they have vivid imaginations

Secret things your sign gets anxious about randomly (check your moon too):

psst: These are all things someone could get anxious about, but I’ve personally seen certain things in one sign the most which is why I have assigned it to them here. 

Aries: Although they can be quick to rebel, they secretly fear judgment from their peers but will always be too proud to admit this. 

Taurus: Awkward silences! They love being seen as charming and holding a conversation with someone new feels like a lot of work sometimes, as they’re worried they’ll run out of things to say

Gemini: Ending up alone. They adore being surrounded by friends and people they can laugh with, boredom and loneliness are a terrible thought. 

Cancer: If the person they care about cares about them as much too. They’re insecure about their abilities in friendships/relationships and always think they should be doing more. 

Leo: Their mental capabilities! They project loads of confidence and most of the time do really have it, but one small failure in for example school can lead them towards a downward spiral for an hour or two. 

Virgo: They really worry about timing. They get stressed about being on time, doing everything before the deadline is a must and this can lead to small breakdowns. 

Libra: Being invited places. They really can’t stand the thought of being left out! They also fear someone pointing out their flaws a lot. 

Scorpio: Having their secrets out in the open. They’re protective of what they know and feel the need to hold on to intimate details to stay safe. 

Sagittarius: Being the odd one out with nothing to say in a group of people. They’re social AF and need to be somewhat of a leading figure and on top of things. 

Capricorn: Being betrayed by their friends. They feel the need to be backed up in confronting situations, and although they can fight their own battles they also want people standing with them. 

Aquarius: Losing someone they love. Of course, everyone would hate this but Aquas have a vivid imagination and think too much, to the point where they can randomly find themselves in tears over someone who hasn’t even passed away yet. 

Pisces: Not being cool enough. Funny enough, I find that Pisces (at least in their teen years) try very hard to fit in with popular people. They need to talk like them, act like them, dress like them. That’s totally fine! But can be stressful to keep up with. 

Some Information on the Highly Sensitive Person

Roughly 20% of the population struggle with high sensitivity. Typical traits include the following:

1. As students, they work differently from other people. They often pick up on subtleties and may think deeply about a subject before sharing in a discussion or contributing in a classroom setting. (This does not necessarily mean they don’t understand the material, or are too shy to speak in public. It has more to do with the way the person processes information.)

2. They tend to be highly conscientious in their work. They notice and pay attention to details, and they think things through very carefully. Also, often being highly sensitive is equated with higher levels of intelligence, being highly intuitive and having a vivid imagination. Highly sensitive individuals work and learn best in quiet and calm environments.

3. Highly sensitive students and employees generally underperform when they are being evaluated. They are highly conscious of being watched, and this inhibits their ability to function at their peak.

4. Although some individuals who are born with this trait may seem to be more introverted by nature, being introverted and highly sensitive do not always go together. Instead, environmental factors have a greater influence on how the individual feels and reacts.

5. People with high sensitivity are more sensitive to both negative and positive experiences. Thus, they are more affected by rough treatment, pain, heartaches and insensitivity from others … but also seem to benefit more from being treated with kindness, care and thoughtfulness.

6. Other common characteristics of the highly sensitive person being easily over-stimulated (hence the need for quiet and calm), being more emotionally reactive than others, and having higher levels of empathy.

Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers

** I decided to just post this directly on the blog because I believe every person who has an abusive mother should read this.

1. Everything she does is deniable.

There is always a facile excuse or an explanation. Cruelties are couched in loving terms. Aggressive and hostile acts are paraded as thoughtfulness. Selfish manipulations are presented as gifts. Criticism and slander is slyly disguised as concern. She only wants what is best for you. She only wants to help you.

She rarely says right out that she thinks you’re inadequate. Instead, any time that you tell her you’ve done something good, she counters with something your sibling did that was better or she simply ignores you or she hears you out without saying anything, then in a short time does something cruel to you so you understand not to get above yourself. She will carefully separate cause (your joy in your accomplishment) from effect (refusing to let you borrow the car to go to the awards ceremony) by enough time that someone who didn’t live through her abuse would never believe the connection.

Many of her putdowns are simply by comparison. She’ll talk about how wonderful someone else is or what a wonderful job they did on something you’ve also done or how highly she thinks of them. The contrast is left up to you. She has let you know that you’re no good without saying a word. She’ll spoil your pleasure in something by simply congratulating you for it in an angry, envious voice that conveys how unhappy she is, again, completely deniably. It is impossible to confront someone over their tone of voice, their demeanor or the way they look at you, but once your narcissistic mother has you trained, she can promise terrible punishment without a word. As a result, you’re always afraid, always in the wrong, and can never exactly put your finger on why.

Because her abusiveness is part of a lifelong campaign of control and because she is careful to rationalize her abuse, it is extremely difficult to explain to other people what is so bad about her. She’s also careful about when and how she engages in her abuses. She’s very secretive, a characteristic of almost all abusers (“Don’t wash our dirty laundry in public!”) and will punish you for telling anyone else what she’s done. The times and locations of her worst abuses are carefully chosen so that no one who might intervene will hear or see her bad behavior, and she will seem like a completely different person in public. She’ll slam you to other people, but will always embed her devaluing nuggets of snide gossip in protestations of concern, love and understanding (“I feel so sorry for poor Cynthia. She always seems to have such a hard time, but I just don’t know what I can do for her!”) As a consequence the children of narcissists universally report that no one believes them (“I have to tell you that she always talks about YOU in the most caring way!). Unfortunately therapists, given the deniable actions of the narcissist and eager to defend a fellow parent, will often jump to the narcissist’s defense as well, reinforcing your sense of isolation and helplessness ("I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that!”)


2. She violates your boundaries.

You feel like an extension of her. Your property is given away without your consent, sometimes in front of you. Your food is eaten off your plate or given to others off your plate. Your property may be repossessed and no reason given other than that it was never yours. Your time is committed without consulting you, and opinions purported to be yours are expressed for you. (She LOVES going to the fair! He would never want anything like that. She wouldn’t like kumquats.) You are discussed in your presence as though you are not there. She keeps tabs on your bodily functions and humiliates you by divulging the information she gleans, especially when it can be used to demonstrate her devotion and highlight her martyrdom to your needs (“Mike had that problem with frequent urination too, only his was much worse. I was so worried about him!”) You have never known what it is like to have privacy in the bathroom or in your bedroom, and she goes through your things regularly. She asks nosy questions, snoops into your email/letters/diary/conversations. She will want to dig into your feelings, particularly painful ones and is always looking for negative information on you which can be used against you. She does things against your expressed wishes frequently. All of this is done without seeming embarrassment or thought.

Any attempt at autonomy on your part is strongly resisted. Normal rites of passage (learning to shave, wearing makeup, dating) are grudgingly allowed only if you insist, and you’re punished for your insistence (“Since you’re old enough to date, I think you’re old enough to pay for your own clothes!”) If you demand age-appropriate clothing, grooming, control over your own life, or rights, you are difficult and she ridicules your “independence.”


3. She favoritizes.

Narcissistic mothers commonly choose one (sometimes more) child to be the golden child and one (sometimes more) to be the scapegoat. The narcissist identifies with the golden child and provides privileges to him or her as long as the golden child does just as she wants. The golden child has to be cared for assiduously by everyone in the family. The scapegoat has no needs and instead gets to do the caring. The golden child can do nothing wrong. The scapegoat is always at fault. This creates divisions between the children, one of whom has a large investment in the mother being wise and wonderful, and the other(s) who hate her. That division will be fostered by the narcissist with lies and with blatantly unfair and favoritizing behavior. The golden child will defend the mother and indirectly perpetuate the abuse by finding reasons to blame the scapegoat for the mother’s actions. The golden child may also directly take on the narcissistic mother’s tasks by physically abusing the scapegoat so the narcissistic mother doesn’t have to do that herself.


4. She undermines.

Your accomplishments are acknowledged only to the extent that she can take credit for them. Any success or accomplishment for which she cannot take credit is ignored or diminished. Any time you are to be center stage and there is no opportunity for her to be the center of attention, she will try to prevent the occasion altogether, or she doesn’t come, or she leaves early, or she acts like it’s no big deal, or she steals the spotlight or she slips in little wounding comments about how much better someone else did or how what you did wasn’t as much as you could have done or as you think it is. She undermines you by picking fights with you or being especially unpleasant just before you have to make a major effort. She acts put out if she has to do anything to support your opportunities or will outright refuse to do even small things in support of you. She will be nasty to you about things that are peripherally connected with your successes so that you find your joy in what you’ve done is tarnished, without her ever saying anything directly about it. No matter what your success, she has to take you down a peg about it.


