they know each other for like two minutes and he's already worried about that weird kid

iwasapruneratfaverolles  asked:

PLEASE TELL THE CHILDREN THE STORY OF MS. STUBELS

Grace fuck, why would you invoke her name like that???

Okay, fine, gather round children, buckle up because we’re going on a bumpy ride back to everyone’s collective least favorite place: 7th grade.

Some background: I went to a very small Catholic school. One class per grade (we were the largest with 19 kids), everyone knew each other whether they wanted to or not. Despite basically every teacher and faculty members insistence that we were The Best And Most Special Class In The School and that everyone loved having us, the longstanding 7th grade teacher Mrs. O’Hara decided to retire in the summer of 2008, meaning the school had to find us a new teacher for the upcoming year. This would be like, the first new teacher in the school in a while, and as she was getting the ‘best class’, it was viewed as a Big Deal. Somewhere in like July or August we got a letter announcing Mrs. Stubel, and it came with a list of books to pick for the summer reading, and that was basically all the information we had.

So…the first day of class. She seems nice enough. Very…ditsy, I guess? It was very easy for her to get herself off topic while talking. She constantly paced around the room, never staying in one spot for longer than a second, complaining she has restless leg syndrome. Which like, I’m sure she did, but she was in the middle of introducing herself and then went on a 20 minute tangent about restless leg syndrome without anyone prompting her. It was almost like you could see her scattered thoughts flying around her head.

So anyone, she eventually gives somewhat of an introduction- she had only taught in public schools before, and kept worrying she ‘didn’t know’ how to teach in a Catholic school despite the entire class insisting literally nothing was different, you just teach the curriculum, twice a week we have religion class with Sister Mary King, that’s literally it (she still talked over us in worry), she told us about her kids, she told us about her obsession with Emily Dickinson, stuff like that.

And then she hands us this worksheet.

She’s like, “Oh, these are just some basic questions for you to answer! Just so I can get to know you guys better!” like in lieu of an icebreaker game, which is fine, but…the questions. The questions were all “What is your most haunting fear?”, “What is your deepest regret?”, “Have you ever experienced the pain of loss?”, “What was your worst injury?”, “What was your worst nightmare?”, all questions like that, and then on the back she wanted us to draw a gravestone and write out what we wanted our epitaph to be.

We were twelve year olds, mind you.

Oh my God and one girl missed the first day because of her grandmother’s funeral, so when she came the next day and saw what the teacher was insisting she do for homework, she almost had a panic attack? And the lady still made her do it? Literally who wants to think about death anymore at a time like that omfg.

Okay, so then we get to the summer reading book reports, right? Now, she had given a list of maybe, 20 books that you could pick from, read it, and then present an oral report on it. You had to have notecards and you had to be able to answer questions from the class at the end. All in all, I’ve had worse projects.

So, on this list, she apparently put Madeleine L’Engle’s entire book series on the list…only she did not make it known that this was a series and not multiple stand alone books, so when reports started up it caused mass-panic of kids trying to put together plot points and make connections on what the hell they had read.

I was the only kid in the class who had chosen to read “A Wrinkle In Time”, and that has since lead to a series of events that…really actually scares me, I’m still incredibly freaked out, I’m not going to get into it right now because it’ll take away from the current story, but just know that I’m not above wondering if it only happened because I read the book for Stubel.

Anyway, so like, I got through the report okay. The class asking questions about it was fine, but the teacher kept asking questions that didn’t make sense, like, at all. My friend Angie has always had super neat handwriting and Mrs. Stubel got like, obsessed with her notecards and asked if she could borrow them for something. When we got our grades back a few weeks later, Angie had points taken off for not having notecards.

And then her teaching just…didn’t happen. She’d never stay on a topic, she’d always get herself distracted! We were not learning anything. And like, this wasn’t a class of advanced smart kids that loved to learn. By all accounts we should’ve been thrilled. But it got out of hand. It got to points where we had to start teaching lessons to ourselves, asking teacher from other grades for help, always coming home in tears, complaining constantly to our parents and the principal because this woman wasn’t teaching us anything. There were two kids who asked her multiple times for extra help, and she told them each time to ‘talk to me after school’, but then she’d leave immediately after school so they wouldn’t be able to talk to her. They finally brought up the issue in the middle of class and she had a breakdown, yelling about how nobody ever thinks that maybe the teacher has a lot of work to do, and maybe she’s entitled to taking off early, but when we tried to argue she shouldn’t schedule meetings and then break them off in the name of relaxation, she stormed out of the room and tried to get the principal to give us detention. (Which, like, our school didn’t even do, and she was the only one in the wrong during this situation) We are still in September at this point, and already at least ten kids have parents considering transferring them to another school. (And remember, there was only 19 of us, and most of the class had been together since preschool, so that was a big deal).

Then, she starts coming in with all the weird bruises. All the Moms™ immediately started gossiping that her husband had to be beating her, and that’s why she was so screwy in the head. But the way she talked about her husband made it seem like he *might* be dead, and we actually did witness her fall and smack her head into a doorknob once, so no one really knew what to believe. (Also, I’m not trying to imply that abuse would make someone crazy or ‘damaged’ or anything, this is just what was being said. I think they were trying to turn her into a more sympathetic character, because if you feel sorry for her you don’t have to hate her for frustrating your kids so much, and Hate Is A Bad Emotion.)

Also…this woman and Emily Dickinson.

She talked about Emily Dickinson every chance she could get. None of us knew who Emily Dickinson really was before she got there and you could see in her mind it was a capitol offense. She found out the curriculum didn’t have room to cover her (because like, we had a text book), and was way too upset about it. She started reading her poems whenever she found the time (usually somewhere in history class), and always gave us very detailed accounts about her dressing up as Emily and reading her poetry at the library.

Now, two things to note here:

  1. The library did not hire her to do this. She would literally just get in the mood, put on an Emily Dickinson costume that she made by herself, drive to different libraries, and just read poetry out loud to everyone there until someone eventually asked her to leave.
  2. The way she described these events…her tone, the look on her face, her posture…you could just tell that she was getting some sort of sexual gratification out of this? Like dressing up as Emily Dickinson in public and reading her sad poems is really what got this lady’s jollies rocking? Got her all hot and bothered? Which is…a lot, but why would you tell a bunch of seventh graders about it holy shit. What about that sounds like a good idea! What about that turns you back on!

So anyway, we learned a lot about Emily Dickinson against our will.

One of the Davids™ was reading a book for pleasure- which shouldn’t have been a shocker, a lot of kids always had books on them, but Stubel got really interested and asked if she could borrow it from him. He was like ‘sure, after I finish it?’ but she took it that day. He asked her for it back for like five weeks straight.

And…the strudels.

Okay, so the school was trying some dorky thing to promote ~togetherness~ or some virtue or something, I don’t remember the specifics of why, but each class had to make a huge themed poster and hang it on the wall outside the classroom. Which was like, whatever, not the most thrilling project but at least it allowed us to be productive vs just sitting there as the teacher runs about the room rambling about her family vacation from four years ago. Mrs. Stubel decided we needed a quirky nickname and after like three days of deliberation we were christened “Stubel’s Special Strudels”!

(points for alliteration or whatever, but no one actually voted for that and what exactly do strudels have to do with Catholicism? It became a big running joke amongst the kids)

Also, in case you were wondering, she didn’t explain the assignment correctly to us- so every other class had like these beautiful, artistic, well-themed and put together posters, while ours was just…literally a bunch of shit thrown together on paper. Nothing fit with each other, it was literally embarrassing to look at.

But then…she wouldn’t drop the strudel thing. Like she kept bringing it up. She got really into strudels and would just tell us random shit about them. Finally, someone jokes that we should get strudels one day for a party (like instead of a pizza party), and she’s Freaking Out and On Board. She really wants to buy us strudels and have a breakfast party now. She talked about it for like two days straight.

So like… you know in school when you would have a pizza party, usually the teacher would buy it? That’s how they always happened in my experience (not counting the last day of 10th grade when some kid had pizza delivered to the school for lunch but it didn’t get there until math class lol). But especially in grade school? Like if it wasn’t a PTA made party that’s super organized, the school would buy the food, right? Right?

Yeah, so she was like, if this is happening you guys need to give me the money. Just give me the money and then I’ll pick them up on my way to work!! And after some arguing some kids are on board. Strudels should only cost a couple dollars right?

And she’s like, oh no, I’m gonna get them from this high end bakery near my house so it’ll be special, but they’re not cheap and it’ll be a big order! I’m gonna need like fifteen dollars from each of you!

And at this point I’m just like…lady. Come on. 

But she keeps insisting. She’s not gonna go until every student in class pays up.

And I’m like…I’m poor. I don’t even like strudel.  And some of the less-naïve kids are siding with me.

And then she pulls that “you guys are just spoiling all the fun for your classmates” shit, like the naïve kids who already paid up, so it gets to the point where we just gotta cave and give her the money.

(I ended up stealing it out of my Crazy Bitch Aunt’s wallet so it’s whatever, I guess.)

And then of course, shockingly enough, every morning she was met with “where are the strudels?” and every morning she went wide eyed, slapped her forehead and yelled in embarrassed horror “I totally forgot! Tomorrow, guys, I promise!”

Honestly, with how scatterbrained and confused she always was…like to this day I can’t tell you with 100% certainty whether she hustled us or was just actually forgetting about the damn pastries, I choose to lean towards the hustled us side because that’s just the type of people I’m used to, but if I found out it was innocent forgetfulness I wouldn’t exactly be surprised.

