they laughed at this on the commentary for like 5 years


*swamped with homework and feelings and managed to shell this out a month late…I’m a mess™*

Request:  Hii can i have a drabble thingy game with jimin?TY😙😉 12,23 by  rebelliousjvmin

Word Count: 8.6k

Originally posted by bwipsul

He’s a literal angel

You were immersed in a deep sleep, tired from working on a large project that was worth half your grade. In you attempt to disconnect from the world around and sleep peacefully, you blocked out the sounds and all touch with reality. The sudden dip in your bed didn’t bother you, the presence of another body and an arm haphazardly wrapping around you, these were things you were blocking out. Until you felt a finger on your cheek.

“Hey, roomie.”

“I hate you.”

“You know you love me.”

“Kiss my ass, Jimin.” You used to think you were lucky to be paired up with your best friend in the dorms of your university. Until you realized he was a clingy, sassy and messy guy that never failed to annoy you. His leisure attitude towards school was opposite to your dedication to reading every word of your textbook. He was a jock, baseball being the reason he was here in your room and cheekily smiling at you.  

“I wouldn’t mind doing that.” You whacked him in the face with your pillow, wanting him to leave your room but he instead pulled you closer against his chest.

“Let go of me, you pervert.”

“You told me to kiss your ass, now…”

“I swear to god, Jimin, I’ll suffocate you in your sleep.”

“Kinky. I always wanted to test out breath play.”

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anonymous asked:

That video was so soft tho in my opinion, I love how they talked about dan and kept adrressing him as if he were their own child. They also made a few random comments here and there that really made me think about their relationship and their future. I'd love to hear your thoughts, you are way better at articulating things! :D

YES dude (though idk about me being better this summary is SPOT ON!!!!) lots of cute moments and parenting insights in this. i loved it!!!!! i’m just gonna copy paste my running commentary while i watched hahah :)

  • ok right off the bat I’m just. laughing. dan’s words in the intro are so confusing hahaha. “‘won’t somebody please think of the children?’ we’re not. too late for all of you.” ……… what? i mean i think they’re referencing this clip from the simpsons and i think dan is trying to say they’re not ‘thinking of us,’ like to make a joke that they’re inconsiderate or that their content is bad (in the way he always does when he’s like ‘i’m so sorry this is a complete disaster,’) but instead he just sounds very much like he’s saying he and phil aren’t thinking of ‘children’ right now, like not thinking of having children right now esp bc he mumbles the ‘too late for all of you’ bit so it was all jst very jarring and i began this video w heart racing and eyes wide, ready to ~pick up on anything~ and for daniel howell and his dumb way of speaking to always keep me on my toes ugh what a mess
  • regardless. phil sassing dan at the beginning for talking over him,,,, yes. ‘i’m trying to do an intro! let me finish!’ the sweetest words in the english language
  • dan’s summary of toddlers: they run around, they get very angry, and they slowly learn to poop
  • musings on the audience: we’re ‘ready to pick up on anything’ and we ‘can see it all’ love this self-aware, multi-layered, meta humor, kings of comedy
  • 1:47 dan saying ‘how many years would you have to use a toilet and not clean it,’ made me confront the reality that dan cleans toilets at least once in a while. stars! they’re just like us
  • ‘dil get your hand down that u-bend stat’ is honestly so funny. phil’s giggle when dan is ‘not particularly comfortable’ is so cute
  • their sharing in a bit of nostalgia for their daycare memories and bonding over the similarity of their experiences. stop. i love how dan knows the distance from wokingham to manchester off the top of his head and characterizes their age gap as ‘a couple of years.’ i feel queasy
  • dil is werrrrqing it according to dan. he is also party miami dad
  • phil acknowledging the existence of the ripped jeans and envisioning them turning into ripped shorts. didn’t know i needed that. very into it
  • dan committing to wearing a crop top in the event that he ever has abs. can phil please tell him to stick to his guns about subverting society’s standards for male beauty and to therefore go ahead and rock a crop top regardless of his abdominal musculature, if that’s what he wants??? ?
  • phil actually hates the crop top and shorts. dan says it’s amazing and starts to criticize phil (‘phil stop be—‘ in his typical higher-pitched tone of indignation) but then gets thoroughly distracted by dil doing crunches lmao
  • this might be really weird but I’m obsessed w watching the way phil uses his hands when he gets excited. just like. watch his hands from 4:38 to 5:15 it’s the most heartwarming thing u will likely ever see. i think in this vid in particular he was even more expressive than usual and i noticed he clasped his hands near his chin or grabbed his own face a number of times and it was so cute. phil lester, actual king of gesticulation. i always wonder if this tendency is natural for him or something that he kind of forces in order to sort of appear more animated/performance-y when he’s filming (cause something about it sort of feels like a nervous tic at times!!! but idk!!!! body language experts, weigh in!!!)
  • 5:37 dan is confused then starts singing along and they make weird noises i have no idea what they’re referencing and i have never hated their connection more. i feel so left out
  • dan’s idea of a school-aged child is obsession w playstation and pokemon
  • dab is sprinting maniacally and in my current state of mind i find it fucking hilarious
  • dan has mentioned dil’s abs like 10 times in  7 mins
  • i like how they both immediately agree w no discussion that creativity is the most desirable trait of those options
  • also cheerful. dan says ‘i like cheerful’ and fuck I’m soft
  • dan is genuinely emotional about child dab which is so cute
  • i love how actually disappointed phil is that this child’s fav animal is a frog and how dan immediately comes to his defense. this feels like eerily realistic insight into a situation dnp would def get into with their child
  • ‘easy beans’ phil owns my heart
  • they buy dab an art table thing and phil says ’we need to make him the most creative child possible.’ i love that with minimal discussion they immediately want to get stuff for dab to encourage his talents it reminds me of dan ranting about what makes a good parent (someone who equips their child to pursue their passions)
  • dan says he needs to be connected to the internet and phil hesitates bc he’s so young and dan is immediately outraged. and then phil immediately caves. this also felt so insightful to me, like we were watching them kind of talk out their real life approach to parenting and exposing their child to technology 
  • 16:01 their enthusiasm about dab’s drawing like y’all i know this is a sim but they’re rly treating it like a real kid and it’s just too vividly mirroring how they would obviously react to their real child’s first ever drawing and I’m emotional
  • phil immediately suggests hanging it up and they both have a long awwwwwww aiwejroaiejroaier this is Too Much
  • omg the exchange at 16:54 about cake made me wanna die i feel like first off it is v rare to hear phil call dan by his name in videos (other than when he’s exasperated and yells ‘dan!!!!’ as an interjection bc dan is being a shit) so it immediately just felt like a more personal moment and then the way that dan was like ofc we can and must cater to ur random craving and order cake delivery immediately after filming like he just rolls w it and it’s just such a spontaneous and sweet little moment and godddddd they def curled up and ate cake after they were done w the video, on their new couch, in their new fancy lounge, in their new home, bc they can just do that. fucking hell their domestic bliss is giving me so much envy my heart physically ACHES with it
  • ‘baking a cake in your bikini that’s quite iconic’ phil is just out here empowering women to love themselves
  • then dan butting in with ‘what a milf’ nice, it’s been forever since he’s been that explicit about female attraction i was shook. i like that he immediately asks if he’s allowed to say it and phil immediately shuts him down. i mean there’s a slight chance that’s just for comedic value but it feels sort of in line w the notion that they (esp dan) have consciously toned down and all but eliminated female attraction mentions (or sexualization) from their dialogue in videos bc they’re aware of their mostly female audience (this speculation aside in all honesty why is eliza’s bod low-key bangin)
  • 18:16 when dan is like walking thru his vision for dab as the social arty kid and evan as the shy genius he is literally writing fic in his head idk why he’s even tryna make fun of tumblr’s interest in this ship he’s the biggest stan out there all of the dab x evan entries on wattpad will be by dan under various pseudonyms
  • para-BOWL-uhs is this how brits say parabola or is dan just terrible
  • 19:54 dan wants them to hook up confirmt

lol fuck this video was good and dnp are going to be fucking amazing dads idec that’s the only conclusion from this video that matters

(sims #39)

anonymous asked:

could you do 52 "i don't think he loves me anymore" with some angst? + andreil

Dan gets home late from her coaching gig on Tuesday night, and they eat thai takeaway over styrofoam containers and cheap wine.

The TV’s the only light in the room, and it’s almost like the flicker of a fireplace, if they don’t look at it directly. Dan’s laughing and smooching stray noodle off of Matt’s cheek when there’s a knock on the door.

They make faces at each other. “It’s 10 pm,” Dan says. “This had better be life or death.”

Matt groans. “Don’t tempt fate.” He struggles out of the couch and passes his ginger beef off to Dan. “5 bucks says it’s Allison back from Guadala-whatever. Timezones mean nothing to her.”

“Bet denied. You know gambling isn’t the same when we have a joint bank account,” Dan complains and Matt laughs, dodging their side table and heading for the front door. He busily cracks open all of their locks and rattles the door until it unsticks.

“Hey!” he says, surprised. Neil’s scuffing their doormat with the toe of his shoe, dressed in old PSU colours. “A house call from Neil Josten, what an honour,” he jokes. Half-jokes. A visit from Neil is a confession that he missed you enough to actually do something about it.

Neil looks up at him blankly, and something is so obviously wrong that it shakes Matt. He takes silent note of the bag slung over his shoulder, the mottled redness of his eyes and face.

