they can take it up with me later if they want to

A Date with Tamaki

Admin:  This is part of a one-time-only series featuring host x guest.


Guest:  Oh Tamaki, take me away from this horrid place!  I’ve had the worst week ever!  My parents limited my monthly income to just $10,000, my hair isn’t silky smooth because of the humidity, and I have to wait until tomorrow for my shipment of mega expensive and especially designed for me make up to come in!  

Originally posted by dailyohshc

Tamaki:  *gasp*  That’s terrible, Princess!  Here, why don’t we go on a romantic  adventure so you can forget all your woes.  *grabs her hands*  Look deep into my eyes, count to 10, and you’ll immediately feel better.  

Originally posted by dailyohshc

Guest:  Oh Tamaki… *blush* 

*1 hour later*  

Guest:  You brought me to a commoner’s playground?  

Tamaki:  Of course!  What could be more romantic than a stroll in a park?  Sure there are commoners here, but you said yourself you wanted to forget your troubles!  Oh look!  A swan boat on the pond!  Let’s go!  We can pedal around for a while!

Originally posted by dailyohshc

Guest:  *internal soliloquy*  … Manual labor?!?!?!  Maybe he’ll take off his jacket and roll up his sleeves *swoon* 

Tamaki:  *oblivious to guest when faced with the compelling charms of commoner life* 

I feel
Useless, ugly, weak, pitiful, annoying, helpless, embarrassed, my insides a hot tingling disgusting muck of an awful girl
I want to get punch in the nose
I want to scream at the top of my lungs but either no one will hear me or I’ll make a fool of myself I want to run away Bad thoughts/ memories play over and over in my head and I can’t get it out It’s all a cycle, I go through the exact same thoughts, emotions, I feel like an extremely sad robot I’m ashamed because some one who I truly love has to come home everyday and pick up this broken messy girl, and put her back together which is an exhausting tast. What if he gets tired of it? If he can’t take it anymore?

How I Accidentally Tamed a Puma

So me and two others were playing a one shot since the dm wanted to get back into practice, and he said that he’ll make any characters we bring work. Essentially all of our characters lost their memories and we needed to go on a treasure hunt to get them back.

So our characters go through the forest amd encounter a displacer beast, which was essentially a puma but with magic and goo. After a while of beating it down, we hear more meows and giggles and realize we were getting surrounded by a lot of pumas.

I knew this and panicked

Me: I’m going to carry the Puma and run!

DM: Alright, roll for a strength check

Me: //ends up rolling, after mods, a 22//

DM: //sighing exasperated// You SOMEHOW manage to lift the displacer beast and take off running away from the sounds.

Later on while running we end up near the black knight which is WAY stronger than any of us and I rolled for animal handling to calm the Puma and not die of claws. We eventually get rescued by this one NPC and he heals up the displacer beast.

Me: Is Lucky going to be okay??

DM: Wait you named it Lucky?

Me: He’s a handsome boy!

DM: Alright so Lucky is healed up, he’s purring all happy like.

Me: Wait wait wait, does this mean that I can keep him?

DM: Roll me animal handling

Me: //rolls a nat 20//

DM: //head in hands// Lucky has for some reason decided that he likes you and he is now essentially your pet. Congrats, you just tamed one of the most feared creatures in the forest.

It’s a [Tinder] Date! (Part 1/3)

Summary: Thinking he needs to find a date, Natasha signs Steve up to Tinder. In Queens, Peter Parker does the same to you. It’s a match! 

Word Count: 1,723

A/N: This is already planned out and written (in my head). I loved writing this.

Originally posted by imaginingbucky


Nat raised a brow, a mysterious curve to her smile. Steve was immediately suspicious. He felt his shoulders stiffen and his back straighten. He knew he looked like he had a stick up his ass, but he couldn’t help himself. Not when Natasha looked like the cat that had eaten the canary, and wanted to get caught.

“You left your phone on the coffee table,” she said. Her tone was relaxed, which made Steve more nervous.

His eyes narrowed. “What did you do, Romanoff?” he questioned, broad arms crossing over an equally-broad chest.

She merely shrugged before she turned her right-hand palm-up and relaxing it. Steve’s phone was revealed. “See for yourself.”

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And now for something completely different.

Me and CK are back from the trip to Georgia. We’ll soon be back to our regularly scheduled askblog comic. In the meantime here’s some pictures from when I made the AFAC crew in the Sims 4 and goofed off. Cause why not.

Had to split them into a few separate households cause there’s a lot of ‘em. I made them with the idea being that this is some sort of slice-of-life-where-everyone-is-humans AU.

I had Toriel adopt Aidrian because I didn’t want Frisk’s biological parents in my sim funtimes. Might add Jason’s family later once I’ve sussed out with CC what his parents and siblings look like.

…Nice pose Chara. >u>

It’s weird that Alphys is the same height as Undyne in sims, cause all sims are the same height depending on their age. At least Undyne is ripped and Alphys is squishy. That will have to do.

I had them be married from the start, cause why not. And since Sims 4 has a lot of cool gender-related options available now, I set Alphys as “able to make sims pregnant” so that they could have biological children in the future. Again, cause why not.

The skelleton fam. Again it’s weird that Sans is the same height as everyone but this will do. Had to take a lot of creative liberties with the hair and skin, but I’m pretty happy with the results.

And last but certainly not least, Mettaton and Napstablook. Mettaton took the most advantage of all the gender-related stuff. He is male, has a female bodytype, a male voice, feminine clothes except for the formal outfits which are suits, makeup, a feminine hairstyle, and he’s “able to impregnate sims”.

AFAC-Napstablook is agender, but unfortunately they do not have this option in sims, so they’re set as male in the game. Same with Frisk and Chara who are set as male and female respectively.

Shenanigans below the cut~

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Submitted by @ lord-of-the-dark-realms 

Siblings

So, I had this thought after reading several stories about humans giving birth and not having eggs.  What if aliens do not have ‘family units’ the same way humans do, but instead raise children in more of a group setting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captain H'roll'ah was excited to have hired on not just 1 but 3 humans, all of whom were extremely qualified for space travel.  Even better, they were all from the same clan and so there would be no rivalry or refusal to work together because of old scores to settle.

“Captain! Three humans just came in a have taken over the dining area! WHAT SHOULD WE DO?!?” Ensign Khralhen was out of breath and panicked, but his species was notoriously afraid of humans after it became public knowledge how dangerous they were.  Not that his own was much better, but H'roll'ah knew that these humans should be here and it was probably near a meal time for them.  How could such an evolutionary advanced and apated species not figure out a way to avoid needing 3 or meals a day was beyond H'roll'ah.

“It is fine, Ensign Khralhen.  These are likely the Humans that I just signed on to the crew.  They are from the same clan, so they should work at peak efficiency,” the Captain answered, trying to put as much calm and soothing into his voice as possible, “Let us go introduce ourselves and welcome them so that the ‘pack-bonding’ can begin.”

~~

“Greetings, I am Captain H'roll'ah and this is Ensign Khralhen, our cook.”

“Nice ta meetcha! Cook, huh? Guess we best buddy up to you right quick then!” said the male.  He was average height for a human and perhaps a little on the heavy side, but H'roll'ah knew that it was likely muscle not fat.  After all, this human and one of his female companions were security personnel.

“Always thinking with you stomach, Thomas.  How about you buddy up to the Captain, so that we do not get kicked off this boat? Hmm?” said the smaller female, later identified as Samantha or “Sam” for ease.  "Small" being used only in comparison because she did not have the bulk of her clanmates.  She must be the medical officer.  H'roll'ah was worried that she would be distant from her clanmates but her body language suggested extreme comfort and trust, above what H'roll'ah felt for his own clanmates of different castes.  The third human, Laura if the captain remembered correctly, remained silent but was constantly looking around, as if expecting an attack at any moment, not that strange considering all that H'roll'ah had hear about Earth.

“Well then, please tell me what times that the three of you eat, and I will prepare food for you then.  Also, please tell me any dietary restrictions you have so that you do not have any medical incidents,” Khralhen said, realizing that the humans could be bribed with food as easily as a Con'valix could be bribed with fruits.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

(3 Months Later)

Captain H'roll'ah was surprised at how well the humans worked together.  He thought that they might exceed standard human operating efficiency by 10%, but regularly they were 20-25% better than the reported average.  They barely needed to vocalize to communicate, and they were able to remember each other’s needs and the needs of the crew extremely well.  Captain H'roll'ah decided to ask them how they did it, and if it was a clan trait, where he could hire more humans of clan “Walker.”

