Interrogations had lasted four hours with the interrogator shouting at and manhandling the volunteers. The low stress group identified the wrong person 12-38% of the time.


Torture results in loss of public trust. Most police and intelligence investigations live or die on public support. People coming forward voluntarily with accurate information. People reporting on suspects. In the long term torture actively recruits for the opposing ‘side’. According to the IRA this is exactly what happened in Northern Ireland when the British used torture. It also happened in Aden and to a lesser extent Cyprus.

Torture in short produces more lies than truth and in such a mixture that it can be hard to tell which is which. Because of the pain it causes torture can make it impossible for victims who want to tell the truth to actually do so accurately. And because of the effect it has on communities it often makes it harder to gather accurate information through more reliable sources.

Accuracy in torture is so poor it is ‘in some cases less accurate than flipping a coin’. (No that isn’t exaggeration, that’s a quote from D Rejali who literally wrote the book)

The Ticking Bomb

The famous ‘ticking-bomb’ scenario is a fictional situation (it literally came from a novel, written by a suspected torturer) where a disaster (such as a bomb attack) is known to be approaching and in order to save innocent lives the characters need more intel fast.

So they start debating whether to use torture.

Depending on the story and the characters they sometimes do torture. Usually if they do it gives them information they then use to save lives.

There’s another problem, aside from the total lack of accuracy for information that comes from torture. Torture takes as long or longer than other interrogation techniques.

According to the CIA’s own records detainees were put through several days of sleep deprivation before interrogation. The Senate Torture Report (testimony from Ali Soufan) estimated that their torture techniques took 30 days.

According to British records and accounts from the IRA during the Troubles a single torture session by ‘walling’ (sleep deprivation, white noise and stress positions combined) could last between nine and forty three hours.

I’ve selected the following quotes to give an idea of the time frame for short tortures used in interrogation. Both are from Northern Ireland by Irish men detained by the British. Emphasis is mine.

‘One powerfully built RUC detective would keep me pinned in a position while the other one would hold my elbow then press back on my wrist. And that could last for an hour or possibly two hours. And it’s excruciatingly painful, to the extent that I remember after three or four days I would simply go unconscious-’ Tommy McKearney

When I was taken away from Girdwood to be interned, I thought I had been there for about eight days, but it was only three. I later realised I was only being allowed to sleep for ten minutes at a time.’ Joe Docherty

Interrogation always takes time. And that time is measured in days not minutes.

Sanitised Portrayals

‘NO useful information so far….He did vomit a couple of times during the water board with some beans and rice. It’s been 10 hours since he ate so this is surprising and disturbing.’ Senate Torture Report, from quoted emails SSCI 2014, 41-42

For me this is one of the most noticeable differences between torture in pop culture and torture in reality. Torture in films and books is always sanitised.

I don’t mean that it isn’t gory or isn’t gory ‘enough’. Blood seems to be a cinematic staple and seeing the hero beaten and bloodied in a dingy lit room has become standard in a certain sort of action story.

What I’m talking about are the body fluids and products we’re trained to think are less acceptable. Vomit. Urine. Mucus. Faeces.

I can think of several movies where a ‘good-guy’ gets beaten to a bloody pulp on screen. I can’t think of any where they piss themselves. But losing control of bladder and bowel function seem to be pretty common in real life. A lot of the eyewitness accounts I’ve read about systematic torture mention the smell of urine and shit.

Vomiting is something I don’t see mentioned as often in survivor accounts but I think it’s very likely to occur frequently because a lot of common methods of torture produce nausea.


The ‘Tough’ Interrogator

 

It may be only later, outside of that specific environment, that the torturer may question his or her behaviour, and begin to experience psychological damage resulting from involvement in torture and trauma. In these cases, the resulting psychological symptoms are very similar to those of victims, including anxiety, intrusive traumatic memories and impaired cognitive and social functioning.’ Psychologists Mark Costanzo and Ellen Gerrity.

Those techniques [CIA ‘enhanced interrogation’ techniques] are so harsh it’s emotionally distressing to the people who are administering them.’ Dr James Mitchell, psychologist involved in the CIA’s EIT program.

We are where we are- and we’re left popping our Prozac and taking our pills at night.’ Anonymous torturer quoted in Cruel Britannia

There’s a growing body of evidence that torture has a negative psychological effect on the torturer.

The evidence is for the most part anecdotal, based on patterns emerging across interviews. Torturers, funnily enough, don’t show up in droves for psychological studies. But there is a pattern. One of substance abuse, addiction, PTSD and suicide.