She couldn’t handle more than one person talking at a time. Like, we’d have break periods, or group work, or something and all the talking made her go wide-eyed and batty. She’d look overworked and anxious and would be darting around the room trying to do work or something but she couldn’t focus and she’d yell at anyone who tried to talk to her directly. I remember one time she was using this boys desk for something so he asked “where am I supposed to sit?” and she snapped “Sit on the ceiling for all I care!”. And this kid was the Class Clown™ , so he immediately grabbed a chair in one hand and started climbing the bookcase to try and reach the ceiling. She’s standing right next to this and doesn’t even notice. He got all four chair legs planted on the ceiling and was trying to somehow maneuver his way into the chair (I really don’t know what the plan was exactly- he was really tall and it was a small building, so I think he probably had the idea that if he can get his body upside down and in the chair, and stretch out his arms like a hand-stand to hold onto bookcase, he could arguably sit on the ceiling.) but he slipped. Crashed into my desk and the two desks next to me, knocked over the book case, broke the chair in half and hit the desks with enough force to knock them down lower. It was hilarious. Everyone was loosing their shit cracking up (he was fine) and it still took Stubel like five minutes to notice his lying out across the desks right in front of her eyes. She was pissed but how did she miss any of it in the first place? She was barely being helpful in whatever it was she was trying to do.

This was the year the Phillies were going to the World Series, and all the grades were having a Phillies Rally in the cafeteria so a news crew was coming to the school and each class was supposed to come up with fun little cheers for them to broadcast. Multiple cheer ideas were presented to her and she vetoed all of them, someone even suggested just singing the damn eagles theme song with replaced words and calling it a day but she vetoed that too, she was very adamant that she could come up with a cheer all by herself and it’ll be the best one (whoever had the best cheer was winning like an ice cream day or something idk). And then like…literally five minutes before the rally she just hands us signs with the letters and was like ‘we’re just gonna spell out Phillies it will be cute won’t it my strudels???’. We were the weakest class there, predictably. I think we lost to the kindergarteners. There might still be a video online of me yelling “ i “ passionately at the top of my lungs. It was online bc our cheer was so bland the news crew cut it out of the broadcast.

I literally can’t say enough about how she never taught us anything. She’d be going on some tangent about how she doesn’t understand the science behind skiing, and I’d be like “Okay yes but please can you just tell me where Romania is on a map???” And she’d start fights whenever someone actually wanted to learn. It was so easy to get her angry but so hard for her to stay on topic. Kids started teaching the class themselves! Like seriously, she’d be rambling and one of us would just go up to the podium, open the teacher’s guide textbook and just start reading out loud and talking over her. By the time she noticed we’d be halfway through a lesson. And we understood it better than when she tried! You know something’s wrong when pre-teens are more qualified for a job than an adult who supposedly went to school for this.

We were in the church having run-throughs for our upcoming Confirmation and she almost set the church on fire…fifteen different times. In less than half an hour. How hard is it to hold a candle?

Okay, and here’s when stuff starts kicking up. It was October 28th, a Tuesday, and it was our last day of school that week because they were having parent-teacher conferences the rest of the week. So we were just hanging out, watching movies in class and reading (lord knows we weren’t learning), and Stubel calls me over to her desk.

So like, she had given everyone little bags with candy for Halloween, but I get up there and she hands me an extra one. And she’s like “Molly I know your birthday is tomorrow and I bought you a present but I left it on my coffee table this morning by accident! So just have the candy for now!”

And I’m like….”Ma’am I’m like, the sixth birthday this year. You didn’t give anyone else presents?”

And she goes “Oh, I know but this is a special secret surprise. I just know you’re gonna love it! Do you wanna stop by my house later this week to pick it up or should I just give it to you Monday after school?”

And like…In writing this sounds like a non-threatening exchange, and like, it was, but I felt so uncomfortable holy shit. I’m looking over my shoulder and shooting my friends SOS signals. Something about this felt so weird in my gut omfg. I told her thanks and I’d just see her Monday.

So we flash forward to Wednesday- my 13th birthday, the day the Phillies won the world series, and also the day my mother innocently strolled into the school for her meeting only to be met with screaming, the sound of heavy destruction, and the school secretary Mrs. Daily running at her in a panic, waving her arms and yelling “YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED YOUR MEETING IS CANCELLED GET IN MY OFFICE NOW!”

So my poor mother, who thought she could handle this whole meeting in a few minutes and barely be an hour late for work, is now barricaded in the front office with the school secretary, as the noises from down the hall get louder and louder. The woman explains that they had gotten so many complaints about Mrs. Stubel that this morning, when she got to the school, the principal Sister Patricia called her in and said “Listen, we need you to be professional and still have the parent conferences, but we have to let you go. We just don’t think you fit in well here, and the kids need to come first and feel comfortable in their school.” and like, I’m paraphrasing because I wasn’t there, but we all know she was very polite and professional about it.

Mrs. Stubel, however…was not.

She flipped her chair and stormed out of the office, and locks herself in the seventh grade classroom. She started wrecking the shit out of that place, screaming obscenities and the top of her lungs, they had to call the cops on her! She was locked in there for almost an hour! And let me just give you a nice little list of everything she did in that classroom:

  • Smashed three windows.
  • Threw everything off her desk and carved swear words all over it.
  • Got cleaning fluid that she knew would damage the chalk boards, smeared it all over.
  • Cracked the chalk boards by repeatedly smashing chairs against them.
  • Wrote swear words all over the walls and on desks
  • Went into students desks, ripped up their books.
  • Stole my glasses. (which were in my desk bc I only used them in class at the time)
  • Threw some desks around.
  • Carved swear words into the boards. (there was so much carving I’m assuming she just had a knife on her person, which has to lead to the question, did she have a knife on her while she was in class with us?)
  • Physically ripped the hooks to hang backpacks on out of the wall.
  • Knocked the closet door off it’s hinges.
  • Ripped up all the books in the bookcases and threw their pages all around the room.
  • Wrote lewd phrases inside student’s desks.
  • Broke multiple chairs.
  • Used her podium as a battering ram against the wall that’s in front of where the backpacks go. (the wall won but Damage Was Inflicted)
  • Set a fire in the trash can.
  • When the principal and other teachers started trying to get in, she tossed her rolling chair at the door to scare them off.
  • She was screaming curse words at the top of her lungs the entire time, and cursing the school and the kids and the principal and the church in general, and the school building was small, so all the parents and the smaller children that had to come to the meetings (who were locked in their respective classrooms in fear) heard everything.
  • So much more? But it’s 4:30 in this morning and this list is already long.

So my mom is in the front office and deadass the

entire police force

shows up, running down the hallway to the classroom yelling at her to stop, and it takes a while for them to get her out holy shit. They knocked down the door and she tried to escape out of one of the broken windows! But they got her and dragged her out.

So of course, in such a small school with very involved parents this shit spread like wildfire. The entire town knew within the day. The poor principal called the newly retired old-seventh grade teacher and was like “So we…need some help” and the lady was like “I already heard I’ll be there Monday” omfg. I remember I got a text from one of my classmates saying “if your birthday wish was for us to be set free from the beast I love you” omfg.

So, we eventually go back to school on Monday and everyone’s buzzing. The principal has us go to the cafeteria and she ‘delicately’ explains the situation, and that the old teacher is coming out of retirement for us, the school has a restraining order against Mrs. Stubel now and that she’s sorry we had to deal with this mess. Our classroom had to go under some heavy reconstruction before we could be let back in there, so for like two weeks we alternated between the cafeteria and the preschooler’s classroom, we had no books or anything, just provided loose-leaf paper and pens. It was like, surreal, but everyone was just so happy to be rid of her and to be in the presence of a competent teacher omfg. We eventually were able to get back into our usual classroom.

  1. It took a while for things to go completely back to normal, though. After the big spectacle she made, for weeks after she was fired we were all very scared of the possibility of Mrs. Stubel returning to the school with a gun in hand. It was always a topic we whispered about at lunch with wide eyes and shivers. Like…genuine nightmare scenario.
  2. About two weeks after she was fired, a boy in the back of the classroom gasped loudly during SSR, and when we all looked at him, he whispered in anger “She never gave us our freakin’ strudels!”
  3. About three months after she was fired, we were lined up at the door to go to Library when a few of us looked through the windows and saw something darting through the trees. It was fast and we couldn’t make anything out, so we let it drop. When the class and teacher returned half and hour later, the book she had borrowed months before from one of the boys was sitting on his desk. It was just laying there, the room was silent, nothing had been disturbed…but I have never seen a book look so threatening. People were freaking out. Someone kept insisting that she turned the book into a bomb. No one figure out how she got in the school, and no one could figure out how she got it on the right desk, as we had switched the seating arrangement since she had last been there.  
  4. A full six months after she had left, it was nearing the end of the school year and our class was dicking around during our last computer class. Someone found a website (that we weren’t allowed to be on) that pulls up any police records attached to whoever’s name you enter, so someone decided to search Mrs. Stubel as a joke. We ended up finding out she had like six DUI’s.

Aaaaand that’s the story of the horrendous teacher I had for two months in 7th grade. One of my favorite party stories but tbh she still haunts me™ .

DOCTOR DREAMY | PT.2 [M]

pt1 | pt2 | (ongoing)

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: smut, fluff, slight angst + expecting parents au

word count: 11,035

request: sperm donor ex-boyfriend jimin

description: Okay, maybe in hindsight asking your ex-boyfriend, who you never really got over, to be your sperm-donor wasn’t the brightest of ideas.

cr. 


six years prior.

“Do you wanna have kids one day?”

Jimin tilted his head as if to ponder the idea before tugging you across the bed until you were leaning against his chest, curious eyes catching your own.  

“Sure, I mean one day. One day, far, far away,” He said, pointing his finger off into the distance jokingly.

You laughed, hand skimming along the back of his neck. “Yeah, me too.”

“Any particular reason why you’re asking?” He said as he began playing with the strands of your hair.

“I dunno,” You shrugged. “We’ve been dating for a long time, just thought that it’s something we should know about each other.”

Jimin nodded, “No, you’re right. It’s kind of something you should figure out before things get too far in the relationship… Guess we waited a bit too long, but we’re on the same page, so that’s good,” He smiled, leaning down to place a short peck against your lips.

“So that means you think that information will be put to good use one day?” You asked, quirking your brow to insinuate.

