they had frogs and everything

This is exactly the response I was hoping for - it is SUCH a silly name that it doesn’t sound real. But yes, it is, and it was discontinued pretty shortly after it was made so you can only get it off of Ebay (which JULIA DID BC SHE’S THE BEST) but it is a lot of fun. 

anonymous asked:

Can I request for a scenario where the bros are turned into frogs during a daemon encounter but ran out of Maiden's Kiss and they panicked. S/O then decided to take the term in a *literal* sense and just picked them up and placed a kiss on their heads. (Cos why the hell not, right? Worth a try! It could be a magic kiss!) Boys then looked dumbfounded when they returned to their normal selves and s/o just smiled sheepishly.

Funfact, I’m afraid of frogs! Like just horrified at them! So you can guess how silly this will be! ~(^з^)-☆

~~~~~~~~~

You barely dodged in time as the magic was tossed your way. Turing to laugh at the deamon’s poor aim, only to find that it had turned tail and run while your group was distracted by the magic being tossed. Only to turn as you heard a croak, one of the guys was transformed into a frog!

Turning to the 4 men behind you, you quickly counted and found that it was your boyfriend who was now a frog, and you were out of Maiden’s Kiss, with no money or a town close enough to get some.

“Great.”

~~~~~~

Noctis

“Noct, sweetie.” You cooed, managing to jump on you hopping boyfriend. Clasping the small frog to your chest, as his large blue eyes bounced around turning toward the group, hoping that you were wrong about your currently Maiden’s Kiss problem. “Ignis…”

“I do apologize, y/n, but we are out. We never restocked, my apologies.”

You looked down to the frog in your hands, “I can’t have a frog as a boyfriend. What if I accidentally smush him!”

“Hey think of it this way, at least he’s more charming.” Gladiolus chuckled, as the frog in your hands gave an angry hiss in the shield’s direction. “Don’t get mad at me Frog Prince.”

“That’s it!” Prompto gasped, as everyone turned to him, “Y/N why don’t you kiss him?”

“You think that would work?” You blinked, looking back to the blue eyes staring at you from the dark green skin.

“Worth a try.”

You shrugged, as you held Noctis up, pressing your lips to his head, pulling him back as he stared at you with those large blue eyes. A pout formed on your lips, as you pulled him forward again to your lips, than away to look and see if it worked.  Forward, away, forward, away, each time hoping the man would be back to his normal self.

“Why!” kiss “Isn’t!” kiss “It!” kiss “Working!” kiss

The other 3 stared at you, you must have looked absolutely ridiculous kissing this frog in what was once the middle of a battlefield. Yet you absolutely refuse to cuddle up to a frog for the next few days.

You also didn’t have any flies, and Noctis was already a picky eater, there would be no way that he would eat flies.

“Y/n, I don’t think it’s going to work.” Prompto stated, after your 23rd kiss to your frog/boyfriend.

You turned determined eyes to the blonde, “It’s going to!” Only to gasp at the sudden weight in your hands, only for your body to collapse as Noctis when from frog to man, laughing as you pointed toward Prompto, “Told ya!”

“What just happened?”  Noctis called in confusion.

~~~~~

Prompto

“You aren’t serious, there’s no way.” You protested, crossing your arms, as Prompto, at least frog Prompto sat on the boulder before you.

“I mean it’s call Maiden’s Kiss.” Noctis stated as you cut your eyes to him.

“That sounds like Prompto reasoning.” You stated before leaning at the waist to the large boulder your small froggy boyfriend perched on. “Are you sure he’s not poisonous?”

“Why would he be poisonous?” Gladiolus asked, arms crossed over his chest as you motioned toward the yellow strip on Prompto’s side. “Just kiss the runt, so we can see if it works.”

You pouted standing up straight as you turned to Noctis, “Well go for it.”

Noctis gave a confused noise, “What, why me?”

“Face it Noct, you’re more maiden than me.”

“I am not!”

You glanced toward the Prince than away, “Tsk, about that….”

“Y/N, kiss Prompto.”

You threw up your hands, leaning over at the waist, “Fine whatever, don’t blame me if he turns into a half man half frog creature because someone didn’t want to kiss their best friend! Pucker up buttercup.”

Froggy Prompto let out a little chirp of a wail, as he lept to his hind legs, placing his little webbed forelimbs against your face as he pressed his face against your lips. Only to quickly poof back into the blonde.

“Well hell, it worked, guess I am a maiden.” You gasped, before turning to Prompto, “Were you poisonous?”

“No?”

“Good.”

