they look like fags

my favorite things said by mickey milkovich

“fuck you, fuck you, and especially fuck you”
“what do we look like a couple of fags for sale to you?”
“well this aint macy’s bitch, and you aint window shopping”
“im fucking gay, a big ol’ mo"
“like stab that fat fucking mick who keeps tryna steal my jello!”
“rise and fucking shine, cinderella”
“line up a shot for the Abe Lincoln of mouth whores”
“fuck off”
“you callin’ me gay?”
“christ, close the door, nobody wants to see that mandingo shit!”
“they’re not climbing Everest, they’re climbing dick”
“you come all the way down here to talk about my pubes?”
“those fingers go anywhere near that cock, i'mma break every knuckle in your hand! all fifteen of em’.”
“you wanna chit-chat more or you wanna get on me?”

i love shameless more than i love my family holy shit.

Defence (MET with Reader) Happy 100!

Originally posted by bekadmfb

(( gif not mine - it’s cute wtf ))

(A/n): Honest to god, this came to me at about 1:00am this morning and thought maybe I’d use it as a 100+ FOLLOWER CELEBRATION OML

Summary: The four of you were in a park for another one of Mark’s fan get togethers. While playing a game with the audience, an asshat walks past and says something rude. In retaliation, (Y/n) says some colourful words of her own; standing up for her greatest friends.



Honestly, in some way or another, L.A was bound to be hot. Standing out in an open park didn’t do much for that. Neither did (Y/n)’s shiny (f/c) top.

Though, it was closer to evening than the last time they all were out, making everything just a bit better. The sky was beautiful and just the right temperature that helped everyone relax.

“I don’t understand!” Ethan cried “What is this?!”

“It’s your demise!” (Y/n) called back cockily, jumping around on the grass.

It made the crowd giggle; bringing a chain reaction of (Y/n) smiling back at them.

“What!!?” The blue haired boy spun around and pointed at the people whom were watching you four participate in all sorts of challenges “Don’t laugh! No!”

But they only laughed more, this time joined by (Y/n), Tyler and tied together with Mark’s own deep chuckle.

“Alright, It’s simple Ethan, gosh.” Mark confirmed and took in a large breath “You fucking climb up Tyler and sit on his shoulders and (Y/n) will be on mine and you two will FIGHT to the death! Whomever gets pushed from the others shoulders first, loses!” he finished, sputtering out his breath.

“I feel cheated, because Mark might kick me.” Tyler whined.

(Y/n) laughed with the crowd “Well, I feel cheated because Mark is short.” they said.

“Okay, whatever.” the brunette called “Just get on my shoulders, dick sucker.”

So enough, both Ethan and (Y/n) got into position and the audience began to count down.


“I don’t feel safe.” (Y/n) commented as Mark wobbled slightly.


“I feel I need an adult…” Ethan demanded. His hands were in a death grip on Tyler’s shoulders.


“Wait, where will we lan–!” (Y/n) began to ask, only shortly cut off by not the crowd, but instead by a lone voice.

“This looks like a waste of daylight, how fucking gay.” they snickered “Fags.”

Everyone dropped to a deathly silence.

The crowd started to ‘boo’ quietly and mumble among themselves. (Y/n) was the first to actually break the quiet air.

“Who the hell was that?” (Y/n) snapped, twisting a bit to jump down from Mark’s shoulders. He was careful to let them down lightly.

“The pack whore defends them. That’s rich.”

They were able to single out a man behind of the grouped fans. He was actually across the road.

“HEY! FUCK YOU!” (Y/n) started.

Tyler’s face instantly looked concerned as he looked to Mark. Though, Ethan was never present for any of the youtuber’s angry outbursts before; he was already taken aback.

“AT LEAST THEY’RE DOING SOME FUCKING GOOD.” They continued. (Y/n)’s voice seemed to shake with resentment, gaining in volume by the second “THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO SHOW FOR IS HOW NOT-VALUABLE YOU ARE TO SOCIETY.

The people cheered for (Y/n).

Everyone present was either looking at the delivery of (Y/n)’s speech or the man across the street looking scattered.


People who were passing by on their own business began to stare. Impressed, Mark still decided they’ve done enough.

(Y/n)’s posture showed their obvious readiness to fight. They began to get antsy and took a step forward.

From there Mark was quick to step up to them and lace their arms behind their back. Using one hand to hold them tight to (Y/n)’s back and the other to solidly cover their mouth.

(Y/n) jumped and twitched in his grip, yells now muffled into his hand.

Tyler put himself in front of the two, effectively blocking (Y/n)’s view. All the while, the crowd cheered brilliantly. Ethan encouraged them with screams of his own.

The unknown man now admittedly frightened, took this his chance to flee. The fans changing to ‘boo’ him off.

Slowly afterwards, (Y/n) calmed enough for Mark to uncover their mouth.

“Sorry…” they apologized simply.

Mark released their arms as well.

Ethan didn’t waste time taking a running start to hug them greatly.

“Thank you!” he laughed.

Once more, everyone collectively cheered. Everyone ran to hug (Y/n). Mark, Tyler, everyone.

They couldn’t help but let a hearty laugh slip their pale lips.

Once all of them parted again, (Y/n) was beaming brightly.

“Thank you,” Ethan repeated “You have fucking balls.” he laughed along with everyone else.

“Well sometimes I have to defend my people,” (Y/n) responded, a silly tone prominent behind her words “right!?”

The cheers were as loud as they could have ever been. No one would surely be forgetting this soon, it would be all over youtube in a matter of hours. But, all that mattered right now, was getting back to the challenge and having themselves a good time.



But, in other words. This was a small something I put into place for this occasion and I love it. Also, as of now, I don’t have any requests; so don’t shy from sending one of your own.

the ghost of you (dylan/eric)

Words: 2640

Trigger Warnings: idk i cant think of any???

Request: Hiya! Would you do a imagine where it’s 2017 and the reader is a teenager going to columbine, and lives in one of their old houses, and doesn’t really pay attention, but the ghost of Eric and Dylan see her and fall in love? I know it’s a weird request but please consider????💘💘💘💘love ur account!!

A/N: fukc this is so badddddd im soRRY!!!!

You crashed onto your bed, sighing angrily and chewing gum.

“I hate this fucking house mom! Go choke!” You shouted cheerily at your mom, who rolled her eyes in the doorway.