“Allison?” Dan calls, and Matt shakes his head without thinking.

“Neil,” he replies softly.

“Get out of town,” Dan says, voice getting louder as she floats towards them. She appears at Matt’s shoulder and grins. “Well if it isn’t our favourite competition.”

Neil usually says something obnoxious about Matt’s team not even counting as competition, but this time his mouth stays thin and snapped shut. Matt and Dan exchange a loaded glance.

“I need to ask you a favour,” Neil says finally.

“Anything,” Matt says.

“I need to stay somewhere,” Neil says, and Matt watches him gather himself like he’s finding his balance on a slick of ice.

“Where’s Andrew,” Dan says slowly. Neil looks at her, and then at Matt. He hasn’t seemed quite this small since he first showed up at the foxhole court with all his lies clenched between his teeth.

“I can find somewhere else,” Neil says, already turning to go. Matt catches him by the strap of his duffel.

“Oh no you don’t. We’ve got a couch with your name on it.”

“If Matt hasn’t destroyed it with peanut sauce,” Dan chirps. Neil looks back and forth between them again, his face in knots. Matt bodily pulls him over the threshold.

“You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to. We get how it is.” He looks over at Dan and she’s already nodding.

“Thanks,” Neil says, and he drops his bag heavily just inside the door. He eyes the TV. “What were you watching?”

“Not exy,” Dan replies. “You might have heard of it.” She flops back onto her side of the couch and tucks her feet under herself. Matt settles down opposite and watches Neil perch on the armchair like it’s made of something sharp.

“We can change it?”

Neil shakes his head, and his eyes drop. Matt feels metaphorical eggshells crunching under his heels. It’s never been this uneasy with Neil, even when they first met.

Neil picks at his armbands until he seems to realize what he’s doing, and he reaches under the sleeves of his hoodie to peel them off altogether. Dan shoots Matt a frantic look.

“Not to pry,” Dan starts, “but do you need us to call anyone?”

He looks up. “Like who?”

“Like…” she looks at Matt. “Your coach? Nicky, maybe? Kevin?”

“How would they help me?” Neil says flatly.

“Man, your Andrew impression is killer,” Matt grits, nerves pricking with frustration. Neil’s expression goes tight, distorted like canvas stretched to fit an oversized frame.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Oh 🤔 that gives me an idea! Can you make a scenario where the Diaboys have a s/o who has sass, like can say the most funny come back like back handed compliments


Shu: He was snoring lazily next to you as you binge-watched your favorite tv show. The two of you had been watching it together, but it didn’t take long until he fell right asleep. You leaned forward as some interesting turn of events just unfolded on the screen, but you were abruptly snapped out of your focus when Shu turned over on his stomach with a light groan. His large hand had found its way to your boob somehow. He pretended to sleep soundly, but you could see the faintest hint of a smile on his features. “Shu,” you started, knowing full well he could hear you just fine. “Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case, you pervert.”

Reiji: Your chemistry class was having a lab day where you were assigned a partner and you had to examine chemical reactions. Both you and Reiji were in the same class, but were inevitably put in separate groups. You inwardly sighed because you knew even if you weren’t in the same group, Reiji would find a way to come pester you. This turned out to be true when the glasses man came up behind you, practically breathing down your neck as he watched you pour some chemical in a glass beaker. “You’re doing it all wrong,” he told you. “If you pour it that way, it’s not going to give you the results you want. Pour it after you put this in.” Reiji said as he held up another bottle. You glared needles at him. “Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.”

Laito: Laito sat with you at the long dinner table eating supper, though it was only the two of you this night. Everyone else apparantly had better things to do. Laito smirked as he nudged a bowl of grapes off the table and onto the plush carpet with his elbow. “Oops, I dropped the grapes. Bitch-chan, do me a favor and get it for me?” You didn’t know what he was up to this time, but he was up to something. Nevertheless, you bent over to pick up the grapes because this would end up being a bigger mess if you didn’t. That’s when you felt his hand feeling up your butt and you gasped out. “Laito!!” He tried to make an innocent face, “What did I do, Bitch-chan? I was just trying to eat my dinner.” “You couldn’t help but laugh because that was the dumbest way he’s tried yet. “Sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid,” you jeered. “than open it and remove all the doubt.”

Kanato: Kanato and Ayato were fighting over who gets the last piece of cake at the dinner table. Reiji only sighed and everyone else just looked on with clear irritation. “It’s MINE, KANATO. YOU’VE ALREADY HAD LIKE 5 SLICES,” Ayato yelled.

“SHUT UP STUPID AYATO. GET YOUR DISGUSTING HANDS OFF MY CAKE OR-or-” Kanato paused, perplexed, thinking of an insult.”OR I’LL BREAK YOU.”

You snickered at Kanato, “I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a better insult than that.” 

Ayato: It was a normal day, you and Ayato sat on his bed as he talked ceaselessly. In gym class at school today, there had been a physical exam which was done every year to see who was in peak physical condition. Everyone was forced to perform things like the sit and reach, pull ups, sit ups, the pacer test, and the worse was the mile run. Ayato had enjoyed it at least. “…and that is why I’m better than all my brothers,” he proudly declared, holding up a piece of paper with the results of the physical exam on it. “look here at my score, I’m better than all of them combined!!

You were tired of his boasting and snatched at the paper distastefully. After pretending to study the paper for a few seconds, you looked up at your boyfriend. “Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth,” you held the paper up to him. “You got second place in the sit and reach.”

Subaru: You were in the living room surrounded by the Sakamakis and they all stared at you like hawks would at their prey. You came to live with them not too long ago after being betrayed by your priest father. Currently, you sat shivering in your frame after discovering they’re vampires. Just then someone snatched your phone out of your hand and crushed it with his own (and with uncanny ease). You looked up at Subaru, the one who’s claimed you as his and he stared back with hard malevolence. After this, he took your hand and pulled you away from the others. You stumbled behind him. “Your family tree must be a cactus,” you huffed out as he continued to pull violently, but then stopping, looking at you with queer wonder. “cause you’re all a bunch of pricks.”

Ruki: You sat in his lap as he sucked blood from your neck with a little too much aggression. Ruki was pissed at you because he walked into the kitchen this morning and you were there laughing at something with Yuma. He dragged you to his room and demanded you give him your blood in repayment. You shifted in his tight hold and he growled back, holding you tighter. “Stay still, Livestock or I’ll make it feel worse.” Oh. You’ve been holding back your commentary for a while now, but this one just slipped out, “I don’t know what you’re problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.”

Kou: Kou had somehow convinced you to go to one of his concerts. You stood in the crowd as he sung and swung his hips in the pop idol sort of way. You didn’t exactly care for this kind of thing, especially not the screaming girls that tried to suffocate you with their enthusiasm, but it was kind of fun to watch. After the performance was over you went back stage to see your boyfriend. He was there in the dressing room. “____-chan! How are you?” Kou greeted cheerfully, then winked. “Jealous of all the girls who want me so badly they’d throw their underwear at me?” You remembered seeing that happen, some girls were literally throwing their clothes at the stage while screaming and crying. Kou snickered, “You’re pretty lucky to have me all to yourself, despite the fact I could pick up any girl I please.” You scoffed at this. “I’m trying my absolute hardest to see from your perspective, but I just can’t get my head that far up my ass.”

Yuma: Yuma smirked down at you as you tried to reach a box that was obviously too high for you to reach. “Too bad you’re such a shorty, I guess you’ll never be able to get that box,” Yuma said coolly, then raised his widened his eyes in mock wonder. “If I were you, I just don’t know how i’d feel,” He leaned his frame against the shelf, putting his hand to his head at an angle that clearly showed he could reach the box just fine. 

You sighed. “I’d tell you how I really feel, but I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to express it.”

Azusa: no I can’t

Carla: Carla was lecturing you and Shin about something or the other that you did to displease him. “With both of you ransacking our castle like this and messing things up, how am I supposed to keep our reputation in check. ____, I ought to just suck you dry right here and now, but no I’ll give you just one more chance-” 

“Carla, nice story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up?”R.I.P. you

Shin: Shin and you were at the pool with the Sakamakis and Kino. Shu was telling Shin and Ayato that if they jumped off the roof into the pool, the impact of the fall would be canceled because it was high up. Then he added it only worked if you did a bellyflop. They both went to the roof to try this. Shin was about to jump off and called your name to make you sure you were witnessing his epic jump. Then he jumped… and bellyflopped into the water. Even Shin, with his royal vampire bloodline, came up screaming in pain. Everyone laughed their asses off and you spent the rest of the time by his side as he sat rigid and hurting in a beach chair. You turned to look at him, amused. “Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I’m around?”

Kino: Kino and you walked down the street, side by side. It was late in the night and the city was silent as everyone slept. The two of you were taking your normal nightly stroll. Apparantly, it was his duty to patrol the area so that none of the Sakamaki or Mukami brats could do anything annoying. But right now Kino was more interested in spray painting obscenities on a stop sign than any vampires. You looked at your s/o with outright disapproval. “You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take tonight off?”

Goodbye SourceFed

And here we are. I have no idea how to go about this. I don’t know how to begin. Maybe that was the proper intro. I don’t know.

SourceFed comes to an end tomorrow. I’ve delayed writing this because I’m having trouble processing everything that comes with the news we all got on Monday. 