The cause of these symptoms in torturers is the same thing that causes trauma in people who witness horrific things. It is well known that seeing violent attacks on others can cause trauma in witnesses.

Humans are empathic creatures.

There is a measurable, automatic response in the brain to seeing others in pain. We can not control it and we can not stop it. Even when we are told that the other person is anaesthetized our brains still respond to their perceived pain.

This, combined with the destruction of normal social interaction and dehumanisation, appears in a very real sense to harm torturers.

If you’re planning to use torture as part of an interrogation scene it’s worth noting that some torturers do believe torture is a useful way to get information, despite the evidence. Some of them cling to the idea that they had to torture, that what they did was useful and saved lives. Some of them seem to overplay the value of torture in order to justify their own actions and jobs.

None of that makes them immune to the effect of torturing another human being.

Disclaimer

[Additional Sources-

‘Torture and Democracy’, Princeton, D Rejali (Only order this if you’ll be at home to pick it up, at over 850 pages it’s a monster)

‘Accuracy of eyewitness memory for person encountered during exposure to highly intense stress’, The International Journal of Law and Psychiatry C A Morgan, G Hazlett, A Doran, S Garrett, G Hoyt, P Thomas, M Baranoksi, S M Southwick, 2004 (This team have actually done a series on high stress situations and the effects on memory. Charles Morgan is the first author on this set of papers.)

‘Audacity to Believe’ Cleveland, S Cassidy

‘Why Torture Doesn’t Work: The Neuroscience of Interrogation.’ Harvard University Press, S O’Mara (Highly recommended, reasonably accessible for a layman)

‘Cruel Britannia: A Secret History of Torture.’ Portobello Books, I Cobain (Very good history, although the author doesn’t seem to understand many of the techniques he writes about)

‘What are you feeling? Using Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging to Assess the Modulation of Sensory and Affective Responses during Empathy for Pain’, PLoS ONE, C Lamm, H C Nusbaum, A N Meltzoff, J Decety 2007 (The experiments in this paper include brain scans of people seeing photos of a needle and a hand in various different positions, some of which would be painful. There wasn’t much change in brain response if the volunteers were told the hand couldn’t feel pain.)]

It’s come to my attention that amidst the glory that is Wonder Woman many people are saying “This is what a DC movie should be like” and that godforsaken article “the dceu is in trouble everyone liked Wonder Woman” all the while blatantly ignoring the vivid and prominent parallels between Wonder Woman and the other DC movies, specifically Man of Steel and Batman v Superman, because they seem to be at center of all the vitriol. Some of these aren’t parallels necessarily, just things BvS and MoS have been criticized for that magically no one mentioned about Wonder Woman.

Let’s start out with the most obvious, yeah?

1. Wonder Woman was FUN!!!

No. It wasn’t. Let me explain, I had a blast in this movie, it moved me, it made me laugh, it made me cry, it made my blood pump and while I am so blown away by seeing a movie directed with the female gaze and with all these amazing female warriors, this isn’t a FunTM movie. It’s set in World War I for god’s sake. It never shies away from the atrocities experienced by the citizens and soldiers in this war. It shows realistically what PTSD looks like through Charlie. It brings up interesting and complex ideas and hard facts about racism, politics, sexism and the arrogance of mankind. There are light moments for sure, but it isn’t bouncy happy fun all the time. I would say it isn’t humorous or light the majority of the time either. It’s a very serious movie, it expects you to take it seriously and you do. The thing is, Batman v Superman and Man of Steel are the SAME way. There’s humorous moments, light moments, but they are serious movies with complex ideas about heroism and being an immigrant in a strange world and how the darkness can corrupt even the most justice and moral driven of heroes. I had in watching them. I had amazing experiences. So did many others. But none of these movies are “fun” movies. They don’t shy away from sacrifice or darkness. They acknowledge that. You can have fun experiencing the movie, and laugh at its humor, but it isn’t a lighthearted film.

2. Colors!!

I mean, we’ve all hear the terms “dark and gritty” and “lacking color” when talking about the DCEU, which is frankly bullshit but I digress. Wonder Woman wasn’t really “colorful” either. Themiscyra was, but I mean it’s a magically hidden island of Amazons from ancient times. But as soon as they leave the island, the world is grey and dark and dismal. Diana calls it hideous. But this didn’t seem to detract anyone from enjoying the movie or following the story. Diana’s suit isn’t even that brightly colored, something Henry Cavill’s Superman has been criticized constantly about. Both movies use color and the lack thereof, shadows, darkness, to help tell the story.