5. She demeans, criticizes and denigrates.

She lets you know in all sorts of little ways that she thinks less of you than she does of your siblings or of other people in general. If you complain about mistreatment by someone else, she will take that person’s side even if she doesn’t know them at all. She doesn’t care about those people or the justice of your complaints. She just wants to let you know that you’re never right.

She will deliver generalized barbs that are almost impossible to rebut (always in a loving, caring tone): “You were always difficult” “You can be very difficult to love” “You never seemed to be able to finish anything” “You were very hard to live with” “You’re always causing trouble” “No one could put up with the things you do.” She will deliver slams in a sidelong way - for example she’ll complain about how “no one” loves her, does anything for her, or cares about her, or she’ll complain that “everyone” is so selfish, when you’re the only person in the room. As always, this combines criticism with deniability.

She will slip little comments into conversation that she really enjoyed something she did with someone else - something she did with you too, but didn’t like as much. She’ll let you know that her relationship with some other person you both know is wonderful in a way your relationship with her isn’t - the carefully unspoken message being that you don’t matter much to her.

She minimizes, discounts or ignores your opinions and experiences. Your insights are met with condescension, denials and accusations (“I think you read too much!”) and she will brush off your information even on subjects on which you are an acknowledged expert. Whatever you say is met with smirks and amused sounding or exaggerated exclamations (“Uh hunh!” “You don’t say!” “Really!”). She’ll then make it clear that she didn’t listen to a word you said.


6. She makes you look crazy.

If you try to confront her about something she’s done, she’ll tell you that you have “a very vivid imagination” (this is a phrase commonly used by abusers of all sorts to invalidate your experience of their abuse) that you don’t know what you’re talking about, or that she has no idea what you’re talking about. She will claim not to remember even very memorable events, flatly denying they ever happened, nor will she ever acknowledge any possibility that she might have forgotten. This is an extremely aggressive and exceptionally infuriating tactic called “gaslighting,” common to abusers of all kinds. Your perceptions of reality are continually undermined so that you end up without any confidence in your intuition, your memory or your powers of reasoning. This makes you a much better victim for the abuser.

Narcissists gaslight routinely. The narcissist will either insinuate or will tell you outright that you’re unstable, otherwise you wouldn’t believe such ridiculous things or be so uncooperative. You’re oversensitive. You’re imagining things. You’re hysterical. You’re completely unreasonable. You’re over-reacting, like you always do. She’ll talk to you when you’ve calmed down and aren’t so irrational. She may even characterize you as being neurotic or psychotic.

Once she’s constructed these fantasies of your emotional pathologies, she’ll tell others about them, as always, presenting her smears as expressions of concern and declaring her own helpless victimhood. She didn’t do anything. She has no idea why you’re so irrationally angry with her. You’ve hurt her terribly. She thinks you may need psychotherapy. She loves you very much and would do anything to make you happy, but she just doesn’t know what to do. You keep pushing her away when all she wants to do is help you.

She has simultaneously absolved herself of any responsibility for your obvious antipathy towards her, implied that it’s something fundamentally wrong with you that makes you angry with her, and undermined your credibility with her listeners. She plays the role of the doting mother so perfectly that no one will believe you.


7. She’s envious.

Any time you get something nice she’s angry and envious and her envy will be apparent when she admires whatever it is. She’ll try to get it from you, spoil it for you, or get the same or better for herself. She’s always working on ways to get what other people have. The envy of narcissistic mothers often includes competing sexually with their daughters or daughters-in-law. They’ll attempt to forbid their daughters to wear makeup, to groom themselves in an age-appropriate way or to date. They will criticize the appearance of their daughters and daughters-in-law. This envy extends to relationships. Narcissistic mothers infamously attempt to damage their children’s marriages and interfere in the upbringing of their grandchildren.


8. She’s a liar in too many ways to count.

Any time she talks about something that has emotional significance for her, it’s a fair bet that she’s lying. Lying is one way that she creates conflict in the relationships and lives of those around her - she’ll lie to them about what other people have said, what they’ve done, or how they feel. She’ll lie about her relationship with them, about your behavior or about your situation in order to inflate herself and to undermine your credibility.

The narcissist is very careful about how she lies. To outsiders she’ll lie thoughtfully and deliberately, always in a way that can be covered up if she’s confronted with her lie. She spins what you said rather than makes something up wholesale. She puts dishonest interpretations on things you actually did. If she’s recently done something particularly egregious she may engage in preventative lying: she lies in advance to discount what you might say before you even say it. Then when you talk about what she did you’ll be cut off with “I already know all about it…your mother told me… (self-justifications and lies).” Because she is so careful about her deniability, it may be very hard to catch her in her lies and the more gullible of her friends may never realize how dishonest she is.

To you, she’ll lie blatantly. She will claim to be unable to remember bad things she has done, even if she did one of them recently and even if it was something very memorable. Of course, if you try to jog her memory by recounting the circumstances “You have a very vivid imagination” or “That was so long ago. Why do you have to dredge up your old grudges?” Your conversations with her are full of casual brush-offs and diversionary lies and she doesn’t respect you enough to bother making it sound good. For example she’ll start with a self-serving lie: “If I don’t take you as a dependent on my taxes I’ll lose three thousand dollars!” You refute her lie with an obvious truth: “No, three thousand dollars is the amount of the dependent exemption. You’ll only lose about eight hundred dollars.” Her response: “Isn’t that what I said?” You are now in a game with only one rule: You can’t win.

On the rare occasions she is forced to acknowledge some bad behavior, she will couch the admission deniably. She “guesses” that “maybe” she “might have” done something wrong. The wrongdoing is always heavily spun and trimmed to make it sound better. The words “I guess,” “maybe,” and “might have” are in and of themselves lies because she knows exactly what she did - no guessing, no might haves, no maybes.


9. She has to be the center of attention all the time.

This need is a defining trait of narcissists and particularly of narcissistic mothers for whom their children exist to be sources of attention and adoration. Narcissistic mothers love to be waited on and often pepper their children with little requests. “While you’re up…” or its equivalent is one of their favorite phrases. You couldn’t just be assigned a chore at the beginning of the week or of the day, instead, you had to do it on demand, preferably at a time that was inconvenient for you, or you had to “help” her do it, fetching and carrying for her while she made up to herself for the menial work she had to do as your mother by glorying in your attentions.

A narcissistic mother may create odd occasions at which she can be the center of attention, such as memorials for someone close to her who died long ago, or major celebrations of small personal milestones. She may love to entertain so she can be the life of her own party. She will try to steal the spotlight or will try to spoil any occasion where someone else is the center of attention, particularly the child she has cast as the scapegoat. She often invites herself along where she isn’t welcome. If she visits you or you visit her, you are required to spend all your time with her. Entertaining herself is unthinkable. She has always pouted, manipulated or raged if you tried to do anything without her, didn’t want to entertain her, refused to wait on her, stymied her plans for a drama or otherwise deprived her of attention.

Older narcissistic mothers often use the natural limitations of aging to manipulate dramas, often by neglecting their health or by doing things they know will make them ill. This gives them the opportunity to cash in on the investment they made when they trained you to wait on them as a child. Then they call you (or better still, get the neighbor or the nursing home administrator to call you) demanding your immediate attendance. You are to rush to her side, pat her hand, weep over her pain and listen sympathetically to her unending complaints about how hard and awful it is. (“Never get old!”) It’s almost never the case that you can actually do anything useful, and the causes of her disability may have been completely avoidable, but you’ve been put in an extremely difficult position. If you don’t provide the audience and attention she’s manipulating to get, you look extremely bad to everyone else and may even have legal culpability. (Narcissistic behaviors commonly accompany Alzheimer’s disease, so this behavior may also occur in perfectly normal mothers as they age.)


10. She manipulates your emotions in order to feed on your pain.

This exceptionally sick and bizarre behavior is so common among narcissistic mothers that their children often call them “emotional vampires.” Some of this emotional feeding comes in the form of pure sadism. She does and says things just to be wounding or she engages in tormenting teasing or she needles you about things you’re sensitive about, all the while a smile plays over her lips. She may have taken you to scary movies or told you horrifying stories, then mocked you for being a baby when you cried; she will slip a wounding comment into conversation and smile delightedly into your hurt face. You can hear the laughter in her voice as she pressures you or says distressing things to you. Later she’ll gloat over how much she upset you, gaily telling other people that you’re so much fun to tease, and recruiting others to share in her amusement. . She enjoys her cruelties and makes no effort to disguise that. She wants you to know that your pain entertains her. She may bring up subjects that are painful for you and probe you about them, all the while watching you carefully. This is emotional vampirism in its purest form. She’s feeding emotionally off your pain.

