they just give me a lot feels

@the anon calling me ugly without make-up. I usually wouldn’t care so much to give a serious answer to a random negative ask but I’ve seen this going on lately with all this “you’re not pretty without make-up” bullshit towards a lot of girls. I know I may not be the prettiest and not even close to pretty but I can tell you one thing for sure: I fucking love myself. It’s neither narcissistic nor snobbish or idk. It’s just nature. We should all love ourselves and work on ourselves to make us better people. I never wanted to go out without make-up cause I’d feel terribly ugly like you said. But I’ve had enough of this. I would never give two shits about a bunch of people who would treat me differently just because some features of my face are accentuated or hidden. I still fucking love make-up as a form of art, not as something that would hide my insecurities. So, from the bottom of my heart, you can fuck all the way off and please stop spreading your negativity. Lots of love.

I knew Emmerdale and Robert wouldn’t let me down. Look how far we’ve come.

Robert Sugden is going to willingly and voluntarily tell Aaron Dingle, the love of his life, the one person that he would do anything for, would literally die for. The one person that he is the most afraid of losing. The one person that he knows that he could not live without. He’s going to tell that person that he slept with Rebecca and got her pregnant. Not because he has too, not because Ross is blackmailing him. Not because he thinks that there’s going to still be a baby at the end of all this, but because he actually can’t live with the guilt of lying to Aaron. He actually wants to try to be a better person for the man that he loves. 

Andy was right when he said that Aaron makes Robert a better person, and here we are again, getting further evidence of that, as if we needed anymore. If this were anyone else Robert would be merrily going about his way, not worrying about the fact that he was lying to him, but he can’t because it’s Aaron. 

I love that there is nothing forcing him into doing this anymore. Ross has backed off thanks to Rebecca. As far as he knows Rebecca is no longer pregnant. He’s got away with it, but he doesn’t want to and that just makes my heart sing and break at the same time. 

I also love that it’s not a heat of the moment decision, like Aaron says or does something that makes him confess. He’s thought about it and he knows what he’s doing. He’s making a conscious, considered decision that could end his relationship with Aaron and he’s willing to risk that for the sake of Aaron knowing the truth. 

I’m just imaging him now tonight and tomorrow stealing glances at Aaron when he thinks he’s not looking, just watching him as he goes about his day, memorising every little thing about Aaron and his habits, as if he hasn’t done that already. But this could be the last day that he gets to spend with the love of his life and that has got to be devastating and terrifying, and yet despite that he’s going to do the right thing and confess. 

Well that got long and rambly, but if you couldn’t tell I have a lot of feelings about this and I just love the way that they have worked up to this reveal being all about Roberts decision, no one’s forcing him into it.

anonymous asked:

Recently, I've been having a lot of really bad days and I'm always upset and have really bad panic attacks but I don't really have anyone to actually help me through them, so do you know anything hat would help ease the stress a little? That would help a lot. Also, I fucking love your art they're the reason why I'm still alive and I mean that as literal as possible.

I dont really feel like im great at giving advice but im gonna try my best!
Its okay to feel overwhelmed and stressed out, and its okay to take time for yourself. Try taking a hot shower or maybe a nice bath. Take a walk so you can just get out for a little a put some distance between you and the stressful stuff. Read if thats something that calms you. Watch an old movie you love and just try to let yourself be at easy bc its okay to take time for yourself.
I hope this helps even just a little
Lots of love Nonny💕

Is it just me or was there a lot of foreshadowing in this chapter of Daiya? Like Miyuki possibly aiming for the Major League and Eijun polishing his English to follow? (or is this just wishful thinking? They could someday play with or against Chris ♥)

Now I really want Miyuki to use a wooden bat at Koshien. And Sawamura’s batting looks better too!

And sweet Nori found his calling :D

This chapter was so good!

anonymous asked:

Ok, so im writing a story and two of the characters (a girl and guy) have loved each other since childhood and guy hasn't said anything because he doesnt think that she feels the same and the girl hasn't said anything because she's scared that he won't return the feelings and their friendship will get awkward and they won't talk anymore. Could you please give me idea's on how the girl slips up and accidentally tells him her feelings? Thank you!!! I love this blog so much ;u;

Thank you! I am glad you like it! It means a lot to me. So, there is a couple ways you could have her let it slip. 

1. Causal. Causal confessions of love are usually very sweet and often funny. It’s usually just a slip of the tongue. For example “Shut up, you’re lucky I love you.”  this is a very ordinary sentence, people say it all the time. I say it all the time. However, depending on the tone in which is  said, you can catch a whole different meaning. Especially if its the first time the person has ever said the words ‘i love you’. 

