they dont fit in the car

A few things about Andrew Minyard,,

- he makes other people tie his shoelaces for him
- hes a blanket monster, doesn’t even leave Neil the sheet ok, poor kid has to sleep in sweatpants and a hoodie in the winter
- secretly does a lot of research about it and only buys the best quality food for the cats
- he’s the only person in his apartment building that ever buys girls scout cookies but he always buys enough to make it worth their time stopping by, he has like 20 boxes of thin mints stashed in the freezer at all times
- he uses an electric toothbrush but it’s like a cheap ninja turtles one from target
- cooks and cleans but DOES NOT do dishes, he will literally let them pile up to the ceiling and then when there’s none left that are clean, if no one else does them, he’ll just throw them all away and go buy new ones
- (eventually they discover paper plates and plastic silverware)
- hates horror movies (not because they’re scary, it’s because they’re predictable)
- Neil is the first person (besides Andrew) to realize Andrew needs reading glasses, and he makes him get some and Andrew carries them with him all the time but only uses them when he absolutely has to
- “I dont need glasses, i dont want to see your ugly face”
- “shut up and try them on or I’m selling the car and buying a minivan.”
- he only does autographs for his kid fans
- once he gets on his pro team people (kevin and nicky) keep pushing him to dress in more colors instead of just black all the time so he gets a bunch of neon armbands and wears a different set every day,, hot pink,, lime green,, fucking yellow, obscenely bright orange,,, other than that his wardrobe doesn’t change
- learned how to sew when he was younger because none of his clothes ever fit right and he always has to make adjustments
- has a savings account that he puts money into every chance he gets and whenever neil asks about it he pulls these random excuses out of his ass (“it’s for candy”, “I’m gonna hire someone to hide your body after I kill you”, “I almost have enough to buy out Exites so that I can shut it down permanently") but it’s actually for the foxes’ kids

anonymous asked:

🔥 about how strong Tim is? Like, people who've seen your blog know that you like a muscled Timmers.

Tiny Tim is TUFF yo. Tiny and Buff! And very very stronk okay? Like legitimately I full on believe that Tim is one of those people that’s like, “Yeah he’s toned and fit” and then he lifts and car and its like “BOI. Where’d that Herculean strength come from?!” Also…. he is usually portrayed as having muscle mass? Tim is not a slim jim! Sure compared to Jason and Bruce (who are tanks) Tim might look slight, but I dont know where people developed this “Tim is underweight and skinny” headcanon from?

Keep reading

I take a very long walk.

-I find a dead robin in a black goo phase of decay. I dig a small hole on the spot and bury it.
-I find a sunbleached spine of a roadkill possum. I bag it.
-I find another possum, this one is a pancake. The bones have been run into dust, I take the one remaining canine.
-There are three vultures circling further ahead in a field, I follow them - there is nothing there. They move on and so do I.
-I find a bunch of Grizzlies snuff tin cans…I bag them because I am weak for bears.
-Lots of beer cans, I bag those too - gimme my 40 cents a pound~
-I find a water-filled ditch with a rotting armadillo in it. It is mostly clean…just gooey…I bag the head, as the other bones have been washed away.
-The vultures are back, they circle me curiously, likely drawn by the smell of the rotting armadillo. They move on ahead and disappear.
-I follow a trail of aluminum cans to a wooded area with a small creek, there is some sort of partial canine or feline skeleton in the creek bed, fully nature cleaned. It had brown fur, I bag the skeleton, I do not find the skull.
-Near by is  bunch of possum verts…I bag them too.
-Dead possum, Gross phase of rot where the fur falls out when you touch it. I leave it there. I will return for the bones later.
-*Ape noises as I spy nature cleaned squirrel skull under some leaves*
-There is a random trail in the middle of the woods that does not connect to the road or to a house….I wander into the woods to follow it, hoping it is a hunters dumping site. It leads to a leaf cluttered clearing that is void of any noise except the danger bark of a squirrel…I promptly leave.
-I stop at some strangers house for water….It smells and tastes like rasberries…10/10 water.
-The vultures have returned, they circle a field, one breaks off and lands in a tree in front of me. It leaps to a tree further into the woods, then back to me. I follow it curiously.
-Thorns! Thorns everywhere! I am beginning to suspect this vultures motive was to make me bleed to death so it could eat me….
-It leads me to a junk pile of concrete and car engine parts. Nearby is a freshly dead armadillo, there is a hole in its neck and it’s rear where the vultures ate from it….It seems to have been shot… There is a green long sleeve shirt right next to it.
The shirt says “Just Do it!”
The shirt fits me perfectly…

subtle charm for your window

i recently came up with an idea for a simple charm/spell that im gonna share here step for step. it can be used for any intention, and can be put on any glassy surface.