A peculiar form of this emotional vampirism combines attention-seeking behavior with a demand that the audience suffer. Since narcissistic mothers often play the martyr this may take the form of wrenching, self-pitying dramas which she carefully produces, and in which she is the star performer. She sobs and wails that no one loves her and everyone is so selfish, and she doesn’t want to live, she wants to die! She wants to die! She will not seem to care how much the manipulation of their emotions and the self-pity repels other people. One weird behavior that is very common to narcissists: her dramas may also center around the tragedies of other people, often relating how much she suffered by association and trying to distress her listeners, as she cries over the horrible murder of someone she wouldn’t recognize if they had passed her on the street.


11. She’s selfish and willful.

She always makes sure she has the best of everything. She insists on having her own way all the time and she will ruthlessly, manipulatively pursue it, even if what she wants isn’t worth all the effort she’s putting into it and even if that effort goes far beyond normal behavior. She will make a huge effort to get something you denied her, even if it was entirely your right to do so and even if her demand was selfish and unreasonable. If you tell her she cannot bring her friends to your party she will show up with them anyway, and she will have told them that they were invited so that you either have to give in, or be the bad guy to these poor dupes on your doorstep. If you tell her she can’t come over to your house tonight she’ll call your spouse and try get him or her to agree that she can, and to not say anything to you about it because it’s a “surprise.” She has to show you that you can’t tell her “no.”

One near-universal characteristic of narcissists: because they are so selfish and self-centered, they are very bad gift givers. They’ll give you hand-me-downs or market things for themselves as gifts for you (“I thought I’d give you my old bicycle and buy myself a new one!” “I know how much you love Italian food, so I’m going to take you to my favorite restaurant for your birthday!”) New gifts are often obviously cheap and are usually things that don’t suit you or that you can’t use or are a quid pro quo: if you buy her the gift she wants, she will buy you an item of your choice. She’ll make it clear that it pains her to give you anything. She may buy you a gift and get the identical item for herself, or take you shopping for a gift and get herself something nice at the same time to make herself feel better.


12. She’s self-absorbed.

Her feelings, needs and wants are very important; yours are insignificant to the point that her least whim takes precedence over your most basic needs. Her problems deserve your immediate and full attention; yours are brushed aside. Her wishes always take precedence; if she does something for you, she reminds you constantly of her munificence in doing so and will often try to extract some sort of payment. She will complain constantly, even though your situation may be much worse than hers. If you point that out, she will effortlessly, thoughtlessly brush it aside as of no importance (It’s easy for you… / It’s different for you…).


13. She is insanely defensive and is extremely sensitive to any criticism.

If you criticize her or defy her she will explode with fury, threaten, storm, rage, destroy and may become violent, beating, confining, putting her child outdoors in bad weather or otherwise engaging in classic physical abuse.


14. She terrorizes.

For all abusers, fear is a powerful means of control of the victim, and your narcissistic mother used it ruthlessly to train you. Narcissists teach you to beware their wrath even when they aren’t present. The only alternative is constant placation. If you give her everything she wants all the time, you might be spared. If you don’t, the punishments will come. Even adult children of narcissists still feel that carefully inculcated fear. Your narcissistic mother can turn it on with a silence or a look that tells the child in you she’s thinking about how she’s going to get even.

Not all narcissists abuse physically, but most do, often in subtle, deniable ways. It allows them to vent their rage at your failure to be the solution to their internal havoc and simultaneously to teach you to fear them. You may not have been beaten, but you were almost certainly left to endure physical pain when a normal mother would have made an effort to relieve your misery. This deniable form of battery allows her to store up her rage and dole out the punishment at a later time when she’s worked out an airtight rationale for her abuse, so she never risks exposure. You were left hungry because “you eat too much.” (Someone asked her if she was pregnant. She isn’t). You always went to school with stomach flu because “you don’t have a fever. You’re just trying to get out of school.” (She resents having to take care of you. You have a lot of nerve getting sick and adding to her burdens.) She refuses to look at your bloody heels and instead the shoes that wore those blisters on your heels are put back on your feet and you’re sent to the store in them because “You wanted those shoes. Now you can wear them.” (You said the ones she wanted to get you were ugly. She liked them because they were just like what she wore 30 years ago). The dentist was told not to give you Novocain when he drilled your tooth because “he has to learn to take better care of his teeth.” (She has to pay for a filling and she’s furious at having to spend money on you.)

Narcissistic mothers also abuse by loosing others on you or by failing to protect you when a normal mother would have. Sometimes the narcissist’s golden child will be encouraged to abuse the scapegoat. Narcissists also abuse by exposing you to violence. If one of your siblings got beaten, she made sure you saw. She effortlessly put the fear of Mom into you, without raising a hand.


15. She’s infantile and petty.

Narcissistic mothers are often simply childish. If you refuse to let her manipulate you into doing something, she will cry that you don’t love her because if you loved her you would do as she wanted. If you hurt her feelings she will aggressively whine to you that you’ll be sorry when she’s dead that you didn’t treat her better. These babyish complaints and responses may sound laughable, but the narcissist is dead serious about them. When you were a child, if you ask her to stop some bad behavior, she would justify it by pointing out something that you did that she feels is comparable, as though the childish behavior of a child is justification for the childish behavior of an adult. “Getting even” is a large part of her dealings with you. Anytime you fail to give her the deference, attention or service she feels she deserves, or you thwart her wishes, she has to show you.


16. She’s aggressive and shameless.

She doesn’t ask. She demands. She makes outrageous requests and she’ll take anything she wants if she thinks she can get away with it. Her demands of her children are posed in a very aggressive way, as are her criticisms. She won’t take no for an answer, pushing and arm-twisting and manipulating to get you to give in.


17. She “parentifies.”

She shed her responsibilities to you as soon as she was able, leaving you to take care of yourself as best you could. She denied you medical care, adequate clothing, necessary transportation or basic comforts that she would never have considered giving up for herself. She never gave you a birthday party or let you have sleepovers. Your friends were never welcome in her house. She didn’t like to drive you anywhere, so you turned down invitations because you had no way to get there. She wouldn’t buy your school pictures even if she could easily have afforded it. You had a niggardly clothing allowance or she bought you the cheapest clothing she could without embarrassing herself. As soon as you got a job, every request for school supplies, clothing or toiletries was met with “Now that you’re making money, why don’t you pay for that yourself?” You studied up on colleges on your own and choose a cheap one without visiting it. You signed yourself up for the SATs, earned the money to pay for them and talked someone into driving you to the test site. You worked three jobs to pay for that cheap college and when you finally got mononucleosis she chirped at you that she was “so happy you could take care of yourself.”

She also gave you tasks that were rightfully hers and should not have been placed on a child. You may have been a primary caregiver for young siblings or an incapacitated parent. You may have had responsibility for excessive household tasks. Above all, you were always her emotional caregiver which is one reason any defection from that role caused such enormous eruptions of rage. You were never allowed to be needy or have bad feelings or problems. Those experiences were only for her, and you were responsible for making it right for her. From the time you were very young she would randomly lash out at you any time she was stressed or angry with your father or felt that life was unfair to her, because it made her feel better to hurt you. You were often punished out of the blue, for manufactured offenses. As you got older she directly placed responsibility for her welfare and her emotions on you, weeping on your shoulder and unloading on you any time something went awry for her.


18. She’s exploitative.

She will manipulate to get work, money, or objects she envies out of other people for nothing. This includes her children, of course. If she set up a bank account for you, she was trustee on the account with the right to withdraw money. As you put money into it, she took it out. She may have stolen your identity. She took you as a dependent on her income taxes so you couldn’t file independently without exposing her to criminal penalties. If she made an agreement with you, it was violated the minute it no longer served her needs. If you brought it up demanding she adhere to the agreement, she brushed you off and later punished you so you would know not to defy her again.

Sometimes the narcissist will exploit a child to absorb punishment that would have been hers from an abusive partner. The husband comes home in a drunken rage, and the mother immediately complains about the child’s bad behavior so the rage is vented on to the child. Sometimes the narcissistic mother simply uses the child to keep a sick marriage intact because the alternative is being divorced or having to go to work. The child is sexually molested but the mother never notices, or worse, calls the child a liar when she tells the mother about the molestation.