2. Third party. Having her tell someone else she trusts about her love is another way her feelings can get back to the boy. Eiether A. The third party repeats the truth to the boy. or B. the boy overhears the whole, or sometimes only parts of the confession. In the situation he would usually hear the whole truth about him lover her, or only her saying that she’s in love, but he has no idea as to whom she is in love with. 

3. Heat of the moment. This is kinda common too, and it’s not a bad choice, as its usually a highly emotional scene. In a fit of either rage, sadness, or jealousy, declares their love without realizing it. Usually to criticize or take it back. Example: “I cant believe I am in love with someone like you!” The aftermath of this is usually a lot of shock from both characters. 

I really hope this helps. I am sorry, I am not that good with romance, but I really tried my best. I wish you luck, and if something isnt clear or if you have any other questions, please feel free to contact me. 

Ok, this whole scene gives me lots and lots of feels…and the proposal is exciting…but I really think this may be my favorite moment. When they both relax into each other after the adrenaline of the day has cooled, after all of the emotions. Closing their eyes, and just enjoying each other the comfort the other offered.

Relationship Goals

anonymous asked:

Hey , so this is just me asking a question and just gaining perspective, but why might jews be zionist? Im muslim and unfortunately there are a lot of bad feelings toward jewish people and i would like to get facts straight from an actual jewish person. Ignorance is what divides us man, even i had a prejudice but im trying to work over what has been ingrained in me so

Alright. I think the best way for me to give you the best possible perspective is to flip some things around and explain a big hypothetical situation to you.

We’re going to pretend for a moment that Islam is an ancient ethno-religion. It’s now thousands of years old. Being Muslim depends on your bloodline, and it takes a lot for an outsider to join. At least a year of study, where a community has to accept you and Rabbis have to interview you – which is like a strange kind of adoption.

Because I’m not a Muslim, I’m far from an expert in your faith, but for the sake of argument, let’s say that this hypothetical Muslim people was from Saudi Arabia. Muslims lived there, practiced their faith there – that’s their homeland. Muslims feel that amazing connection to Saudi Arabia. Part of their prayers are about Saudi Arabia and Mecca being the most important religious and cultural part of their heritage. Secular Muslims have that link there, because whilst they may not believe in the faith, that’s where their blood comes from. 

Two thousand years ago, the Romans stormed this hypothetical Saudi Arabia. Muslims there tried to fight them off, but basically, they lost. Some Muslims stayed in Saudi Arabia, but most were forced out of the country and expelled into the diaspora – into other countries that weren’t their home. The Romans wanted to destroy Muslim links to Saudi Arabia, so they renamed the country  Petraea.

Because being a Muslim is about community and bloodline, these Muslim tribes stuck together. That was pretty easy, considering few around them trusted them. Some of the Muslims had to escape up towards Russia first. With some mixing with locals, those Muslims – with the same strict religious rules in place – ended up having families with lighter skin. Other Muslims had to escape across the north of Africa and the Mediterranean, and descendants looked more olive-skinned and maybe a little darker. Others again escaped further south into Africa, to India, to China. With some mixing with locals, but keeping religious and cultural traditions, now Muslims look very diverse. Black, white, Arab, Chinese, Indian. But their faith, culture and heritage never wavers. The different groups pick up some extra traditions thanks to the locals around them, but they’re still all equally Muslim as the Muslims who are still in Saudi Arabia.

They all never stop yearning to go home to Saudi Arabia and Mecca. One day, they are all absolutely sure that they’ll go home and they’ll finally be safe.

During this time, most of the locals around them despise them. Muslims are abused and murdered for being Muslim. Groups of Muslims are rounded up and killed en masse. So some Muslims keep escaping further to the West. There are conspiracy theories. Everything bad that happens is because of Muslims. Muslims are said to kill and drink the blood of innocent non-Muslims to celebrate the end of Ramadan. Muslims are persecuted and forced to convert to Judaism or Christianity under pain of death. Are tortured if they don’t.

Christians spread the belief that all Muslims are evil and must be converted or will go to hell, and Judaism – hypothetically now a newer faith that’s easy to convert into – is full of religious texts saying that Muslims are beneath them, that Jews can’t be friends with Muslims and that before paradise comes, Jews will kill all the Muslims. Muslims under Jewish rule are treated as third-class citizens. In at least one Jewish country, Muslims have to wear symbols on their clothes so others know that they’re Muslim, and they can’t walk on the same side of the street as Jews. They have to pay taxes to Jews to live where they are, just for being Muslim.

As all this has been going on, in the 700s a synagogue was built right beside Mecca as it’s a holy site to the Jews. Petraea has been occupied by the Jewish Ottoman Empire and the richest Jews have bought up huge amounts of land in pretty damn desolate and sparsely-populated Petraea (the old Saudi Arabia, but those few Jews don’t live there themselves) and rent the land to poorer Jewish farmers in the 1800s. Mecca is seen as one of the holiest places in Judaism, too. So Jews from surrounding countries emigrate to Petraea. 