“You’ll learn to love it, m’kay?”

“No, fuck you mom! Literally suck on a chode!” You smiled, flipping her off as she left the room. With a snarl on your face, you pulled out your phone from your pocket, flipping on your stomach and opening up snapchat.

Your friend had messaged you, which you hadn’t responded to for three hours. You hadn’t responded to anybody for three hours, you were to busy bitching in the car about how much you hated moving and how you would rather kill yourself than move to fucking Colorado.

Keep reading

Melbourne Alpha's Lesson


Not having heard from MelbourneAlpha for a few months, I started hanging around the park where we first met hoping to run into him. He’s a busy, important Man, and I know he is a true Alpha who can have any fag he wants, so I understand why he doesn’t always hit me up. I mean he pretty much can step outside his door and find a fag willing to serve him within a few blocks without really trying hard to look. Have you seen the Man? He gorgeous.
So, hoping that he hadn’t forgotten me since I’m just one of many fags to him, I waited in the park several days in the bathroom. At one point I even had another Man ask me why I was there and tried to get me to service him, but I held out saying that I had another Alpha I was focused on and he had to be my top priority right now. I explained I didn’t want him to happen in on me being used by another Man and then be turned off from wanting me in the moment.
So a few days passed, and finally Melbournealpha was there. He walked in hot from running, with beads of sweat running down the fur on his chest. He looked at me and didn’t say anything. I got down on my knees in case he needed servicing right then, but he just walked past me to the urinals and released himself. Had he forgotten me entirely? I mean I can understand that. He can have his pick of the litter, so why would I stand out?
He was about to walk out, and I still hadn’t made eye contact (he’s just too beautiful to look at sometimes), when he turned back at me and said, “be at my place tomorrow evening at 8. I’d advise you not be late.”
He had remembered me!! And I was invited over!! Here I was hoping maybe I was worthy enough to lick the sweat from his chest, or perhaps be invited to clean his pits, but he was actually inviting me over. Maybe even to give me that incredible gift of his load. He’s bred me once before, and it was the highlight of my year.
So, of course, I couldn’t sleep that night with the anticipation. I actually left work early the next day. I had noticed on his gift list he had a new jock he wanted from Amazon, and I intended to tribute when I showed up. I knew where I could buy the same thing at the local store. I went, picked up my gift, and headed home to get ready.
I arrived at his place at 6, but made myself scarce in his neighborhood so I wouldn’t disturb him. At exactly 8:00 I rang his bell with gift in hand. Suddenly my palms got sweaty. What if I looked too desperate? Or needy? I came with a gift, did that make it weird? He opened the door wearing a suit from work. I could not believe how handsome he looked in his dark grey skin suit. He had on a crisp white shirt, and a tie the color of the sky. He told me to come in and to take my clothes off at the door. I handed him the gift, bashfully, and said, “SIR, this is for you from your registry. I hope it isn’t weird that I brought you something. You’re just so kind to invite me over that I wanted to show my appreciation.” And he laughed, and said “boy, it’s not weird, it’s sweet of you. And I’m glad you did this because it helps me understand something that I’ll explain later to you this evening. Now take your clothes off and go to the bedroom and sit on the floor. Don’t touch anything in there.” Of course that would be his reaction, I don’t know why I expected anything different. He’s a good Man, and understands I’m a fag trying to figure out how best to serve Men, so he’s so kind to take time and help me. I was afraid he’d laugh at me for bringing a gift, afraid it might be uncomfortable for him to accept it in person. Instead, he was gracious and kind.
I went to the bedroom, hoping that at some point soon, he would come in and fuck me. But, to my surprise, there was another guy in the room. Some fellow fag brother who had been hog tied, and left there. I said “hello,” but he didn’t answer. Perhaps he had been instructed not to. I kneeled to the floor, and suddenly realized why Melbourne Alpha had told me not to touch anything. He didn’t want me to untie my brother. The fag looked like he was in no distress, and I know Melbournealpha enough to know that this is a situation he had designed, and the fag was okay with it (not that it would matter if he weren’t, he’s a fag).
After a few minutes I heard the door buzz, and I heard another Man come in. I noticed the bound fag’s eyes light up with delight. I heard drinks being served in the next room, and after about 15 mins, both Men walked in. Melbournealpha has changed. He was wearing the jock I had bought, and black boots. The other man was still in street clothes. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him. Melbournealpha walked up behind me and started rubbing my hair like one would to a dog. I sat there, Melbournealpha touching me, sending chills down my spine from his warm hands, and we watched as the other Man started taking his clothes off. And holy fuck was he hot. Melbournealpha must attract other hot Alphas to him if this is one of his friends.
The other Man got down to just his boots, walked over to me, and told me to start cleaning his boots, at which point Melbournealpha grabbed my back of my neck and shoved me to the floor, spit in my face, and told me to get to work. And I did!!! I took the Alpha spit from my face and rubbed it on the Man’s boot, and licked it up. Then started spit shining his boots with my mouth and my own spit. At some point he realized it wasn’t punishment for me, but a great honor to be shared like this, and he took his boot and stepped on my face. He pressed down really hard, because later when I would get home, I’d still have track marks on my face.
Then both Men pulled me back into sitting position and told me to stay there.
Then they went to the bound fag, released his hands and feet from being tied together, but left the rest of the restraints on. Then, they had their way with him. And I mean that fag couldn’t have enjoyed it more. I was so happy I got to watch Melbournealpha and his friend being taken care of sexually. They used the ever living hell out of that boy’s ass. Each of them bred him twice, and they took turns pissing down his throat.
When they were done, Melbournealpaha walked the other Man out, then came back and released the other fag from his rest of his ropes. The fag got dressed and left, leaving me on the floor naked and Melbournealpha in boots and the jock I had just given him. He had covered his cock back up, but the head was peaking out the side. He noticed I couldn’t stop looking at it, and he readjusted, saying “we need to talk about something serious, do I need to get dressed so you can pay attention, boy? Or can you look me in the eyes while I’m all but naked?” I said “no, SIR, I can pay attention, I’m sorry. It’s just your cock is so beautiful.”
He sat on the edge of the bed, looked at me, and in a very serious tone said, “do you know why I told you to be here tonight?”
I said, “no SIR.”
“Do you know who the other Man is that was here?”
“He looks familiar, but I can’t place him, SIR.” I was starting to feel so stupid.
“He’s the Man you denied servicing into he park bathroom because you were waiting on me.”
It dawned on me! “Oh!!!! Oh, yes he was. How did you know about that, SIR?”
“Well, how do you think I knew?”
“I’d imagine he’s a friend and told you.”
“You’re correct,” he said. “He mentioned what you looked like and I knew who it was. But here’s the thing, boy, you should have serviced him regardless. If I want you, I’ll take you, it doesn’t matter if you’re servicing another Man. It’s not a deal breaker. I don’t go to that park anymore, and I never would have seen you. And I brought you here tonight to witness another fag being used. Had you simply serviced my friend that day, that could have been you with 4 Alpha loads in your ass and 2 loads of Alpha piss in your stomach. Instead you had to sit here and watch someone else get what probably would have gone to you. How did it make you feel watching another fag being used instead of you?”
By this point I was beet red from embarrassment. “Well, watching him be of service to you two was actually very exciting. While I wished it was me, the simple fact that you both were serviced so well made me happy.”
Melbournealpha smiled. “See, you’re starting to understand. And that’s why I wore the jock you gave me. It was a pleasant surprise, by the way. But you needed to not be embarrassed at offering me gifts. If you have the means to do so, you should always offer me tribute. There is no shame. Just like there is no shame in you servicing another Man who needs you if I happen to walk in on it. I know other Men need the services of fags.”
I said, “yes SIR. And thank you so much for this lesson.”
“Get dressed and go home, I have a long day tomorrow.”
I got up, went to the front door, and I put my clothes back on. I noticed the tie Melbournealpha had been wearing with the suit was sitting on top of my clothes. I folded it up, placing it on the table behind the sofa since it was closest to me.
Just as I was about to walk out, Melbournealpha came into the room and said, “bring that tie back with you next week when you come back. You’re gonna need it. Same day. Be here 30 minutes earlier.”