Keep reading

history of the entire world, i guess; a transcript

hi. you’re on a rock, floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it, actually most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you. how did this happen? a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why its been everywhere. it’s been so everywhere, you don’t need a “where”. you don’t even need a “when”. that’s how “every” it gets. (pause). forget this. i wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start. and that’s exactly where it started. (background noise) woah. i… paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing, in a place. don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet. it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees. (about no seconds later). great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three called a “proton” or a “neutron”. and there’s something else flying around too that wants to join in but can’t cause it’s still to (HOT). (about ten minutes later). great news! the protons and the neutrons are now happily married to each other (some of them even doubled up). (about 380,000 years later). great news, the electrons have now joined in. congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together. it’s a staaaar. new shit just got made. some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit. space dust! which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into even crazier space dust. so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example. holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kinda made a mess. which is now the moon. weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space. weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside them and now there’s Hot Steam in the sky. weather update: cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava. weather update: its raining. severe flooding alert: the entire world is now an ocean. volcano alert: that’s land. there’slifeintheocean. what? something’s alive in the ocean. oh cool, like a plant or an animal? no. a microscopic speck! it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever. oh yeah, and it can do that. it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say. tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? now you can eat sunlight. using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into food. taste the sun. side effect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue. then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while, maybe even a coupla times. it’s a sponge, it’s a plant, it’s a worm and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish. it’s the Cambrian explosion. “wow, that’s animals and stuff.” but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land? NoO. why? the sun is a deadly lazer. oh okay. not anymore there’s a blanket. now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land! “nope, can’t walk yet. and there’s no food yet so i don’t care.” (100 million years later) ok, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here? “maybe,” said some bugs, and fish. “uh. uh. uh.” (five million years later) “ok so i can go on land but i have to go back in the water to have babies.” (idea) learn to use an egg. “i was already doing that.” use a stronger egg, and put water in it, have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg, baby, in the water, in the egg. works for me. bye bye ocean. aaand now everything is huge. including bugs. wanna see a map of the land? sure. ah fuck, now everything’s dead. just kidding here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one because its about to become the dinosaurs. here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor. and the dinosaurs are gone. its mammal time! here come the mammals. look at those breasts. now they’re gonna dominate the world, and one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like ‘that’. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make… pointed rocks. “ouch.” and set things on fire. “yeouch.” and make crazy sounds with their voice (“gneurshk.”) which can mean different things. that’s a human person. and now they’re everywhere, almost. ice age. what? you can walk over here? cool. not anymore. i guess we’re stuck here now.

let’s review. there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food. fuck it, time to plant some grass. look at this, i control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food. this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this. tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground. better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping. guess what happens next. more food, and more people who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in, and people to make the houses. and now there’s more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come. and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people. and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power. sociiiety. coming soon to a dank river valley near you. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed. why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing bronze, made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land. i don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what - egypt. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also, china. and did i mention indusrivervalleycivilization. norte chico. the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it’s in the middle of the east. knock knock- er, clop clop, it’s the people with the horses? and they made an empire! and then everyone else copied their horses. greeks! ah look, it must be the greeks, or a beta version of the greeks. let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization. they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china. new arrivals in india. maybe it’s thosehorsepeopleiwastalkingabout or theircousinsorsomething. and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff. you could make a religion out of this. there’s the bronze age collapse. now the phoenicians can get down to business. also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks. look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel. and they believe in god. just one though, he’s got like a ten step program. here’s some huge heads, must be the olmec. the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. here comes the assyrian empire. nevermind it’s the babylonian- median- it’s the persian empire. “wow, that’s big.” ah, the buddha was just enlightened! who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this. oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking confucius was figuring out how to have good morals. ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff. and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea, he was…great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them. knock knock, it’s chandragupta, he says, “get the hell out of here, will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? ok thanks bye; time to conquer all of india- or most of india”. but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve got spices. who would like to buy the spices? “me,” said the arabians, swiftly buying them and selling them to the rest of the world. hey, china put itself back together again with good morals as their main philosophy. actually they have three main philosophies. out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city. let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload! “bye,” said the parthians, “bye,” said the jews. “hi,” said the parthians, taking over the entire place. “heyyyyyyyy,” said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland. “hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular, and then gets arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this. want silk? now you can buy it from china! they just made a brand new road to the world…or you can get there on water. “sick, new trade routes,” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom. there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again. “remember the persian empire? yup,” said the persians, making a new one. axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick. has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together. china is whole again…then it broke again. still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels. “hell yeah, now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves. “hi i live in the roman empire and i was wondering, is loving jesus legal yet?” “no” “actually ok sure,” said constantine, moving the capitol way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall. it’s the golden age of india. there’s the gupta empire. not chandragupta, just gupta, first name chandra, the first. guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. or actually, just half is just fine. but it’s not in rome anymore so let’s give it a new name. the mayans have figured out the staaars. oh, and here’s a huge city, population everyone. the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks. how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together. how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them. korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear, so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods, and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this. and maybe conquer the world as well. the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors. here’s all the wisdom, in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom, just in time for the islamic golden age. “let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast. remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now. wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere? the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise, you’re the new roman emperor,” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france. the northerners, or just norse if you don’t have that much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. two types of land, and they name them accordingly. they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as vikings. there’s the rus, the kievan rus. are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. ok, fair enough. the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire, the holy roman empire. it’s actually germany but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms! christianizeallthekingdoms. which brand would you like? “mine’s better,” “mine’s better,” “mine’s better”. “time to conquer england,” said william. it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the seljuk turks. “ahh!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small it almost doesn’t exist anymore, “we need help!” they need help, so they call the pope. “hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you wanna take back the holy land.” “yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.” crusade. they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail, but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals. goodbye mayans. hello toltecs, goodbye toltecs, hello mississippi. look at those mounds. there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff. guess who’s here? khmer. where? here, and pagan is there, and vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis. i bet that will last a long time! some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india. is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time. i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold. look at this chad (means lake), there’s an empire there, right in the middle of africa. the king of mali is so rich he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said. the christians are doing a great job of conquering iberia which will soon be called spain and not spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you are still christian when you least expect. whoops, half of europe just died. ming. china’s back, yay. hey khmer, time to share, new kingdoms here and there. oh look who controls all the islands, its the mahajapit. majahapit, mapajahit, mahapajit, mapajahit, majapahit? oh, italy’s really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth. here’s a printer, lets make books. so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? “yep,” said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. whoops, you missed a spot; don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade. “what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless. well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india. “wait,” said christopher colombus, probably smoking crack, “if the world is round, lets go this way to india!” “nah, don’t worry we already got this,” said portugal. so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to go find india by going around back of the world?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.” “please?” “ok.” so he sails into the ocean, and discovers more ocean, and then discovers ‘the indies’ and ‘japan’. let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world. the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent. the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other. move over lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again. move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again. let’s make it the other kind of islam, the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy. hey christians, do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell. “that’s bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that’s a scam, fuck the church, here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation. “you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman, wearing an onion hat, “what if the ottoman empire was really big, which it is now.”  “what if russia was big,” said ivan, trying not to be terrible. portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. and spain realised that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” question one: can you get to india through north america? no, but at least there’s beaver. question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question but the dutch did it anyway. sugar. guess where all the sugar’s made? in brazil. stolen! in the carribean, and it’s so goddamn profitable you might forget to not do slavery. the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger. britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world, more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did, it’s britain. guess who’s broke? also britain. so they start taxing the hell out of america.

“fuck you,” says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it. france helps them win, now france is broke. and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent. wait if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses? “let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. you could make a reli- no don’t. haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?” wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back. luckily, they banished him to another island. there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin america wars of independence. britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains, and conquer india and maybe put some trains there. “hey china,” said britain, “buy stuff from us.” “nah, dude we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy-fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island. britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afganistan. also the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now, that’s just where he lives. india had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before. technology is about to go crazy. the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. “it’s bad,” they decided. and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land, and maybe kick out the mexicans too. “i know, let’s rape africa,” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia.  britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand. the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more. hawaii. cuba. wait spain controls cuba. “well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on them? let’s blame the maine on spain!” so they blame the maine on spain. now we’re in business. to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans. britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go. china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government. europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns. it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany. russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government. now everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism, in the soviet union. the arabs revolt, and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind. “let’s cut the cake,” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire. except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey. and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do. hello? yes, it’s the 1920s calling. let’s get in a car and drive to a party and listen to the jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy’s great and it’ll probably be great forever. just kidding. germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model. he’s mad at the jews for existing. japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it. hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him. that’s world war two. bonus round: pacific showdown, united states versus japan. fight! finish him. let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace. seems legit. “hi i’m gandhi and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india i’m going to starve myself in public. wow, that worked?” bonus: now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans. one of them can be bangladesh later. the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me”, they both said at the same time. “let’s divide up the land so everyone’s happy.” sike! they both get angrier. look out china, there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! “no thanks,” said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china. there’s the korean war, korea versus korea, nobody wins, then it’s on pause forever. let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. fight! wait no that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs. “i’ll race you to space. now let’s make some more countries fight themselves.” europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map, with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by. the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it. let’s check the world population. woah. okay. technology’s better too, that might keep happening. the soviet union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart. europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money; except britain because they don’t feel like it. let’s check the mail. surprise! it’s on the computer! whoops, someone just attacked america, i bet they’ll remember that. phone call, surprise, it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise, it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket. whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to. surprise, flying robots! with bombs. wanna print a brain? some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic. “let’s save the planet,” said everybody, not knowing how. “let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool. by the way, where the hell are we?

anonymous asked:

Prompt: eleven is popular And mike feels insecure about it (she gonna chose being popular over him) but she chooses him

HERE U GO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS PROMPT (massive thanks to @el-mike-jane for betaing this bc she’s the best)

Word Count: 3.5k 

Pairings: Mike/El, minor Lucas/Max

Rating: T (for language)

Mike Wheeler walks into science class to see everyone chattering, which is massively different from the typical dead-eyed stares of Mr. Sherman’s physics class. It’s the first class of the day, and Mr. Sherman speaks the way gray looks, so it makes sense.

