also yesterday I met the weeknd with my sister and the first thing my sister does is turn to his bodyguard and say OHMY GOD you’re big rob! you used to be the jonas brothers’ security guard! and abel was like I knew someone would recognise him!!!!!!!!!!!
- in a constant loop between “you know what FUCK SOCIETY I WILL LIVE MY LIFE HOWEVER I WANT AND DO WHATEVER I WANT” and “i still lowkey want to please people around me and not cause too much conflict tho”
- that thing when an ESFP starts describing a situation and they play out all people in it and they do it SO GOOD and it’s SO FUNNY do they all do that
- at the centre of attention is where they will be
- somehow doesn’t exactly belong to any group but is considered a part of every group
- me: oh yesterday I’ve met /that person you have no chances of knowing/
ESFP: ooooOOOH I KNOW THEM
- is never home but somehow manages to sleep?????
- BEST LITERARY TASTES. If ENFP tells you to read that book you go read that book I’m telling you
- “and they told me to do it but you know it’s stupid so i’m not gonna do it”
- can be super annoyed by people they love, but remains loyal to their group
- angry with all their body, vivid gestures included. generally they are moving all the time.
- somehow pretty charismatic and it looks like they feel easy in a leader position
- life isn’t a competition EXCEPT FOR WHEN IT IS
- i know only one and they are the class president somehow??????
- “WHEN I SEE MY MOTHER CRY I’M READY TO KILL SOME FUCKERS RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW”
- i mean puns, ready to write to you at 3 AM just to proudly write a pun they’ve just come up with
- oh no you are sad??? it’s okay they will bake cookies or smh
- the more personal conversation gets the more “lmao” there is
- you can say when they feel happy to be around you and it’s just so adorable
- they are so smart & try to act like they aren’t & everyone can see they are smart anyway so you failed, entp
- entp: i’m going to try doing that new thing and it will be awesome and i will love it!
entp, later: it sucks
entp, even more later: NO YOU KNOW IT WAS COOL ALL ALONG
- *drinks awful juice for the first time* *eats awful meal for the first time* “ohhh it’s… pretty good!”
- really happy to be a part of some group but won’t say it out loud
- “and it was THEN when my Fe destroyed me!!”
- looks pretty egocentric & has the lowest self-esteem around
- “if I don’t like it I won’t do it, it’s just that easy”
- they are all attention whores (me too, infps)
- w r i t i n g
- SO LOYAL LIKE IF AN ISTP LIKES YOU THERE’S LIKE 0.000001% CHANCE THAT THEY WILL EVER LET YOU GO
- after reading this will probably try explaining to me why the math comparison was wrong and didn’t fit
- have such a hard time expressing their feelings
- if they like you and they can talk to you about their day they are so happy? just talk about what they were doing, really.
- “i feel bad? well i guess i will just bottle it up forever”
- can be rly rly quiet & needs a lot of alone time
- there’s objective logic everywhere just let me find it logic is my bitch
- they will be frustrated if you don’t make sense to them but they will try to understand - if not because they like you then at least for science reasons because “what is that wild creature and why do they act like that, i must observe”
- “sarcasm is the only way I speak”
- I LOVE
- when I start talking to an INTP the 7 hours long conversation is almost guaranteed
- they seem so genuinely interested in what you have to say and ask questions and stuff & what they say makes you genuinely interested as well because they have such an interesting knowledge on subjects you’ve never thought about
- “on the other side tho”
- on most subjects it’s really easy to convince them because they are always open to see the other side’s point of view
- usually remembers all you’ve told them but always asks if they remember correctly
- intp: OKAY I MADE UP MY MIND
intp, a day later: ON THE OTHER SIDE,
- “look at that dog!”
- mood swings
- so adorable just let me hug them all
- takes care of your shit since you’ve met them
- “NO YOU KNOW WHAT. I’M NOT DOING THIS SHIT FOR THEM THIS TIME. THEY WILL HAVE TO MANAGE IT ON THEIR OWN. I’M DONE HELPING THEM. *does this shit for them because of course they won’t manage it on their own so someone has to*”
- saves the world since they were born
- will try to help, joke about how they failed to help, beat themselves internally over how they failed to help
- OKAY TIME FOR ANOTHER SELF-DEPRACATING JOKE
- you: *starts feeling bad*
INFJ, a second later, out of nowhere: hey are you okay?
- MAKES PLANS. SO MANY PLANS. HOW CAN YOU MANAGE ALL THESE PLANS.
- “i’ve been planning on reading/watching it one day since 2004 but I haven’t found any time since then”
- “my Fe can tolerate your stupidity but my Ni-Ti is so done”
- always done with humanity
- *snarky commentary*
- “so usually when I wake up I have a strict plan of how this day is going to look like and it’s extremely pissing off when something doesn’t go according to that plan”
- ISTJ: *is doing homework for ten hours*
me: do you maybe want to—
ISTJ: NO I WON’T COPY OFF YOUR HOMEWORK I’M NOT WEAK
- somehow really wants to show you that you are important to them, even if they are awkward with feelings
- that smile they have when they talk about people they love doing stuff
- also that excited voice they have while doing so
- “I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND. HOW CAN YOU JUST… NOT BE PREPARED.”
- their anger is so cold and so visible
- some values are not to be touched!
- really really REALLY cares about people they like
- is really sensitive for their loved ones’ pain and really awkward when trying to comfort them but boy do they try
- that person that will come back for you after the group wanders off and you are left behind
- INTJ, about really hard situations they’ve been through: “this wasn’t such a big deal tho, I mean eh, it’s over now”
- “HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SO STUPID I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND”
- ignorance pisses them off even more than it pisses off other human beings
- it’s Monday and my INTJ dad calls me when I’m at school.
INTJ: hey, I have something important to tell you.
me: sure, what?
INTJ: could you pick up [your sister] from school-
INTJ: –on Friday?
- “you know I just… don’t like it when something doesn’t go according to my plan”
- will plan everything for the trip before you try helping
There’s nothing unusual about this particular Tuesday. He wakes up in the abandoned warehouse he’d claimed in North Carolina, on top of an old flea-bitten mattress, and he’s wallowing in his usual morning routine of self-doubt and questioning his life choices. It isn’t until he realizes the sad, pitiful meowing is not coming from the feral cats he tries to feed with what meager income he can get doing odd jobs, but is in fact, coming from himself.
He is a cat.
Derek takes stock of the situation. This must be that witch he met yesterday; he’d politely asked her to move on from this town because her anti-aging potions were giving the neighborhood ladies glow-in-the-dark hair and it wouldn’t be long until she attracted attention– of the local supernatural enforcement kind, meaning packs, meaning emissaries, meaning Derek would have to move on. Yet again. She’d shot some spells at him, ruined his favorite leather jacket, and chased him through the woods where there were a startling amount of hidden cameras. Derek then had to avoid several bungling FBI agents and led them on a merry chase through the woods until losing them, then he headed back to town.
The worst part was that whatever spell it was, Derek couldn’t shift into a wolf. He’d forgotten about it once he got to safety, and there didn’t seem to be any other effects of the spell, but…