they constantly make me feel

anonymous asked:

I've been reading that book mentioned by the previous anon for over a year now (I just don't have the time to finish it!). But so far I think it's really good and there's a lot of info in it that I didn't know before I read. And about Stevie being shy as a child, I totally understand that being a fellow Gemini. We're the twins so we almost always have 2 personalities that flip flop constantly. Is it weird that sharing the same sign as Stevie makes me feel closer to her? Love your blog! Xx

Hey anon, thank you! Not weird at all in my opinion. :)

winter cannot fester in my bones.
they groan and fight against the cold,
like bottomless lakes, frozen at the surface
but teeming with life in murky, hidden depths.

  in my rearview mirror this february day,
yellow headlights shined like beacons of life —
“my icy bloodstream will melt once again!”
the horizon, the street, my soul rejoiced.


the wind, i realized, was tentatively warm,
sending ripples down my back and up again,
and whispering the worst of it was over.
cold air will cease to stiffen in my lungs.


for winter cannot fester in my bones.
they groan and fight against the cold,
like bottomless lakes, frozen at the surface
but teeming with life in murky, hidden depths.

—  2/11/2017; a warm day in february

love when a ‘best friend’ constantly tends to another persons feelings (even tho they’re ridiculously immature and controlling?) over mine, yet demands me to consider their feelings over my own/anyone else’s??

anonymous asked:

I saw the post and I think you were in the right. All you did was to call out shitty toxic people in your life and move past them. Anyways I hope you feel better if you're upset about it, hope this isn't a sensitive topic - sorry if I overstepped my boundaries here.

Oh no you are perfectly fine ^^ 
I’m happy you think I was doing something right because I would show you how this person as well as the other they side with has treated me, but out of respect (which he seems to be lacking) I won’t because it’s better that way.

I will say that I have been nothing, but kind to these people while they constantly shoved their art in my face and if I didn’t say anything about it, they would get whiny and start saying they were shitty, etc. I talk and they instantly get triggered over everything I do/say which is why I am quiet half the time and then they sit here and try to turn people against me for speaking the truth about them and their manipulative personalities that they have YET to admit.

People probably think I am an asshole 24/7, but no. If anything, that post took a lot for someone like me to write about because half the time I’m suppressing my emotion for their sake. Not anymore though. They are manipulative, they are cruel, they never gave a shit about what I felt and every time they would make themselves the victims and I’d get the repercussions for it.

For someone as shy as me, it’s surprising for even me to say these things, but it’s the truth and you can ask @toucoocos and @bloodyheart-art specifically as well as a few others because they would know more than anyone how those two I called out really are.

But thank you <333 I feel like you guys have a right to know anyway so.

Hey guys, I think I’m going to take a break from tumblr for a little while. I’m very stressed at the moment, and I just don’t feel very welcome here anymore.
I’ve been very upset lately, and have been turning to stuff on here to take my mind off things, but I just don’t feel comfortable at the moment. I feel like I’m bothersome and unwanted, so I think I’m going to stay off for a while and focus on stuff privately.

tbh not to be a got7nator but stanning got7 is so good and makes me feel so happy like they’re constantly saying and doing so many nice things to us and making sure we know how important we are to them and how we need to take care of ourselves and dont mind the ppl who say bad things about them or the fandom jdfjhffdjfd they rly make me feel so loved n appreciated n that means the world to me :(

anonymous asked:

Hey just wanted to let you know I love your work and I hope you're doing ok!! OuO Please remember to take calm breaks from school work as needed so you're not super stressed and so you can keep your mind happy and healthy! Make sure to take some time for you. I love you!! Keep being amazing! ^~^ P.S. We're kinda on a crush story trend now but can I send in a picture of my puppy? ^~^ He's really cute and I love him.

Aaaaah omg… Ily? Honestly I do need this reminder from time to time ;; I thought I’d just get in and handle school without trouble but…. nope…. it actually really wears me down, plus I have to stay at a family member’s house (which whom I kinda have a “mmmh… this is sorta not nice” relationship) every day after school so?? This is just a really nice message? Thank you so much?

Also yeah!! I might not post it today- gotta sleep soon- but I’d love it!

I did this to myself. 

I keep everyone at arms length. I keep up a wall. I constantly think that my feelings are a burden to anyone that knows me. 

So…yeah. I did this to myself. I’m tired of myself at this point.

You know who you are,

I am doing this because I know I will never be able to tell all of this to you. You have hurt me deeply, multiple times. And yet, every time I come crawling back like a fucking idiot because I love you too much. I thought I could trust you, after all that we had been through, after all the times that I helped you and also after all the times you saved me. Because honestly, you were the only one that truly understood me, even in the stupid mess that constantly surrounded me you always tried to make me feel better. I don’t know what went wrong, I thought you cared. But I guess I though wrong. I don’t know how much I can keep up with this, and maybe it is all something that I am making up, but I can’t cope with it longer. I am trying to heal and you know it. You have been besides me all this time, hell, you were one of the ones that pushed me to actually get help. And yet, when I feel that I need you the most, you toss me aside like I am worth nothing. What happened? I don’t get it. All this time I have been trying to come up with an answer, a logic explanation as to why everything fell apart out of the blue. I have been doing this mostly because no matter how many times you hurt me, I can’t let go. I care too much, I worry about you and you can’t seem to understand it. I tried to talk to you, but you never had time, everything else was more important, you made me feel so fucking useless. And when you did have time, you made me feel like I was being a small child, fighting over imaginary problems that didn’t exist for you. You never explained anything to me, you just decided to push me apart. Even though I had told you how something like this fucked me up so much, even though I told you how much I cared, how much I needed you and how much I valued our friendship. It seems like I am easily replaceable and no matter how hard I try, there is always going to be someone that wins over your attention, and without even trying to. I tried one more time, but I feel so broken that right now I am going to stop trying. It is not easy for me, hell, this hurts a lot. But this is not helping. Things are getting kind of bad again, and all the fights took everything from me and made me feel worse than ever, not to mention that my anxiety is coming back and all the stress is making it awful to stand. I love you to pieces, but it is time to start loving myself again, and you were draining me too much. I only hope that you actually cared for me, and that all the nice things that you said to me were true, because all the things I said were. Deep down I will always be waiting, you have a special place in my heart. But for now, I am letting go, as much as it hurts.

-A