Mike takes his normal spot by Dustin Henderson, their bard and only member of the party he has in this class. “What’s up with everyone today?”

“They’re announcing the nominees for Homecoming Court during class,” Dustin says, looking bored. “It’s all bullshit, but everyone else is excited.”

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anonymous asked:

Fav long fics?!

Since I don’t know exactly what long fics are to you, here’s a list of my fave 50k+ fics in no particular order :)

Kaleidoscope by Vendelin [E, 54k]

Stiles spends a year before college working at the all-night coffee shop in town. It’s nice and quiet, until one dark and brooding Derek starts coming in every morning, ordering coffee so strong that it should not be fit for human consumption. Ever. Stiles tries not to be affected by the mystery guy, but it’s not like anything else happens around here, so really, what did you expect? And when he’s already in too deep, he realises he might even be in way over his head…

Safety in Silence by Survivah [M, 66k]

It’s perfectly understandable. Even Derek wouldn’t want to be Derek’s soulmate.

Easy Trouble by Survivah [M, 55k]

Derek+Stiles+fairies = love spell

“Make love to me,” Derek demands.

What.

The Boy and the Beast by Dira Sudis (dsudis) [M, 116k]

In which events in Beacon Hills go rather differently from the start, and a Beauty and the Beast (ish) story ensues. (Scott is not a teacup and no one sings about their feelings.)  

Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by DevilDoll, Rahciach [E, 76k]

“Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf.” An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

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I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Twelve

Summary: You fly out for Asylum and meet up with the rest of the cast, only to find out that you have to do your first ever solo panel in front of two thousand fans
Words: 4.4k (+ tweets)
Jared x Reader x Gen, Misha, Kim, Briana, Danneel, Jensen, JJ
Warnings: smut-ish phone calls, mild angst, fluff
Beta: @blacksiren

IKYW Masterpost

Originally posted by yourfavoritedirector

Your name: submit What is this?

In-flight wifi was a God sent gift on the flight to London.

Despite appearing calm and feeling tired, you couldn’t get to sleep for the first few hours due to anxious energy.

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Prodigy Lance Fic Part 10!!!!!

Lance’s sleeping form remained unmoving as he was in the pod. He had been in there for two days already, and the team were starting to get impatient, especially Keith. He was currently sitting in front of the pod, chin propped in one hand while he drummed his fingers against the cold floor. His eyes never left Lance’s face. Keith heard footsteps approach behind him, but ignored them. “Keith.” Shiro sighed. “Come to dinner. You’ve already missed lunch and Lance isn’t going anywhere.” Keith shook his head, eyes never moving. “I’m not leaving him. Not again. What if he wakes up when I’m not here?” “Keith, you’re dead on your feet. If Lance comes out now, don’t you think he would be worried about you? You’ve haven’t slept at all, and you’ve been skipping meals. Get some rest and something to eat. You want to be able to stay awake when he is, right?” Keith stayed silent, knowing he couldn’t argue. With an aspirated sigh, he slowly stood up, knees popping with the action. Shiro smiled and place his hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go eat some dinner.” They both walked and joined the team who were already eating in the kitchen. The two sat down and began to dig in. After a few moments of silence, Coran practically skipped to table, relief and excitement bumbling out of him. “Good news everyone! I just checked Lance and according to my calculations, he should be out by today!” Allura set down her spoon and sighed in relief. “Good. Considering the injuries he sustained, he healed fairly quickly.” Hunk silently nodded. “I’ve never seen so much blood before..” Keith clenched around the fork in his hand, his mouth pressed in a thin line. His mind replayed the scene over and over again. It was something he could never forget. “There’s just one thing I don’t get.” Coran stated. “How did Lance know exactly what his injuries were?” Pidge looked up at this. “What I want to know is how he manage to hack into their system without breaking a sweat. It took him like two minutes tops.” “Not to mention that he spoke fluent Galran!” Coran added. Keith furrowed his brow. Hmm… “Hey, Hunk. Did Lance do anything..out of the ordinary at the Garrison?” Hunk shrugged his shoulders. “Not that I can think of. Though he spent a lot of time with Iverson and the other professors. He was always having meetings and sometimes ate lunch with them. Even the president and CEO over the Garrison.” Shiro raised an eyebrow at this. “What? Only highly skilled students with unique abilities spend that much time with the professors, especially the head president. Why was he at the Garrison for, what was he studying to be?” Hunk picked up his fork, using it as a toothpick and shrugged, nonchalant. “Every time I asked he always said he wanted to be a fighter pilot.” Pidge intervened. “Yeah, but when I would try to go into detail about it, he would quickly change the subject. It was like he was nervous or scared about something.” “Oh, I almost forgot!” Hunk exclaimed. “He would always carry around this notebook, and he was suuuuper protective over it. He would only show it to Iverson and the other teachers, but would never show it to me. Always said it was extra credit or something. Although one day when he was writing in it, a read one heading but had no idea what it meant. Before I could ask, he quickly shut it and got super defensive about it.” Keith spoke up. “What did it say?” “Oh uh, something like The Shada Plan and in small letters beside it it said revised.” Shiro started coughing, choking on his food. “Shiro!?” Shiro ignored them. “The Shada Plan?? The plan that was created specifically for the Kerberos mission? Why was he revising it? Hunk did you read anything else in his notebook?” Hunk twiddled his thumbs. “Umm, well there was this other time where he left his notebook opened when he went to use the bathroom, but all that was in it was a huge line of code. Like it took up almost two whole pages. When I asked Lance what it was, he was said it was just a little project he was working on, he was just fooling around. It had a weird name at the top of the page though. I think was Bex Klaus or Taylor Bex?” Pidge leap from her seat.“WHAT?? Are you telling me that Lance created THE Bex Taylor-Klaus code?!” Hunk arched his eyebrow. “Uhh..yeah?” “Guys do you know what this means??” The team looked at each other, shrugging their shoulders. “Are you kidding me?! Lance, our Lance, created one of the most famous battle codes of all time! It’s used for technological warfare! You just have to enter the code, and it causes the host to destroy itself while sending the information right to you! It untraceable and you don’t even know it’s there before it’s too late! It was revolutionary in the technological world!” Pidge said incredulously. The team were at a loss for words, letting the information sink in. “So you mean to tell me,” Keith started slowly. “That’s Lance has created these plans and codes that have been very successful and famous. Plans and codes that only a genius could come up with?” Pidge could only nod. “So does this make Lance some sort of genius?” Allura questioned. Shiro shrugged. “There’s only one person who can answer our questions.” As if one cue, the team heard the familiar hissing of the pod opening.

thanks for the ride.
(billy hargrove x reader)

RequestDo you write for Billy Hargrove? And if you do could you do a headcanons thing for him asking you out and stuff?

a/n: so i’ve got no clue what any of this is. it’s 1:36 am my time and i’m exhausted and i’ve still got a video to finish but holy shit this popped into my head and here we are. i’m not sure if this is exactly what you had in mind, but uh… yeah. i actually kind of really like this myself. i hope you enjoy!

also, the read more is just because it got a little long and i didn’t want it to be this giant post :) 

  • so here’s the thing
  • billy hargrove is a dick 
  • max knows this 
  • the party knows this 
  • steve definitely knows this 
  • and you know this 
  • which is why you felt a little guilty for finding him physically attractive 
  • because you shouldn’t be attracted to a dick like him right?
  • i mean aside from that sweet ass of his
  • it’s not like either of you ever talked to each other at school anyway 
  • so it had never been a problem 
  • until the infamous night at the byers when all the shit hit the fan 
  • the night itself had been a blur 
  • the weird thing though, was that the mind flayer and the demodogs and el coming back and all of that wasn’t the actual weirdest thing of the night 
  • no, that was reserved for billy fucking hargrove 
  • because everyone had kind of forgotten about him lying drugged in the middle of mrs. byers’ living room in the midst of the panic 
  • you sure as hell can’t be blamed for that, considering you were too busy mothering the party and making sure that steve wasn’t dead (and watching dustin try to patch steve up with multicolored bandaids, but that’s a whole other thing)
  • and el was back and you’d missed her desperately in the past year (having been head of AV club since you were the only junior, you’d been dragged into the hawkins lab situation from the getgo) 
  • so yeah, you couldn’t be blamed for having forgotten about that 
  • until everyone headed back to her place 
  • “who is that on the floor?”
  • “a real dick, mrs. byers.” 
  • (we’re not going to talk about joyce’s reaction when she opened up the refrigerator to get the milk for the coffee and a dead demodog dropped out of it) 
  • (steve still profusely apologizes to her about it to this day)
  • so you offer to take billy and max home since you live relatively close to their house 

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anonymous asked:

I would trade my left leg for a fic about your idea of Damian having a #1 sibling and Tim becoming that #1 sibling for the sake of vengeance against the others. I would throw in my kidney for a series.

Keep your leg my friend, here a ficlet for you. I can’t guarantee more of this but pls keep your kidney too. 

(This is what we’re talking about, in case anyone is confused)


There is a soft knocking at the door followed by the clearing of a throat. Damian waits until the door is timidly pulled ajar before throwing a batarang against the doorframe, only a few inches away from Dick’s hand.

“Oh, come on, I only wanted to-”

Damian throws a second batarang, this time a lot closer to the open gap where their older brother’s head is supposed to be, and so they never find out what Dick wanted to do.

“You are a terrible kid”, Tim comments while Dick walks away grumbling out loud at the empty hallway.

“Thanks”, Damian answers, pressed against Tim’s side, eyes fixed on the TV screen. “You’re not that good either.”

“I’m just playing along”, Tim returns. “You’re the one who started the whole thing.”

“Abetment in a crime is also a crime”, Damian points out, pushing a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “I would have expected from you to know at least the basics of our jobs.”

“Was that an insult?”, Tim asks amicably. “It sounded like an insult.”

“Merely a consideration”, Damian grunts and accidentally plants an elbow into Tim’s side.

