they know what ya did

Sincerely, Me

Evan: In an email I received from you two weeks ago I noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase

Evan: It changed the meaning. Did you intend this? One key and you’ve consumed my waking days.

Evan: It says “Dear Evan Hansen,”

Evan: With a comma after dear

Evan: You’ve written “Dear, Evan Hansen”

You can try prying grape coloured young Zarkon out of my naturally cold hands.

anonymous asked:

Hi, hm, I sent an ask a while ago, but I think tumblr ate it, so I'm sending it again. 😅 Sooo, a while ago you said something about the FFF AU that got me thinking... You said that their world is ruled by Google, right? ...did you mean Google as in the company or as in the ego? 😅

I thought I answered this but I was wrong that was a different question

Yes, the company Google rules the world, but they’re not as cool of a company as they are in this universe. And google owns youtube. (and in this universe, the entire entertainment industry)

So, people already let Google home and Echo into their house. But hey, a powerful company like that could instead issue out a massive army of personal robots for answering questions and doing whatever you ask. What a glorious invention! Everyone must have a Google IRL in their home! 

Everyone must have a Google IRL in their home at all times.

John, trying very hard to subtly communicate through chess how to kill the Hunger, while his self-grown eldritch cosmic horror glares down all around them. His last speech to Merle in the Stolen Century Arc was how he was a motivational speaker who convinced his universe to become said eldritch cosmic horror so they could basically eat god. 

Merle, seemingly oblivious to Johns desperate attempts at communicating without being subjected to a fate worse than death.

‘So John You haven’t really told me about what ya did before you were a world crushing avatar for a gigantic evil force. You know, what did ya do for a living?’

Me: Oh John honey, you are fucked.

10

cause it is all about you,
it’s been all about you
seconds feel like millenniums
when I’m without you

how much of human life
is lost in waiting?

Me: *sat on the bus listening to the Ninjago OST* “Gonna reach that place we call Ninjago!”

Bus: *Stops at a bus stop with a Ninjago movie ad*

Me:

Originally posted by fabulousnerdgurl

The Christmas Spirt

Prompt: “You remind me of the Grinch, you know? Except his heart grows three sizes and you stay and asshole.”

Warnings: swearing, angst, a little bit of fluff

Word Count: 2082 (oops)

A/N: i love christmas so much (maybe a little too much) this is for @nataliarxmanxva ‘s writing challenge

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Slytherin!Tom AU - Three

One | Two // Four | Epilogue

Artwork for Slytherin!Tom & Hufflepuff!Reader made by my love Bila aka @trashholland 💚🖤 + 💛🖤 (I literally cried, thank you so much again. I love you!)


“So, you up for it?” I laughed lightly, taking Tom’s proposal as a joke. We had been hanging around each other for a few weeks now – almost a month and a half, actually. We hadn’t been on an ‘actual’ date, hell, I didn’t even know if that’s what Tom wanted. Sometimes he’d come off as more friendly than usual, then he’d distance himself. We only ever really talked outside of class, when he wasn’t around his Slytherin path. Something like that might’ve thrown me off, but he had defended me every time one of his ‘friends’ ridiculed me. So, I left it alone.

“A quidditch match?” Tom shrugged, sitting up on my bed as he watched me pace around, looking for my Charms book. “Why would I want to go to a quidditch match? I don’t even thoroughly understand it.” Tom laughed, causing me to smile, just like his laugh always did.

“I don’t know! We could go together – my buddy’s part of the team–.”

“And by ‘buddy’ you mean Nicholas? The same Nicholas who doesn’t make his disgust toward me the least bit subtle?” Tom’s shoulders slouched – I knew he wasn’t anything like Nicholas, which made me confused as to why he’d want to associate himself with him. “I’m sorry, I just don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?” I could tell Tom was quickly becoming annoyed with the subject, but I couldn’t drop it. I wanted – no, needed – to know why Tom gave Nicholas the time of day.

“Why are you friends with him?” Drop it, Hufflepuff. I shook my head, trying to shake the voice inside of my head out – trying to silence the rational part of me.

“This again?” Tom got up from the bed, walking up to me. “Nicholas – he’s been my friend since I was assigned Slytherin – a lot of people didn’t think I belonged here. They punked me around – Nick, he saw something in me.”

“And that’s your standard? Nicholas’ standards are yours? That seems a little low, in my opinion. You could be so much better–!” Tom’s chest was rising and falling rapidly, his breaths quick as he walked up to me, causing me to stumble back slightly, colliding with my desk.

“Better? Like who? Like you, Hufflepuff?” I visibly shrunk, not hearing my house name come out so venomously from Tom – only hearing the word stumble out of his nervous lips as he fumbled for his words when I gave him the flower. “That’d be nice, right? If everyone was all smiles, ‘thank you’s’, rainbows and shit like you guys, right?” I shook my head, swallowing thickly to relieve my dry throat.

“No, Tom I–!”

“You what? You didn’t know this was coming? I’m a fucking Slytherin, for christ’s sake. What the fuck did you expect?” I kept quiet, my hands trembling from Tom’s sudden outburst, not realizing his voice had risen until he cleared his throat. He shook his head at me. “You know what? Don’t bother coming to the game.” He started to walk away and toward the door, causing me to reach my hand out and grasp onto his wrist.