“Thomas clan Walker, do you have a few minutes to talk about personal matters?” The captain asked, assuming that Thomas would, since he was off shift and relaxing in the lounge.

“Sure thing, hoss.  What can I do for you?  And I hope this isn’t about my or Laura’s tattoo’s, because we had to settle a bet on that a few days ago,” Thomas answered easily.  He was a bit flippant for the captain’s taste, but his results were impeccable and the other humans followed his lead, which spoke volumes for the man.  

“I was hoping that you could explain how you and your clanmates have achieved such a high efficiency rate.  You perform well above average, even for clanmates who grew up together.”

“Clanmates? Oh, that’s right! Sam mentioned that your species, and most species on this ship raise their young in a group setting and the kids hatch from eggs, right?”

“That is correct, and please do not remind me that human females carry their young in their bodies like a parasite.  The last time Sam explained that, it was enough to make all of us wonder how humans have managed to reproduce at all.” H'roll'ah still shuddered when he thought of it, and Khralhen wasn’t able to cook for 3 days after Sam had explained human reproduction.

“Fair enough, I think we reproduce more by accident that anything else, but yeah.  Me, Laura, and Sam are not clanmates like you think,” Thomas chuckled and shook his head, “We are siblings.”

“I do not know this word,” H'roll'ah answered uneasily.  In his experience, an unknown term from a human meant that something painful, gross, horrifying, or all 3 was about to be revealed.

“Sam could explain it better, and having Laura here only seems fair…” Thomas trailed off as he reached for his comm.  "Hey, brats (again with the casual disrespect), can you both get up to the lounge? Captain wants to know about siblings.“ H'roll'ah was always surprised that Thomas clan Walker could be disrespectful when asking for others to do something.

“Sure, be right up,” Sam responded.  She was likely a floor up in the medical facilities and wanted to take a break.

“Grrhhrhhgg.” Laura clan Walker had been sleeping, then, and did not want to come.