Tim snorts but doesn’t push it. This whole vengeful bonding thing between the two of them is still new enough to be actually nice, and he doesn’t want to ruin it before time - according to his predictions, it will lasts one more week top, and then Damian will inevitably concede into Dick’s peace offerings. No way the kid will be able to hold his grudge or suffer Tim’s company over Dick’s longer than that. Still, for the moment, Tim’s content enough to find himself cuddled on the couch, under a heavy blanket, with the warm pressure of Damian’s body against his, watching the last Star Wars movie together. Stranger things have happened, he supposes.

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The One With the Baby Fever

Another one shot coming ‘atcha!! also, side note, I am like so in tune with Brie and Daniel’s baby stuff. Like I watch the youtube videos and stuff, and I’m just so excited for them. and I don’t even know them??

this was roughly 16 pages in my notebook? so  i’m pretty sure this is the longest thing I’ve ever wrote. and I wrote in a bit of Dean’s pov so be aware of that *finger guns*

Dean Ambrose x Reader

While meeting Brie Bella’s new baby, Dean starts to feel some type of way.

There is now a part two!!! this is going to be a mini series.

Originally posted by stellarollins

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Unexpected

Word Count: 1600 ish

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Summary: The reader finds out that she’s pregnant and has to find a way to tell Sam.

Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy. Brief mention of depression (like, literally one sentence). Angst. I think that’s all, but forgive me if it’s not.

A/N: Yes, I know that this is quite a common trope, but I just couldn’t help myself :) Enjoy my rendition of Sam finding out that you’re pregnant!

***

It was hard to put into words how you had felt for the past few weeks. Extreme fatigue and nausea had been keeping you sidelined from hunting for too long now. You felt off, almost as if there was something that was completely changed within you.

Of course Sam and Dean picked up on your behavior change. After being their roommates and hunting partners for almost three years now, they were used to your normal and abnormal mannerisms. Dean never vocalized it to you, but he thought you were experiencing side effects of depression. You never ruled that out - after all of the horrors you had seen, you were sure that it was a possibility.

Sam on the other hand, was very vocal about his thoughts that you were physically sick. He had seen you at your rock-bottom worst, and he thought that this time it was different.

The relationship you had with Dean was brotherly. You teased one another, fought one another, but ultimately, loved each other unconditionally. He was family to you.

In contrast to Dean, Sam was not so brotherly. You felt a spark when you were around Sam - you had never felt so loved when Sam was around. The way he would pull you in for an embrace kiss the top of your head was more emotionally charged than just a friend would do.

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Single - Part 2

Summary: Dean tries to plan a camping trip for his son and the reader doesn’t make it easy for him.

Pairing: Daddy!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,578

Part 1


“Dean!” Sam’s been pounding on his brother’s front door for minutes now but there’s been no answer. Which is odd considering his precious Impala is parked right in the driveway.

Sam forgoes being polite and proceeds to barge in using his spare key. He’s met with the sound of Metallica’s Fade To Black blaring throughout the house.

The younger Winchester peeks into the backyard and he spots his nephew Drew running around. Sam decides to say hi first before tracking down his brother.

“Hey kid!”

“Uncle Sam!” Drew races right over with his large Rottweiler Spike close behind.

“What’s with the music, buddy?” Sam wonders scratching Spike behind the ears.

“Dad’s stressed out.” Drew rolls his eyes making his uncle laugh.

“Over what?”

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13 Going on 30 (Part 3)

Summary: When your 13th birthday party goes awry, and you make a life changing wish - you wake up to discover you’ve flash forwarded 17 years ahead. 

Word Count: 1,719.

A/N: This part was super fun to write! Hope you enjoy, and feedback would be greatly appreciated. (also can we take a moment to appreciate this beautiful gif)

@spidweeb - you’re a gem, and thank you so much for always being a great help.

Part 1 Part 2

Originally posted by rohgers

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Haikyuu!! Pairings Soulmate AU Headcanons

Headcanons about some of the pairings from Haikyuu!! when they are in a soulmate AU. In this one, they have the first words the others say to them tattooed on their body. If there is a pairing you would like to see headcanons like this for, you’re welcome to request it!

These could be considered continuations of headcanons I did previously that were about when the pairings first met. I used them for inspiration to write these ones. You can find those here.

Thank you for this request!

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you are in love ☾ theo raeken

summary : theo raeken is in love, and it’s evident in all the little things he does for you, even when he doesn’t outright say it.

 insp. by you are in love by taylor swift

   If he hadn’t known it before, he knew it now, sitting at the lunch table outside of his school alone with his own thoughts. 

   Theo was surprised he hadn’t realized it before, but he was never very good at assessing his own feelings, and of course this situation would be no different. It should have been easy for him to read the signs, though. It had been easy for everyone else to understand it. The way his heart tried to beat out of his chest whenever he was around you, the pink tint of his cheeks when you smiled his way, the way you made his head spin and his brain go fuzzy. He realized now that this was all because of his feelings for you, the feelings he would never reveal to you in worry of irrevocably damaging your already tentatively salvaged friendship with him. You had been fine friends before, close even, until you had discovered what he had done to Scott. 

   The hurt look on your face, the betrayal in your eyes, had been haunting Theo even in hell ever since it had happened. His heart had sank in his chest when he saw the way you looked at him that day- like he was a monster- as you screamed at him that you hated him, that you never wanted to see him again. There wasn’t a day that went by where he didn’t hate himself for doing that to you, but he hadn’t tried to approach you. 

   He drummed his fingers on the table, contemplating this, his newfound feelings for you. He had probably felt this way for a long time, too oblivious in his own world of immense self destruction and a craving for glory to notice that he was falling deeper and deeper in love every day. He had ruined everything for himself. He hadn’t known heartbreak until the day you said you hated him, even if the dip in your heartbeat indicated that the words you spoke held no truth to them. Nonetheless, his own feelings were still true, even if he had avoided revealing them to himself. He couldn’t shake you, and wasn’t sure that he wanted to in the first place. 

   The comfortable, contemplative silence he had been bathing in was broken with the sound of soft footsteps making their way toward his empty table in the courtyard behind the school. He glanced up, straightening his posture when he saw you walking determinedly toward him. You slid into the bench seat across from him, your bag hitting the ground. You stared at each other challengingly, daring the other to speak first. It was Theo who broke, as usual. 

    “I thought you said that you hated me.” He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, glancing away. He was reliving the moment again, the moment of his epic demise with you glaring harshly at him and his heart breaking every time. He knew the first time it had been his own brashness, his own stupidity, that made you hate him, but if you were just here to yell at him again he wanted to be able to brace himself for another age of heart ache. He let out a sigh, mumbling, “and you said you never wanted to see me again.” 

     You stared at him, hard, until he eventually lifted his gaze toward you. “Look… I- I didn’t mean it. You must’ve known that when I said… when I said what I did, right? You had to have known.” You rested your elbows on the table, biting your hangnail on the side of your thumb. 

    Across the table, Theo cracked the smallest of smiles. “Aw, feeling a little guilty, babe?” He gave you a playful wink. You smiled back with a lighthearted roll of your eyes, shaking your head at him. 

     You were okay, and you couldn’t help but feel happy about it. 


    “Maybe I should take you back to your place,” Theo said to you, turning his face up. You were both lying on the grass at the park, not in the mood to deal with your respective families and seeking out the last bit of normality you could. For some reason, you had thought of each other when craving this bit of normalcy, hence why you were both staring up at the sky in an empty park at nearly two in the morning, sleep threatening to overtake you. “You look exhausted,” he repeated when noting that you were ignoring him. 

    You picked up your large iced coffee that he had bought you at a Dunkin Donuts too far outside of Beacon Hills to be considered to convenient, holding it up toward him. “That’s why you bought me this coffee, T. So we could stay up and discuss various things about life and whatnot while we hang out tonight. You know caffeine makes me jittery.” You shook the drink in his face, the ice cubes clinking together obnoxiously and making him cringe, his nose crinkling at you. You did it again, annoyingly so. Theo flinched away from the noise that you knew put him on edge, rolling away from you in the grass. “And you get made at me for calling you a dog.” 

   “Shut up,” he laughed, pulling his sweatshirt off once he sat up. There were grass stains all over the material because of his antics. He was lucky he didn’t get cold easily, because the combination of a nighttime breeze and the cold drink clutched in your hand had been making you shiver for over an hour already. Theo noted this with a smirk, shaking his head at you and clicking his tongue. “Forgetful little Y/N neglected to bring a sweatshirt yet again.” 

    “It’s only happened, like, twice!” You protested, elbowing him harshly in the ribs. It wouldn’t hurt him- he had a body like pure steel. Too tough to break most of the time. Theo held out his sweatshirt to you, but you made a face. “Ew, it smells like sweat and it’s dirty, Theo. Boys are all the same. Gross.”

     He wanted to see you in his sweatshirt quite badly, but instead said, “Fine, freeze then. I don’t care either way, sweets.” You deliberately ignored the nickname, as you always did. Finally, you pulled the sweatshirt on, enjoying the way the fabric practically swallowed your body up and the warmth it brought you. He gazed at you for a minute too long before you met his stare with those pretty eyes of yours that had been his salvation so many times in the past but for some reason hadn’t been able to save him from going over the edge and killing Scott that day. He looked away first, murmuring, “Cute.” 

    You paused. “Did you say something?” 

     “I said you look dumb,” he lied. “It practically drowns you.” He was teasing you, so you shrugged it off, smacking his shoulder before pulling your knees up to your chest and resting your cheek there. Thinking better of himself, Theo moved closer to you, his shoulder bumping against yours. He tried not to notice how pretty you appeared in the moonlight that washed you, but it was too much. “I’m just kidding. You look really pretty. Hey, look, we can see all the stars from right here-” he didn’t want you to dwell too much on the pretty comment, he liked you for so much more than just that, so took your hand and helped you point out the different constellations in the sky. 

    He had let go of your hand almost as quickly as he had grabbed it, but it was enough for him. 


