they have meant nothing without you

anonymous asked:

Misha said that we're going to see the "cosmic consequences". I wonder why nothing happened when Dean killed death. What do you think?

what i think is, dean killed death without consequences because it was meant to have no consequences. it was an emotionally-charged moment where the sole action of killing death instead of sam held a huge meaning. the fact that it had no consequences is… nonsense, but it was a story the writers didn’t decide to pursue. they went with the consequences of amara being freed instead. 
as for cas, first of all, he’s broken a pact bound in blood. billie specifies that the consequences are happening if the brothers break the pact. it’s not billie’s death that messes things up on a cosmic scale, but the breaking of the oath. 
i was also considering that maybe the consequences won’t fall on cas’ back only. what if they fall on those who made the pact first? 
anyway, im not saying that dean killing death with no consequences makes sense, but from what i’ve gathered it’s a completely different situation. 

Modern heartbreak is “read at 9:13 p.m.” when it’s 9:40. it’s unliked photos, it’s blocking and unblocking and blocking and unblocking. modern heartbreak is sick with being watched, it’s breakups playing out on twitter feeds, it’s unfollowed unfollowed unfollowed. it’s screenshotted photos that shouldn’t have been saved, it’s screenshotted texts meant for one person only. it’s seeing your ex lover with their new one, watching their lives playing out like yours didn’t, it’s phones thrown into bedroom walls when their profile changes from single to in a relationship. it’s snapchat stories to make that one person jealous because it feels like without them you’re nothing, it’s that one story expiring before they see it because they don’t give a fuck about you now and you know it, it’s deleting their contact info but wanting it tattooed on the back of your hand in case you ever want to call, it’s messy it’s messy it’s messy it’s so fucking messy because everyone fucking sees it and it never goes away.

no more apology texts. no more reckless highway speeding. no more scribbled poetry in the back of spanish class. there is nothing left to lose. there is nothing left for you.

you haven’t seen me since i dyed my hair and it’s nice to have something you didn’t get to ruin. i’m dressing different too and lipsticking my way out of the girl you tore apart. i can finally breathe easy. i can finally be grateful that i never really meant it when i kissed you.

look, it’s me without you. look, i’m doing just fine. look, goddamn it, i’m lighter than i’ve been in months. there are seven billion people on the planet. i don’t think you matter so much anymore.


anonymous asked:

Why are you so in love with science? (not meant in a bad way, I'm just curious)

I guess it’s because science just sort of makes sense to me, on a fundamental level.

The processes of science and scientific analysis are very in line with how I see the world and how I think. I’ve always been a very sort of analytic thinker. Like I was the kid who always had to know why and was always questioning everything and always tries to explain everything (to the point that I was, at time, a very obnoxious child). 

I like facts. I like seeing how things fit together. I like sorting through things and finding the bigger picture and then seeing how the individual details slot into it. 

It’s how I make sense of the world I guess. Trying to find an explanation for things I don’t understand. It’s why I was never good at being religious but am fascinated by the history of religion and how it creates and is created by society. 

And it goes beyond the purely natural and physical sciences. I feel similarly about the social sciences and history and anything that relies on critical analysis. 

On a fundamental level I want to know why. And science, at it’s core, is an attempt to answer that question. 

I’m not attracted to anyone who isn’t excited about me. I want to be shown love consistently. I want to be shown off, celebrated, and reminded of my beauty. I don’t want to surround myself around anyone who doesn’t make me feel anything. I want my presence craved any time I go missing. I want my spirit full in return of me giving you everything. The way I love is everything but ordinary. The way my heart is set up - I fill people until I’m left empty. Unintentionally, I will shower you with all of me until I’m left with nothing. All I want is for someone to feel what I feel and love how I love - someone who’s eager to give me mutuality - without me having to question whether or not they’re meant for me.
—  Reyna Biddy

inspired by this tweet and Ashton’s undying love for creating

Ashton was a firm believer in chasing songs.  Everything he needed to write pretty words and the music to go with them was out there, he just had to find it.  Sometimes that meant packing up his car and leaving for a few days, usually without a plan.  It worried you the first time.  You wracked your brain for what you could have done despite his assurance that he just needed some time to think.  As more and more of these instances of jetting off with little more than his guitar and a change of clothes occurred, you figured he was telling the truth.   It was nothing personal, he just had to get away.  His brief trips usually took him to places he could be surrounded by nature: sprawling forests or cliffs overlooking the sea.  The words came easier that way, he would tell you.