Super male and super gay

I just read your “i’m a bad transsexual” post and bruh I am right there with you. I don’t feel the dysphoria either. I am pretty comfortable in my girl body. I hate my boobs and i think vaginas are super weird but i’m girly and feminine and what not. HOWEVER i identify as a gay male. My “inside self” as i like to call is super male and super gay. I want to date and have sex with other gay males (or bi or pan males) but i am afraid that no cis male gays will be into me. I’m afraid of looking like a poser or a fag hag too. i am pre everything at the moment but am going to be getting on T in the spring and having top surgery next. I hope this helps me but i am worried about all my girly clothes and interests ??? i am struggling. please, if you find any answers or things that bring comfort  please share them with me. lots of love. Logan.

Seventh Heaven

Oh Raphael. Guardian angel. In love and crime
all things move in sevens. seven compartments
in the heart. the seven elaborate temptations.
seven devils cast from Mary Magdalene whore
of Christ. the seven marvelous voyages of Sinbad.
sin/bad. And the number seven branded forever
on the forehead of Cain. The first inspired man.
The father of desire and murder. But his was not
the first ecstasy. Consider his mother.

Eve’s was the crime of curiosity. As the saying
goes: it killed the pussy. One bad apple spoiled
the whole shot. But be sure it was no apple.
An apple looks like an ass. It’s fags’ fruit.
It must have been a tomato.
Or better yet. A mango.
She bit. Must we blame her. abuse her.
poor sweet bitch. perhaps there’s more to the story.
think of Satan as some stud.
maybe her knees were open.
satan snakes between them.
they open wider
snakes up her thighs
rubs against her for a while
more than the tree of knowledge was about
to be eaten…she shudders her first shudder
pleasure pleasure garden
was she sorry
are we ever girls
was she a good lay
god only knows

© Patti Smith

Lisa Lyon with snake © Robert Mapplethorpe Foundation

“Is your name really Izzie?”

She paused in the act of lighting her cigarette and looked up at him, one sardonic eyebrow raised in a challenge. She laughed lightly at his expression, the sound muffled by her fag. “Why do you ask?”

“You don’t look like an Izzie to me.”

She removed her cigarette from between her lips and threw her head back with a proper laugh, the sound of her amusement crisp and effusive in the warm night air. 

“No? I don’t suppose I do. Tell me, Sherlock… What do I look like to you?”

– Excerpt from Beautiful Children, Chapter III: Dinner

Scared Straight (facesitting story)

Meet Mike a 15 year old “thug”. Now I say “thug” because only thing he know about being a thug is listening to rap music. Mike is a bout 5’7 135lbs of pure douche. A white kid born in the suburbs but for some reason walks around like he is the biggest threat to mankind.  He steals from stores, been to juvenile 10 and takes a lot of pride in that, and breaks in to his neighbors houses. And he does it all with his little sidekick  Evan  also 15yrs old slightly smaller than Mike standing about 5’6 130lbs Asian kid who grew up with money but is rebelling from “the man”. Evan and Mike met in juvenile when they were 10 and have been in and out since. Neither of their parents know what to do with these kids. The constantly get in fights with of course (the kids they can bully and beat) and walk around like they are invincible.  Mike’s dad and Evan’s Dad talk to eachother after watching and episode of Scare Straight. Where they take these knucklehead kids an put them in jail with hard core inmates for a day or two. They looked around to see if they could find a program like this and sure enough they did. Except Cameras didn’t follow them around.  The program was in the innercity It was called “We’ll Fix Em” . Testimony of parents on the internet were all praising the program saying their kids went in terrible but came out never wanting to experience anything like that again and immediately started to straighten up. Excelling in good grades and behavior.  The Dad’s instantly signed up there kids. They didn’t tell their wives because they knew they would not approve.
The Day of they Dad’s tell each of their sons that they are rewarding them buy taking them out since its been a week since they hadn’t had to get them from juvenile.  As they were driving they pulled over to gas station both Dad’s got out of the car. Unknown to the kids it was all a set up. Soon as the Dad’s went into the store 2 huge bouncer guys came to both sides of the car opened it and before Evan or Mike could even try to fight back …they were instantly put into two huge mesh bags and pulled out the car only to be thrown into a near by van.  They hit the van floor with a thud laying on their backs both of them hit their heads and were slight disoriented. Then without warning what seemed liked to heavy giant size pillows landing on their chest and covered from their neck to their knees. The weight was so unbearable to the kids that they couldn’t even yell for help. All their energy went to breathing. They couldn’t figure out what was on top of them only that it was pinning them to the floor of the van and it was just enough weight on them to not crush them completely. They were stuck like that what seemed to be hours to finally they  felt the car stop. The weight lifted off them and they were relieved  to finally  get the full control of their lungs.  Before they knew the were being carried. They couldn’t see anything the mesh hole were so small it was like they weren’t there. It was obvious they were only there to not suffocate the ones in the bag. Shortly after they were dropped down on the ground again  but this time the bags were taken off them.  They got their first view of where they were. It was a big jail cell with only them to standing in it with a glass door preventing them to exit.  With a fairly large Mixed race guy outside the window.