“Tom, wait,” my hand fell back to my side after Tom forcefully pulled his hand away from mine.

“We should just – not be around each other. ‘You could be so much better’.” He mocked my words from earlier. I shook my head, my bottom lip quivering slightly.

“Tom, that isn’t – that’s not what I meant.” He shrugged.

“Maybe not – but maybe it’s what you should have said.” And before I could say anything else, he was out of my door. I groaned, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip to stop myself from crying. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

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3

A lesson in counting

By the Serpentine Generals

Today’s episode was brought to you by the number 3, which is what you get when you take away 1 from 4

Reita and Uruha vs a girl who has a boyfriend and four fuck buddies (Rajigaze 2/17)

Dark Side Mail

Reita (reading mail): “Last time Ruki and Kai were doing the radio, I sent them mail asking for advice because I was meeting one of my guy friends and he told me to come in something sexy, and I didn’t know what to wear. Kai was like, ‘so this is your boyfriend then?’ but he’s not my boyfriend, he’s just a friend with benefits. He has a family, and I have a boyfriend as well, but this guy is a lot more well-off financially, and can give me experiences that my boyfriend can’t, so I hang out with him sometimes. But I don’t consider it cheating, I think it’s the same as just going out to eat. My boyfriend is who I really love; it’s still better than if we were married and I was having an affair. I just want to experience everything I can before I’m married. I guess most people would think it’s bad, wouldn’t they. I have three other [friends with benefits], but I guess I should break it off with all of them and be loyal to my boyfriend? All my girl friends do this too, so I don’t really know the general opinion. Please tell me!”

Uruha: Oh???

Reita:  Oh!!!

Uruha: Oh!!!

Reita: OH!!

Uruha: OH!!!!! This is a cheating bitch isn’t it!!!

Reita: Well…….yep that’s exactly what this is.

Uruha: That’s messed up…

Reita: But she doesn’t feel that way, she thinks it’s no different from just going out to eat with someone.

Uruha: It’s that kinda casual relationship [people have] these days…

Reita: Well this is just how she personally feels about it…

Uruha: And the guy is married too, right?

Reita: Yeah yeah yeah, like I wonder how his wife feels about it…like, the girl is saying it’s more acceptable than if she were married and cheating

Uruha: Uh she is already cheating lmao

Reita: Like I don’t know if I’d call it acceptable…anyway she says most people would probably think it’s bad, what do you think about that?

Uruha: I don’t know, I feel like so many people are doing the same thing, so you can’t really get anyone’s honest opinion about it…people just kind of let it slide, you know? Like, oh my friends are doing it, so whatever.

Reita: Yeah, for sure.

Uruha: That’s how behaviour spreads among the human race. [ALIEN CONFIRMED]

Reita: …Are you mad?

Uruha: It’s the same with drugs.

Reita: Right, drugs, and disease…

Uruha: Oh am I allowed to talk about this?

Reita: Yeah yeah it’s fine

Uruha: Well, I mean, people start doing it because everybody’s doing it, you know?

Reita: Mhm…

Uruha: Mhm…I mean, it would be nice if we could spread good things…

Reita: Mhm.

Uruha: But this….this isn’t good, like…have some self-consciousness.

Reita: Self-consciousness (laughs)

Uruha: Heheheh

Reita: And like she’s doing this with three other people…

Uruha: Well that’s not surprising.

Reita: I guess her boyfriend can’t satisfy her sexually?

Uruha: No I don’t think so…I think she really does value true love…but she’s just getting influenced by people around her…she thinks she needs more [partners]…to you know like…look better? Idk

Reita: Ohh, socially? So she can brag like, I have this many..

Uruha: Yeah, you know, like that…

Reita: Pyramid?

Uruha: No, not pyramid…

Reita: Oh, like Caste?

Uruha: Yeah, like Caste!

this is what they are talking about i’m screaming

if u have no fuck buddies ur a farm worker

Reita: I guess you gotta have more, huh?

Uruha: Yeah…

Reita: When is she gonna stop tho? I mean, she can’t just keep going forever…

Uruha: Hmmm…

Reita: I mean, she has a boyfriend and everything.

Uruha: Yeah….I think when she get’s older, she will realize.

Reita: Yeh maybe…ya ok…..but what I really wanna know is, what did she end up wearing?

(both laugh)

Uruha: Well Kai said she’s not allowed [to wear something sexy] so…

Reita: Oh, if it’s not her boyfriend?

Uruha: Yeah.

Reita: Well, if that guy wasn’t married, I could still see it being kinda okay [wearing something sexy not cheating lol] but since he is, like…there has to be some restrictions, you know…

Uruha: Hmm….yeah….this wasn’t Dark, this was just…heavy…

Sorry if it's a wee bit long, this seemed to best method of sending it. Whaddya think?

vitalpen submitted:

“Why don’t you just KILL me and get it over with?”