“Thanks, ladies, you can both explain family better than me.”  Now the captain was worried again because there was a second new word being bandied around.

~~~

“So, captain, a family unit for humans is very small compared to yours of Ensign Khralhen’s,” Sam explained, “A family is usually made up of the mother and/or father or a surrogate who has assumed that role and the children.  It usually numbers no more than 4-7 individuals.”

“But…But…how do you grow or develop? And to place all that burden on only one or two adults, how do they do anything else?” spluttered K'roll'ah.  He was shocked to find out that humans in the region called ‘America’ did not have an open community.

“Well, children who share 1 or both parents are called “siblings”, and they develop together.  The adults are called “parents”, and yeah, there is a definite loss of freedom involved.“

“So then, you three are…siblings?” H'roll'ah asked.

“Yes, Thomas is the oldest, and Laura is the youngest, with me in the middle,” answered Sam, “and our father bailed on us after Laura was 3 years old, so Tom became the ‘man of the house’ at 7 years old.”

THAT explained Thomas clan Walker’s attitude! Captain H'roll'ah realized that Thomas clan Walker had been in a command position and not had a commander from a young age!

“So that is why you both follow him? He is the new leader”

“Kind of, he is just the best at leading.  He knows what to do and does it well.” Laura answered, which was rare; she was the most quiet of the three.

“And the reason for your peak efficiency?” Captain H'roll'ah asked, determined to get an answer to his question.

“Well, we have known each other all our lives and spent most of those lives in close proximity to each other.  We just understand each other from the long familiarity and exposure.”

“Ah, the same way a pilot becomes better from being on the same ship, just with a person instead.”

“Exactly! And if you are interested in hiring others we are familiar with, we have some cousins, children of our parents’ siblings, who we know very well and want to get into space.”

“Then I will look them up, thank you for answering my questions." 

Humans were a strange species.  Instead of focusing on a large community, they developed close bonds with only a few people who share familial ties with them.  Captain H'roll'ah did hire the 'cousins’ and they worked out very well.  The human guidebook was updated to notify captains that humans sharing close blood ties have the potential to perform at higher than normal efficiency.  

~~

Now somebody write a story about a captain hiring siblings who hate/cannot stand each other!

heartbreak chronicles {2} | M

PT 1 | PT 2 ONGOING

Contains: smut, sexting {fuckboy!jimin}

Words: 5,764

Summary: Park Jimin had it all — good grades, a place as the soccer team’s captain and, more than that, the broken hearts of at least half the campus’ population. Though, one thing he did not have was someone willing to break his heart and, after you were dragged inside a miraculous plan to play that part, the last thing counted on was the preposterous idea that, perhaps, you could fall for him as well.

[img cr]

A/N: Can you believe that I managed to come up with a quick update? Me neither.

Monotone, drowning in tedium — that was how your first Monday class begun. Somewhere deep inside your mind, you could hear your teacher going on about an empty subject, filling the air inside the classroom with disconex sentences and incomprehensible claims; your own perception far beyond the yellowed walls of that room. Perhaps, sitting on the last row was not helping your lack of focus; but, much to your personal bliss, Jennie was right next to you, taking the notes you would make sure to use later.

In all honesty, your mind was in the same location as before: the party. Equivalent to what unfolded during the weekend, the story repeated itself amidst your tired daydreams; dragging your consciousness towards the bubbling, divergent feelings inside your chest. Unlike what you first expected, the anguish and guilt of your acts did not last longer than the ride back to your dorm, instead morphing into a sense of curiosity. After all, there were so many details that you waited to be presented with — the second step, the collateral damage it would have on your friendship and, more than anything, Jimin’s reaction.

You just did not expect it would come that instant.

The cloudy preoccupations of your chaotic thoughts dissipated as a light buzz sounded below you, your phone lighting up with a new notification. With a frown, you stared down at the illuminated screen, eyes falling to the white text.

The second you read it, your heart skipped a beat.

[10:22] Jimin: we need to talk

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A Target Retales PSA

Hey guys.

So I’ve got some bad news and I’ve got some good news. 

The bad news: I’m now on medical leave from work.

I’ve been struggling with some medical issues for years now, but they’ve been progressively getting worse and worse, and now I’m at a point where I just can’t be on my feet or just generally active for more than a few minutes at a time, let alone long enough to work a shift. 

Doctors have been struggling to figure out a diagnosis. So far all that we know is that it’s probably something neurological. I’ve got some tests this week that hopefully will shed some light on things, but honestly, I’m not overly optimistic. So until things get figured out and I can get some sort of treatment started, I’m on leave from work.

Which means no new retales for the time being.

The good news: This does not mean I’m out of content.

I’ve had a lot of projects I’ve been working on/wanting to work on for a while now, but between work and the physical/emotional toll that going through work, I haven’t been able to give them my full attention. Thankfully, being bedridden goes hand-in-hand with digital content in my case.

I’ve got a Target Retales podcast in the works! In fact, the first episode is going to be published later tonight!

I’ve got a YouTube channel! A lot of you are subscribed, but I’ve neglected it for the last couple of months. But now I’m back in action, posting at least once a week if not twice, and I’ve got some great plans for videos coming up!

I’ve got a couple other podcasts in the works! I’ve teased the one wherein I over-analyze pop media and expose the terrifying truths of fictional universes (Lightning McQueen is an abuser?), and I’m planning a scripted D&D comedy series!

And I’ve been teasing one huge project for months and months now, but I’ve had to put it off for a while with everything going on, but now I can finally buckle down and get to work on it, so I feel ready to let you guys in on the secret.

I’m working with an agency and writing a Target Retales book.

So even if I’m not releasing new stories, there’s still a TON of content coming, both Retales-related and not!

Wanna help me out?

There is, of course, the catch. While I’m super excited to be able to work on all of my projects, I’m now not able to work at work, which is, you know, how money is made.

I’m not in any sort of financial crisis, so I won’t be asking for donations or anything, but if you like my content and would like to support me, this would be a great time to check out my Patreon. I’m going to be adding some new perks and changing things up in the near future, but I can guarantee there will be all sorts of fun things in store if you decide to help me out here. In fact, any current Patrons or new Patrons who join by the end of the month will receive a hand-written letter from me, including unreleased Retales and a few stickers.

In Summary:

I’m taking medical leave from work, no new Retales will be released but all sorts of projects are still in the works, including a podcast and a book, and I’m offering a cool bonus if you support me during this rough patch on my Patreon.

Thank you all so much for all the support you’ve shown me since the start. I wouldn’t be where I am without you and I hope you enjoy the content I continue to make.

Forget me not

It’s been about a year since my last Miraculous Ladybug fanfic list. Given the fandom is three years old and season 2 is right around the corner (hopefully), I believe it’s time to relive and explore some of the best fanfics the fandom has to offer. By no means is this list comprehensive. Many fics aren’t on here. (I’m working on a list for newer fics, so stay tuned!)

Rainy Days by @thelastpilot (Not rated)
A storm rolls through Paris and refuses to let up, so when a water fearing cat is rescued by the kind efforts of his designing classmate he starts to pay a little closer attention to someone he should have always known better.

he’s not a siren by @miraculousturtle (Rated T)
Merman AU. Their meeting is orchestrated by fate, conducting them one at a time to step on the stage. With the flick of the baton, in time, they will sing the same song, but only if they aren’t swept away by the ocean’s mighty waves.

An Unexpected Surprise by @sweetprincessluck (Rated M)
Adrien Agreste. Age 26. A successful international supermodel, currently changing careers to a CEO of a fashion empire. Was born and raised in Paris, had moved to the USA 6 years ago, came back for a visit. Kind, handsome, lonely. Had experienced a lot, had seen even more. Had nothing left that could surprise him anymore.Except, maybe, this - a small, blonde girl, with emerald eyes and freckles scattered across the bridge of her nose – a splitting image of his mother Lillian Agreste, excluding, perhaps, the freckles.Her name was Emma. Emma Dupain-Cheng, to be exact.

Obsession by @kryallaorchid (Rated T)
Miraculous has unintended side effects. A chance encounter leaves Chat Noir in Marinette’s magic hands. Scritch and scratch, this kitty has needs. MariChat. 

Smoulder by @midnightstarlightwrites (Rated T)
In which Adrien loses a bet and becomes an underwear model, Marinette loses her mind, and the whole fiasco starts a fire which might lead to the pair discovering their identities.

Retrouvailles by @gigiree (Rated G)
There’s an art to telling stories. There’s an art to ending them. Just know that saying “the end” is just another way of saying it’s a new beginning. When she says goodbye, her luck is gone. His has just begun.Tattoo and Flowershop AU!

Over the Wall by @imthepunchlord (Rated G)
The accident, while unintentional, was costly. For her wrong doings against Chloe, Marinette is sent over the wall to die. But instead of death, she winds up in a strange, unnerving world. Good thing she’ll have a cat to watch her back in this bizarre place.

Chasing the C/h/atwalk by @runningoutofink (Rated T)
Paris. The city of lights, love and fashion. Follow the progress of Marinette Dupain Cheng as she enters the extremely competitive world of Reality television for a chance to be the winner of Project Runway: France.