19. She projects.

This sounds a little like psycho-babble, but it is something that narcissists all do. Projection means that she will put her own bad behavior, character and traits on you so she can deny them in herself and punish you. This can be very difficult to see if you have traits that she can project on to. An eating-disordered woman who obsesses over her daughter’s weight is projecting. The daughter may not realize it because she has probably internalized an absurdly thin vision of women’s weight and so accepts her mother’s projection. When the narcissist tells the daughter that she eats too much, needs to exercise more, or has to wear extra-large size clothes, the daughter believes it, even if it isn’t true. However, she will sometimes project even though it makes no sense at all. This happens when she feels shamed and needs to put it on her scapegoat child and the projection therefore comes across as being an attack out of the blue. For example: She makes an outrageous request, and you casually refuse to let her have her way. She’s enraged by your refusal and snarls at you that you’ll talk about it when you’ve calmed down and are no longer hysterical.

You aren’t hysterical at all; she is, but your refusal has made her feel the shame that should have stopped her from making shameless demands in the first place. That’s intolerable. She can transfer that shame to you and rationalize away your response: you only refused her because you’re so unreasonable. Having done that she can reassert her shamelessness and indulge her childish willfulness by turning an unequivocal refusal into a subject for further discussion. You’ll talk about it again “later” - probably when she’s worn you down with histrionics, pouting and the silent treatment so you’re more inclined to do what she wants.


20. She is never wrong about anything.

No matter what she’s done, she won’t ever genuinely apologize for anything. Instead, any time she feels she is being made to apologize she will sulk and pout, issue an insulting apology or negate the apology she has just made with justifications, qualifications or self pity: “I’m sorry you felt that I humiliated you” “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad” “If I did that it was wrong” “I’m sorry, but I there’s nothing I can do about it” “I’m sorry I made you feel clumsy, stupid and disgusting” “I’m sorry but it was just a joke. You’re so over-sensitive” “I’m sorry that my own child feels she has to upset me and make me feel bad.” The last insulting apology is also an example of projection.


21. She seems to have no awareness that other people even have feelings.

She’ll occasionally slip and say something jaw-droppingly callous because of this lack of empathy. It isn’t that she doesn’t care at all about other people’s feelings, though she doesn’t. It would simply never occur to her to think about their feelings. An absence of empathy is the defining trait of a narcissist and underlies most of the other traits I have described. Unlike psychopaths, narcissists do understand right, wrong, and consequences, so they are not ordinarily criminal. She beat you, but not to the point where you went to the hospital. She left you standing out in the cold until you were miserable, but not until you had hypothermia. She put you in the basement in the dark with no clothes on, but she only left you there for two hours.


22. She blames.

She’ll blame you for everything that isn’t right in her life or for what other people do or for whatever has happened. Always, she’ll blame you for her abuse. You made her do it. If only you weren’t so difficult. You upset her so much that she can’t think straight. Things were hard for her and your backtalk pushed her over the brink. This blaming is often so subtle that all you know is that you thought you were wronged and now you feel guilty. Your brother beats you and her response is to bemoan how uncivilized children are. Your boyfriend dumped you, but she can understand - after all, she herself has seen how difficult you are to love. She’ll do something egregiously exploitative to you, and when confronted will screech at you that she can’t believe you were so selfish as to upset her over such a trivial thing. She’ll also blame you for your reaction to her selfish, cruel and exploitative behavior. She can’t believe you are so petty, so small, and so childish as to object to her giving your favorite dress to her friend. She thought you would be happy to let her do something nice for someone else.

Narcissists are masters of multitasking as this example shows. Simultaneously your narcissistic mother is
Lying. She knows what she did was wrong and she knows your reaction is reasonable.
Manipulating. She’s making you look like the bad guy for objecting to her cruelties.
Being selfish. She doesn’t mind making you feel horrible as long as she gets her own way.
Blaming. She did something wrong, but it’s all your fault.
Projecting. Her petty, small and childish behavior has become yours.
Putting on a self-pitying drama. She’s a martyr who believed the best of you, and you’ve let her down.
Parentifying. You’re responsible for her feelings, she has no responsibility for yours.


23. She destroys your relationships.

Narcissistic mothers are like tornadoes: wherever they touch down families are torn apart and wounds are inflicted. Unless the father has control over the narcissist and holds the family together, adult siblings in families with narcissistic mothers characteristically have painful relationships. Typically all communication between siblings is superficial and driven by duty, or they may never talk to each other at all. In part, these women foster dissension between their children because they enjoy the control it gives them. If those children don’t communicate except through the mother, she can decide what everyone hears. Narcissists also love the excitement and drama they create by interfering in their children’s lives. Watching people’s lives explode is better than soap operas, especially when you don’t have any empathy for their misery.

The narcissist nurtures anger, contempt and envy - the most corrosive emotions - to drive her children apart. While her children are still living at home, any child who stands up to the narcissist guarantees punishment for the rest. In her zest for revenge, the narcissist purposefully turns the siblings’ anger on the dissenter by including everyone in her retaliation. (“I can see that nobody here loves me! Well I’ll just take these Christmas presents back to the store. None of you would want anything I got you anyway!”) The other children, long trained by the narcissist to give in, are furious with the troublemaking child, instead of with the narcissist who actually deserves their anger.

The narcissist also uses favoritism and gossip to poison her childrens’ relationships. The scapegoat sees the mother as a creature of caprice and cruelty. As is typical of the privileged, the other children don’t see her unfairness and they excuse her abuses. Indeed, they are often recruited by the narcissist to adopt her contemptuous and entitled attitude towards the scapegoat and with her tacit or explicit permission, will inflict further abuse. The scapegoat predictably responds with fury and equal contempt. After her children move on with adult lives, the narcissist makes sure to keep each apprised of the doings of the others, passing on the most discreditable and juicy gossip (as always, disguised as “concern”) about the other children, again, in a way that engenders contempt rather than compassion.

Having been raised by a narcissist, her children are predisposed to be envious, and she takes full advantage of the opportunity that presents. While she may never praise you to your face, she will likely crow about your victories to the very sibling who is not doing well. She’ll tell you about the generosity she displayed towards that child, leaving you wondering why you got left out and irrationally angry at the favored child rather than at the narcissist who told you about it.

The end result is a family in which almost all communication is triangular. The narcissist, the spider in the middle of the family web, sensitively monitors all the children for information she can use to retain her unchallenged control over the family. She then passes that on to the others, creating the resentments that prevent them from communicating directly and freely with each other. The result is that the only communication between the children is through the narcissist, exactly the way she wants it.


24. As a last resort she goes pathetic.

When she’s confronted with unavoidable consequences for her own bad behavior, including your anger, she will melt into a soggy puddle of weepy helplessness. It’s all her fault. She can’t do anything right. She feels so bad. What she doesn’t do: own the responsibility for her bad conduct and make it right. Instead, as always, it’s all about her, and her helpless self-pitying weepiness dumps the responsibility for her consequences AND for her unhappiness about it on you. As so often with narcissists, it is also a manipulative behavior. If you fail to excuse her bad behavior and make her feel better, YOU are the bad person for being cold, heartless and unfeeling when your poor mother feels so awful.

12th House 101

The 12th house in astrology rules hidden things, endings, and your subconscious. The traits and energies of the 12th house have aptly been described as “belonging to you, but also not”. They are harder to recognize within ourselves, as these are concealed energies.

For the planets in the 12th house, the energies of the planet will be hidden and you may feel misunderstood in that area. 

Sun: You enjoy time by yourself, and you may be introverted. You prefer to have a quiet, peaceful environment. You may be very sensitive and empathetic. You are drawn to spiritual and hidden subjects.

Moon: You are very intuitive and may be very spiritual. Your emotions are hidden from others, although you feel things very deeply and intensely. You need to have alone time to recharge. You probably connect easily to music. You feel other’s pain and emotions deeply and they combine with yours.

Mercury: You keep your thoughts hidden and often hold your tongue instead of speaking. You think deeply and carefully before you speak. You may be very shy and private. You think deeply and are very observant. You like to learn abstractly, and love to daydream and imagine.

Venus: You are known to hide your feelings towards loved ones or love interests. You may prefer to keep your relationships private and to yourself, or are prone to having secret relationships. You may be attracted to or attract people who need your help in healing.

