How long does it take when eventually you run out of ways to scream for help; until it just feels like you’re just taking deep breaths for two weeks straight? I wouldn’t know how to fight this feeling because it’s so monstrous, and I don’t know what possessed me that I could handle this all alone because now I’m drowning and the water is filling my lungs. I’m still screaming but no one says or hears anything.
My friends think when I’m being serious that I’m too deep. That’s deep, they say. And not another word leaves their mouth. Some of them laugh at me for loving poetry that makes you think beyond deep but above it. It’s like their strangling me and they don’t even know it, it’s become a chore for them.
When the signs are there but no one ever speaks up, soon April becomes May and I’m still screaming, but this month I’m screaming just a little bit softer.
— April Showers, ultra-mckenzie-me