the two most important things youll need are window paint like this

youll need one for the outlines (i have a black one here) and for coloring the inside you can use as many colors as you want. these are usually available in any art supply store or even really basic stores for school and crafts supplies for children (i think theyre not more than 2$ per tube usually but not sure)

then youll also need a sheet protector (the things you use for keeping papers and documents and stuff) like this

apart from those two things, all you need is stuff to help charge your charm, what you use for that is completely up to you- it can be herbs, spices, rocks, feathers, tarot cards, literally anything that you can fit into the sheet protector works. just pick some things that you have available and correspond with your intended purpose and youll be fine.

-

so first what you need to do is decide what image you want to use. it can be any animal, plant, object, symbol, it can even depict a person or deity. you dont really need artistic skills for this as long as the image you pick isnt too complicated.

all you gotta do then is paint your chosen image on the sheet protector

since i am making my charm for protection and warding off evil spirits, and they are also my favorite plants, i decided to go with a cactus as my image.

heres what it looks like when the outlines are done

this will take approximately an hour or a little more to dry (as you can see i put a sheet of paper inside the sheet protector. thats because i drew the cactus on the paper first so all id have to do is trace the lines, to make it easier)

after an hour of drying you can fill in the colors as well

then it should look like this (or hopefully yours will be prettier and not as messy as mine lmao)

once youre done painting your image, you can take all your ingredients you wanna charge it with into the sheet protector (i already did that in the above image). i used various herbs and spices, a cactus needle, a rune stone, and i also wrote my intention on a piece of paper and folded it up and put it in as well.

the finished painting will take around 24 hours to completely dry. simply let it sit with all the ingredients inside like that, and let it charge.

once the whole thing is dry, you can just pull the picture off of the plastic (it shouldnt be hard to do but it can rip if youre forceful) and then stick it to a window, or any glassy surface (you dont need any glue or whatever, these colors are specifically made for sticking to glass by themselves once theyre dry)

there you go! a simple charm that you can put on any glassy surface.

-

what i specifically like about this is

- that it can be used by closeted witches as well since no one will be suspicious about it, and even if someone asks about it you can just say its for decorative purpose.

- that you can use any motive that fits your purpose, be it a plant, animal, person, deity, symbol, etc. if you dont have to hide your craft you can even just flat out use a sigil

- you can charge it with anything you like, so if youre naturally more drawn to herbs you can just use that, or if you feel more comfortable using rocks, use those. anything that works for you, and fits into the sheet protector, will do just fine.

- it can fit many different purposes, depending on what you charge it with. for windows id suggest things that deal with either protection and warding, or things like inviting spirits/friendly people/customers/etc into you home, for mirrors you could use them to boost confidence/beauty/etc, or for car windows (in places where they dont have any impact on your view of course) they can be charged with safety, protecting you from accidents, or helping with quick rides and avoiding getting stuck in traffic. basically, whatever you can come up with, and whatever resonates with you, you can use.

-

if anyone wants to do this for themselves and decides to share it on here, feel free to tag me in it! id love to see what you guys do with it, and what you come up with.

oppaships  asked:

