they could just leave it that way

How long does it take when eventually you run out of ways to scream for help; until it just feels like you’re just taking deep breaths for two weeks straight? I wouldn’t know how to fight this feeling because it’s so monstrous, and I don’t know what possessed me that I could handle this all alone because now I’m drowning and the water is filling my lungs. I’m still screaming but no one says or hears anything.

My friends think when I’m being serious that I’m too deep. That’s deep, they say. And not another word leaves their mouth. Some of them laugh at me for loving poetry that makes you think beyond deep but above it. It’s like their strangling me and they don’t even know it, it’s become a chore for them.

When the signs are there but no one ever speaks up, soon April becomes May and I’m still screaming, but this month I’m screaming just a little bit softer.

—  April Showers, ultra-mckenzie-me

Anyway Moriel shippers whining about Mor being gay can suck my dick lol.

Is it probably tokenism? Yes. Is it probably going to be lazy, last minute representation? Yes. Do any of you homophobes using these things for your complaints actually fucking give a shit about whether or not it’s tokenism? No! You’re just homophobic, so stop pretending like you actually care about the quality of gay representation!

I can’t believe some of you actually have the audacity to to say shit like “this is coming out of nowhere” and “Mor just doesn’t SEEM like she’s gay” and “but poor Azriel!” and “but I wanted Moriel to happen!” and “I’m not saying I don’t want representation, I just don’t think it should be Mor.”

First of all, if you’re straight (and most of the people complaining here are) how DARE you say anything about Mor “seeming gay” or not. How DARE you. What the actual fuck could you possibly know about it. Nothing. You could know nothing.

Second of all, of COURSE you don’t think it should be Mor. You CARE about Mor. Mor is beautiful, bubbly, funny, smart, outgoing. Her storyline is important to the main plot. She’s survived tragedy and emerged triumphant. You relate to her. And most of all, you want her to get together with a male character. And for her to be GAY? Oh no! Now this is ruined for you. Now she’s not perfect anymore. God forbid gay people have a gay character with positive traits they can look up to and relate to in a series. God forbid ONE character out of a TON of straights had to be made gay and now you can’t relate anymore.

I’ve seen multiple people say “I like the representation, but I thought Mor should be with Azriel and Amren should be gay. Why couldn’t it be Amren?” This. Is VERY telling. Amren is described as not overly beautiful, she has a more abrasive personality, and most importantly, she doesn’t seem interested in any kind of romantic relationship. At all. Her being gay would not get in the way of ANY of your straight romances/ships/plots. It probably would’t even be brought up a lot, because it’s doubtful she’d even be with someone. So people saying that Amren would have been a better candidate feels very much like “Ugh, the gays can HAVE that weird freak Amren, but it’s not fair they get that pretty girl! How can MOR be gay?? What about the boy I want as her boyfriend?”

So many people are shielding themselves from being called homophobic by saying “I want a character to be LGBT! I want there to be representation for LGBT! (Just not THIS character)” Well that’s bullshit, first of all because the way you say “LGBT” instead of “LGBT characters” or “gay characters” kinda reveals the way you view representation as some nebulous kind of check-the-box category to get over with instead something actually important, and second of all because the “LGBT representation” that you’re “all for” is a very specific kind of representation. It’s the kind that isn’t really representation at all.

You’re “all for LGBT rep,” but you never actually want characters you LIKE to be gay. You never want the characters you ship in straight relationships to turn out gay. You want the ugly characters, the evil characters (who are going to die anyway), the characters who never end up in relationships, (and the “smol bean xD” men who you fetishize and ship with other men, but that’s another issue) to turn out gay. That way you can pat yourself on the back for how good and diverse your series is while continuing to enjoy the main straight characters in their straight relationships. That way you’re never forced to invest in the humanity of gay people and their stories, because their “stories” are just a casual mention of their sexuality, or a side plot so tiny it might as well not exist (like in tog).