Lucky Us by @geek-fashionista (Rated T)
-AU- Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s life isn’t going as planned: twenty-six, recently dumped, and running her parents’ bakery. The highlights of her day are the emails sent by her mysterious pen pal, Chat Noir. That is, until handsome model Adrien Agreste starts swinging by the bakery after hours. But how is he to know the Ladybug he loves is standing right in front of him?

Guardians by @wintermoth (Rated T)
In the year 2015, Marinette Dupain-Cheng said yes to Tikki, the kwami of Creation. Two days later, Adrien Agreste said yes to Plagg, the kwami of Destruction.For the first time in over a thousand years, the cat and the bug were starting fresh. (immortal AU)

Découvrir by @xiueryn (Rated M)
A decade apart and he still remembered her. Marinette contacts her childhood friend in hopes of rekindling their forgotten relationship despite him being a celebrity, only to assume him to be someone else entirely. AU.

Bare Necessities by @reyxa (Rated M)
Art School AU where Adrien is the nude model in Marinette’s human figure class. Major sin warning but it’s more awkward than sexy. Definitely not for little ears… or eyes I guess…

Serendipitous Fate by @skaylanphear (Rated M)
Adrien is excited to reveal his true identity, while Marinette is terrified. But Master Fu says they can’t afford to be distant any longer. Chat Noir and Ladybug are meant to work in tandem both in and out of uniform, their strength stemming from the bond created between them. Yet, teenagers are sometimes better at dancing blind than running with wide open eyes, even with the steps laid out before them.Steps in the path of an expanding world. Apart, they’ll flounder. But together, they might just stand a chance.

Tikki’s New Friend by @panda013 (Rated G)
The dog was easily the height of his chest, and the young woman walking it could have only come up to his shoulder. But she was just cheerfully walking along beside the dog, chatting and laughing happily with a redheaded young woman. The dog was a big black beast—he didn’t know the breed then, nor did he particularly care, but it whined pitifully when its equally dark-haired owner paused to read a street sign. She just giggled and reached out a hand to ruffle its fur, and the giant’s tail wagged happily.

heartstrings by @zenwisterias (Rated T)
one of marinette’s rare unlucky days turns into something treacherous. thanks to a certain cat, the real danger passes, but there are other things to be more afraid of. her heart, for example, might be one of them.

The Ladybugs and the Bees by @bullysquadess (Rated M)
This originally started as a fanfic about periods and just devolved into crack.

You Don’t Know Me by @ferisae (Rated T)
When Ladybug suffers a near-fatal accident and is presumed dead, it is up to Adrien - who has discovered Ladybug’s secret - to help her through her painstaking recovery and reacquaint her with herself. All this while trying to save Paris on his own without losing himself in the process.

Satisfaction Brought It Back by @siderealsandman (Rated E)
Most people rekindled friendships with people from high school over Facebook or Twitter. Most people met for coffee, shared pictures of their bratty children, and sent old friends Christmas letters once a year. Marinette was clearly not most people as she had somehow hooked up with her former high school crush on a bondage dating website and didn’t know it until he was standing in front of her with an identical look of bemused embarrassment plastered all over his pretty face.

A Werecat in London by @i-am-thornqueen (Rated M)
After an unfortunate encounter with an akuma while in London on a business trip, Chat Noir is forced to deal with the unexpected consequences. Can Ladybug help him return to his normal self, or will he be stuck for the rest of his life getting in touch with his wild side?

tangled ribbons by @demistories (Rated G)
Marinette is a small studio dancer who wins a scholarship to a summer long ballet intensive. Adrien is a famous ballet dancer who would rather be at home than at said intensive. The end of the summer will bring about a showcase that could make Marinette’s career, if she can ignore Chloé and focus on something other than Adrien.

The Space Between Us by @chassecroise (Rated T)
What’s a ladybug to do when her kitten becomes a cat?

Accident of the Evening by @thatwriterchickrachel (Rated T)
Adrien Agreste, rumoured royalty, just wants a normal life. But one night on the run he meets Marinette, a normal girl, with a normal life. Marinette can’t believe it. Her long-time celebrity crush had crashed into her life and was now hanging out with her and her friends in between his busy schedule.With the Annual Parisian Masquerade Ball approaching, and an announcement sure to change everything looming over them, the two young adults begin a friendship and a double life.

Emergence by @artisticflutter (Rated M)
They were only teenagers, but they are no more. Forced to awaken to new powers, both find themselves codependent on the other in order to survive and escape from their captors. They are Ladybug and Chat Noir - they are Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste. Part One of a possible series.

The Lights that Lead Us Home by @oceanspray5 (Rated G)
Based on @piku-chan’s Cinderella AU on Tumblr. Marinette remains at the Palace to train as a noble and Adrien takes on more responsibilities as King. The wedding is planned for the Prince and his Princess and despite any outside meddling forces, goes off without a hitch.

Le Chat Noir by ParadiseAvenger (Rated E)
Le Chat Noir was the most popular strip club in Paris. Marinette could explain how she wound up there the first time, but she couldn’t explain how she kept coming back.

The Wingman Visits by @niuniente (Rated M)
When Chat Noir finds out Ladybug’s real identity as Marinette, he also discovers her huge crush for Adrien. As a gentleman he is Chat Noir offers to be a wingman between Marinette and Adrien, trying to get them together.

Sealed away by @ashesandhoney (Rated T)
Five years ago, Ladybug left Paris and left Chat Noir to learn how to keep it together on his own.Marinette is back in Paris with an internship at the Agreste Fashion house trying to get the spring show up and running and as much as Adrien appreciates having a friend at work, he’s distracted by Ladybug’s return and more Akuma attacks than either of them have faced before.Something big is coming and nothing can stay sealed away forever.

Cut from the Same Cloth by @baneismydragon (Rated T)
When Gabriel notices that Adrien is collecting various supplies from his office, he assumes that his son has finally decided to show an interest in the family business. However when he tries to show his support by showing up at a school presentation, things quickly spiral out of control and everyone learns more than they bargained for

Désolé by @pozolegirl (Rated G)
‘The Cat’s out of the Bag’ as Adrien would say, and now Marinette and Adrien must work through their emotions during this new reveal of identities, all while Hawkmoth is hot on their trail and not about to let them slip away from him, taking matters into his own hands.

Sing the Song of Sailing Sirens by @princessofharte (Rated T)
Adrien Agreste is the Pirate Lord of the High Seas, chasing a British flagship until Le Chat Noir is blown off course into a green storm.

This is not a complete list of the best fics in the fandom. Many of these authors have written multiple fanfics for this fandom and they are all amazing. Indeed, many of the fics on AO3 with the most hits, the most kudos, and the most comments were other fics not mentioned here but completed by many of these authors. Every work of fanfiction is amazing. If you want to help encourage writers to write more awesome fanfiction, please leave a comment on their works. It can be as short as “This is great!” Seriously. We live off validation.

It’s not narcissism if I add in my own fic here, right?

Was there anything I missed? Leave it in the reblogs and spread the word so that others–including myself–can read it!

Seeing all this stuff about the Alex Tizon discourse is making me wanna throw up. 

Listen. What they did? It’s slavery. We know. We get it.  But it’s not your slavery, it is a product of the broken system which we have been mired in, one which America has been directly complicit in. It’s an unfortunate case, horrifying, not entirely unexpected, but not exactly the norm. The issue here is that foreigners are trying to put words in our mouth and making this discussion about them instead of letting Filipinos process this and have a proper conversation about it without them shutting us down and screaming BUT SLAVERY!!! APOLOGISTS!!! not only that but they’re deliberately misunderstanding our language and honorifics, they are making things out to be something they’re not.

The system is broken. Any Filipino can tell you that. Yelling at us isn’t going to fix it unless you can somehow fix an entire culture with a press of a button and magically remove 400 years of colonialism and oppression, both by foreigners and fellow Filipinos, which has directly contributed to how desperate and helpless our people have become. It just doesn’t work that way.

But what really pisses me off about this? It’s because we’ve already been silenced before. We have been colonized, mistreated, our culture erased and labeled as inferior, our country gutted for resources and labor and this is still happening, just now its happening on more socially acceptable terms. 

Context and the underlying culture does matter, especially when our culture has already been so abused and erased that we have no idea what kind of culture or history we would have had if it hadn’t been beaten out of us by colonizers for 400 years, even the name of our country, our very identity. To this day we still struggle with our identity as a people, with the colonial mentality and nation-wide inferiority complex instilled in us by colonizers.

Keep in mind that every time you yell at us about how culture doesn’t matter, you’re all slavery apologists, without taking into consideration our views, our culture and the system which contributes to this, and how people are still working to correct it despite the fact that progress will likely not come for another 20? 30? years maybe even longer. Progress is slow when you live in a country where every system is designed against you. We are seeing people from a country which oppressed us, attempting to once again erase our narrative and tell us they know better, perhaps then you can forgive us for being wary of foreigners dismissing our culture and views to propagate their own.

Theory time.........

There was something about this whole narrative, that wasn’t adding up for me. I was having a hard time putting my finger on it, then Camila released that description about her album, and it started making more sense.