In 2013, I found a channel as an 18 year old who just finished freshman year of college. I was on the edge of giving up my pursuit of an entertainment career since I wasn’t feeling it anymore. Then on May 12, 2013 - I found them. I found a Truth or Dare, then a Comm Comm, then a news piece, then a Table Talk and it spiraled into googling every host until 6am the next day. I found the channel when I found Steve and Lee through a YouTuber’s React and swear to god thought they were a comedy band (idk, they had the look). I went “Oh, SourceFed. That’s an interesting name for a band”.

They are what kickstarted my interest in YouTube. I had casually watched it since 2006 but I turned hardcore and obsessing over many YouTube creators since finding them. Their chemistry is unlike anything I had ever seen on YouTube and I have never seen anything like it since then. They reminded of my friends and that was something that resonated with me. 

I owe a lot to SourceFed. They propelled me into my YouTube and comedy career. They’re the main reason I ended up at Groundlings which turned into everything else I do now. I’m still in the program at Groundlings as well as taking classes with iO West and Second City. I did two years of sketch comedy with my college and I have been making videos consecutively since last August.

They’ve given me the most amazing friends (Hi Lee, Andre, Sophie, Kara, Ming, Ryan, Carol, Katie and many many more). I have a lot of memories. Getting picked for TableTalk 5 times as well as CommComm and Truth or Dare. Watching BFTT, Santa Steve, Truth or Dare, and the SourceFed Christmas Special. The OG comment commentary couch. Jonathan Gay. I hate wasp. DeFranco Does LA. The SF booth at VidCon 2015. Going to VidCon 2015 (and 2016 and eventually 2017). Competing against DeFranco in Super Smash Bros at VidCon. Matt Lieberman was even my mentor last year at VidCon’s mentorship program! Meeting any of them in person always made me feel so special seeing how personable and genuine and encouraging they were even while working in an industry that can leave a person so jaded. 

And then fan interaction went to a whole other level. Lee is now my friend and mentor at Groundlings and meeting her was one of the best things that happened to me. We’ve now known each other for a few years and she is like the sister I wish I had. That was something I NEVER expected to happen.

I went to their channel first when a friend passed away suddenly a few years ago. It was my go-to for laughing again after a hard day of school or work. Finding them changed the trajectory of my life forever. It ended up in my life at the right place at the right time. Watching the hosts grow into incredible pros in the industry and really wonderful people was a joy and I’m going to continue to watch what they do next because they will conquer the world. YouTube was blessed with 5 years of a channel that dared to experiment and I will respect them for that. It’s the end of an era. But I know I speak for many people who say that SourceFed is what prompted them to pursue a career in new media and through that we can carry on the impact of those 5 years. 

I want to thank the team for pouring so much into their work to inspire and educate everyone who was lucky enough to find their videos. Thank you for inspiring me, pushing me, and encouraging me. Thank you for being so kind to my baby brother at last year’s VidCon (his picture is at the very end. It’s blurry AF but you get the picture). He got the best group hug he’s ever gotten in his life. I write this now as a 22 year old with an office job in programming but spends most of her free time during the day at her desk writing, reading scripts, editing scripts, planning camera shots, you name it. I’m gonna make sure to eat shrimp scampi at some point soon to commemorate. And then I will make you proud one day. 




Since I got a huge influx of followers thanks to a certain -someone-, I figured I’d say hi, hello and welcome to my blog!!!

Originally posted by kylimakat28

I know someone asked for a FAQ page and I’ll likely put one up later this weekend. For now, I’ll just explain a little bit about my blog, myself and where Dark came from.

For starters, I have do have an Art Blog if people are only interested in my work. It’s linked in my header or you can click here. This is my main blog where I post my art as well as a mix of other things. My main blog typically features artwork I like, fanart, cute things or stuff that makes me laugh. I’m a SFW blog with a few NSFW illustrations that may pop up rarely (I try my best to tag them). 

A bit about myself: I’m a recent graduate of California State University, Sacramento where I obtained my BA in Fine Arts with a concentration in Digital Media. While I love illustrating, it’s actually something I didn’t study in school. I learned fine art elements and how to use programs like Maya and After Effects in my last few semesters. I’ve picked up the majority of my illustration knowledge from watching other artists online and reading tutorials. I typically create all of my work in Photoshop using a drawing tablet. 

Annnnd Dark….where to start with this? You’re probably wondering, “Why did you make Dark? What -is- Dark? How did he come to be??? WHY are you obsessed with this youtuber you freakin’ weirdo?!?”. All great and valid questions. Mark said it himself in the livestream that Dark was something the fandom created. I remember people joking in the youtube comments on Mark’s creepy pasta videos from way back when. I would see people say, “Oh that’s not Mark in the video, it’s ‘Dark’”. Mark also made a tumblr post around that time jokingly saying Dark wasn’t a character of his, why did you make him real? That sparked me to create the older work that he showed in the livestream. I wanted to create what or who I thought Dark was. After that piece, I didn’t toy with the Darkiplier idea again until about 6 months later. I ran this blog like an ask blog and did some silly things with darko the dork. I gave Dark a persona while using Mark’s face as a model for him.

Originally, my Dark was a creation of Mark’s fears; a nightmarish type monster that was tied to Mark and a reflection of what you can become if you lose your path. I wanted to create a comic with commentary on how fear can control your life and the effects it can have if you let fear rule you. That never came to fruition as school and life kind of got out of hand. I also felt stagnant with the character being so tied to Mark himself. It was humbling to see how much my Dark influenced my friends versions of him and other people in the fandom as well, but I was getting frustrated with the idea. I set Dark down for about year and came back to him just before Mark did that dating skit this February (although that also has had a big influence on me). Currently, Dark is now a separate entity and falls into the Cryptid category. I’m being tight lipped about his story as I’m working out the prologue with @prismkitten-mivy. There will be multiple original characters in this story that are given the task of capturing the escapee, Dark (Who goes by another name but you’ll see that later). I started Dark’s story long ago and now with a new re-write, I plan to finish it. He’s going to be a side project that will keep me and hopefully my followers entertained as I work on other ideas as well.

So there you have it. I still watch Mark’s vid’s from time to time because the nerd makes me laugh. I work 5 days a week and spend most of my free time working on new projects to share with you all here. I’m just a nerd that can draw and likes interacting with folks on here when I can. :)

Dear Steroliners

I have been lurking the steroline tag and your beautiful gifs/metas/fan fictions for awhile now. I don’t have my own tumblr/twitter presence, and I’ve never felt the need to weigh in until now, other than some random asks I’ve thrown at kmze. But it must be said, or it will continue to haunt me: this finale was completely bogus and should be thrown in the dumpster. I felt like maybe writing this out will help me get over the tragic and senseless end of those two adorable puppies, Stefan and Caroline. So here it goes.

There was so much NOPE in this finale it’s hard to know where to start, but I’m going to focus on the most obvious: Stefan’s death.

I don’t object to the notion that a Salvatore brother had to die. They’ve evaded death for far too long, and left way too many bodies in their wake. I don’t think any of us expected both the Salvatore brothers to make it out of this show alive. Would I have preferred it to be Damon that died, or at least to have the brothers both go out in a blaze of glory? Fuck yes. But I could have handled Stefan dying, and Damon living, had it been handled in a way that made even a shred of sense. It was not.

A sacrificial death, when done right, can be a very fitting way for a show to go out. See: Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s finale. 15 year old me shipped Buffy and Spike (I know, I know, quite a toxic relationship, but moving on). So I was bummed as heck when Spike died in the finale. But the way he went out was just so damn fitting I could not be that mad. He sacrificed himself to save Buffy, to save the Slayer-ettes and the rest of the Scoobies, and literally the entire world. It was necessary and rooted in the plot and was therefore heroic and did a heck of a lot to redeem him of his terrible deeds. It fit the narrative, it fit the character’s arc, and it was satisfying, which took the edge off the tragedy.

Now, let’s compare that to Stefan’s death shall we? Was his death necessary to save the world? Nope. It was not even necessary to save Mystic Falls, since Bonnie had found a way to control the hellfire and send it to hell, or at least divert it. It was arguably necessary to kill Katherine and destroy Hell, but like, there’s nothing particularly noble about destroying Hell? There were tons of bad people in Hell, people that should arguably have stayed in Hell and not been given a “get out of Hell free” card. There did seem to be some not terrible people stuck in Hell (Vicky was irritating but not evil) but maybe since Cade was dead this whole policy of throwing everyone who ever screwed up once in their lives, into eternal torment, no longer applied? Katherine is a cut-throat queen but I don’t see her being this petty. Unclear, but either way this Hell mythology was just too murky for a set-up wherein destroying Hell equals redemption. So far, I fail to see how this action redeemed Stefan’s tattered soul and granted him his peace.

Okay so let’s assume I’ve missed something. (I very well could have. I only watched the finale once and I doubt I’ll ever be able to bring myself to watch it again.) Let’s assume for the sake of argument that in fact the whole “stabbing Katherine with the dagger at the very moment she is immolated thus ensuring she dies in Hell and Hell is destroyed” was a very necessary and heroic act in the grand scheme of things. So at least one of the Salva-bros had to die. The choice of who gets the axe should be based in the narrative, yes? Maybe the brother who showed up in Mystic Falls in season 1, all gleeful about tormenting his brother and making the residents of Mystic Falls suffer, would be a good choice for the one who ultimately saves the town? Whose ongoing arc has been about becoming a better, less-selfish man, one capable of putting his brother before his own needs? Who, two episodes before, had proven that he was ready to be that hero, and had died in a similar sacrifice, but had miraculously come back from it with no explanation? Maybe the writers had a plan? HAHA BITCH YOU THOUGHT.