“Huh?  Kill you?”  The toon dropped his smile for just a moment.  Was this real?  Had those words actually just been said?  The giggles came first.  Then the giggles graduated to chuckles, then laughter, then guffaws, and finally full blown cackles. They echoed around the two endlessly, soaking them both in just how funny it was.

When finally, finally, Bendy had gotten it all out and the aftershock wave of giggles had passed, he rubbed the tears from his eyes.  “Oh, Henry, you’re a RIOT. Trust me, if I’d wanted to kill you…” he took the man’s shirt in his hand and wrenched him up, speaking with an unhinged glee through gritted teeth, “YOU’D ALREADY BE DEAD.”

He let go as roughly as he could.  Taking a few paces backward and turning around, breathing to compose himself.  The squeak of his bulbous shoes made him wince.  Every step, night or day, that noise followed him.  Just another one of those things.  He turned around and squeaked back to his captive, who was looking at the floor.

“Look at me, Henry,” he commanded.  When Henry didn’t obey, he grabbed him by the chin and jerked up to look at him.  “I said LOOK AT ME!”

The man’s eyes avoided his.

“LOOK AT ME BEFORE I START POURIN’ INK DOWN YA THROAT!”  He screamed, pupils narrowing to unnerving beady dots and a few black drops dribbling over his eyes.

The threat seemed to pierce his thick skull; Henry’s pupils drifted begrudgingly to him.  A smile came back to his face, but the ink continued to run over his face.  “There’s a good boy.  You know why I don’t wanna kill you?”

Henry didn’t answer.

“I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!”  Bendy screeched, tightening his grip on Henry’s lower jaw.  More ink began to slowly melt over his face.

“Why?!”  Henry blurted through his strained mouth, desperate to loosen the toon’s hand.  It worked, a little.

“Because I’m a guy who likes bein’ fair.  I think you’re only allowed to be as bad to other’s as they been to you.  And you ain’t killed me, so congrats pally, you’ve done the bare freakin’ minimum that a normal person should do.  But ya know what you did do? Henry? Buddy? Partner?”  Bendy leaned in, bring his face closer and closer.  Ink dropped off him like a leaking faucet, quickly covering his shoes and making a puddle on the floor.  When he was less than half an inch away, Bendy spoke in a voice that was almost unrecognizable.

“You used me like the good little meal ticket I was.  Got everything you wanted out of me.  And then you left.  Me.  To.  Rot.”

As if on cue, every last drop reversed its course, like someone hit rewind.  It all flowed right back into him, leaving him the perfect immaculate Bendy he started as.  “So nah, I ain’t gonna kill ya. I’ve got somethin’ WAY better in mind fer YOU.  See, me ‘n’ Joey got ourselves a deal.  I help him with his little, er… project… and he makes sure we never get pushed around and outta the spotlight again.  This whole revenge biz?  Icing on the cake.”

It was hard to talk with a hand clamped around his jaw, but Henry made the attempt anyway.  What came out was complete gibberish but it did the trick.  Bendy’s sadistic grin gave way to a curious frown.  He released the immense pressure he was putting onto Henry’s face and leaned in, putting a hand up to his ear, smile returning.

“What’s that boy?  What’re ya tryin’ to tell me, boy?”

“Bendy, this isn’t you.  The Bendy I know, that crazy guy who kids all over smile and laugh, would never, ever, pull something like this.”  The words were desperate, trying to recover some semblance of the little devil’s sanity.

Once again, the smile dropped off the toon’s face.  The only thing left was a look of pure shock.  For a moment, Henry dared to let himself believe that he’d gotten through.

“The Bendy you knew?  The Bendy YOU KNEW?!”  The toon’s gloves gripped the fabric of man’s shirt and began shaking.  His screaming pierced the air, made Henry’s ears ring.  Ink began to flow freely from the his body, quickly coating the floor and crawling up the walls.  “YOU ABANDONED ME!  YOU ALL JUST PUT OUT YA CIGGARETTES, CLOCKED OUT, AND NEVER CAME BACK!  YEARS, HENRY!  I WAS HERE FOR YEARS!  WAITING, WONDERING, HATING ALL OF YOU.  THEN FINALLY, FINALLY SOMEONE COMES BACK, JOEY COMES BACK AND HE’S GOT A PLAN!  HE’S GOT SOMETHING TO HELP US! THEN YOU HAVE THE GRAPES TO STEP INTO HERE WITHOUT SO MUCH AS AN ‘I’M SORRY’?!”

The toons let go with one fist and pulled it back stretching his arm a few feet behind him.  The fist whirled a few times, and for just a second, an ugly, distorted smile conquered Bendy’s face.  Then it shot forward, colliding with Henry’s jaw.  His whole head jerked to the side and as the dull pain quickly spreading, he started to feel lightheaded

“You don’t deserve the Bendy you knew.  You’re stuck with me now.”  Bendy lifted him up, stretching his legs to be taller, then dropped Henry back on the floor.  With that done, the tormentor turned around. “Let’s see how YOU like bein’ trapped in here, forever followin’ the script some schmoe writes for you.”

THIS IS INCREDIBLE.  I’m… I’m making this canon to the AU, yes, this is EXACTLY the kind of tone I’m looking for.