they dated guys

Ive been taking offense to one of the latest arguments I’ve heard from “the other side” (and I don’t hear much because I’ve blocked so many). It is that ‘yeah, ok, Mon-El has changed but this sends an awful message to girls that they will think they can change guys. You shouldn’t date a guy trying to change him, guys don’t change.’

…like what kind of message do they want to give young girls then??? That people can’t change? That if you suffered some sort of life trauma and it has left you a little messed up that you’re not capable or worthy of love???

Like what in the actual fuck? Apparently anyone even remotely broken should be tossed to the curb. It doesn’t matter if they have a good or kind soul, or they mean well, or you like other things about them?

I’m sorry but that’s bullshit. I’m not perfect, but I try to be better. I changed as a person after meeting my fiance, for the better. And so did he. Neither of us were perfect before, we were both a little fucked up from this or that (past abuse or chronic illness or anxiety or whatever) but we changed and evolved together.

If someone had used the same black and white, good or bad, all or nothing reasoning with me then I’d be all alone.

So no, I disagree. It is actually a great message to give kids that they can evolve and become better versions of themselves. Just recognize that you don’t owe it to anyone to change your partner… like if you’re being abused, it isn’t your responsibility to change that person and you owe it to yourself to reflect on the situation and make the hard decision the leave if it is the right thing to do. But also know that no one is perfect, and sometimes people just need a little bit of inspiration to blossom and become the embodiment of their wasted potential. Just learn to read the different shades of grey. Know when your emotional or physical safety is in jeopardy, and leave if it is. But the world isn’t black or white. And it’s ok to change. And it’s ok to be with someone that isn’t perfect… because newsflash: no one is.

I was headed to work today, looked at the date, and realized today is the day, two years ago, that I full immersed myself in all that is CrissColfer and began to tip toe my way into this fandom. And what a crazy, fun, interesting, frustrating, sometimes sad trip it has been.  I think you all know, I consider myself, prior to finding this world, a naïve New Yorker. I was a fan of Glee, Klaine, and Chris and Darren for the entire duration of the show. But I never thought to look closer. It simply did not make sense to me that Hollywood would force an actor into the closet who was playing an openly gay character on TV.  

And so I accepted the narratives that were sold. Chris was dating a guy named Will that I really did not know much about aside from a few pictures and that Darren was very straight and had a girlfriend named Mia. While I was a fan of Glee and Klaine, I had no idea what fandom was. Sure, I was often reading the message boards on the Glee Forum, quick to read any spoilers as they pertained to our favorite couple. I will say, I would sometimes fall upon appreciation post of miarren and I could never really understand what there was to admire. Despite the fact that I believed it was real, and again, didn’t give it more than a passing glance, it always seemed off.  Something seemed wrong.  It started with a pic from Joey Richter’s Easter celebration at his parents.  There was a possessiveness to the photo that made me feel extremely uncomfortable and from that day forward, whenever a picture was posted of the PR duo, I really questioned the chemistry and the intimacy. But again, I didn’t look any further.

 Then on March 24, 2015, the infamous twitter hack occurred.  Being a curious person, when I read the tweet, I was instantly curious. After all, not too long before, it appeared that both Lea and Chris had been hacked and it led me to wonder what Darren had tweeted.  And upon googling I discovered what all the fuss was about:

Now my interest was piqued. Why would one bother to tweet, “twitter hacked trying to resolve” about something as innocent as a favorite. I cannot tell you how many times I have accidently touched that icon. It seemed silly and ridiculous and not worth the mention and so, I started to slowly explore.

 March is traditionally my busiest season at work.  For those who practice employment based immigration, this is our tax season or what I “lovingly” refer to as my version of March Madness.  Its long days, stressful, and at least 6 days a week. So I put my research aside until Sunday, March 29. A day where I was utterly exhausted and decided a lazy day of research was exactly what I needed. And well, I never turned back.

 I spent hours that day discovering this crazy world called tumblr. Reading master posts. Discovering the main CC blogs.  And by the end of the day, I had read enough and seen enough to know that all was not as it appears.  

 And I entered the world of fandom.  Something I was not prepared for and had no idea what it was all about. Sure, I have always been a fan. As a child it started with Duran Duran and moved to my complete obsession with all things INXS.  Since that it has taken many turns, sometimes more music, British actors, sports, theater, and of course Glee. But never did I experience anything like this. And so I started my own blog. With the sole intention of reblogging things that were interesting and following the people that seemed to have insightful and interesting things to say, with the intention of remaining quiet. Just observing.

 I have no idea how I started with that and ended up here, someone who is a pretty strong and vocal voice in this community. It happened gradually, starting with a post about the TLOS and the acknowledgments to where I stand today.  And it has been such an insane and crazy ride. And I wouldn’t change making the choice to be here.