3. Mental health/Triggering

Both Wonder Woman and Batman v Superman tackle PTSD in very real, pointed ways. Each depicts scenes where characters clearly struggle with nightmares, triggers, and outbursts from what they’re experiencing. Both did so in a compelling and realistic way and yet one was mocked relentlessly and one was not. Batman v Superman lingers on the mental health issues the characters are experiencing more, but they are central parts of the story and how it progresses. Bruce’s PTSD is what allows him to be manipulated by Lex’s games. Charlie’s PTSD is real and heartbreaking, but he is surrounded by friends and people who understand, Bruce is largely along besides Alfred who honestly doesn’t now how to help anymore.

4. The name game

So something I heard over and over as a criticism for Man of Steel was
that no one calls him “Superman”. People said Zack Snyder was afraid to use the name, despite the fact this was an origin story and he wasn’t Superman yet. Despite the fact that Captain Ferris calls him Superman by the end of the film(and I agree Ferris, he’s totally hot). Yet Wonder Woman was not called by “Wonder Woman” in the film and no one seemed to have any problem with that.

5. Stories about sacrifice

This one really gets my goat. Man of Steel ended in the destruction of Metropolis, but the hope we could rebuild. Batman v Superman ended with Clark’s death, but the idea that men are still good, justice is coming. Wonder Woman ended with Steve’s death, but that love is the most powerful motivation for heroism. All three of these things are important, and yet BvS was trashed for implying that heroism requires sacrifice and Clark should have just given Diana the spear. Well, as Wonder Woman also expertly showed us, sometimes, you can’t do everything. Diana told Steve whatever it was, she could do it. But she couldn’t. There was no time. He could save the day, but she needed to save the world. In Batman v Superman a similar situation unfolds: a creature from another word. Batman has the gas, but he’s a weak human compared to Doomsday. Diana is strong, but she’s holding Doomsday back with the lasso. And there’s Clark who knows that he has to do something. He has the spear. When you can do something you have the responsibility to. That’s what being a hero means. So he does. In both cases that sacrifice reminded the heroes of what heroism really is about: hope, love, the fact that humanity is deeply flawed but worth fighting for. This lesson is also demonstrated in Man of Steel when Clark has to kill Zod to save a family.

6. The Hero loses faith

When Batman v Superman came out Superman/Clark was heavily criticized about the fact that he has a crisis of faith, right after the bombing and before Doomsday it really looks like Clark is going to give up. That he’s going to hang up the cape and give up the dream of being the people’s guardian. Diana has a similar experience. After fake-Ares is killed and she sees that nothing stopped, she has an absolute breakdown. Her entire worldview, everything she was taught was shaken and uprooted. Steve tries to convince her that people are worth believing in, and when he can’t he goes back to doing what he must do. He must help save people. In both situations, the heroes are put to the test when people they love are put in danger and face real doubts about heroism and themselves. In both cases, each hero makes the choice to continue the battle. Diana saves Doctor Poison, choosing to believe in humanity and and take down Ares. Clark does his best to reason with Bruce, who he considered a violent vigilante, to stand down, and even after the fight goes beyond his control he begs him to save Martha, he doesn’t care if Bruce kills him first, as long as he saves her. He puts his trust in Bruce’s humanity and THAT is why they are able to put their differences aside to help fight Doomsday. In both cases the crisis of faith were important developmental moments, showcasing to the audience how grueling and disheartening being a hero is sometimes. Sometimes people don’t understand, they vilify you, they mistrust you. Sometimes you don’t win, and those failures have a high cost. Do you keep going? Both these movies answer yes.

Listen, I’m really not asking you to like the other DC movies if you liked Wonder Woman. They are different movies and each film had different strengths and weaknesses, but I am saying that as a whole MoS and BvS have gotten some pretty unfair criticism due to largely what I think comes down to Zack Snyder. Some people don’t want to like his films, so they don’t. But in the light of all that Wonder Woman is getting praise for, which it deserves, that both the other films did well along side it is hypocritical. Patty and Allan did an incredible job, but I would like to remind people that Zack casted Gal Gadot, not Patty, and Zack, along with others, helped write the story that Allan adapted into a screenplay. This movie was a team effort in a grand scheme of films that had its own wonderful unique qualities while sharing the ideals and driving force that its predecessors did.

SaeZen Headcanons (or why this is a Good Ship™

I love the idea of Saeran and Zen together! Here’s a list of hc’s brought to you by the combined efforts of @juminlovesv, @mysticmessengervibes, @rixsig-writes and myself. Enjoy~


-When they first meet, Saeran finds Zen a little overbearing.