Bodyguard!Jooheon? 😊😊

  • tries to act like he isn’t scared of anything but the lights went out once and he legit jumped into fellow bodyguard shownu’s lap out of fear 
  • sneaks his headphones into his ears when he thinks no one is looking but everyone can tell he’s listening to music because he’s moving around weirdly and making faces and it’s hilarious
  • looks good in the fitted white button downs. occasionally wears sleek glasses and you’re like ,,,,,stop,,,,,but dont stop
  • sometimes jooheon will try bribe minhyuk into giving him his shift because jooheon wants to spend more time with you and minhyuk will tease him like “you like them~~~” and jooheon’s like “nOOO im just….trying to get more money you know more shift more money ahaha shut up minhyuk don’t look at me like that…..”
  • im whispering to shownu like “someone’s in dENIAL”
  • it cute tho jooheon is so oblivious to how lovestruck he looks when he’s around you like when he’s helping you get out of the car or when he pulls you close to him in a crowded area
  • and sure he’s a bit of a scardey cat but if anything looks dangerous he puts you behind him and is like “let me go first.” because he’d risk it for you
  • you’re used to seeing him wear a black hat but once in a while he’ll take it off and run his hands through his hair and jooheon with his hair up, a little sweaty because him and the other bodyguards chased someone, fanning himself and opening up the buttons of his shirt
  • like im j U S T sa Y I N g 
  • jooheon instinctively dancing if there’s music on and he grabs you to move with him and realizes what he’s done like oh OH IM so RRy but you just take his hand and lace your fingers with him and yes you two might be dancing in the middle of some important business conference
  • but you two are cute that’s what matters 

anonymous asked:

If you gif search 'raven reyes smile', there's a gif of her after her space walk and a gif of her driving a car, both times she just has this smile on that would just fit so well with the scene where maggie says "you two are fun" after alex and kara save her

OMGMFFNG YES YES I KNOW EXACTLY WHICH ONES UR TALKING ABT!! Fuuuuck thats so true 😭😭😭😭 i would gif it rn but i still dont have my computer w me

anonymous asked:

Re: that El anon...I haven't seen the photo Calvin posted yet but as someone who arrived in this mess in...oh god 2012 I think, she always looks somewhat pissed in photos. The only ones where she doesn't that I've seen are the ones from the first pap shot ever in that park or the ones for her blog with Max. Aka, when she isn't bearding. Just bc she has a contract does not make her a convincing actress, even for the short time it takes to walk out of a building and into the car with Louis.

.


Anonymous said to shadyshit91:i just saw that teens react video where they analyse the lyrics of sott and at the end the fine brothers say that harry has said that the song is about a relationship mother-child and the mother is going to die… i never heard that explanation before, like where does the verse “we never learn we been here before” fit in that explanation? “we dont talk enough, we should open up..”

He said in one of his interviews, but yeah lol whatever he says that’s definitely not what the song is about 


Anonymous said to shadyshit91:Hi love, I saw that Ticketmaster is going to be checking people’s tickets? Like they’re going to see who bought more than the max on different credit cards under the same email and will be canceling their orders discretely. Does this mean that more tickets could be available within the next week, you think?

Hm I’m not sure. Maybe? I guess so. Idk sorry, nony :( 

some things to note about this image

  • for once dimple makes an appearence without the god damn stupid fucking security guard thank fucking god 
    • please look at his tiny hands thats fucking adorable….
  • teru, just in general, i dont feel like i need to point out anything really specific here heres just a general gesture toward. teru. its teru
  • there is no fucking way reigens legs are fitting inside that small space im sorry but u can fucking convince me my suspension of disbelief just can go that far 
  • is mob…..standing up
  • also please notice how hes holding his arms……..whats he doing……..
  • tome mezato and tsubomi…..good fucking content………
  • i cant fucking comprehend musashi right now thats the thing thats fucking me up the most about this image is he in the car??? is he standing up perfectly straight like sideways in the car???? theres wind effects on everybody else but not on musashi hes just unaffected by everything in this image???????? HE LOOKS SO OUT OF PLACE MY BRAIN CANT FUCKING COMPREHEND IT
every queen song fits into one of these categories

-deep shit about love, loss, life, the universe, and everything
-sex yeah
-bikes
-cats
-fairies and magic shit
-im roger taylor and im still in my “parents just dont understand” emo teenage phase even though im 24
-cars yeah
-movie soundtrack
-serial killers
-happy love songs
-freddie mercury’s weekly schedule
-???? roger taylor probably watched a movie and got Inspired TM

ok but why does bighit have to make their otp so tragic like

sugakookie starts out soft and sweet and cute Just One Day “your voice when you say my name” “yoongi-ah” “i wanna be locked in you and swim in you”

and then it becomes hyyh angsty break up and sugakookie fighting each other and it shows how they used to be so happy hugging and being all sorts of mushy but then some shit goes down suga sets his room on fire and jungkook dies in a car crash

and then it’s wings era where jungkook is super dead and crying and calls out “hyung” and saves suga’s life from beyond the grave by whistling /their/ song (and I say “their” because suga played it on the piano) and drawing suga away from the piano before the car crashed

why we gotta go these places bighit why you gotta play but at the same time like th anks