And as for “poor Azriel!” do I really have to tell you why that’s fucking dumb? I guess it’s not uncommon in this fandom to always prioritize men over women (re: “poor Rhysand when Feyre had to sleep with her abuser that must have been so hard for HIM!!”), but still. Listen to yourself.

On top of all of this, I find it pretty funny (I don’t. I don’t find it funny. At all. None of this is funny it makes me want to vomit) that straight people are throwing a tantrum and acting like it’s the worst thing ever that a ship they were passionate about couldn’t work out because of the characters’ sexualities. HAHAHAHAHAHA! The irony of it, honestly, and the fact that none of you realize it… wow. Do y’all. Have any idea. How many times that happens to gay readers? On a REGULAR basis?? The two characters are similar. Have good chemistry. Interact in a way that hints at a relationship. Would be perfect together. You care about them, you grow invested. And just when you think they might be endgame… oops! They’re straight, and they can’t be together. I don’t have an ounce of pity for people saying that they’re SO upset by this because they were in love with the ship and now it can’t happen because of sexuality. This is our LIFE. It happened to you one fucking time, and the relationship wasn’t even that developed; somehow I think you’ll be okay.

To sum it up, when I hear people complaining about Mor being gay because they thought she should be with Azriel, literally all I hear is “wait but gay people are fine only as long as they don’t get in the way of straight ships and characters :( why can’t they stay on the fringes of the plot where they belong and leave us straights alone :( we used to have 100% of the characters and plot and now we only have 99% :( life is so hard :(“

It’s honestly just really disheartening to see straight people responding so nastily to this, especially when this is just a tiny drop of real representation. Mor’s sexuality might not end up being well done in the book, but there are a lot of gay and bi girls who read these books and this could genuinely make a difference to them. And THAT will ALWAYS be more important than the success of a straight ship, especially in a series in which there is absolutely NO shortage of straight ships and characters. Go pick two of the other 10,000 straight characters to ship and leave us alone.

I really appreciate what they chose to call the video.

It could’ve been “MOVING?!” or “MOVING OUT!” or something else just as vague, some title that upon first glance could make you doubt and - just for a second - entertain the notion that maybe they’re actually going their separate ways and living in different places and that maybe it truly is the end of an era.

But no, it’s called “We’re Moving Out”. It’s simple - no all caps or exclamation points - just a title with one extra word that makes it abundantly clear that yes they are moving out together and no they don’t think it’s too big of a deal and yes they’re not planning on being apart any time soon, don’t worry.

Medbay Dominos

Happy Everyone Lives After Rishi, and Rex Adopts All of Domino Squad au. lol. Just a little something I had to write thanks to one of Hevy’s recent adventures. Also influenced by @wolveria‘s post about Echo being a trouble maker. Killer belongs to @thebisexualmandalorian <3 also on ao3.

Kix was finally taking a break to get some food. He was starving, and Jesse finally convinced him to leave everything to Killer for a little while.

He was just about to take his first bite when he heard Stick say to Poke, “Glad we’re not on duty, Domino Squad is back in the medbay for checkups. Had to deal with them last time. They are worse than herding stray ARCs.”

Kix dropped his fork and stormed back to the medbay. Jesse sighed, and followed after his husband. This was not going to be pleasant.


It was mostly quiet in the medbay on the Resolute. Killer had just left to go to the intensive care unit where a vod needed some assistance.

Unfortunately, that meant he had to leave Domino Squad unsupervised. In the medbay.

Stay. Someone will be back shortly to do your checkups.” Killer said before trotting off to where he was needed.

Echo got up from where he was sitting to start messing with some equipment on the wall. Fives asked, “Didn’t Killer tell us to stay.”

“I’m not going anywhere Fiv’ika. Besides, he didn’t say not to touch anything.” Echo replied, watching the slow smile form over Fives’ face.

“That is true. Excellent point.” Fives slid over next to Echo tossed an interesting piece of equipment to Cutup, who was still sitting on the bed next to a napping Droidbait. Hevy tapped him on the shoulder, but Droidbait just groaned and pulled the blanket over his head. Hevy shrugged and went to poke at something attached to the wall.