Mars: You hide your desires and feelings of anger. You like to pry into the minds of others, as well as your own. You may have a hard time expressing what you want, and it’s hard for others to tell what you want as well. You find it hard to express your emotions and passions or interests, or keep them inside.

Jupiter: You are very intuitive and optimistic. You are probably very spiritual or feel connected to your spirituality. You love to serve others and help them with your sensitivity. You may have visions, prophetic dreams, or very vivid dreams or imaginations.

Saturn: You repress your doubts, fears, and feelings. You feel responsible for others, and have a fear of letting them down. You feel guilty often and have a fear of the unknown. You prefer to be alone and to do your work or things alone. You try very hard to be in control of yourself and your emotions.

Uranus: You like to expand or learn by yourself. You like having the freedom of being by yourself. You may have visions or strong thoughts or feelings about the future. You love to help others who are suffering and to help others change.

Neptune: You are extremely sensitive to yourself, others, and your environment. Other’s emotions, feelings, or beliefs affect you deeply, and you pick up on those energies easily. You may feel misunderstood in your emotions, sensitivity, and beliefs. You are interested in taboo subjects. You may have psychic abilities.

Pluto: You feel like you have to hide who you really are. You like to work behind the scenes rather than be in the spotlight. You are naturally very secretive and hide things from others. You feel anger very intensely, but hide those feelings or thoughts from others.

The signs in the 12th house are energies and traits present within your subconscious. Or they are subconscious behaviors or energies you give off.

Aries: You are energetic and aggressive only behind closed doors. You repress your anger and feelings of rage. You think of yourself as very level headed, even though you might not come off that way. You aren’t very competitive, but once you get started, you have a hard time stopping.

Taurus: You crave and value security. You come across as less stable than you actually are. You may feel the need to live life in the fast lane, and rarely like to stop and take things slowly.

Gemini: You have a very quick and witty mind, but you keep it to yourself. You may be oblivious to just how smart or articulate you are. You are prone to over thinking and keeping your thoughts to yourself instead of vocalizing them.

Cancer: You probably aren’t very aware of your feelings, or just how deep they are. You hide your emotional nature from others, not wanting them to see that side of you. You try and come off as strong and brave, even if you really aren’t. Being vulnerable is really rough for you.

Leo: You don’t like the spotlight or being the center of attention. You are a great leader, but only when the attention isn’t on you. You may be very shy or introverted, or just appear that way. You are very selfless, almost to a fault. You need help realizing your potential.

Virgo: You come off as more judgmental or intimidating than you actually are. You have a very sharp tongue, usually without realizing it. You are very critical and have certain standards and expectations that you want met. You hate to be wrong.

Libra: Working with others isn’t your strong suit. You work better alone, not with a partner. You come off as independent and as someone who doesn’t need anybody else. You may have a hard time seeing the beauty and love within yourself.

Scorpio: You think you are much more optimistic than you actually are. You have a subtle intensity and power. You are very secretive and keep everything to yourself. You deny anything that would assume you are darker or have a darker side than you appear.

Sagittarius: You keep your beliefs and philosophies to yourself, but you like to share those thoughts when comfortable or alone. You may come across as more cold and cynical than you really are. You are more warm and friendly when you are alone or comfortable.

Capricorn: You are easily overwhelmed by responsibilities and work. You shrug off any problems or have trouble admitting you need help. You don’t like to focus or dwell on anything more than you have to.

Aquarius: Your humanitarian ideals and attitude is hidden, and comes out when you are alone or comfortable. You may be in denial about your individuality. You may sometimes find yourself trying to blend or fit in more than stand out. You feel misunderstood easily.

Pisces: You are a lot more gentle and sensitive than you come across, even if you push those traits down. You try to hide your sensitive side, and try to appear as tougher and stronger. But when alone, you are very compassionate.

8

“You know of me all I can bear to be known.”

Silver may be cagey about his past, but these are some of the moments throughout the series in which I’ve stopped to wonder if John is speaking from a place of experience and hard-learned lessons.

The Average Intergalactic Cadet’s Field Guide to Understanding Their Human Classmates and Crewmates.

Written in Earth English
Current as of Earth Date 05-09-17

Understanding Their Competitive Nature and Occasional Aversion to Physical Activity or Friendly Sports

The Barbaric Practices of Young Human Physical Education.


Physical Education in many Human Schools

In the required Physical Education class, the students play all sorts of physically demanding games such as: Kickball/Matball, Dodgeball, Prisonball, or Linetag. These names may sound alarming and rightfully so. In our observations, the “games” they play are often humiliating for some and potentially injury inducing for others. Pardon our generalizations, but if your human is academically inclined, it is likely they do not have fond memories of their Physical Education classes and you will understand why after reading this breakdown of a typical class period (45 minutes to an hour long)

Kickball/Matball:
In Kickball and Matball, the small humans are divided into two “teams”. This may be done by the “coach” or by an outdated and socially cruel process of assigning “team captains” among the students who then alternate picking their fellow students to be on their teams. From this, the students who are either athletic or popular or both are easily determined from the shy, clumsy, or awkward students.

Once the teams are decided, the team that will be attempting to score points will line up; they are called the “visiting” team. The team trying to keep the opposing team from scoring points fan out across the gym; they are called the “home” team. The defending team will roll a spherical object called a “ball” at the line of students visiting team. One of the offensive students will then kick the ball as hard as they can and then run for a mat/base like a Idjwluge is chasing them.

Now this is the part where things get interesting. The home team students will attempt to catch the ball. If they catch the ball in the air before it hits the ground, the kicker is “out”. Three “outs” will cause the teams to switch roles. The kicking team doesn’t want out; the defending team wants to cause outs. If they don’t catch the ball, they can still grab the ball and throw it. We do not joke: the only way to get the kicker out after a non-catch is to THROW THE BALL AT THEIR BODY SO THAT IT HITS THEM. There is another option where the defensive team holds the ball and taps the running player with the ball, BUT THAT NEVER HAPPENS; THEY ALWAYS RESORT TO THROWING THE BALL AS HARD AS POSSIBLE. BECAUSE HUMANS LOVE TO MAKE THEIR LIVES AS DIFFICULT AS POSSIBLE WITH THE MOAT POTENTIAL FOR PAIN. However, if the runner gets to the base/mat before the ball hits them, they are “safe” and cannot get out as long as they are on the base.

This is one way where kickball and matball differ. In kickball, the runner on base is required to keep moving to allow room for the next kicker in line to get on base. In matball, there can be as many people on base as can fit on the mat. This routine will continue: kick, run, kick, run until you can run “home”. “Home” is the place where you kicked from. The bases form a diamond and there are four of them that form a circular running pattern. You kick from “home” base, and run towards “first” base. You then head for “second” base. Then “third” base and then back to where you started. If you safely make it home, you score your team a point. In kickball, you run the bases once. In matball you run them twice: first, second, third, back to first, second, third, then finally home. This probably to makeup for the advantage of choosing when you run to the next base rather than being obligated to.

The goal is to score as many points as possible before the other team gets any person on your team out three times.


Dodgeball:
If you thought that game was horrid prepare yourself again. After this description, the word “dodgeball” will strike fear in your heart. The entire goal of dodgeball is TO THROW A BALL AT THE OPPOSING TEAM WITH THE EXPLICIT INTENTION OF HITTING THEM WITH IT.

THAT’S IT.
THAT’S THE GAME.

The humans are split into two teams similar to the kickball teams. They line up on opposite walls. Precisely in the middle of the “gymnasium” (which as near as we can tell is the official name of the torture chamber of public schooling) are a row of spherical balls lined up parallel to the lines of students on each side. When the “coach” blows a whistle the students sprint for the balls, grab them and retreat. What follows is a chaotic battleground the likes of which we haven’t seen since the Battle of Wakowwnoif. The “game” is simple. Throw the ball at a member of the opposing team. They avoid the ball. If they are unsuccessful at dodging the impact, they are “out” and move to the wall. If they do dodge, they are fine and nothing happens. If they catch the ball thrown at them, they can bring one of their teammates back into the game and the person who threw the ball is out. If the person gets hit in the head, the person who threw the ball is out (this is the closest we could find to any sort of safety precautions laid out in this game). The game continues until one team systematically hits every member of the other team out.

Humans.