They want us to believe, this whole narrative took place in 2016, but when you remember back and realize, the 2016 narrative was just a revamped version of the 2015 narrative, it all begins to fall into place.

Everyone latched on to that July 4 2016 Brazil snap, of her alone, writing in a hotel bathroom, while the girls were out celebrating together, as the time she began writing “I have questions”. That’s exactly what Management hoped you’d do. If one paid attention though, you would see that the more important snap happened back in October 2016. She snapped a photo of her writing in a bathroom, with the caption ”destroyed”. First, July - October does not equal 6 months, no matter how crappy your math is. Second, the 7/27 tour was coming to an end, and with that caption, I actually think, that is when she finished writing “I have questions”.

The only tour date they had in early 2016, was Dubai. So, unless she started writing it in a Dubai potty, the rest of early 2016 was spent promoting WFH. She stated she started writing that song, “a little over a year ago” while on tour. I think her “a little over a year ago” means the last few months of 2015, September-November. That she eventually had to face her problems, and she finally went back to the lyrics she started from the year before, and finished the song, then wrote a sad song every day until she got sick of writing sad shit. That song seems to be a catalyst for her, and I’m thinking it probably  “destroyed” her to finally finish it.

Camila was asked recently, in an interview, when her anxiety showed itself and started becoming a real problem for her. Her answer was, 2015. Everything started in 2015. Her anxiety, the fucking narrative, the division, EVERYTHING!!

Keep reading

A Lesson in Love (A Different Perspective)

Summary: (College!AU) In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 4,431

A/N: The tag list for this story is CLOSED. 

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - You are the forever best for editing for me.

Originally posted by skylerlockerbie

“I can’t believe you’ve never been to a track meet before.”

“I’ve never had a reason to come to one,” you say, defending yourself against Wanda’s accusatory tone and disapproving gaze.

“That’s no excuse,” she responds with a click of her tongue. “Now hurry up, we need to secure a good spot.”

You follow her blindly, not knowing what qualifies as a ‘good spot’. Unlike Wanda who has spent years attending track meets with her brother, you’ve never been to one. Like you told her, you never had a reason to attend one. Not until today.

Not until T'Challa.

Keep reading

restingbitchfaceisnotsadface  asked:

"I can start with how I went to marine science camp as a kid and end with that time I accidentally brought a flamethrower into the county courthouse" --- PLEASE EXPLAIN IM SO CONFUSED D:

So, when I was a kid, my parents worked full time, so during the summer, my sister and I were enrolled in day-camp so we’d be adequately tired when we got home, and my FAVORITE  camp was Marine Science Camp, run by MSI on the banks of redwood creek, right off the San Francisco bay.  It was AWESOME: we got to dissect squid, there was a literal shark tank, which we got to fish leopard sharks out of and Tag Them For Scientific Research, ad we’d go out on the boat once a week and do things like haul a net full of fish out, use a scoop to study benthic creatures and look at plankton under a microscope.  I realize now we were essentially doing transects, dissections and other field/lab work for a bunch of grad students but it was FUN.  

I totally wanted to be a marine biologist when I grew up and would tell anyone who asked me what I was into about nematocyts and oceanic acidification until The Adult realized their mistake and fled.

At the same time, I was pursing an aggressive interest in the visual arts, which my parents heavily encouraged, becuase they are excellent parents and because it;s was a QUIET hobby unlikely to result in bodily harm, unlike my sister, who got into karate and Theater, which is a surprising dangerous combination.

But then i got to college and realized an issue with this plan: I, hands down, SUCK at chemistry.  I did okay in into becuase I’m great at taking standardized tests, and the teacher got suspended halfway through the semester for getting into a fistfight with another prof for poaching his grad student, but Organic Chemistry was a disaster.  I’ve never been good at arithmetic, and balancing chemical equations is something i need the dang molecule models for. So marine bio was a No-Go.

So I switched my major over to Art, which turned out to be kind of a disaster (the school managed to lose an entire semester of my grades because the Art Department kept really sloppy records and i ended up dropping out and resuming college elsewhere) and AMAZING, becuase I took a human figure drawing course with professor [REDACTED] who announced on the third day of class:  “SWEET THE FOOLS JUST GAVE ME TENURE.  CAN’T FIRE ME NOW, SO LEMME SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE A FLAMETHROWER”

The thing she actually taught us was how to modify a culinary butane torch to empty the canister at a much higher rate than any manufacturer anywhere recommends, which gives you and AWESOME bigass jet of blue flame, but only lasts about 30 seconds per container.  She also showed us how to make bandeliers so we could carry multiple containers, “just in case”.

In more practical lessons, we were in class when the first gov’t shutdown happened, so we didn’t have money for models, so she oped to bring in various animals for us to draw instead.  there was the usual cats and dogs, but also chickens, horses, a farm hog, a 12-foot Burmese Python and a baby deer that had been abandoned on her porch.  It was really fun, both becuase animals are amazing, and becuase they don’t hold still, so you learn to draw REAL FAST, which is a skill that’s served me well since.

A few years later, I was summoned for Jury Duty, and had to show up at the courthouse for selection.  HOWEVER, I’d put my usual bag in the wash the previous night, so I grabbed my old school backpack to take with me because I knew I had a sketchbook in there to amuse myself with.

I forgot I also had my flamethrower in there.

I live in a pretty low-crime area, so the metal detectors are actually pretty far into the building- you don’t get scanned until you’re actually going into the courtroom.  So for about three hours beforehand, I was sitting in the hallway having a Nice Chat with one of the state park rangers and the CEO of the local call center.  We get called in, and as we walk through, my backpack sets off the alarm.

“Fuck.” I say abruptly remembering what would have set it off.

“Do you have anything metal in your backpack?” the security guy asks me.  I think he was expecting me to say glasses.

“I forgot that I have my flamethrower in here. I’ll just leave this outside.”  I explain, hoping I’m not about to be arrested.

“Please open your bag or leave it outs- your WHAT?”  Dude stops halfway through his routine.

“Flamethrower.  I made it in art class and will definitely be leaving it here.” I say, carefully putting my bag on the table, zipper open , and pointing at the small butane torch.  The guard looks at it, looks at me (pls note, I am small, white, feminine and conventionally attractive so YOU BET privilege was happening here), before deciding that Art People Are Dumb and waving me in after wanding me to make sure I hadn’t accidentally brought anything else in my pockets.

I was not selected for jury duty.

In other news, I still have it, and it still works.  I use it for mass-toasting creme brulee.

The bet

(A/N): YOU GUYS I LOVE PREWAR BUCKY SO MUCH (please send me more prewar requests, I’m begging you)

Request:Hey 👋🏻 ❤ So could I request a 40’s Bucky x reader?the reader is very shy and a friend of Peggy. Bucky is the ladies man. One night they all went to a party and Bucky asked the reader out as a bet she said yes and they became a couple. Bucky begins to fall in love with the reader. After a while she discovers by accident about the bet and her heart got broken. Bucky does not give up on her and tries to win her back! With a happy ending,angst and fluff!! Thank you love you 💛💙

Warnings: angst, swearing, fluff

Tags: @mcuimxgine, @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x, @saradi1018, @holland-toms, @superwholockian309, @fly-f0rever, @capbuckthor, @livandlilah, @callmeoncette


Originally posted by almie18

   Bucky was bored, Steve was bored but Peggy was having the time of her life. The three of them were out celebrating the end of the war, the fact they were still alive; In fact, it seemed everyone was out celebrating their win. The bar was crammed full of men and women, all dancing and drinking, having a jolly good time, everyone except Bucky and Steve. Peggy had had one too many drinks and she was content to talk the entire night away, boring both men into a light sleep. The only thing that woke them up was when Steve accidentally let his head slip out of his hands and he smacked the table, jolting both men awake. Bucky looked around in shock, before looking at Steve who was now rubbing at his red forehead. Bucky snickered softly, shaking his head but his laughter immediately died when his eyes caught something lingering at the entrance. 

   A young girl, around Peggy’s age, was standing at the entrance to the bar, looking rather anxious. Immediately she perked up as she looked in his direction. Bucky thought she was smiling at him but he quickly realized he was wrong when Peggy jumped up and rushed over to her to hug her. 

   "(Y/N), you’re here!“ 

   "I wouldn’t miss out on the chance to see you,” She smiled gently, showcasing her beautiful smile. 

   Bucky looks at the two interacting for quite some time, entrance with (Y/N) but a quick tap to his shoulder quickly snapped him out of his trance.

    “I’ve got a dare for you,” Steve smirks coolly as he folds his arms over his chest. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you go and ask her out,” Bucky looks at him, furrowing his brows. 

   "Okay…what’s the catch?“ 

   "You have to date her for more than four months,”

    “no,” Bucky shakes his head, folding his arms over his chest. “No way, do you know how many days that is that I’d have to go without kissing some cute blonde?” Steve chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

    “What about two hundred?” Bucky purses his lips in thought, humming softly as Peggy and (Y/N) approach the table, still talking to each other animatedly. 

   "Fine two hundred dollars,“ Steve chuckles as he leans back into his seat, closing his eyes once again.

    "Guess you’re gonna be out of two hundred dollars in a month," 

   "Whatever,” Bucky growls to Steve as Peggy and (Y/N) sit down. 