Instead, Stefan dies because “Damon is the better man.” Hahahahahah lol lol lol brb LAUGHING FOREVER. I don’t need to list the many actions/character traits that Damon has displayed over the years, that make it emphatically clear that he is not the better man. At best he is the equally-as-terrible man. Stefan killed Enzo, yes, which was painful, mainly because of its effect on Bonnie (Enzo was also a murderous trashbag, let us never forget). But Damon killed Tyler, tried to kill Bonnie, and abducted a couple of 4 year olds and tried to sell them to the Devil in return for his own soul, and that was just in season 8. I can’t even remember all the times he killed Alaric and Jeremy, I have literally lost count. Many of you have already covered Damon’s many crimes in your well-reasoned and thoughtful metas and commentaries. They do not need repeating. Damon is a selfish, impulsive, weak-willed, predatory psycho murderer. We have the receipts in the form of seasons 1-8 of this show. I say this as someone who is actually a big Damon fan (I like his snark) and was all about Damon and Elena in seasons 1-4, despite how terrible they were to Stefan. (The actors had lit chemistry back then, sue me.)

Stefan is a psycho murderer too, but at least he feels bad about it. I invite anyone to explain to me how saving Damon, and giving him a human life, tilted the karmic scales in Stefan’s favour. One mass-murderer dying, so that another mass-murderer can live, does not redeem the first mass-murderer, particularly when the major crime the first mass-murderer seems to be paying for, is the murder of a THIRD MASS-MURDERER (Enzo). I just refuse to believe that the universe’s sense of justice is this out to fucking lunch.  

Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the most glaring plot hole in this clusterfuck of a sacrifice=redemption narrative, which is obviously that DAMON DIDN’T HAVE TO DO SHIT TO FIND REDEMPTION/PEACE. NOTHING NADA ZILCH. Thus undermining the entire justification for Stefan’s death. Dear god, what a mess.

I can sort of see how in Stefan’s deeply troubled mind dying for his brother would redeem him, because he loved the shit out of his brother, despite how rarely Damon actually deserved that love. Which brings us to another high-key problematic aspect of this finale, which is the assassination of Stefan’s character development. Over 8 seasons, we watched Stefan struggle with his mental illness, his addiction, his complete lack of self-worth, and most importantly, his suicidal tendencies. Once he was able to remove himself from the Triangle of Doom, he actually made a lot of progress! He stopped referring to the Ripper in the third person, he got a handle on the whole blood thing, and when he finally opened his eyes about Caroline, he found a healthy, happy, mutually supportive relationship for pretty much the first time in his entire life. He didn’t ever fully let go of his dependency on Damon, but by the time season 8 started, he was planning a life with Caroline and clearly heading in that direction. His suicidal tendencies made a come-back, thanks to killing Enzo and the guilt that caused him, but by 8x13 he was like I WANNA LIVE, by 8x14 he was re-proposing to Caroline and talking about growing old, and by 8x15 he was effing married to the love of his life and dancing and laughing with her at their wedding.

Then 8x16 comes around, and suddenly, he’s back to “I HAVE TO DIE BECAUSE OF WHAT I DID TO ENZO AND I WON’T BE ABLE TO MAKE UP FOR MY SINS BECAUSE I’M HUMAN AND DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME BUT DAMON YOU HAVE ETERNITY AND YOU’RE THE BETTER MAN” and I’m like THA FUCK? Did I imagine the previous 15 episodes/the previous 5 seasons? Is this the right channel? WHAT IS HAPPENING WHERE AM I RIGHT NOW?  

There are also so many plot holes when it comes to discerning Stefan’s own motivation for this sacrifice, directly out of the dialogue and HIS OWN DAMN MOUTH. He tells Damon that he has “an eternity with Elena” to make up for his own sins. But Stefan’s actions were definitely pre-meditated right? He knew he was going to give Damon the cure, so obviously Damon will not have an eternity to make up for his own crimes? Also Elena is a human now and Damon has been droning on about their human endgame plan for like 5 years now, ever since Elena went into her mystical coma? And then my personal favourite, when Stefan talks to Elena, he tells her he wanted her to have the chance to get to know human Damon. BUT EXCUSE ME as far as he knew Elena was stuck in the mystical coma until Bonnie dies, which everyone assumed would be 60-70 years from then, so seeing as how Damon will age and probably be dead by the time Elena wakes up, or at least very wrinkly and very old, how does he figure he is giving Damon and Elena their happily ever after? As far as Stefan knows, or at least SHOULD KNOW relying on concepts like logic and common sense, he just took away both Damon’s right to choose to die, AND Damon’s happily ever after with Elena, and this is full circle and remedies his original sin of forcing Damon to turn into a vampire and I’m just !?!??!!? I’M PHRASING THESE AS QUESTIONS BECAUSE I LEGIT WANT A FUCKING EXPLANATION SOMEONE PLS HELP.  

Oh and btw the whole Stefan sacrificing himself for Damon and Elena and making up for his original sin of forcing Damon to turn, was so effing murky in the actual episode it had to be explained in interviews by KW and JP, at which point KW made it clear that this entire nightmare happened because he is a 14 year old Stelena fanboy and didn’t watch the last 5 seasons of his own damn show AND NOW I’M ACTUALLY LAUGHING IT’S ALL SO RIDICULOUS.

So, cool. Stefan is dead, Caroline is widowed on her effing wedding day, I am emotionally gutted, and basically this all happened for virtually no reason my brain can discern. Very epic, so fitting, what a pay-off, much full-circle, argaahgaahfTHEFUCK.

When Caroline left him that voicemail, I couldn’t even enjoy the “I will love you forever” line because she also said “I understand” and I was like OMIGOD CAROLINE PLS EXPLAIN IT OUT LOUD CAUSE I SURE AS FUCK DON’T.

And even after all this, the writers are not QUITE done making a mockery out of the notion of consistency in story-telling. They decide that the last scene featuring Caroline Forbes-Salvatore, a character whose strongest traits are her loyalty to the people she loves and moral backbone, and who was widowed like 5 minutes ago from the viewer’s perspective, should be spent with Caroline receiving a letter from a murderous one-night-stand she does not GAF about. For the cherry-on-top, anyone who watches the Originals knows that the one-night-stand is currently suffering some sort of hell torment and hallucinating his actual true love, one Camille O’Connor. AND THEN THE WRITERS HAVE TO GO ON TWITTER to try and explain how the fuck this timeline could possibly make sense and Joseph Morgan is like “I’ve filmed all of season 4 lol what letter?” and I’m laughing again because this is total amateur-hour. Thank you to all the twitter users who have been dragging this joke of a writing team online, your salt is giving me life. Never has a moment of such cheap and blatant fan-baiting backfired so magnificently. I was planning on watching the Originals when it comes back but HAHA NOPE NEVER AGAIN JULIE PLEC, BACK TO THE DUMPSTER WITH YOU.

Anyways, this rant got out of hand. The point here is that I feel justified in completely ignoring this entire finale because of how little sense it made or even attempted to make. I’m sad a show I’ve loved for 8 years ended on such an absurd and poorly-plotted note. Perhaps I’ll eventually get around to writing some fan fiction in an attempt to create my own little alternative ending. In retrospect, I probably should have known better, but I hung in there because when TVD was good, it was really good. But damn, when it was bad, it was truly unwatchable.

Stefan and Caroline forever.

Strawberry Moon - (Trixya/Vatya) - (3/5) - spacespice

Trixie is a stuggling music artist finally discovered by a sleazy Hollywood manager; however, his Russian trophy bride (along with her small-waisted young lover) complicate and confuse Trixie’s rise to the top as a legend, icon, and star.

A/N: Love triangles: so delicious yet so, so messy. Am I right, ladies? The last chapter will contain the climax, innuendo intended and implied. Also, between this installment and the last, I’m gonna have a little mini-chapter with some smutty smut-smut because I am *what*? Vatya Trash. I’m Vatya Trash.

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AU/ Almost Missed a Good Thing: Chapter 8!

Riley and Lucas suck when it comes to matters of the heart. See what happens when these two romantics fight their way through, misunderstandings, heartaches and learn that sometimes the person who’s seen you through it all is that good thing you’d been searching for all along!

Word Count: 2,365

| Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |

“Dreams to Nightmares”

1 Month Later

“What’s going on with you?” Maya asked as she sat in Riley’s makeshift bay window.

“What do you mean?” Riley replied.

“Um.” She lifted her eyebrows to examine the tight grip Riley had on her legs and shrugged. “I don’t know you just seem a little off today.”

“Oh, well I’m fine.” She lied, tears trickling down the side of her cheek.

“So, everything’s good at work?”


“No one’s sick?”


“Or getting a divorce?”

“Not on my watch!”

Maya snapped her fingers. “Henry tried to contact you, didn’t he?!”

“Heavens no!” Maya groaned and lifted her friend from her lap to look her in the eyes.


Riley was lost for words as Maya held her gaze. How could she say that the boy she’d look to for strength, guidance and comfort was now the man she wanted beside her for now and always? How could she admit that what everyone had teased her about for years had finally come TRUE! Especially, now that he was in a happy and healthy relationship with his first love… What was the point of admitting feelings she could do nothing about…


She shook her head. “Maya, I’m fine! Really, I am! I’m just a little tired that’s all! I mean those two were going at it till 4 this morning!”