Mike (trying to be the thug) Hey what do you think you muthafuckas are doing? You can’t keep us in here? Let us out or we’ll fuck you up and whoever ever brought us here.
Evan: Yea bitch. You better be luck your standing on the other side of the glass you cunt
Soon a speaker came on it was the Mixed Guy standing out side of the Glass. His name was Jordon he was the coordinator of this program. Jordon was 7ft 300lbs of pure man. Almost an olive color greek god. His body was in shape, and pecs were crazy, arms were huge and his lower half trumped that. His thighs could easily be twice the size of the little runts in the cell and that was just one thigh and those met up with the biggest bubble ass. Even from the front you could see his ass cheeks bulge out from the side in his khaki pants he was wearing which was barely containing his humongous backside
Jordon: Shut THE FUCK UP
His voice resonated so loud that it put a pause into the rant the kids were on.
Jordon: You little fuck think your tough huh. You aint shit. And by the time you leave here your gonna be on the best behavior of your lives.
Mike: Fuck you your fat fuck!! Look at your fucking tight ass pants don’t fit you FAT ASS. You pussy.  Come in here and we’ll see how tough you are
Evan: Hhaha. Yea bro he gotta be a pussy. How are you that big and scared to come and talk to us face to face. You a bitch. Let us out of here and we wont fuck your ass up later.
Jordon smiled at them and said: Ok you wanna see who’s a real bitch. Let’s see how long you last.
A buzzer sound went off and out of a back trapped door walked in to guys just as big as Jordon. One a was a big black dude 7’2 310 dark skin heavily tatted up thug name J-Ro. Huge upper body and once again an even bigger lower body. Legs and Ass so big that they had to custom make SWEAT Pants for him to wear and those still were tight on his ass. and Next to him was not as big but what he lacked in height he made up in width. He was 6’5 275 Puerto Rican guy name Chavez. He was built like a Running back majority of his weight was his base. He Butt came out so far it was almost like somebody attached on him and his thighs were like tree trunks. Especially to these little runts. He had on some Basketball trunks. Neither of these mega men had on underwear so even tho the kids weren’t gay they couldn’t help but notice when they walked towards them their thighs shake and their monster dicks swing back and forth.
Mike and Evan were taken back by these two guys that they almost stop talking shit. But Mike always being the tough guy
Mike: Hey Evan look more FAT ASSES!! Lol you guys are supposed to do what. You can’t fucking touch us bitch.
Evan: Where did you find these fuck up shaped guys. You guys look like fucking mutated humans look at how your built. Fags just like a bitch I watch on music videos.
Mike: I bet you hoe’s can twerk huh.
Jordon over the loud speaker “Have Fun Fellas” as he walked away. The boys for turned around to see him walk and for the first time caught a glipse on how big Jordon’s ass was. It was unreal. They both thought what the hell is this place. Why is everybody built like this. They both ran to the glass and banged on it
Both: Let us the fuck out of here. Hey fat ass come back here and get us out of here your fat fuck
They turned around to see the two giant size men now standing directly in front of them. Chavez was in front of Evan and J-Ro infront of Mike. Mike came to about J-Ro’s Stomach as he looked up he really saw that one of his legs are pretty much bigger than his whole body. And  Evan was dwarfed by the thickness of Chavez. From where the kids where standing in the front they could literally see both of these two men’s butt cheeks stick out from the sides and how big their bodies were period. The two men just stood their staring at them with the coldest stares.
Mike: What the fuck are you guy deformed or something.
Evan: Get the fuck away from. What are ya’ll gay or something.
Just then J-Ro spoke
J-ro: you hear that Chavez we must be deformed
Chavez: (laughs) Yea and we must be gay too huh. That hurts our feelings
J-Ro: Yea man lets leave.  These guys are too tough for us
Just then the giant men turned around and for the first time the boys could see how large their asses really were.  One of these mens cheeks were wider than both Evan and Mike combined.  As the two men Turned around even tho they were standing at slight distance their asses almost touched the two teens from sticking out so far. The Teens could smell their asses from where they were standing and instantly where disgusted.
Mike: Damn man get your Fat asses away from us they stink like shit
Evan: Do you guys no how to shower?
Mike got bold and decided to punch J-Ro right butt cheek and Evan Followed hitting Chavez in his ass too. As they made contact their hands sunk into their ass like their butt just absorbed the impact. Both of teens were stunned and didn’t know what to do.  J-Ro and Chavez looked at eachother and nodded and grinned evily and in swift motion backed all up squashing the boys against the glass with their mammoth asses. The teens didn’t know what happened until it was too late. They were now trapped inbtween both of these huge ass cheeks getting pulled deeper into there crack that seem to go on forever. From the other side of the glass it just looked like the two huge asses were trying to literally eat the kids. Their cheeks engulfed both tiny teens body so much that their torso and arms were being sucked into their asscrack and this was with pants on. Their cheeks touched the glass. The sight was almost like a pressed ham mooning prank against the glass from the other side except there are two bodies stuck in them. Unfortunately for Mike the loud mouth he had J-Ro who was 2 feet taller than him so his face was being sucked up his stinky ass too. Evan was doing to much better most of his face was being sucked In Chavez ass only his eyes and top of head weren’t. Evan was able to look over and see Mike virtually disappear as more weight was being pressed against him