   "Steven, James, this (Y/N), a friend of mine,“

   "Hello,” Steve answers politely, giving (Y/N) a soft smile. Bucky on the other hand was going to be more flirtatious, he did have to win a bet after all.

      “Heya doll,” Bucky leans forward, smiling at (Y/N) smugly. The poor girl blushed madly, her entire face red as Bucky looked at her. 

   "Hi,“ (Y/N) replies quietly, her eyes glued to their hands as she does so. She was shy, Bucky loved the shy ones.

    "She recently moved to Brooklyn-" 

   "Good choice cutie,” Bucky winked at her and Bucky swore he’d never seen a face redder than hers. It was…cute. Most women were throwing themself at his feet, batting their eyelashes and acting all sorts of sweet and innocent but for once Bucky thought he’d found a girl who actually was what all those women pretended to be. She seemed so genuinely moved by his compliments, as though no one had ever called her cute nicknames or told her how cute she was. 

   Oh, Bucky was going to have fun with this one. 


   The “party” had dragged by painfully slow, with Peggy still rambling and (Y/N) occasionally breaking the constant talking with small input here and there. Every now and then Bucky would throw a compliment her way, a ‘your hair is looking fantastic’, or maybe a little something like 'Thats one hell of a dress’. E very time he so much looked her way she ended up blushing madly but nonetheless it always brought a small smile to her rosy cheeks.

    Around 10 Peggy finally crashed, quite literally too. She was slowly talking one second and then the next she was fast asleep. Steve picked her up and carried her home, leaving Bucky and (Y/N) all alone. He was of course going to walk her home, what kind of a man would he be if he didnt? And truthfully he was actually looking forward to some one on one time with (Y/N), she seemed beyond nice and Bucky wanted to get to know her more.

    “(Y/N)’s a gorgeous name,” Bucky states as he walks along, hands shoved in his pockets. Even in the dim lighting of Brooklyn he could see (Y/N)’s wild blush. “And that blush is pretty cute too,” Bucky smirks as (Y/N) cracks a wide smile, hanging her head to hide jus how much of an effect his words had on her. “So (Y/N), you got a man of your own?" 

   "Um no,” (Y/N) whispers, cheeks burning once again. 

   "No?“ Bucky asks dumbfoundedly. "That’s- no- that’s not possible, how can someone like you not be datin’ anyone?” (Y/N) shrugs, her ever present smile still there. 

   "I’m really quiet, guess that’s not something men these days like,“ 

   "I like it,” Bucky supplies rather quickly. “Shy gals are the cutest," 

   "Seems like you’re the only man on the face of the earth who thinks like that,”

    “Good,” Bucky smirks a bit, “more for me,” (Y/N) smiles, a wide toothy thing that had Bucky’s heart fluttering just a bit. “So (Y/N), I was wonderin’ if maybe you’d like to go out on a date sometime, I get if you don’t want to but you seem really nice and I’d love to get to know ya more,” (Y/N) looks at Bucky with a shocked expression, eyes wide and lips parted.

    “Are- are you serious?" 

   "Hell yeah I’m serious,” Bucky smiles at her widely. 

   "You’re not lying to me?“

    "No doll,” Bucky stops walking, turning to face her immediately. “I’m bein’ dead serious, I’d love to take you out for some dinner some time, maybe see a movie, go feed the ducks, whatever the hell you wanna do,” (Y/N) blushes once again but we smile is much brighter and bigger than he had ever seen it. 

   "I’d love that,“ Bucky sighs gratefully, internally chanting and rooting himself on. In five months he was going to have a nice stack of two hundred dollars in his hand… 


    Well- Bucky had fucked up Royally, what had supposed to be nothing more than a stupid bet had quickly turned into something more. Bucky quickly realized what a gem in the rough he’d found, (Y/N) was unlike any other girl he’d ever met. She was abnormally sweet, so caring, beyond adorable, and not to mention the most hilarious person he’d ever met.

    After having spent a couple of years with the military he was used to strong language, crude jokes but what he heard from (Y/N) completely topped anything he hear in the army. It was a huge surprise when one day whilst (Y/N) was cooking a meal for the two of then he quite suddenly heard a loud crash followed by (Y/N)’s feminine voice yelling a short but consice "Fuck!” Bucky didnt think he had laughed that hard in his entire life. But Bucky quickly learned that (Y/N) also had a bit of a feisty side. She was bound and determined to do everything herself, she didn’t need help doing a single thing. While most women would expect him to do everything (Y/N) would most likely punch him if he even thought about doing a single thing for her. She was different and Bucky loved that.

    It didn’t take him long to realize just how screwed he was. A month of dating each other and he realized he was in love. The damn idiot had actually fallen in love. Now, it was the five month mark and Bucky was as anxious for it as he could be. He couldn’t accept Steve’s money now, not after falling in love with (Y/N) and he sure as hell had to tell her about the bet, how horrible would it be of him to not to do so? He’d be the worst boyfriend on the face of the earth but whenever he tried to he’d choke up and refuse to tell her. But now he had really done it. 

   He had meant to tell her that night but then things went a little….sidewards and now he was laying in (Y/N)’s bed, butt fucking naked as he held a sleeping (Y/N). Her skin was still slightly sweaty from precious activities but if he even dared pulled away she’d begin to shiver and whine in her sleep so Bucky stayed by her side, holding her as close as humanly possible. 

   He’d tell her later, after she woke up. He’d make her a nice breakfast (even though she’d probably beat him for it), he try to explain it as nicely as he could and hope for the best. 


    “Wait…” (Y/N) looks at him, her eyes brimming with tears. “Are you- are you being serious?” Her tone was meek and quiet, just like the tone she usually had around anyone but him. Bucky sighs, his stomach twisted up in knots as he nods.

     "Yeah, yeah I am,“

    "I was just- I was just a bet to you?” (Y/N) squeaks, her voice breaking as her tears threatened to spill over. 

   It physically made Bucky sick to see (Y/N) hurting, especially because of him. He’d never seen her cry and the idea that he was the cause of these fresh tears made his heart ache. 

   "In the beginning yes but as soon as I took you on that first date I realized that you meant more than that-“ Bucky stops when (Y/N) sniffles, a single tear rolling down her beautiful cheeks. "Doll, I promise-” Bucky reached out to wipe the tear away but his hand froze in mid air as (Y/N) abruptly stood up, tears now freely sliding down her cheeks, turned on her heel and marched to Bucky’s front door. She grabbed her jacket and hand bag, not even giving Bucky a second glance as she did so.

     "(Y/N), doll, I promise it’s not like that anymore-“

     "Two hundred dollars?” (Y/N) looks at him, her beautiful lips trembling. “Two hundred dollars is all I mean to you?” Bucky’s heart aches, it hurts so fucking much and all he wants to do is reach out and hold (Y/N), comfort her and convince her that she meant the world to him. But before he could even open his mouth to respond (Y/N) slammed the door shut, leaving Bucky all alone in his apartment. 

    Bucky immediately ran to Steve’s place, damn well knowing that Peggy was probably there as well. His fist best upon the door loudly, he panted from the exertion of running god knows how many blocks, and his eyes burned with unshed tears. Immediately the door opened, revealing a rather dishelved looking Steve. 

   "Buck, uh- I’m kinda busy right now-“

    "Yeah, I can see that,” Bucky grumbles as he marches into Steve’s apartment, ignoring Steve’s cries not to. Bucky completely ignored the fact that Peggy was laying naked on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her body as she looked at Bucky in disappointment. “I fucked up Steve, I fucked up so bad," 

   "What? What’d you do?” Steve asks as he slams the front door shut, obviously unhappy with the way things were turning out. “I told (Y/N) about the bet,”

     "you- you- you fucking idiot! Why the hell would you do that?“ 

    "I thought she deserved to know!" 

    "God Bucky, what kind of an idiot does something like that?”

    “I do!" 

   "Wait-” Peggy raises a hand, silencing both boys. “What bet?” Both men sigh in disappointment, knowing that Peggy would beat both their asses for what they did.

     "That day in the bar, the day we returned home,“ 

    "Yes,” Peggy nods, acknowledging the memory.

     "Well I told Bucky that if he could date (Y/N) for a solid five months I’d give him two hundred dollars,“ Peggy looks between the two of them, dumbfounded, and even a bit hurt. The room is silent for far too long, no one says a word as Peggy sits there brewing in her anger. Both of the boys nearly cowered in fear, waiting for Peggy to snap and bite their heads off. 

   "You two-” Peggy whispers quietly, “Are the biggest dicks on the face of this earth!” Peggy chucks a pillow their way, cursing both of them to hell and back. “I can’t believe you’d do that!" 

   "I know,” Bucky cowers in fear as Peggy continues to throw pillows. “We were stupid!" 

   "I ought to get up and beat you to a bloody pulp, both of you!" 

    "Or you can help me fix this with (Y/N)!”

     "Why should I you heartless prick?“ 

    "Because I love her, okay! I love her more than I’ve ever loved anything in this world and I can’t- I can’t lose her,” Peggy finally settles down, looking at Bucky with a now much softer gaze. “I want to fix this, I want (Y/N) to know how much I love her.” Peggy sighs softly as she readjusts her blanket, pulling it up her body a little higher. 

    “She’s not going to be easy to win back, she’s sensitive and she likes to hold a grudge,” Bucky nods, sighing in defeat. “But I know you can win her back James,” Peggy smiles softly, “Plus with a little help from me you’ll be golden,” Bucky smiles, sighing in relief. 

    “Oh thank you so much Peggy, I can’t thank you enough," 

   "You can thank me by getting out of here, I’ll come buy Tommorrow to figure something out, okay?” Bucky nods as he runs a hand through his hair, gripping the strands gently.

    With Peggy’s help he actually had a chance at winning (Y/N) back, there was a glimmer of hope for him. He just hoped that he hadn’t hurt (Y/N) too much, he hoped it wasn’t too late to repair what they had.  


   "She loves the stars,“

     "Yeah, I know that Pegs,”

    “Loves chocolate," 

    "I know that too,”

     "She loves to read-“

     "Peggy, this is all shit I already know-”

    “She likes red wine too,”