“TILL 4 IN THE MORNING?! Wow! Get it Friar!” Riley jumped up and pulled Maya up with her. “Yeah, yeah.” She hissed. “Let’s go!”

Maya narrowed her eyes and pulled Riley’s face down to her level. “You promise you’re okay?”

“I promise! NOW LET’S GO! Before they wake up and we hear them start round 157!”

Maya was still unsure of her sneaky little Riles, but decided to believe her. She’d tell her if it was SUPER IMPORTANT. With a shrug, she linked arms with her favorite brunette and skipped out of the apartment. 

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anonymous asked:

Just out of curiosity, why is Logan your favourite of Rory's boyfriends in Gilmore Girls?

Oh boy, have you opened the floodgates. Rory/Logan was one of my first OTPs, so, this is like 12 years of attachment. Here we go.

First off, things I won’t tackle in this post in-depth: Logan vs. other boyfriends (because I don’t have the energy for shipwars & the like), or Logan in the revival (because to me, that wasn’t the Logan I know and thus I refused to accept it as canon).

Now, here we really go :)

Rory enters Season 5 in a weird place. She’s back to dating Dean and she’s trying to build up her professional life at the same time; basically she’s in a rut that she can’t get out of. She knows it, and she’s trying to gun herself out of it, but she keeps slipping back. And maybe she isn’t trying as hard as she could, because a rut is also comfortable and Rory has never liked change. She likes the familiar, and Dean is familiar. Writing is also familiar to her, and so she gets complacent (investigating illegally downloading music is so 2004, Rory.)

Being an official member of the Yale Daily News requires more from her. Her life at Yale and outside of Stars Hollow now requires more of her (attention, time, interest, energy, commitment, etc). She can’t exist in her old life and her new life at the same time, and overall, season 5 is her finding that out.

Then in walks Logan. Smart-mouthed, smug, privileged, quick-witted, attractive boy–just like the ones her mother always warned her about. And–because of that, and because she’s Rory–she doesn’t give him an inch. From their first real conversation, she has his number, and to her extreme surprise, he has hers. Their banter is almost as fast-paced as her and Lorelai’s. He challenges her, pushes her buttons, makes her think–he appeals to her intellect right from the beginning, and that is something Rory can’t resist.

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ROSE REVIEWS… THE X-FILES - S1.E5: The Jersey Devil

<< 1.4 Conduit —————————————- 1.6 Shadows >>

I was feeling snarky so decided to unwind with another of my very serious and scholarly X-Files recaps. The Jersey Devil is one of my more favourite S1 episodes because of the number of ridiculous things that happen…but how did it stand up to my vague attempts to quantify my love of this show rigorous scoring rubric? Find out under the cut with gifs and random unconnected observations galore…

Laugh now Scully… while you can…

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hey are u sad??? here are some funny band videos to cheer u up !!!

fall out boy


my chemical romance

panic! at the disco

pierce the veil

of mice & men

all time low

twenty one pilots

a day to remember

the brobecks

the academy is…

this took a rlly long time so it would be cool if you reblogged or added more vids bc i feel like im missing a lot of paramore, mcr, om&m, and atl but i cant think of what exactly. enjoy some laughter pals.

When Things Fell Apart: Part Two

​- MASTERLIST - Requested - 

I wrote part one back in June, if I’m correct it may have been the first ever imagine I posted (wOw) so here is the long awaited part two. Enjoy??

Some time had passed, my phone remained something distant to me throughout most of the day now. Too many people got involved, sides were taken, argued over, and all of it remained a permanent display online. The never ending pinging and ringing of my phone was enough to drive anyone to insanity. Everyday I received apologises from strangers about how things supposedly ended, when really I was unsure myself.

Messages directly from his friends were glanced at each night, various forms of apologies or confusion. How leading up to our demise that things seemed off with him, he acted distant and less talkative; I should’ve expected it really. Part of me blames myself for not seeing it sooner and all the excitement he had for going away and returning disheartened. That all of those hugs seemed less meaningful, all the late nights together had no true feeling, the words he told me over and over meant nothing to him.How naive was I? The signs were obvious but I denied it all, and for what? Just to end up even more broken than before?

The days of blankly staring at a wall that was once covered in memories we’d shared together, now in ruins on the ground and I had no care to remove the remains as they reminded me to perceiver on. Weeks spent hidden away to the point where my friends broke into my apartment and moved in to ensure I ate and drank enough, got some form of fresh air even if it meant sitting on the balcony for five minutes. That period was over.

So here I am now. I’ve moved on, I’m independent. I feel happier, well as happy as I can be for the meantime. Yet one phone call from the unexpected has resulted in me on a flight to visit what I once considered my second home.The place where so many memories had been made and I was apart of a family, one I had never expected to be with. Fiddling with the locket I held close to my heart I couldn’t help but feel anxious to see them all again, various scenarios circled in my mind but I was assured he would be away.

“Honey I miss you, we miss you. Please just, just visit us for the day. There’s something I need to give you and I can’t ship it, I refuse to.” Her exact words, I was missed. No mention of Luke, no mention of his new girlfriend. No apologies- I was just missed.

Walking out of the metal voyage I had been confined in with only my queries to keep me company a breath of fresh air was needed. Yet instead of something new or different it was a strong gust of nostalgia instead. I pictured myself here years ago, how he tightly held my hand that I couldn’t stop shaking with nerves about meeting his family. He kept telling me how much they’d love me, just like he did.

Now I stand alone, looking out to the airport and wandering inside. I don’t need anyone to hold my hand or ensure I am cared for or even remotely loved at this point. All I care about is seeing people who still want to acknowledge me, perhaps to see them one last time before shutting the door and locking it on this part of my life, leaving him with it and throwing away the key.

After leaving the airport and silently sitting in the taxi, listening to the drivers music in peace. Yet that song comes on, I freeze up. Any ounce of me that was relaxed or at ease had now become tense. Fibres became hard and hairs stood up on end at the sound of his voice, speaking up to break that sound I boldly asked him to change it. His voice was gone, but everything remained rigid. The sound was gone from the car but it continued to echo in my mind.

Watching everything pass by the words circled in my mind, thinking about how tightly he held my hand on the ride over. How he pointed out things that reminded him of childhood or the things he would get up to when he was at home with family. Yet now I see these things passing by the ghost of who he once was looms, shutting my eyes I can’t block it out. The singing, the words, the pictures, the memories. It’s all too much, I can’t do it.

Just as I go to speak to the driver, tell him to go back, take me to the airport but he stops. Trying to control the shaky breaths I have I turn and see it all through blurred vision. The driver looks back to me and I can’t move, the gaze he holds in his eyes says it all; he understands the emotion I’m storing.

Wiping my eyes repeatedly deep breathing is ineffective. I watched the drivers mouth move, he was talking to me but I couldn’t hear the words he was saying. Zoning in and out of the past and present I wanted to leave, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t be here.

It all hurt too much.

Sometimes we have to do things that hurt us, it isn’t something we want but sometimes need.” The wise words of a friend came to mind and I kept repeating that mantra as I opened the car door, walking out after paying the driver and holding onto my small bag as if my life depended on it.

The taxi disappeared leaving me to feel insignificant, I was too small, feeble walking the path leading to the door. I felt like I did years ago, except no one was encouraging me, helping the weight on my shoulders to be lifted whereas now it only grew with each step.

Quietly knocking on the front door just as my knuckles departed from the wood it opened. The familiar home sense warmed my heart, a big smile greeting me that I didn’t realise how much I missed or needed to see. Following a large joyful smile I was engulfed in a hug, the type that just radiates absence and longing to greet you again. Pulling away a small smile formed on my face as my eyes now dried, something I didn’t want to express was defeat, not to her, not to Liz. 

She placed her hands on my shoulders, taking a good long look at me. I knew she would see the dried tear marks that streaked my foundation or the crumpled black beneath my eyes after the long flight. How I was chewing about five pieces of gum to distract myself or the small bag I brought, how I don’t plan on staying. Yet besides these features she focuses on the locket I wear, the one she gave me for my first Christmas with them. In those few days I spent over the Christmas break it allowed me to form a close bond with Liz, she treated me like a daughter, then she gave me the locket. 

This is to keep close to your heart, whilst you wear this we are family. You’ll always be apart of this family and we all love you.” I remember her words like they were yesterday whilst I sat next to Luke by the tree, curled up together in our pyjamas. 

Now it serves as a reminder to me of the family I once had, but being here now makes me feel as if things haven’t changed. If only that could’ve been true. She invited me inside no matter how much I protested, she told me not to be silly but the atmosphere felt tense as I stepped inside. Thinking how I last entered in love with her son, now heart broken by him instead.

I tried to not look around and notice all of the pictures I used to laugh at or smile at whilst Liz gave a running commentary on what was happening in each photo. Instead I just stood still whilst she disappeared up the stairs, leaving me focused on my tattered shoes. 

Hearing my name being quietly spoken I lifted my head up, my whole body froze and I struggled to even blink. My mind screamed for me to turn around, walk out of that door and never look back, but with my feet firmly planted like cement I was stuck. Looking at him felt like some twisted nightmare, Liz said he wouldn’t be here, he was away, I never wanted to see him, I never planned to see him again. 

There he stood, lose joggers around his hips with a plain white top that outlined his muscles. Half asleep, groggy Luke. The same one I spoke to all those months ago when I found out the truth. “Hi.” I bluntly spoke, breaking the silence that hung around us whilst he stayed still half way down the stairs. 