Over the past two years, I have personally talked to so many of you. I have had the pleasure of meeting a few of you at events like Elsie and Broadway Con. I have even had the pleasure of traveling to LA and San Fran with some of you.  Just last night there was dinner and a little singing to celebrate the birthday of one of the very first people I ever spoke to in this fandom. I am so very grateful for all of you, whether  we agree or disagree.  Whether we talk a lot or on occasion. It has taught me a lot. And has often shaped my opinion.  

And of course, the reason we are all here- Chris and Darren.  Two men I have my complete admiration. I may not always agree with their actions, but I think considering what they have been handed, they have handled this burden incredibly and bravely.

I think you all know that I am one of those that firmly believes in CC. That they have been a couple for years and I have seen enough that I do not waiver in my beliefs. I think a large part of why I decided to write so much more is because I think it is so important that people learn about the reality of Hollywood.  And how the constraints that are placed on actors have a profound impact on their lives.  

I often field like I want to take them and shield them under my wing. And if I feel that way, I can only imagine how their families feel. I often wonder if Cerena cries at night and the nightmare that her son in particular has endured.  And it has touched me in a way I cannot explain. And that is why I continue to be here and support them regardless of whether I agree or disagree.

Anyway, I was just feeling a little nostalgic today and I felt the need to write it down.  Here’s to hoping that the journey ahead becomes smoother and a little less tortured and that these men start their journey towards the light.  As I have said, I have no idea what their plan is for the future or how long it will be until we ultimately get to the truth, if we ever completely get it, but I will continue to be a supportive voice through it all. And if I can convince one person to see the truth and start to support the real Darren and Chris than I will feel that I have accomplished something small.

 And if perchance my words ever reach them, I will smile knowing that perhaps my support meant something to them personally.

OK so … are we really going to have this conversation AGAIN ?!

Yes , clearly Chris Wood and Melissa Benoist are a couple.
I personally am very happy for them because they deserve to be happy…and they seem very happy together so if they are happy , I am happy…

to the haters / antis / everyone hating on Chris for dating Melissa : … jeez guys , don’t you have anything better to do ? it’s THEIR life , its NONE of your business who they date , what they do in their private time or what happens in their personal life…

they are REAL people with REAL feelings… words hurt guys , trust me .. i’ve been on the receiving end and it sucks.

so … bottom line just …

(not my gif)

anonymous asked:

I feel like I did a complete 180 with dating. I'm the guy my friends come to for dating advice but this guy I'm talking to has me fucked up. He has a bad temper, he can be selfish, but when things are good they're perfect. I know I should forget about him but I can't. Each time he messages me I get excited. I know I'm infatuated but I can't stop. I feel I'm more into him than he is into me but he sends the sweetest messages and says the most loving things. Talk sense to me, PLEASE!

Is this about me?

anonymous asked:

I've been dating the same guy for about a year. i. the beginning, we had the most wonderful connection. i thought he was the one. he has cheated on me in the past, and lied multiple times. he has been known to not care as much as he could, and lacks a lot of communication with me. we broke up for the last time a few days ago. i still feel like i will never replace that connection. i don't know whether to keep trying or move on. he seems to not care so much either way.

Let him go and move on. You deserve someone better darling. Someone who won’t cheat on you. There are better guys out there.

anonymous asked:

Melissa isn't problematic lol. The only thing I could see as problematic is the way it seems she gets with guys. She got with Blake while they were both dating other people then did the same with Chris.

It’s true that she was into Blake when she was dating another guy but as far as we know both Chris and Melissa got out of their relationships before they started dating so I wouldn’t make any assumptions.

INTJ best friends catching up

We haven’t talked in about 3 weeks before this text.

INTJ 1- Did you ever go on a second date with that guy I internet stalked with you?

INTJ 2- Yea, we went on 5 more actually, then he ditched.

INTJ 1- Ah, we he must have been the bad kind of crazy then, you really dodged a bullet there.

INTJ 2- I appreciate the sentiment.

We probably won’t text each other again for a couple weeks.

The thought of me actually having a boyfriend freaks me out. Dating is kinda foreign to me lol. Don’t really ask me for dating/relationship advice guys…if you do i may just give you an answer I find on google 😂😂

anonymous asked:

I'm bisexual, and while I don't have a preference for any gender, I don't want to date guys. At least not now. I'm tired of my friends telling me how to talk to them or how to act with them.

good news you dont have to!!! if you never want to date a guy you dont have to and if you dont want to recognise your attraction to men you dont have to. Everything is up to you dont want to act on your attraction to men then thats your choice and thats perfectly fine ily 

you know what really fucking pisses me off

the idea that you have to have never dated a guy and you have to be “pure” or whatever to be a Real Lesbian™. people take time to figure themselves out and they shouldn’t be excluded because of that. not to mention the idea of “purity” is fucking gross

are u a girl/ feminine aligning and like other girls/ feminine aligning people and want to use the label? cool welcome to the club ur a lesbian