J-Ro: He Vez remember he asked us of if we could twerk?
Chavez: haha. Yea lets show them.
The two men then bend down putting their hands on their knees. Which opened their ass crack slight and made the two teens sink deeper into their asses. Unfortunately this mad Even whole face now sink into Chavez ass in this position with the rest of his body. The two men began shaking their asses and laughing the whole time. Still pinning the two against the glass. The boys were freaking out.  They had done ass pranks to the people they bullied with their small butts but nothing like this. This was horrible and it smelled like crazy. They were able to catch breaths when the two giant ass separated and clapped back together on their puny bodies and faces. The guys kept this up for a few minutes and thought it was funny as hell. Then they stood back up and backed away from the squashing the kids on the wall. Only thing is they were stuck in between their asses . So the two giants walked around dragging them behind trapped between their butt cracks. Now they weren’t getting air the kids began to scream thinking they were gonna suffocate. The muffled sound felt good to the Big guys walked around with them trapped in their ass crack but they didn’t want them to pass out this was only the beginning. So the both reached back and pulled them out of their asses .The kids landed on their small butts with a thud and completely disoriented. Slowly their vision got unblurry and the two giants were standing over them looking at them
J-Ro: You think we finally shut these two up
Chavez: You know this goes.. that doesn’t happen until hours from now.
Chavez was right because sure enough
Mike: What the fuck was that you Fags. (trying to catch his breath)
Evan: Only girls would use their big asses like that. I knew you homos could twerk too. If that’s all you got then bring it on
Mike looked at Evan with a “shut up” look but couldn’t back down yet because he didn’t wanna seem weak.
Mike: Yea you fuck faces. You too aint nothing but a nigga and wetback.
This pissed the two Giant men off and immediately they grabbed each of them by the neck and lifted them off their feet.
J-Ro: What you call us white boy? See we were being nice because we knew you two phonies weren’t real threats.
Chavez: Yea but now you and  your little Asian friend here can get the real “fix a thug” treatment.
With that the two man tossed the boys on the two bed opposite of eachother on the walls. The two kids landed again on their backs and before they could get up both J-Ro and Chavez had leaped in the air and were coming down fast on the boys. All the teens saw where these two round masses of humongous flesh come crashing down on their chest. Both landed so hard it knocked all the air of the two teens. Evan and Mike thought they might of broken a rib how hard they landed on top of them. Luckily the beds were padded and so were the two huge asses on top of them although the weight was almost unbearable to the guys underneath it.  J-Ro’s and Chavez asses stretched from the kids thighs to the just below the kids faces.
Chavez: Oh I hope I didn’t break him
Laughing as he sat on top of Evan. Who was turning red from all the ass on top of him
J-Ro: Well I hope I did break mine
As he leaped and landed on Mike again causing mike to let out a faint yell of pain.
Mike struggling with all his might : Get……..Off….Me….Fat.  Amm
Before Mike could get it out J-ro and shifted slight putting PART of one of his cheeks to cover Mike’s mouth up to his nostrils.
J-Ro: That’s how we keep him quiet huh. Hows your’s doing Vez
Chavez looks down at Evan mouthing “Fuck You” to him
Chavez: This guys is a fighter let’s see if he likes this
Chavez up J-Ro and sled his whole ass over Evan’s face swallowing his head and face SIDEWAYS up his crack.  His left cheek was touching the bed on the other side of Evans head and his right cheek was still covering most his chest. From Evan’s Chin to the top of his head was now lost in Chavez asscrack in these basketball shorts which was the only thing stopping it from being even deeper
Mike cut his eyes over to see what happen to Evan.  And could see his head anywhere not even between Chavez thighs. All he saw was Evan lower body thrashing around  and his arms hitting Vez thigh and butt.
J-Ro: Hahaha Damn Vez that’s a good one. Let me try
Mike’s eyes got wide as he saw these massive booty cheeks slide over his face and like his friend was swallowed side straddle in the crack of this big black man’s larger than life booty
J-Ro: Ahh the screams feel good
Even tho in the room you couldn’t hear anything. Not even a muffled scream. The two giant asses had completely drowned out everything. The two guys sat on their runts face and laughed about it.
J-Ro: I gotta say I love this job
Chavez: Yea not bad for our community service huh?
J-Ro: Jordon had a good idea for this. Plus I was getting tired smothering the inmates hahah
Chavez: Me too.  Haha
The two were so in there conversations that they almost forgot they were sitting on the teens until they realized the trashing slowed
Chavez: Oh shit..
He and J-ro both slid back onto the kids chest. The teens slowly started coming to as they both slapped their faces to wake them up.
J-Ro: No no little bitch. Your not getting away that easy
Chavez: Was wrong man cant breathe huh?
Evan: (groggy) What are you…. Trying.. to.. Do. Kill us
Mike: (groggy) Suffocation … by… ass.. ..will get you..locked up
Chavez: Oh but we are already locked up.
J-ro: We came to teach you too a lesson. You wanna be hard and have everybody kiss your ass. Well show how it really  feels to kiss ass
Still trapped under the two. Struggling to breathe
Mike: You.. can’t ..Do..This..
J-Ro: Why not? Did you ask those people if you could break in their house”
Evan: Fuck them and Fuck that house and fuck you.
Chavez: And here I thought the white boy was the leader. Back under you go
Evan: Wait.. nooommmpphh….
Chavez slid back over on his face sitting harder this time
Mike watched again as the huge ass sat on top of his little friends face.
Mike actually laughed.
Mike: What you think this is supposed….to Break us?
J-Ro: Think?? Haha no I know it will. Trust me.
Just then J-Ro through his leg over Mikes tiny body straight out while the other leg straddle him on the floor. Mike Looked up and all he say was ASS and soo much he couldn’t even crane his neck enough to see around either cheek and now the weight was even more heavy.  J-Ro began to scoot back  it didn’t make to get closer to his face because even on his chest his ass spilled over barely touching mike’s face.
Mike: Wait…wait…wait
J-Ro: you though this was funny huh
Chavez had pulled Evan’s Face back out of his ass now and slid back down still cover the kids body. Booty spilling over on onside thight on the other side of his body and still heavy
Vez: Look at your friend. He thinks its funny? How about you?
Mike watched as the mountain of round ass cheeks encased in  sweats slowly started to  creep more and more on his face.  Until suddenly  J-Ro was sitting squarely on his face. Evan watched as his friend  disappeared into the huge ass. Nothing of his head could be seen and his thighs covered everything but his feet. His friend mike’s head and face had completely disappeared. J-Ro sat there without a care in the world.
Vez: See that kid. Now he’s gone hahaha. You wanna be next huh little punk. My ass is nice and smelly in these baskeball pants  I haven’t washed since I started this uhh teaching a month ago.
Evan didn’t know what to do. He was in shock still watching Mike. The way J-ro was seating all he could see was  Mike feet kicking just outside of his kneecap.
Vez: Oh your not so tuff now that your boy is vanished into my friends giant ass huh?
Then Vez Turned around like J-ro and sat on the kids chest facing his feet. Evan’s body once again suck into his crack. Vez slowly slid back up to his face and sat then slid back down… then back up  then back down. Evan pretty much became a little ass wipe for this massive thug. It was like watching a human thong being swiped in and out of his massive ass and he still had pants on. Finally he just sat square on his face. Now making even disappear completely…
The two big inmates laughed at the feeling of having these kids faces in their ass and not getting in trouble for it. It was a power to be able to dominate with the Ass they were blessed with. The laughed so hard that J-Ro farted and farted loud. So loud mike face and head viberated.
Chavez: DAmnnnn.. that was a good one. I can top it
Chavez who could make himself fart on cue did just that. A loud trumpet fart that  made Evan’s whole body shake. The two inamates then leaned over just enough so that their seats could breathe but still not leave the inside of their huge asses. The kids screamed but knew it was pointless. It was the worst smell they had ever smelt almost like they were being poisoned. It made them sick not to mention the smell of their asses. Apart them wished they just sit back down  so they couldn’t smell it anymore.
Mike: Oh God.. Oh God.. Ok Ok I give just get your fat fucking ass out of my face.
Evan: Please ok I’m sorry I’m sorry
Both talked into the huge ass hovering over
J-Ro: Now you promise to behave
Both teens: Yes yes…just get off us please
J-Ro and Chavez both knew they were just saying that to get off. They hadn’t even began to breaking process. Both Inmates got up as the teens laid their dazed.
Mike: I’m not gay but your asses are huge
Evan: I agree. I didn’t think a person could fit in there
Mike: Now get us out this place now. We apologized
Evan: Yea hurry up too.
The two Giant men turned and walked away talking to themselves to see if they had set a record for breaking a kid in place. While they were talking.