It’s now the mid-1800s and some Muslims decide that enough is enough. They want to go home. Non-Muslims tell them constantly, “Go home to Petraea!” and so they try to figure out how best to create a country for themselves. Ideally, they want to go back to their ancestral lands, the Saudi Arabia that they’ve kept alive for centuries with the rest of their history and culture. They’re nicknamed, for sake of argument, “Arabists.”

There are more anti-Muslim scandals and abuse. Some non-Muslim coins “antiarabism” as a term that solely means “anti-Muslim” and justifies why everyone would hate Muslims. Muslims then take it and use it to mean “anti-Muslim,” too.

When the British take control of Petraea, the Arabists implore them and others to give them back their ancient homeland so they can just go home. Eventually, they get a declaration that they will get it back.

Then, the worst happens. Hitler rises to power. He blames everything on the Muslims. Jews in Petraea ally themselves with the Nazis. The Holocaust ends up murdering six million Muslims for no other crime but daring to be alive and be Muslim. When the surviving Muslims are freed from concentration camps and try to go to their homes in Europe, non-Muslims have taken them over. There’s nowhere else for them to go. So all they can do is go to their actual home, Petraea. But the British then do their best to stop them.

The United Nations then agrees that the Muslims should be allowed to go home. They want to partition Petraea between the Muslims and the Jews living there. The Jews refuse. It happens anyway. There’s Petraea on one side, and Saudi Arabia is reborn in 1948.

A lot of Jews are convinced to leave the area because other Jews tell them that they’ll easily defeat the Muslims in war and then the Jews can go back to their homes. They start a war. The Muslims win. There are more wars. The Muslims win. 

Jews and Muslims fight. There are awful things that both sides do. There are some terrorists on both sides. Innocents are killed on both sides. It’s a complicated, terrible situation.

Muslims are expelled from Jewish countries. Their assets are frozen. They have nothing and they go to live in Saudi Arabia, where at least they believe that they’ll be safe.

The international community, particularly all the countries that are Jewish, say that Saudi Arabia has no right to exist. That it’s always been Petraea and there are no Muslim ties to Petraea. The whole area is Petraea, not just the separated part of the country still called Petraea where only Jews can live. The Jews in Petraea start calling themselves Petraeans. They call themselves the indigenous people. Muslims are called the invaders, the colonists and the imperialists.

In Saudi Arabia, 20% of the population are Jews and there’s democracy. There are Jews high in politics, Jewish judges, Jewish news reporters, Jewish doctors. But the world decides that Saudi Arabia is an apartheid state and all Saudi Arabian Muslims are evil people that hate Jews. 

Meanwhile, in Petraea, Petraeans want to force every last Muslim out of Saudi Arabia so the whole area can be under their control. They start suicide-bombing. They dig tunnels under fences between the two separate areas to sneak in and kill Muslims. They vote for terrorist leaders that have “We will kill all the Arabist invaders” in their charter to lead them, whilst quoting Jewish religious verses that say all the Muslims will die. On Petraean television, children’s programmes are shown that encourage children to want to grow up and stab Muslims. That teach them that Muslims are “pigs” and that it’s wrong for Muslims to be there, sullying their important synagogue. When Petraeans fire missiles into Saudi Arabia to kill Muslims from ordinary neighbourhoods, store ammunition in schools and hospitals and Saudi Arabians say that’s wrong and they have to fire back to keep their people safe, the world calls them the monsters.

The world decides that Mecca has nothing to do with Islam or Muslims, but that it’s a Jewish site. 

Where there are Muslims living elsewhere, in the US, in the UK, in Europe, they’re attacked as “filthy Arabists” that want all Jews to die. Innocent Muslims doing nothing but living are attacked and abused because Saudi Arabia exists. “Arabist” is just a code-word for “Muslim,” but when antiarabism is called out, the defence is, “Well, I just said Arabists, not Muslims!” despite “Arabist” being used in obvious anti-Muslim rhetoric.

Most Muslims are Arabists because they say, “Look, Saudi Arabia exists, it’s the world’s only Muslim country and we want it to be kept safe,” they’re called racists, they’re hated and others want them to die. They get messages telling them to kill themselves, or rape is threatened, or violence is threatened. Mosques are attacked, set fire to, vandalised, the perpetrators Jews openly saying that it’s a statement against “illegal Saudi Arabia.” Antiarabism gets worse. Then Jews and others from the same region have the gall to say, “Well, we can be Arabs too, so it’s not just about you, this is Muslims lying about abuse again to get away with everything!”