-After a little while, he realises that he actually doesn’t mind too much. Zen seems to be the one RFA member who isn’t nervous about starting a conversation with him, and he doesn’t treat him as though he could break at any moment. He treats him like an actual person.

-Zen’s first thoughts on Saeran are that he wants to make him feel like he’s part of the RFA family, because although he doesn’t know the full story, he knows Saeran needs support. He’s willing to be patient and put in the time to get to know him.

-And he knows Saeyoung means well, but he can tell Saeran’s frustrated.

-Zen starts coming over to make sure Saeran gets to go outside and that Saeyoung isn’t being too smothering

-Zen stands up to Saeyoung if he is, and tells him Saeran’s an adult who can make decisions for himself

-He looks up all the good places to go on walks and watch the sky so he can take Saeran there

-When Saeran still isn’t allowed out, Zen will send selfies that include prime shots of the the sky to him on days he can’t visit

-As it turns out, Saeran actually wants to keep his hair bleached along with his ‘edgy’ clothing, but Saeyoung seems to think he needs to wear bulky sweaters and grow his hair out to aid in his recovery.

-Zen ends up helping Saeran bleach his hair, because if it makes Saeran feel more comfortable then how can it possibly be a bad thing?

-He offers to take Saeran shopping to buy clothes he likes and encourage his own style, helping him out and giving him advice, partly inspired by his own ‘bad boy’ phase in high school

-Zen even lends Saeran some of his old clothes from said ‘bad boy’ phase, because even though they’re slightly too big, Saeran seems to like them

-He supports Saeran in expressing himself via clothing and helps him pick things that look good together

-Zen does some research on PTSD and learns as much as he can on how to help others ground themselves so he can make sure Saeran always has someone who knows how to help around when they’re out, and because he just wants to make sure he’s okay and safe

-Saeran actually finds that it’s easier than he expected for him to open up to Zen, because his link to Rika and V isn’t quite as direct as most of the other RFA members

-Zen learns music therapy techniques for the same reasons

-Zen’s always there whenever Saeran needs someone to call, and isn’t shy or embarrassed about singing him to sleep if he needs to

-When Saeran makes significant progress, Zen argues on his behalf if Saeyoung refuses to see it

-He points out all the smaller things that maybe even Saeran hasn’t noticed, which takes both the twins by surprise

-“Hey, I know you’ve done some fucked up shit in the past but man, so have I. You can get through this.”

-Zen doesn’t think of Saeran in terms of being ‘the other Choi twin’ or ‘the Mint Eye hacker’, but as a separate person, a man who once lost his way but is now trying to figure out who he is.

-Zen makes sure to compliment Saeran on things that are unique to him

-Zen makes a point of showing Saeran that friendship is a Good and Wholesome thing, even though he’s wary of it at first

-Initially, Zen just wants to be friends, but the more he learns about Saeran, the more he ends up falling for this curious, loyal, witty guy who was hidden behind the mask he had to wear to survive.

-He helps Saeran discover everything he’s good at, no matter how silly

-Zen encourages Saeran to write down his jokes and comebacks because they’re so clever and might be able to be worked into scripts

-Zen constanty reminds him that not everything comes naturally and you have to practice sometimes

- “Quit comparing yourself to your brother! Your goal shouldn’t be to be better than him, but to be good at what you want. …besides, you’re already better than him. ;)”

-They bond over not finishing/going to school

-They also bond over shitty parents and brothers who think they know best

-Saeran starts to realize it’s okay to like things about himself through how much Zen loves himself

-Saeran likes Zen for who he is without a lot of outside influence (like that he’s a minor celebrity)

-Saeran is very fascinated by the fact that Zen’s willing to help him for absolutely nothing in return

-Saeran randomly surprises Zen with his ‘creepy voice’ and Zen finds it hilarious, telling him he’d be a great voice actor

-He feels accepted by Zen’s acting friends because most of them came from hard backgrounds too and don’t judge him

-Saeran becomes defensive of Zen when he finds out about his family and reminds him that he’s a great person even if they don’t want anything to do with him

-Ofc Saeran sings “Merry Christmas” to Zen in the ‘spooky voice’ and Zen ends up recording it and making it his ringtone

-Saeran and Zen playfully compete to see who can contort their voices to sound the weirdest and Saeran always wins by a long shot

-Saeran really enjoys watching Zen’s shows, but he isn’t always feeling up to going to the theatre, so Zen has someone (Saeyoung) stream it or eventually asks Jaehee to loan Saeran the DVD (a convenient opening for a beautiful friendship between Jaehee and Saeran)

-When Saeyoung prods for compliments, Saeran just says “Thanks for introducing me to Zen.”