Kix stomped into the medbay, pointed at all of Domino Squad and yelled, “You!.”

Cutup jumped so bad, he threw whatever he was holding into the air, which smacked Fives in the head, causing him to swear profusely. The smallest snap could be heard, preceded by Hevy swearing softly, attempting to fix whatever he just broke. Echo turned to face Kix with the most unrepentant smile.

“What do you think you’re doing to my medbay?!” Kix growled out.

“Us?” Echo asked innocently, placing a hand on his chest. “We would never do anything to harm your medbay.”

“Bullshit, and you know it.” Kix barked, emphasizing with his pointed finger. “Last time you were left in here alone, you blew out half of my lights, and we had to call that ARC engineer from 212th when even General Skywalker couldn’t even figure out what you did.”

Echo attempted to explain “Honestly th-”

“-No. Don’t.” Kix held up his hand to stop him. “I don’t want to hear it. All of you are banned from being in the medbay unless supervised, or unconscious.” Cutup reached a hand to Droidbait’s shoulder. “Except Droidbait, who is an actual angel and has done nothing wrong. He can pick a sweet from Poke’s stash after he gets back.” The other four all made various levels of bummed noises, and pouty faces.

Which is exactly when Jesse walked in. He stopped just behind Kix, and crossed his arms. “Everything okay in here?”

Hevy finally turned around, casually placing the broken off piece on the table. “Yep. All good in here. Fine, really.”

A sly smiled formed on Kix’s face. “Well then, if everything is ‘all good’ in here. I’m just going to leave Jesse here with you, while I finally get something to eat.” He looked over his shoulder, “That okay with you, ruus’ner.”

“Of course, Kixystix.” Jesse gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. “Go get some food.” He looked up at Domino Squad, and lowered his voice “I’ll keep a good eye on them ‘til you get back.”

Fives swallowed audibly as the four not napping members of Domino Squad huddled just a little closer together. If they listened hard enough, they could have heard Kix’s laughter all the way to the mess hall.

Instead of finding Keith’s mom in season 3....

….The Voltron crew completely throws a curveball and have them find his dad. In space. Specifically chilling at some shady, low-life space bar.

Though it’s not officially stated the state of Daddy Kogane, most of us assume he either died when Keith was younger or just straight up left him at some point. I’m kinda leaning on the party of him leaving to try and find a way to locate Keith’s mom. Since it’s canon that she is a member of the Blade of Mamora, she probably went to Earth on a mission to locate the Blue Lion before Zarkon’s forces could (perhaps actually piloting the Red Lion to do so?) One way or another, she kinda get stuck and runs into this womanizer (I’m going with in the theory that he might also be Shiro’s dad), rough-neck country boy and forced him to be her guide. Love blossoms between the two and Keith happens. However Keith’s mom knows that she can’t stay there too much longer and has to return to her duties- now that she knows the Blue Lion is located on Earth she and the Blade have to ensure that Zarkon won’t find it. She leaves her family in the dead of night with only a note explaining her reasoning and her blade as a reminder for Keith of her love.

But Daddy Kogane ain’t one to give up. He knows the war going on up in space and his wife’s role in it. There no way in hell he’s letting her fight alone to keep Keith and Earth safe. So he makes a home for himself and baby Keith in the middle of the desert where he and his wife first met (and to keep an eye out for the Blue Lion who, unfortunately won’t open up to him. Damn giant robot cat. Should have been a robot dog, aint’ as damn fickle). He searches for anything that might be alien-like (searching high and low for cryptids and UFO sightings with little toddle Keith always at his side). Finally he comes across another alien that happens to be stopping on earth (stealing Kaltenecker and other random earth junk) and forces the poor alien (dude, put that knife down! I’m just doing my job man!) to agree to give him a ride into space.