    “How is this going to help me at all?”

    “Just combine them all together,” Peggy sighs, shaking her head. “A night under the stars, some chocolate and red wine, pick up a book for her," 

   "Peggy, Brooklyn is covered in snow, how am I supposed to-”

     "Stark has been working on this machine, more like a room really. Find (Y/N), tell her you’ll pick her up at six, I’ll give you directions to the place, you just show up with your stuff and I’ll have everything ready,“ 

    Bucky was a bit reluctant to agree, after all, what if Peggy screwed him over for making the bet? But this was the best plan he had right now so he had to roll with it even if his gut feeling was telling him it was a bad idea.


     Bucky rapped his knuckles against (Y/N)’s door, sighing shakily as he awaited an answer. 

    "Go away,” (Y/N)’s voice was soft, full of insecurity.

     "(Y/N), please just open up,“ 

  "Are you here to rub two hundred dollars in my face?” 

  “No, I’m here to ask you on a date-” 

  “a date? Are you serious?” 

  “Please (Y/N), just open up so I can talk to you,”

   “Why should I?” 

  “Please (Y/N),” Bucky rests his forehead against the cold wood door, sighing as he does. “I’m beggin’ ya doll,” Bucky could hear (Y/N) sigh softly and not a moment afterwards the door swung open, revealing a rather worn down looking (Y/N). Her eyes were puffy and red from crying, her hair was a mess, and the only piece of clothing around her body was an old robe. Even now Bucky found her stunning.

    “So…a date?” 

  “Yeah,” Bucky nods, trying to tear his eyes away from (Y/N)’s gorgeous form. 

   “I’ve picked some stuff up and I’ve got something special planned for us,”

   “Do I have to dress up?” Bucky smiles a bit, shaking his head as he does. 

  “Of course not, wear whatever you want,” 

  “…when do we leave?” 

  “Six,” (Y/N) sighs, resting her head against the doorframe. “I know I hurt you,” Bucky looks at his feet, shame flooding through his system. “It was stupid to even have the bet, I shouldn’t have done that to you and I’m so sorry (Y/N)-” 

  “It’s okay,” (Y/N) shrugs, “Guess it was the only way someone would ever want to date me-”

   “No doll,” Bucky takes a step forward to hold her, just like he usually did when she was hurting but this time he stopped himself, deciding against it. “That’s not true,”

   “that’s why you dated me, right? Had it not been for the bet you wouldn’t even be with me right now, would you?”

      “I don’t- I don’t know doll,” Bucky sighs, looking down to his hands once again.

       “Yeah…that’s what I thought,” Both of them fall silent for a bit, just staring at the ground, each one biting back their own words and feelings, too scared to share them at such a vulnerable moment. “I’ll be ready at 5:45,” (Y/N) finally speaks, their voice so quiet Bucky had to strain to hear it. “You can come pick me up then,” Bucky nods, sighing shakily as he does,

      “Sounds good,” He gave (Y/N) a gentle smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes like it usually did. (Y/N) smiles back, mirroring his expression as she murmurs okay and gently closes the door, leaving Bucky all alone on their doorstep.

     Well, she had said yes, that was a start.


    As promised Bucky was there at 5:45, knocking on (Y/N)’s door gently. Immediately it swung open, revealing the girl herself and holy shit- she damn near took Bucky’s breath away. She wasn’t dressed in anything extravagant, just a simple floral dress, she didn’t even have a lick of makeup on and Bucky still thought she looked far more beautiful than any other woman he’d laid eyes on.

  “You look amazing,” Bucky whispers, his eyes unashamedly raking over (Y/N)’s form. A slight blush rise to her cheeks, the same blush that made Bucky fall in love and suddenly he felt like he was on his first date all over again.

   “Thank you,” (Y/N) whispers all shy and timidly, making Bucky’s heart flutter lightly.

  “I uh- I’d ask to hold your hand but I think you’d break my hand if I did,” Bucky smiles sheepishly as he and (Y/N) make their way down the steps and out onto the open streets. Wordlessly (Y/N) clasps Bucky’s hand in her own, giving it a soft squeeze, a reassuring squeeze. Even when she was mad at him she could help but give into the affection, Bucky loved it. Bucky smiles happily as he guides (Y/N) along, his thumb smoothing circles into her skin as they walked along, venturing further and further away from civilization.

  “Uh- you’re not taking me out here to murder me, are you?” (Y/N) chuckles nervously, looking at the abandoned streets and overpowering weeds in fear.
  “Of course not,” Bucky chuckles. “I’ve just got something special, that’s all,”

  “Is it murder? I bet it’s murder,”

  “It’s not murder,” Bucky chuckles a bit. “I promise,”

  “Well, what’s in the box?” (Y/N) gestures to the small bag Bucky carried in his free hand. It was full of all the materials Peggy told him to bring, chocolate, wine, a good book all he needed was Starks facility and hopefully he was good to go…hopefully…

   The place Peggy had given him the directions to was…run down to put it lightly. It was a crumbling buidling in some old lot, one that barely looked inhabitable but Bucky didnt doubt Peggy, never did and never would.

  “This is the surprise?” (Y/N) asks in disbelief.

  “It’s on the inside,” Bucky mutters, biting his lip as he took a few steps towards the building. He trusted Peggy, he trusted Peggy, he trusted Peggy, he trusted-

   Bucky stops as he enters the building, his eyes roaming around the interior in shock. It was full of stars- not exaggerating. The entire interior was space, he could see all the planets, every star, every little speck of dust in the universe was in this room.

  (Y/N) trails not too far behind, her eyes wide as she stepped in as well. If Bucky thought that was cool it became magnificent when suddenly the stars and planets began to move, orbiting as though they were actually in space.

  “Bucky-” (Y/N)’s voice is quiet, full of surprise as she looks around. She trails off however as they reach out, touching a small star close to them. The thing moved to her hand, sitting there as though an actual fucking star was made to fit in her hand.

   “You like stars, don’t'cha?” Bucky asks as he gently tugs (Y/N) along, to a small spot in the middle of the room. There was already a blanket there (Thanks Peggy) and Bucky sat down, pulling (Y/N) alongside him. She looked around in awe, her eyes twinkling in a way Bucky had never seen before. She looked so beatiful, so full I happiness and curiosity that Bucky wished he could just live in this moment forever, just to watch (Y/N) smiles the way she was smiling. “I also- uh- have some chocolate and wine,” Bucky pulls the two Items out, setting them down on the blanket for (Y/N) to take. “And I know you love poetry and love so-” Bucky chuckles as he pulls out some poetry book he had found at the store. It was chuck full of cheesy romance poems and he knew (Y/N) would simply eat up.

   “You did all this for me?” (Y/N) asks softly, her eyes brimming with tears as she looks at Bucky. Bucky nods, smiling at her so sweetly and so lovingly he was surprised he didn’t develop diabetes.

  “Yeah I did, with a little help from some friends,” (Y/N) smiles, her eyes watering even more as she pounces forward, wrapping Bucky up In a warm, tight hug.

  “Thank you so much,” She whispers as she nuzzles into his neck, breathing in deeply.

  Bucky wraps his arms around (Y/N)’s waist, sighing softly as he finally- finally held her. It felt so good to have her back in his arms, it had only been a few days but even that had been too much for him.

  “Anything for you doll,” Bucky whispers as he kisses the tip of (Y/N)’s ear, a small action that she loved dearly. “I’m so sorry about the bet, I promise you mean so much more to me than some stupid money. The thought of hurting you the way I did makes me sick, I don’t want you to ever think I don’t love you, because I do, I love you so fucking much (Y/N) and I wish I had told you sooner,” Bucky rants as he rubs his nose against (Y/N)’s pulse point, her heartbeat soothing him slightly.

    “I love you too Bucky,” (Y/N) smiles at Bucky, her cheeks now wet with tears. “I love you so much,” Without any hesitation she leans forward, connection her lips with Bucky’s.

     It felt so good to be kissing her, to be able to feel her and hold her, it felt so amazing to know that she knew that he loved her, what was even better was knowing she loved him back. Bucky and (Y/N) loved each other, that’s all that mattered.

    Bucky pulls (Y/N) a little closer, kisses her a little deeper, a little more passionately, a little more sensually-

     “As cute as this moment is,” Howard Stark’s voice blares through the room, breaking the two lovers apart. “I’d like to remind you two not to have sex inside here, I don’t need your bodily fluids all over my experiment, thanks,”

Tips for driving while autistic

I feel like a lot of autistic people have a lot of trouble driving and getting their license. For many people that’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with that, y'all are valid in every possible way. Unfortunately, many of us live in cities where public transportation might as well not exist, in food deserts, in situations where we do not have people who can drive us places, in cities which make bike riding life-threatening and sometimes illegal. I would like to reiterate: there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being able to drive. The fucked up thing is a system which forces people to drive. This is intended to be suggestions for autistic people in similar situations to mine: in a food desert, no public transit, not enough money to pay for uber, etc.

Tips for driving while autistic and things to be prepared for:

-if you start dissociating and don’t feel that you can drive safely, pull over if you can. If there’s no clear place to pull over, get as far to the side as possible and turn your hazards on (this is the button with two red triangles, one inside of the other)

-keep plenty of water in the car. Keep food in the car too, but to prevent mice and rats from being tempted to investigate, keep the food in tightly sealed containers.

-if you miss the turn, it’s ok. I promise, it’s ok. Just take the next turn. Usually you’ll still be able to get to your destination by taking the next turn, and if not, it’ll give you a chance to pull over and re-evaluate or turn around.

-people will use some body language to indicate what they are intending to do. A waving hand means, “you go ahead of me.” A still hand, palm out means, “I’ll go first/thank you.”