~~~~~

Gladiolus

“Oh gods, oh gods! Sweet Astrals above, please!” You cried to the heavens as your large boyfriend, who was sitting before you. Not so much sitting as he was crouching, out of everything it had to have been a stupid frog, and you had just passed through a town and forgot to get Maiden’s Kiss.

“Are you okay?” Prompto asked, as you flailed wildly.

“No, Gladiolus turned to a frog! A frog out of everything!” You cried, as the other three watched you run away from the large frog hopping after you. “Gladdy, baby, I know you’re upset, but you’re so gross right now.”

Noctis scooped up his shield, as you physically had to stop yourself from dry heaving from him touching it, “Doesn’t look any different than normal.”

Prompto agreed, “He actually looks better this way.”

The frog in question glared at the two younger man laughing at his expense, before turning his eyes to you only to find you had seeked shelter behind Ignis, you were never one to run from a fight.

“Ignis, what do we do?” You whined hiding behind the tall man, it wasn’t like you to be playing the cute damsel, but something about frogs…

“Well, should you be without Maiden’s Kiss, an actual Maiden’s kiss should suffice.”

All eyes turned to you as you screamed, “Noooo, please! It’s a frog.”

“What’s so bad about a frog?” Noctis asked, as held Gladiolus toward you.

You turned away from the frog and Prince as if a child turning from food stopping another dry heave, “They’re gross, and slimey.”

“It’s actually mucus.” Ignis stated.

“Not helping!” You cried, as you tried to move further away.

“Just close your eyes, and give him a quick peck.” Prompto cheered.

Closing your eyes, you leaned forward, when something in your body, something made you peek one eye open, and at that exact moment Gladiolus decide to let out the loudest, grossest, croak. A scream escaped you, and you swung down hard, knocking Gladiolus from Noctis’ hold, with the slap.

“Why would you do that! Asshole!” You screamed in horror at the frog on the ground, making a noise you could only perceive as laughter. “Noct, please pick him up again.”

“Are you going to smack him out of my hands again?” Noctis asked, he had only managed to let go of the frog just in time as he saw your upswing.

“No, no I promise, just on the count of 3 push him forward. Ignis count.” You whined closing your eyes, as you puckered your lips.

“1, 2…”

“No! Oh my gods, Ignis stop!” You cried, “You’re counting too fast. Just like give me time.”

“Apologies, 1,”

“3!” Prompto called, as Noctis shoved Gladiolus to your face, the top of his head connecting with your lips.

A scream escaped you, as Gladiolus puffed back into his tall 6 foot 6 form,  “All right, thanks babe.”

“Don’t you ‘Thanks babe’ me, Oh my gods, I kissed a frog. I’m going to get warts!” You shriek, wiping your mouth.