Of Daddy Kogane doesn’t know what actually he’ll run into up in space looking for the Blade of Mamora. All he knows is that there is a war going on and a little kid like Keith won’t be safe. So, with a heavy heart, he leaves Keith with an old family friend with the promise that he’ll be back as soon as he can- both him and Keith’s mom will.

Years fly by and Keith and the paladins are currently looking for Shiro. Some aliens that they saved inform them that they have actually seen a human that looks similar to Keith within their town. Of course, everyone assumes that it’s Shiro and get pumped and excited.

Their alien guide leads them into the most filthy part of their village. The paladins excitement starts to dim and then just turns into confused when the alien points to what is obviously a seedy, criminal filled bar. 

This…this doesn’t seem like a place Shiro, their law-abiding and gentle-hearted space dad, would want to hang out in.

But they shrug their shoulders and head in. Who knows? Maybe Shiro just needed a drink.

Amongst all the burly, vicious looking aliens, they spot the hunched back of a figure that is obviously human. They get excited and rush forward, Keith in the lead, crying out “SHIRO!!!”

Then, the figure downs his drink and turns towards the commotion. A guy that is obviously not Shiro sends them a deadpan look.

“Who the hell is Shiro? The name’s Ryou.” His eyes widen. “Well, I’ll be damned, you fellas human?”

The paladins stare, jaws open in shock and then Keith speaks in a quiet, bewildered voice.


Ryou’s eyes widen even further in shock.”KEITH?! What the hell you doing here boy?! Why aren’t you back with Mrs. Harris?!”

“Mrs. Harris got into a bar fight and died of a stroke ten years ago!”

“Oh.” Ryou leans back and yells at the bartender, “I’M GOING TO NEED ANOTHER ROUND OVER HERE! MAKE IT REALLY STRONG!”

l0vedoesntdiscriminate  asked:

i think your fanfiction is so comforting because even tho you've pointed out your own inaccuracies its nice to think that this is how lams might have really been. the conversations and the awkward-boner. the flirting and the joking. its just nice in a way that lots of the things in your story could have very well been real things i guess. if that makes sense

It makes sense!

Yeah, I’ll always reinforce that Song of Alexander is FICTION because it’s mostly speculative about people’s emotions (like real people who existed) and leaves out important historical characters and events and moves timelines in ways that are just convenient for storytelling.
But it is a really cool thought- and a big part of the temptation to write it and research for it- that the events we read about had an impact on people who were living it as real time.  There’s nothing more fun than reading a history book and placing familiar characters into the events.

Like- things I’m excited to cover eventually: 

  • the very-real fear of losing the war and being tried as rebel criminals
  • the idea of “what comes after the war”…how much is truly unknown
  • the French alliance
  • the making of von Steuben into an American legend
  • John’s disillusionment with General Lee- the Hero of Charles Town
  • Benjamin Franklin as a human being who says things
  • General Arnold’s betrayal
  • Alexander Hamilton growing into himself as a force of national influence
  • John Laurens gaining- then losing influence

I think the really comforting piece of writing this is making these people human while still showing how they had to be clever and focused to do what they do.  There’s a fine-line between making people into heroes and humanizing them so much their hard-earned achievements seem unrealistic.  Finding that balance- it makes that kind of achievement feel possible.  They’re monuments to us now, but at the time, they were just…people with ideas and goals and insecurities and embarrassment and self-doubt and awkwardness.  

just to recap

Emori’s concern re: Raven was that the rest of them had lied and left all three of them to die, which was a totally unfounded fear except for the fact they’ve done NOTHING to convince her they’re Really Nice People Not Like That.

(*cough* frankly considering Clarke was gonna lock MONTY out of Arkadia they’ve barely convinced me as an audience member that people care about Raven beyond being a life-saver/asset lately, and that’s something that upsets me *way* more than Emori being blunt about it. The feeling she wouldn’t be needed anymore and could just GO was something that was playing out in Raven’s head too, in a different way.)