Keep reading

I’m not completely sure I love you. I’m just a teenage girl who’s bad at all things concerning the art of romance. Even if I don’t love you, I feel pretty damn close. I am absolutely obsessed with you, you occupy my every thought. My heart beats so fast when I think of seeing you again, and I could live in the joy I feel when you’re around. You’re the first person I loved after having my heart absolutely shattered for the first time ever. You taught me that love doesn’t equal pain. Your eyes are so warm, so beautiful, so right. I never knew brown eyes were my favorite until I looked into your’s. I love everything about you, all your insecurities because without them, you wouldn’t be you. You’re far from perfect, but we all are, and that’s okay. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to be with you right now. I would give up my entire universe if it meant that you were happy. There are so many things I want to say to you, but I have no idea how to string together the words to express them. So, instead, I’ll say this. I think, maybe, after all, I do love you.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #1066 // excerptsofstories

Yes, Arthur is a retired elementary school teacher (if only working as one for five years counts), yes, Arthur has a very omega-appropriate fondness for children (within reason), and yes, Arthur has always imagined finding a nice mate, settling down, and having a few children (who hasn’t?).


“Will you be my new mommy?”

—isn’t what he had in mind.

Arthur peers at the little alpha boy skeptically, because he may be a cashier at the local office supply store and they may be having a massive Back to School sale, but he’s not an idiot.

“I’m not giving you an employee discount for being cute,” Arthur tells him.

The little alpha flushes, bashful, as though Arthur really, genuinely meant that he was cute. It’s kind of endearing, since the alpha appears no older than five or six, but that doesn’t help the situation any.

Without saying anything more, the alpha toddles off and Arthur rolls his eyes at nothing, hoping beyond hope that his shift ends before the store is swamped with another rush. It’s twenty minutes to the hour and, at this point, he and his bladder are counting down.

The omega feels a tug on his pants, which should be alarming but it’s so unexpected that he doesn’t react until the fabric of his work uniform is, quite literally, pulled down.

He wheels around, trips over the garment that’s now at his ankles, and watches in stunned disbelief as the same little boy from before absconds with his trousers.


There is no way this is happening.

Keep reading

The difference was I loved you with everything
And you loved me with everything you had left
I understood it
I loved you anyway and I stayed
Alone except the time we got that was never enough time
And all the time without you
I turned my soul into poetry
And folded it into paper bouquets
Given to you daily

I loved you in secret
If it meant I could love you at all
I loved you in business hours on my office floor
I asked for nothing more than you could give to me
Yet hoping if I showed you my heart
You would know something
You would choose it
And I would have waited if there was something to wait for
I hoped for more

You loved me too
I swear you almost did choose me
I know you
Don’t forget that I know you
We made a home together in some alternate universe that was just us
That began growing from a thing that opened on the night we started talking
And never stopped
Neither of us wanted to
Something opened and you know what you saw
You know what it could have been
You hoped for more
Yet this was in your hands
And you weren’t willing to hurt people
But it hurt

Do you remember when I bought us concert tickets and you said no
You said you couldn’t go
Because you didn’t want to be seen with me in public
I think you realised it was the only time I was ever mad at you
Though I said nothing

I’m saying something now
I’m saying tell me I’m worth being in a relationship that doesn’t make me more alone
I’m saying tell me I’m worth being seen with
That I’m worth a love I could tell my friends about
A love somebody would be so proud of
Tell me now I’m worth somebody who is not afraid
Somebody who would tattoo my name on their ass
Because they would want me around that long
Tell me I’m worth somebody who would want take me out to dinner

Baby I have so many pretty dresses that you’ve never seen on me
That nobody has ever seen on me
I want to be loved in a dress
Yet even so I want to be loved for my mind
Not just my body
You got a hurried messy wanting on a hardwood floor
We never got to have more

The way I would have cast eyes at you
Over a wine glass across a table
Strolling through the city
Crying in films where lovers never got to end up together
Talking all night
Falling asleep in your arms
Seeing your body at first light
My skin shine
The colours of autumn
The joy I would take just making you breakfast
Though I got to make you coffee a few times
And you drank it
You drank it and never complained even though I know you thought it was shitty
Lots of things were

But don’t get me wrong Darling
Lots of things were beautiful
And I’m not sorry
I loved you I do still
I told you I always will
And that piece of what we had was bigger than anything I ever got to touch before
What we made on the floor
All of it taught me about love
About how to love better
How to be better
And god I learnt
I did
So did you

But now I need to learn I am worth choosing
Even if it is difficult to do so
I need to know I am worth it all
I need to know I am worth more
Everything even
In the least I need to know I am worth dinner