“What, what’re you doing here?” He asked completely and utterly dumbfounded whilst he rubbed his eyes whilst I rolled mine. 

Shifting the weight from one foot to the other I looked past him, trying to see if there was any sign of Liz but with little luck I was stuck with him. “Don’t get too excited, I’m not here for you.” Sarcasm dripped like venom and I could see the flicker of pain in his eyes, yet part of me felt guilty whilst the rest of me felt nothing. 

If you told me three years ago this would’ve happened I would’ve accused you of lying. Yet here now in front of Luke it couldn’t seem more awkward, as if we were friends trying to be strangers, frenemies. Neither of us wanting to engage in a conversation I was just waiting to see her prance down the stairs like she owned the place in cute underwear and wrap her arms around him. 

Then, nothing. No one followed him down the stairs, instead he walked down and stood too close, too close for me to be comfortable with. I could smell the cologne I bought him on our first anniversary, the stubble that lined his jaw and the lip ring I used to play with now vacant from his lip. I could see him analysing me, I’ve changed too. Lost weight from forgetting to eat and oversleeping at times, or how I have permanent purple marks beneath my eyes from the nights where I thought of him continuously. How the smile I always wore was hidden from his view, but I still wore the locket. 

“You, you look good.” He tried to force a smile and I couldn’t help but scoff. 

“Don’t bother Luke, we both know I look like crap.” I cut him off, “Where’s your girlfriend?” Raising an eyebrow to him I could see a shade of crimson cross his cheeks and he finally backed away, giving me some space. 

Scratching the back of his head I could see his eyes flickering towards his room upstairs. “She’s in a hotel.” He was lying through his teeth, but it was second nature to him now I could tell. 

Nodding I went along with his lies, the continuous stream that follows through his lips. Part of me expected to get an apology, for him to have some sincerity about it all but nothing, there seemed like no remorse in his tone or how he acted. Footsteps could be heard down the stairs and glancing up there was Liz hovering, watching the two of us interacting. 

Luke glanced to his mum who just wore a large smile across her face, shaking his head he walked off into the kitchen. Looking to Liz who held a small box in her hand she took the last few steps towards me and I couldn’t help but put the pieces together. “You, you’re trying to fix us aren’t you?” I shook my head in disbelief, “How could I have been so naive, I should’ve known.” A small laugh escaped me as I brought my hand to my mouth, holding back anything else I had to say. 

Liz tried to hold my shoulders but I kept walking on the spot, “It’s not like that sweetie. There is a reason I brought you here, just take this.” She tried to pass me the wooden box, in a pristine condition that shined in the light. I shook my head but it was forced into my hands. “Open it when you’re going home.” She whispered. “He still loves you dear, he is just too afraid to admit the mistake he has made.” With that she leaves me in silence, still confused a pondering look remains on my face but all Liz does is nod. 

Walking towards the door I can hear Luke singing to himself along with the radio, the last noise I hear is Liz mumbling an apology on his behalf. 

Part Three //  Four // Five // Six // Seven // Eight 

Mike sauntered into the box set aside for families. He was wearing a Baker jersey and had their 11 month old in a harness on his chest. Jacqueline “Jackie” Baker-Lawson was fast asleep, clutching her tiny fists in the front of his shirt. Evelyn walked over to him. “Does this make you a WAG?” She asked. Around them, the other women were clustering around, looking at Jackie.

“Well I couldn’t take Jackie to the field it’s 105 degrees out there.” Mike said. “Otherwise we’d have been right behind the plate to yell at mommy when she ignores her catcher’s calls.” Jackie let out a sleepy gurgle. Mike pressed a kiss to the back of her head.

“Uh huh.” Evelyn said. “But you’ll take her into the clubhouse to have her give high fives to the team.”

Mike frowned. “I’m failing to see your point.”

“It’s unsanitary.” Evelyn said.

“It’s tradition.” He countered, going over to the buffet table. “Is that sushi? Damn I should have retired years ago.”

“Except.” Evelyn smirked. “Years ago you wouldn’t necessarily have had your amazing, better than you deserve, wife.”

Mike gasped and covered Jackie’s ears. “You take that back.”

Evelyn chuckled. “Champagne?” She asked. Mike shook his head.

“Jackie and I need to focus.” He said. “Nothing between us and the game.” Jackie woke up to spit up her breakfast. Mike chuckled, looking at his daughter in exasperated fondness. “Except a changing station.”

5 minutes into the pregame commentary and Mike was ready to assassinate someone.

“This is the first game Ginny Baker is starting in since her pregnancy.”

“I think it’s Baker Lawson now.” One of the announcers replied.

“That’s not what her jersey says.”

The round table laughed. Mike tightened his fists and looked down at Jackie. “See sweetie. Those are what we call assholes. You are not allowed to date anyone like that. Ever…actually no dating in general.”

“Mike.” Evelyn warned.

“That’s the other team.” he pointed at the Cardinals. “They’re losers. Their catcher is a guy named Trevor Davis and he’s a buttface.” He grinned as Jackie reached for his face and tangled her fingers in his beard.

“Da” She said.It had been her first word and Mike had got himself banned to the couch for calling everyone they knew to declare that his daughter liked him better.

“That’s right, I am the most handsome man to be behind home plate and way better than buttface Davis.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. Evelyn rolled her eyes.

“Fatherhood has made you even more of a narcissist.” She remarked.

The commentary got worse as the game went on. Mike was grinding his teeth as three men in suits, who’d never met Ginny. speculated on her weight change, balance, and whether or not Mike approved of her taking the mound again.

“Before she got pregnant, Mike Lawson would be sitting behind the plate, rain or shine, but today he’s nowhere to be seen.”

Mike grabbed his phone and took a picture of him and Jackie, smiling with the field in the background. He instagramed it with the caption, too hot outside for baby, but still supporting our favorite Padre.

Evelyn liked it almost immediately.

By the third inning Mike was pacing back and forth, glaring at the field.

“I’m going to-”

“No.” Evelyn said.

“But Livan’s-”


“Just for one-”

“Mike.” Evelyn glared at him. “The new captain will handle him.”

It wasn’t that Mike doubted Blip, it was just that he wanted Ginny to have the best first possible game back and he didn’t want Livan screwing it up by making the wrong calls.

“It doesn’t matter if its the catcher who messes up.” He told Jackie. “The pitcher gets the blame.” He watched as Livan called for a curve ball. “No, her curve isn’t ready yet.” He grumbled. “But if I know your mom she knows that and…”

Ginny shook him off and threw her fastball. Mike noted the irritated shift in Livan’s stance, but the batter missed.

“That’s my Baker.” He grinned, pointing to the field. “That’s a strike. It means Livan’s never going to be as good of a catcher for mommy as I was.”

“Da.” Jackie agreed.

“That’s right.” Mike gave her a little bounce. “Making you was the best thing that ever happened to my ego.”

Ginny was changing when she heard an excited uproar from outside. She rolled her eyes, knowing exactly who was out there. The door opened and Mike poked his head in.

“I could have been indecent.” She said as he walked in.

“That comes later.” He shut the door. “Besides. Your two biggest fans are here.” Jackie was sleeping. Ginny took her and gave Mike a kiss. “You waved off Livan.” he mumbled. “It was awesome.”

“What happened to the angry captain who told me to trust my catcher?” Ginny teased, stealing another kiss.

“No, I told you to trust me.” Mike corrected. “It’s completely different.”

There was a knock on the door.

“Go away.” Mike said. Ginny rolled her eyes.

“Come in.”

Salvamini poked his head in. “Hey. The guys were wondering if we could hang out with Jackie.”

As though she knew they’d asked for her. Jackie opened her eyes and yawned.

“You woke her up.” Mike accused, reaching for her. “And now she’s going to want her dad to-”

“Ma.” Jackie insisted, grabbing hold of Ginny’s shirt. Mike’s jaw dropped and Ginny couldn’t help the surge of satisfaction she felt as she sauntered to the door.

“Start calling everyone we know, Lawson.” She said. “I believe baby has a new favorite.” She followed Salvamini out the door holding Jackie up. “Who wants to say hi to the cutest Padre?”


<< 1.2 Deep Throat  —————————————- 1.4 Conduit >>

Once more with feeling! In an effort to remind myself why I love this fandom and why I keep punishing myself with all things X-File, DD & GA related I’m back with another instalment of my gif heavy, sarcasm infused X-Files reviews. Prepare to be whelmed (is that the correct word for exactly the correct balance of over/underwhelming? Thoughts?)

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(hi yes I’m very angry about my hometown so have a thousand words of fluffy stevebucky fic featuring nanny!steve) 

mainline // part 1

The thing about kids is: they distort time. When Steve arrives at the coffee shop to find it not yet open, he just stares stupidly at the closed door. The baby on his hip babbles – softly, for now. He didn’t even bring the carrier. 

A long-haired man comes to stand beside him and Steve says, “Oh – sorry – I don’t think they’re open yet, I’m a dumbass –” 

“Long night?” the guy says, looking amused. 

Steve smiles wanly because, yeah, it was, but not in the way that this frankly beautiful guy is implying. Between the still-slightly-sweaty hair pulled back into a ponytail, the clingy musk of cigarette smoke, and the, oh lord is that mascara? his lashes are so long – everything about him screams ‘just rolling home from a rollicking night out.’ 