Mike: Hey Evan.. I don’t care how big these fags are any man gets hit in the nuts he’ll fold
Evan: Let’s sneak up behind them hit and then we can beat their asses while their injured
Mike: Bet
The two teens got up quietly ran up behind the two giants and struck both of them in the nuts. Only thing is they didn’t move away quick enough. The Two large men did fall but they dropped ass first on top of the teens squashing them on the hard floor with all their weight on top of their back. The teens where crushed to the floor so hard they were turning red. They now realized the guys hadn’t been using all of their weigh on them. The air was being squeezed out of them on this hard floor as the two giants held their nutz and sat fullweight on top of the teens. Not only could the teens not breathe they felt there torso being sucked into those deep huge ass cracks again. The two Big booty men were now pissed off. Its not time to really break them.
They regain their composure and realized they were sitting on the kids squashing air out of them. So they held them down and stood up pulling them from their cracks. Lifted the half dead kids up like rag dolls and tossed back on the bed. The kids were so dazed from the squashing they could even move. All the could do was hold their ribs from the pain that was just caused they even notice that the two giants and removed their pants and shorts just pass the bottom of their expansive behinds. Before the knew two flung themselves back on their seats ass first facing the kids feet landing with a hard thud.  Once again hurting the two teens. But now they got to see how big the two asses really were. Their clothes they had on had contained them. Mike was looking up once again at the huge dark chocolate ass that’s now has no fabric blocking his crack is starting to suck his body into. J-Ro sat that his head was the only thing sticking out of his deep crack. Mike felt his whole body go up inside this huge ass. He could even see J-Ro’s head. All he could see was mounds and mounds of muscle/jiggly black ass. Evan was in the same boat sinking deep into Chavez ass crack. Both Giant men stoping right before their faces. The two boys were now legit scared. Evan couldn’t see anything but Vez smooth brown  ass engulfing his tiny body. Then it happen the Two inmates looked at eachother and slid back all that ass on to the scared tiny kids faces.  And sat there with both their feet outstretched on the kids bodies. The kids under then just disappeared.  They both Sat and wiggled and grinded on the tiny facial features. The teens felt like there were In another dimension how deep they where in their ass.  Soon air was need and the two big men know it. So they lifted up slightly giving them air but still in the crack of their ass so all the kids got were stinky smelly sweaty ass and then BRRTTTTTT a fart from both of them that almost made the two pass out. They were stuck left only to breathe that gas. The Two inmates farted on their faces for 30 mins until they kids almost passed out just from the gas fumes. The kids barely coherent were fading from being literally trapped in a mega phat ass.
J-Ro: You want us to stop this?
He heard the kids muffle out a yes
Vez: Ok stick your tongue out both of you.
The kids didn’t want to but at this point were highly defeated. So they both stuck their tongues out only to have both Men sit back down fullweight again burying their tongues straight up their holes. The inmates grinded and bounce heavy on there face and tongue now.  The kids were so disgusted they wished they could pass out. Both of them started to cry thinking they would never escape this torture. They should of never pissed these two massive ass inmates off.  They started to fee for lack of oxygen thinking they would let them breathe. They had before but no such luck this time. The inmates just sat there and talked to eachother like nobody was even under them. And to them if it was for their tongue in there ass they wouldn’t even feel them. It was like just sitting on a lumpy bed.  They sat until the knew the kids had completely passed out. The rolled over on their stomachs on the bed bringing the kids and their body with them trapped in their ass. The kids looked like they were in a ass sleeping back stuck face first limp in between the two’s  huge ass cheeks.  
J-Ro: this was easier then the others huh
Chavez was looking back admiring the little Asian kid inbetween his ass.
Chavez: Yea they look sleep should we let em go
J-Ro : lets wait til the wake and do it one more time for good measure
About an hour of the kids sleep in these guys asses they started to stir. The two inmates pulled their face up from their asses but leaving their arms and body trapped inside there long deep crack.
J-Ro: So do you guys want to come back and meet us or will you be behaving from now
Mike: (drained and defeated) I’m sorry man I’m sorry (he said crying) Just let us go and we’ll never do anything wrong again
Evan: Yea (sobbing) Please nothing can be worse than this. I don’t wanna come back. I’m done
Chavez: Should we believe them J?
J-ro had a grin on his face: One more time to make sure
With that the both pushed the sobbing and pleading teens face back in their asses and this time rolled on their sides and backed into the padded wall behind the bed trapping the teen once again in their ass pinned against the wall.
Chavez: If you wan’t us to skip the farting stage you need to
Before he finished he felt the tongue go up his ass and J-Ro did too.
J-Ro: aww they don’t like our farts Vez haha
If you were standing from in the room it looked like the two guys where just lying on their sides. There massive fram and asses covered every bit of the tiny teens. They let the teens breathe off and on as long as they were licking their ass. Soon Jordon came by the glass and tapped signaling time was up. So the Inmantes  thrust their heavy ass back against the teens faces until they met their fate of passing out again.