-if you’re driving down a street too narrow for two cars, and you meet a car going in the opposite direction, just pull over for a second. Or if it’s super narrow, someone may have to back out of the street. It’s not a big deal. Try to be nice in those situations and they usually will be too. For that matter, sometimes I have to swerve slightly into the lane of incoming traffic because of bicycles and that happens too. People around you will do their best to compensate, but try to make sure you’re giving them enough time and warning for them to compensate (use your turn signal or hazards and spend as little time in the wrong lane as possible).

-no one wants to crash. Usually if you do something stupid the people around you will compensate and avoid you, although you might get some honks and middle fingers (yeah, mentally prepare for that)

-in terms of speed limit, it’s usually better to match the cars around you. The actual speed on a road is usually about 5mph over the posted speed limit.

-it doesn’t matter if you are going 15mph over the speed limit. There are still assholes who will tailgate you. (Meaning they will drive really close behind your car attempting to intimidate you into driving faster) The key thing to remember is that they also don’t want to crash, which means all they will do is intimidate. Because I’m an asshole and I hate tailgaters, I usually slow down when someone starts tailgating me. Remember: do not start driving faster. Police will ticket the person in front (aka you) because that person is “setting the speed” and they will not ticket the tailgater.

-parking is stressful, especially in downtown areas. Be prepared to wander for a while looking for parking and factor that into your drive time.

-some places no longer require you to learn to parallel park. Please learn anyway if you feel able. It will make finding parking a lot easier later on.

-bicycles will always be where you least expect them. Always. Especially if it’s illegal for them to be there. Just be prepared for them being anywhere and everywhere and not following the laws of traffic at all.

-the first time it rains or snows in the fall/winter, literally everyone will have forgotten how to drive. It’s a thing. Be prepared for the roads to be chaotic

-the most difficult part is the test itself. That’s the part where you disregard everything I’ve said about how driving actually works and just obey the letter of the law the best you can. Don’t forget you can retake the test if need be. Also, there will often be reviews online talking about which DMV in your area has the easiest test route.

-I try to do meditation breathing a lot while I’m driving under stressful circumstances. It’s very helpful for me

I hope this is helpful. If anyone else has any other tips for driving while autistic, I would be glad to hear them.

Edit: I can’t believe I forgot this! I’ve found that certain types of stimming can be somewhat dangerous while driving. I’d say chewing stims are fine, vocal stims are cool, but I would hold off on the visual and physical motion stims until you’ve had quite a bit of driving practice. Auditory stims are somewhat ok, but be careful to make sure you can still hear sirens and stuff (also earbuds/headphones while driving are illegal in many places)

-turn signals can basically function as a way of telling people around you “hey, pay attention! I’m about to do something!” Even if you’re just changing lanes or are swerving around an open car door you can use them to communicate that people should be ready for you to do something unexpected.

-traffic will stop much more quickly than you expect. Always keep an eye on the brake lights ahead of you.

magic touch bond au
  • i keep thinking of a magical au where jack and bitty wake up
  • like after a party or something and they’re both in excruciating pain
  • and so all the guys are freaking out and they sort of piece together that jack and bitty are being affected by the same thing
  • so holster hauls a screaming bitty into jack’s room and dumps him on the bed next to jack and the moment they touch everything…stops
  • why yes, it’s our old friend, the Forced to Be Touching At All Times Trope

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What’s up, it’s Alexei!

When Ngozi posted this picture yesterday of young post-draft Tater “trying his darnedest to answer press questions in English,” I thought, “You know, I could make a play fic out of that.” Which is what led to the following 2700+ words about Tater and his ESL tutor.

Many, many thanks to @ktheunready for being my Russian authenticity consultant and beta!


Georgia Martin stood at the back of the media scrum and watched Alexei Mashkov stumble his way through his post-draft interview, saw the way his fingers kneaded the brim of the brand-new Falconers’ cap he’d been handed for the initial official photos, saw the way his eyes widened and stayed intently glued to whoever was asking him a question, like he was afraid he’d miss some key bit of meaning if he blinked.

She pulled out her phone and made a call.

***

«No, Mama, I promise, my room is very nice. The family is very nice. Everything is very…»

«Let me guess, nice? »

Alexei sighed. «Yes.»

«You know I don’t doubt you, right, Alyosha? I’m not worried you can’t do this. You will be fine. But I know this is your first time to live in another country, with none of the boys from your teams here. It can be… hard, sometimes. I know.»

«Yeah, Mama, I know. You told me.»

«Are you telling me you’ve heard the stories of my youth too many times?» she asked in mock outrage.

«No, no!» he laughed. «Of course not.»

«Good. I should think not.» He could picture her face exactly, and it made him smile. «I’m glad your host family seems nice, Alyosha. I’m sure you will have many friends in no time.»

He flopped back on the bed again and stared at the ceiling. «I hope so.»

«We’ll talk again soon. Love you, son.»

«Love you, too.»

He hung up and let his phone rest on his chest. He’d been to America before. He’d thought he’d known what it would be like, that it wouldn’t be so bad. Different, yes, but there would be so many interesting new things to see, and new teammates, and he certainly knew how to play hockey. What he had failed to take into account, apparently, was how exhausting it was to try to function in English all day. For a US hockey team, the Falconers’ roster was shockingly low on Russian players, so his host family was one of the French Canadian ones. To their credit, they did speak some Russian, but it was hardly enough to have a real conversation. Alexei felt like he’d been practically mute all day.

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why you should watch heroes and halfwits, the season 2 version

part 1

  • against all odds, ryan has somehow become even More
  • against all odds, geoff has somehow outdone ryan and become the Most
  • see the actual moment griffon decided to divorce geoff
  • ad goblin
  • ad goblin jr
  • everyone’s reaction to the ad goblins
  • one of them is an arsonist
  • watch them argue instead of leaving the goddamn building thats BURNING DOWN
  • one of them is a fucking thief
  • and the rest of them wont let that go
  • CORK!!!!!!!! and his shinies
  • the amount of effort frank puts into the story only to have it derailed
  • the amount of effort the group puts into making a plan only for SOMEONE to fuck it all up
  • “KILL THE MAYOR”
  • the fucking farting and illusions
  • albus’ sprite/imp/ferret thing
  • geoff still doesn’t fucking remember what to add his to rolls. STILL. he’s played this game for like 20 years. how is this even possible????
  • like come on. even michael knows at this point and he never played before this.
  • get your shit together geoff
  • whenever someone is almost Dead, frank goes on a fucking Adventure through the rule book trying to save them. it’s impressive no one has died yet.
  • The Mirror of Meta Gaming
  • bo jingles’ mom
  • “ayy it’s akshay”
  • frank really does have some beautiful descriptions of the game that make it through everyone else’s bullshit every once in a while
  • orma’s drug addiction
  • the mayor of this town they go to is donald trump and hes building a fucking wall
  • mogar is as smart as his fucking dog
  • bo jingles is actually famous in this weird alternate reality

just please please watch this show. it takes a bit to get into but i would definitely say it’s one of the best things AH is putting out right now. unfortunately, it doesn’t get as many views as the rest of their content, so we really need to get viewership up if we don’t want it cancelled! 

here’s a link to the playlist. u can thank me later.

Hiraeth | Pt.12

pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | pt.4 | pt.5 | pt.6 | pt.7 | pt.8 | pt.9 | pt.10 | pt.11 | pt.12 |

Words: 6,357.

Genre: Zombie apocalypse au, angst.

Summary: A world full of dwindling hope and lost loves and yet you and Jungkook are all the other needs to feel at home.

Warning: Contains mature content (such as coarse language and violent themes).

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I was doing you a favor by playing the long game...

I too was playing yet another long game by holding on to this for so long.

SO I had read earlier today the owner of a previous job of mine passed away. This was a place that tried to screw me pretty hard and I took some pro revenge on. It drug up some angry old feelings, so why not take an equal dose of catharsis?

WARNING: This is a doozy so strap in if you dare, no TL;DR it wouldn’t do justice.

So this takes place almost a decade ago. I was working as a department manager for a fairly large privately owned pest control company. Their color scheme was black and yellow, much like the taxi’s the owner’s dad used to drive. Since the taxi industry would be around for ever(hello Uber/Lyft) so would this pest control company, (this is important later) or so the owner used to parrot constantly. My job was to over see the techs doing treatments and set their stops and generally manage assorted insect control services, inventory, payroll for that dept, etc etc. I had taken the job from the owners son who took it from the previous manager who they demoted and yet stayed in the dept…this is important later. The owners son was a late 30’s early 40’s man child. I mean if he had dialed it back a few degrees he would have been an awesome guy, but anytime booze was involved he was a mess. If it was weed, he turned into the stereo typical obnoxious stoner making nothing but bad Jamaican accented jokes. He also hit on anything younger than him that moved…while being married w a pregnant wife. But I digress, the owner was a piece of work too, old Jewish guy who was as racist as he was old, not with any kind of seething hatred. Just a “this is the way it is” type attitude. My fave line of his, “The sky is blue, Ch#@ks know math, N@&ers are lazy, Jews know gold. What else is new” Like it was the most clever thing of all time. Finally now on to the revenge and need for such.

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