And there would come a time I’d have to go
When for so long I wouldn’t even cheat on you
I couldn’t
Which is ironic really
But if you can’t give me your life
Then I can’t give you mine
Do you know how much I had to grow just to tell you that?
Do you know I just cried at the thought
That someone somewhere sometime
Would take me on a date
Would want to make a life with me
Would choose me
And they would need me
To choose them too

You opened up your soul to mine
And I loved it
I loved you
I loved us
With everything I could
Even with everything I couldn’t give to you
For two years
But eventually it’s not enough
It’s not enough anymore
Just to love someone
When you can get away with it

So here’s a flower
And inside this flower is a poem
And inside this poem is my soul
And inside that is you
And inside you is two years unfolded
A love untold but to us
But I have to go Baby
And this goodbye is the last


i can never know everything. there’s always something out of reach, something hidden, something buried, something so breathtaking in uniqueness, and it hurts me. species have passed without an eye to see them, colours and scents and the feeling of extinct air faded away like they meant nothing. it breaks my soul apart. don’t even think about the universe, the curious fingertips of our galaxy feeling into the darkness to search for more of infinity. don’t think about our solar system, the stars’ dying light touching our hair or the millions of years-things-lives before us and away from us. the lost history of earth is enough to slither sorrow into my bones. i bow my head. i weep for what i and you and the future will never know.

i can never know everything. there’s always something out of reach, something hidden, something buried, something so breathtaking in its uniqueness, and it gives me hope. there’s growth. life changes, and the change lives in everything. nothing lasts forever, they say, and look up to the night sky to remember the moon before one day, their children’s children ask about the history of the silver firmament where the mighty ocean obeyed the glint of something further away then the new continents. it breaks my soul apart that we will never run out of secrets and discoveries. i’m not afraid that there will come a time when the shiver of new words and mysteries settling into your mind through the pages of a book or a whispered tale or fingers drawing in the mud is unknown to humanity. history doesn’t run out of ink. it may change the font and go from black to blue or emerald, but the new chapters will always, always come out.

there are locked chests and hidden waterfalls, tree houses and underwater trenches and bird nests and old books. there are first steps and a new touch of fingers against yours and a million ways of getting out of bed so you can stand up to the sunrise and whisper: today, i want to hear a new story.

i lift my head. there is no need to cry.
we can never know everything.

—  because curiosity did not kill the cat but made a key instead
You know why letting go hurts so much? It’s because you have to make a choice. You’re in a dire situation to make the choice of throwing away a person who became a part of you. You’re putting away a piece of you and keeping it in the past. That piece of you will not be present in your future. It won’t be a part of you any longer. The only thing you’ll carry with you are the memories of that dear piece that meant more than life itself. It was your happiness, it was your everything. Now you have to imagine life without it and honestly, why would you make this choice knowing it will only hurt again? Well you make this choice because you know you’re hurting at the moment. This pain has brought you nothing but melancholy and despair. This pain hurts more than the pain that will come after making the choice. This wound has brought more pain than the one that comes in the process of healing. This pain is permanent and the only way you can truly make it go is if you CHOOSE to feel the pain of letting go. If you choose to let go, if you choose to heal yourself from the pain you’re feeling right now, then you must make the decision of putting yourself through a little more pain by letting him go. Let him live his life, let yourself detach from him, let him out and never let him back in. Go live your life. Live everyday without him because your life continues without him. It will hurt no matter what, just know that the pain you’re feeling right now is much worse than the pain you’ll feel when you’ve already let him go. Choose wisely. Choose to let him go once and for all.
Fave Bleach female characters

Yoruichi Shihoin

“Having a little trouble? Girls these days are all talk and no muscle.“

Originally posted by animination

Rukia Kuchiki

"I know the loneliness of being a prisoner. I know the joy you feel when your friends come to rescue you and the fear of them being injured and defeated.”

Originally posted by lovely-ruki

Sode no Shirayuki

“Truth is, we Zanpakutō are nothing but weapons meant for fighting. Maybe, beneath it all, we do lack heart. Without your heart to guide me, I’m just a simple tool of destruction."’

Originally posted by scuishland

Orihime Inoue

“Maybe it’s impossible to feel exactly the same way as another person, but it’s possible for people to care about one another and to place their hearts as close together as they can manage. I’m sure that’s what it means to make your hearts as one.”

Originally posted by bleachallmysoul

Karin Kurosaki

“From now on, it’s my turn to protect my brother.“

Originally posted by exwiires

Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck

"One who possesses reason should require a reason to fight.”

Originally posted by pinkthingsandvideogames

Tier Harribel

“I don’t want to become stronger through the power I gain by killing and sacrificing another. If I can’t win alone, then I’ll win as a group.”

