God damnit, Hargen
Context: Our party is two dwarves and a human, and we were in a town that was being attacked by just about everything on the face of the planet, including a fire demon and a really shitty necromancer.
DM: Hargen, roll a d20 to see if you avoid the fire stream.
Hargen, OOC: *Rolls a 9* FUCK
Dm: So, Hargen attempts to dive out of the way of the incoming flames, but in the process his clothes are caught alight, roll to see how badly.
Hargen, OOC: *Rolls a 2* Oh god I’m dead aren’t I?
DM, now with terrifying smile: Wrong, while narrowly dodging the fire, Hargen’s clothes and beard catch alight-
Our party: WAIT WHAT
DM: And within a few seconds Hargen is left naked and beardless, for all the world to see. Take ten damage.
Our party pretty much lost it, but then the DM, still with that evil grin, rolls a few dice, and says this.
Dm: The neceomancer, incredibely flustered at the sudden showing of such a high quality anatomical form, the enlarging magic it was directing at the demon goes haywire and is now aimed at whatever part of Hargen’s body he is focusing on *Proceeds to roll natural one*
Dm: Hargen’s dick grows four times it’s regular size
Hargen, OOC: FUCKING SCORE
Orgar: HARGEN THE WALL’S ALMOST DONE FOR AND YOUR NAKED FOR FUCKS SAKE PICK UP YOUR PILLAR DICK AND RUN
Hargen, OOC, and face lighting up: I lost my sword earlier, right?
DM: Yes? Why’d you ask?
Hargen, OOC: Can I slap the demon with my dick?
We had to stop for five minutes because we couldn’t stop laughing. I ended up having to renounce my god and call upon a new one just to save his ass while Orgar tried to drag civilians out of the burning tavern because they were too caught up staring at Hargen’s lengthed staff.