Prisonball:
Prison ball is exactly the same as dodgeball, it just has a few more enhancements and opportunities for social humiliation. Teams are still split in two. However, each team has three figurines called “bowling pins”. They are placed on the gymnasium floor. The goal of prisonball is to knock down the other team’s figurines and get the other team out. So each team is guarding their figurines while still playing dodgeball. Another twist comes when you are hit with a ball. Instead of simply being out, you are in Prison. Prison is an area in enemy territory separate from your team.

There are two ways out of prison. One is statistically unlikely. On each side of the gymnasium, located high up on the wall is a hoop with a net hanging from it. If the opposing team manages to to throw a ball through that hoop from their side of the gymnasium, everyone on their team in prison gets to rejoin the game.

The other way out is if a teammate throws a ball from their side of the gym, over the enemy territory and the enemies heads and the comrade in prison catches the ball, then the prisoner is set free.
This method requires a few things. First it requires the prisoner to have a friend on their team willing to throw them a ball. Second, it requires the non-prisoner teammate to be able to throw a ball that great distance accurately. Third, it requires the prisoner to be able to catch the ball. Fourth, it also requires the non-prisoner to also get hit in the process of doing all this, and if the prisoner and would-be rescuer don’t have any other friends-they are simply out of luck. In other words: the human must be popular and athletically inclined or just very very lucky. This is where the social humiliation comes in. However, many of our reports have shown that this game is prefered to dodgeball because once the human is “in prison” they simply have to pretend that they are trying to get people to get them out but then can just fritter away the rest of the game not participating. These are the humans we want to recruit for strategic planning.

The game ends when all the figurines are knocked down-either by the opposing team throwing balls at them or by the guarding team’s clumsiness.

Linetag:
Linetag is the least strenuous “game” the humans play in Physical Education. In all honesty, it looks rather fun. The human game of “Tag” is usually characterized by chaotic running around and avoidance of the human that is “it”. If “it” touches another human, that human is now “it” and must “tag” another human. There are many variations of this game that we will detail below since they are the least barbaric of the human “games” and might be useful in certain training exercises.

Linetag is one of those variations. Linetag requires a floor with different sets of intersecting lines. For some reason, humans decorate their gymnasium floors with a design of lines. Further research is required to discover if these are sacred markings, if they have special meanings, or if they are just for aesthetics. Two to four humans are chosen to be “it”. They remain “it” for the remainder of the game. Their goal is to tag every one of the non “it” students. When the student is tagged, they must sit down right where they are-no matter what.

The trick to the this game, however, is that the humans are only allowed to walk on the lines. They cannot deviate from a set of prescribed routes. They cannot hop lines. They must find intersections to avoid “it”. When a player is tagged and they sit down, they become a “roadblock”. The fleeing humans cannot pass them-but the “it” humans can. The game continues until all students are sitting.

Other Tag Variations:
Freeze tag: chaotic running pattern, but when “tagged” the player freezes though touched by a Nxiebxwoie. Game continues until every player is frozen. Players can unfreeze friends by crawling through their legs. (We do not understand why this would work to unfreeze someone but we have discovered that humans have very vivid imaginations when it comes to recreational activities)

Amoeba tag: also known as “sticky tag” or “worm tag” one player is “it” until they tag another player and then they are “stuck” together and must hold hands while chasing the other humans. With each tag, the “it” group gets larger and larger continuing to hold hands, link elbows, etc. Great fun to watch.

Circle tag: humans pair up and link elbows in a circle. “It” and a “runner” will begin a pursuit. The “runner” can link elbows (the bendy bits of their upper limbs) with anyone of the pairs and the partner that didn’t get linked must then run away. If they are tagged they are now “it” and the former “it” is now the “runner” and must find a pair to break up.


For the athletically disinclined human, you could understand why these activities would be traumatizing. Oftentimes these games were treated as though they were the equivalent to our Yeqipguited Games by the more athletically inclined. The less talented humans may have been mocked. If the human you are working with seems less inclined to participate in a game of Bejbpoi, you now understand why.

anonymous said:
I want Marude and Hide to give each other a hug and Marude to caress Hide’s hair. Not in a romantic way, but in a really caring way uwu

This ask is like two months old but it’s so cute I just had to draw it and turn it into angst. Seriously though, imagine Hide having a vivid nightmare about what transpired in the sewers or maybe his scars just start hurting him a lot and Marude doesn’t really know what to do because he’s not that good with emotions. He just sighs heavily and pulls Hide into a hug, hoping it’ll help somehow (’:

anonymous asked:

so you agree that magnus doesn't love alec? I really don't think they should have ever tried to date or be in a relationship that's never going to work. It's good they got out of it now so they can both go their separate ways after the shadowhunters v. downwolders war is done. They can both find people more suited to them. Their relationship was problematic and Alec needs to find a shadowhunter and Magnus someone like him.

(x)

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the most terrifying thing about maladaptive daydreaming (in my opinion) is that it’s a disorder that makes you love it.

like it whispers in your ear and covers your eyes and strokes your face while it pulls your hair. maladaptive daydreaming holds you by the throat and tells you to think of it as a hug.

you can’t feel time slip away, minutes and hours adding up to years. you can’t see how your own eyes glass over. it makes you a ghost of a person, a hollow shell and the thing that’s supposed to be inside is literally worlds away, but all you feel is the rush. it wrecks you from the inside out but even as it hurts you, it tells you “i’m the only one who understands, stay with me, be mine, you’re mine.”

it’s a disorder that completely enslaves you and that. is. so. scary.

and the second scariest thing? how it disguises itself. “shh. it’s okay. it’s not a big deal. everyone daydreams.” or, “you have a vivid imagination. you’re lucky. you’re special. be glad.”

maladaptive daydreaming is a poison.

Secret Things Your Sign Gets Anxious About Randomly (check your moon too):

Aries: Although they can be quick to rebel, they secretly fear judgment from their peers but will always be too proud to admit this.

Taurus: Awkward silences! They love being seen as charming and holding a conversation with someone new feels like a lot of work sometimes, as they’re worried they’ll run out of things to say

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It’s time for Trilobite Tuesday! The genus Selenopeltis has been found in Ordovician outcrops in England, Portugal, Morocco and the Czech Republic. Some, especially those with a particularly vivid imagination, have speculated that this trill-type may have served as the inspiration for “face huggers” from the Alien film franchise. Examples like this 13-cm Selenopeltic gallicus from Macao, Portugal, certainly show characteristics that would have been intimidating to any other species in their 450- million-year-old marine world.

The Danger of the Story You've Always Wanted to Write

A lot of writers have that one thing they’ve always wanted to work on. It’s been in their head for years, maybe even decades, changing and growing and becoming the ultimate story that’s bound to be great, right? And then they finally start, shaping and toiling, crafting the perfect piece of work. It’s all amazing, just like they imagined!

No wait… there’s a better idea. This new idea could revolutionize the story, they just have to change a fundamental of what they’ve already written, but the scenes that need to go are too close to their heart. If they delete something, then the audience will see their perfectly crafted character differently, and the abandoned scenes and plotlines will rot in their head. Each scene was imagined so carefully, so detailed and planned, imagined for so long that any altering ruins everything! What’s supposed to replace it doesn’t have the same familiarity; it’s too new, has no legacy like the rest of the work. It’s like you can see the stitches on the page and the replacement isn’t as vivid as the other scenes that have been imagined hundreds of times before.

Take a step back.

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Some Information on the Highly Sensitive Person

Roughly 20% of the population struggle with high sensitivity. Typical traits include the following:

1. As students, they work differently from other people. They often pick up on subtleties and may think deeply about a subject before sharing in a discussion or contributing in a classroom setting. (This does not necessarily mean they don’t understand the material, or are too shy to speak in public. It has more to do with the way the person processes information.)

2. They tend to be highly conscientious in their work. They notice and pay attention to details, and they think things through very carefully. Also, often being highly sensitive is equated with higher levels of intelligence, being highly intuitive and having a vivid imagination. Highly sensitive individuals work and learn best in quiet and calm environments.

3. Highly sensitive students and employees generally underperform when they are being evaluated. They are highly conscious of being watched, and this inhibits their ability to function at their peak.

4. Although some individuals who are born with this trait may seem to be more introverted by nature, being introverted and highly sensitive do not always go together. Instead, environmental factors have a greater influence on how the individual feels and reacts.

5. People with high sensitivity are more sensitive to both negative and positive experiences. Thus, they are more affected by rough treatment, pain, heartaches and insensitivity from others … but also seem to benefit more from being treated with kindness, care and thoughtfulness.

6. Other common characteristics of the highly sensitive person being easily over-stimulated (hence the need for quiet and calm), being more emotionally reactive than others, and having higher levels of empathy.