Some Muslims become bigoted. Extremist Muslims that hate non-extreme Muslims work with other Muslim-haters to destroy Saudi Arabia – and they’re called “good Muslims.”

The majority of Muslims in the world just wants Saudi Arabia to be recognised as their history, their homeland, their ancient connection and for everyone living there to be treated fairly – Muslim, Jew, Christian, whoever. They know that Saudi Arabia isn’t perfect, but it’s still their homeland.

But they’re hated for it. And then there are other Muslims that will support those that hate Muslims, who deny that Saudi Arabia exists, that Muslims murdered by Jews deserved it because they see Saudi Arabia existing as “occupation.”

Muslims say, “Hang on, there’s a ton of human rights abuses in other countries, why is everyone focused on hating Saudi Arabia?” but they’re ignored. Jewish countries engage in horrible human rights abuses, but they keep talking about how Saudi Arabia existing is the worst thing to happen to the region. The UN keeps criticising Saudi Arabia, keep debating Saudi Arabia, and Muslims are furious because it’s not fair.

When Jews try to kill Muslims in Saudi Arabia and Saudi Arabian police and army forces kill the terrorist Jews first, the Saudi Arabians – but only the Muslim Saudi Arabians – are branded as monsters. Jewish terrorists are supported and called innocent. Petraeans give salaries to Petraeans that are imprisoned for terrorism or preparing terrorist acts. Anti-Muslim newspapers and websites are used as sources to describe how terrible Saudi Arabia and Arabists are. They even lie about Muslims deliberately flooding Petraean lands by opening dams despite the fact that no dams in that area exist.

Muslims are also annoyed that they have to be called “Arabist” to describe themselves, but Jews don’t have to be called “Zionist” for them wanting their countries to be kept safe and recognised as Jewish countries.

Non-Muslims constantly demand to know why Muslims care about Saudi Arabia. Why Saudi Arabia means anything to them. Non-Muslims deny that Muslims even have an ethnicity, and claim that they’re only a religion and that religion means nothing. Non-Muslims also keep sneering that Muslims are the same Nazis that tried to exterminate them. Whenever a Muslim condemns individual antiarabism from Jews or show how antiarabic Jewish communities are, they’re called antisemitic racists, bigots and monsters.

The Muslims end up feeling totally alone. They feel safest when they can hide that they’re Muslim from others. All they have, as far as their heritage, culture and history is concerned, is the rest of their people and their homeland.

So you tell me. Why would these hypothetical Muslims be Arabist?

anonymous asked:

Lis, I'm really struggling and idk who to go to about any of this :/ i don't even really know where to begin....but i am really struggling with my weight. i have gained about 50lbs due to my depression and i just feel really lonely and down and like no one would ever be interested in me because of this. also, i have to be closeted and that's contributing a lot to my depression. i could never be out to my family and if i find a girl i'd have to keep her a secret. i just feel like it's hopeless :(

Hello, baby. Unfortunately, I have dealt with all of the above. FORTUNATELY, I made it through those battles so maybe I can give you a bit of insight from my personal experience. 

Bit of background, I grew up in a household where weight was really stressed upon. We had “portion controls” and my parents always asked about my weight and made sure we stayed active all the goddamn time. I was underweight but I didn’t even realize how fucked up it all was until I went to college. I didn’t have portion controls, the guy I was seeing broke up with me and within one month, I gained 35 pounds. It just kept escalating from there. Then there was the issue of my sexuality. I had to come out to my parents two different times because the first time I did, my mom told me I wasn’t gay. We didn’t talk about it for two years until I started dating my last ex. She didn’t accept the girl I was dating, but said it was because of the distance and not because she was a girl. Naturally, I didn’t believe that for a second. And then the girl I was dating smashed my heart in a million little pieces the day before my birthday. I fucking spiraled. I was depressed, felt unloved, and was the heaviest I had ever been. I won’t go into detail, but I was on the brink of calling it quits. 

Now, to the good part. I started to do some soul searching about what was important to me in my life and I made a list of what made me happy. My list was: the lgbtq community, writing, and music. Once I started focusing on those three things, I stopped fixating about my weight and ironically, that’s when I started eating healthier and lost a bit of it. I’m not what I used to be, but I feel confident in my skin and learned to love the soft bits I have. Before you can focus on someone else loving you and your body, you need to cherish it yourself. If someone doesn’t think that you are incredible just the way you are, they can go fuck themselves. Find someone who appreciates every bit of you, physical and not. It seems impossible now, but I swear you’ll get there. 