-Saeran ends up falling for Zen because of how sweet and caring he is, and Zen is in awe that it’s not because of his looks or job

-Saeran casually acknowledges Zen’s attractiveness but always tells him things he likes more (like how much he genuinely cares for people) about him to remind Zen he’s more than just his looks

  • “You’re so… perfect”
  • “Ikr, I’m pretty handsome”
  • “Not just that. You make me like being alive.”

-Zen is, for once, utterly speechless

-Saeran convinces Zen to take a break now and then to make sure he doesn’t overwork himself

-Saeran makes sure the fridge is stocked with something other than just beer and water, and Zen starts to actually eat properly so he can have meals with Saeran, because he’s way too skinny

-Saeran helps Zen cut back on how much he drinks

-Also, they’re smoking buddies who are both trying to get each other to quit

-Saeran uses his artistic skills to help paint sets (and enjoying it)

-Saeran’s not used to having someone who can match his wit (Saeyoung takes him too seriously, and he can come off as mean to others) but Zen gets it and just hands it right back to him

-He enjoys Saeran’s dry humor

-Zen calls Saeran his ‘Prince’ and Saeran is surprised because he’s never been called anything so positive before

  • “I thought I was the dragon”
  • “Nah, you were just under an enchantment. You were always a prince ;)”
  • “Then you’re the knight who saved me?”
  • “You saved yourself, I’m just lucky enough to get to kiss you after.”

-Zen becomes the clouds in Saeran’s sky, while Saeran is the music in Zen’s life

Girls Need Heroes, Too: In Defense of Magical Girls

Of all the different types of anime, the magical girl anime is probably the sub-genre that is most looked down upon. Magical girl animes are bright and colorful, they always involve middle- or junior-school-aged girls gaining superpowers and having dramatic transformation scenes, and there’s plenty of fan service in terms of skimpy outfits and simpering looks.

Originally posted by thedragoon

People, even the more open-minded anime watchers, have a tendency to dismiss magical girl animes due to what they perceive as a standard storyline and stock characterization; they’re blinded by the plethora of pink, the frills and short skirts, and the girlish laughter, and they miss the more serious and frequently dark side of these shows.

Originally posted by kagenui

Like any television show, anime or otherwise, magical girl animes have stories and messages that are both entertaining and relevant. Few shows have as much optimism and determination as magical girl animes, yet these shows also provide a realistic (at least as realistic as you can get on shows where girls are granted magical powers to fight the forces of evil) look at the sacrifices and pain that heroes must face. Magical girl animes are able to blend important lessons with joy and levity, and there are a number of reasons that they’re worth watching.

One of my favorite things about magical girl animes is the way they portray friendship. Even if a magical girl starts out on her own, it’s inevitable that she’ll end up surrounded by a team of other magical girls and occasionally a token magical boy. Like any story involving teamwork, there’s going to be some conflicts and some drama, but ultimately, it’s the strength of the team and their friendship that helps them save the day.

Originally posted by ladyofacat

Originally posted by fyeahsailormoon

Magical girls don’t always start off as friends-in fact, they sometimes start off as annoyances at best and flat-out adversaries at worst-but there are few things that bring people together quite as well as having to save people (or the city or the earth or the universe or all of space and time; you get the idea).  

Originally posted by sylneon

Originally posted by chatnoirs-baton

But despite the task of working together to save the day, the friendships in magical girl animes are always realistic. As I said, magical girls don’t always get along with one another. Becoming a magical girl is rarely a choice; it’s typically the result of some outside circumstance such as a perceived aptitude for being a hero, an accident, or a grand destiny, and as a result, the chosen girls are very different types of people with different personalities, motives, and attitudes towards their new role.

Originally posted by madokamagicaruinedmylife

Originally posted by densetsu-sailor-moon

The resulting clashes are typically the direct result of these differences, yet as the girls work more and more as a team, these conflicts become less and less common. It’s hard to rely on someone to have your back without forming some sort of more personal bond, and eventually, even those magical girls who would rather work alone find themselves forming friendships with their fellow magical girls. There are still plenty of ups and downs, but that’s true of any friendship, magical or otherwise, and these shows aren’t afraid of portraying the good times along with the bad, giving viewers a well-rounded look at the personal relationship of magical girls. Yes, there may be more makeovers or shopping trips or sleepovers than other animes, but these types of scenes go to show that magical girls and other heroes have lives outside of saving the day, and they enjoy the time they have with their friends doing things they enjoy.