Anyway Emori was not “hating” on her or calling her useless, it’s not the way the world OUGHT to be but the way it IS to her. She had been assured “they wouldn’t leave Raven if they weren’t coming back” and from where she was standing it was really painfully valid to ask “why not?” She imagined Raven had been jettisoned from the group *along with her and Murphy* on like the snarkiest island of misfit toys ever, and for the life of me I don’t understand why that made people mad at EMORI.

  • <p> <b>what she says:</b> i'm fine<p/><b>what she means:</b> okay but rumple was the dark one and totally fell in love with belle, and then emma is the dark one and she does everything she can for her loved ones, but then hook finds out he's also the dark one and suddenly emma is nothing more than just some pretty girl, and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth that he clearly isn't on the same level of love and care that everyone else seems to be, dark or not, and hook just isn't good enough for emma and she could do way better<p/></p>

so that gif actually reminded me of a thing that bothers me even though there’s a pretty convenient explanation as to why it happens BUT anyway

so, Kira activates BTD for the last time, seemingly “goes back” in time (but he’s actually just plain ol’ Dead), and thinks to himself “Alright I’ve reversed time, so now I’m on my way to work I guess!”

Except that should’ve been a MASSIVE tip-off to Kira that something is horribly wrong. He straight up says himself–and we see ourselves–that he cannot recall when BTD has been activated, and any events that happened in the previous time loop are completely erased from his memory–leaving him to basically piece things from context.

The very fact that Kira remembers that he activated BTD could be a plothole OR it could be him forgetting the fact that he shouldn’t remember, and is thus a tip-off to the audience that he DIDN’T activate BTD

and knowing araki? it could be either one.


“ at first they started investigating the murder..”
“-and then they started investigating each other.”

the soundtrack of lilicole part un. @ole-cole

001. classic ; mkto. the way you saved me, who can blame me, when i just wanna make you smile. 002. style ; taylor swift. you got that james dean daydream look in your eye and i got that red lip classic thing that you like. 003. one night ; christina perri. if you could, i know you’d leave with me, it’s more than curiosity. 004. kiss me slowly ; parachute. hold my breath as you’re moving in, taste your lips and feel your skin. 005. check yes juliet ; we the kings. i’ll be waiting, wishing, wanting yours for the taking, just sneak out and don’t tell a soul goodbye. 006. starving ; hailee steinfeld. don’t need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn the way, right away, you do things to my body. 007. toothbrush ; dnce. no need to question next time we meet, i know you’re coming home with me. 008. perfect ; ed sheeran. darling, just hold my hand, be my girl, i’ll be your man. 009. lust for life ; lana del ray ft. the weeknd. in these stolen moments, the world is mine, there’s nobody here, just us together. 010. the only exception ; paramore. and up until now i had sworn to myself that i’m content with loneliness, because none of it was ever worth the risk..but you are the only exception.

I’m just so proud of Julie Andem, she absolutely deserves every award. Skam could have gone so many ways but she rather speaking honestly and respectfully than writing the typical unnecessary drama and baiting fans. 

The way she deals with every season’s themes is, for me, one of the most accurate yet considerate ways. She doesn’t need cliffhangers, sexist plots or unnecessary whatsoever. She’s talking about the reality not just teenagers but adult people go through and leaves every season with a lesson learned and hope.

She’s devoted to the audience, the fact that she actually interviews and listens to the young community and to the minorities she’s representing makes me so happy. She’s devoted to her work and to the message she’s giving.

She deserves these and many more awards. 

Congratulations, Julie.

Our Sweet Rapture by Chiyume

Summary: After a hunt gone wrong leaves Sam transfigured and Castiel drained of his grace, Dean is not only left to tend to them both, but for some reason also finds himself having involuntarily and graphically inappropriate thoughts about the angel in question. Now, if only Cas could stop getting so close to him all the time, maybe he could figure out what the hell was going on?