I combined my love for lgbtq, music, and writing when I wrote my first longshot. Writing made me happier than I have been in a loooong time. I know I joke about having always having multiple fics in the works and that I have no chill, but really, writing fucking saved my life. That’s why I haven’t stopped for a single day between my works. I absolutely refuse to fall back into depression and thinking that I have nothing going for me. So, I write. 

I’ve talked to my mom a lot about sexuality and what it came down to, was having open communication for her to understand where I was coming from. I’m not saying that you have to come out or you should, but if things feel shit at the beginning, that doesn’t mean they always will be. People can grow and they’ll surprise you. 

So, chickpea, my advice for you is to make a list of what genuinely matters to you and focus on those things. After you do it, come back and talk to me about what you love. I’m here to cheer you on because I KNOW you can do this. You’re beautiful. You’re not alone. All of my affection is yours x

anonymous asked:

So I just wanted to tell you that I dropped out of school.. I've been struggling to be motivated in school and I realized now that it's a waste because I really hated the program I was in.. it made me depression and anxiety worse and I wasn't having fun.. I want to try to start my own business but it'll take time.. I wanted to tell you because I just feel so relieved and I don't know how to express how I'm feeling! 🌷

I’m glad that you’re doing what feels right!! I hope everything goes well for you and don’t give up when it’s tough 💕 lots of love!

space-delinquents  asked:

HEY yours and abazethe100 talking about how you've stepped away from fandom and want to be easy going about the show really inspired me cause I feel the exact same way. I enjoyed this show a lot more when I wasn't buried in online fandom. Especially with Bellarke. I love them to pieces, but I'm going to take what they give us and not expect too much and just enjoy the heck out of the finale and season 5.


And, please, at this point i…. i barely know how not to live in a fandom, i love fandoms. But the thing is, there’s a healthy dose of it? And the way we’re living, we spend so many hours of every day obsessing over these little things and how we think things should go or can go, or how this or that will ruin everything. But truth is, we can’t control the writers. It’s not our story. It’s no use for us to sit all day saying OH BUT IF THAT HAPPENS THEN IT’S OVER or IF THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN THEN IT’S OVER,

That’s a very…. awful way to watch anything cause things won’t go exactly the way you want. Or you’d be writing the story.

And that’s how i feel things are going lately, not even just about bellarke. It’s like if every single step doesn’t go according to ~fandom consensus plan~then it’s all over and writers messed it up. No show can survive that test. Ever.

Also, like this we tend to be so focused on our ship and our show that we kinda…. lose the bigger picture. We’re on hyper focus and everything little thing that happens seems HUGE, feels like the world is ending, and everyone gets depressed. (i mean remember that week people were fighting over the freaking kink meme?? go outside everyone! Smell the flowers and all that shiz, it will do you some good)

I love Bellarke, always have, always will. They’re probably the most epic ship i ever had and i hope the writers do them justice. So far, i didn’t see a solid plot reason to believe they won’t so, *shrugs* of things don’t happen on the time I want it’s not the end of the world, just an inconvenience (for now)

Again, i have no idea how i’ll feel after the finale, cause emotions rise then. But so far? I’m relaxing and… i’m just sad the 100 season 4 is ending tbh. I waited so long for the show to come back and now it’s gonna be gone again.

justgottabehonest  asked:

I'm currently trying to write my first novel and I could use your advice! It's a paranormal romance centering around a young African American boy living in a small,predominately white, community. I'm trying to avoid my character coming off as being written by a white woman. I have the plot already written out, but as I'm writing I feel like it doesn't read very authentically. Do you have any tips that can help me? Thank you!


What a fantastic concept so far. You had me at “paranormal” and then it just got better after that. Anyway…

One thing about writing that you probably hear a lot is the “advice” to “write what you know.” That is one piece of advice that I will never give, because if we wrote what we know, we wouldn’t have almost all the stories that we have today. So first of all, good for you that you are expanding beyond your what-you-knows.

However, it’s also good to keep in mind that with different people of different traits there are different experiences. Obviously, based off of the way you worded your ask, you are aware of the challenges of writing from a perspective that you don’t have experience in. And that’s good! The fact that you are aware shows that you are on the right track. As a white person writing a person of color, the idea to keep in mind is that this is not your experience, this is theirs- you are merely a conductor that takes this experience and portrays it in such a way that it reaches an audience.

A good place to start in looking for how to write a person of color- the blog writingwithcolor has lots and lots of great posts and has some great resources for you. 

But, on a side note…

This is, as you described it, a paranormal romance. Be careful that you’re not forcing in racially charged scenes just for the sake of making a statement. This paranormal romance is your story. And that is what is yours. Be careful not to invade on what isn’t.

Really, the only tip I can give you here: When writing with color, as a white person,use your resources. Listen, learn. Have people review your work when you need to and do your job as an advocate by really listening. 