   He forgot to ask for his sweatshirt back, but it was okay. He never liked it that much anyway. He thought it looked better on you. When you got home that night, after he had dropped you off, you didn’t bother to throw the sweatshirt in the wash. It was weird, but you liked that it smelled just as nice as Theo always did, so you hung it up behind your closet door and left it alone. You didn’t want to wear it, lest the pack get the wrong idea. 

   Sometimes, though, you weren’t sure if you cared. 

   Theo drives you to school every day, an iced coffee always waiting for you in the cupholder just the way he knows you like it. Sometimes he throws in a jelly donut, too, but more often than not he eats the donut himself because he can’t remember to buy two. “You know you don’t need to go out of your way to get me coffee every morning,” you said one day, pinching the straw between your fingers and taking a sip of your drink. 

   “Don’t feel special, I just like stealing your coffee,” he quipped. You held out your drink, and he turned his head to take a sip. “Thanks, doll,” he winked at you, like he always did when he was aiming to piss you off, but you didn’t even bat an eyelash. 

   “No problem, sweetheart,” you replied simply, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. He felt his face warm, and he tilted his head up to look in the mirror and saw that his cheeks were indeed a soft shade of pink. He hoped you wouldn’t notice. “You feeling okay, T?” You asked suddenly, pressing a hand to his face. “You’re really warm.” 

   He chuckled anxiously, moving his head away from you. “Yeah, I’m fine. No worries, Y/N. Ready for that English test?” You nodded eagerly, and he swore you were the only person he knew that would ever get excited about taking an exam. If it had been anyone else, he would have scowled at them and told them they were ridiculous to be hyped about a test, but it wasn’t just anyone. 

  It was you. 


   “Theo, can you come over?” Quivering voice, shaky breathing, you sounded terrified over the phone. Quicker than Barry Allen himself, Theo slid out of bed and began fumbling around for his shoes, not waiting for you to tell him what was wrong. It didn’t matter. What mattered was getting to you. 

   “On my way, Y/N,” he said softly, tying his laces with clumsy fingers as he tried to balance his phone between his cheek and shoulder. You sniffled on the other end, rubbing your nose harshly. “Are you hurt? Are you okay?” He was making his way out the front door, keys jingling. He opened the car door and slid into the front seat, trying to start up his car as quickly as he could. As he was pulling out of the driveway, you answered his previous question. 

    “I hate being alone a-and I just can’t take the dark anymore, okay? I’m really sorry.” Theo sighed with relief. He wouldn’t have been able to handle it if you had been in trouble, or hurt, or worse. He couldn’t even think about such things without wanting to rip his own heart out, it was that painful of a thought. “You don’t have to come over.” 

    “No, no, I’m already here,” he answered, parking his car. “Open the door for me?” The line went dead and he listened for your footsteps pounding down the stairs in your house as he made his way to the front door. When you swung open the door, your nose running and your hair in disarray, Theo immediately pulled you into a hug. Your hands were shaking as you clung to him. 


    In the darkness of your bedroom, you were sitting next to Theo on your bed, his arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders. You were scared of being alone sometimes, after everything that’s happened, which is why you had called him. It was embarrassing to think about, and you hated that you had been so vulnerable just a few minutes ago, but Theo made you want to let go of such insecurities. He was there for you. He made you not want to be scared, even in the pitch black darkness of the night with the silence overwhelming you. 

   “Thanks for being here, Theo,” you whispered, finding his shoulder in the dark and resting your head on him, curling your legs underneath you as he eased back into the headboard. 

    “You know I’ll always be here for you.” 

     “I do.” 

     A little while later, you both slid underneath the covers, doing your best not to touch. He had never stopped being nervous around you, no matter how cocky he was sometimes. He made sure not to overstep his boundaries despite sharing the same pillow as you, in the same bed. It was comfortably quiet this time. He almost fell asleep right there, but instead turned over so that he was facing your back instead of your window. “Y/N?” 

    You flipped over. “Yeah, T?”

     “You’re my best friend.” 

     And even though he didn’t come right out and say it, you knew what it was, what he meant. You reached out for him, taking own of his hands in your own and giving it a squeeze. He took a deep breath, feeling safer than he had in a long time. Before he went to sleep, he understood what this was, what he felt, better than he had before. He was in love. 

while i dont think joseph and mary should have stayed together (primarily because joseph is written to be a serial cheater and using the fact that mary wont or even cant properly stand up for herself to him and also mary clearly having gotten over the idea of having children, assuming she wanted any in the first place. i personally feel like joseph was lying to you when he said ‘heeeyy me and mary are through lets fuck’ because he didn’t even hesitate or even take time to let himself recuperate), theyre most definitely staying together for the sake of the children. a divorce can really hit one kid hard, let alone four.

now had joseph and mary really decided to stay apart for a while and joseph stay on his yacht, if mary were really abusing her children do you really really really think joseph would have left them all in mary’s care? why wouldn’t he insist she go stay at a hotel or with her parents or take them to his yacht himself? why would he leave the ‘abusive mother’ in charge of four children?

probably because, again, we were manipulated in game and out of game to believe that mary was a bad parent and wife. just because she chooses not to go find crish at the bbq really doesnt mean anything. she had 3 kids prior and i feel like she would know what shes doing by now in terms of having a toddler. everyone wants to accuse her of being a bad mother for not finding her toddler when its actually extremely normal for parents with 3 children to be aware of what the youngest will end up doing because having kids is a learning experience.

now is that a correct attitude to have? not necessarily but mary seems to know her children fairly well. she knows what the twins can and cant handle (ie; she knows they love horror movies, it’s not common but there are quite a few children who find a keen adoration for horror flicks at a young age), she knows that chris isn’t very outspoken (because he’s autistic), and she knows crish can survive for more than 5 minutes without getting into serious trouble (bcause she’s had to deal with 3 other toddlers).

the only times we really see joseph with any of the kids is with christie and they’re being happy and close. chris we can’t really gauge his opinion of either of his parents, and christian just bails at any chance he can get. christie seems to love her father, most likely her mother too. the kids arent aware they have marital issues because joseph and mary keep that private. they don’t want the kids to worry about their relationship.

mary doesn’t cheat, she just flirts because she likes seeing younger men uncomfortable. it’s funny to her and when a guy seems to want to take her up on her offer, she’s fully aware that he’ll back out when she starts getting weird about it which is why she says “don’t make checks your dick cant cash” she knows hes bluffing because its mary, she’s smarter than we’re led to believe.

joseph on the other hand, we are fully aware of two accounts that he cheated. robert and mc. had it been one time, i feel like mary wouldn’t hold much malice, especially considering she becomes close with robert. but somewhere in the middle of joseph sleeping with robert and mc moving to maplebay, joseph does it a second time, possibly a third if the timeframe allows it. now i feel like joseph started pursuing a sexual relationship with robert after roberts wife died and his daughter left because he knew robert was emotionally compromised but i covered that in a different post. but joseph knowing to go for someone emotionally compromised leads me to believe robert wasnt his first offense.

mary easily becomes friends with robert and i wouldn’t doubt it if she becomes friends easier with people she can bitch about joseph with. so quite possibly, joseph slept with several people that mary is now friends with (maybe not damien, that’d be a stretch. possibly neil, though. robert and mary seem to adore neil). that’s probably why mary is so upset with him. joseph thinks his cheating his completely to himself and the people he slept with when mary is waiting for him to admit it because every person he’s slept with has come to her and told her about it with the same story of “he took me to his yacht, told me you two were through, and then fucked me.” this feels slightly more reinforced to me since if i remember correctly, when examining the bedroom of the yacht, mc mentions how the decor is older in style.

mary should most certainly stand up for herself and call joseph out on her bullshit, just letting it happen isn’t healthy for herself or her family especially since joseph is part of the cause for her drinking problem at this point. but she cant, she wants to be able to wait for her kids to be old enough to understand their reasoning. joseph knows from the outside it looks like they have marital problems so he uses it to his advantage which only causes more and more problems. when it comes to joseph? mary is a pushover because she loves him but she’s so tired of all the lies. there is no doubt in my mind that joseph loves mary too, but the way he’s using her as a ploy to get laid is absolutely inexcusable.

its deeper than just “THEY HAVE ISSUES THEY NEED TO BREAK UP RIGHT NOW (and joseph needs to date my dadsona *heavy breathing*)” because when you take into consideration how they interact with the kids, how much each of them are fucking up, how old the kids are, how much time and money and custody issues it would take especially since at least one of them are most definitely in school and probably already has issues in his classes; a divorce isn’t doable. i get it, everyone only wants the best for these fictional characters, but not every abusive relationship is just like “let me snap my fingers and just leave haha! it couldn’t negatively effect anyone!”

i get how this can seem like im in favor of one character or the other, but i actually genuinely love both mary and joseph very much. they’re two of my favorite characters in the whole game and i’m only doing what i can to understand their situation.

The One With An Unintended Rescue

Pairing: Jace Wayland x Reader

Summary: When Simon brings Jace along to check up on you, his sister, Jace ends up kicking your abusive boyfriends ass and getting you away from him.

Warnings:

implied domestic abuse 


MASTERLIST (mobile and desktop)
(you can like it and save it for later!)


Jace and Simon were not buddies, but they shared a mutual interest; Clary. Or rather, her wellbeing.

And because of it, Jace had somehow got stuck driving Simon around for the night while he tried to find Camille’s whereabouts.

In his head, he was going over all the things he’d rather be doing, but he knew this was a priority; he just hated that it involved Simon.

“Can we make a stop somewhere?” Simon asks.

“Is it on our schedule?” Jace asks pointedly.

Simon shakes his head, “It’ll only take a second. It’s just here…” he points out the window, “On our way, you see.”

Jace reluctantly pulls into the driveway Simon directs him too and climbs out, following him to the front door.

“A mundane house? Really?” Jace scoffs.

“My sister’s house,” Simon explains with a frown, “Well, her shared house.”

“Who does she share it with?”

“Her boyfriend and two other idiots,” he says, his frown deepening.

“What, you don’t like her boyfriend?”