Comments: 10/10. 10/10 all the way. It’s fluffy and smutty and really really great. The writing is awesome, the story line is captivating and interesting. Just go read it, it’s really amazing. Starts off as a kind of fuck or die that they try to fight, and ends with their angelic mating anniversary. Also features adorable baby Sam. The sexual tension is amazing, and Cas has amazing self control.

anonymous asked:

It makes zero sense that after 3 years Luisa hasn't met Mateo and the twins. I hate the way Rafael treats her... He just wanted to have lunch together so their room would be empty and Elvis could bug it, and when she tried to leave he used the fact that she didn't know the kids as leverage Ohh and when she was on the sub with Rose, he only emailed her because he wanted sin rostro to be caught. He doesn't care about her in the slightest and I hate that so many jtv fans blame her for everything

I KNOW OH MY GOD. rafael literally doesn’t care about luisa and yet here he is, constantly being put on a pedestal and “being such a good brother”, making luisa’s storylines about him when really he’s just the shittiest brother ever. i said this when 3x03 aired but i’d rather have luisa be with rose, them working on their relationship & luisa being happy eventually, than having her stay at the marbella for literally only rafael.

So, I was stoked to see the leaked photo of Matt Holt and Shiro. Shiro is alive, THANK GOD, because I don’t really want anyone else to pilot the black lion (I could maybe come around to Allura though…). He’s SPACE DAD. His family needs him. And Matt is alive! And he and Pidge are going to be so relieved to be together again. This is amazing. But if/when Shiro and Matt finally make it back to the castle, the ship dynamics will change, possibly a lot. 

And I think Lance is going to be most affected by this change, probably for the worse.

I mean, think about it… Lance tends to be the least favorite on the ship. No one’s best friend, never anyone’s first choice. And Matt’s going to board the ship, and everyone will get along with him extremely well, and Lance will be crushed that this guy who’s been on the ship for a matter of hours is already liked better than him. 

Shiro has already worked with Matt, they’ve dealt with trauma together, they’ve bonded. Shiro is  grateful to have his old friend back. Pidge, obviously, will be thrilled to see her brother again. Any attention she once allowed Lance is now focused on Matt instead. Hunk and Matt both strike me as very methodical, patient, and strategic. I think they’ll bond very easily. Keith probably won’t have strong feelings for him, but jeez, he’ll find Matt far more pleasant than “obnoxious” Lance. Coran will love this bright, scientific boy! How wonderful to have another ally on board. Matt will probably be very useful around the castle! And as for Allura…

Allura already adores Pidge and Shiro. And as soon as these two introduce Matt, she already knows she’ll get along with him splendidly. She includes him in battle planning. They share the information they’ve learned about the war and the status of other planets. They strategize to form new alliances. And one day over dinner, she makes a casual comment, not realizing its potential harm. 

“Matt, if we’d have found you sooner, you would have been a perfect fit for the Blue Lion. The Blue Paladin is known for being an excellent strategist, cool under pressure, and having incredible precision. With your skill set, you certainly fit the bill!”

Of course, Allura didn’t mean to insult Lance. And she’d never dream of replacing Lance at this point, not now that he and Blue were bonded. She didn’t even think Lance been paying attention. He and Keith had been bickering. But Lance heard her. He pretended he hadn’t and finished his meal in silence.

 But later that night, he couldn’t push the words out of his head. He couldn’t shake the feeling that she was right. Matt was better than him in every way. Matt had passed piloting exams and simulations so that he could go on the Kerberos Mission. After so much experience extracting ice samples, his precision was unmatched. Since escaping the Galra, he’d become an excellent fighter. Plus, he got along well with everyone on the team. It would be much easier for the paladins to form Voltron with Matt piloting Blue.

Worst of all, Blue loved him too. Shortly after arriving to the castle, Matt had asked to meet all of the lions. And upon seeing Matt, Blue lit up just like she did for Lance.

So Lance decides to leave. Matt will pilot Blue. Voltron will be stronger, and they’ll defeat the Galra sooner. Peace will be returned to the universe. Besides, maybe he’ll be able to find his way home. After all, that’s where he really wants to be—safe on earth with his family. A few days later, after looking over all the maps he could find and storing away enough food and water for a few weeks, he packs up his few belongings and makes his way to the escape pods. He passes through the silent halls of the castle unnoticed and makes his departure.