Gladiolus chuckled, “Right you’re afraid of frogs” He barely dodged the rock thrown at him.

~~~~~

Ignis

It must have been a comical sight to your traveling partners, you crouched over, holding Ignis’ glasses in one hand, currently chasing after a frog and trying to catch it with the other, calling out to it, as if to have a one sided conversation.

“Ignis, Ignis, my love, yes, I know it’s insulting. Darling, I’m sorry, we are unfortunately out of Maiden’s Kiss.”

A croak, just as the lean frog managed to leap out the way of your hands again.

“Please, Iggy, the sooner we get to the car the sooner we can fix this.” Croak, “Ignis, I understand that you’re upset but,” Croak, “Should it make you feel better I can drive, is that fine Noctis?”

“Yeah, whatever.” Noctis called back, still staring at you with the other two, chasing after your boyfriend, trying to convince him to stop jumping around.

“See, it’s just a two day drive to the next,” Ribbit! “I know, I know you don’t want to be a frog for two days, but what other choice do we have?”

Prompto cupped his hands over his mouth, shouting to you further in the field. “You can kiss him.”

“What?” Everyone else inquired, as they turned to the blonde as if his hair actually did become a Chocobo.

Prompto shrugged, “I mean stupider stuff has worked.”

You finally managed to drape your handkerchief over your boyfriend, before picking him up as you knelt on the ground, “We have nothing else to lose, darling.” You replied, before pressing your lips to the man’s head, gasping as he puffed, quickly putting him to the ground.

“Holy shit, it worked!” Prompto gasped.

“Interesting.” Ignis stated checking himself over, making sure all his limbs were there and rightfully intact.

You giggled softly, reaching up to remove your handkerchief from his head, handing him his glasses, “Are you feeling okay, darling?”

Ignis stood, placing his glasses back on, before helping you to stand, “Simply Ribbiting, my dear.”

3

My Daddy never did get what he wanted. But he had what he needed. He had love. He never lost sight o’ what was really important. And neither will I.

For my friend PC (@p1nk-d0m0), Happy Birthday!!! I love ya(´∀`)♡

Lemony Snicket's Commentary in 'The New American Haggadah'

On ‘The Four Sons’:

Some scholars believe there are four kinds of parents as well.

The Wise Parent is an utter bore. “Listen closely, because you are younger than I am,” says the Wise Parent, “and I will go on and on about Jewish history, based on some foggy memories of my own religious upbringing, as well as an article in a Jewish journal I have recently skimmed.” The Wise Parent must be faced with a small smile of dim interest.

The Wicked Parent tries to cram the story of our liberation into a set of narrow opinions about the world. “The Lord let us out of Egypt,” the Wicked Parent says, “which is why I support a bloodthirsty foreign policy and I’m tired of certain types of people causing problems.” The Wicked Parent should be told with a firm voice: “With a strong hand God rescued the Jews from bondage, but it was my own clumsy hand that spilled hot soup in your lap.”

The Simple Parent does not grasp the concept of freedom. “There will be no macaroons until you eat all of your brisket,” says the Simple Parent at a dinner honoring the liberation of oppressed peoples. “Also, stop slouching at the table.” In answer to such statements, the Wise Child will roll his eyes in the direction of the ceiling and declare: “Let my people go.”

The Parent Who Is Unable to Inquire has had too much wine and should be excused from the table.

Keep reading

By the Lake (Fred Weasley x Reader)

And there you were , throwing rocks to the big floating mirror at that pitch black night , you didn’t even remember how you had gotten there , you just sorted of vanish and appeared there , and it was okay , you just needed to chill a bit , but then it started , the crying again , fuck it you were exhausted , scared and kind of grumpy ; But why? Well since your school year started it had been an upsidedown rollercoaster , it was all her fault , that sinister pink fat frog faced Umbridge.

She had canceled , or prohibited everything ! Was even quidditch legal still? You couldn’t walked near your best male friends and you didn’t had lots of girlfriends so it was a lonely time for you , and the worst thing , when Professor Trelawny was expelled you kind of started to pounder how long would it take this bitch to put your little mudblood booty far from Hogwarts , it give you nightmares just to think about it.

-Y/N - You heard a whispering voice call you name as you raise your wand with a little spark to see who it was

Fred?! What the heck are you doing here?

-I saw you-he said as he showed you the marauders map- Its not a good time to be alone at night-he chuckles.

-I know , sorry -you smiled-i just feel kind of caged in my dorm sometimes.

-Were you crying? Do I have to kick somebody’s ass?

-Of course not , I was just sweating from my eyes you arse-you smiled as you cleaned the last tears and looked back to you friend-Were is George?

-He is out of service right now -he grinned- you gotta conform yourself with just one handsome twin this time-you both laugh- But really what are you doing here?