In the case of this particular story: ask yourself if you’re writing racial scenes because they need to be there or because you want them to be.

Thank you for taking the time to ask! That’s a good step in the right direction. Keep that awareness. Take advantage of writingwithcolor.


I’m kinda laughin how foxskull & queenoir grabbed me b/c in my mind they’re almost opposites like..

Yusuke’s ‘you make it feel ok to be selfish’ & Ryuji’s 'I want to give back just as much as I’ve been given’

Makoto’s 'I want you to feel like it’s ok to be selfish’ & Haru’s 'I’ve already asked for so much, how could I ask for more’

there’s something about the style of DAO that i love

it’s just so… it’s very drab.  all rogue armor looks exactly the same.  like, helmet upgrade?  yep it’s the same thing but in a slightly different tint.  mages get those ridiculous hats and the dingy robes.  grey wardens don’t have that flashy blue and silver armor yet they just wear whatever the hell drops off of darkspawn.  ferelden is brown and muddy.  as it should be.  denerim is the crown jewel of the country but it’s just dogs barking and dirt and flies.

when your warden suddenly decides that they’re no longer an archer or mage and grabs a random ass sword to shove through the archdemon’s skull, they’ve marched their way up and down this maker-forsaken land and they’ve got mud and dog shit all over their boots and no part of this journey was even remotely glamorous, because it was about spending days in the deep roads, covered in blood and bile and ichor, so of course you’re gonna make your final blow look at least vaguely fancy, because you deserve that much

and i just.  i love it.