It suddenly occurs to me that I’ve never told the story of how I got engaged, aka the “trash ruins everything you try” story

SO

It starts with my boyfriend insisting we go out for dinner, which in itself is nothing new, it was his day to cook and we hadnt done dishes in like daaaayyys. To which my response was “you lazy ass you just dont want to do the dishes. Fine but you’re paying.”

He tells me to pick a place. Somewhere nice. At this point im naming off our usual places of cheaply priced family style restaurants and he keeps insisting i pick somewhere NICER. At which point i VERY NEARLY made a “why, you gonna propose?” joke. Probably a good thing i didn’t.

Anyways the entire time im just kinda. Laying on the floor whining about having to think of a place because choosing is such a chore. I decide on east side marios, which, for the unknowing, is a family style restaurant thats italian New york themed. Not a romantic place at all but i wanted to eat 7 cheese pasta and once that was decided there was no changing it you dont just CHANGE YOUR MIND about 7 cheese capeletti you just dont.

Anyways, after wards he tries to say we should go on a walk. There’s this scenic as fuck lake near here its real nice but im like. Bitch i just ate a giant ass bowl of 7 cheese pasta and you want me to WALK haha nope im fat and full of cheese ill waddle out to the car take me home so i can take my pants off.

Really, REALLY i dont know why he didn’t just try again another day but anyways. We’re just kinda standing and hugging and boys smell good okay. And he starts going on about how much he loves me and shit and hes usually a sap but hes being super sap and im like. Wait.

AND THEN

THE FUCKER

STARTS

QUOTING RICK ASTLEY AT ME. YOU KNOW THE ONE

i hit him and the ring didn’t fit

TRUE ROMANCE GUYS

anonymous asked:

About young and menace, also the aesthetic of breaking car windows with a baseball bat wearing ripped fishnets at night by a 7/11

YES. literally every aesthetic that is sad teens doing reckless things because they dont care if they die. Like driving on the wrong side of the road 80 miles an hour at midnight? YOUNG AND MENACE. Drinking a little too much and walking down the street? YOUNG AND MENACE. it literally fits. And I fucking love it because it explains how I feel about life

anonymous asked:

if you had to leave and could only take a duffel bag with 10 items in your car what would you take?

boys dont cry magazine. the array of porsche/music books and magazines i got. my red jacket. if it counts as a single thing then all my physical music i could fit, my camera thats wrapped gold, a shoe box fulla pictures you aint seen. a can of gold spray paint. a sharpie. what am i at? fill the rest with arizonas.

How to clap back against men lowballing you

@brownsugarcinammonbun @luckyluxbaby

So my sis Cam sent an Argument as to why men lowball in our kik Group. The Argument states that sugar babies are like rental cars . If you get a 2010 Ferrari it is not going to increase in value over time and you might as well get a Ferrari 2016 which is “younger and classier and has more value”.

But here is why the rental car theory cannot apply to sugar babies. You see cars decrease in value because when being used it has no possibility to maintain itself unless the owner of the car says so. Meaning the only way a car can get maintenance is when the owner chooses to bring the car in for Service. Otherwise the car will run down the more often it is used. Of course gradually the value will decrease. Furthermore a rental car is used for only one persons benefit so it is one sided.

Sugar babies however, HAVE the power to maintain themselves because a sugar relationship is MUTUALLY beneficial. The older they get, the more experience they have. They know how to maintain themselves better, the learn how to sexually satisfy a man better, they experience events and learn how to act in them. They gain knowledge to be the kind of Person you can talk to. The more time passes the higher the quality rises. She Ages like “fine wine” so to speak. Its because sugar babies have the power to control their lives and how they maintain themselves. The sugar daddies dont do it. They’re just a helping hand. She knows which detox diet will fit her best, what make up will suit her skin tone and what dress to wear. Over all that makes her even a better woman when she first started.

