they look exactly like kids at prom

Ok, my fellow trans guys, it’s time I imparted some secrets regarding how to dress better than James Bond, in clothes that fit, without having to fork out hundred of pounds for custom made stuff.

I always go to H&M for a lot of my clothes. They do great plain tshirts in xs and the heather grey ones do well at hiding any weird lumpiness from my binder. I also get their xs basics shirts for £9.99 but they do a lot of awesome stuff and there;s a lot of choice. 

Jeans can be a nightmare for trans men too, often expensive and hard to find with short inseams, I spent ages looking for a good fitting pair. Until I hit up the H&M kids section. I spent £5.99 for a pair of jeans almost identical to the nearly £30 ones in the mens section. They have jeans with inseams up to 31 inches (though I opt for the 28 inch) and all you have to do is get over the fact that you’re shopping in the kids section and enjoy that sweet saving and perfect fit.

Now, I promised James Bond, and with prom season coming up it’s time we talked about suits. Premium department stores often have a section for kids that includes pageboy clothing or kids suits (thank god for the dapper child movement). These suits often look exactly like their adult equivalents, but cost less. I buy my suits from the John Lewis kids section because I rock a 30/31 inch chest and they provide suit jackets with chest measurements from the insanely tiny 20.5 inch to the more adult 34 inch. They also do suit trousers with inseams up to 31.5 inches. The only problem with these suits is that the buttons are often a bit tacky but if you are that detail orientated it is easy and cheap to go to a tailor and get them replaced.

Shoes can also pose problems, especially for me, at a size 2 my feet are small even for female standards. So, if you are looking to blend in, big brands like doc martens, timberland and converse do boys shoes identical to their mens shoes and so you can just track down the sizes until it fits you.

Also, wingtips can be found in small sizes in the kids section of Next as can small sizes of generic desert boots and other in fashion styles. Talking of Next, they do nice simple boxers in xs that fit small waists and also more expensive ones with superheros and stuff on them.

As a quick example: This is me in a water fight a few days ago. I’m a 5′2″ trans man and yet all of these clothes fit me perfectly. So let’s look at the outfit:

Sunglasses: 2 for £5 from Camden market

Suit Jacket: Navy linen blend suit jacket for boys, age 12, £40 from John Lewis

T-shirt: Basic white T-shirt in xs, £3.99 from H&M 

Jeans: Boys dark blue slim jeans, age 11-12, £5.99 from H&M

Shoes: Blowfish brown boots, size 3, £21 from Schuh

Water pistol: 4 for £1 from poundland

Outifit price: around £74 and it all fits me perfectly. That’s less than the price of a single ill fitting polyester suit jacket from the Next mens section.

Now go forth and out dress everyone you know!

Lo and Behold

Rated T

High school au based on the Postmodern Jukebox cover of ‘Teenage Dirtbag
Themes of internalized homophobia and self-hatred as a result, compulsory heterosexuality

For the first seventeen years of her life, Maggie Sawyer had only seen the ocean on screens and in books.  She had never been able to wrap her mind around the existence of water you can’t see beyond, of water that stretched to the horizon.  All she knew were the few lakes around Blue Springs that were probably closer to ponds, and the Big Blue River, which the heat of the summer occasionally turned into a stream.

Seventeen years.

Then, her aunt moved to Midvale, and Maggie had gone with her, and suddenly the ocean was there.

Maggie couldn’t go anywhere without the ocean being there.

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“He asked me the day before the prom and he came up and said ‘Mike said you said you’d go to the prom with me is that right?’ - That’s exactly how he asked me.”
“He was polite, he did act kind of goofy but he didn’t look like he had a mean bone in his body, he wasn’t two faced like a lot of kids were.”
“It came time to pin the corsage on and my mother had to do it because he was going so slow because he was afraid he was going to stick me with the pin.”
“We didn’t want to take pictures my mother dragged us over there to make us take the pictures.” 
“We were there for a while, then he disappeared on me.”
“They wouldn’t let him back in (to prom) because he had gone to McDonald’s, he was so nervous at dinner he didn’t eat enough, he was still hungry.”
“He had the McDonald’s bag to prove it, showed me the cheeseburger wrapper’s ‘I saved them in case you didn’t believe where I was.’ ”
“He did apologize, he felt bad.”
“I think the whole night was over by maybe 11 or 12.”

- Bridget Gieger, Jeffrey Dahmer’s prom date

“He asked me the day before the prom and he came up and said “Mike said you’d said you’d go to prom with me, is that right?’ That’s exactly how he asked me…I knew a week ahead of time but he was afraid to ask me. He was polite, he did act kind of goofy but he didn’t look like he had a mean bone in his body. He wasn’t two-faced like a lot of kids were, he didn’t pick on nobody, he didn’t cause no trouble, as far as starting fights, cause he took a lot of ribbing from other kids, cause he wasn’t considered good looking, and he was kinda nerdy and he really didn’t quite fit in. He did things for attention and people just really kind of made fun of him, I think.

It came time to pin the corsage on, and my mother had to do it cause he was going so slow, cause he was afraid he was going to stick me with the pin…I think he was scared to death to touch me or something maybe, I don’t know.

And then after we had dinner, we went over to the prom hall. When we were there for a while he disappeared on me, and I thought he went to the bathroom. And the time got longer and I thought ‘well jeez he’s not in the bathroom, you know, what the heck happened’. When he came back they wouldn’t let him back in because he had gone to McDonalds. Cause he was so nervous at dinner he didn’t eat enough, he was still hungry. He had the McDonalds bag to prove it and show me ‘here’s the cheeseburger wrappers I saved in case, you know, you didn’t believe where I was’. He did apologize, he felt bad, he was real upset, he said he thought he’d embarrassed me, and I said ‘no I was fine, you know, stuff happens’. And then he took me home. I think the whole night was over by maybe 11 o clock, or 12.”

-Bridget Geiger, Jeffrey Dahmer’s prom date