Originally posted by checkyesbraixen

Originally posted by theonewhohelptosetthesun

Originally posted by homurahyakuya

Originally posted by heartcoma

But that doesn’t mean these magical girls don’t enjoy kicking some bad guy butt. They’ve got superpowers and awesome weapons and they know how to use them. Magical girl animes are really at the top of the list in terms of girl power. These ladies can fight, they can strategize and plan, they can work as a team and take down any villain or monster that stands in their way, and they look cute while doing it.

Originally posted by weissrose

Originally posted by psychopass

Originally posted by nicorobin

In the world of superheroes, there are infinitely more men than women, leaving young girls at a bit of a loss in terms of role models. Magical girls provide female heroes for people to look up to and admire. Magical girls fight for a cause, they don’t compromise their values, and they’re willing to sacrifice themselves to save others. They’re just as capable and worthy of admiration as any guy hero, yet they’re often brushed aside because of their girlishness.

Originally posted by nenecchi

Originally posted by rusianmio

Originally posted by httptsunderethighs

Which is really a shame, because these magical girls are proof that you can be girly and still totally kick butt. Whether it’s straight-up physical combat, mastery of weapons-everything from guns to swords to archery to a yoyo- or actual magical powers such as control over an element, these ladies are fearsome and powerful. 

Originally posted by ladynoir-aka-life

Originally posted by anime

Originally posted by every-rabbit-is-trans

But sometimes they’re powerful enough to hurt more than they help, particularly when it comes to getting hurt themselves. Magical girls sometimes find themselves in situations that their weapons and skills can’t overcome, and they must sacrifice some part of themselves, be it their magical girl status, a physical ability, or their humanity itself. These are frightening and painful decisions to make, yet magical girls never seem to back down from making them. They know what has to be done, and they’re willing to do whatever it takes to save the day. 

Originally posted by panzoom

Originally posted by asami-snazz

Originally posted by sirens-coven

Originally posted by homuraholic

Originally posted by rito2ru

Originally posted by yazzydream

Knowing that being a magical girl of any kind would have its downsides might deter some from accepting such a role, but those who do become magical girls always do so because they believe in what being a magical girl embodies. Even more, they have hope that their sacrifices and pain will make the world a better place. No matter how dark things may get, it seems like magical girls have an ability for endless hopefulness: hope that evil can be overcome, hope that people can change, hope that their choice to do the right thing will be enough.

Their hope is not always realistic and it’s not always rewarded, yet their unfailing willingness to hope for something better even when all seems lost is admirable. Just seeing magical girls pushing back against their enemies no matter what makes viewers believe that their own problems can be overcome. Even when everything seems to be falling apart, there’s hope that tomorrow will be better, and people have a tendency to forget that. Luckily we have characters like magical girls to remind us to be hopeful and to do whatever we can to bring hope to others.

Magical girl animes truly have a lot to offer everyone. There are complex characters, twisted and dramatic storylines, and epic fight scenes. Many of the shows have fantastic animation as well, along with great scores and visually-stunning transformation sequences.

Originally posted by mysweet-milkshake

Originally posted by purple-link-pone

Originally posted by lightgeline

Critics aren’t wrong when they say magical girl animes are usually fluffier and more lighthearted than other animes or other animated shows, but that’s not what makes these animes so good. These fluffy moments provide a brief respite between the truly hard choices, the sacrifices and the losses.

Magical girl animes show that girls can be just as good as the boys. They can be just as tough, just as powerful, just as heroic. And they can do it all while wearing a combat skirt and heels, something I’d love to see their male counterparts attempt. Magical girls and magical girl animes deserve the same acknowledgment and appreciation as their contemporaries for being unabashedly what they are: celebrations of the great things girls can do with hope, determination, and a bit of magic.

Originally posted by unicorns-ate-my-memories

i just really want to say mutual aid through the internet changes lives, not only does it save them, it creates things that people, especially poor people, never thought was possible. 

I’m so fortunate to live in a time where I was lucky enough to be seen by many people, who believe in me enough to try and get me back to school. I’m also fortunate enough to try and share this sight with other people.

Capitalism wants you to believe people are evil and only out for themselves, but it’s not true, we want to help each other. We do our best, and sometimes our best is good enough, and sometimes it falls short. Just because it falls short doesn’t mean most people don’t want to help, people care about each other.