“Don’t worry,” the guy says, jangling an industrial grade keyring clipped to his belt loop, “I got ya covered.” 

He unlocks the grate and slides it open. Steve and the baby both breathe a sigh of relief. 

“So what can I get you?” the guy asks, flipping on the lights. “Something with a couple dozen extra shots?” 

“Just a black coffee,” Steve says, because he’s not made of money and also because this guy is opening up half an hour early for him. “Listen, I’ll go wait outside and let you open up in peace –” 

“Not gonna kick a dude with a baby out on the street,” the guy says, eyes crinkling, as he efficiently goes about the opening process. 

Steve is waiting outside the hole in the wall coffee shop again. It opens at 7am and it’s 6:51, so only nine, no, eight minutes now. Steve has a head full of concrete from finishing a commission until 3 and waking up at 5 to get to this nannying gig in time. He knows from experience that if doesn’t get caffeine into his system soon, the infant shriek will chip at his skull like a finely tuned scalpel.  

“Bro,” the guy says, “again? I’m gonna take this as a compliment.” 

He is being kind, for Steve is sitting directly on the sidewalk with the baby chilling in his lap. He meant to stand up in a few minutes so that he would appear less down-and-out when the barista arrived, but this is the current state of things and what’s done is done. 

Steve shrugs and expertly gets to his feet while supporting the baby and keeping his back straight. “You should. Coffee’s good.” 

“And I’m the only place that opens before nine in this neighborhood,” the guy says, opening the gates and ushering Steve inside. 

“That does help,” Steve admits, again getting a whiff of cigarette smoke and general club aroma. It’s a Thursday morning which, okay, maybe people with actual social lives go out on Wednesday nights, but Steve doesn’t know how this guy is managing to pull an all-nighter and then roll into work directly after. 

“You can make me wait outside, for real, until seven,” Steve says. “I don’t want you to get in trouble with your boss or anything.” 

“I am the boss,” the guy says, lips quirking. 

“Oh,” Steve says, floored. “Sorry, I just –” thought you were way too young to own your own business, “Sleep deprived, you know?” 

“It’s cool,” the guy says. He’s staring at the baby on Steve’s hip with an odd look, but then gestures to a barstool. “Have a seat. Gonna get you this new thing I’ve just concocted. Mainline caffeine.” 

“Oh, I –” Steve’s been living on a tight budget for years but he still hasn’t figured out the politest way to say ‘I really appreciate your kind gesture but please just give me whatever’s cheapest because I’m broke.’ He instead smiles, figures he’ll make it work, and says, “Thanks.” 

The lady whose kid he nannies for on Tuesdays and Thursdays flew out her front door this morning saying, “Oh the coffee machine’s broken – hope that’s not a problem!” 

“Not at all,” Steve said sunnily, dying inside. 

“Here ya go,” the guy says, pushing a mug across the counter to Steve. “On the house. And I’ll get your black coffee started now.” 

“Oh – thanks,” Steve says, a real smile breaking through his exhaustion. The baby slaps its hands contentedly on the counter and Steve downs the mug. “Holy shit, you weren’t kidding.” 

“I do know a thing or two about coffee,” the guy says. “I’m Bucky, by the way. Owner. Founder. Patron saint of the tired and the desperate.” 

“I’ll worship you till the end of the line if you keep making these,” Steve says, and he thinks he’s not imagining that Bucky’s eyes darken. “Bet this makes opening a hell of a lot easier.” 

“Sure,” Bucky says. He helps himself to a cup of coffee and leans against the counter. “Though I have someone come take over for me at ten, so I get to go straight home and crash.” 

“Ah,” Steve says, fitting the puzzle pieces together. “Bartender?” 

Bucky shakes his head. “Bouncer,” and yeah, Steve can see that now: everything from Bucky’s stance to the way he’s built screams ex-military. 

“Less crowded,” says Steve, which doesn’t exactly make sense out loud, without his internal commentary, but Bucky smiles wanly. 

“Yeah. Exactly.” 

The baby spits up the remainder of its breakfast then and is very put out about it. Steve gets to his feet and hoists the baby onto his shoulder, patting his back soothingly. Bucky passes him some napkins but Steve waves him off. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, and tosses down the burp cloth slung around his neck. “Way more absorbent.” 

Dude,” Bucky says, “you know what kind of germs are on this counter? Gross,” and Steve laughs. 

“Keep it,” he says. This lady insists on throwing away burp cloths daily and buying a whole new round when a box is gone instead of throwing them in the washer. Steve’s given up trying to understand the minds of rich people. 

The baby starts fussing in earnest now in a way that suggests nap time is imminent. Steve grabs his to-go coffee and forks over some cash. “Thanks,” he says. “See you next time.” 

“I hope so,” says Bucky, and his eyes follow Steve on his way out, giving him a hopeful jolt. 

It’s a few weeks until Steve sees Bucky again. He stops by the shop mid-morning one day, when a three-month-old would not stop fussing unless Steve was holding him and in constant motion, but there is a redheaded woman behind the counter instead. 

Steve tries to ignore the way disappointment settles in his stomach and orders in a carrying whisper. 

The woman eyes the baby with a professional air. “Three months?” 


“Won’t quiet unless you’re holding him?” 


“You tried sitting him on top of the dryer?” 

“Family doesn’t has one.” 

“Ouch,” the redhead says and definitely slips an extra shot into his coffee. Steve likes this place more and more. 

He manages to wait until 7:15 after a 5:30 start, which feels like mid-afternoon with a teething infant. 

“Hey,” Bucky says, straightening from where he was lounging behind the counter. Except for a few customers rushing out with their to-go cups, the place is empty. “How’s it going?” 

“Little rough this morning,” Steve says with a grin, because he has the stupidest crush, “but nothing coffee can’t fix.” 

Bucky is giving the baby a strange look again, but starts up a new brew of dark roast. “What’s this little dude’s name?” 

“Her name is –” and Steve has to stop to think because he’s forgotten for a moment what day it is, “Brynlee. This is Brynlee,” because, again, rich white people. 

“Shit man, how many kids you got?” Bucky says. “I mean, that’s definitely a different baby, right?” 

“Oh, they aren’t mine,” Steve near-shouts, the sudden comprehension making him laugh. Brynlee startles against his chest. “I’m a nanny,” he explains, and now Bucky is helplessly giggling too. 

“So all those muscles are from lifting kids all day?” he says. “Pretty good method.” 

“Yeah, and they pay me for the workout.” Steve stays and chats for a bit but then the morning rush starts and Brynlee’s mom calls him in a panic because she has an hour break at work and wants Steve to come down to the office to meet her so she can see the baby for fifteen minutes. 

He rushes off, waving goodbye in his wake, but Bucky’s busy with a customer and doesn’t see. 

Steve gets a call from an unknown number a few days later when he’s actually at home and he’s in a decent mood, so he picks up instead of letting it go to voicemail. 

“Uh hey,” the guy on the other end of the line says. “My friend Clint recommended you – you revamped all his branding last year? Uh, basically I’m looking for a new logo and new business cards. And signage. And digital versions of all that, if you do that too.” 

“Sure,” Steve says. “I can do mostly everything.” 

“A jack-of-all-trades, huh,” and his voice is warm and nice and Steve hesitates a moment, because it sounds so familiar. “Well, good. I run a coffee shop down on –” 

“Bucky?” Steve interrupts and there’s a pause on the other side of the phone. 

“Is this the hot nanny? I mean – oh god, I’m a disaster,” and Steve just laughs because he realizes he’s never told Bucky his name. 

“Yeah, it’s me. It’s Steve,” he says. 

“Well, Steve,” says Bucky, and Steve can hear the smile even through the phone, “why don’t you come over for a cup of coffee and we can talk about this in person.”

(update: read part two here // ao3 link)

sizaphael + hogwarts au “we’re quidditch players, and you’re the announcer, and we’re trying really hard not to notice that your comments about us are becoming less and less about how we’re playing, and more and more about how we look in our quidditch uniform”

