the dumb fucks at blizzard decided that somehow, bastion was fucking useless, completely ignoring that the reason people generally don’t use him is because most players have some measley iota of respect for other people and he’s a garbage dump of a character NOT because of how useless he is but because of how utterly STUPID it is to play against him and makes it fun for no one
they decided that this walking gun was only not being played because nobody saw any practical uses for him as is, even though every single ten year old and their grandmother i’ve gotten locked in with has known that the strategy of shoving a mercy so far up this gun’s ass and putting the most senile reinhardt in front of them WORKS and it’s so painfully STUPID for both teams
but no, not only was bastion and his self-healing, infinite bullet-spitting ass somehow useless, they had to make him
- have 100 bullets added to his already hefty 200 magazine size, allowing him to spray for a few seconds MORE after he’s already decimated your whimpy ass
- this chump fuck can heal himself while running away like the little coward he is instead of sitting there and receiving the death he deserves, allowing him to heal, run off somewhere, and thanks to his now conveniently larger magazine size, kill you with 25 bullets instead of 20!
- what’s more, his healing is goddamn unstoppable. if you damage him, he just keeps fucking healing. it’s like dealing with roadhog, but at least i can feel something for roadhog, because he’s not a garbage can robot
- and in case this wasn’t enough, this piece of shit is 33% more harder to kill because he takes less damage. say hello to teams exclusively laid out to protect their bastion overlord, that idiot fucking robot, and say goodbye to any semblance of love you have for humankind as a whole
‘bastion should now be stronger and more flexible now, you’re welcome’. go to the trash compactor you smelly fucking hunk of junk. fuck you jeff kaplan. go to hell and take your garbage robot gun with you