WE care about each other, and it’s just amazing to be able to see it first hand, I know it’s easy to say when you’re receiving help, but I want to help as many people as I can, and I know so many of you all do as well.

Together we can change lives, together we do change lives, we even change the world. I know some of you think it’s a stretch, but we do, mutual aid is a powerful thing. crowdfunding, paypal donations, youcaring, kickstarter, these things have provided people educations, they have provided them mobility devices, they have provided them life saving medications, they have paid for funerals, they have helped people build inventions that improve our world that never would have happened had they not been financed by the world. 

Now these are not the end, we can still do better, we can create better ways for people to provide for others, we just need time and to think about how to do this. I believe most people are willing to help all if they are simply given the means to help.

Do not believe people do not care. People care very much, many just don’t know how to show it, or have the means to provide others with the care they need. But people care. You are not alone, we are not alone, and the more we invest in each other, the better the world will become for all. 

Pins and Needles (Negan x Female)

Summary: She’s always been invisible to Negan, but when she agrees to become his wife to get medication to control her pain, she sets out to make him finally see her.

Characters: Negan x Female

Word Count: 3,871

Warnings: NSFW, Smut, Fluff and Swearing

Author’s Note: This fic was requested by @dicktator who sent:

I was wondering if I could get a fic with Negan x Chronic pain /fibromyalgia sufferer? I suffer fibromyalgia, and I haven’t found many fics I can relate in that aspect. Can be whatever you want, smut, fluff, whatever!

Okay so I didn’t know that much about fibromyalgia before writing this fic, but I love a challenge! I did some research, and I hope this turned out okay. I had a ton of fun writing it and learned a lot! @dicktator if this isn’t to your liking or it’s not accurate please let me know and I will write you another fic.

Thanks a bunch to @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash and @ashzombie13 for being my beta readers!

I am always happy to hear what you think! Shoot me a message and tell me what you thought!

Originally posted by negandarylsatisfaction

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when the 12th house is not so good ; our tough karmic lessons

the only interpretation that led me to really understand the twelfth house was through alyssa sharpe. i love poetic description about the 12th house and i think that it’s fairly fitting for what it encompasses and symbolizes, but it never hits me in a way that causes me to really feel it. what i interpreted of her video on the twelfth house is that it is a house of self-sabotage, where we feel compelled to restrict ourselves, and where we feel viscerally wronged in our lives and personality (whether this belief is valid or not- and plenty often, it is not). this is a house that is draped in neptune flow, so whatever we find in this house is adorned with delusion and false expectation. we do not feel the reality of what is in the twelfth house and it is something we must teach ourselves throughout our whole life. we must undo the disillusionment we have given ourselves with planets in this house and & understand how to cut through its cunning escapism to look at things how they really are.

sun in the 12th house: self-sabotage in the ego. individuals with this placement often feel like their ‘true’ self was never allowed to shine in childhood or adolescence, and as a result these are very fragile & introspective people. others might feel like they are walking on eggshells around these people because oftentimes this placement indicates an easily wounded individual. every word that is not positive is felt as an attack to this person. the lesson with the sun in twelfth house is to assert their personality, and learn criticism is necessary for growth and not an attack on the individual.

moon in the 12th house: the thoughts and emotions of the individual feel invalid in this house, and through feelings of perhaps desperation or a demand to feel rational, in-control, or on the other extreme of the spectrum, just noticed, this placement can indicate either extreme coping/burying mechanisms of the emotions, or bursts of energy and rage and instability in an effort to be seen. balance is needed in this house, and a support system of people who will assure them of the validity of their feelings and help them express them in healthy ways. a danger of this house might be self-medicating, and this must be worked on as well.

mercury in the 12th house: it is not uncommon for those with mercury in twelfth not to trust their instincts, for they are not confident enough in their mental capabilities to steer them correctly. they may look to others for guidance and acceptance, validating what they have to say. similar to a retrograde mercury, this is a placement that causes the native to over-critically examine each word to come out of their mouth, so much so that they may not say hardly a thing. on the other hand, they may feel compelled to say too much in search of anyone to listen and pay attention to their words. the mind may be clouded by nothing but their own doubt, and through learning to value one’s thoughts does the mind begin to achieve clarity.