INFP thoughts

1. Literally crying after being around people for an extended period of time.

2. Intensely caring about other people but being overwhelmed by their company simultaneously.

3. People constantly mistaking you for an extravert because you act goofy to cover up the fact that crowds make you impossibly uncomfortable.

4. Saying something out loud while with other people that strays about 4 trains of thought from what they were talking about.

5. In the middle of creating something revolutionary, and realizing it’s sundown and you haven’t eaten all day.

6. Being actually shy, but too afraid of being rude to not talk to someone who strikes up a conversation with you.

7. Assuming the completely wrong date/time/activity because you never thought to look at the schedule.

8. Wanting to be wild and party like everyone else but never being invited out because you’re too afraid to be vulnerable and make actual friends.

9. Did I mention perceiving the best in everyone and everything? I promise if you look past the foam and gnarling teeth of that rabid pit bull it has a good spirit, deep down.

10. Being such good listener that you feel like everyone who calls you a friend just keeps you around for free counseling sessions.

11. Loving alone time but at the same time hating that it makes you have to process emotions.

12. Being the one to whom all of his coworkers come to complain about each other.

13. Having an imagination so vivid that you misinterpret a text message without a period to mean the sender is irreparably angry with you.

14. Being the one who always apologizes, even though you think the other person is egregiously wrong.

15. Having steadfast beliefs, but no courage to say anything about them to anyone who happens to challenge them.

16. Everyone thinking you’re a freak of nature or depressed when you decide to spend long periods locked in your room. I’m fine, I’m just writing a song. I’ll be out in 4 days.

17. Wanting to respond to a message, but too afraid of how to say something as to not break  the other person’s fragile heart.

18. Identifying as male, but possessing every personality quality that would be deemed the opposite of masculine.

19. Turning even a superficial conversation with a stranger into a deep metaphor that reflects the greater meaning of life.

20. Wondering if you have no soul because you didn’t laugh out loud at something that everyone else in the room found hilarious.

21. Feeling too guilty to not give the homeless man on the street the last dollar in your wallet, even though you don’t even have a clue how you will pay your rent this month.

22. Finally telling someone your dreamy unrealistic ideas and then having them inevitably poke a hole in every logic flaw, crushing your tender spirit.

23. Having a really great idea, bringing it to life, realizing no one would care, then giving up on it.

24. Laughing like a fool in public (often in a serious setting) because you remembered something funny.

25. Despite all the lip you get for being overly an sensitive, shy, free spirit with his head in the clouds, knowing you wouldn’t change a thing because the personality type website said you were 4% of the population, and that makes you freakin’ special.

Source: web

Seven Minutes In Heaven (Pt.2 of 5)

Author: ceruleanbucky

Warnings: Mild make-out scene, language, sexual tension, talk of kinks and other sexy times. Fun to read if you have a vivid imagination. still fun if you don’t. 

Pairings: None yet. 

Yo, my dudes, never trust me when I say that a fic will be out in the next week, because it probably won’t. at least I’m honest. sorry for the wait buddies. hope you enjoy it. 


Bucky, I dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with Y/N.”

The words hung in the air as you and Bucky both tried not to look too excited. Right when Bucky opened his mouth to speak, another voice cut the silence.

“What is going on here and why didn’t anybody invite me?” Sam asked, moving to sit down on the couch.

“Truth or Dare, and we didn’t invite you because you were cleaning your bird costume and we all know how you get when you do that,” you say, going to take another sip of your drink.

“First of all, how dare you. Second of all, yeah, that’s fair.” Sam said, opening a beer for himself.

“Bucky, Y/N, do you accept the dare?” Steve ponders, not wanting to force the two of you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.

“Wait, wait, what was the dare?” Sam questions, eyebrow raised. Steve explains what happened in the game up until this point, and Sam instantly protests.

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anonymous asked:

I saw the post about libra moons having a vivid imagination, and I just had to think a bit. But I could't think it through. Why does libra moons have a big imaginaive mind? Isn't that pisces and leo's thing?

one of libra moons best assets is their imagination (libra ascendants, also) 🦄

libra (moon/risings) get drained by hanging out with people, easily. so they often take time (alone) to fantasize and meditate when their emotionally & psychologically drained 💤

other placements that tend to do this:
moon in taurus, taurus risings
moon in gemini
moon in cancer (esp w/ air sun)
moon in sagittarius (esp w/ air sun)
moon in aquarius (esp w/ air sun)
moon in pisces

           CLAIRSENTIENCE/EMPATHIC (Intuitive Feeling)

                      MASTERPOST & HELPFUL INFO HERE <–

Clairsentience is also known as ’Clear Feeling’ or ’Clear Sensing’ and is very closely linked with the gift of Empathy (they’re both basically the same thing, which is why I’ve decided to group them together.)  See, Empathy and Clairsentience are within the same spectrum of gifts that are based on feeling/sensing the emotions and energies of the world around us. But, Clairsentience is a more intense version of Empathy which takes on a wider range of sensitivities. 

Where an Empath has the ability to sense and feel emotions of people, animals or objects, a Clairsentient person is able to do all of that as well as physically feel energy fields around them, including a person’s aura and voice. So while the two are similar and it is very likely that an Empath can develop a greater Clairsentient gift, it strongly relies on the drive and trust in an individual’s own intuition to tap into fully. We have to trust that what we are feeling is true and act accordingly; it’s so important to remember that we cannot take on and help everyone either. Sometimes the best we can do is protect our own energy, it’s not being selfish, it’s called being SAFE.

In the beginning, you may find that it can be very challenging to understand, because sometimes you will feel things but, you don’t know where it’s coming from or why it’s coming to you. It can be strange at times because you may even feel physical sensations like tickling, goosebumps or weird pressure. Imagery and words DO have an effect on the body so, it may even help to cut back on some of the crazy shows and become more aware of how you speak. It’s important to understand that your words are spells and they should always be used wisely. You may even find now that you can’t watch gore-type movies for example, because they feel physical pain that you feel. Ugh, I know that now just thinking about the ORIGINAL Hostel movie (the LAST gore film I ever watched, legit) I can feel my stomach turn and I get a weird lumpy feeling in my throat. Never again, nope. 

Anyways, sometimes information or specific details will pop into your mind and they will have come out of the blue, literally from nowhere. You will generally feel the emotions and energy of people and the environment around you. The more you develop this gift, you will find that you will have a good sense of what someone is thinking. You might feel exactly what another person around you is feeling, their happiness, sadness and even aggression. You may feel just kind of heavy or off when you meet a new person who ends up being more narcissistic than anything. You may get anxious for no reason or feel random pent up emotions that suddenly burst out like a popped balloon without warning. But, most of all you will just be able to sense the presence of another being before you see them, you’ll just know when someone is having the best or the worst day of their life. Trusting your intuition will greatly help you to know whether you should put your energy and trust into a situation or a person. 

So, how do you know that it’s not ‘all in your head’? Well, we test it! Have you had experiences of overwhelming emotions or energy from people animals, or for just no freaking reason at all? Does it expand to objects and places too? Have you ever felt emotionally attached to someone, even at a distance and can easily call on them in dreams, random thoughts or flashes of insight? Maybe you have a pattern of people not understanding or saying that you are just being “too sensitive” or have a very “vivid imagination”. Are you able to understand energy by words and body language by easily picking up on small cues that others don’t? Perhaps you can sense the presence of spirits, or are aware of the strong energy that will suddenly surround you. Are you highly sensitive to your surroundings to the point where they can put a damper on your emotions or do large crowds make you physically feel ill and call for a serious recharge after? If any of these situations sound familiar, it’s very possible you are an Empath with the ability to tap into clairsentience on a deeper level.

A fun activity you could try is to ask a friend to show you a picture of somebody they know well (obviously make sure you don’t know the person too lol) and then look into the person’s eyes and focus on their energy. Ask yourself how they must have felt at the moment of the photo being taken? What this individual is like as a person? Would you trust the person? Is there anything else the person’s eyes are revealing or rather hiding? After a few minutes of gaining insight, check with your friend to see how accurate you were! Your first time you may only get basic feelings like a burst of positivity or negativity but, the more you practice, the more you will begin to feel, understand and see the opportunities that this beautiful gift has in store for you.

                               (video used in .Gif here)

*This concludes the ‘CLAIR’ posts. If you have missed any and want to read more, click the link at the top of this post. Have any areas you would like me to cover? Shoot me an ask for in-depth write-ups!