Simon exhales loudly and shakes his head, knocking on the door before Jace can ask why. They could hear shouting on the other side of he door and it momentarily subsides as it swings open.

“Y/N,” Simon sighs in reliefat the sight of you, his smile contorting into a frown as he studies your face. You’d been crying. A lot. Your hair was messy and you had your arms wrapped around yourself.

“Simon,” you wrap your arms around him, “I didn’t know you’d be stopping by.”

You look over your shoulder every few seconds.

“Did he hit you?” Simon asks, moving hair away from your face. You shake your head vigorously, but he notices you wincing each time you move.

“I’m fine,” you reassure him, turning to Jace, “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Jace,” Simon introduces him.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you say, holding a hand out. Jace shakes it slowly, his eyes pinned on your swollen wrist.

“Who the fucks at the door?!” a boy yells, joining you in the doorway.

“It’s just my brother, Luke,” you say.

“Huh, four eyes,” Luke scoffs, his speech a drunken slur, “What happened to your glasses? D’you lose em’?”

“Actually, I don’t need them anymore,” he says.

“Too bad, I’ll have to think of another nickname for you,” Luke says, laughing loudly and clapping a hand to Simon’s shoulder. His eyes shift to Jace.

“Who is he?”

“Just Simon’s friend,” you tell him. Luke steps closer to him.

“Really? Because he looks like that guy who was hitting on you at dinner the other night…”

“What?” you frown, “No – that’s- it’s not him. You’re drunk. Why don’t you go rest?” you suggest, resting your hand on his arm. He yanks it away, poking a finger into Jace’s chest.

“You’re that bastard, aren’t you?”

Jace scoff’s, pushing Luke’s hand away, “No,” he deadpans.

Simon steps between the two of them, “I think y/n’s right. Maybe you should go back inside.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Luke spits, shoving Simon’s backwards.

You pull Luke back, pleading him to stop and he shoves you against the wall, pinning you there, “Come on babe,” he growls, “I’m just having a little chat with your brother.”

You swallow hard, trying to squirm out of his grasp by which time Jace grabs him and throws him across the driveway as though he was light as a feather.

“Are you okay?” Jace asks you. You nod slowly, your eyes widening as Luke rushes towards him with his fist pulled back.

“WATCH OUT!” you yell, but Jace is already a step ahead of you. He catches Luke’s fist in his hand and twists his wrist back until Luke drops to his knees, whimpering in pain.

Jace kicks him in the gut before slamming his head against the wall.

“He’s not dead,” Simon reassures you when he notices your hands are clapped over your mouth, “He’ll wake up.”

“And you won’t be here when he does,” Jace says pointedly. He pulls Simon aside.

“How could you let her stay here?” he growls.

“I didn’t know he was hurting her,” Simon says, “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve barely seen my family since I transitioned!”

“Well, you didn’t like him to begin with! You said so before!”

“They started dating in High School and I hated him back than because he was a jerk. I never thought he was capable of… this,” Simon trails off, his eyes pained, “But you’re right. We have to get her out of here.”

“I’ll sort something out,” Jace reassures Simon, “She’ll be safe with me, I promise you. In the meantime, you have to keep looking for Camille. Raphael isn’t kidding about using your mom as leverage to get you to do what he wants.”

Simon nods, walking back over to you.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he sighs.

“I didn’t know what to do,” you choke, finally crying as he hugs you, “C-can I go home with you?” you ask.

“Of course,” he nods, “Jace will take you. I just have something to do but I’ll join you as soon as I can,” he says, resting his hands on either side of your face, “You can trust Jace.”

You nod climbing into the car. You don’t look at Jace as he reverses back onto the street but instead at Simon was waving at you with a sad look in his eyes. Jace had it too and it made you feel so small – that everyone knew how broken you’d become.

“I’ve seen photos of you,” Jace says, breaking the silence, “At Simon’s house. You look different in person.”

You knew what he meant. You mother had big, smiling photos of you all over the house from before you’d left.

“Those photos are from when I still lived at home,” you say.

“Why’d you leave?” he asks quietly.

You think for a minute, “When I started dating Luke in high school, my mum wouldn’t let me see him and I really resented her for it. We fought all the time and the minute I graduated, I moved in with him. Of course, she was completely right about him,” you mumble.

“Why didn’t you leave him?” he asks.

“Because I had nowhere to go,” you say, “And… he wasn’t always like this. He never used to…” you trail off, “He took care of me. He still does. It’s just sometimes, he get’s so angry. And I didn’t want to abandon him.”

Jace shakes his head, “Sometimes you have to let people go. Trust me, this is for the best.”

You did trust him. Something about him made you feel like you could.

“So, Simon’s never told me about you,” you say.

“Well, we’re only acquaintances,” Jace says.

“Simon wouldn’t leave me with an acquaintance, he’s very overprotective despite me being a year older than him,” you say pointedly.

“So, you’re the same age as me then,” he nods, “I guess Simon and I are friends, in some weird way.”

“How’d you meet?”

“Through Clary,” he admits honestly.

“Ah, Clary,” you say with a small smile, “Has Simon-“

“Yup, they’re dating now,” he says.

“You don’t look too happy about it,” you raise a brow.

“She’s… my sister,” he says, slightly bitterly, “I feel about Simon the way Simon feels about Luke.”

“Simon’s nothing like Luke. You have nothing to worry about,” you reassure him.

“I know, your brother’s a good guy,” he grumbles, rolling his eyes, “I just don’t like to admit it.”

You laugh softly, cuddling your knees to your chest and resting your chin on them, “So, where are we going?”

“Someplace safe,” he says, “Where I’m currently staying. At least until Simon gets back. Is that okay?”

You nod quietly.

He pull up outside a large building and you both take the elevator up to the top floor.

“Magnus?” Jace calls out. A man steps out from behind a bookshelf.

“I thought I told you no girls over after midnight!” Magnus sighs in frustration, “Alec and I-“

“She isn’t a date,” Jace says, clearing his throat, “This is Simon’s sister.”

It’s only them that Magnus takes a proper look at you. At your smudged mascara and bruised skin.

“Is it okay if we wait here until Simon comes by?” Jace asks.

Magnus nods, “Make yourself at home,” he tells you, “My boyfriend and I are going out for dinner so you can relax. Take a bath,” he says, his eyes soft.

You thank him and wait for him to leave to exhale loudly. As of tonight, no one would ever have to look at you with sad eyes again because you promise yourself, you’ll never go back to Luke.

Maybe someone knocking him out and dragging you away was exactly what you needed to start afresh.

Jace disappears into a room and then comes back out, “I left some clothes for you on my bed. Why don’t you take a shower while I get some dinner ready?” he suggests. His voice was so soft and reassuring.

You nod, slinking into his room.

When you walk back out in his clothes, he laughs a little, “They seem to fit you,” he says sarcastically. They were all too big, but it made you feel protected. Maybe it was how big they were or just the smell of Jace lingering on his clothes.

He hands you a bowl of spaghetti, “I can’t make much else,” he admits.

“Thankyou,” you say appreciatively. You finish within seconds – you weren’t sure when you’d last had a proper meal.

Jace’s eyes are pinned on you almost the entire night. He was worried he’d do something wrong or say something to upset you – he didn’t have much of a filter after all. But you just laughed and made jokes and asked him about his life like you weren’t suffering the tiniest bit – like you’d never suffered a day in your life.

“So that’s how you know how to fight,” you nod after Jace tells you an elaborate story about how he’s a trainer at a boxing studio downtown.

He nods, “I can teach you sometime, if you want?”

“I’d like that,” you smile.

There’s a knock at the door and then Simon walks in, pulling you into a tight hug before ruffling your hair, “I talked to mum. She started crying when I told her you were coming home,” Simon says with a soft smile, “She’s missed you.”

Simon looks at Jace, “Thanks for looking after her tonight.”

“Anytime,” he says, “Really. Anytime.”

Simon frowns slightly, looking between the two of you, “I’ll get a cab,” he says, “Meet me downstairs?”

You nod, waiting for him to leave.

“Thanks for everything. For dinner and for… for getting me out of there,” you mumble, “If not for you and Simon, I probably never would’ve left at all.”

“Sometimes we just need a push in the right direction,” he shrugs, “I’m here. If you need anything. Ever,” he says sincerely, “And I meant what I said. If you ever want to learn how to fight, just ask me. You seem like a fighter to me,” he grins.

“I think I’ll take you up on that,” you say, waving to him before heading downstairs.

Simon waits, leaning against the cab and looking up at the terrace as Jace watches the two of you from it.

Simon looks from Jace to you as he pulls the cab door open, “I think Jace likes you,” Simon says.

You’d barely considered the possibility, but it made you feel a little bit more hopeful… a little excited, even.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to date him. I know you two aren’t best friends.”

Simon smiles at you, “No, we’re not. But he’d be good for you.”

psycho 06 / taehyung

Originally posted by chokaivlicious

warning and a note: this story has some sexual harassment in it so if you are uncomfortable with reading this kind of story please stop right here, i understand this might be hurtful to some people but this is just my crazy imagination and I’m sorry if you have ever experienced anything like this and I also wish this doesn’t happen to anyone ever, i know that taehyung isn’t like this in real life this is just a story / mentions of death are in this chapter & blood

summary: just read 

ALL OTHER CHAPTERS CLICK HERE!

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anonymous asked:

Rfa+v+saeran cheating on the mc ? But they make up after a while :''>

☆o(><;)○ I don’t mind writing them cheating for angst purposes, but I am not going to write them getting back together.
Nothing against you, it’s just a personal pet peeve due to many failed relationships I’ve watched over the years. Don’t… Get back with someone who cheated on you. Odds are they’ll do it again, and think you’re just someone for them to fall back on.

Yoosung

- He loved you, he really absolutely did

- But… You always treated him like a kid. He was just a year younger than you! 

- He never really let it bother him much until he met a girl on the Shooting Star sever. I mean, it wasn’t anything new- A lot of his guild mates where girls and you knew that. But, she looked up to him? Treated him like he was a really strong guy?