You felt the pressure aching in you chest so you explode , you tell him everything your fears of been expulsed , oh my good Hogwarts was your home you said as you hold in your fist your house scarf , you told him how you missed Professor Trelawney nonsense as he smiled and make some sarcastic comments , “yeah she was kind of hot” he said as you punched him , “of course she was” you both laugh again and as the air got tinner you chuckle -I missed you two so much.

He smiled not a sarcastic one , not a grin he gave you one of those real and heartful smiles he would give you sometimes -I’ve miss you too-he said as he put his arms on your shoulders - But you are so silly if you think that Frog Faced Bitch is gonna through you out of here , not in a million years-he smiled again whole heartly- You’re a magnificent student , the most wonderful witch I’ve ever know , like your patronus must be a unicorn or an angel something like that-he started to ramble- Hogwarts would be empty , what do I am even saying -he started to yell-it would be crushed , it would vanish! -you started to smiled as he picked the tears that went down your cheeks- it’d loose all meaning without sweet Y/N here.

-What would I do without you -you laugh.

-I don’t know , but am sure you couldn’t d this -he said as he swiftly took your cheeks and leave a little kiss on your lips-You are not going anywhere , Unless you are coming with me.

You laugh as you heard of his great plans and as you kissed again Umbridge didn’t seem so terrible anymore.

Originally posted by behindpotterscenes

This Means War. Part three.

Other MMFD Fanfics by me- HERE

This Means War. 

Comedy.
Set the summer after their first year of college is over. 
The gang get into a pranking war.

Previously…..

• Part One • Part Two • 

……

This Means War. Part Three.

……

This was hilarious.

Funnier than walking in on my Mum covered head to toe in green slime. Maybe.

Once she had rung Mrs Peters, Mum had jumped in the shower and I kid you not. Just as she had gotten dressed Chop was ringing the door bell with his Dad.

Mr Peters had gone a gotten his son from his flat, I wish I could of seen that. Oh man.

Finn, you need to come round” I didn’t bother whispering into the phone as Mum made Chop strip down to his boxers. She wasn’t taking any chances that he had something else up his sleeve. Literally.

“Keep your eyes to yourself Raemundo

“Is something wrong?” Finn rushed out before adding “Wait, was that Chop?”

“Get here now Finn, you need to see this”

I didn’t wait for a reply and just hung up the phone to call Archie. I was going to call everyone.

They had to see this.

Every single one of them.

It was important.

“Is that really necessary?” He growled “Didn’t even get you, did it?”

“Such a twat” I stuck my tongue out at him and continued to call the gang.

“No time for standing around Arnold” Mum threw a pair of bright yellow rubber gloves at him “I don’t want to see one spot of that green stuff in this house again”

Sighing he just sat on the floor with crossed legs and began to clean up the blobs.

In his underpants.

Did I mention that they had The Muppets on them? Kermit the frog and everything. Fucking Hilarious.

Looking at my bedside table,at the things that cluttered it while he was moaning under his breath by the door.

“Oh my god” I whispered. I hope that he didn’t hear that.

This was probably not a good idea. He was going to throw his slime at me. Worth it.

I slowly bent down and opened the cupboard door, not taking my eyes off of Chop as I did.

Once my hand fell on what I had they been searching for I could not help but smile. Yes.

Before I could stop myself I loaded a new film into the polaroid camera and snapped a picture of Chop bent over, scrapping at the carpet, with his The Muppet underpants on and those yellow gloves. This is fucking epic.

“What the fuck” he jumped up once he realised that a flash had gone off “What was that?” he demanded pointing at me with his marigolds.

He looked like a right twat.

I hope everyone hurries up so that they can witness this in real life. This picture is not going to do it justice.

Just as I thought that, the doorbell rang downstairs.

“Who’s that?” Chop went a little pale.

“Hopefully everyone” I told him laughing. But really. I bloody hope it was everyone.

“This ain’t fair” he moaned and kicked the washing up bowl Mum had provided him with.

“Why have you stopped!” Mum screamed from the baby’s room “ARNOLD!" 

"This isn’t over!” he glared at me.

“You just did this” I waved at the greenness “I think you will find it is not over”

“What does that mean?” he wasn’t looking at me, and was now back to the job my Mum had given him.

“It means that you should be…afraid” I laughed.

“I only did this cause you ruined the cake I had bought for you guys” He bought that cake, for us?

“That was not my fault” I huffed “How many times do I have to tell you Finn and Archie where playing football and it hit me, which made me fall over!”

“Your just saying that”

“Am I fuck”

“Why did you run off then?”

“Cause Finn told me to get away, that this had happened before”

At this a evil smile, which would of terrified any small child who saw it graced his face “Oh yeah” he nodded “That was fun”

“Well, its over Chop, No more pranks for me!”

“Nope”

“What do you mean nope?” Is he serious.

“If I am pranked I will prank”

“Twat”

“You should watch out though”

“Why?” I huffed and threw a balled up piece of paper that was on my bed at him.

“Cause if it was, like you say, and it wa’ Archie and Finn who started all of this” Oh God “Then they are next”

This is never going to end is it?

On my grave stone it will read ’Died due to a pranking war