  • Aries: You play all the time, and you play to win. You are a cheerful and a happy person but god help the ones who do you wrong or the ones you love. You know how to party and you know how to have fun. You always give great compliments. You have a great body and great physical looks. Your smile is sexy and your laughter is even sexier. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Taurus: You have an impeccable taste for literally everything, you are the biggest hedonist out there and you simply know how to live. And you love life itself which comes in many forms. You have a cheerful spirit, intriguing mentality and even a greater heart. You are capable of putting up with so much shit and staying sane, haters can just stay jealous. You have the power to crack the earth in two when you witness negativity and you will. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Gemini: Your intelligence, style and communication skills know no borders. You are always the funny one, and even while some people might think that you're a drama queen or a double-faced attention whore, you just know that it isn't true. And you don't fight them but you let them learn it themselves that you're not a double-faced backstabber who hurts people for fun. You just love supporting people and making their lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Cancer: You are literally one of the sweetest experiences one could ever have. You can teach people a lot, and you can stay strong through a lot of shit in your life. You are pure, innocent, loving and caring. You give the best hugs out there and you know how to satisfy people. You are full of positivity and you always put people's needs before yours. You can stand up and keep an insanely happy face even you're being torn apart inside. You are strong and you are one of the most sensitive people out there, which makes you really strong. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.|
  • Leo: You have this cheerful spirit and you radiate with alluring energy. People might accuse you of wanting to be the center of attention but you deserve to be the center of attention because you are special and you know what you're capable of. You just want to assure people that you're a person who's capable of many things and you can lead yourself and people to greatness. You are a natural born supporter and you simply know how to make people's lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Virgo: You are really a person who's great in many spheres of life. You're deep. People might accuse you of being overcritical and a perfectionist, but don't let them bring you down. Yes, you are critical and you are a perfectionist but that's because you just want everything to be alright. You suffer from tons of anxiety when you want to achieve something but believe me, it will pay off. Just stay strong and don't listen to people who say that you're very silent and unsuccessful because you have the potential to surpass them all. You are a great thinker, a very intelligent person and you are one of the biggest go-getters out there. Stay strong and you will succeed in whatever it is you want. You know how to fix people's problems and you are born to help. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Libra: You are a person who radiates with positive energy. You are a beacon of happiness and you are one of the most creative people out there. You know how to care for people and you know how to love. God damn it, you have impeccable style and you know how to dress. You are appealing and both your physical and mental beauty are dominant when you enter a room of new people. You are a big, big person with even a bigger heart than your body and you know how to give people an advice. Those pieces of advice you give, often fix people's problems. You are beautiful. You are admirable. You are capable of many things and you know how to get shit done. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Scorpio: You are a person who's capable of many things. People usually think that you're too intense, childish, evil and vengeful but you're not. You just know how to have fun and you love making people's lives better. You are a master of telling jokes. Your eyes can penetrate deep inside a person's soul and see the sadness inside that person. And you will help that person. You help people on a daily basis, even if they don't see it. Most of the time you are very sad and you suffer inside because you think that people don't see what you've done for them, and that is okay. But believe me, they do see what you've done for them. And if anyone wrongs you or a person you love, you can avenge yourself or that person you love. Many people think that you're cruel and unforgiving but that's not true. Don't listen to the stereotypes for Scorpios and focus on being a good person. You forgive endlessly, you just don't like showing your emotions because people might manipulate you or use them against you, so you might do some things (which you will later regret) just because you don't want to seem weak. But that's how you protect yourself. Don't worry about others' opinions, you're a great person, filled with positivity. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Sagittarius: You are a person who cares about everyone. You are not bitchy and nervous, it's just that you are sick of people doing mistakes which they will later regret. You are a born teacher and you are born to lead people into a new, better world. People need to start listening to your pieces of advice because the pieces of advice you give are priceless. You are not extreme and you are not impulsive because you want to be, you do it because you want to prove others that you're a good person and a person who honestly and sincerely cares about everything. You often suffer from anxiety and insomnia, but it's because you are a very intelligent person and your mind works a lot faster than other people's. You come off as a person whom everyone thinks that hates emotions and doesn't know how to feel, but, believe me, you know how to feel. You just can't stand it when people don't live just and you are born to fix the mistakes of yours and of other people's. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Capricorn: You are a deeply caring person but you don't show it as most people do. Others will think that you're unfeeling and cold-blooded because of the way you show your emotions and because of your silent nature, but you are not emotionless. You are a person who cares a lot about your and other people's future. You are not materialistic and money-oriented, you are a person who is concerned with your and other people's well-being, so you work your ass off because you know where you might end up one day. Don't let people pick with you or underestimate you because you are a very sensitive and emotional person who knows how to support people and lead them to happiness. You will be made fun of, you will be insulted, you will be hated and you will be fought but you should know that you shouldn't give up of spreading positivity and working hard to achieve your goals. Don't let negative people stop you and bring you down. Learn that you are a person who knows how to function. You are not dull, as most people think. But let them think because you needn't carry about negative people's irrelevant opinions because you know who you are, and you are not dull. You are a very interesting, funny and creative person. You are a great friend, parent, partner and a lover. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Aquarius: You are an open-minded person and your intelligence is really great. You are a very understanding person and you know how to have fun. You lead people into great adventures which might seem risky, but you do it for the sake of fun. Best memories always come from great experiences, and you know how to make people experience things. You are not limited and detached as most people think, you are a person who just thinks rationally for your and the lives for the people around you. You are not argumentative as everyone thinks, you are debatable. There's a difference. You love learning and debating, you just seem argumentative because you're passionate for debates and learning new things. You are not a weirdo or a freak, you're an eccentric person. There's a difference. You are a great friend. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Pisces: You are one of the most insightful people out there and you simply know everything, because you feel everything. you have the gift of unlimited and uncontrollable emotions, which might sometimes take advantage of you but I assure you that you have the ability to control your emotions. You are one of the most intelligent people out there. You are very beautiful, both physically and mentally. You are a natural born philosopher and you're the deepest person there is. You are not weak just because you are hurt or triggered easily, you are strong and powerful beyond limits because you experience everything both with your heart, soul and mind. You absorb people's feelings and you absorb information like a sponge. You are capable of many things. No matter your easygoing, sweet, cheerful or introverted nature, you are one of the best fighters out there and you always win no matter what, because you stubbornly go to extremes and you have the ability to go to the end of the universe and back, if it's required of you to get what you want. You fight till the very end and you know how to sit on the throne. Despite most people's (stupid) opinion, you are not a wallflower. You are a natural born leader who just seems dreamy and lost most of the time but that's because you're very intelligent and you think like no-one else does. When the topic of a conversation is brought, I bet you've already been overthinking about it. You can put up with so much shit and you can go through everything, you can run through hell and fly through heaven in order to achieve your goals. You are not weak, you're just a person with the most intense emotions out there. Learn to control things and you will be unstoppable. When someone hurts you or someone you love, you will turn into a giant shark and every unjust person will feel the ocean's wrath. You are not weak because you're a forgiving person, you are just one level above all those haters and you actually understand why people made those mistakes, and that's why you forgive - when you forgive. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.

Just give me a chance


I don’t really like Lance sad but sometimes life puts you down but what’s amazing is what happens afterwards, after you overcome it. You’re ready to take over the world, you’re not the same person you were before, you became stronger than ever. Sometimes you just have to be pushed to your limits for you to grow and learn. Lance will overcome this and when he does, he will slay you all

Literally just all the sexual things Alexander Hamilton sent to John Laurens

“I love you.”

This one is pretty self explanatory. Men were much more intimate back in the 1700′s, forming bonds that seem very ~gay~ in today’s light. Homosexuality wasn’t a very understood thing back then because rigid moral codes and censured education prevented people from learning more about sexuality.

 But Alexander Hamilton knew.