- He appreciated it and didn’t really let it advance until she offered him some super rare items she had happened upon. Stuff he never ran into all his years of playing! 

- But if he wanted it… He had to send a few shirtless pictures.

- That wasn’t too bad, right? I mean, guys walked around without their shirts! I was normal…?

- But then she sends some back… And starts teasing him sexually… And before he can help it he’s already hard and straining against his jeans

- The two of you hadn’t even gotten to the kinky stuff yet in your relationship, and… Here he was getting it already.

- He didn’t even spend five minutes contemplating. He sent her a dick pic, got the item, and hurried offline to jerk off.

- The next day you came over, and he was just sweating the whole time. You asked him if he was sick, not feeling well, etc etc. He just brushed it off, made some flimsy excuse that even he knew you were suspicious of.

- But, you drop the subject. Start hanging around and playing your handheld while he does a raid in LOLOL

- After a while he’s completely immersed as you loosely wrap your arms around his shoulders, watching him play. Giving him little words of encouragement.

- When his group finishes, you kiss the top of his head and start pointing on the screen, talking about the cool loot he got

- And then he gets a whisper on the chat, and he doesn’t even have enough time to hide it before you read it

“That picture of yours kept me company over and over again last night, Yoosung. I came three times just from a dick pic alone~ What do you think sex with each other would be like? ;)”

- You lose it. He can’t even come up with an excuse- The message is way too explicit to even joke that it’s from some guy friend playing a prank.

- You’re just trying your best not to cry, demanding to know how long it’s been going on- Not believing the answers he says

- And why should you? 

- He doesn’t know what to do as you grab your stuff and slam the door shut behind you. He can’t even manage to get the guts to try following you.

Zen

- He loved you, you were his princess

- But a man had his needs, you know?

- He was worried about your relationship, how he felt like he couldn’t advance sexually with you, and he often voiced this to his make-up artist

- A woman he knew for years- Ever since he started working for this theatre.

- She was sweet, beautiful, and always listened to him. Hell, sometimes she’d be his drinking buddy if he needed one. (And damn could she nearly drink him under the table)

- Apparently, she didn’t have a lot of morals, though.

- And apparently, he hadn’t changed much from back when he was in that gang

- A drinking trip with some theatre buds turned into a weird bar date with his make-up artist.

- I mean… You didn’t know. You were home, cleaning…Possibly cooking… Just being too cute and simple. 

- Way too simple.

- After the both of them were buzzed, his complaints of you turned harsher, voicing his needs to be able to get off just once for fucks sake 

- And his make-up artist was more than willing to oblige. I mean, he was sculpted like a fucking god. Who wouldn’t want some of him?

- He came home reeking of beer and smoke- Lipstick on his neck and traveling lower. Hell, there were even traces on his lips.

- And he was way too buzzed and blissed out to care as you started crying, started asking what the hell happened

- He just rolled his shoulder, getting you off of him, and loudly proclaiming he was going to shower and go to bed

- When he got out, you were gone. But his phone lit up with a sexy text, and he still couldn’t be bothered to care about your absence. 

Jumin

- You really thought you had changed him. He showed his emotions more, he even treated Jaehee nicer. Hell, he even stopped pestering Zen so much.

- He treated you like a princess- A queen. Buying you so many things, letting you use his card for shopping trips. I mean, you didn’t beg for this to happen- He just shoved them on you and nearly begged you to go out to buy things. 

- You didn’t understand why he was so adamant, until you decided you didn’t feel like shopping one day and came home pretty early.

- You walked in to Elizabeth in her cage and was immediately confused. Jumin never put her in a cage? Unless he wanted to keep her away, but even then that was rare.

- Then you heard groaning from down the hall, and you felt your heart stop.

- You don’t know how you managed to get your legs to move, but you slowly stepped down the hall, taking a deep breath before peering into the bedroom

- Finding Jumin’s back shoved against the bed, being dominated by another man.

- You couldn’t help it, you let out a loud gasp- Some gross choked sound that caused both of them to stop and look towards the door- At you

- But you didn’t stand there long. You felt your eyes spill and you just darted out- Grabbing your phone and purse and booking it. You needed out- Needed somewhere to think. To breathe.

- Jumin let out a grumbled sigh as you left. He knew he should have locked the door- But he was too pent up- Too eager to finally get off for once.

- He heard the other man whistle and get ready to pull out, but Jumin harshly wrapped his legs around him.

- “I never said stop, did I?”

Jaehee

- I’m not going to sugar coat this- I have NO fucking idea how or why she would cheat on you. I even discussed it with a few friends and the most serious answer we could come up with is her cheating on you with coffee beans. orz

Seven

- He didn’t deserve you. He didn’t, and no matter how many times he told you this, you never listened

- Harsh nights of him pushing you away? You were right there beside him. Him trying to do a self-depreciating joke? You took it seriously and wrapped him in a hug of kind words.

- He felt so disgusting.

- He loved you, but he didn’t deserve you. He tried everything to let you know that, but you just blew it all off, like the wonderful person you were.

- So he finally resorted to this.

- He knew you were going to be home soon. He didn’t even attempt to hide what he was doing. 

- Just some random woman had hit on him. He actually tried being alluring for once, and it worked.

- So he took her back to his place, ignoring her comments on the security of his home.

- And took her right on the couch- The first thing you would see once you opened the doors

- He had it timed so well that you walked in right in the middle of it

- He heard bags drop, and you try to stifle some gasps as the woman he was fucking immediately scrambled out of his grasp.

- You just left. Didn’t even try to grab your things- You just up and left, while the other woman berated him for getting her caught up in such a mess.

- When they were both gone he just laughed. Just laughed to himself and regained his breath.

- Finally, you got that he didn’t deserve you.

V

- He wanted more pain. He just constantly felt guilt, and nothing but guilt, from being in a relationship with you

- You were so beautiful, so kind, so forgiving. You weren’t anything like he was used to.

- Being abused, being blamed, being a scapegoat. 

- No matter how loving you were to him, no matter what help he received, he just wanted the old relationship again. He wanted Rika.

- He couldn’t see that well, but what he could see he knew you looked nothing like her. Not even the same height or hair length.

- So… Behind your back he started seeing someone that reminded him more of her. Even how they met was nearly the same. She had long blonde hair, she was short and cute. God, she even nearly sounded the same.

- Maybe it was Rika coming back? A revenge of hers?

- He was just so hungry for that pain again- For his guilt to have a reason for existing. To have a reason to suffer for someone again.

- Amidst all of these emotions flooding back, he didn’t even think about you as he asked her out for coffee

- Didn’t even consider that you lived close by to the coffee shop they went to

- Didn’t even think you may walk by as he held her hand, leaning in close to drown in every word that spilled out of her mouth

- He jumped as he felt a water bottle slam into his shoulder. He couldn’t tell who did it, but as soon as he heard his date exclaim, he remembered he was still with you.

- He listened as you babbled through sudden strained sobbing, as you demanded to know what you did wrong, demanded to know what you lacked

- He didn’t speak. He just let you stand there and make a fool of yourself, let others stare and whisper, let his date shoo you away

- Hours later, when he came home, he wasn’t surprised to see it lacking your things. It was almost peaceful- Everything looks more minimalistic. His heart did ache, but he was so glad for that pain again

- He was glad he never took any pictures of you.

Saeran

- He hated how clingy you were. He hated how you just accepted all of his issues without any hesitation. 

- He was so fucked up. How could you not see that?

- You were so fucking stupid. So fucking stupid to think he could be in a relationship with you.

- He didn’t even try to hide him cheating. He was just slightly surprised it took you a week to notice, once he started the habit

- The habit of just fucking girls in hotel rooms, instead of attending any dates you set up for him

- The only way you found out was because he was answering a text he got on one of his throw away phones as you cuddled up to him. You saw the contact name, the sexual messages, and froze as he answered it like nothing was wrong

- “I. Is that? Was that?”

- “Yeah.”

- He was just so fucking tired of everyone treating him like he was so blameless, like he was a victim. No one considered that he just didn’t give a fuck, that he liked hurting people. Shoving them away.

- He didn’t deserve people giving him kindness, and he wasn’t afraid to show that.

- You just slowly got out of the bed, trying your best not to cry as he ignored you. After a few sniffles, you grabbed your purse and left. 

- No texts, no nothing. Just the occasional Saeyoung pissed off at him for once.

- Whatever. At least he was getting laid.


(ఠ్ఠ ˓̭ ఠ్ఠ)

Arresting Officer

Earlier this year, I Everlarked a murder mystery book into a birthday present for @peetabreadgirl. At the same time, she was working on Writer’s Block as a birthday present for me. Both of us meant to write something short, but as usually happens with fanfic, things got out of hand fast. She’s about to wrap up my present, just in time for my next birthday, lol. It’s been insane but fun and next year…we really need to stick to oneshots for b-day presents. ;-) Love you! Anyhow, in the meantime, I’ve cooked up a little something something from the world of Leading Suspects to bribe or coerce her into giving us that last chapter already, damn it! You’ve got two months until my next birthday, PBJ!!!

A million thank you’s to @katamount for beta reading this sucker.

RATED M. Enjoy some Hump Day Smut! Or Wanton Wednesday…whatever.


“Happy Halloween!” the Perkins kids call out as they skip away with the last of my candy. I wave and return the sentiment, waiting an appropriate amount of time to make sure they safely cross the street to their own house before I shut the door and turn off the porch light. Moving through the house, I tidy each room, turn off all the lights, and work myself into a weird state of aroused anxiety.

I’ve got a treat to prepare.

At least I hope he thinks it’s a treat.

Maybe it’s too cliché. I’ve never done anything like this before, but Peeta’s always leaving me small surprises. A wildflower in a glass of water to signal that spring has arrived and the mountains are bedecked in all her finery. An impromptu evening picnic on our cliffside spot. A note tucked under Theo to make me blush or laugh. While I love that he does these small things, I struggle in reciprocating them most of the time, rejecting every idea I come up with as not enough or too silly. Until this one grabbed my interest and wouldn’t let go.

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