……

Once every one, except Finn had left, and the house was now back in order and slime free I had to come up with something to do back at Chop.

Something which would not result in me scrubbing his carpet and walls in my underwear.

When he left Mum told him he was banned for life from stepping foot in this house. It wouldn’t last more than a couple of weeks, we all knew that, but it was pretty funny to see the look on his face.

“I did warn yah” Finn sighed as his fingers ran through the ends of my hair “Can’t believe he did that”

“It was kind of good though”

“If it weren’t in your house” He nodded in agreement.

“Exactly”

“This picture is incredible” he laughed.

It had now taken pride of place next to my photo of the gang, from the night I first met them.

It was that which gave me the idea to take the photo of him in the first place.

It was too much of a good opportunity not too.

Especially when Finn had left the camera at mine last week, with the new film he had got.

“I’ll have to get all of the gang copies somehow” It really was epic.

“You could photocopy em or go down to that photo shop down the high street and get them to do it, might be expensive though”

Oh my god.

That is what I could do!

“Finn” I kissed him on the lips “You’re a genius!” A sexy mother fucking genius. Yes.

“What?” He laughed but not before kissing me a little longer. Damn him.

“Mum” I shouted across the hall. Not answering Finn.

“What?”

“Come here”

“For fuck sake Rae” she moaned before walking into my room with a pile of clean clothes in her arms “What?”

“How opposed are you to me getting Chop back for today?”

She thought for a moment.

The silence was worrying me.

Please don’t say no.

Please don’t ban me from pranking him, because I will break it and you will go mental. Just say yes.

“As long as no harm comes to me, Jazz or the house and I don’t get a phone call to pick you up from the police station I am fine with it, why?” Police station?

“Cause I have had an idea, Well Finn” I nudged my shoulder with his “Gave me a idea”

“What?” He said.

“But?” Mum spoke with both of her hands on her hips.

“But I might need your help”

……

“He is going to kill you” Chloe laughed. And yet your helping me? Piss of Chloe.

“He deserves it for what he did”

“Pretty funny though”

“I’m just glad it didn’t happen to me”

“Oh my god, imagine!” she shivered “All of that slime in your long hair!” It would of taken six bottle of shampoo to get it out. Lucky me Mum has short hair really. Well shorter than mine.

“I would of killed him then, and be doing something much, much worse than sticking photocopies of the polaroid I took of him all over the high street”

It would of been better, the picture would of been a better quality if I could of got proper copies done but I had no money of my own.

So I had to deal with the copies Mum had been sneakily making at work over the last two days for me.

She was more up for this than any of us I think.

All of the gang, except Izzy was in on it.

She would have blabbed in about two seconds, and not just because he was her boyfriend. Just because her mouth and brain don’t work together sometimes.

We had to make sure Chop didn’t find out before we had stuck them all, everywhere.

I was kind of happy that I wasn’t doing this on my own, because It meant that it wasn’t just me he was going to be getting back. Hopefully.

There was no doubt in my mind that he would be pranking all of us for this. I would if it was me.

He had already told me was going to be pranking Finn and Archie. Nothing had happened yet. Yet. 

“And the Pub, and gym” I added.

“Don’t forget the park” Chloe snickered. That had been her idea.

Chop and his under pants were on pretty much every lamp post and bench in the entire park.

“Think Finn has even gone and put some in the news agents by Chops place” Amazing.

“Oh my god” Chloe pulled my arm, making me drop the few copies I had left in my hand onto the floor to look around the corner.

“What you laughing at?” Chop and Izzy! Oh god.

He was shouting at a bunch of lads who were pointing and laughing at him. Holy shit.

Izzy, who was stood looking a little scared besides him spotted me and Chloe and quickly ran over. Chop didn’t even notice.

He didn’t notice because he had grabbed one of the lads by the collar with one hand and in the other one of the other lads ,who had been laughing had given him one of the photocopies.

Oh my god.

“Whats going on” Izzy asked.

I could not take my eyes off of her boyfriend though.

One second his face dropped as he realised why people were laughing at him and then the next, he looked mad. Really fucking mad. He really is going to kill me! Bollocks.

“Oh my god” Izzy had obviously seen mine and Chlo’s work of art on the brick wall.

Chops head turned, looking for his girlfriend.

When he didn’t see her where she had last been he quickly scanned the crowd.

Quicker than I would have liked it to of happened, his eyes fell on the three of us. Oh fucking hell.

“You” He was too far away to actually hear, but you cold not miss what he was saying.

“Rae” Chloe grabbed my hand while Izzy was worridly looking back and forth.

Once he had let go of the lads collar he only had to take one step towards us before we ran away. All in different directions.

Why is Izzy running away? She had nothing to do with this.

“THIS MEANS WAR!!!!!!!!!” He screamed as I ran down the alley way between Oxfam and Woolworths.

Holy shit.

What have I done?

……