When Mike and Evan woke back up they were back in the car at the gas station. Had it all been a dream. Then they noticed both their dad’s walk out the store with the man they had seen from the other side of the glass. It was…. It was JORDON. He walks to the car with both of their Dad’s and looks insdie. The boys immediately freeze up as he stick his head through the window

Jordon:  Ok boys, you have a nice night. Well I be seeing you again soon?
Mike and Nate: (terrified) no sir, not at all
Jordon: Good because just know (he whispers) Me and  twin brother are worse.
He turns around and walks away as the kids watch his massive cheeks jiggle back into the store. Both Their dad’s jump in
Mike’s Dad: How you feel?
Evan’s Dad:  Do we need to come back here again?
Both Teens: No sir…
The two dad’s smiled and drive away with fixed kids

Title: Chill, Phil/Phil from Tesco

Rating: NC-16 bc phil gets really thirsty

Warnings: i feel like there should be but idk omg there are homophobic slurs tho

Genre: crack af, fluff, kind of sexual????

Pairing/s: Phan

Characters: danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, TomSka, Carrie Hope Fletcher

Summary: “Did you see that awesome car outside the back door?”

A/N: inspired by a prompt on phanfic. screenshot above, link to actual prompt here

A/N 2: s/o to my friend “aiden” (name changed to protect identity) and my phil shae glossybutt u fuckers i morphed u two to make the ultimate twink

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Static (5/9)

Pairing: Phan

Genre: Romance

Rating: Mature (Explicit for this chapter)

Summary: There’s something to say about Dan’s knowledge of his own body when it takes him nearly four weeks to actually notice that something is different.

Warnings: Mpreg, le gay

A/N:I am actually really ill at the moment but I knew I had to get this posted sometime before the angry mobs descended upon me, so here it is. It has a bit of a cliffhanger, I know. Sorry guys.


* * *

Dan is actually pretty surprised by Ollie and David’s house.

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Superpowers Not Required

September, 1986

El had been finding the notes for about a month now, roughly since her sophomore year had begun; crammed in her locker, sticking out between pages of her Earth Systems textbook, shoved into the pocket of her jeans when she pulled them out after gym class.

Should’ve guessed Frog Face Wheeler would be the only one to try dating you.

Of course Mike Wheeler would like you. You look like a boy and he’s a queer.

Your boyfriend is a fag, Hopper.

This one was in her regular locker, almost hidden by her stacks of books. She willed herself not to read the scribbled notes but found her fingers peeling the lined paper open anyway, eyes tripping over the loopy purple-inked handwriting. The words inside made her stomach crawl into her throat.

Does Mike moan math equations when you two are making out? Or just the names of boys?

The slip of paper was reduced to shreds within moments, the remnants of the purple letters floating to the bottom of the nearest trashcan. Eleven blinked back hot tears and swallowed, straightening her jacket in determination. She’d been warned about mean kids at school, had seen the way bullies tormented Mike, Lucas, Dustin, and Will relentlessly. She’d broken an arm and even a few fingers but the boys told her, some with begrudging reluctance, that she had to stop. The last thing Eleven needed was another crazed police report with her name on it. Even if Hopper would throw it out, they couldn’t manage the risk of any extra attention on the mysterious girl with questionable legal documentations fabricating her birthday and even her given name.

“Hiya, El!” It was Dustin’s voice. Eleven turned and was met with her best friends bounding down the hallway toward her. She forgot about the sparkly purple ink for a second before her brown eyes fell on Mike, his eager smile making her chest feel prickly and hot.

“Hi,” he said warmly, his fingers brushing her wrist before he blushed and shoved his hands deep into his jean pockets. Eleven threw a look at the trashcan where the note lay in its grave. Mike smiled naively at her and guilt blackened the girl’s veins.

“Friends tell each other everything,” Will had told her once. The notion had filled her with glittery joy. She didn’t talk much still, but not much happened to her either, so there wasn’t a whole lot to tell her friends. And she loved that—the normalcy that now filled up most of her normal, fifteen-year-old life.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” That was Mike. His words had made her heartbeat flutter in her ears and her kiss float to the boy’s freckled cheek, right under his eye. But now the same memory filled her with slimy dread. Why did she feel such intense guilt about hiding the notes from Mike? She was protecting him, El reminded herself over and over.

She slipped a smile onto her lips, praying the expression was convincing enough to go without question. Taking Mike’s excited chatter about a new campaign that he was nearly finished with as a sign that her acting was adequate, El fell into the group’s quick rhythm, offering a comment every now and then. But it never took long before the goopy purple ink came back to the front of her mind.

They were coming up on El’s house when Mike murmured it to her: “Is everything okay, El?”

Her eyes flickered to his and she offered a short nod. A smile pushed her lips upward and she nodded again, more confidently. “Everything’s great! I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

Mike watched her carefully before grinning again, stepping backward off the curb in front of the Hopper house. “I’ll call you after dinner, okay?”

Eleven chewed the inside of her lip and nodded a third time. “Okay.”

The telephone rang at 7:04. El let it ring. Then she let it ring again. After a third time, the calls stopped.


“Why didn’t you pick up the phone last night?” Mike asked shyly as the boys broke off to head to class and he fumbled with the lock on his metal locker. “I called, like, twice.”

“My dad wouldn’t let me talk—homework wasn’t finished,” she lied coolly. Eleven smirked to herself, kicking at the school tile as Mike fished out his textbooks. “And you called three times, actually.”