Originally posted by absolutely-not-kira

Rangiku Matsumoto

“You always disappear without telling me where you’re going. It seems you haven’t changed one bit.”

Originally posted by life-isnt-that-sweet

Yachiru Kusajishi

“Of course! No matter who the opponent is, Ken-chan won’t ever lose!”

Originally posted by jiajia2011

Kukaku Shiba

"Been a while since we’ve talked like this, my friend. Lucky for you, I enjoy danger.”

Originally posted by tenkaichibudokai


New kids on the block!

I meant to draw a little celebration back when we learned the names of the new characters in Episode 7, but hit a bit of an art block, along with holiday madness, and never really finished it… :<

But didn’t want to end the year without trying to push through! I can’t wait to meet these guys in 2015!!

You’re an idol and you get shipped with them (B1A4)

Y/S/N= your ship name

JinYoung: -It started out as you randomly hangout one day and it soon became daily. Which quickly lead to rumors then your ship name was born. Idol life meant nothing was hidden so hanging out soon became hard without people thinking you were together- “Y/N would it even be that bad if we were dating. I mean Y/S/N sounds rather cute right?”

Originally posted by lottew0rld

Sandeul: -you guys had been dating for roughly a week without any major problems. Soon enough everyone would know you were together but even now you played dumb when Y/S/N was had become rather common to hear about.- “babe have you thought about getting shirts made with #Y/S/N on them. I think they’d be cute and flying off the shelves rather fast”

Originally posted by pinkoholik

CNU: -Instagram got the whole Y/S/N started. Your group had recently moved to a new dorm and you were giving a tour of your room and Dongwoo came into view calling him ‘modern art’ before continuing your tour. Most people found it funny and cute that you guys hung out others were mad for the same reason. But in the end you guys played cute and innocent really well- “Y/N can I just move in I’m here way to much and a decent portion of my wardrobe is too”

Originally posted by lee-sandeul

Baro: -you guys went to a carnival together and only held hands so you wouldn’t lose each other and many pictures were taken apparently saying you were dating. You weren’t mad that they thought you were dating you were more mad that you couldn’t have a fun day with a friend without being blown out of proportion. Sunwoo made it his goal to cheer you up at that point- “come on Y/N this is our stuffed rabbit Y/S/N. I won it for you at the carnival and forgot to give it to you”

Originally posted by junghwannie

Gongchan: -no one knows how you met you both started showing up in each others pictures. Many of them were full of skinships and people loved it Y/S/N was a joke at first between the two of you but soon enough you guys called each other yeobo and couldn’t tell if you were being serious or not ‘yeobo look here and smile’- “are you still calling me yeobo I can’t tell if you mean it or your just being cute”

Originally posted by milkshik

anonymous asked:

I was in a situationship (apparently this is the term for us) )with this guy i met over winter break. A week of talking , he left for college so we were in a long distance relationship. It was never official or labeled but it was exclusive. Both of us have busy lives and it was hard for us to facetime or even text often. He told me it was stagnant and wanted it to end. i really liked him.. he let the distance be an excuse for losing feelings. I feel more angry than sad and im not sure why.

You are angry because although it wasn’t made an official relationship you still held onto the hopes that it could be.

You wanted things to work and that distance would mean nothing and your relationship meant everything.

You are angry because you grew attached without even knowing it yourself. You are angry because you wanted him to want you no matter how difficult it may be.

In one minute.

In one minute, it will be another day. Another day that I’ve gone without you yet thought about you. Another day.. to add to the number of days it’s been that I have not heard your voice. I can’t help but wonder if I really meant nothing to you at all or if you only pretended to care because you were bored. In another minute.. there will be another day to add to the number of days since I last heard your voice.. and I can’t bear the thought of that number growing even more. In another minute.. it will be yet another day where I’ve loved you.. and yet another day where I never even crossed your mind.


~Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #231


11:59 pm

@wanderingtycho replied to your post “@wanderingtycho replied to your post: …”

I guess we just have irreconcilable stances on this subject, and that’s fine, the last thing I want is a prolonged argument with anyone. Hopefully our polarized views continue to serve us as well as they have so far, if nothing else I respect that you stand by your assertions and recognize that more people agree with you than me.

Sorry this took a little longer than the others to reply to, my power went out, but I didn’t want to seem like I was just cutting you off without sorta “ending” the discussion.

A lot of the things I post that are personal or on subjects other than my writing or Undertale aren’t meant to be soapboxes I stand on to sway others opinions, and I apologize if it came off that way. They’re just thoughts I have that I need to get out of my system.