Angel in Hiding (Sirius Black x Reader)

Fandom: Harry Potter, Marauders Era

Pairing: Reader x Sirius Black

Request: Hey sweetie, I had this idea of Sirius Black x reader in which she is really shy and georgeous and sings like an angel and Sirius once hears her and then tries to find her and it’s super cute!?

Warnings: alcohol

Word Count: 1.1k

Authors Note: the song actually fits the timeline of the marauders era, if you dont know the song of the band go take a listen!

As you lied in your bed starring at the ceiling, with your red tie hanging loosely around your neck as you listened to the music thumping through the walls from downstairs. You wondered why you were put in Gryffindor in the first place, you weren’t brave or strong, you didn’t fit in at all.

As you sat alone in your room while everyone else partied downstairs that thought wouldn’t leave your mind, you couldn’t get the guts to open your door and walk down a few steps to be with your friends, you weren’t brave at all.

You were quite shy actually but you had really opened up to your roommates over the years, they were all like sisters to you, but it has gotten to the point that they didn’t even bother to ask you to come to the party because they knew you would refuse.

What’s so good about parties anyways? Sure there is lots of alcohol, something you are very familiar with from fire whiskey fueled all night hangouts and playing drunken truth or dare with your roommates, but you preferred to drink in your room, not with a bunch of random people who don’t even know your name.

The party downstairs was blasting terrible music, there was too many people in a small space and the only people there you wanted to be crammed into a small space with were probably all off snogging some guy somewhere.

Oh yeah, the party has guys… not that there are any worthwhile, well maybe Sirius, you wondered what he was like at parties but the stories you have heard create a pretty vivid picture. You can imagine his messy hair falling in his face with pink cheeks from the high amount of alcohol, you can imagine a very stoned Remus on his right …and probably some girl on his left, well more likely on his lap.

As much as you wanted that girl to be you, you knew it never would be. He has never looked at you before, and there are much prettier girls he could choose. Even if he would choose you, there was no way you were ever going down there.

All you wanted to do was read your book but the music was way too loud, you glanced to your wand which was lying on the chest at the foot of your bed and you groaned as you got up to grab it like it was exceptionally inconvenient. You lied back down with a small huff but just as you were about to cast a silencing spell to give yourself the peace and quiet you craved the song changed and it was …actually a good song? You placed your wand down beside you as you let the notes travel through your ears, a small smile spreading across your face.

The song playing was a muggle song you were very familiar with; it was “Over my Head” by a band called Fleetwood Mac.

You couldn’t help that the words started to fall from your lips, quietly at first until you remembered you were alone and no one would be coming back anytime soon and you put more effort behind the sweet lyrics.

You loudly sang your favourite part “I’m over my head, but it sure feels nice” not caring who hear you, you continued “you can take me anytime you like, I’ll be around if you think you might”.

What you were unaware of was that the boy that clouded your thoughts just minutes ago had drunkenly made his way to the girl’s dorms trying to escape the grabby hands of a just as drunk Slytherin girl.

He stumbled down the hallway which looked strangely like the hallway to his dorm but for some reason he couldn’t find his room.

He was about to give up until he heard the sweetest voice coming from behind one of the doors. He stopped walking and leant his heavy head against the door to listen.

“Love me baby and hold me tight”

He wanted to drown in the sweet tone of the mysterious girl behind the door, at that moment he wasn’t even concerned that he and found himself in the girl’s dormitory instead of the boys, he slowly slid his back down the door and listened to the angelic voice sing the rest of the words. He smiled at how you got louder near the end of the song gaining confidence in yourself.

Before he even knew it the song had ended and you stopped singing, he wanted nothing more than to hear you sing again.

Sirius wasn’t too drunk but he had enough alcohol to stop thinking rationally, he knew that he wanted to hear you sing more and he knew where you were so he opened the door to your dorm subsequently scarring the shit out of you.

You sat up and looked mortified

“what are you doing? Sirius this isn’t the boy’s dorms”

He was just as stunned by your beauty as he was by your voice so for a moment he lost his words.

You quickly calculated that he must be drunk and lost so you hopped out of bed and tried to hide your pink blush from his starring eyes. You waved a hand in front of his face.

“Hey, B-Black are y-you lost?”

He smiled at you as you stuttered and basically whispered your words, your shyness evident in this situation.

Sirius spoke up at last “I’m not lost; I’ve found exactly what I was looking for”

Your blush turned red as you raised an eyebrow and questioned him “and uh what is that exactly?”

He took a step closer to you and answered you with a smirk “The girl making Fleetwood mac sound angelic” You went to push him out of your room once you realized he heard you sing, your embarrassment controlling your actions.

As you pushed him into the hallway you watched as he stumbled over his own feet and realized you should help him get to his dorm.

“Look, I’m going to ignore that last statement and help you walk to your dorm, seeing as your drunk and tripping over your own feet”

You slipped your arm around his to balance him and pulled him to walk but before he moved he looked down at you ,

“It’s not the alcohol that has me stumbling, it’s you that I’m falling for” he winked at you as he said it.

You knew Sirius was a famous flirt with endless pick-up lines, but you couldn’t help but smile at that one as you pulled his arm forward, not wanting him to see his effect on you.

The Quindecile Aspect in Astrology

The Quindecile is a 165 degree angle between two planets (or asteroids) that is relatively rare. It reveals where in life someone is obsessively determined.

I recommend using an orb of one degree and thirty minutes at the most, any more than that and this minor aspect loses its potency.

You must already understand orbs, and know the difference between applying aspects versus separating aspects.

The quick and easy way to see if there’s a quindecile in a chart, is that it is 15 degrees away from being an opposition. For example, Sun at 13 degrees Leo would be opposite Moon at 13 Aquarius and quindecile Saturn at 28 degrees Aquarius. That Sun at 13 Leo could also be quindecile Mars at 28 degrees Capricorn.

Examples:

Sun quindecile Moon has to do with getting to emotionally passionate to the point of obsession, you can channel this energy to being determined to achieve something. For example, you can unlock mysticism powers if you have either Sun or Moon in the 8th house, help others cope with death (8th house), or become a master of the power of attraction, manifesting the ability to gain money from others (another 8th house trait). So take into account which houses the planets are in to interpret the aspect; which area of life will the person be obsessed with? Another example, if sun or moon is in the 5th house this person could be obsessed with expressing themselves creatively or obsessed with becoming a parent one day. Maybe they’re infertile or haven’t found that “special someone” and they are so determined to have a child that they keep seeking options…

You’ll be more apt at these abilities by utilizing the midpoints of your sun and moon. Midpoints are another lesson entirely, if you want to research them, they can bring the whole chart together.

Mercury quindecile Jupiter, They likely get obsessed with gaining more knowledge on specific topics, for example, if Jupiter is in the 6th house, they may be very drawn to learn about pets or animals in general, nutrition and health, or practical skills that can be applied to jobs. This person is very clever and versatile, possibly a quick learner and fast reader, or at least has the potential to be.

Mercury quindecile Neptune could mean you become obsessive about fantasies that you create. You could get so infatuated by the ideal image of a person or an aspiration in your life that you don’t realize it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I’m sure you have a vivid imagination and potential to unlock psychic abilities.

Venus Quindecile your North Node, any turbulent relationships will ultimately bring you towards where you are fated to be in life, as they will teach you to find balance within yourself, coming into your North Node  purpose. It is your fate to obsess over certain people! Use an example based on the sign of their North Node and what it says about their purpose.

Ceres quindecile the Sun could mean that you get obsessive about certain foods, you can channel this energy into being passionately driven to learn nutrition or gardening, or to make sure that those around you have a positive relationship with food.

Hygeia quindecile Ceres, you could get obsessive about preventing health problems, particularly by letting food be medicine.

Mars quindecile Jupiter, you get obsessively attracted to men who are connected to spirituality and highly intelligent.

Chiron quindecile Saturn, you could get obsessed with older men/women, pursuing people who are in authority. Your underlying thirst for power makes you attracted to people who have their life under control and who are well established. Yet at the same time, you often have confrontation with authority figures; you are so strong minded that you won’t do something just because you are told to, you have an urge to go against expectations and go your own way!

Chiron quindecile your sun could mean that you are obsessed with proving your worth due to all the times you were knocked down.

Recommended reading: The Quindecile by Ricki Reeves

If you would like a reading with me, send me a private message! You can check out   AcaiPsycheLife.tumblr.com/readings   for more info.