So next time he compares you to a rental car, rather remind him that a sugar baby is more like a GOOD Business. The more you invest, the more it returns ;)

johnlock road trip au
  • john loves to put his feel on the dash and wow sherlock loves to look at them
  • sometimes he reaches over and grabs them
  • then they start play fighting and the car swerves a lil bit
  • and sherlock immediately reverts his attention back to the road
  • but he starts giggling and is like “john hamish watson if you dont stop right now i will turn this car around immediately”
  • and they both burst into laughter and it’s the cutest thing ever
  • after the laughter dies down, then sherlock’s like “okay john, but seriously, i’m driving and i need to focus”
  • oh my god what if yellow car
  • sherlock would call every yellow car
  • and if john fell asleep he’d wake up him like “john john john this is important! this is the most important!”
  • and john would jump up awake like “what?! what?! sherlock, are you all right?!”
  • and sherlock will just laugh and be like “yellow car”
  • and then john would just groan, lay back down, and face his back to sherlock, trying his best to go back to sleep
  • IMAGINE THEM BEING QUIET FOR A WHILE AND SHERLOCK RANDOMLY SAYING “I LOVE YOU” AND JOHN JUST SMILES AT HIM AND SAYS IT BACK
  • them pulling over at a rest stop and john just watching sherlock sleep
  • them getting snacks there for the rest of the trip and john feeding sherlock while he drives oh my god
  • oh my god them fighting over the radio and what to listen to
  • john getting fed up and just “how about we listen to nothing”
  • and sherlock is all “that’s not very fun, is it?”
  • “just drive”
  • oh my god john watson road rage
  • imagine them in a traffic jam and sherlock is just sitting there while john is shaking his fists screaming things like “you can’t turn in here now! why would you even bother i–?! stop honking your horn!”
  • and sherlock is just sitting there, his head on the wheel and hes just groaning like “john, please, give it a rest! they don’t care!”
  • AND SHERLOCK GETTING CUT OFF AND JOHN FORCING HIM TO ROLL DOWN HIS WINDOW AND HE LEANS OVER SHERLOCK’S LAP AND YELLS “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? NO, NO, DON’T DRIVE AWAY. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH A RUSH? IT’S 3 PM ON A SATURDAY, CHILL THE FUCK OUT.”
  • and sherlock just sitting there with his eyes closed quietly murmurring “there’s a pregnant lady in that back seat, john, and her water broke”
  • and john just apologises and sits back down and tells sherlock to drive the fuck away
  • them getting lost and sherlock trying to play it cool
  • “john, im not trying to fit myself into the stereotype, but we really dont need to get directions, i know what im doing”
  • “trust me sherlock, you do not conform to any stereotype out there, but im sure we are lost right now because we have passed that sign three times”
  • “no we haven’t! i would have noticed! i would have noticed.
  • “no you wouldn’t! because you kept looking at that dog in the car beside us!”
  • literally this is just too much 
  • okay imagine them in another traffic jam, but john is beyond bored this time, all his rage is gone, and he’s just pointing at random people out to sherlock and saying “tell me about him” and sherlock deduces them for john
  • wow i am on fire, literally feel free to add more
6

THIS POST WAS MADE TO SHOW OTHER PEOPLE COULD HAVE BEEN AT THE SO CALLED DATE!!  PAPARAZZI WORLDWIDE IS KNOWN TO TAKE PHOTOS PERFECTLY FITTING FOR WHAT THEY WANT WE DONT KNOW IF OTHERS WERE THERE  BY THE CARS INVOLVED IM SHOWING IT COULD HAVE BEEN A BUNCH OF PEOPLE OUT!!!!!!


Okay, now for everyone still bent on OMG Kai**** were in her car she posted it prior to that .  Lemme call Bullshit on you for 4 reasons

1.  The car she posted is a luxury box based vehicle IE something like a town car.

2. Kai’s car show in the above is a sport car which is known to have what is called feline headlights.

3. The so called date doesn’t match either car body shape, headlights , or tire wells

4. Guess who’s car it matches (and I spoke to 2 different car experts) it’s the same car Taemin is said to own.

I don’t hate Krystal I don’t hate Kai (jesus no)

But I hate when people don’t use common sense and a little research to know the truth