 He grew up on an island where ‘Sodomites’ (gay people) were dumped and  allowed to mingle with the island population. Alex knew that there was a certain zone of interactions between men that went from being merely friendly to sexual. He clearly steps into the bounds of sexual while fully realizing it.

“In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I [- - - - - -].”

Ahhhhhhhhh my son Alex, could you be more explicit? Alex here is obviously referring to his something else (you know) with the knowledge that John Lauren’s knows the size. This sentence right here is basically just one long ;).

 “Your friend” seems to be written teasingly, as if they both know how far from friends they are.

And we can only guess how dirty Alex got in those last six  CUT OUT words.

“Dear Boy” [sent by John Laurens]

John laurens calls his wife his ‘dear girl’, and here he calls Alex his ‘dear boy’.  Moreover, Laurens did not call any other man he ever wrote to as his ‘dear boy’. Laurens seems to see Alex as on the same level, if not higher, as his own wife.

“Did I mean to show my wit? If I did, I am sure I have missed my aim. Did I only intend to [frisk]? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend.”

This phrase right here I unfortunately do not see a lot when people talk about Alex and John’s letters. This, to me, is one of the most explicit. “Wit” also mean one’s you know what (here I give a nod to the Ravenclaw moto), so Hamilton’s saying he was pretty much just messing around with John the last letter he sent. This is the only sort of “intercourse” he is able to have with John, as they are both so far apart. He is incapable of ‘sexual’ intercourse because of their distance, so he feels he must, in the 18th century way, sext.

“I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.”

As you might have already guessed, Alex is inviting John to a threesome on his wedding night. The idea that Alex feels so at ease inviting John to a threesome with his wife suggests they have already had something going for a long time now. 

“But like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued. I had almost resolved to lavish no more of them upon you and to reject you as an inconstant and an ungrateful –”

Here Alex compares himself to John’s lover, and a jealous one at that. John seems to be shying away from Alex’s bawdiness, as if realizing how strange their relationships is in retrospect. Alex is scrambling to hang on to him, even though he knows well what are and what happens to Sodomites. He would do anything for John while knowing the consequences. And John is too afraid to join him. And who the hell knows what the last word was.

“And believe me, I am lover in earnest,”

*cough cough* looks like John knows exactly what happens when Alex’s feeling frisky.

“She [Eliza] loves you a l'americaine not a la francoise.”

The French were renowned for their relaxed stance on extramarital love affairs, while Americans were more Puritan-minding and thought love affairs only should happen in church-sanctioned marriages. Thus Eliza has an a l’americaine love of John Laurens, rather than an a la francoise.

“You will be pleased to recollect in your negotiations that I have no invincible antipathy to the maidenly beauties & that I am willing to take the trouble of them upon myself.”

*cough* this sentence is a bit confusing, and could be taken a few ways. What I infer from this is that Alexander Hamilton is willing, and John knows this, to assume an air of femininity because he finds no fault with it. It was commonly noted by people who wrote of Hamilton that he was very feminine in comparison with other men of his day. Alex’s femininity seems to please John, the topic even having been discussed between the two in ‘negotiations’.

“My ravings are for your own bosom” Alex desperately misses Laurens’ intimate contact in a way that, in my opinion, could never be mistaken as simply friendship. Alex literally wants to be held by John. How fucking heartbreaking is that.

“Yrs for ever”

Ok, this one isn’t sexual, but I had to add it because it is so heartbreaking. This was Alex’s last farewell note to John. That is, if he even received it. He died shortly after Alex sent the letter; whether he read the farewell or not is all lost to history. Alex loved John so much, despite the fact that both already had a wife. He would have always loved him, even if they had grown apart…

That’s it folks: time for me to cry.

‘Why did you fall for him?’
I’ve never been able to answer this question and I wonder if I ever will be. The only thing I know is that I spent years not knowing him and one day he just was there.
I still remember him, just sitting there on a wooden picnic table, I still remember him looking up at me, I still remember the look in his eyes, I still remember the feeling I had. Both were pure, clean because nothing had happened yet.
There we were on that chilly spring morning, not yet knowing how we would change each other’s lives.

'Why do you still love him?’
How will I ever be able to answer? I just do. He’s such a big part of my life, I can’t imagine it without him. No, there hasn’t been an easy moment ever since I met him and yes, at times it hurts, a lot.
But I guess I just live for him, for the signature grins I get from him, for the way he calls my name, for the sparkle in his eyes when I make him laugh. For the way he can still make me stutter after 5 years and for the princess-like feeling he can give me.

I know everyone tells me to let him go. And I get why. Perhaps I could let him go if I only met him a few months ago, but he has marked too many memories, predominated too many years. He’s the only thing in my life that never changes.

—  Confessions