Mike rolled his eyes at the blood he knew must have rushed to his ears and smiled at Eleven gently. His eyes flicked from hers and landed on something behind her. Eyebrow perked up, El turned to look at what he was staring at. “Lorelei Clark just put something in your locker, I think.” Eleven gulped and found the girl in her gaze, hot rage boiling in her stomach and toes. “Are you going to see what it is?” Mike asked innocently.

Eleven shook her head urgently, pulling on his elbow, trying to coax him away and off to first period. But Mike stood solid and started walking instead to El’s locker. “Let’s see what it is, El.” Eleven pulled harder on his elbow and he looked at her, confused and worried all at once. “What is it? Why won’t you see what she put in your locker?”

“We’re going to be late to class, Mike!” Eleven lied again sharply, willing her voice to stay even and light.

He was unconvinced and reached for the lock fastened to her locker, spinning in the code with ease. Mike knew her combination better than his own; he’d leave full-size skittle packages in there and sometimes even new gel pens. “Mike, don’t,” El cried, ripping the folded note he picked up from his fingers.

“El?” He looked down at her, pleading in his deep brown-black eyes.

She choked on a reply as he took the paper back calmly and opened it up.

El wouldn’t watch him read whatever purple-inked horrible things were undoubtedly scrawled on the slip of ripped notebook paper. She couldn’t. Eleven flipped around and found the back of Lorelei Clark’s head instead, a light blonde ponytail bobbing up and down.

“Hey!” Eleven wasn’t even processing the words spilling from her hateful mouth. “Lorelei!”

Lorelei paused and turned around, her flank of friends turning with her. Their snickering smiles stilled, looks of shock muting their laughter. They had never been caught.

“You’ve been writing the notes?” Eleven surprised herself with the confidence her voice suddenly adopted, her body rooted in place and her fists clenched at her sides.

Lorelei frowned and glanced at her miniature army of friends. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s bullshit.” Lorelei’s friends and the other now-silent high school students in the hallway gasped and muttered to one another. El inwardly grimaced at the sharp language that had just rolled off her tongue, courtesy of Dustin and Lucas’ example (and even her father’s occasional slip-up), but then remembered Mike, who stood somewhere behind her and had just read the new note. She concluded that the cuss word could be permitted for her current circumstances. She rolled her shoulders back and let her eyes fall into a purely seething glare. Lorelei Clark felt the hairs on her arms raise up. “I’m sure if we opened your backpack right now, I’d find a purple pen in there, right?” El asked.

Eleven walked toward the girl until there was only twelve inches separating them. Lorelei Clark was tall but El didn’t mind looking up a little. “Mean girls only bully people because they’re insecure.”

“Shut up, you little freak,” Lorelei spat, suddenly red in the face. The girls surrounding her gave each other knowing looks, eyebrows raised and eyes widened and whispers about Lorelei lacing the air. Lorelei looked at the them and stamped her foot, humiliation burning at her skin. “It’s not my fault your boyfriend Wheeler likes boys,” she hissed, looking El up and down before snickering and shoving the girl into another teenage bystander to the side. “And it isn’t my fault you fit his little gay fantasies almost perfectly,” Lorelei added, shoving El hard again, this time sending her nose straight into a boy’s shoulder. El winced and lifted a finger to her nose. It came away with blood.

“El!” She felt tears spring to her eyes at the sound of Mike’s voice. He pushed people out of the way and came to her, lifting her jaw with his fingertips and inspecting her nose gently, concern flooding his eyes.

“Oh, stay out of it, you pathetic little queer—”

They told her she couldn’t use her powers, but regular kids punched each other all the time. El whirred around and swung her fist at Lorelei’s glossy face.

El and Lorelei were both sent home from school that day for fighting, El with aching knuckles and Lorelei with an ugly blackening bruise blossoming along her jaw. Mike skipped class even though he knew he’d have a lot of explaining to do to Karen Wheeler. He sat against the wall outside with El, waiting for Hop to pull up in his squad car to escort Eleven home.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Eleven stared at the pavement and touched her swollen fingers timidly. “I was trying to protect you.”

Mike’s eyes lingered on her hands as she examined her bones curiously. He smiled disjointedly and shook out his hair in frustration. “I’ve been called names since grade school, El. It’s nothing new. You didn’t have to keep it all a secret,” he hesitated, “for me.”

El forced her eyes up, but only to Mike’s nose. That seemed to be her current limit. “Yes I did. One secret to stop you from getting one more bad memory. That’s worth it.”

Eleven felt Mike’s lips on her own before she saw the flash of his pale skin or dark hair. His kiss was hard and then he pulled away, face hot and blood-colored. El was suddenly okay with seeing that color again.

A honk broke up her thoughts. Her eyes shot up, where she found a fuming Hopper behind the front wheel on his police car.

“You can tell me anything, El. Just because you’re a superhero doesn’t mean you have to hide things from me, okay?”

She glanced backward and offered the boy who was still sitting up against the wall of the high school the prettiest smile she’d ever given anyone. “Okay, Mike.” It utterly blew Mike’s mind that Lorelei could ever say El looked remotely anything like a boy. Sure, Eleven skipped makeup and left her wavy, short hair natural but Mike was sure she was the most girl thing he’d ever laid eyes on.

“I’ll call you after dinner!”

“I’ll pick up!”

She could hear Mike’s low laughter when she pulled on the passenger-side door. It was locked. Jim rolled the window down. “Starting fights now?” He stared at her from behind his sunglasses, nodding his head to the backseat where they detained the people they arrested and convicts going to court. “You gonna pull a stunt like that,” he lowered his sunglasses menacingly at the girl.

“You can sit in the back.”


El answered the phone on the first ring at 7:02 so Hop wouldn’t be quick enough to catch it.

By 7:56, El knew her dad would be calling her into the living room for ice cream and Magnum, P.I. any second. (It was a weekly ritual of theirs that Jim had threatened to revoke that night for her fighting antics. He’d forgiven the girl quite quickly, however, so their Mint-Chocolate-Chip-Magnum night would still be in full-swing.)

“Hey, wait, before you go,” Mike’s trailing voice kept El’s ear on the phone. “Promise me you’ll tell me if you find any more notes, okay? Or if anyone else is mean to you.”

El snorted into the receiver, a light embarrassed pink tinting her neck at Mike’s adamant protectiveness. Even if she really liked it.

“Promise?” He repeated.

She sighed softly, a genuine smile lighting her face. “Promise.”