I don’t agree with your stance on the subject and, like you say, that’s fine. Expecting everyone to think the same way about something is not only ridiculous, but impossible, and I know why you probably think the way you do since I thought the same once upon a time.

But I’m not in the business of changing other’s opinions. I’m just a guy who says shit on the internet.

what people without this disorder really tend to have trouble understanding is that everything in my life is in black and white. they’ll get mad at me for taking things the wrong way, “putting words in their mouth” or “over reacting”, but to me, this is exactly how I should react. with bpd, there is no grey area in any situation. with bpd, all my extreme reactions make sense to me because when you said this one negative thing, you clearly meant that you hate me and think I’m worthless. my brain does not work the same way yours do. I’m not intentionally trying to be “dramatic” or turn nothing into something, I have a disorder that makes it almost impossible to see this grey area, where things aren’t only one extreme or the other. when I lash out it’s out of fear. the small things you say I’m blowing out of proportion are often the ones that cause me to react the worst, because without things being explained with Evidence™, it’s easier for my mind to “take it the wrong way”. by telling me I’m being ridiculous or that I need to calm down, you’re invalidating the emotions that I cannot help but experience because of bpd. you are making me feel like I do not have a right to be upset when in my mind I am being told I am hated or that I don’t matter.

I realize people without this disorder physically cannot comprehend what black and white thinking is like, but please try to be patient with us and help us out the best you can. try your best to understand that things are almost always going to be “taken the wrong way” because we are programmed to be hypervigilant for signs of abandonment and the way we react is often out of extreme panic and distress. please do not get mad at us for how comprehend things. instead, try your best to explain what it is you really mean and what you don’t mean. I understand this can be frustrating, but we live our life in these extremes and by reminding yourself that we struggle with seeing the middle ground in situations, you may help both of us out more than you think

Dear Love,

The moment I saw you, I was doomed. I was lost and I thought I would find myself, but somehow I lost myself even more. You did nothing but it meant everything to me. I fell for you more with every gaze and you got more loyal to her with every word. I have never felt this way before and I know, I will never desire anyone as much as I wanted you. You made me feel so much without actually caring for me, and I couldn’t stop myself from dreaming what would it be like if you actually cared. I got sucked into a fantasy world and lost contact with reality. I was obsessed with you. I was addicted to you. So I replaced one addiction with another and found relief in my old ways. It cured me for a while, because I was numb. I barely remember anything from the last year. I made bad decisions. And even worst action. I didn’t care because every decision I made was connected to you. I was going insane so there was no logic in my actions. I became friends with people I hate because they were close to you. I acted like I like random people to get your attention. I blamed her but the problem was me. Even if you weren’t hers, you would never be mine. Facing reality was harder than getting sober. Living with the feeling of having you, without ever actually having you, made me lose my mind. I can’t cry anymore. I can’t live with your dream anymore. I’m overwhelmed by fighting for you and living this love alone. I thought nothing would be too much when it comes to you, but my affection is more than I can handle. I need to stop loving you so I can start loving myself again. Because I can’t do both. I’m so focused on you that I keep forgetting about myself. You made me forget my own. There cannot be anything worse than losing respect and love to yourself. I know, because I haven’t asked myself anything since the moment I saw you. All my life was centered around you. Now I know the fine line between loving someone and being obsessed with someone. The minute I crossed that line, I became someone I dislike. I don’t know who I am anymore and it is too sad to live like this. I really wish you gave me the chance to love you freely, but you didn’t let me live this, ‘once in a life time’ feeling. You did everything to kill it, although I fought like a warrior. Unfortunately, now I am worn out. Emotinally and mentally unstable. Going through self hate and self harm. I’m close to death more than I’m close to your heart, and for the first time it scares me. I cannot waste away my life this way. At least not anymore. These lines are my closure to move on. Starting over a life without your eyes, your smile, your dream and my love for you. A life without you…


A letter I would send him, but I prefer to post it because he doesn’t care. This is my version of ending a chapter. Bye love.

myownsaviour  asked:

OH MY FREAKING - that vampire/angel fic you wrote is beyond amazing I am so in love!!!!!!! I love that you gave an overused trope such a brilliant twist and I love how you write Minho and Taemin ❤ it's been a long time since i enjoyed a 2min fic so thank you ❤

why do you praise me so much I’m not worthy of this omg ;;;

this means one hell lot - no, two hells lot for me, because I started writing that without really committing myself to the story, just to pass time and free my head from some headcanons - and when I came to, I realized I was way too attached to it already. 

it’s meant to be a simple piece, nothing to write about, so having it associated with ‘amazing’ and ‘brilliant’ is beyond my expectations and what my heart can take - thank you so so much! ;A; ♡♡♡