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Happy Birthday Hailey

It’s the wonderful @victuurificrec aka Hailey’s birthday today! She does an incredible amount for the fandom and if you don’t know her blog, I suggest you definitely check it out asap. She puts a huge amount of effort into everything that she does and she’s been an incredible supporter of my fic for a long time. So to say thank you and Happy Birthday to Hailey, here’s a little birthday themed Viktuuri ficlet to show my appreciation. 

Happy Birthday! xx

“So, you’re telling me that all this panic is just because you can’t decide what to get Viktor for his birthday?” Phichit asked disbelievingly.

Yuuri groaned, resting his head in his free hand as he clutched his phone with the other. It was stupid, he knew. Calling Phichit in a panic after almost a full week of constant worrying and doubt over something that Viktor probably wouldn’t even care much about but he couldn’t help himself.

“I’ve been living with him for a year Phichit. We’ve been together for even longer. Last year he told me he didn’t really celebrate much but this year it’s different. We’ve been together too long for me to not give him something, I just don’t know what.”

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It was with a warm hand on Castiel’s shoulder that Chuck watched his son die for the first time. Watched as the archangel shredded Cas under the weight and pull of angelic power. It was messy. It was callous.

Chuck wiped his blood-covered hands on his jeans, feeling the way the slick met rough—what was left of his son smeared on the denim.

Dean had come and gone and Chuck was left, sitting in the red-painted house, knowing that somewhere, his firstborn son was breaking free. Going to end the world.

Chuck sighed, grabbing a bottle of liquor from the counter and taking a deep swig. He could still see the glow in Castiel’s eyes. Not from grace, but from something perhaps more pure. Like a memory of the light once used to create the earth and all the creatures that inhabited it. The light that Chuck had given his creations straight from his own fingertips.

Cas, you beautiful idiot, he had thought as the room shook and he watched his son hold his ground, his last breaths rooted in a pearl of hope for the Earth. Hope placed in the small hands of two forgettable hunters fighting against the rising powers of hell.

The brave sacrifice of the brown-haired, blue eyed angel who died to save the world would likely never be told, but still, Chuck couldn’t help but think that it was the stuff that stories were made of.

It was quiet now, in the kitchen with the reminder of Cas, the man who’d ripped up the pages of destiny and spat in the face of fate. The man who’d scoured the earth in search for God with nothing but a second-hand pendant and a desire to protect.

Chuck closed his eyes, tightly. A desire to protect, he thought, his mind drifting back to the sense of wonder he’d felt when he’d first created his angels.

He sat down and poured a little drink on the floor in tribute before squeezing the bottle between his knees. And he tried not to remember that he had the power to protect, too. To protect the world from the impending apocalypse. To protect Castiel.

He didn’t. He wouldn’t. It was a promise he’d made a long time ago when, in an effort to “save,” he’d purged the earth with water. What surprised him, however, was how men continued to preach in his name, building philosophies and stamping them with heaven’s seal without care to God’s sanctions.

“Maybe my children make better Gods than me,” Chuck considered, finding himself again drawn to the two young brothers that, even now, were facing Michael and Lucifer when even their own God couldn’t.Dean and Sam were better men than their father, Chuck thought, and Cas was a better man than me.

Chuck stared at the way the room wore bits of Cas and wondered at the feelings of sentiment he felt. True, Chuck knew all of his angels, but he couldn’t find it in himself to understand why he felt the world was smaller now in the space since he’d watched Castiel die. After all, it was simply the natural order of things. He created angels like shooting stars: fiery, fierce and beautiful. And, like the meteoroids plowing through the sky, Cas had come too close to the earth, burning up inside the atmosphere.

Once, Chuck had commanded the angels to love the humans. The angels had become volatile, hardened creatures, made for duty with no one to serve. Statues of rigid perfection.