venus in the 12th house: the romantic endeavors in the life of this person feels invisible or vastly under-appreciated. this may also hold true for someone with taurus or libra on the twelfth house cusp. these people can often feel victimized in relationships or they attract people who feel they need to be ‘saved’. on the flip side, they might feel like they need to be saved. the potential to lose yourself in a partner is high here, and one might need to learn more about themselves, their tastes, and what they need from a partner through relationships. one must learn to assert themselves in their romance + creative life, and also to avoid relationships where there is an imbalance of power or support.

mars in the 12th house: cyclical events of repressing one’s anger and, after torturing oneself for too long, explodes in a mess of outward and inward verbal destruction. insecurity in themselves is common, as they feel they cannot assert themselves; they may allow people to walk all over them for fear of standing up for themselves. but again, when they have reached their breaking point, they can truly explode with every word they have wanted to say for months, cutting deep both within the native themself and to the person at which it is directed. since this is a particularly extreme planet placement for the twelfth house, the journey to understanding yourself and finding out how to stand on your own feet must be a gentle, forgiving process to achieve balance between buried and volcanic emotions.

jupiter in the 12th house: this is thought of by many (including myself) as a ‘guardian angel’ placement. some idealize this placement; to me, it is ironic that such is the case because blind optimism can be a trait of this placement. not in a traditional sense, but rather of one failing to set in place a set of checks and balances for jupiter’s unyielding desire to expand and declare philosophy. as such, those with this placement may feel rather attacked when suggested to view the world with a more critical eye. as stated above, wrapping neptune delusion around jupiter viewpoint can cause some harsh extremes when viewing others’ morals and decisions, so a lesson here would be to double-check yourself. open your mind and allow yourself to be more willing to hear other viewpoints, and be open to thinking you might even be wrong about some things.

saturn in the 12th house: can indicate an individual who simply cannot ask for help. in times of hardships or situations where one is burdened with responsibility, the native may evade from these troubles and instead isolate themselves. it may be difficult for this individual to really get in touch with themself in introspective or spiritual senses. in an attempt to have control over their emotions, they may get easily overwhelmed. in a broad, general sense, saturn in twelfth house can indicate persistent feelings of guilt without being able to articulate or solve it. opening up is a necessity with this house, to accept responsibility in order to deal with life healthily, to be honest and objective with the self, and to challenge the harsh standards one may have put on themself.

uranus in the 12th house: the genius and innovation of uranus, in this house, does not reveal itself except for in times of deep introspection and staggering personal overhaul. i saw the phrase ‘the closet rebel’ tacked to this placement, and it is valid. these individuals want to be extraordinary, but an internal (sometimes external) force makes them feel as though their gifts are sabotaged. the need to be great is shoved deep inside, often due to feeling that their individuality and ideas do not deserve to be brought to light. an embrace of their own unique strangeness is needed to learn from this house in order to realize the true potential of their ideas.

neptune in the 12th house: an atlas complex is found with neptune in the twelfth house. this individual feels so compelled to help everyone around them, they can be delusional of how much energy they can afford to bleed out. as a result, there are potentially persisting feelings of guilt or a loss of identity. spreading oneself too thin is a common potential for those with this placement, and as a result they may self-medicate through escapism or self-destructive acts to deal with the confusion, emptiness, or guilt they may feel. one most view the subconscious objectively, if only to understand their limits.

pluto in the 12th house: highly resistant to transformation. heavy changes in the life of this person are met with hesitance and fear as opposed to a healthy understanding. this individual may even exacerbate their problems or resist growth with unhealthy coping mechanisms; the reality of change means harsh introspection and uncovering harsh truths about the self, and they don’t want this! those with this placement need to learn to bite the bullet and discover the things in their life that are hindering their growth and deal with it healthily in order to move forward.

Jumin Secret Ending

Okay so a while ago, I was having many deep and meaningfuls with the lovely @ellieartcave and we both emphatically agreed that there was something sorely lacking in Mystic Messenger… an ending where V lived. While she came up with something different but just as awesome, for me the only thing that made sense and still work canonically is for the other Deep Route boy- my baby Juju- to have a secret ending.

Here are the very rough, very vague notes that I’ve taken in regards to what I was planning to do over the span of 7-10 chapters… but with what seems to be the V route/content coming up… I felt that my story would no longer be necessary… but I still wanted to share it :)   

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Against The Ropes: Arrow 6x02 Review (Tribute)

Arrow delivers another strong episode with “Tribute.” We are on a roll! As I’ve said, I enjoy Oliver most when he’s up against the ropes and punching his way out. In “Tribute” Oliver is fighting against three heavy weights: Samandra, William and Anatoly. He’s not the only one backed into a corner though. John Diggle is too.

Let’s dig in…

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