  • simon still couldn’t believe he got position of quidditch announcer. he tried out for it as a dare from clary and for raziel’s sake, he wasn’t even a quidditch fan! he had a limited knowledge on all the techniques and terminology and he couldn’t even tell you 5 quidditch teams (he could tell you 4 though. hufflepuff, slytherin, ravenclaw and gryffindor)
  • but apparently professor garroway thought he had potential and had an entertaining commentary so here he is, furiously cramming all the terminology that he needed to know the day before his first match.
  • clary didn’t talk to simon for an hour after he got the position (“i just wanted to see you embarrass yourself! i wasn’t expecting you to actually get it! this is clearly house bias, he’s not allowed to give the position to people in his house!”). she relented after simon begged for her help and explained he probably got it because luke gave it to him because he’s just like his daughter and wants simon to suffer learning all this, frankly ridiculous, terminology.
  • she still claims she should have got the position but she also recognizes she’d spend most of the time showing house pride  complimenting slytherin while dissing hufflepuff. simon on the other hand, is incredibly unbiased, mostly because he has no idea what’s going on and couldn’t tell you who was on the hufflepuff team.
  • “ok this is definitely the waffle,” simon says with confidence, as clary tests him on each quidditch term.
  • “….simon it’s called a quaffle,” clary sighs, as she puts her head in her hands. it’s going to be a long night.
  • “see that makes a lot more sense! i was wondering why the ball was named after a breakfast food…” simon says. “come on clary, i got this! i already knew about the sitch!” (he refuses to acknowledge he’s totally fucked for tomorrow.)
  • “the golden snitch,” clary corrects, groaning as she downs her 4th cup of coffee. she regrets welcoming simon into her train compartment 5 years ago.
  • simon thinks he’s relatively ready as he settles himself in the announcer’s box. he gives clary a thumbs up, who flips him a rather rude gesture.
  • “you’ve got this, right simon?” luke asks him from his seat right next to him. luke didn’t think simon needed his help, but just in case…..
  • “course i do luke! i know all about the punchers and runners! kidding, kidding, i know they’re beaters and chasers,” simon assured luke, who was about to correct him.
  • “you know you’re terrible at jokes right?” luke asked him amusedly, with a grin on his face.
  • “that’s why you hired me, isn’t it!” simon cheerfully joked back. he wasn’t worried. he knew his dad wouldn’t give this spot to him unless he knew he had this in the bag.
  • too bad none of them saw simon’s lack of filter coming.
  • it was going pretty well at first. simon introduced everyone and their positions correctly with little trouble (“you wouldn’t believe the amount of restraint it took me to not introduce sebastian morgenstern as resident dickhead. i should get an award to be honest.”)
  • until it came to raphael santiago, slytherin beater and izzy lightwood, hufflepuff chaser. aka the loves of his life who don’t know it yet. aka simon hasn’t talked to them and just admired them from afar because he’s a wuss.
  • (“clary why didn’t you tell me they played quidditch!!!” “i thought you knew everything about them??” “you know i tune out as soon as there’s quidditch talk!!! how was i supposed to know they played?”)
  • “and finally, playing slytherin’s beaters are elliott jackson and raphael santiago, who’s really working the uniform because damn does his ass look good in those trousers!” simon says, his eyes transfixed on the shape of raphael’s ass.
  • there’s silence before the slytherin stands starting hooting and cheering and simon’s mortified. he cannot believe he said that out loud. into a microphone while everyone’s listening.
  • he watches in horror as raphael turns to face simon. there’s a moment of eye contact before raphael simply smirks and winks at him before flying to his starting position.
  • simon feels like his face is on fire. he’s not sure if this is better than getting punched in the face by raphael. but anyway, the show must go on and simon awkwardly clears his throat and begins to announce the hufflepuff team.
  • “and playing hufflepuff’s awesome chasers are maia roberts, bat velasquez and the beautiful angel izzy lightwood, who looks like she just stepped out of a pantene commercial because damn does she looks gorgeous with her hair whipping around her face!” simon announces, his eyes wide as sunlight shrouds izzy, making her look like an angel
  • the hufflepuff stands break out in cheers at simon’s words and simon’s life flashes right before his eyes. he’s honestly going to die he did it again?! someone needs to shut him up right now. he glances at clary, who fell off her seat laughing so hard and luke, who’s valiantly trying to hide his grin and laughter. he makes eye contact with headmistress herondale, who’s giving him an evil glare and he quickly focuses his attention back to the field.
  • and lo and behold, izzy “actual angel that descended from heaven to grace us all with her presence” lightwood is staring at him grinning. she waves to him and blows him a kiss with a wink before she flies to her starting position.
  • simon feels like he’s in a dream. not only did he publicly compliment two of the hottest people he’s ever seen in his life, but he got winks in return. he didn’t even get this lucky in dreams in all honesty.
  • he decided it was a one off thing, and those winks didn’t really mean anything beyond “hey thanks for complimenting me creepy guy now leave me alone”. he was also pretty certain he had his filter under control after embarrassing himself twice in front of the whole hogwarts population.
  • except he really didn’t. he really thought it was the end of that. congratulations simon, you played yourself.
  • his commentating wasn’t bad surprisingly. he got most of the game down (“that guy who i think is carlos kim? threw that huge ball which i definitely know isn’t called the waffle to kamala young, who did a sick loop de loop while catching it that’s awesome!)
  • it was just his filter!!! it wasn’t working!!! he couldn’t help himself complimenting raphael and izzy, even when they weren’t even doing anything!
  • “and raphael hits the one of the bludgers, which i like to call the zoomy ball, and damn does it make his flexing biceps look amazing! not to mention his hair is still perfectly coiffed. how does he do it people? the world may never know. and professor garroway is giving me a look so i’m going to focus now. which i should have been doing in the first place, sorry guys.”
  • “izzy catches the quaffle with one hand and zooms her way down the pitch! her face of course looks flawless as usual even though there should be sweat streaming down her face and herondale is giving me the evil glare for the 57th time today so i’m just going to talk about the game now. again which i should be doing since it’s my job!”
  • eventually the game ends after two and a half hours and hufflepuff scored more goals but it was slytherin’s seeker, magnus bane, that tied the game.
  • “and that’s a wrap folks! hufflepuff and slytherin have tied! well you guys might call it tied, but i personally believe it’s a double win! both teams played excellently today, especially players raphael santiago and izzy lightwood, but that’s just my personal opinion. and i’m acting like you guys don’t already know, sorry my verbal filter is just not functioning today!”
  • simon was pretty sure that was the end of it and so he got up to leave when he saw two players flying towards him on their broomsticks. oh boy. it was raphael and izzy. he was so certain he was going to get punched in the face today.
  • “good game huh?” simon blurted out nervously as izzy and raphael approached him with smirks on their faces
  • “it was awesome. we both ended up winners apparently,” izzy teased, smiling at simon, who was blushing furiously. “and this might just be me, but i believe all winners deserve a reward don’t they?”
  • and with that, she grabbed simon by the collar and pulled him into a kiss, which he was all too willing to fall into. he could hear the stands of all 4 houses cheering and screaming behind them, and he’s 99% sure he can hear luke wolf whistling behind him.
  • they broke apart, izzy grinning like she just won the lottery and simon looking like all his dreams came true.
  • before simon could regain his wits raphael smirked and pointed out “i believe i was a winner too.”
  • and dragged simon into a kiss too, and simon held on for dear life, never letting go in case this actually was a dream. somehow the cheers got even louder and simon definitely heard clary screaming “THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND RIGHT THERE, GET IT SIMON!!!”
  • after that event, the three were crowned the cutest relationship at hogwarts, until two months later, when alec lightwood serenaded magnus bane with a song that he had spent months on in front of the whole student body in the great hall and made out with him until they were separated by a furious headmistress herondale.
  • (“they’re trying to steal our crown gentlemen, we can’t let them do that,” izzy hissed later on that day. still, she was extremely proud that her shy brother, who rather be left out of the limelight, had the guts to ask out the guy he’s liked for ages. and accordingly to raphael, magnus gushed for ages on how sweet the song was and how beautiful alec looked and sounded singing his song.)
  • what’s most surprising is that simon got to keep his spot as the announcer. apparently the people loved his personality and commentary and he thought herondale would have tried to put a stop to this but he suspects luke pulled a few strings.
  • (“and that, distinguished guests, is how simon lewis owes me, clary fray, his life because i managed to get him the coolest position in the world as hogwarts quidditch announcer while getting him into a relationship with two amazing people” “you’ll be my children’s favorite aunt, don’t worry”)

In the future no one eats in restaurants. Restaurants still exist, and the poor and middle class still dine there. But no one eats at the fine restaurants anymore. The food is served only to be mocked and humiliated. It’s a high art that’s evolved into a serious religion. A kind of anti-communion where the more complicated and breathtakingly rare the dish, the more cruel and dismissive the commentary.  

The horror of what we’ve become will annihilate you.  And you will cry and weep until you laugh and laugh. Only to cry and laugh some more. It’s such a release.

One evening I was in one of the best restaurants in Miami Beach called Nanoo Nanoo. One of the specialties was an ancient tortoise’s head where the top of the skull was removed, revealing a golden glistening brain. It was surrounded by a color wheel of bluebird eyes on a bed of red, rare, edible orchids.

“What the fuck is this stupid pile of shit.” hissed Tad, our priest.

Tad is the best, with his wild David Lynchian hair and his uniform that looked like a reverse white on black Han Solo outfit.

“OMG!” Tad continued. “That turtle was 150 years old and still married?! What a fucking dipshit! And those orchids are specially crossbred to treat baby cancer. But they’re way too expensive and hard to grow.  And no one gives a shit about birds,” he laughed, snapping his finger above his head. “Only fucking psychos like birds.”

He threw the whole platter on the floor and yelled at an old man to clean it up. “Pronto!”

I wanted to fucking stab Tad’s eyes out. He truly is one of the best. The first time I went to Nanoo Nanoo I almost killed him. I had to be physically restrained. I know enough now to let it all run through me. Soon the sobs will rack my entire body. We all end up sobbing at how terrible we’ve become. Then we all just look at each other, blubbering like babies, and we laugh and laugh.  It’s all sooo incredibly freeing.

You’re gonna hate the future at first. But don’t worry, you’ll grow to love it.

Inumuta Houka: A character analysis

If you know me for any amount of time, you would know that I love Houka Inumuta. He’s obviously pretty cute and well designed and I have a type for pretty asshole characters, but when people ask me why I actually like him, I have a hard time explaining it. In truth, I think he’s a very interesting character, for several different reasons. This character analysis is kind of me trying to truly and completely explain all the different aspects of him that I really like and also maybe bring light to what he’s like as a character since the majority of the klk fandom either ignores him or makes him just the ‘tech guy’.

(look at this smile he’s so cute but anyway let’s begin)

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