Chuck looked down at his own hands, letting his mind wander through the intricate designs of the human vessel he’d created for himself. Human flesh was so different than the fierce ether of an angel. He’d created them with the heads of beasts and great spanning wings. They were formidable, truly, they were. And yet, Chuck knew, even then, when he’d first birthed them, that humans were his most beautiful creation. They were breakable, small, and beautifully flawed. And, he’d known then, too, that he’d created mankind to save them all. To save the angels. To save himself.

It was his own last beacon of hope, that perhaps they could all become something more than the patterns of war and violence that had emanated from him and poured into his creations.

Chuck smiled as he looked at the Supernatural books, knowing he had found it. His broken children who had become more than their God, willing to die for the sake of the planet.

They had transcended him. He always knew they would. But, what had surprised him was the angel in the dirty trench coat and blue eyes, falling away from heaven’s glory for one man. One human. An angel that had such faith in and love for humanity that he’d given up everything.

Chuck bowed his head to his chest. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t get involved. And yet, he could still hear Castiel’s prayers in the back of his head—months of the angel’s voice crying for an absent God to step in and save his children.

And Chuck knew what he had to do. Though it wasn’t much in the grand scheme of things—a small gesture, really. But significant nonetheless.

Slowly, he leaned down to the floor, touching a spot of red with his finger. He watched as the bits of Cas responded, finding their way back to the whole. It was a fascinating process, to see the parts of Cas’s vessel come together, gathering, binding, creating arms, legs, a face. Until, suddenly, he was staring at the calm features of Cas’s body, laying down with his eyes closed, as if he could be asleep.

Then, with a breath, Chuck pulled light from the skies, infusing grace and soul and power to recreate Castiel’s true form, creating a sacred space inside the simple kitchen of Chuck’s home. It felt wrong, in a way, to bring so much of his God self back to the place where he had gone to leave it all behind. And yet, it also felt right. To put something back together again after such a long time of watching things fall apart.

And, finally, it was done as he gingerly placed Castiel back inside the man laying on the ground. He watched as the vessel’s chest hitched with the first breath of life, and smiled when he looked at the body he’d created just for Cas. For the angel who wanted so badly to love humans. In a way, now he could be one. He thought Cas would like that he’d made him look like Jimmy. That maybe he’d find it easier if he could look in the mirror and see the man whose face had first chosen to be so autonomous and free from heaven.

Cas’s eyes were still closed, and Chuck knew he couldn’t let him wake up here. He couldn’t face his son. Not now. Still, he was surprised to find himself kneeling on the floor of the kitchen, running his hands through the soft parts of Castiel’s hair, his thoughts, surprisingly far away from the ending of the rest of the world. Instead, he placed a kiss on top of Cas’s head, sending him to a beautiful forest, by a stream to wake up.

And then the kitchen was empty again, the clock on the wall ticking loudly, and the stain from the spilled alcohol shining on the floor.

Chuck contemplated what he’d done. Wondered at his own need to break every rule that had bound him for centuries and heal one lowly angel when he’d let hundreds of others die.

But, he thought he already knew the answer. Where Chuck had made humans in a deliberate effort at salvation, one lowly angel had been a surprise. A miracle. And, as Chuck sat back in his chair, he smiled as he admitted it to himself: it turned out that maybe it wasn’t just the humans that were there to save. It turned out that maybe, just maybe, a forgettable, self-sacrificing angel with blue eyes and too much heart could be the one to redeem them all.

Sharing a Moment (NSFW)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Smut

A/N: So I wrote this whole thing out, then decided I hated it, scrapped all but two paragraphs and re-wrote the whole thing. I don’t know if it’s my best work but I tried. Hope you guys like it.

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I was trying for butter slime, but after a very long sequence of failures and attempts to salvage it, instead I ended up with…whatever this is?? It’s a little sticky and slippery, but it actually feels pretty nice and is really fun to play with! (Plus it’s got dem jiggles :3)

Someone on instagram called it vanilla pudding slime, so vanilla pudding slime it is! ^^